Gratitude and Generosity

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School of Business. Brooklyn College of the City University of New York ... Happiness research has its roots in the field of positive psychology. Martin Seligman.
Gratitude and Generosity: Two Keys to Success and Happiness

Toby H. Birnbaum, J.D. Assistant Professor of Business and Law School of Business Brooklyn College of the City University of New York E-mail: [email protected]

Hershey H. Friedman, Ph.D. Professor of Business Department of Finance and Business Management School of Business Brooklyn College of the City University of New York E-mail: [email protected]

Abstract Happiness has become a serious area of research in many disciplines including psychology, economics, and business. There is a growing body of research showing a significant relationship between gratitude and happiness. Practicing gratitude and generosity are important for all who seek true happiness. In fact, teaching children to show gratitude enhances learning and reduces the prevalence of mental health problems such as depression. Keywords: Happiness, gratitude, generosity, depression, positive psychology, pay-it-forward.

Electronic copy available at: http://ssrn.com/abstract=2398117

Introduction

Happiness has become a serious area of research in many disciplines including psychology, economics, and business. Back in July 2011 the United Nations General Assembly passed a resolution that invited member countries to use happiness as the metric to measure the wellbeing of its citizens and use this to determine public policy. Currently, almost every country uses Gross Domestic Product (GDP) as the main metric to guide public policy (Helliwell, Layard, and Sachs, 2013). It is becoming very clear that once a person reaches the middle class, additional money does not bring additional joy. Layard (2005: 48-49) describes the “hedonic treadmill” that some people find themselves on. They make more money so they buy a bigger and nicer house in a more exclusive neighborhood, purchase a more luxurious car, dine out more, and within a few months have adapted to the new lifestyle and are no happier than before the income increase. Firebaugh (2005) also concludes that many Americans are finding themselves on a hedonic treadmill: “working-age families must earn more and more over time to maintain a constant level of happiness.” Dunn and Norton (2012) cite research that states that “the beneficial effects of money tapered off entirely after the $75,000 mark.” Depression has become quite common and is a huge problem with young people. An astonishing one out of eight adolescents suffers from teen depression (http://www.webmd.com/depression/guide/teen-depression).

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Electronic copy available at: http://ssrn.com/abstract=2398117

Happiness research has its roots in the field of positive psychology. Martin Seligman transformed the discipline of psychology in 1998 when, in his presidential address to the American Psychological Association, he advised researchers to focus on human virtues and strengths such as happiness. He asserted that mental health is about more than simply having “no mental disease.” The value of positive psychology is that it deals with mental health rather than mental illness (Lambert, 2007). Positive psychology examines positive emotions such as happiness, pleasure, and well-being, whereas traditional psychology is more concerned with negative emotions such as anger, depression, and hostility (Max, 2007). According to Seligman (2004), since only about 50% of happiness is genetic, people can be taught to be happy. The principles of positive psychology have been used at several schools throughout the world, such as Geelong Grammar School in Australia, to teach young people well-being and thus increase life satisfaction. This has the potential to slow down the huge increase in depression and enhance learning (Seligman et al, 2009; Seligman, 2012: 78-98).

Gratification and Pleasure

As far as the happiness that comes from pleasure and fun, that is short term and produces what some have referred to as an “empty self” (Moreland and Issler, 2006). People want meaning and purpose. Seligman (2004) makes a distinction between pleasure and gratification. Eating a scrumptious piece of pie provides one with a conscious sensation and feeling of pleasure. On the other hand, saving the lives of people, say, during a storm, does not produce the same kind of

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conscious pleasure. In fact, the person saving the lives will probably be totally absorbed in this activity and (i.e., “flow”) unaware of the passage of time. This is “gratification” according to Seligman. Rarely, will a person talk about a great piece of pie he had 15 years earlier. The “gratification” that results from having written a great novel, saving the lives of many people, or finding the cure for cancer is different from the “pleasure” one gets from, say, a good steak, a great film, or a good massage.

Seligman (2004) feels that the fact that the English language does not make distinctions between the two very different kinds of contentment is unfortunate since people confuse them and feel they can be had in similar ways. According to Seligman, one must understand the difference between “pleasure” and “gratification” in order to comprehend the difference between the “Good Life” and the “Pleasant Life.” The “Good Life” is based on gratification and is similar to Aristotle’s concept of eudaimonia. Eudaimonia is usually translated as happiness and flourishing. The way to achieve this, according to Aristotle in his Nicomachean Ethics, was through virtue. Aristotle felt that the person who lives a life that is in accord with both the intellectual and moral virtues will achieve eudaimonia. The intellectual virtues allow the rational part of a person’s soul to function and include knowledge, intuitive reason, and wisdom; the moral virtues, which include courage, truthfulness, humility, friendliness, generosity, justice, and moderation, permit the emotional part of a person’s soul to function.

Robert Nozick (1974: 42-45), a renowned philosopher, asked whether people would choose to live their lives attached to an “experience machine” that stimulated the brain in a way that 3

provided extremely pleasurable experiences. The person who desired to write the greatest novel ever or win the Nobel Prize would now be able to sense the joy of this “experience.” Of course, the person would not be aware that she was floating in a tank hooked up to a machine with wires protruding from her brain. The experiences would seem real. The question is whether one would choose this kind of life? The answer for most of us is “no” because we want more than pleasure. Seligman (2004) provides a formula for the “good life”: “identifying one’s signature strengths (e.g., love of learning, kindness, optimism, capacity to love and be loved, humor, spirituality, etc.) and virtues and using them in work, love, play, and parenting to produce abundant and authentic gratification.” Happiest Countries

Adrian White (2006), of the University of Leicester, developed the first “world map of happiness.” White did a meta analysis of 100 happiness studies involving 80,000 respondents worldwide. The countries that had the highest ratings on happiness were: Denmark, Switzerland, Austria, Iceland, and the Bahamas. White (2006) found that a nation’s happiness correlated most strongly with health (.62), wealth (.52), and education (.51). Poverty is associated with unhappiness; wealth brings happiness when it raises people from severe poverty to the point where basic needs are met. Meeting the essential needs of people for food, clothing, shelter, education, and health is very important for happiness. Layard (2005: 70-71) found six factors that explain 80% of the variation in happiness among nations. They are: divorce rate, unemployment rate, level of trust, membership in non-religious organizations, quality of

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government, belief in God.

A more recent study, World Happiness Report 2013, found the happiest countries were all in Northern Europe: Denmark, Norway, Switzerland, Netherlands, and Sweden (Helliwell, Layard, and Sachs, 2013). The United States ranked 17th, slightly behind Mexico and Panama with an average score of 7.082 on a 10-point scale. One reason cited in the study for focusing on the happiness of citizens is because there is a significant correlation between happiness and longevity, productivity, and earnings; happy people are better citizens. According to the World Happiness Report 2013: Six key variables explain three-quarters of the variation in annual national average scores over time and among countries. These six factors include: real GDP per capita, healthy life expectancy, having someone to count on, perceived freedom to make life choices, freedom from corruption, and generosity [donating money to charity] One of the major causes of unhappiness is mental illness (Helliwell, Layard, and Sachs, 2013). The report has the following to say about mental illness: 1. Mental illness is a highly influential — and in the countries we have assessed, the single biggest — determinant of misery (see Table 3.1). 2. Prevalence varies between countries, but these conditions affect about 10% of the world’s population at any one time. 3. Worldwide, depression and anxiety disorders account for up to a fifth of all disability. This involves massive costs in lost output as well as increased physical illness. 4. Even in rich countries, less than a third of people who suffer from mental illness are in receipt of treatment and care; in lowerresource settings, the situation is considerably worse. This is serious discrimination; it is also unsound economics. 5. Cost-effective treatments exist. For depression and anxiety disorders, evidence-based treatments can have low or zero net cost. 5

They can and should be made far more universally available. 6. Schools and workplaces need to be much more mental healthconscious, and directed to the improvement of happiness, if we are to prevent mental illness and promote mental health. Sadly, 10% of humanity suffers from depression at any given moment (see point 2 above). The report also suggests that schools teach young people how to be happy. As noted above, this is being done at schools throughout the world.

Gratitude: A Key to Happiness

A simple and inexpensive way of increasing happiness is to show gratitude for what one has. This forces individuals to focus on the positive, and not on the negative. There is a growing body of research showing a significant relationship between gratitude and happiness (Society for Personality and Social Psychology, 2013; Emmons, 2013; Emmons, 2008; Post and Neimark, 2007: 27-44; Wallis, 2005; Emmons and McCullough, 2003). People who demonstrate gratitude are not only happier but are also healthier. Emmons and McCullough (2003) conducted several experiments that demonstrated the connection between being grateful for what one has and emotional health. Gratitude is also important in strengthening relationships between couples (Gordon, 2013). Leaders of organizations who practice gratitude can benefit an entire organization (Kerns, 2016). Amin lists 31 benefits that result from gratitude (http://happierhuman.com/benefits-of-gratitude/#c9).

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Seligman (2004) makes showing gratitude a key part of his seminar on positive psychology. The reason for this is that Seligman believes that showing gratitude “amplifies satisfaction about the past.” The most popular course at Harvard is one that uses the principles of positive psychology and focuses on happiness; it is taught by Tal Ben Shahar (Goldberg, 2006). One of the ideas taught in the course is: “Express gratitude, whenever possible. We too often take our lives for granted. Learn to appreciate and savor the wonderful things in life, from people to food, from nature to a smile” (Goldberg, 2006). Writing a gratitude journal, i.e., writing down things for which one is grateful, can boost one’s happiness (Ben Shahar, 2010).

Emmons, an expert on gratitude has the following suggestions for those interested in keeping gratitude journals (Marsh, 2011): •

Don’t just go through the motions. Research by psychologist Sonja Lyubomirsky and others suggests that journaling is more effective if you first make the conscious decision to become happier and more grateful. “Motivation to become happier plays a role in the efficacy of journaling,” says Emmons. • Go for depth over breadth. Elaborating in detail about a particular thing for which you’re grateful carries more benefits than a superficial list of many things. • Get personal. Focusing on people to whom you are grateful has more of an impact than focusing on things for which you are grateful. • Try subtraction, not just addition. One effective way of stimulating gratitude is to reflect on what your life would be like without certain blessings, rather than just tallying up all those good things. • Savor surprises. Try to record events that were unexpected or surprising, as these tend to elicit stronger levels of gratitude. • Don’t overdo it. Writing occasionally (once or twice per week) is more beneficial than daily journaling. In fact, one study by Lyubomirsky and her colleagues found that people who wrote in 7

their gratitude journals once a week for six weeks reported boosts in happiness afterward; people who wrote three times per week didn’t. “We adapt to positive events quickly, especially if we constantly focus on them,” says Emmons. “It seems counterintuitive, but it is how the mind works.”

There is convincing evidence that what truly matters in education and success in life are character traits (Texas Parenting News, 2011; Tough, 2012; Wilce, 2014). Wilce (2014) believes that six traits are essential for learning and life: joie de vivre, resilience, self-discipline, honesty, courage, and kindness. Others list the following traits; this list includes gratitude: autonomy, curiosity, fearlessness, gratitude, grit, hope, love, passion, perseverance, personality, resilience, selfcontrol, zest (Texas Parenting News, 2011). Teaching children the importance of gratitude appears to enhance learning and reduce the prevalence of mental health problems such as depression.

Gratitude and Generosity

Closely related to gratitude is generosity. Post and Neimark (2007) cite several studies that demonstrate the significant relationships between generosity and health, happiness, and longevity. Post and Neimark conclude (2007: 283) that the only kind of life that people should be interested in living one filled with love, compassion, and giving to others. People who are generous and giving will live a life that is mentally and physically healthier than those who are selfish and self-centered. Positive psychologists find that doing five acts of kindness a week can significantly increase one’s happiness (Wallis, 2005). Anne Frank was certainly correct in her 8

opinion that “No one has ever become poor from giving” (http://www.amsterdam.info/annefrank/). Helping others can enrich one’s life and bring great joy.

It is not surprising that people who feel gratitude for what they have been given are more likely to be generous to others (Komter, 2004). Thus, researchers are finding that people are more generous in “pay-it-forward” situations than when they expect to get something for themselves. Pay-it-forward, which is simply a chain of goodwill, was made popular by a 2000 film (based on book by Catherine Ryan Hyde) starring Kevin Spacey and involves doing something good for a stranger in response to a good deed done for us by another person. Normally, we expect to return a favor (reciprocity) to the person who did something good for us. With pay-it-forward the favor is paid back to someone else, not the person who helped us. Holding a door open for a stranger is an example of pay-it-forward. In a study involving pricing, researchers found that ”consumers consistently paid more for another customer than for themselves when purchasing a cup of coffee or the price of admission” when they paid it forward (Anwar, 2013).

Research is demonstrating that there are all sorts of psychological benefits from giving to others. In fact, altruism makes people feel wealthier. People who give time to others by helping them will feel that they have more leisure time than those who do not spend time helping others (Society for Personality and Social Psychology Society, 2013). Michael Norton, a researcher in the area of giving, states: "Our results suggest when the poor give money away, that very act might mitigate their feelings of poverty" (Society for Personality and Social Psychology Society,

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2013). Altruism is another path to happiness.

Parker (2011) asserts: The pursuit of happiness does not equate to the pursuit of materialism and individual ambition. In fact, those who rated highly the goals "being able to buy things" and "success in my job" tended to be less happy over time than those who gave higher ratings to relationships, helping other people, and social and political activity.

Adam Grant’s research on productivity and success shows that the most successful people are “givers,” individuals who love helping others without requiring or expecting reciprocity; he does good to others with no strings attached. A giver also loves people and achieves happiness by helping them (Grant, 2013). While it is true that in some cases givers get exploited by others, many of them will achieve a great deal of success.

DISCUSSION Sacks (2014) demonstrates how the Hebrew Bible emphasizes the “centrality of gratitude to the maintenance of social happiness over time.” Scripture (Deuteronomy 8: 10-14) States: And you shall eat and be satisfied, and you will bless the Lord your God for the good land he gave you. Take heed lest you forget the Lord your God . . . lest, when you eat and are satisfied, and have built good houses and live in them, and your cattle and sheep multiply, and your silver and gold is multiplied, and all that you have is multiplied, your heart will become haughty and you forget the Lord your God who took you out of Egypt from the house of slavery.

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The Bible warns against saying (Deuteronomy 8:17): “My strength and the might of my hand have made me all this wealth” A recurrent theme in the Hebrew Bible is to remember that “you were once slaves in Egypt.” Thus, “Do not oppress a stranger; you yourselves know how it feels to be a stranger, because you were strangers in the land of Egypt” (Exodus 23: 9). Farmers had to bring their first fruits (bikkurim) to the Temple and thanked God (Deuteronomy 26:1-11) by reciting a prayer. The prayer is one of gratitude and contains the following verse (Deuteronomy 26: 9): “And He brought us to this place, and has given us this land, a land flowing with milk and honey.” People who learn to be grateful for what they have (and remember their past when they had nothing) are more likely to be generous. The ancient adage (Ethics of the Fathers 4:1) is correct, “Ben Zoma says: Who is wealthy? One who rejoices with his portion.” Being grateful for what one has and not focusing on what one does not have is critical to happiness.

It is especially important for parents to teach children the importance of gratitude and generosity. This is the key to learning and mental health. Moreover, people who are taught to show gratitude and to be generous to others will achieve much success in life and be happy, self-fulfilled individuals.

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