Grade 8 Writing Item/Scoring Sampler - Portal.state.pa.us

The Pennsylvania System of School Assessment

2006 – 2007

Writing Item and Scoring Sampler Grade 8 Pennsylvania Department of Education Bureau of Assessment and Accountability 2006–2007

TABLE OF CONTENTS Introduction ........................................................................................................ 4 Embedded-Error Passages and Multiple‑Choice Items: General Information ... 5 Sample Passage 1 with Multiple‑Choice Items .................................................. 6 Sample Passage 2 with Multiple‑Choice Items .................................................. 8 Sample Passage 3 with Multiple‑Choice Items .................................................. 10 Writing Prompts: General Information .............................................................. 13 Informational Scoring Guideline . ...................................................................... 14 Informational Writing Prompt . .......................................................................... 15 Informational Writing Prompt Student Responses . ........................................... 16 Persuasive Scoring Guideline . ........................................................................... 23 Persuasive Writing Prompt . ............................................................................... 24 Persuasive Writing Prompt Student Responses . ................................................ 25 Conventions Scoring Guideline . ........................................................................ 33 Conventions Student Responses . ....................................................................... 34

Grade 8 Writing Item Sampler 2006–2007

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Writing Item and Scoring Sampler General Introduction The Department of Education provides districts and schools with tools to assist in delivering focused instructional programs aligned to the state assessment system. These tools include academic standards documents, specifics of the assessment, and content-based item and scoring samplers. This 2006–2007 Writing Item and Scoring Sampler is a useful tool for Pennsylvania educators in the preparation of local instructional programs and for the statewide PSSA assessments.

What Is Included This item and scoring sampler contains multiple‑choice items (based on embedded-error passages) and writing prompts that were used in both the 2005 and 2006 PSSA Writing Assessments. These items and prompts are representative of the types of items and prompts that will appear on the operational 2007 PSSA Writing Assessment. Each item has been through a rigorous review process and is aligned to the state standards.

Purpose and Uses The items and writing prompts in this sampler may be used as examples for creating assessment items at the classroom level, and they may also be copied and used as part of a local instructional program.* Classroom teachers may find it beneficial to have students respond to the prompts in the sampler. Educators can then use the sampler as a guide to score the responses either independently or with colleagues within a school or a district.

Item Format and Scoring Guidelines Each multiple‑choice item has four answer choices and is connected to an embedded‑error passage. A correct response to each multiple-choice item is worth one point. The writing prompts are designed to take about sixty minutes to complete. However, during an actual testing event, students are given additional time as necessary to complete their responses. The writing prompts are scored with both a 1–4 scale mode-specific scoring guideline and with a 1–4 scale conventions scoring guideline. The mode‑specific scoring guidelines presented within this sampler were used to score each respective prompt. Actual (transcribed) student responses are used as samples to represent each score point.

* The permission to copy and/or use these materials does not extend to commercial purposes.


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EMBEDDED-ERROR PASSAGES AND MULTIPLE-CHOICE ITEMS: GENERAL INFORMATION The purpose of the passages and multiple-choice items is to assess students’ abilities to revise and edit written text. Each correct response is worth one point. These multiple-choice items reflect Pennsylvania Academic Standards–Quality of Writing–1.5.8.E and 1.5.8.F.

1.5.8.E Revise writing after rethinking logic of organization and rechecking central idea, content, paragraph development, level of detail, style, tone, and word choice.

1.5.8.F Edit writing using the conventions of language. •

Spell common, frequently used words correctly.

•

Use capital letters correctly.

•

Punctuate correctly (periods, exclamation points, question marks, commas, quotation marks, apostrophes, colons, semicolons, parentheses).

•

Use nouns, pronouns, verbs, adjectives, adverbs, conjunctions, prepositions, and interjections properly.

•

Use complete sentences (simple, compound, complex, declarative, interrogative, exclamatory, and imperative).

SAMPLE PASSAGES AND ITEMS There are three embedded-error passages in this sampler. Each is followed by a set of four multiple‑choice items. Each item is preceded by a standards notation and followed by an annotation that provides additional explanation or clarification. A correct answer is indicated by an asterisk.


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WRITING Sample Passage 1

Read the passage below and then answer questions 1–4. 1 Can

you imagine digging in your yard and finding one of the most significant archaeological discoveries of the twentieth century? 2 A group of farmers was digging a well in 1974 when they discovered chambers filled with life-sized pottery soldiers made for Emperor Qin Shi Huang almost 2,200 years earlier. 3 These figures were made of clay and fired in kilns in nearby villages. 4 Kilns heated to 900°C were used to “fire” or bake the figures to maintain an even thickness and to harden the clay. 5 The statues legs were molded solid. 6 The upper parts of the bodies were made using one-inch thick coiled ropes that were then smoothed with paddles. 7 While dozens of heads might have been made from the same mold, each face was carved to give individaul details to the eyes, hair, mustaches, and ears. 8 Although they have faded over the centuries, various shades of lacquer were used to glaze figures with colors such as pink, red, blue, and even bright yellow. 9 No two figures are identical. 10 Since then, people have attempted to make figures of similar quality and failed. 11 Altogether, over 7,000 figures, horses, and chariots have been uncovered at this site, and excavation continues to this day.

1.5.8.E

1.

Where would this sentence best fit in the passage? A. B. C. D.

These pottery soldiers are known as the Terra Cotta Warriors. after sentence 2 * after sentence 4 after sentence 8 after sentence 10

Students are asked to place a new detail into the passage. The structure of the new detail helps lead students to the correct answer, which is Option A. The new detail would best fit after sentence 2 because sentence 2 reports the discovery of the soldiers and the added detail provides specific information (“These pottery soldiers”) about the soldiers. Options B, C, and D make no direct reference to the soldiers.


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WRITING 1.5.8.F

2.

Which explains the reason for quotation marks around the word fire in sentence 4? A. B. C. D.

The word is part of a title. The word is used in a new way. * The word is part of a dialogue. The word is a foreign word.

This item tests students’ knowledge of quotation marks’, usage. All answer options offer legitimate uses for quotation marks. In this case, the word fire is used in a new way, not as a noun, but as a verb in a particular context (pottery baking in kilns), making Option B the correct answer.

1.5.8.F

3.

Which sentence shows the correct apostrophe placement in sentence 5? A. The statue’s legs were molded solid. The statues’ legs were molded solid. *

B.

C. The statues leg’s were molded solid. D. The statues legs’ were molded solid. Students must decide two things: which word should be in its possessive form and whether that word is singular or plural. Students should refer to the passage to determine if one or more than one statue is being discussed. The correct answer is Option B as it is the legs that belong to the statues being molded, making statues the possessor. The apostrophe is placed after the “s” to signify multiple statues.

1.5.8.F

4.

Which word in sentence 7 is misspelled? A. B. C. D.

dozens mold individaul * mustaches

A common spelling error is to reverse two vowels in a multi-syllabic word. The correct answer here is Option C, individaul. For this item, all possible spelling errors are taken from one sentence so students do not have to re-read the passage, nor do they have to search out multiple sentences within the passage to locate the words in question.


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Read the passage below and then answer questions 5–8. 1 Have

you ever seen a flying squirrel? 2 Flying squirrels are unusual creatures. 3 First of all, they can’t really fly; however, they can glide distances of 30 to 60 feet. 4 A fold of skin on each side of a flying squirrel’s body connects its front and back legs. 5 With its legs spread out, the flying squirrel use this extra skin as wings. 6 Although these squirrels can’t defy gravity to reach a higher level than the one from which they start, they can gracefully glide downward. 7 Even though flying squirrels’ bodies are fairly small, five to six inches in length, their tails are long. 8 They use these lengthy tails as rudders to control a glide’s direction. 9 Also, while other North American squirrels are active during the day, flying squirrels are nocturnal. 10 Nocturnal predators can pose significant problems for them. 11 Making use of their large eyes, flying squirrels constantly are on the lookout for owls. 12 Who often prey upon them. 1.5.8.F

5.

Which is the correct form of the verb use in sentence 5? A. B. C. D.

used using uses * has used

Students are asked to recognize that sentence 5 is written in present tense and therefore requires number agreement between the subject and its verb. The subject of this sentence is the singular squirrel, so the correct answer is Option C, uses.

1.5.8.E

6.

Which word or phrase could replace the word Also in sentence 9, without changing the meaning of the sentence? A. B. C. D.

Consequently Nevertheless In addition * For example

The item measures student knowledge of the meanings and logical uses of transitional expressions. Students are asked to choose a transition that will retain the original meaning of the sentence. Given the answer options (consequently means “as a result,” nevertheless means “however,” and for example means an example is coming), students should choose Option C, In addition, as the best replacement for the word Also.


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WRITING 1.5.8.E

7.

Which is the best revision to make sentence 12 a complete sentence? A. B. C. D.

Owls often prey. Owls are often prey for them. Owls often prey for flying squirrels. Owls often prey upon flying squirrels. *

Sentence 12 in the passage is an incomplete sentence, and the answer options offer four possibilities of correcting the sentence. Option A is an incomplete sentence; Option B is not a good revision because it is vague as well as inaccurate. Option C uses an incorrect preposition. Option D is the best revision of the sentence because it uses clear and concise language and correct sentence structure.

1.5.8.E

8.

Which is the most relevant detail to add to the passage? A. B. C. D.

Flying squirrels are such good gliders that they can “steer” around objects. * Female flying squirrels usually give birth in early summer. A rock band uses the name “The Flying Squirrels.” I once saw a flying squirrel.

Students are asked to think of the passage as a whole and select a relevant detail that could support (or be supported by) the details already in place. Only Option A adds a detail that expands the passage’s main ideas of flying squirrels and how they fly. Option B opens another topic related to flying squirrels, Option C is completely off-topic, and Option D changes voice and point of view.


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Read the passage below and then answer questions 9–12. 1 Even

though we’ve come to rely more than ever on computers, it’s hard to imagine school without pencils. 2 Ancient Romans used metal rods, some containing lead, that left light marks on early forms of paper. 3 By the 1500s, pencils were sticks of graphite. 4 Graphite leaves a darker mark than lead. 5 It is non-toxic. 6 It is soft and brittle and requires some kind of holder, so the graphite was wrapped in string. 7 Later, people hollowed out sticks to hold the graphite. 8 Have you ever wondered why pencils are so often painted yellow? 9 While early American pencils were unpainted to show the quality of wood used, in the 1890s, American pencil makers wanted to show buyers that their pencils were made with Chinese graphite, the best quality graphite available. 10 They painted their pencils yellow, a color associated with royalty and respect in China. 11 Today, 75 percent of pencils sold in the United States are yellow. 12 One pencil can write 45,000 words or it can draw a line 35 miles long. 13 Pencils have been around a long time. 1.5.8.E

9.

Which is the best way to combine sentences 4 and 5? A. B. C. D.

Graphite leaves a darker mark than lead, so it is non-toxic. Graphite leaves a darker mark than lead, but it is non-toxic. Graphite leaves a darker mark than lead, for it is non-toxic. Graphite leaves a darker mark than lead, and it is non-toxic. *

Students are asked to choose the appropriate conjunction to connect the two sentences. Simple coordinating conjunctions are used and both sentences are printed in full so students can easily see the connection between ideas. Option D is the best answer because the sentence contains two ideas of equal importance. Option A offers a cause-effect relationship. Option B offers a contrasting or conflicting relationship. Option C offers an assertion-explanation relationship.


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WRITING 1.5.8.F

10. Which word from sentence 6 is an adjective? A. B. C. D.

soft * requires kind wrapped

This item requires students to identify an adjective in a sentence. Students must refer to the passage to ascertain the word’s function in that particular sentence. Option A is the correct answer.

1.5.8.F

11. Which sentence is missing a comma? A. B. C. D.

sentence 2 sentence 9 sentence 12 * sentence 13

Students are asked to recognize the need for a comma between two independent clauses connected with a coordinating conjunction. Option A is a complex sentence with correct comma placement. Option B is a lengthy sentence that also contains correct comma placement. Option D is a simple sentence that requires no comma. The correct answer is Option C, sentence 12.

1.5.8.E

12. Which is the best concluding sentence? A. B. C. D.

It’s hard to imagine life without pencils. * The development of paper is also very interesting. I once used the same pencil for two solid months. The first patent to attach an eraser to a pencil was issued in 1858.

Students are asked to choose the best concluding sentence for the passage. Students must consider the main topic of the passage as well as what constitutes an effective conclusion. Options B (the development of paper) and D (the first eraser patent) stray off the topic. Introducing the “I” point of view makes Option C an incorrect response. Option A is the only option that echoes the introductory sentence and reiterates the prospect of life without pencils.


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WRITING


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WRITING WRITING PROMPTS: GENERAL INFORMATION The greater part of the writing assessment consists of students’ written responses to writing prompts. Eighth graders will write to two modes: informational and persuasive. The writing prompts reflect Pennsylvania Academic Standards–Types of Writing–1.4.8.B and 1.4.8.C. 1.4.8.B

Write multi‑paragraph informational pieces (e.g., letters, descriptions, reports, instructions, essays, articles, interviews).

1.4.8.C

Write persuasive pieces.

SAMPLE WRITING PROMPTS AND STUDENT RESPONSES There are two writing prompts (one at each mode) in this sampler. Written responses are scored on a 1–4 scale, and student samples at each scoring level have been provided. These examples of student writing have also been annotated. Each paper receives two scores, one for composition and one for conventions. Mode‑specific scoring guide‑ lines precede each group of student papers. The conventions scoring guideline precedes the papers that exemplify conventions scores.


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WRITING

PSSA Informational Scoring Guideline Focus Content

Development

Sharp, distinct controlling point made about a single topic with evident awareness of task and audience. Substantial, relevant, and illustrative content that demonstrates a clear understanding of the purpose. Thorough elaboration with effectively presented information consistently supported with well-chosen details.

Organization

Effective organizational strategies and structures, such as logical order and transitions, which develop a controlling idea.

Style

Precise control of language, stylistic techniques, and sentence structures that creates a consistent and effective tone.

Focus Content Development Organization Style Focus Content

Development

Organization

Clear controlling point made about a single topic with general awareness of task and audience. Adequate, specific, and/or illustrative content that demonstrates an understanding of the purpose. Sufficient elaboration with clearly presented information supported with wellchosen details. Organizational strategies and structures, such as logical order and transitions, which develop a controlling idea. Appropriate control of language, stylistic techniques, and sentence structures that creates a consistent tone. Vague evidence of a controlling point made about a single topic with an inconsistent awareness of task and audience. Inadequate, vague content that demonstrates a weak understanding of the purpose. Underdeveloped and/or repetitive elaboration with inconsistently supported information. May be an extended list. Inconsistent organizational strategies and structures, such as logical order and transitions, which ineffectively develop a controlling idea.

Style

Limited control of language and sentence structures that creates interference with tone.

Focus

Little or no evidence of a controlling point made about a single topic with a minimal awareness of task and audience.

Content Development

Minimal evidence of content that demonstrates a lack of understanding of the purpose. Superficial, undeveloped writing with little or no support. May be a bare list.

Organization

Little or no evidence of organizational strategies and structures, such as logical order and transitions, which inadequately develop a controlling idea.

Style

Minimal control of language and sentence structures that creates an inconsistent tone.


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WRITING

Informational Writing Prompt You will have up to 60 minutes to plan, write, and proofread your response to this writing prompt:

Write an essay that explains the qualities a hero should possess. Write your essay on the next three pages.

Plan Before you write:    

Read the prompt carefully so you understand exactly what you are being asked to do. Consider topic, task, and audience. Think about what you want to write. Use scratch paper to organize your thoughts. Use strategies like mapping or outlining.

Write As you write:    

Maintain a clear and consistent focus. Include specific details; use examples and reasons to support your ideas. Use a variety of well-constructed, complete sentences. Use a logical organization with an obvious introduction, body, and conclusion.

Proofread After you write:  Did you support your ideas with specific details?  Do the point of view and tone of the essay remain consistent?  Check for capitalization, spelling, sentence structure, punctuation, and usage errors.

Go on to the next page to begin writing your response.


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WRITING INFORMATIONAL WRITING PROMPT FINAL COPY

If you need additional space, please continue on the next page.

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COPYRIGHT PA DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION. DO NOT DUPLICATE. Grade 8 Writing Item Sampler 2006–2007

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WRITING INFORMATIONAL WRITING PROMPT (continued) FINAL COPY

AFTER YOU HAVE CHECKED YOUR WORK, CLOSE THIS WRITING BOOKLET SO YOUR TEACHER WILL KNOW YOU ARE FINISHED.


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WRITING Composition Score 4 The writer sharply focuses on the qualities that make his/her older brother, Tom, the personification of a hero [“He is my guardian angel. I look up to him and try to be like him”]. The first paragraph is an introduction that calls up and rejects common heroes from mythology and celebrity in favor of someone the writer knows personally—“my amazing brother Tom.” This theme controls the essay with each succeeding paragraph describing one of Tom’s qualities and how this quality makes him heroic [“My brother Tom’s best quality is his ability to listen,” “I look up to my brother because he is the smartest person I know,” and “Lastly, I find my brother extroardianrily generous”]. Ideas are presented in a logical order and thoroughly explained and supported with specific details and examples [“He attends Boston College and is close to the top of his class”]. The writer also unifies the essay by reaffirming each quality at the end of the paragraph [“That is why I love my brother, because he can listen”]. In the conclusion, the writer uses the image of a “guardian angel” to express how the brother’s heroic qualities have affected the writer [“He is everything I want to be”]. Repeating the qualities examined in the essay, the writer concludes that all of these are necessary “to be considered a hero.” The writer uses many stylistic techniques to enhance the writing. Hercules, an example of a hero from antiquity, is contrasted with modern teenage idols, like Brad Pitt. Vocabulary is rich [“He possesses every golden quality”] and structured in varied sentences that create fluency [“Listening is really hard, especially when you are really needed. It is easier to be the one talking”]. This essay exemplifies strong and consistent control of composition skills in the informational mode.


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WRITING PROMPT 1—INFORMATIONAL (continued) FINAL COPY

Composition Score 3 This writer presents an adequate explanation of the romantic hero, a knight in shining armor riding “a nobel steed.” In the opening paragraph, the writer names the attributes and accessories this hero needs: strength, armor, a horse, and “a princess to rescue.” Each succeeding paragraph explains one of these, culminating in a summary conclusion that restates the theme. These ideas are supported with explanations [“A hero should be strong so he can weild his trusty blade and conquer everything in his path”], specific details [“she will be sitting at the top of the highest tower”], and elaboration [“This horse will help him narrowly escape when he has no chance at victory”]. The writer uses topic-specific vocabulary to maintain a consistent tone appropriate to his topic, including “foes,” “nobel steed,” “suit of armor,” “blade,” “mail,” and “weild.” This essay exemplifies adequate control of composition skills in the informational mode.



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Composition Score 2 This writer attempts to explain two qualities of a hero, but his/her brief explanations only provide a vague response to the task. The writer explains the need for courage because, lacking it, “he or she might not be able to resive someone.” The other quality, “fast reacten time,” is necessary because the hero can “react to emergencys quicker and save more people.” These ideas need to be fully developed and supported with specific details, facts, and elaborated examples. The writer shows some organizational skill: a simple beginning and ending and a logical order with simple transitions [“One qualitie” and “Another qualitie”]. There is insufficient writing to demonstrate that the writer can maintain control of language skills. This essay exemplifies limited control of composition skills in the informational mode.


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Composition Score 1 This essay demonstrates minimal awareness of the task. The beginning is very weak, stating that the writer will name some examples “that explains the quality of a hero,” but no examples are given. A few “qualities” of a hero are suggested in such general terms that the heroic distinction cannot be discerned [“A hero could be Just anybody”; “A hero could be a person you admire”]. The writer does not explain or develop these ideas. The order is random and there is no ending. The response is too minimal to demonstrate that the writer can maintain control of language. This essay exemplifies little or no control of composition skills in the informational mode.


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WRITING

PSSA Persuasive Scoring Guideline Focus Content

Development

Organization

Sharp, distinct controlling point presented as a position and made convincing through a clear, thoughtful, and substantiated argument with evident awareness of task and audience. Substantial, relevant, and illustrative content that demonstrates a clear understanding of the purpose. Thoroughly elaborated argument that includes a clear position consistently supported with precise and relevant evidence. Rhetorical (persuasive) strategies are evident. Effective organizational strategies and structures, such as logical order and transitions, to develop a position supported with a purposeful presentation of content.

Style

Precise control of language, stylistic techniques, and sentence structures that creates a consistent and effective tone.

Focus

Clear controlling point presented as a position and made convincing through a credible and substantiated argument with general awareness of task and audience.

Content Development

Adequate, specific and/or illustrative content that demonstrates an understanding of the purpose. Sufficiently elaborated argument that includes a clear position supported with some relevant evidence. Rhetorical (persuasive) strategies may be evident.

Organization

Organizational strategies and structures, such as logical order and transitions, to develop a position supported with sufficient presentation of content.

Style Focus Content

Development

Organization

Appropriate control of language, stylistic techniques, and sentence structures that creates a consistent tone. Vague evidence of a controlling point presented as a position that may lack a credible and/or substantiated argument with an inconsistent awareness of task and audience. Inadequate, vague content that demonstrates a weak understanding of the purpose. Insufficiently elaborated argument that includes an underdeveloped position supported with little evidence. Inconsistent organizational strategies and structures, such as logical order and transitions, to develop a position with inadequate presentation of content.

Style

Limited control of language and sentence structures that creates interference with tone.

Focus

Little or no evidence of a controlling point presented as a position that lacks a credible and/or substantiated argument with minimal awareness of task and audience.

Content

Development

Organization Style

Minimal evidence of content that demonstrates a lack of understanding of the purpose. Unelaborated argument that includes an undeveloped position supported with minimal or no evidence. Little or no evidence of organizational strategies and structures, such as logical order and transitions, to develop a position with insufficient presentation of content. Minimal control of language and sentence structures that creates an inconsistent tone.


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Persuasive Writing Prompt You will have up to 60 minutes to plan, write, and proofread your response to this writing prompt:

An unknown contributor has donated $100,000 to your community and has requested that students suggest ways to spend the money. Write a letter to your community leaders to persuade them to accept your ideas. Write your essay on the next three pages. Plan Before you write:    

Read the prompt carefully so you understand exactly what you are being asked to do. Consider topic, task, and audience. Think about what you want to write. Use scratch paper to organize your thoughts. Use strategies like mapping or outlining.

Write As you write:    

Maintain a clear and consistent position or claim. Include specific details; use examples and reasons to support your ideas. Use a variety of well-constructed, complete sentences. Use a logical organization with an obvious introduction, body, and conclusion.

Proofread After you write:  Did you support your ideas with specific details?  Do the point of view and tone of the essay remain consistent?  Check for capitalization, spelling, sentence structure, punctuation, and usage errors.

Go on to the next page to begin writing your response.


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WRITING PERSUASIVE WRITING PROMPT FINAL COPY


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WRITING PROMPT 1—PERSUASIVE (continued) FINAL COPY



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WRITING Composition Score 4 This response has a sharp, distinct controlling point [“The ideas I have thought of will better the community and help everyone, not just a select few.”] presented as a position. The clear, thoughtful, and substantiated argument demonstrates awareness of task and audience. Rather than a simple introduction of ideas in the first paragraph, the writer utilizes a persuasive strategy explaining why the student’s ideas are best [because they help everyone]. Each suggestion [playground, recreation center and homeless shelter] is thoroughly supported with precise and relevant content that fully explains how each suggestion will benefit the community. Effective organizational strategies and structures help develop a position supported with a purposeful presentation of content. This essay’s body follows the logical order of ideas presented in the introductory paragraph. The writer uses transitional words between paragraphs [“First,” “Secondly,” “Lastly”] and within paragraphs [“also,” “therefore,” “not only”]. The last line of each paragraph in the body of the essay summarizes the paragraph’s content. The student demonstrates precise control of language and sentence structures to create an effective tone. The style is mature, sophisticated, and appropriate to task and audience. This essay exemplifies strong and consistent control of composition skills in the persuasive mode.


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WRITING PERSUASIVE WRITING PROMPT (continued) FINAL COPY

Composition Score 3 The writer presents a clear controlling point that is presented as a position [“We have many places that could use improvement.”]. The writer provides adequate content. The improvement to the library is supported by a series of logical consequences [more books…more studying...better grades… better community reputation.] While the content is sufficient, specific details and examples are lacking. This persuasive style of logical consequences is repeated again in the second paragraph [improvement of schools leads to larger capacity and population resulting in more money and job opportunities]. The third paragraph has simplistic internal organization with an introduction of improving houses resulting in the three listed improvements. This essay is logically ordered with an introductory paragraph, three supporting paragraphs and an effective conclusion that summarizes what was stated in the body. Simple transitions [“First thing,” “My second idea,” “My third idea,” and “In this writing”] move the reader through this essay. The style is weakened by the use of simplistic verbs such as “would” and “could.” The repetition of sentence structure creates a consistent tone but dampens its effectiveness. Despite these drawbacks, the student has appropriate control of sentence formation and vocabulary. This essay exemplifies adequate control of composition skills in the persuasive mode.



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WRITING Composition Score 2 This writer presents only vague evidence of a controlling point and minimal awareness of audience. While this essay remains focused on the implied point of how to spend the $100,000, this point is never explicitly stated. The statement “People should give it to us” shows a lack of audience awareness. By neither addressing the community leaders, nor explaining the $100,000, the writer assumes an informed audience who has read the prompt, and fails to introduce the idea in this essay. There is inadequate content demonstrating a weak understanding of the purpose. Much of the support is simplistic and provided in the form of consequences [“They need a house…so they don’t get sick and clean up the trash so they won’t get hurt”]. There is a minimal one‑sentence introduction to this essay. The writer jumps from one idea to the next. Each paragraph contains a cluster of ideas about a single suggestion of how to spend the money. There is no conclusion. Simple sentence structures and vocabulary weaken the style of this essay and hinder the creation of a consistent tone. The frequent repetition of “We could” limits the style. This essay exemplifies limited control of composition skills in the persuasive mode.


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Composition Score 1 This paper is not an essay, but rather a response to the prompt. The writer demonstrates little audience awareness by referring to “the money,” rather than introducing the idea of a $100,000 donation. The writer assumes the reader has read the prompt. There are three ideas briefly mentioned in one sentence [“Cleaning up streets, using the money to help people in the community, and to put up more factories.”]. There is no persuasive elaboration for why the money should be spent this way. The entire response reads like an introductory paragraph. The idea is minimally presented, three supporting concepts are mentioned and a persuasive note [“I think the money would really help our county.”] concludes. These three sentences are organized; however, a position is not developed with sufficient presentation of content. The writer is able to form two of the three sentences correctly. With so little sentence formation and language demonstrated, the student has not established evident control of style. This essay exemplifies little or no control of composition skills in the persuasive mode.


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WRITING

PSSA Conventions Scoring Guideline

Thorough control of sentence formation. Few errors, if any, are present in grammar, usage, spelling, and punctuation, but the errors that are present do not interfere with meaning.

Adequate control of sentence formation. Some errors may be present in grammar, usage, spelling, and punctuation, but few, if any, of the errors that are present may interfere with meaning.

Limited and/or inconsistent control of sentence formation. Some sentences may be awkward or fragmented. Many errors may be present in grammar, usage, spelling, and punctuation, and some of those errors may interfere with meaning.

Minimal control of sentence formation. Many sentences are awkward and fragmented. Many errors may be present in grammar, usage, spelling, and punctuation, and many of those errors may interfere with meaning.


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WRITING PERSUASIVE WRITING PROMPT (continued) FINAL COPY



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WRITING Conventions Score 4 This essay demonstrates skill in all elements of conventions. The student demonstrates thorough control of sentence formation. The student also demonstrates the ability to write complex sentences [“Some of the money should be used to help raise awarenes of what happens when the water is polluted, how people can help keep it clean, and why it is so important to have clean water in our community.”]. The essay has few errors in grammar, usage [“soon” rather then “quickly”], and punctuation [misplaced commas in the sentence which begins “There are other animals”]. There are no spelling errors. The few errors present do not interfere with meaning. This essay exemplifies strong and consistent control of all elements of conventions.


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WRITING PROMPT 1—INFORMATIONAL (continued) FINAL COPY This essay demonstrates adequate control of all elements of conventions. The writer uses a variety of sentence structures, and parenthetical expressions are implemented. However, the sentences are sometimes repetitive and confusing [“But yet your morals are worthless if you don’t have any actions to make your morals make a difference”]. The writer has some difficulty with “there” and “their,” and “With out” should be one word. Misspellings are minor errors that in this case do not interfere with meaning. Conventions Score 3

This essay exemplifies adequate control of all elements of conventions. .



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Conventions Score 2 The writer struggles with sentence formation. The first sentence has no agreement between subject and verb and lists items in a series with no “and.” The second sentence needs a comma after “Honesty.” Many sentences are fragments [“Like being honest to something you saw, or be honest to your family and friends”]. This results in awkward and stilted sentences that hinder the reading of the essay and force the reader to decipher rather than read for meaning. This essay exemplifies limited control of all elements of conventions.


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Conventions Score 1 This essay represents minimal control of conventions. The student fails to demonstrate the ability to form correct sentences in this short response, as it is just one long run-on sentence. The first line has two grammar errors: the omission of an article [“house” rather than ‘a house’] and failure to add ‘and’ prior to “chairs,” the last item in a series. There are two spelling errors [“pay cheak” and “payed”] and mechanics errors [an extra comma after “chairs” and failure to capitalize the pronoun ‘I’]. While the errors are few in number, they are significant in comparison to what little is demonstrated. This essay exemplifies little or no control of the elements of conventions.


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Copyright ©2006 by the Pennsylvania Department of Education. The materials contained in this publication may be duplicated by Pennsylvania educators for local classroom use. This permission does not extend to the duplication of materials for commercial use.


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