1 Alcoholics Anonymous Alcoholics Anonymous: A Professional ...

Alcoholics Anonymous

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Alcoholics Anonymous: A Professional Counselor’s Guide to the Twelve Steps © 1990 Robert J. Chapman, PhD

PROLOGUE

My entire professional life has been spent working with and thereby coming to understand people with alcoholism. Since my January 1974 decision to accept a position as Alcohol Abuse Coordinator for a large, rural Western New York county, I have undergone a complete metamorphosis concerning my understanding of alcoholism and personal view of those who have this illness. Fortunately members of the "recovering community" (Alcoholics Anonymous) called on me shortly after my arrival on the job. The position I filled had been available for some months. Members of the recovering community had awaited the arrival of an addiction counselor for months. Like the survivors of an ocean catastrophe anticipate rescue when spotting a distant ship on the horizon, the addiction counselor position represented the medical community's recognition that alcoholism was more than the result of moral turpitude or weak wills. The recovering community in fact saw this position as a declaration of alcoholism as a genuine health care problem. In short, my position was their vindication, proof that they were not drunken sots who had sold their birthrights for the price of a drink. Rather, they suffered from a recognized illness only recently accepted as a legitimate health care entity. I can only imagine the thoughts of this entourage as they learned of my lack of familiarity,


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personal or professional, with alcohol abuse and alcoholism. Like castaways who watch as their harbinger of salvation disappears beyond the horizon, these representatives of the Cattaraugus County New York recovering community must have felt forsaken and betrayed by the very system from which they had sought acceptance. But whatever those thoughts may have been, the only responses that followed our introductions were warm welcomes and the suggestion that I begin attending open Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) meetings, open meaning anyone, regardless of their personal drinking habits, were welcome to attend. Although I do not recall why I accepted their invitation-draped suggestion, I do know that attending AA was the most significant factor in my evolution as an Alcoholism Counselor. It was that meeting, and subsequently hundreds more, that enabled me to gain an understanding of alcoholism as a genuine health care issue, and an appreciation for the long arduous process associated with personal recovery. No seminar, workshop, text, or academic course has offered anything close to the vantage point AA has offered from which to view alcoholism and its hosts. It has been the personal accounts of alcoholism's progression shared by numerous recovering alcoholic people at countless AA meetings that has enabled me to gain a perspective on this disorder that I had heretofore failed to consider. This process of addiction and the subsequent discovery that one's life can be rendered hostage to ethanol by the influence of genetics, learning, and environment, have only served to alert me to the belief of many recovering in AA, "there, but for the grace of God, go I." It is for these reasons that I have written this essay in order to assist others who have the opportunity to interact with the fellowship of AA. In addition, I wish to proffer a perspective on the 12 suggested steps that may help individuals with alcoholism embrace the program of sobriety suggested by AA.


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As the narratives of AA's will be the focus of this paper, an understanding of AA and the framework of its suggested program of recovery will be of some importance for the reader. As AA's twelve steps are this suggested program, an overview of each with comments from the narrated recovery experiences of alcoholic individuals regarding their relation to the process of recovery will become the major focus of this manuscript.

INTRODUCTION With all we know about alcoholism, it remains, in the eyes of many, as incurable. Arresting its progression through abstinence from alcohol is possible, but changes in one's lifestyle, personal approach to conflict resolution, and a re-prioritizing of personal attitudes, values, and beliefs constitute a process not realized simply by avoiding the consumption of ethanol, the psychoactive drug contained in all alcoholic beverages. It has been my experience that a recovery from a dependence, physical or psychological, on alcohol involves three aspects of an alcoholic individual's life - physical, mental, and spiritual. Attention to these details results in AA being successful for so many with this disorder/disease. A matrix outlining the journey through these three aspects of the human experience is contained in figure 1. Note that in addition to these three, there are also three foci for activities frequently reported by recovering people within each area of one's life. The first two, body and mind, account for a number of the changes that AA's refer to as `dry' or simply not drinking. While the experiences reported by an individual who is `dry' may well seem miraculous to that individual and his/her family, AA's seek a spiritual experience that goes beyond these and results only from the complete metamorphosis of the active alcoholic individual. To this end, the


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metaphysical or spiritual awakening, as AA refers to this, of both the individual and her/his recovery become of significant importance. The following matrix helps organize the reader's thinking concerning this process of change - physical, mental, spiritual - as experienced by the individual recovering from alcoholism. A `southwest to northeast’ diagonal represents this transition and approximate time frames for this process are indicated along the underside of the matrix's base.

FIGURE 1. EARLY SOBRIETY

MIDDLE SOBRIETY

MATURE SOBRIETY

__ _______________________ ___________________ _____________ |

|

|

|

|

| meditation/

S | `pink cloud syndrome',| sense of humor

| prayer come

P | notes physical change,|

|

returns,

more easily

I | attends AA mtgs.

| positive sense of | accepts

R |

|

regularly,

self returns,

|

acceptance,

I | participates in

| let go of problems| surrender to

T |

| beginning to sense|

treatment,

diagnosis

U | sense of well being,

|

A | able to accept

| absence of sense

| harmony with

L |

|

|

compliments

ones belonging, | peace of mind

of isolation

nature

__|_______________________|___________________|______________ |

|

|

| preoccupation with

| rational thinking | meditation,


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M |

physical disorders

|

E |

lessen: insomnia,

|`stinking thinking'|

N |

sexual dysfunction, |

begins to

|

replaces

T |

hypertension, etc.

dissipate,

|

hopeless,

A | physical aches,

| focus on self re

|

helpless

L |

fatigue,

|

change replaces |

feeling of

lethargy lessen

|

focus on others |

isolation

|

|

| |

|

begins,

| sense of hope & belonging

__|_______________________|___________________|______________ |

|

|

P | medical treatment for | eats regularly, H |

physical problems,

|knows alcism.,

| sleeping/resting, | assumes òne

Y | physical withdrawal,

| exercising,

S | abstinence from

| talk of feelings, |view of life:

I |

alcohol & other

| begins to change, | relaxation

C |

drugs,

|

A | detoxification begins | L |

|

|day at a time'

`people, places,|

exercises-

and things'

|

breathing,

|

imagery

__|_______________________|___________________|______________ |

|

|

| *** 3 TO 6 MONTHS *** | ** 6mo to 2 yrs **| ** 2 yrs plus |_______________________|___________________|______________

HOW IT WORKS


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As the preamble of AA states, "Alcoholics Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength, and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from alcoholism" (Anonymous Author, 1984). This approach to recovery, one alcoholic person sharing her or his experience, strength, and hope in order to assist another who has the illness, is alien to many of us who come from an individualistic culture that prides independence, self actualization, and self-will. Such a self-help approach to treating a progressive and potentially fatal disease like alcoholism is seen by some as ludicrous. However, as an old adage suggests, `nothing succeeds like success' and a program that counts 1.5 million individuals worldwide in its active membership is success personified. AA has evolved out of the desire of two American gentlemen in the mid 1930's who found that they were able to achieve together what neither was able to accomplish on his own; sobriety. This birth of a self-help approach to alcoholism has given rise to a process of recovery that has helped better that 1.5 million individuals arrest the progression of their illness and return to an alcohol-and-other-drug free way of life. In addition to the ability to say no to the first drink (the one that most recovering persons say, `gets you drunk'), AA members are able to find a different way to approach the problems experienced in their lives, a new way to approach the demands of living in a society obsessed with consuming chemicals in order to change the way one feels. As I have heard at many AA meetings over the years, Ì came to AA because I had a drinking problem, but I keep coming back because I have a thinking problem'. This commitment to the fellowship of AA is born of a success in being able to say no to the drink that is desperately wanted (as anyone, even the most ardent alcohol dependent individual, can say no to an


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unwanted drink), but comes to full bloom as the member discovers a new way of living. This fellowship has presented those with alcoholism a suggested program of recovery. Although simple in its basic tenets, it is far from easy to master. The program is based upon 12 steps that are suggested as a way to avoid taking that first drink (the only drink one ever needs to avoid) and returning to a life based on the recognition that reality is exactly as it is; more success will be realized in changing one's thoughts and actions than attempting to change those of others. The profound theme woven through this suggested program of recovery is that an acceptance of personal powerlessness over alcohol and the recognition of one's life as unmanageable opens the door to accepting the world as more than the pursuit of personal wants, needs, and desires. This recognition that there is `more to life than me' is the Higher Power (HP) spoken of in the fellowship. This partnership of a recovering person and his/her HP (however one comes to view that- a fellow AA member, the AA group itself, or supreme being) enables the person with alcoholism to end the quest to single handedly resolves all the problems and hassles in life. It is precisely this `grandiosity' (as such individualistic determination is referred to in AA) that has provided the alcoholic individual the opportunity to dwell on her/his needs alone and engage in what many in AA refer to as a `self will run riot'. In recovery, the alcoholic person comes to believe that attention to one's self, acceptance of a power greater than oneself, and avoiding alcohol one day at a time result in a new world view that enables the drinker to experience not only a release from the compulsion to drink, but a peace of mind that is referred to as serenity. As I once heard mentioned at an AA meeting by a middle-aged gentleman who had been trying to control his drinking for most of his adult life, `the war's over, I lost, and that's ok.’


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Coming to this recognition and having had the opportunity to observe others who had successfully struggled with the same problems, allows the individual to choose sobriety over active alcoholism, a choice that heretofore thought to be impossible. The fear of shame and degradation once thought to accompany such an admission of alcoholism simply does not materialize. The individual comes to recognize that he/she is not alone in having to accept powerlessness over alcohol and unmanageable in his/her life in order to recover from alcoholism. If you will, with all AA's acknowledging the importance (and significance) of the First Step, the sense of isolation that so paralyzed the alcoholic individual dissipates in the shared experience of others who have identified their alcoholism and present the `newcomer' with a sense of hope that he/she too can recover. Although this process of recovery happens with regularity in AA, not all persons exposed to the fellowship of AA accept alcoholism as their personal illness upon contact. The choice to embark on the suggested program of recovery espoused by AA often follows repeated attempts to control one's drinking and efforts to seek out an approach to recovery that accommodates the continued use of alcohol. However, the approach to recovery that seems to work best for most is AA. It is often an AA meeting where many recovering from alcoholism go to maintain their newly discovered ability to abstain one day at a time and discover a path to a sober way of living. To this end, those who provide treatment or support services to individuals with alcoholism need to go to where recovering people go in order to witness the fruits of AA involvement. Many times in my years as an Alcoholism Counselor, well trained and dedicated treatment professionals have asked, “how can you stand to work with àlcoholics’? They never seem to get


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better." I have found that the best response to this question is to answer with the question, "when was the last time you went to an open AA meeting?" Upon hearing the usual negative response, the suggestion to go where recovering people go and observe individuals with alcoholism practicing their recovery is usually well taken. THE SUGGESTED STEPS TO RECOVERY At this point, let us consider the fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous and the journey towards recovery each of its members makes by reviewing the 12 suggested steps of the Fellowship as seen through the eyes of individual AAs who have written of their odyssey. As you read, keep in mind that the AA approach to sobriety is not so much a plan to stop/arrest one's drinking as it is a program to change one's thinking. As such, the focus on alcohol per se is only obvious in the first portion of the first step. The second half and subsequent 11 steps are simply not concerned with drinking, rather with living. This, perhaps more than any other factor, presents the non-alcoholic individual (who views the `problem' of alcoholism as a problem with alcohol) with difficulty when considering options for the treatment of alcohol abuse and alcoholism.

Step 1. We admitted that we were powerless over alcohol-that lives had become unmanageable. A cornerstone in the recognition of alcohol abuse and alcoholism is an encounter with the individual's denial of an alcohol problem. Although counselors view denial as coming in various forms such as minimizing, rationalization, or fatalism, its presence stands between the admission of an alcohol problem and its resolution. This first step expresses the belief that when the person with alcoholism comes to a point of realizing that alcohol is the source of expressed difficulties,


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the individual is able to act on (rather than react to) the presenting problem.

Our immediate problem when we came here (AA) was booze, alcohol. That's the thing that ran us in here. It ran me here in a hurry after 25 years, because I had used every resource I had, and I had lost the battle. So I got here at the ripe old age of 43, a failure in every department of my life; failure as a husband, a father, a businessman, a man and a drunk. (P.3, Chuck. C., 1984).

Paradoxically, it is by admitting powerlessness that the alcoholic person comes to realize the potential for recovery. At this point, the `hopelessness and helplessness' experienced by so many with alcoholism begins to be challenged by the sharing of èxperience, strength, and hope' by other recovering people. The concept of manageability heretofore perceived as a question of personal control and dominance, morphs into a relevant area of human performance where some individuals can manage situations alone, others cannot. Just as we accept the fact that we humans do not have the physical capacity to fly under our own power and therefore do not believe that we are `defective' because of this limitation, individuals with alcoholism come to accept that they cannot control alcohol or its effects when consumed yet avoid seeing themselves as being `defective' because they have an illness. It is at this point that the compulsion to drink leaves.

Yes, I began with blind faith, but the proof of truth is that it works. I


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believed those who said they had suffered from alcoholism, but, through AA, were now enjoying sobriety. So the truth was there for me to see. But shortly I knew the truth from my own experience. I was not only released from the compulsion to drink; I was guided toward a compulsion to live! (P.3, Anonymous Author, Came To Believe, 1973)

Step one can be roughly summarized by its operative word, àdmitted.’ This admission is neither a commitment to the program of recovery nor surrender to a new way of life, it is not even a promise to look at one's drinking in a different way. Simply stated, this step is the embodiment of the individual's realization of the connection that exists between the personal consumption of alcohol and acknowledged problems.

It was a revelation when I read the first step. It was very, very simple. My life had become unmanageable due to the excessive use of alcohol. I had drunk too often and too much (P.515, Anonymous Author, Alcoholics Anonymous, 1976).

Step 2. Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. This step presents the alcoholic individual with several difficult hurdles to clear; acknowledging a power greater than one's self, this power's ability to do something he/she cannot, and recognition of one's lack of sanity. Pride, a stubborn commitment to independence, and a belief that all problems would


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disappear if only `things' would improve, result in an alcoholic individual's resistance to taking this step personally.

Despite all we can say, many who are real alcoholics are not going to believe they are in that class. By every form of self-deception and experimentation, they will try to prove themselves exceptions to the rule, therefore nonalcoholic (p. 31, Anonymous Author, Alcoholics Anonymous, 1976).

This seems to many an odd step in a recovery program because it appears a mandate for those with alcoholism to adopt a religious approach to the recovery from the illness. However, when considering a power greater than oneself as being just that, a power capable of doing what the individual is incapable of doing him or herself, this step can be viewed as an exercise in reality as opposed to a call to religion. Even so, many still struggle with this step citing their personal resistance to acknowledging a supreme being, a higher power, a god as rooted in a lack of physical/logical evidence to support such a contention. To these, recovering alcoholic individuals simply share their experiences in this arena.

If you could prove to me logically that there is a personal God- and I don't think you can- I still would not be inclined to talk to a presence I couldn't feel. If I could prove to you logically that there is no God- and I know I can't- your true faith would not be shaken. In other words, matters of faith


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lie entirely outside the realm of reason. Is there anything beyond the realm of human reason? Yes, I believe there is something (p. 85, Anonymous Author, Came To Believe, 1973).

As 'higher power' is explained in the Twelve Steps and Twelve Tradition, electricity is a power greater than the individual, yet most view it as a welcomed power that can be used constructively and to the benefit of the individual. One can explain a return to sanity as an abandonment of the belief that the next drinking episode will be different than the last. Speakers at AA meetings often refer to their total and unshakable belief when they still drank that the `next time' they would drink, there would be no problem. This belief results from the intention to change external events or circumstances that the drinker believes cause the problems that occur when s/he drinks. The commitment to this absolute belief (and resulting anger should another doubt the drinker's ability to facilitate the stated changes) is a cornerstone of the drinker's denial system that always accompanies alcoholic drinking.

Heaven knows, we have tried hard enough and long enough to drink like other people! "Here are some of the methods we have tried: Drinking beer only, limiting the number of drinks, never drinking alone, never drinking in the morning, drinking only at home, never having it in the house, never drinking during business hours, only drinking at parties, switching from scotch to brandy, drinking only natural wines, agreeing to resign if ever


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drunk on the job, taking a trip, not taking a trip, swearing off forever (with or without a solemn oath), taking more physical exercise, reading inspirational books, going to health farms and sanitariums, accepting voluntary commitment to asylums-we could increase the list ad infinitum (p.31, Anonymous Author, Alcoholics Anonymous, 1976).

Step 3. Turned our wills and our lives over to the care of God as we understand Him. For many, addicted individual and professional counselor alike, there is no more difficult step to accept than step three. For an individual who has lived his or her entire life believing willpower plus determination will wrest success from this life, this step is a true challenge. This step appears to suggest that recovery only follow for those who are willing to embrace a Supreme Being, namely, God. However, this is not a prerequisite for AA membership nor recovery in the program.

When, therefore, we speak to you of God, we mean your own conception of God. This applies, too, to other spiritual expressions which you find in this book. Do not let any prejudice you may have against spiritual terms deter you from honestly asking yourself what they mean to you (p.47 Anonymous Author, Alcoholics Anonymous, 1976).

Many who are self espoused agnostics or unable (or unwilling) to consider a divine role in their recovery have found sobriety through the AA program by viewing the AA group itself as their Higher Power. At one AA meeting I heard a young woman speak of her understanding of


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God as being `good orderly direction'- G.O.D., a concept with which she could live. Unfortunately, many individuals with alcoholism speak of relapses that they attribute to an inability to accept step three. If steps one and two embody the recovering person’s admission that they cannot recover alone, step three is the acceptance of that fact. The steps represent the gradual movement towards a new way of looking at the world; accepting that one does not have to (let alone does not have the ability to) control the world. As over heard at meetings, "on my best day I can let things happen; I do not have the ability to make things happen."

I went to bed sure I would never get up again. My thinking had never been clearer. I couldn't really see any way out. By three o'clock in the morning, I still hadn't slept. I was propped up with pillows, and my heart was pounding almost out of my chest. My limbs started turning numb - first my legs above my knees, then my arms above my elbows.

I thought, `This is it!'. I turned to the one source I had been to smart (as I saw it) or too stupid to appeal to earlier. I cried out, `Please God, don't let me die like this!' My tormented heart and soul were in those few words. Almost instantly, the numbness started going away. I felt a Presence in the room. I wasn't alone any more (p. 14, Anonymous Author, Came To Believe..., 1973).

Regardless of the individuals `religious' views, the concept of God for those in AA is a


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concept of a Higher Power that can do for the individual what he or she is incapable of doing for him/her self.

Step 4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves. No one likes to inventory their character defects. The forth step is based on the premise that people with alcoholism are not so much `bad people trying to be good' as they are `sick people trying to get well'. To this end, those in recovery ask the alcoholic individual to inventory the positive as well as negative aspects of his or her life.

Now it's a moral inventory, so we don't have to write every time we turned left when we should have turned right. It doesn't mean that we have to put down everything we ever stole, or every lie we told, or every time we got drunk. That is not what it means. It means to write down enough so that we can see the motivation for what we have done up to now (p.21, Chuck C., 1984).

Often, an initial attempt at the forth step results in a long list of the personal events in the person's life that give rise to guilt and shame. This list of regrets and experiential proof of one's uselessness is affectionately referred to as `garbage.’ As I once heard expressed at an AA meeting by a recent `forth stepper',"... it's like cleaning the garage. First you put all the garbage in a pile. Then you put the piled garbage into bags to be hauled away to the dump.” This step is the process of getting the `garbage' ready for the dump.


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Step 5. Admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs. If step four is `bagging the garbage', step five is taking the bags to the curb and allowing the truck to haul it away. The `fifth step' is the opportunity for the chemically dependent individual to do what has been seen as so horrific for so long; letting someone know what has been done and how she/he feels about that. It is the fifth step that affords the alcohol dependent individual the opportunity to act on the humility expressed in the first three steps; it is the opportunity to `put one's money where one's mouth is'. There is a catharsis that results from sharing information kept secret for so long and has been harbored as the proof of one's failure as a human being. Articulating the dread secrets about one's past, sharing them with another individual who does not pass judgment based on the symptoms of a disease, and often (if taking this step with another recovering person) having the opportunity to learn that someone else has experienced the same feelings if not same behavior, serve to assure the client that recovery is possible, `...even for someone as awful as me.’

"When it came time for me to take my fourth and fifth steps, I feared being honest. Some of the things I had done seemed so bad to me that if anyone found out about them, I was afraid that would be locked up. I was sure that people would never talk to me again. So it was a shock to find the person I took the step with had done many of the same things I did and more. We aren't so horrible as we may have thought. It is sure a relief to know that we aren't so special. Thinking about it beforehand, I almost got drunk, but learning that I was not alone took a load off my back (p.26, Marshall, S., 1978).


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This step often marks the point where the AA has made a genuine commitment to the program of recovery. Effort and trust are invested in both the program and the individual or individuals in the program. It is at this point that the AA begins to recognize the meaning of the term fellowship as it is attached to the program of recovery. In essence, AA has become more than a group, organization, or approach to not drinking. It has become a process by which the individual begins to see an outcome never before thought possible- happiness and acceptance without drinking.

What are we likely to receive from Step Five? For one thing, we shall get rid of that terrible sense of isolation we've always had. Almost without exception, alcoholics are tortured by loneliness. Even before our drinking got bad and people began to cut us off, nearly all of us suffered the feeling that we didn't quite belong. Either w were shy, and dared not draw near others, or we were apt to be noisy good fellows craving attention and companionship, but never getting it- at least to our thinking. There was always that mysterious barrier we could neither surmount nor understand. It was as if we were actors on a stage, suddenly realizing that we did not know a single line of our parts. That's one reason we loved alcohol too well. It did let us act extemporaneously. But even Bacchus boomeranged on us; we were finally struck down and left in terrified loneliness (p.57, Anonymous Author, Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, 1952).


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Step 6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character. This step does not so much direct the recovering person to `confession' in order to receive forgiveness for sin, as to challenge him/her to let go of the defects that have served to rationalize the continued drinking that has exemplified the alcoholism. In short, what choice does the AA have at this point (having admitted powerlessness, acknowledged his/her inability to handle things alone, compiled a grocery list of short comings and less-than-positive results of drinking, and having shared all this openly) but to prepare to have the defect of character removed.

The main thing is that we become willing to give them (defects of character) away, and we give them away. If we could have done away with our defects of character, we would have done it before we came here. I wasn't just jumpin' up and kickin' my heels together, saying, `Goodie, goodie, I get to go to Alcoholics Anonymous!' I'm sure my mother didn't raise me to be a member of Alcoholics Anonymous. She's 96 and doesn't believe it yet! I say, Ì've had 29 years without a drink', and she says ` What's so hot about that, I've had 96 years!' So, we become willing to give them away and we give them away (p. 22, Chuck C., 1984).

Ironically, it is the procession through the steps that removes' these defects of character and results in a radical change in lifestyle. It is at this point that the alcoholic individual has made the commitment to press on with the remaining steps of the AA program.


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Step 7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings. For the individual who believes in (or has come to believe in) a God in a traditional sense, this step is the embodiment of the relationship with the Father as addressed in the biblical account of the prodigal son. In essence, this Step is specifically concerned with humility and the active alcoholic person's obsession with self reliance, willpower and control.

For just so long as we were convinced that we could live exclusively by our own individual strength and intelligence, for just that long was a working faith in a Higher Power impossible. As long as we placed self-reliance first, a genuine reliance upon a Higher Power was out of the question. That basic ingredient of all humility, a desire to seek and do God's will, was missing (p.72, Anonymous Author, Twelve Steps & Twelve Traditions, 1952).

For the AA who views her/his HP as the group itself or other recovering individuals who have found peace of mind anda way of life in AA that she/he wanted, this step is the simple acknowledgment of the commitment to follow the lead of those individuals. As a slogan often heard repeated at AA meetings suggests, `stick with the winners'.

Surrender to me has meant the ability to run my home, to face my responsibilities as they should be faced, to take life as it comes to me day by day, and work my problems out. That's what surrender has meant to me. I surrendered once to the bottle, and I couldn't do


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these things. Since I gave my will over to AA, whatever AA has wanted of me I've tried to do to the best of my ability. When I'm asked to go out on a call, I go. I'm not going; AA is leading me there. AA gives us alcoholics direction into a way of life without the need for alcohol. That life for me is lived one day at a time, letting the problems of the future rest with the future (p.340, Anonymous Author, Alcoholics Anonymous, 1976).

Step 8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all. As the AA grows towards this new way of life, the recognition of personal responsibility for the hassles experienced by others with whom the AA had interacted over the months/years preceding any involvement in AA becomes more obvious. While the process of recovery has suggested to the AA that reality is what it is and one cannot `go back in time' to undo mistakes made, recognizing the harm done enables the AA to acknowledge such and make amends. Again, this is one of the humility steps. No individual can acknowledge personal responsibility for having harmed another without first having reached a point of genuine humility. The focus is on others and the goal is not a self- serving remorse or concern for what that individual thinks of the AA, but a concern for the individual harmed and desire to put closure on the incident by accepting responsibility for its happening.

He felt that he had done a wrong that he could not possibly make right. If he opened that old affair he was afraid it would destroy the reputation of his partner, disgrace his family and take away his means of livelihood. What right had he to involve those dependent upon him? How could he possibly make a public statement exonerating his rival? (p. 80, Anonymous Author,


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Alcoholics Anonymous, 1976)

Step 9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others. Once listed, the AA methodically acknowledges the harm caused, assuming responsibility for the consequences of that harm. The key phrase in this step is `...except when to do so would injure them or others.' The rule of thumb regarding this portion of the step is to maintain the focus on the correct individual benefitting. If my goal is to simply approach everyone I ever offended and say I am sorry, I have missed the point of the step. The purpose is for this step to be an exercise in humility. Making this acknowledgement is for the benefit of the other person; it is to put closure on the situation and afford both parties the opportunity to let go and get on with their individual lives.

After consulting with his wife and partner he came to the conclusion that it was better to take those risks (continued from the referenced citation in step 8 above) than to stand before his Creator guilty of such ruinous slander. He saw that he had to place the outcome in God's hands or he would soon start drinking again, and all would be lost anyhow. He attended church for the first time in many years. After the sermon, he quietly got up and made an explanation. His action met widespread approval, and today he is one of the most trusted citizens of his town (p.80, Anonymous Author, Alcoholics Anonymous, 1976).

To inform one's best friend of a here-to-fore unknown transgression when to do so would harm


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the friend, serves no purpose. The acknowledgment of that secret or “guilty conscience” is best handled within steps 4 and 5. On the other hand to approach one's former employer and thank them for having confronted the poor work performance and the presentation of the ultimatum to get treatment or get a ne job is to act on step 9 rather than react to it.

Once the past is cleared, our fears of the future begin disappearing. Living in the here-and-now proves to be an exciting, challenging path to follow (p. 28, Marshall, S., 1978).

Step 10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it. Having come to a point in recovery where the process of viewing self, interaction with others, and accepting responsibility for one's own actions, are a recognized part of the transition to sobriety, the importance of daily self monitoring is impressed upon the individual. This step is tantamount to a daily litmus test to assess if the AA remains on the path to recovery.

When I'm not taking responsibility for my behavior, then I'm saying Ìt's not my fault,' and I'm blaming everything and everybody around me for my actions. Then I get stoned and say, Ìt's not my fault.' If I just fix the blame everywhere but where it belongs, then I eliminate all my choices, you know. Then I'm out of control, and then I'm back to us in (Dana W., 1989).

While the belief in AA is that the recovering person will never be completely cured, it is


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important that the individual maintain a focus on the importance of the present moment. To think of oneself as having àrrived' at sobriety is dangerous to that sobriety. It is the daily inventory and review of personal behaviors and interpersonal relations that insures the steady movement towards spiritual growth. The prompt admission of mistakes made and acceptance of the resulting consequences is a process by which self respect and esteem are reinforced. In short, the AA begins to view the importance of life as including recognition of fallibility rather than the `drinking' belief that fallibility equates with weakness and is indicative of the person's worth as an individual. It is at this point that the AA begins to realize that the urge to drink no longer exists. The compulsion to consume alcohol that had once seemed insurmountable and resulted in a fear that could only be assuaged by the first drink of the `next bender' has left and been replaced by a healthy fear of alcohol and desire for continued sobriety. This step affords the AA the opportunity to maintain his/her sobriety and avoid it's being sabotaged by petty resentments, selfpity or self defeating thoughts/actions.

And we have ceased fighting anything or anyone- even alcohol. For by this time sanity will have returned. We will seldom be interested in liquor. If tempted, we recoil from it as from a hot flame. We react sanely and normally, and we will find that this has happened automatically. We will see that our new attitude toward liquor has been given u without any thought or effort on our part. It just comes!" (p. 84, Anonymous Author, Alcoholics Anonymous, 1976).


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Step 11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood him, praying only of his knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out. Step 11 is, in my opinion, the expression of the true purpose of humanity's existence on earth. It is the realization that we are players in a much more involved performance than the drinking life of an active alcoholic person. To accept that a power greater than oneself exists and to dedicate a portion of one's life to attempting to establish a personal relationship with that power (however it is understood) places the AA in a position of being a conduit through which that power can flow. As once heard discussed at an AA meeting, the recovering individual is the $1.98 wall switch through which the electricity must flow in order for the light to illuminate the room. It does no good to have the most technologically sophisticated electrical system available if there is no switch by which to conduct the power. Sobriety for the AA is far more than the realization that alcohol can be avoided one day at a time. It is the recognition that each individual has a purpose on this Earth and that purpose is to make a difference by having been here. The sober AA comes to believe that a `positive' difference is made by accepting one's place in the `big picture'. This is facilitated by a thoughtful and intentional development of a personal relationship with their personal Higher Power. Prayer and meditation are the vehicles by which this relationship is realized.

Regardless of the mistakes I make, my Friend is always there, available to me at any time, day or night. I can talk, and He does not interrupt, no matter how I ramble on. Sometimes, while


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talking to Him, I receive a solution to my problem. Other times, just by putting my problem into words, I see how petty and unimportant it is. I feel as if my Friend is holding my hand and gently guiding me if I will listen. I feel that when I do not listen, my Friend is hurt, but never angry. My Friend is with me at work or at home, my constant companion wherever I go. He is my Higher Power as I understand it. He is the God I know (p. 79, Anonymous Author, Came To Believe..., 1973).

Step 12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry the message to alcoholics, and practice these principles in all our affairs. Realizing a change in one's world view and a consideration of how one fits into that world, the AA is ready to share, as the preamble cited earlier in this paper indicated, "...their experience, strength, and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from alcoholism."

Practical experience shows that nothing will so much insure immunity from drinking as intensive work with other alcoholics. It works when other activities fail. This is our twelfth suggestion: Carry this message to other alcoholics! You can help when no one else can. You can secure their confidence when others fail. Remember they are very ill (p. 89, Anonymous Author, Alcoholics Anonymous, 1976).

It is this sharing of oneself with another alcoholic person that results in recovery. Just as the


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co-founders of AA discovered that they could do together what they could not do alone, each day AA's discover the power of serving others through selfless sharing as they practice the suggested steps of the program in all their personal affairs. This attempt to infuse the approach to living embodied in these steps into their life as a whole, allows for new approach to the resolution of conflict and prioritizing of issues calling for the individual's attention.

EPILOGUE This approach to recovery may differ from the treatment provided by many Professional Counselors and Human Service Workers. Their training has prepared them to focus attention on the client and thereby open the door to treatment. AA finds the recovering individual focusing on him/herself and sharing his/her `story' so as to assuage the recovering person's isolation (or as I heard one AA say, à sense of terminal uniqueness') thereby encouraging the alcoholic individual to consider sobriety. Yet while different, these approaches complement each other nicely. If you will, the sharing of one's experience, strength, and hope by a recovering person coupled with the intervention of a skilled counselor manages to place the individual with alcoholism squarely between the proverbial `rock and a hard place'; aware of the realities of her/his alcoholism (the by-product of counseling) and afforded the opportunity to do something about it as demonstrated by other recovering alcoholic individuals. Even with this overview of AA's suggested program of recovery, I must admit that this is not the only way that individuals with alcoholism recover. I have known individuals with what appeared to be terminal cases of alcoholism come to a point in their lives when they would


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simply stop drinking, the classic `cold turkey' approach. Likewise, I have known individuals who stopped drinking and attributed this to the miraculous intervention by God and their total immersion in some sort of organized religion. Notwithstanding these cases, and there are many, my experience has been that AA has been the avenue of recovery for most who have discovered a way to abstain from alcohol and incorporate a new approach to living into their lives. Such a recovery often results in so dramatic a change for the alcoholic person as to leave that individual (and those who witness the metamorphoses) hard pressed to deny the role played by a Higher Power. To this end, I respectfully suggest attendance at an open AA meeting or two (speaker meetings in particular) in order to experience the mystery of recovery I have only been able to allude to within this paper.


REFERENCES

Anonymous Author, 1952; Twelve Steps And Twelve Traditions , Alcoholics Anonymous World Service Office, New York. Anonymous Author, 1973; Came To Believe... , Alcoholics Anonymous World Service Office, New York Anonymous Author, 1976; Alcoholics Anonymous, Alcoholics Anonymous World Service Office, New York Anonymous Author, 1984; This is AA, Alcoholics Anonymous World Service Office, Ne York. C., Chuck, 1984; A New Pair of Glasses, New-Look Publishing Company, Irvine, Ca. Marshall, S., 1978; Young, Sober & Free, Hazelden Educational Materials, Center City, Mn. W., Dana, 1989; Young People in Recovery, Hazelden Educational Materials, Center City, Mn.

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