companies like Apple or the best athletes like Lebron James make mistakes. ..... water (dehydration will sap your energy
Eight Great Ideas for Life, Learning, and Leadership
Introduction and Pre-Learning Activities
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Eight Great Ideas for Life, Learning, and Leadership 1. Relaxed Concentration o The Concentration Diagram o The “Flow” State
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2. Awareness of Self and Others o The Culture Iceberg o Your Johari Window
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3. Don’t Take It Personally!
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4. The Gap
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5. The Power of Habits!
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6. Effort, Grit, and Growth o The 10,000-hour Rule o Growth Mindset
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7. Emotional Intelligence
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8. E = M C2
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o o o o o o o
A Formula for Staying Focused on Your Goals & Maximizing Positive Energy Activity: Develop Your Own Formula or Acronym for Success Start With Your Goals in Mind (Beautiful Places) E is for Energy (The Power of Full Engagement–and Rest) = Is for Equilibrium (Staying Balanced, with an Open and Clear Mind) M is for Mindfulness (Awareness, Concentration, and Flow) C2 Is for Complexity/Change (Understand What’s Happening; Stay Flexible)
Putting It Together: How the 8 Ideas Relate to Each Other
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Author’s Note and Follow-Up Learning Activity
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Introduction and Pre-Learning Activities There is nothing so practical as a good theory. Kurt Lewin I developed, researched, and wrote this resource for high school students, college students, and adults of all ages interested in improving their performance, accelerating learning, and developing key leadership skills applicable to success at school or work, or in any life pursuit. These are just a few of many great ideas, tools, concepts, theories, and practices that are out there, including some that you have discovered, or will discover! I am sharing these ideas because they are particularly fundamental to success in life, learning, and leadership. For example, knowing how to concentrate and having good habits are keys to good/great performances in any endeavor. Being emotionally intelligent and mindful (practicing mindfulness) could not be more basic in life: the alternatives are not very good (try not being mindful while driving a car, for example). If you can’t explain what you’re doing in simple English, you are probably doing something wrong. Alfred Kahn These ideas, many adapted from best-selling books, are presented in a simple, practical way, designed for you to quickly understand and absorb the core concept. The concepts themselves, like emotional intelligence, relaxed concentration, and the culture iceberg, are based on highly memorable key words or phrases—or, in the case of E=MC2, as an easy-to-remember formula (for staying focused on your goals and maximizing positive energy and good decision-making). This resource also uses simple visuals and graphics, another important element for accelerating learning and facilitating long-term memory. My hope is that this resource will empower you to find your voice in life and be an effective and successful leader and life-long learner (in fact, you can’t do one without the other), because there is nothing more important than learning to take responsibility for your life, learning, goals, and career. In this rapidly changing, complex, global world we live in you will have multiple jobs and careers in your lifetime, and will experience enumerable opportunities for personal and professional growth and learning. I want to leave you with the idea that there are some simple practices, ideas, and tools out there, such as paying attention to your habits, developing your awareness of self and others, and understanding the dynamics of change and complexity, that can accelerate your learning and facilitate your success in school and beyond. Given the way we as human beings are wired, the life, learning, and leadership skills highlighted in this resource are not only each a key to success, they are also very interrelated. Improve your concentration and awareness and you will be more mindful and be able to increase your energy level. Develop good habits and become an expert at monitoring your energy level and decreasing “the gap” between what you want and what you are doing and you will make faster progress toward your goals…And so on!
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Pre-Learning Activities Think About Your Own Experience Questions for reflection… 1. Think about a time when you had a peak performance (something you are proud of), when you were really concentrating well. Maybe it was a sporting event, a speech, a big exam, a musical recital, or when you organized a big, intensive project in your community or school. What made you successful? What did it feel like when it was happening? 2. Have you ever experienced a cultural bump—a time when you had a serious miscommunication with someone from another culture? What happened? What was the root cause of the misunderstanding? 3. Think about a time when someone else’s drama (that had nothing to do with you) caused you emotional stress. What happened? What could you do differently next time? 4. What is the biggest goal you have right now? Is there a gap between what you want (your goal), and what you are doing in practice to reach your goal? 5. What good habits do you have? What not-so-good habits do you have? How do you replace a bad habit with a good one? 6. Why do you think it is important and advantageous in life to have a growth mindset (as opposed to a fixed mindset)? 7. Think about a time that you did something that was not very emotionally intelligent…What happened? What would you do differently next time? 8. How is your energy level right now—good, average, or low? At what times of day do you have the most energy? The least? What can you do to increase your overall energy level?
Quickly Skim Read/Scan This Resource Good leaders and learners know how to quickly absorb new ideas, and, if they make sense and help improve performance, incorporate and use them right away. If it helps you be successful, make it your own! If it is not very useful for you right now, move on and come back to it later.
Accelerated Learning Challenge See how quickly you can skim read and scan through this document. Grasp the basic idea of each section, then go back and spend more time on sections that interest you.
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Relaxed Concentration
There is always an inner game being played in your mind no matter what outer game you are playing. How you play this game usually makes the difference between success and failure. W. Timothy Gallwey, Author and Coach The concentration diagram is a very simple way to think about concentration and awareness, what you are aware of right now. At any point in time, you can gently notice where your concentration is going…Think about your concentration or awareness as a maximum of 100%. When you are really concentrating well, most of your awareness will be focused where you want it to be; when you are distracted, which can happen at any moment given the constant reality of all types of change around us—and the number of digital devices in our midst—your concentration and awareness will start wandering all over the place. The magic of the concentration diagram is that by simply being aware of where your mind is going at any moment in time, you will know that you are either concentrating, distracted, or somewhere in between. Knowing that is key. Just by being aware of your distractions, gently noticing them, they often quickly evaporate (lose their power)! On the other hand, your awareness (the concentration diagram) could be sending you an important message, such as that you have been studying too long— that you are stuck, burned out, or heavily distracted and need to take a break for a few minutes! For all of us, our focus or concentration can wander at any moment! For example, you may be engaged in doing a school or work project or watching a movie with a friend when you suddenly become aware that you have to go the bathroom, and that you forgot to call your mom, girlfriend, or boyfriend. At that moment, your concentration diagram might be 30% on the activity, 40% on thinking about having to go to the bathroom, and 30% (increasing rapidly) on thinking “I’m going to be in so much trouble!” (More accurately, from the standpoint of brain science, and the perspective of what is happening moment to moment, when you are distracted your attention is flitting around like a nervous, neurotic bird, bouncing from one thing to another, rather than being focused on the primary activity at hand. It is quite common for most people in offices these days, for example, to be heavily distracted by each digital message that they get, whether it is a priority or not…Not a recipe for doing quality, concentrated work.) Learning how to concentrate well is a key skill for success in every aspect of life, from taking tests and doing well in sports or music to being a good listener. If you find yourself not listening to someone, and realize they are getting annoyed, notice your concentration diagram! It also takes practice and experience to learn to concentrate well on each new activity you try. Whether it is a new job, sport, or musical instrument, you will have to pay attention to figure out what is 4
important to focus on. When you are learning a new skill, you have to break it down and work on each of the parts, as well as the whole. For example, if you are learning how to play the piano you will need to practice playing with both your left and your right hand, sometimes separately, and also learn the rhythm, melody, dynamics, phrasing, and so on. If you are getting frustrated, not being very effective during your practice time, you might be trying to learn too much at one time. Relaxed concentration is the key to excellence in all things. W. Timothy Gallwey in The Inner Game of Tennis When you are “in the zone,” performing well at something, you will have the perfect blend of relaxed concentration, a pure, good feeling of being in a “flow” state, like a great athlete able to focus on the ball when there are thousands of distractions around him/her. Think about the good feeling you have when you are really excelling at your favorite activity, or even if you are just in a good mental space at home listening, without distractions, to an incredible song, completely absorbed in an activity. With practice, you can improve your concentration, and spend more and more time “in the zone”! Also, remember the key concept of relaxed concentration. Many athletes and coaches (or people learning and practicing any skill) overemphasize extreme approaches that lead to straining, overtraining, and injury. Yes, intensive effort and practice over a long time is essential for success: but when you examine pretty much every world record that has been set (or your own peak performance in your favorite endeavor) the athlete is usually in that optimal zone of flow and relaxed concentration (albeit at a very high level of effort and concentration built up over many years of deliberate practice — think of Michael Jordan). That is how it should be: rather than being painful, damaging, awkward, straining, or ugly, success tends to look and feel beautiful. Discussion Questions/Reflection: • • •
Think about a time when you were really concentrating well…What did it feel like? What made you successful? Where is your concentration right now? If you are distracted, what percent of your concentration is going where? Are you trying to learn a new subject or skill right now? How effective is your study or practice time? Are you concentrating on the right things (deliberate, effective practice), or do you need guidance from a teacher or coach to help you break down a complex skill into its components?
Resources for Further Learning: • •
The Inner Game of Tennis by Tim Gallwey (And other inner game books) Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi
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Awareness of Self and Others The Culture Iceberg
The culture iceberg is a very commonly used model and metaphor for describing the inherent complexity of intercultural understanding, communication, and identity. Intercultural competence is an essential skill for leadership and learning in the multicultural, global age we live in. The model shows that some things about cultures can be easily seen, such as Japanese people using chopsticks or taking off their shoes before entering the house. Many more aspects of culture, however, operate out of sight as unwritten rules or norms, often beyond our awareness. The part above the wave line can be thought of as surface culture, the parts below the wave as deeper culture. To take just one example of the complexities of deeper culture, many international students studying at U.S. universities see Americans as friendly and outgoing, at least initially. Americans are known for that! Students coming from a culture where people are usually more reluctant to speak to strangers, however, may interpret that friendliness as a signal that the person wants to be friends, when the intent of the American may be just to be nice (following American cultural norms for politeness). This can result in surprise or hurt feelings by the foreign student when another common American behavioral trait kicks in: the pretty strong sense of personal space and privacy that many of us have! Now flip the script. An American traveling broad may feel that people in a country are not very friendly and be quick to make judgments about that. Extreme discomfort with a new culture can result in culture shock. On the other hand, if she lives in that country for an extended time she will start to understand that culture’s norms, and may even start to feel that the new way of doing things is “normal” or “better.” When she returns to the U.S. she may experience stress with reentry, or reverse culture shock: assimilating back into American life may take time. 6
The culture iceberg is also used a lot in business circles to talk about what type of culture an organization has, both its written rules, as well as its unwritten norms. Every school, company, university, club, or other group of people has a unique organizational culture. We all also live in environments that are both constantly changing and also resistant to change. For example, a school or a company’s offices may seem brand new and impressive, but under the surface people might be stressed and unmotivated for various reasons, ranging from sales being down to bad management. On the other hand, a school may not look like much on the outside, but have a very strong, positive spirit and culture!
Your Johari Window
A Johari Window is a useful model for understanding the complexity of interpersonal as well as intercultural communication. It provides a model for how you can share more about yourself to deepen relationships and understanding, and also learn more deeply about the complexities of another person or group, including their cultural identity. It also shows the importance of not making assumptions! Quadrant 4 in the model above shows the biggest potential for miscommunication: where you lack awareness of some of your own behavior, and the person you are talking to also does not know it. Quadrant 1 shows the best potential for good communication, when an issue is out in the open and understood by all sides. For example, if you don’t like public speaking, and your teacher or boss knows that, he can provide you with training, and not throw you into an uncomfortable situation. Quadrant 3 is a reminder that we all have blind spots! That is why getting feedback from others and being aware of our own cultural assumptions, norms, and behavior is important. Quadrant 2 shows the importance of being appropriately transparent, sharing something about ourselves that may not be clear to others. For example, if you can’t focus very well in class unless you sit up front, let your teacher know that! Discussion Questions/Reflection: • • •
Have you ever changed schools, joined a new team or club at school, or started a new job? What was new or surprising for you about that new “culture”? Share an example of a cross-cultural misunderstanding you have experienced. How would you describe your own cultural identity?
Resources for Further Learning: Click here to learn more about intercultural competence! 7
Don’t Take It Personally!
This advice comes from best-selling Mexican author Don Miguel Ruiz (another one of his “four agreements” is “Don’t make assumptions!”). It is an easy one to learn, but very difficult to master! It is also a big part of emotional intelligence, which is another of the key ideas in this resource. Whether you are at home, school, or work, or just hanging out with friends, at any given moment you may encounter anger, meanness, poor decision-making, or some other type of drama from another person. It could be a friend, a parent, a teacher, or your boss. When this happens, the first two questions you need to ask yourself are: •
Did I contribute in any way to this problem? For example, if you just cursed at you friend or messed up at work, then you contributed to the drama! You may need to acknowledge your role and fix your part of the problem first.
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What am I doing right now to make this situation better or worse? If you are raising your voice or interrupting the person who is being dramatic, you are participating in escalating the conflict. On the other hand, if you are being appropriately nonreactive, just listening, acknowledging the other persons feelings and points, observing dispassionately, and speaking calmly, then you are helping deescalate the situation.
After you have done this check list, if you are still experiencing drama that is bringing you down or causing you stress, then the next thing to say to yourself is: Don’t take it personally! You can also come up with mental images that help you through challenging situations, such as the person in the drawing above visualizing an invisible wall to protect him from toxic anger! In fact, big companies like Starbucks spend a lot of time and money training their employees to be prepared for the inevitable rotten, mean customer, so that employees are mentally prepared to remain calm when bad things happen! Every person is complex. You never completely know what it is going on in someone else’s life, or in their head. Your teacher might have a headache, and is inappropriately taking his frustrations out on his students. Your boss may be stressed from something going on at home. Friends may act strangely for any number of reasons sometimes. If you are experiencing unhealthy drama, you may need to repeat this one to yourself several times a day! Smile! “Don’t take it personally!” It’s their drama, not yours. Discussion Questions/Reflection: •
Think about a recent time when someone’s behavior caused you emotional stress. How did you handle the situation? What would you do differently next time? What mental image(s) do you use to deflect stress and keep an “arm’s length” away from unhealthy drama?
Resources for Further Learning: The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz 8
The Gap
Is there a gap between what you would like to be doing, and what you are doing? Then close the gap! Is there a gap between your goals and dreams and your habits and actions? Is what you are actually doing not supporting where you want to go? Then fix the disconnect! Is there a gap between the person you want to be, and what you are actually doing in terms of your everyday behaviors at home and at school? Are you a good listener? Are you a good friend? Are you a great student? Do you want to be? Are you mindful about what you say to others? These are questions we all ask ourselves regularly… If there are gaps between who you want to be, and what you are actually doing and saying, then try to close the gaps! There is always some type of gap. It is impossible to be perfect. Even very famous successful companies like Apple or the best athletes like Lebron James make mistakes. In fact, the reason they are great is not because they are perfect, but because of how hard they work at getting better (combined with having talent and experience). Also, since circumstances of one kind or another are always changing, great performers know that they need to keep growing, adjusting, and recalibrating their goals and strategies, constantly striving to narrow gaps between goals and performance. We have 100 billion active neurons or brain-cells present when we are born, but each can sprout up to 20,000 branches or dendrites, which grow like trees to store information. Each cell transmits information by electrical impulses along an axon. And when it reaches the synaptic gap to another brain cell, the electrical impulse triggers a chemical reaction – a neurotransmitter which jumps across the gap to transfer the message. Summarized from The Learning Revolution, by Gordon Dryden and Jeannette Vos Some gaps are beneficial: they provide motivation and excitement to pull you forward to achieve success. Even famous musicians have butterflies before big performances. Think about the way your brain cells work using neurotransmitters to send information across synaptic gaps to create brain activity, generate memory, or spur you to jump out of the way of an oncoming car. Along with setting goals that are challenging, big, and audacious, it important to set micro goals that are reasonable and doable, so that you experience regular, specific successes that move you toward your bigger goals. For example, if you want to learn the periodic table in chemistry, or improve your free-throw shooting by 5–10%, those are very doable if you put your mind to it and practice hard. Having an appropriate goal that you also really care about will help you narrow the gap! Start noticing your own gaps, as well as those around you. If you hear people at school or work talk a lot about a goal, but there is no action or a game plan to achieve the goal, then there is a disconnect. For example, if the manger of a restaurant talks about how the company values customer service, but 9
he does not model or practice it, or provide training or demand high levels of customer service from his staff, the result will be frustration—and chances are his best employees will go work somewhere else! Try to narrow the gaps in regard to both your long-term goals and your short-term goals. For example, if you want to be a doctor, nurse, or teacher, develop an action plan to help you get there and monitor how closely your habits, actions, and investments of time, energy, and money are aligned with your goal. In addition, think about the “the gap” in terms of your daily or weekly micro goals. Whether you are preparing for a game, a concert, or a test at school, see how closely you can map your habits and actions to your goals. For example, if you know you need to study one hour a day at home for a week to do well on big test, notice and monitor if that is actually happening. If not: close the gap! Questions for Reflection/Discussion: • •
What is the most important long-term goal you have? Is there a gap between your goal—where you would like to be in 3–6 years–and what you are doing? What can you do to close the gap? What short-term goals do you have?
Resources for Further Learning: •
You are the resource. Draw a simple mind map or some type of diagram that helps you visualize your goal and your strategies for reaching your goal. Make your goal clear, concrete and actionable. State your goal on one side of the diagram, and note what you are doing to reach your goal on the other. Then, identify any gaps and add illustrations or doodles to help you visualize and remember your action plan!
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The Power of Habits!
Your beliefs become your thoughts, Your thoughts become your words, Your words become your actions, Your actions become your habits, Your habits become your values, Your values become your destiny. Mahatma Gandhi We become what we repeatedly do. Sean Covey Our habits are a much more powerful force than we realize! We have many thousands of habits at work throughout every part of the day, from the moment we wake up to the moment we go to bed. Many of those habits are beneficial and become automatic, doing what they are supposed to do for us, saving our mind/body energy for more important things. For example, hopefully you have the habit of putting on your seatbelt as soon as you get in the car! You just do it, without having to think. On the other hand, some habits are not just bad, they can be deadly: like texting and driving! However, many other habits we have may not be aligned or properly mapped to our short-term and long-term goals. One of the most important ingredients for success in school, life, and work is to pay close attention to your habits. If they are working well, facilitating good quality outcomes and high levels of performance, then keep doing what you are doing. On the other hand, keep in mind a common definition of insanity: doing the same things the same way and expecting different or better results! Are your study habits working for you? Do you have one or more quiet times and places in your day when you can really bear down, concentrate, and study effectively? If not, do a complete reevaluation of your study habits, examining every step of the process. Find the right time and place for you, and experiment with the right duration of study time. Pay very close attention to every detail. Do you have your cell phone right next to you when you study? If so, you will be distracted every time it buzzes. Try something different! Are you most effective studying in the morning? If so, try getting to bed earlier to create an extra 30 minutes of quality study time in the morning.
Do you have pets? Our cats and dogs (or any pet) pay extremely close attention to our habits! They are watching us all the time and know when we change our routines. Also, animals can teach us about the process of habit formation, which follows the cycle in the diagram above: cue, routine, reward. When you train a dog to “sit,” you are starting with a goal in mind. First, you provide a cue: “Sit!” You then associate a routine with that cue, which is the dog sitting properly (not fudging and half sitting or getting up and down). Finally, there is a reward for the dog, a little treat! Pretty soon the behavior becomes automatic and your dog will not even need the treat every time: the reward will become the good feeling of bonding and being able to communicate with each other. (By the way, at the same time you are training your dog, your dog is training you! By looking at you lovingly or with pity your dog gets rewards he/she wants, whether a pet, playtime, or a treat.) 11
In regard to both our good habits and bad habits, we have trained ourselves in a similar way. For example, a student may come home from school tired and grab a sugary soda or an adult may come home and start drinking beer first thing, before even walking the dog or properly greeting the family. If you want to create a new, better habit, you first need to realize that your old habits are extremely powerful! It is very easy to fall into the same old thing because our minds and bodies have been trained that way: we programmed ourselves. So if you want to replace a not-so-good habit with a better habit, you will need to override the programming of the old habit, replace it with new software! If you want to create a new, better habit, first carefully reflect on what behavior and outcome you want; then analyze your environment and create an effective plan to develop the new habit, carefully mapping your environment and your actions to your goal. You may need to experiment and make some adjustments at first. If you are successful, your new, positive habit will become automatic. Be realistic. Try to create sustainable habits. For example, if you want to start an exercise program, going from not exercising at all to doing it every day may not work. First try to do it 3–4 times a week without fail for a few months; that may be enough any way, giving you some days off to enjoy other parts of your life while still enjoying and looking forward to exercise time. Keep in mind that “reward” does not have to mean something unhealthy. After all, it is a common occurrence for people who start an exercise program to then start over-eating: they exaggerate the positive effect of the exercising in their mind and think it gives them a green light to eat more dessert! Of course you can make your reward something fun, like having a TV night the night after you study really hard. However, as you develop good habits, the reward you get is often just a good feeling. For example, as you learn to play an instrument, your reward is the confidence and fun of knowing how to play a song. Or, if you play sports, your cue could be something simple like leaving your tennis shoes out the night before, your reward the good feeling of playing a fun game with teammates/friends.
Great schools, organizations, and teams have good habits and routines that result in successful outcomes… High level performers, whether musicians, students, actors, athletes, scientists, or managers in a company pay very close attention to their habits and are constantly refining and improving them as needed. For example, the most famous basketball coach in history, John Wooden, who won many NCCA championships at UCLA, used to show his players on the first day of practice (many of whom went on to play in the NBA) how to correctly put their socks on and tie their shoes so they would not get blisters or turn their ankles. He knew the power of habits! Successful teams, schools, and organizations pay close attention to which habits work well, and which don’t. Questions for Reflection/Discussion:
What are some examples of good habits and bad habits that you have? What habits would you like to change? What is your game plan for doing that?
Resources for Further Learning • • •
The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business by Charles Duhigg 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens by Sean Covey Smart Thinking by Art Markman 12
Effort, Grit, and Growth
The only place Success comes before Work is in the dictionary. Lauren R. Donaldson (and, perhaps, many others) If a runner wins a track event, did she do well? It is certainly not bad to win a race! But was it a good performance for her? What if the winner ran seven seconds slower in the mile than her personal best and was basically coasting, while the woman who got second ran a personal best by five seconds? As many parents, teachers, and bosses know, it is generally better to emphasize and praise the importance of effort. Many kids—or, for that matter, people of all ages—have been told for years how “good” they are at something, whether as a singer, athlete, student, or artist, to the point that they think of themselves as “good” and start easing up in their own efforts to improve and get better. That’s a mistake, because according to the 10,000-hour rule, popularized by Malcolm Gladwell in the bestselling book Outliers, to be really good at something you have to not just put in the time and effort in deliberate, effective, and focused practice, you have to do so over a long period of time: try 10,000 hours! Whether it is exactly 10,000 hours or not, the point is that if you want to be an expert in a field or endeavor, you have to put in a significant amount of time spread out over months and even years. Think about what that means for you. The 10,000-hour rule shows that it takes long-term effort, commitment, and practice to be really good at something, which means setting priorities: there is only so much time in a day! Success demands not just effort, but also patience, perseverance, and grit. Grit is persevering through adversity (stick-to-it-iveness!) combined with passion for long-term goals that you care about. Have you got grit? Want to develop it as a skill? Click here to watch a TED Talk by an expert on grit, Angela Duckworth. As Duckworth points out, while grit operates over the long term, self-control is critical in the short term. Many studies have shown that the ability to be patient and delay gratification (have a measure of will power and self-control) has a strong correlation to long-term success! Did I win? Did I lose? Those are the wrong questions. The correct question is: Did I make my best effort? If so, you may be outscored but you will never lose. Becoming is better than being. Picture your brain forming new connections as you meet the challenge and learn. Keep on going. From Carol Dweck’s book Mindset: The New Psychology of Success; How We Can Learn to Fulfill Our Potential 13
Another hugely important—and easy-to-grasp—concept is having and developing a growth mindset. Carol Dweck’s fabulous and influential book Mindset: The New Psychology of Success; How We Can Learn to Fulfill Our Potential, can be boiled down to that two-word phrase: growth mindset. The opposite of a growth mindset is having a fixed mindset, which includes things like not wanting to try beyond your comfort zone, fear of failure, and not giving what you do your full, best effort. People who have a growth mindset are focused on learning, improving, and growing—throughout their lives. They embrace their mistakes (are motivated by them to do better next time), learn from their failures, and keep moving, growing, learning, and adjusting. Not only do people with a growth mindset have a better, more accurate knowledge about their strengths and weaknesses (a key aspect of effective learning!)—they also tend to be much more successful in reaching their potential. Ask yourself every day: Do I have a growth mindset? What would it mean to be doing this activity with a growth mindset? Develop it, and you will be happier and more fulfilled in life, living with fewer regrets. Also, deliberate, conscious effort focused on new challenges, a type of positive change you introduce into your own environment, is something you can and should make part of your practicing, training, and learning. (Change is one of the “Cs” in the E=MC2 formula at the end of this resource. When you challenge yourself, you create a strategic type of micro change designed to help you improve your performance.) Deliberate practice is where effort, grit, growth mindset, goal setting, concentration, habits, energy, and (positive) change all meet up. It is very common, for example, for a beginning guitar student who is learning a song to practice the easy parts of the song over and over, and avoid the new, difficult chord or difficult rhythmic part of the song that they really need to focus on. It is human nature for us to hold on tight to what is easy, and not spend the time we need to on the challenging part. The greatest rewards, however, lie in making what was once difficult easy—learning to play the whole song well. Questions for Discussion/Reflection • •
What do you want to be an expert at in your career? What do you want to be known for? What other skills do you want to be good at? Whether you want to be an expert guitar player, fluent in Chinese, or really good in soccer, what is your game plan for practicing?
Resource for Further Learning • • •
To learn more about Angela Duckworth’s research on grit and self-control, click here. You can also take a grit test! To learn about the famous “marshmallow test” of self-control in children click here. Check out these bulletin boards on Pinterest focused on Growth Mindset: http://www.pinterest.com/explore/growth-mindset/
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Emotional Intelligence
OK. Let’s get right to it! Emotional Intelligence (EI) is one of the most important concepts and practices there is. It is something we all have to practice every day, whether at home, school, or work. There is no such thing as mastering it: it takes constant vigilance. We all say or do things we regret at times. EI is about minimizing those occurrences and making sure they don’t escalate. EI is critical for success in the business world, talked about all the time by CEOs as one of the most important “soft skills.” If you consistently demonstrate a high level of EI you will be able to work with anyone effectively, even difficult people. (That doesn’t mean you will enjoy it! You just won’t let knuckleheads or mean people affect you and your performance.) Having EI will help you build a reputation for being a good employee and colleague: people will want to work with you and that will help you throughout your career. If you have low EI, people will walk the other way and not trust you when the pressure is on at work. And yes, that will cost you money and job opportunities over time. Here it is in a nutshell: EI is about not doing things that are not in your own self- interest, and also learning various skills that will help you be successful at doing things that achieve good outcomes for yourself and others! You have a bad teacher or boss. We all do sometimes. Get over it. The bad teacher is what he/she is. You can’t control their behavior. You can control yours. If you mouth off to your teacher and get suspended, that’s on you: you ended up hurting yourself. Notice that EI and blame are linked. It is important to get to the root of what is causing problems (and to understand who is involved and why the problems are occurring: learning is power). However, if you fall into the habit of blaming others (even when there is justification for that), you will end up having low EI. Focus on what you can control and success will follow you; you will be a leader and example to others. Another example… You mess up at home so your dad takes your cell phone away, which drives you crazy because your phone is your lifeline to your friends! Count to 10. Pay attention to what you say and do. If you escalate the situation, you might end up being grounded and losing your phone and driving privileges for a week. In short, be smart: try not to do things in life where you end up achieving the opposite of what you want! It doesn’t get any simpler than that. Even if a parent or your boss is being unfair, if you say or do something that makes your situation worse, what is the benefit in that? The good news is we can all get better at EI by studying it, working at it, and breaking it down into component parts. Take a look at the pieces of the jigsaw puzzle above! EI can help you succeed in many areas of your life, from decision making and learning to impulse control. 15
There is our old friend, the iceberg metaphor. In this case the iceberg could symbolize your performance in school or work. You are smart! We already know that. But do you have a high “EQ”? Having higher EI (or EQ) will help you weather the inevitable bad behavior you will encounter from a friend, teacher, coach, classmate, boss, or co-worker. It will make you more adaptable, better able to cope with stress and change, and less apt to fall into the trap of blaming others. Bottom line: don’t worry about what others do, as that is mostly out of your control. And remember, if you let negative emotions like anger get ahold of you they can be toxic and make you sick—you will just end up hurting yourself. Keep your eyes on the prize, such as making the varsity team even though your coach is not that great, graduating with honors even though you are not the teacher’s favorite student, or holding on to your current job until you can get a better one. Practice EI and you will have consistent success in life, and also be happier! Questions for Reflection/Discussion: • • •
Think about a time at home, work, or school when you encountered a difficult circumstance and responded in an emotionally intelligent way. What did you do that was successful? Think about a time when, looking back, you realize you had low EI (lost your cool). What did you do or say? What would you do differently next time? What situations tend to set you off (get you all riled up)? What strategies work for you to help you keep your cool under pressure and not get caught up in drama when it happens?
Resources for Further Learning: •
Click here to learn more about emotional intelligence from Daniel Goleman, including about his groundbreaking book on the subject Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ.
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The E=MC2 Formula for Staying Focused on Your Goals and Maximizing Positive Energy
E=MC2 is an easy-to-remember formula for maintaining positive energy, staying focused on your goals, responding to change, and putting yourself in position to make good decisions.
E stands for energy.
Notice, monitor, build on, and respond to your energy level. Energy is like a wave, going in cycles of intensive energy use, followed by rest. We often forget to rest!
= stands for equilibrium: having a clear, open mind, staying balanced, being unbiased, and keeping your ego in check (not letting things get to you, one way or the other). Don’t take it personally!
M stands for mindfulness: basic awareness of self, others, and your environment.
Related concepts are mind and body awareness, concentration, and flow. Focus on one thing at a time!
C2 stands for change and complexity, two basic realities of life in and around us. Many problems occur when people think they are dealing with a simple problem that is actually complex! Also, dealing with ambiguity and being nimble and flexible in response to change are essential skills. *Formula use, descriptions, and graphics developed and written by John Donaldson (June 2014). E=MC2 is a four-quadrant formula (borrowed from Einstein!) to help you stay focused on the positive energy side of life. Before learning more about E=MC2, here is additional information on this type of mnemonic device for personal success—and a chance for you to develop your own formula or acronym! There are an infinite number of formulas for success used throughout the ages. A good formula or acronym for self-improvement should be memorable (a mnemonic device), meaningful, and helpful, focused on core, useful principles and practices tied to proven outcomes that work for you! Here is an example of a commonly used acronym for goal setting. Instead of having any old goal, use the mnemonic acronym SMART! SMART goals are:
S M A R T
Specific Measureable Achievable (and/or Actionable) Relevant (and/or Realistic) Timely (or Time-bound or Timed) 17
There are other ways to develop a personal success mnemonic. For example, best-selling authors Matt Weinstein and Luke Barber used a rhyming song we all know in their book: Gently Down the Stream: 4 Unforgettable Keys to Success. If you ever feel stressed, here is a nice little mnemonic for you: Row, row, row, your boat Don’t just sit there; do something! Think like a happy kid. You are not alone (row together). Gently down the stream Chill! Be flexible, as the current is always changing. Let it go. Flow like water. Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily Lighten up. Laugh out loud. Have fun. Be outrageous. Life is but a dream. Every day we make choices with our actions, words, behaviors, and habits: choose to make your life a dream (not a nightmare)! Keep it simple. Follow a path you really love. What works for you? Develop your own formula, acronym, rhyme, and/or diagram for personal success!
Your Turn! Develop Your Own Mnemonic Device for Success •
Think carefully about what works for you in life. What keeps you focused and on an even keel?
•
Identify key words and concepts that resonate for you, then develop your own acronym or formula (or poem or song)! Take your time with it. Play around with different ideas, maybe for a few days or even weeks. If you develop something that sticks and works for you then you are on to something!
•
Try to come up with a visual representation of your personal success formula or acronym in the form of a diagram, drawing, or symbol. Pictures speak a thousand words–and are memorable!
•
If it works for you, don’t forget to share it with others!
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Start With Your Goals (Beautiful Places)
The small circle or bulls-eye in the middle of the E=MC2 circle diagram represents your goals as well as your unique vision of the future. •
Where do you want to go?
•
Who do you want to be?
•
What are your long-term career and learning goals?
•
What near-term learning or performance goals do you have?
Think of the bulls-eye as full of thousands—or even millions–of beautiful places representing where you want to go and who you want to be in the world. “Beautiful places” can be •
Actual beautiful places you have been to or would like to visit like the Grand Canyon or Hawaii.
•
Mythical places you create with your imagination (some people turn those into movies and make a lot of money, like James Cameron with Avatar!).
•
Personal places that bring back warm memories for you like your grandparents’ house with all its favorite and familiar sights, sounds, tastes, smells, and good, supporting relationships.
•
Great memories you have when you did really well at something (a past peak performance).
•
Positive energy states, aspirations, or cool ways of being in the world (many ending in ing) such as graduating, listening, swimming, singing, concentrating…or happiness, laughter, confidence, friends, etc.—whatever positive words come to mind for you!
Now brainstorm in reverse: think of uncomfortable or negative words, concepts, places, or states of being—where you would rather not go there–like pollution, freezing cold, anger, sadness, lying, doubt, anxiety, bullying, etc. Yuck. Those exist too, on the flip side of the bulls-eye. They are the other side of the coin. While we don’t want to linger in negative places, they exist in the world and also serve as teachers to guide us back to better places. They help us know we are on the wrong path. Action item: Make a list of as many goals and beautiful places as you can… The key to success is to focus our conscious mind on things we desire not things we fear. Brian Tracy Start with the end in mind. Sean Covey
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E Stands for Energy (The Power of Full Engagement–and Rest)
E is for Energy. The numeric representation is 1 and 0. The symbol is the wave, representing how energy has peaks and valleys.
1 0 1 0 Computers run the world, but they wouldn’t if it were not for the simple binary system of 1 and 0 in their code, symbolizing micro-level on and off electrical switches, millions of them. Think of 1 as on, energy flowing, and 0 as off, the zero or resting state. Specifically, think of 1 and 0 as intensive, focused energy, followed by rest, as described in an excellent best-selling book by Jim Loehr and Tony Schwartz: The Power of Full Engagement: Managing Energy, Not Time, Is the Key to High Performance and Personal Renewal. The title says it all: we tend to spend too much time worrying about what time it is or how long something takes. We spend too little time monitoring our energy level. As the authors point out, elite athletes (and performers in any endeavor) succeed because they very intensively focus their energy, then rest. Intensive effort, then rest. We often forget to rest! Elite performers know how to train using hard practice days, followed by easier, recovery days. They also know how to take micro rests. The authors show how sometimes the only thing separating a group of top-level performers, like world class tennis players, is their ability to calm their mind and relax their bodies, even if just for a few seconds before playing the next shot. Needless to say, that can make the difference between winning and losing championships given the stress and tension of long games or matches! But you don’t have to be Tiger Woods, Roger Federer, or a famous singer who does big concerts to practice taking short rests. Tomorrow at school or work monitor your energy level throughout the day, including paying attention to dips in energy mid-morning when you may need a small snack or a glass of water (dehydration will sap your energy right away; many sports events have been lost from that alone). Stay aware of your energy level when you are studying intensively. If you have been at it hard for 25 or 90 minutes, you will probably start to drag; your mind will wander. Succeeding in college is all about learning how to really concentrate and focus–and knowing when to take breaks. (Focused vs. diffused learning—the beautiful thing is that your mind will keep learning and working on the problem, in a relaxed, diffused way, even while you take a break to walk around for a few minutes. When you get back to “work,” not only will you be refreshed, you will often have a key breakthrough or insight as well.) If you are really stressed and exhausted take a few minutes to have a deeper rest to recharge your batteries. Try the “corpse” yoga position, which has been around a few thousand years. It is great for relieving tension (and headaches)! Go to a quiet, dark room, lay on your back flat on the floor, and do nothing at all (no earphones or pillow). Let the blood flow even out in your body and do nothing for 15– 20 minutes, just notice your breathing (or sounds, or where there is tension in your body), and practice deeper breathing . (The author learned it in college, as many students do!) It works wonders. It is a good practice to do throughout your life anytime you need to refresh your energy. Pay attention to your energy level every day, and throughout the day. Notice if your energy level is good, average, or low. If your energy is falling off, take a break. Don’t forget to rest! (And sleep.) 20
= Stands for Equilibrium (Staying Balanced, With an Open and Clear Mind)
=
is for Equilibrium. The numeric representation is 0 signifying an open mind, and being calm
and relaxed, having zero (or as few as possible) negative (or otherwise unhelpful) thoughts in your head. The graphic representation is a person feeling balanced, with a clear head. The person below is not burdened by anything. He is paying attention, but also ready to go with the flow!
A skier starts thinking he is king of the hill…While he is not bad, the concept that he is really good creeps into his thinking. We call it getting a big head, and what happens next! He stops paying attention to what is happening around him as he races at high speed down the slopes and—crash. A woman is about to give a speech. She starts to think to herself “I’m no good at public speaking.” Doubt starts creeping into her head…Either way, whether having a big ego, or letting doubt eat away at your natural confidence in life, the performance of these two people suffers because they have a lot of chatter in their heads that starts clouding their judgment and literally reducing their field of vision. That is why we call people who are biased narrow or small-minded: their pre-judging of situations has reduced their capacity to be open-minded and clear-headed! You can also think about equilibrium as staying balanced, nimble, and flexible, not being easily knocked off your feet and not reacting or overreacting when you encounter other peoples’ drama. Remember the earlier section in these materials: Don’t take it personally! If you let things get to you your mind will fill up quickly with all kinds of stuff that won’t help you get to where you want to go. Regularly ask yourself if the “story” you are telling yourself (for example “I’m not a good public speaker” or “I’m bad at math” or “My teacher/friend doesn’t like me”) is true. If you relax and calm your mind, you will notice that you are more or less like everybody else: maybe you won’t be great at math, but you can do it! Also, perhaps a big part of the gridlock and dysfunction in politics and the media in our country today has to do with too many leaders being convinced they are 100% right. If one side or the other thinks the other side is completely wrong, then they will stop listening and they won’t notice openings in the conversation that could lead to finding common ground on key issues. Being closed-minded is not a very useful strategy for getting things done with others! If you are only willing to move in one direction, your options are limited. For example, if you are playing defense in basketball and only able to move to the left, or the right, you will be a lousy defender, unable to react to the flow of the game. If you are driving and find your mind filling with worries about school, anger at another driver, or curiosity about who just texted you, your mind won’t be on your driving: a recipe for trouble. Clear your mind and focus on the road, and you will be happier–and safer. Relaxing your mind will also help you with the next item in the E=MC2 formula (mindfulness): focusing on one thing at a time! What helps you stay balanced, flexible, clear-headed, and open-minded? Take time to notice throughout each day if you are in equilibrium, or not. If you find yourself getting off track, just noticing the chatter going on in your head (we all have it!) will help you adjust, and regain your balance. Find ways that work for you to clear your mind, and regain your natural equilibrium. 21
M Stands for Mindfulness (Awareness, Concentration, and Flow)
M is for Mindfulness. The numeric representation is 1, a reminder that you will do your best work if you focus on one thing at a time! The graphic representation is a seagull flying, just flying, in the zone, the flow state of relaxed concentration.
Remember, brain research shows that there is no such thing as multitasking. True, there can be many things going on at the same time. For example, for a star striker in soccer on a corner kick, he is moving his body, noticing the position of the defenders and the goalie, dealing with a sore knee wondering if he can jump as high as he would like, and participating in a high-pressure moment with thousands of people watching him. But if he takes his eye off the ball coming in from the corner at the key moment he won’t make a goal. Watching the ball trumps all other tasks at that spilt second that the ball arrives. You could also say that the seagull above is doing a bunch of things at the same time–looking down for fish, adjusting his wings, etc. But in reality, the seagull’s awareness, focus, concentration, and mindfulness, will be primarily on only one thing at a time. For example, if an aggressive hawk is bearing down on him from above, ready to plow into the seagull with his beak, that new awareness trumps everything. Thankfully, right now he is just enjoying the simple act of flying. He is in the zone of relaxed concentration, flowing, just enjoying the moment, feeling the wind and the warm sun: however, because he is relaxed, he is ready, just like a great martial artist, to react instantly if anything happens. Research shows that “multitasking” makes us less effective. Mindfulness is the primary anecdote for what is all too common these days: people being heavily distracted. That is why corporate America (which is concerned about job performance) is talking about it a lot these days as another key soft skill! Mindfulness means being aware of yourself, others, and your environment. When you break it down, there is actually a lot going on from moment to moment, even if you are just sitting there eating a peanut butter and jelly sandwich! Mindfulness is about taking in, without judgment, what is happening, like noticing that your stomach is growling (Oh, I’m hungry), then noticing the next moment that your friend looks really sad for some reason (I wonder why?). Things are constantly changing around us. New sounds and sensations, new things happening, people coming and going. Having awareness is very important, not only for success in work–like a waiter noticing the customer wants the check!–but also, like the seagull and the hawk (or if you are driving), for survival. Fortunately, there are many different ways to practice and improve mindfulness, awareness, and concentration, including paying attention to your concentration diagram (the first item in this resource), practicing meditation, getting enough rest, relaxing your breathing, noticing when you are getting tense or angry, and staying active doing positive activities you enjoy. Find out what the right mix is for you!
Activity: Take the multitask challenge!
Experiment for yourself. Try a day where you purposefully multitask on everything you do! Don’t do just one thing at a time. If you are studying, turn on the TV, text your friends, eat some food, etc. No matter what, force yourself to multitask. See how it goes. Take notes on what you experience. On day two, do the reverse! All day long try to focus on only one thing at a time (it is not easy to do). Keep experimenting, and keep a journal. 22
C2 Stands for Complexity/Change (Understand What’s Happening; Stay Flexible)
C2 is for complexity and change.
The numeric representation is the math sign for infinity . The graphic representation is the constantly changing complexity of the universe and all that is in it, the sun, moon, stars, wind, rain (or whatever picture of complexity and change comes to mind for you)…
Things are constantly changing around us. If you don’t notice important changes, you are likely to run into trouble. For example, the point guard for a basketball team is having good success on offense. She and her team are having their way with their opponent, which is playing man-to-man defense. Suddenly, the other team switches to a zone defense. If the point guard does not recognize that right away, she and her teammates will likely commit a turnover. Once she notices the change, she knows exactly what to do. She calls out to her teammates “zone!” Her team shifts their plays to attack the zone, and they become an effective team again. Playing basketball is pretty simple, however, compared to bigger, more complex changes going on around us all the time. A quick and common recipe for disaster is when people think they are dealing with a simple problem that is actually highly complex! On the other hand, if a group, whether in a company, university, or the Congress, has a collective understanding that the problem they are trying to address is complex and changing (what is sometimes called a wicked problem, such as global warming or the national debt), they will be better able to share diverse perspectives on the problem (also called listening), identify the real problem (often not that simple), analyze what they know and don’t know, and roll up their sleeves to try something with a shared purpose or goal in mind. Also, when dealing with change and complexity, being able to handle some ambiguity and being nimble and flexible in response to change are essential skills. Ambiguity is that unsettling feeling like you are falling and don’t know where or how you will land. It comes up at school when you realize you don’t understand a new concept or at home or work when a situation or project is unresolved. Some people are wired to be more comfortable with ambiguity, while others might freak out in certain situations if everything is not nailed down. However, all of us can get better at dealing with ambiguity with practice, starting with recognizing when a complex change is occurring (we usually start feeling stressed). Being nimble and flexible is important for leaders, organizations, and nations! If a business opportunity or a threat emerges, you have to move quickly. If a nation faces an economic, military, or environmental crisis, leaders, as well as ordinary citizens, have to react. If there is a major change to your health, job situation, or an important relationship in your life, the sooner you are aware of the nature of the change, and how it is affecting you and others, the better you will be able to be flexible, focused, and make appropriate, effective adjustments (instead of over or under reacting). What changes are going on in your life now? Change happens. It can be slow and easy, or abrupt and painful. Be good to yourself. Keep your eyes open, and stay flexible. Go with the flow–and have fun!
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Putting It Together (How the 8 Ideas Relate to Each Other): Recap Quiz
Texting and driving…This driver ended up in a lake. What is the relationship between “multitasking” and awareness (or concentration)?
This guy may be concentrating…But is he being mindful?
Awareness, energy, concentration, mindfulness, the power of habits, emotional intelligence, setting appropriate goals and closing the gaps (between your goals and your performance), responding to change and complexity, maintaining your equilibrium, developing a growth mindset—the ideas highlighted in this resource are fundamental to success in life, learning, and leadership. They also are very interrelated. Success in one of these areas will facilitate success in other key areas (and the reverse is true as well). Take a moment to take a short recap quiz! Think about each question for a minute, reflecting on your own life experiences. Then, see the answers/comments on the next page.
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Recap Quiz Questions: 1. When you have a poor energy level, what happens to your concentration? 2. When your energy level is good, and you are feeling in equilibrium (pretty balanced, with a clear head), are you able to be more or less mindful and aware of yourself and others? 3. How does someone with a growth mindset react when they experience a setback (a negative change in their environment)? 4. A man has a low level of emotional intelligence at work…Everyone knows it but him. Which quadrant does that put him in in the Johari Window? 5. A foreigner eating in a restaurant in Japan sticks his chopsticks straight down into his rice bowl to rest them there for a minute while he sips his drink. The waiter comes over, upset, waving his hand back and forth in a gesture that says “No, don’t do that.” Relate this story to the culture iceberg. 6. A person has the bad habit of procrastination at work or school, even on projects or assignments that he/she is really interested in and cares about. Where is the “the gap” in this situation? How does procrastination impact his/her energy and equilibrium levels? 7. In your own words, why do you think it is that pretty much every world record ever set, and the vast majority of peak performances in any endeavor (from singing to public speaking) registered high up on the “relaxed concentration” and “flow” scale? 8. Your best friend had a tough, emotionally upsetting day and really wants to talk with you about it…You are trying to listen (you want to), but you are also fingering your cell phone in your pocket, sitting sideways to your friend on the couch, and glancing regularly at the TV that is in the corner of your eye, behind your friend. What does your concentration diagram look like? What can you do about it? 9. What type of “multitasking” is a good thing? 10. A man is pretty mindful, has an OK energy level, and feels his life is in equilibrium (balanced); he also reports that he has experienced very little change or complexity in his life for years…Does he have a growth mindset? How would you rate him on the effort and grit scale? 11. A woman is training for a big race and trains hard every day. She pushes herself mercilessly to go faster, harder, and further. But her performances are falling off…Her energy level is not only low, she is also fighting nagging injuries on a regular basis—and often feeling unmotivated to train. A student is studying nonstop for a math exam and to finish his term paper in English. He is working incredibly hard, and is increasingly annoyed that his constant effort doesn’t seem to be helping him master tough problems, or get through the writer’s block he is experiencing. He is exhausted and frustrated. What are they forgetting to do? 25
Recap Quiz Answers/Comments: 1. When you have a low energy level, your concentration will start falling off.
energy
concentration low energy leads to falling concentration = sub par performance
That is why ultra-marathon runners have to keep drinking water and eating during races. In extreme wilderness survival situations, a person’s awareness and concentration may deteriorate to the point that he/she starts hallucinating. Monitor your energy level every day, throughout the day; notice the peaks and valleys, what is causing you stress, or if you are getting hungry, dehydrated, or tired. 2. When your energy and equilibrium levels are good, you will be more mindful and aware of yourself and others.
Energy
Equilibrium
More Mindful
Want to be a good friend? A good student? Want to maximize your performance at work? Pay attention to your energy level. Make sure you do your most demanding tasks when you are fresh. Having positive energy is like having savings in your bank account: when change happens, like a sudden crisis in your family or at work, you will be more adaptable and able to meet challenges if you are on the plus side in terms of energy. On the other hand, if you are feeling “out of whack” (imbalanced, and not aware of it), even a minor setback could knock you off your feet. 26
3. People who have a growth mindset tend to see setbacks, and even “failures,” as opportunities.
Turn a setback...
Into a Transformation
We all make mistakes and experiences setbacks, large and small. People who have a fixed mindset tend to avoid risks and fear failure (they may even be getting A’s in class, but their focus is on maintaining their status, not challenging themselves to learn more deeply). People with a growth mindset learn from their mistakes; they use setbacks as motivation to figure out how to do better next time. With a growth mindset, you can transform negatives into positives, and be a “winner” more often because you benchmark your performance to the right (high) standards and goals, focusing your efforts on continuous improvement and growth based on accurate feedback on how you are doing. 4. The man who has a low level of emotional intelligence at work—and everybody knows it but him—is in quadrant #3 in the Johari Window…
He has a blind spot. Others can see it, but he can’t. He could benefit from greater self-awareness and feedback from others. After all, he may want to succeed at work, but doesn’t see (have awareness of) the big gap between his goal and his actions. It is also possible that he is the type who falls into the worst of all habits, blaming others rather than taking full responsibility for what he is saying and doing. 5. Some aspects of culture operate at a deeper level, below the surface… Everyone knows that Japanese people use chopsticks (most of the time) during meals. That is an aspect of surface-level culture that is easy to see. However, sticking your chopsticks into a bowl of 27
rice is symbolic of a funeral offering--something you just don’t do in Japan. That is an aspect of deeper culture, a specific custom operating below the surface of the culture iceberg water line that you would only know if you grow up in Japanese society or read/study about it.
Do not stick your chopsticks upright in your rice Because in Japan that is the way a bowl of rice is offered to the spirit of a dead person, at their deathbed or in front of their photograph on the household altar.
6. This procrastinator has a gap between his goal (desired outcome) and his actions…Procrastination also builds up negative energy—and leads to subpar performance. If there is a gap or disconnect between what you want and what you are doing, close the gap! Procrastination is one of the worst things you can do if you want to have an optimal performance in writing, math, sports, music—pretty much anything. The more you space out your practice time over days/months/years, the more you will develop good habits that become ingrained (second nature) and the more you will be able to see your mistakes clearly and correct them (something that saves lives when it comes to training doctors or pilots). In fact, as pointed out in Barbara Oakley’s excellent book A Mind For Numbers: How to Excel at Math and Science (Even If You Flunked Algebra), one of the most important ways to learn STEM fields is to go back and forth over time between focused thinking or problem solving (concentrating on the problem for say 25 intensive minutes) and diffused thinking (taking a break). Your mind will continue to work on the problem when you are taking a break, or sleeping. Quite often, the solution will present itself after you step away from the problem for a while—but only if you give the process sufficient attention and commitment over a period of time.
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Got writers block? Stumped by a tough math problem? Go for a walk, or resume your efforts tomorrow morning. Procrastination reduces your window of opportunity for deeper, effective creativity and learning. By spacing out your learning and problem solving over time, learning will stick better (reference: Make It Stick: The Science of Successful Learning, by Brown, Roediger III, and McDaniel). You will also reduce the likelihood of errors and poor performance. Not to mention procrastination causes emotional stress and physical duress—cramming (pulling “all-nighters”) is not fun and leaves you with the bad, nagging feeling of knowing that you are not doing your best work. 7. Review the quote and paragraph on relaxed concentration and flow on page 4…
Almost by definition, when you have your best performance in any endeavor, it will tend to look and feel good…It may be incredibly challenging and difficult, even exhausting, but relative to your worst performances, it will be a great feeling of being “in the zone,” concentrating well. You will be in and out of some type of flow state that makes you look back and smile. In contrast, when you look back on your worst performances, whether in sports, public speaking, taking a test, or on the job, you will probably remember some type of awful, sinking, painful feeling that it just wasn’t your day…During great athletic performances, athletes report being able to see the whole field; things slow down, and they see connections more clearly. In the team sport of rowing, they call it swing, that valued-added, magical feeling when the members of a crew become one with each other, their boat, and the water. (It’s what wins championships, separating one boat from the others. Reference: The Boys in the Boat: Nine Americans and Their Epic Quest for Gold at the 1936 Berlin Olympics, by Daniel Brown.) When you are not in the flow, you will feel tense, nervous, or drained, and have enormous blind spots like the quarterback who is not able to see the wide open receiver and throws a horrible interception, not noticing the defender right there in front of him that everyone in the stadium can see. When a band that has played together a long time is making technically correct, subjectively beautiful music, taking it to the next level in a live performance, they are in the flow state, in the zone. When another band is thrown together, doesn’t have time to practice, and is not in sync (just not feeling it), everyone in the group—and the audience—knows it.
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8. Your concentration diagram in this case would show that you are heavily distracted: you are only partially listening, or more accurately, you are listening on and off as your attention switches back and forth between various distractions, the TV, your phone, the awkward body position you have sitting on the couch… Once you become aware that you are not giving your friend your full attention you have a choice. If you truly are not able to be a friend at that moment, then deal with what you need to and come back when you can focus on listening (if you have an urgent item going on yourself at that moment you may need to reschedule a time to talk that works for both of you). Or, in this case, take action: turn off the TV, silence your phone or put it somewhere else in the room, and adjust your body position to show that you are listening, giving your full attention (and so that your own body is more comfortable).
Learn how to do one thing at a time, and do it well. Relax your mind. Learn how to focus and concentrate. Be mindful. These are perhaps the most fundamental skills in life and learning. When you are listening, know that you are listening. 9. Having multiple skill sets—that is a good thing. Also, having multiple tasks you have to do can be a good thing—it means you are capable enough to handle a number of assignments, and that you stay busy and active. There is a lot of confusion about “multitasking.” It is good to have diverse, multiple skill sets. That means you can do different things, such as knowing how to cook and how to make repairs around the house, or that you are a good project manager, public speaker, and supervisor in your job. That makes you valuable at work. As brain science shows, however, multitasking while trying to do a particular task is generally a bad idea: you will do your best work (and reduce your stress load) when you focus on one thing at time, while remaining mindful of yourself and your surroundings given the reality of constant change in and around us. (True, most things in life when you break it down, whether playing the piano or catching a baseball, have a high degree of complexity. But that is all the more reason why it is important to know what to pay attention to from moment to moment, and not get easily distracted by what is not important, or less important.)
Having multiple skill sets. That’s a good thing. “Multitasking” when you really need to be giving something your full attention. That’s problematic. 30
Switching from task to task, you think you're actually paying attention to everything around you at the same time. But you're actually not. You're not paying attention to one or two things simultaneously, but switching between them very rapidly. Earl Miller, Neuroscientist People who are talking on or playing with their cell phone while driving have a slower reaction time…If by “multitasking” you mean that you think you can talk to someone on the phone effectively (with full engagement, giving them the gift of your attention) while typing, listening to music, and regularly glancing at a TV show—give it up. You can’t. While some forms of “multitasking” might seem cute, or even (admittedly!) be fun and provide comedic relief for a few minutes, the bottom line is that it is a bad habit if you do it a lot and aren’t aware of how distracted you are, especially if the activity you are doing is important. In some professions, as with doctors or soldiers, being easily distracted (not knowing how and when to be mindful and focused) can be fatal to self or others. 10. This man seems to have a fixed mindset. He has experienced very little change or new complexity in his life and seems to like it that way. He is low on the growth mindset, effort, and grit scale. Change is part of life. Nothing stays the same forever. A man has a good job for years, and suddenly finds himself unemployed due to complex changes that are underway in his company and the economy around him. Someone who has cultivated a growth mindset over the years, by learning, growing, and diversifying his/her skill sets and developing grit, resilience, and emotional intelligence, will be in a better position to deal with this type of horrible setback when it occurs.
Think about the E=MC2 formula. If everything has been perfectly balanced in your life for days, months, or years, with little or no change, maybe you could benefit from challenging yourself a bit more at school or work, or in your pursuit of learning a new skill, or in your relationships. The path to having more energy, is by having periods of appropriately, intensively focused energy and concentration (the power of full engagement) on an endeavor (probing areas of yourself you haven’t discovered), followed by rest and recovery. (That is why lying in bed all the time rapidly reduces your energy level—too much of the wrong kind of rest, too little stimulation—while getting regular exercise increases your energy level and brain functioning.) If you don’t keep setting goals, both big ones and deliberate (next-step) micro goals, you won’t truly be learning, growing, and improving your performance, and your energy level and skill sets will stay the same, or atrophy.
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11. They are forgetting the importance of rest.
Music would not be music without rhythm and rests… As noted on page 20, energy comes in waves, with peaks and valleys. Rest is critical to successful performance. “The Power of Full Engagement” (as the book of that title explains) means learning how to train your mind, body, and spirit to have intensive, productive, effective concentrated effort—followed by strategically planned breaks, rest, and recovery. In addition, as noted in the answer to number 6, above, your mind and your body are doing things during the “rest” phase that are setting up and making possible your next success. You could also look at it as celebrating the little victories along the way, and having a balanced life. A company or a school where the culture is to jump straight from one crisis or problem to the next, with little pausing for reflection or rest (to take a few moments to step off the treadmill), wouldn’t be a very fun place to work or study! Maintain a good life/work/study balance. Have a sense of humor! And don’t forget to play (cultivate joy).
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Author’s Note and Follow-Up Learning Activity I’d rather know some of the questions than all of the answers. James Thurber
These resources were researched and written in 2014 by John Donaldson Alexandria, Virginia
[email protected]
Author’s Note: I learned about the concentration diagram (the first item in this resource) my freshman year from one of several gifted teachers I had at my community college in Bend, Oregon. The concept of the inner game helped me right away to focus better in school, sports, life, and work, so I am happy to share it here! I enjoyed experiencing, researching, and writing about the eight key ideas in this resource. I learned about them from a variety of sources, including my travels in 41 countries, studies at four colleges in four states on my way to a couple masters’ degrees (in teaching and organizational learning), work experience over 30 years (teaching and managing diverse programs), reading books, attending or organizing conferences throughout the U.S. and worldwide, and engaging in a lot of conversations along the way. My formative experiences include being a runner and being frequently humbled over the years trying to learn new skills like languages and how to play music. I also worked at a salmon cannery in Alaska for three summers and was a resident assistant in a college dorm. Finally, I am grateful for all that I have learned from my family and the many different types of teachers I’ve had along the way.
Follow-Up Learning Activity • •
Which of the ideas in this resource interest you the most? Why? Which of these ideas do you think are “strengths” for you? Which ones do you need to work on the most? Within the next few days, talk with someone you know about two or more of the ideas in these materials. For example, try to define mindfulness or emotional intelligence in your own words. 33
