Jul 19, 2015 - chained with the soul of David.â Aristotle defined friendship as âa single soul dwelling in two bodie
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Becoming a Great Friend Becoming a Great Friend
Dr. Brandon Park | July 19, 2015
Most people are not living at the peak of their spiritual experience. They know how to fire it up, but they don’t know how to keep it going. One of the best ways to keep it going is through the accountability that c omes through great Biblical friendships. The Christian life is not a solo gig. It requires teamwork. We desperately need each other so that when we want to quit we can’t because our friends won’t allow it! Those closest to you will ___________________ your level of success or failure in life! If you bring good people around you, they will bless you. If you bring the wrong people around you, they will curse you. The friends you choose will greatly determine the quality and direction of your life. David and Jonathan had what is perhaps the most famous friendship in the history of the world. King Saul (Jonathan’s father) was jealous of the popularity David had after defeating Goliath. Eventually, Saul’s jealousy and hatred of David grew to the point where he was trying to kill him. David was now facing an even greater giant, but God brought the one thing that he desperately needed at this point in his life – a friend. If ever there was a friendship with the cards stacked against it, this was the one. Jonathan was first in line to the throne under his father Saul, and David had been anointed king by Samuel according to God’s direction. You’d never think two people who wanted the same throne could become friends, but they did, and out of their adversity came a powerful picture of friendship. A Biblical friend holds you up when you __________________ and holds you down when you ___________________. Notice the six ways that Jonathan supported David. These are the ways we can support our friends and become a great friend for others. Ask yourself: “Am I that kind of friend?”
1. Great friends give you their _______________.
You need to love your friends better than y ourself. “Now it came about when he had finished speaking to Saul, that the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as himself” (1 Samuel 18:1). Literally translated, what this verse says is that “The soul of Jonathan was chained with the soul of David.” Aristotle defined friendship as “a single soul dwelling in two bodies.” Jonathan had the highest love that one could have for another because we read: “Jonathan loved him as himself.” Do you realize that before you can really love others, you have to learn to love yourself? I know a secret about people who don’t come across as very loving – they have a hard time loving themselves. Jonathan could have easily been jealous of David, because he was the rightful heir to the throne. He said in effect, “David, even though I know you are going to take my place as king of the nation, I am going to be your friend for life.” There are no conditions to true friendship. Someone has well said that “Friends are like good health; you don’t realize what a gift they are until you lose them.”
2. Great friends give you their _______________.
A Biblical friend holds you up when you stumble because they are there for you. “And Jonathan, Saul’s son, rose and went to David” (I Samuel 23:16). Jonathan had many reasons for staying away. He had everything to lose and nothing to gain personally. He was risking his father’s wrath. When he got up to leave the table in the palace, his father grabbed his spear and threw it at his own son to try to kill him (1 Samuel 20:30–33). That’s how crazy Saul was. In siding with David, Jonathan was risking his own position. After all, if Jonathan let King Saul kill David, Jonathan would inherit the throne. David was alone, and he was afraid. And Jonathan said to himself, “There is no way that I am going to let him down.” He went to David. When it comes to friendship, ________________ is far m ore important than _______________. The best definition I ever read of a friend is this: “A friend is someone who will walk into your house when the whole world just walked out.” A real friend is in your corner when you are cornered. There are different levels of relationship. • There are __________________ – these are the people you may get a Christmas card from. • There are __________________ – these are the people you may work with, have lunch with on occasion. • Then there are _____________ ________________ who will stick with you and stay with you no matter what.
3. Great friends give you their _____________________.
A Biblical friend holds you up when you stumble by praying with you. Samuel reported that Jonathan not only went to David, but “strengthened his hand in God” ( 1 Samuel 23:16). The NASB translates it, “He … encouraged him.” The Hebrew text is much more specific than that. It says literally “and strengthened his hand in God.” David was a mighty man of faith. Notice that even great men and women of faith have times when their faith struggles. Often when we go to minister to people, there is nothing to say. The burden is too big; the hurt is too great. It’s about presence, and it’s about prayer. We need friends who will take us to God, and we need to be that kind of friend to others who are struggling. Can’t you just hear Jonathan saying, “Hey, David, I can’t solve this. B ut I know who can.” He probably put his arm around him and said, “We need to pray about this. We need to take this before the Lord.” Real, genuine B iblical friends pray with one another and for one another. Think about the people who you would consider “friends” and ask yourself: 1.)“Do they bring out the best in me or the worst?” 2.) “Am I better for being around them or worse? 3.) Do they motivate me to do more or less?” "The righteous should choose his friends carefully, for the way o f the wicked leads them astray" (Proverbs 12:26).
4. Great friends give you their ____________________.
A Biblical friend holds you up when you stumble by protecting you. Jonathan gave his friend assurance: “Do not fear, for the hand of Saul my father shall n ot find you” ( verse 17). When David heard those words of support, he gained strength. There is nothing worse than a so-‐ called friend who comes along when you are in crisis and says, “Hey, I can see why you’re upset. Yeah, she drives me c razy, too!” Or, “You have every right to feel that way.” When our heart is a tornado, the last thing we need is for somebody to show up with a fan. That’s not friendship. Biblical friendship provides words that protect and support our troubled emotional state during hardship. In c hapters 18-‐20, you find that six different times Saul tried to kill David until David was finally forced to become a fugitive on the run. In fact, Jonathan saves David’s life by informing him that Saul intended to kill him. In a secret meeting, they had an incredibly moving departure scene, because they both knew they may not ever see each other again (read 1 Samuel 20:41-‐42).
5. Great friends give you their ___________ ____________.
A Biblical friend holds you up when you stumble by confirming their personal loyalty. Jonathan said, “You shall be king over Israel, and I shall b e next to you” ( verse 17). As if to say, “Hey Dave, let me paint a picture of our future. I already figured it out: you’re going to be king—not me! And don’t even worry about whether that’s going to sever our relationship. I’m fine with being number two as long as you’re number one.” No wonder David loved him. “Then Jonathan made a covenant with David b ecause h e loved him as himself. Jonathan stripped himself o f the robe that was on h im and gave it to David, with his armor, including his sword and his bow and his belt” (1 Samuel 18:3-‐4). What did Jonathan give David that symbolized his loyalty? • His robe symbolized his _________________. It was a symbol of both his status as prince and his future role as king. • His armor symbolized his ____________________. His armor was a picture of his role as commander-‐in-‐chief over all the armies. • His belt symbolized his ____________________. The belt was the chief ornament of a soldier worn only by the wealthy and by royalty, which represented all that he could have had as king, but he was giving up for David. In the Good News Translation of the Bible, Proverbs 18:24 says, “Some friendships do not last, but some friends are more loyal than brothers.”
6. Great friends give you their ____________________. A Biblical friend holds you up when you stumble by confirming the friendship with a promise. “Then Jonathan made a covenant with David…” (1 Samuel 18:3). This is a picture of two men saying, “Let’s stand together in this. Let’s make a commitment to each other that together we’re going to be the men that God wants us to be.” You might be thinking: “I wish I had a Jonathan in my life.” You can have a Jonathan in your life if you will be a Jonathan in someone else’s life. Proverbs 18:24, “A man who has friends must himself be friendly.” Ask yourself: If you were another person, would y ou like to be a friend of yours? In the next 30 days, find someone that you can be a Jonathan to.
1
Becoming a Great Friend Becoming a Great Friend
Dr. Brandon Park | July 19, 2015
Most people are not living at the peak of their spiritual experience. They know how to fire it up, but they don’t know how to keep it going. One of the best ways to keep it going is through the accountability that c omes through great Biblical friendships. The Christian life is not a solo gig. It requires teamwork. We desperately need each other so that when we want to quit we can’t because our friends won’t allow it! determine Those closest to you will ___________________ your level of success or failure in life! If you bring good people around you, they will bless you. If you bring the wrong people around you, they will curse you. The friends you choose will greatly determine the quality and direction of your life. David and Jonathan had what is perhaps the most famous friendship in the history of the world. King Saul (Jonathan’s father) was jealous of the popularity David had after defeating Goliath. Eventually, Saul’s jealousy and hatred of David grew to the point where he was trying to kill him. David was now facing an even greater giant, but God brought the one thing that he desperately needed at this point in his life – a friend. If ever there was a friendship with the cards stacked against it, this was the one. Jonathan was first in line to the throne under his father Saul, and David had been anointed king by Samuel according to God’s direction. You’d never think two people who wanted the same throne could become friends, but they did, and out of their adversity came a powerful picture of friendship. stumble A Biblical friend holds you up when you __________________ and holds you down when you stray ___________________. Notice the six ways that Jonathan supported David. These are the ways we can support our friends and become a great friend for others. Ask yourself: “Am I that kind of friend?”
1. Great friends give you their _______________. priority
You need to love your friends better than y ourself. “Now it came about when he had finished speaking to Saul, that the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as himself” (1 Samuel 18:1). Literally translated, what this verse says is that “The soul of Jonathan was chained with the soul of David.” Aristotle defined friendship as “a single soul dwelling in two bodies.” Jonathan had the highest love that one could have for another because we read: “Jonathan loved him as himself.” Do you realize that before you can really love others, you have to learn to love yourself? I know a secret about people who don’t come across as very loving – they have a hard time loving themselves. Jonathan could have easily been jealous of David, because he was the rightful heir to the throne. He said in effect, “David, even though I know you are going to take my place as king of the nation, I am going to be your friend for life.” There are no conditions to true friendship. Someone has well said that “Friends are like good health; you don’t realize what a gift they are until you lose them.”
presence 2. Great friends give you their _______________.
A Biblical friend holds you up when you stumble because they are there for you. “And Jonathan, Saul’s son, rose and went to David” (I Samuel 23:16). Jonathan had many reasons for staying away. He had everything to lose and nothing to gain personally. He was risking his father’s wrath. When he got up to leave the table in the palace, his father grabbed his spear and threw it at his own son to try to kill him (1 Samuel 20:30–33). That’s how crazy Saul was. In siding with David, Jonathan was risking his own position. After all, if Jonathan let King Saul kill David, Jonathan would inherit the throne. David was alone, and he was afraid. And Jonathan said to himself, “There is no way that I am going to let him down.” He went to David. quality quantity When it comes to friendship, ________________ is far m ore important than _______________. The best definition I ever read of a friend is this: “A friend is someone who will walk into your house when the whole world just walked out.” A real friend is in your corner when you are cornered. There are different levels of relationship. acquainstances • There are __________________ – these are the people you may get a Christmas card from. companions • There are __________________ – these are the people you may work with, have lunch with on occasion. genuine friends • Then there are _____________ ________________ who will stick with you and stay with you no matter what.
prayers 3. Great friends give you their _____________________.
A Biblical friend holds you up when you stumble by praying with you. Samuel reported that Jonathan not only went to David, but “strengthened his hand in God” ( 1 Samuel 23:16). The NASB translates it, “He … encouraged him.” The Hebrew text is much more specific than that. It says literally “and strengthened his hand in God.” David was a mighty man of faith. Notice that even great men and women of faith have times when their faith struggles. Often when we go to minister to people, there is nothing to say. The burden is too big; the hurt is too great. It’s about presence, and it’s about prayer. We need friends who will take us to God, and we need to be that kind of friend to others who are struggling. Can’t you just hear Jonathan saying, “Hey, David, I can’t solve this. B ut I know who can.” He probably put his arm around him and said, “We need to pray about this. We need to take this before the Lord.” Real, genuine B iblical friends pray with one another and for one another. Think about the people who you would consider “friends” and ask yourself: 1.)“Do they bring out the best in me or the worst?” 2.) “Am I better for being around them or worse? 3.) Do they motivate me to do more or less?” "The righteous should choose his friends carefully, for the way o f the wicked leads them astray" (Proverbs 12:26).
4. Great friends give you their ____________________. protection
A Biblical friend holds you up when you stumble by protecting you. Jonathan gave his friend assurance: “Do not fear, for the hand of Saul my father shall n ot find you” ( verse 17). When David heard those words of support, he gained strength. There is nothing worse than a so-‐ called friend who comes along when you are in crisis and says, “Hey, I can see why you’re upset. Yeah, she drives me c razy, too!” Or, “You have every right to feel that way.” When our heart is a tornado, the last thing we need is for somebody to show up with a fan. That’s not friendship. Biblical friendship provides words that protect and support our troubled emotional state during hardship. In c hapters 18-‐20, you find that six different times Saul tried to kill David until David was finally forced to become a fugitive on the run. In fact, Jonathan saves David’s life by informing him that Saul intended to kill him. In a secret meeting, they had an incredibly moving departure scene, because they both knew they may not ever see each other again (read 1 Samuel 20:41-‐42).
personal loyalty 5. Great friends give you their ___________ ____________.
A Biblical friend holds you up when you stumble by confirming their personal loyalty. Jonathan said, “You shall be king over Israel, and I shall b e next to you” ( verse 17). As if to say, “Hey Dave, let me paint a picture of our future. I already figured it out: you’re going to be king—not me! And don’t even worry about whether that’s going to sever our relationship. I’m fine with being number two as long as you’re number one.” No wonder David loved him. “Then Jonathan made a covenant with David b ecause h e loved him as himself. Jonathan stripped himself o f the robe that was on h im and gave it to David, with his armor, including his sword and his bow and his belt” (1 Samuel 18:3-‐4). What did Jonathan give David that symbolized his loyalty? royalty • His robe symbolized his _________________. It was a symbol of both his status as prince and his future role as king. authority • His armor symbolized his ____________________. His armor was a picture of his role as commander-‐in-‐chief over all the armies. wealth • His belt symbolized his ____________________. The belt was the chief ornament of a soldier worn only by the wealthy and by royalty, which represented all that he could have had as king, but he was giving up for David. In the Good News Translation of the Bible, Proverbs 18:24 says, “Some friendships do not last, but some friends are more loyal than brothers.”
6. Great friends give you their ____________________. promise A Biblical friend holds you up when you stumble by confirming the friendship with a promise. “Then Jonathan made a covenant with David…” (1 Samuel 18:3). This is a picture of two men saying, “Let’s stand together in this. Let’s make a commitment to each other that together we’re going to be the men that God wants us to be.” You might be thinking: “I wish I had a Jonathan in my life.” You can have a Jonathan in your life if you will be a Jonathan in someone else’s life. Proverbs 18:24, “A man who has friends must himself be friendly.” Ask yourself: If you were another person, would y ou like to be a friend of yours? In the next 30 days, find someone that you can be a Jonathan to.
