NLP and started to understand and resolve some of my issues. I met a yoga ... As
a child you crave acceptance and you subconsciously copy the traits. I found ...
Hoffman Quadrinity Process karmafunkFLINE This blog is about my experience of the Hoffman Process and what it did for me. It was a life changing experience and I would love others to have the opportunity to advance in their personal development as I did. First I should explain what it was about me that I felt was wrong. You don't do these things because things are going well and I didn't feel things were going well. Relationships had always been a problem for me whether it was a girlfriend, relative or a friend. I felt awkward in certain situations and didn't really know if I was saying the right thing. I had low self esteem and lacked in confidence in certain situations. I had no real direction in my life. I was a pure hedonist and craved the party lifestyle. I explored my spirituality many years ago and had a very profound spiritual experience which totally freaked me out but I will go into that another time, except to say that I wanted to find out more about that side of myself. In 1998 I decided to do something about the missing piece and went to see an NLP practitioner. Within 3 sessions he had given me the confidence to walk into a public place without the fear of being judged or making a fool of myself. He gave me a vision of the future that had always been within me but I had failed to see because I never thought that was me. At last I was being myself. I then spent a few years looking into a reading up on different therapies as there was still something missing. I tried hypnotherapy, counselling, kinesiology, and read books to try and find out where the missing piece was. I did a core skills training course on NLP and started to understand and resolve some of my issues. I met a yoga teacher while I was working in London and after chatting about our different paths she suggested the Hoffman process. I thought about it for a while and then after another failed relationship I thought I'd do some research. With a lot of research you tend to find a balance of negative and positive views. I couldn't find anything negative about Hoffman. Everyone had amazing experiences. So I called them and was surprised at the level of compassion by the person on the other end of the phone. This wasn't a business that wanted to make money, this was all about me. We must have chatted for an hour. I immediately got a sense of intimacy that was going to come from this experience. I paid my money and waited for my pre-hoffman work to arrive. Within the work was a series of guides to assist you in finding your negative and positive traits. These make you who you are. Some of them come as triggers and control you emotionally without you even knowing it. They are learnt from your parents/guardians. As a child you crave acceptance and you subconsciously copy the traits. I found over 45 from my mother. There are lists of common traits to help you pinpoint them. Just the fact that I was able to start to see the traits was enlightening in itself. I think I should point out at this point that a lot of the work that you do on the Hoffman Process would lose its effect if you had time to analyse and think about it in a rational way. This is because a lot of the work is working with your emotional child. So I am unable to give everything away but can talk about how the various methods and points in the course had an effect.
Before I knew it I was driving up the drive of Florence House, a beautiful place by the white cliffs in Seaford on the South coast of England. I was a bit nervous at first, but I was soon made to feel at ease and was then shown to my room. That evening (Thursday) we had a fantastic evening meal and retired to bed. Florence House : On the brow of Seaford Head, Sussex, sits Florence House; rock solid in the sea air and surrounding wild landscape. In many ways its situation is a metaphor for its life’s purpose - a haven for the spirit however the wind blows. The beautiful interior of the house itself, the abundant garden, the proximity to the sea and the wildness of the Downs, make Florence House a much loved venue for life enhancing workshops, events and retreats. We were up at 8am, that's me and about 15 others if I recall correctly. Straight to work. We were immediately introduced to the power of unconditional love and also the power of ritual. There were 4 teachers and we were split into 4 groups. The intimacy and personal touch of this retreat was amazing. I never want to leave I thought. That would change though as I found myself and couldn't wait to get back out into the world with the new me. We were all coached individually as well as in our groups and it was in this first one-on-one session that we established that the biggest impact on my life was abandonment. This would play a big part in the process. We then did some vision work and were made to feel relaxed and shown how to explore our thoughts through this method. The next part of the process probably had the biggest impact on me and I am guessing the others. This really was an emotional rollercoaster as you recall the different situations and you work with each of the traits. I read a book in 2000 while traveling Australia called The HandBook to Higher Consciousness by Ken Keyes and was so impressed that I bought another 4 copies that I gave away to people that I met on my travels that I thought would benefit from it. It was in this book that I first came across the concept of cathartic release. Within the book it explains the power of focussing on negative addictions and using your body to really hit the message home. This has a profound effect on the mind almost like releasing the trauma, anger and sadness surrounding the addiction. When I say addiction I mean anything from an emotional addiction to a physical one. When this concept came up on the Hoffman Process I embraced it and jumped right in. This was difficult work. We learnt that beneath the anger sits the sadness. You can't release the sadness without first dealing with the anger. To understand this better imagine someone pushing in front of you and is then rude to you. You may get angry or sometimes upset. This is a direct attack on you and your identity. This causes a degree of sadness within, but most of the time the first thing you feel is anger. This anger should be expressed but obviously not at the person because not only is that not going to help, you also don't know why that person acted that. There could be 100 reasons. Anyway, each one of your traits has a degree of sadness attached to it. Through this cathartic release you are able to let it go and eventually the sadness will leave too. You may not even feel it go but as long as the intent is there and you are saying no to the old trait then it is working. We were guided through meditation techniques and explored ourselves within them. The Process is also known as the Quadrinity Process as this consists of the four parts of self: The physical you, the emotional child, the adult intellect, and the spiritual self. You learn to visualise your spirit in human form. Mine has a glowing blue aura. We worked with each of these aspects of the self for the 8 days.
As well as doing direct work within ourselves there were sessions where we learnt why we are the way we are. It helps to know why we are reacting to rather than acknowledging our feelings. There are four parts to gaining control of your life: • Awareness • Expression • Forgiveness • New behaviour There were breaks between some of the intense work with a lot of the break time taken up with writing. Writing is a form of expression and just getting stuff out of your head and onto paper can have an amazing releasing effect. It can also lead you into other realisations about yourself. It was while doing this work that I realised that I wasn't going to work on my fathers traits but on my step fathers. I thought that I had dealt with the years of abuse but through he writing I was able to start feeling like that kid again. I had just learnt to deal with it by burying it deep within me. When I started to release the years of guilt, anger, sadness, and shame it was like a volcano exploding. Luckily the Hoffman Process is geared towards dealing with large explosions. The support you receive is just amazing but mostly you are guided to just deal with it. Steve Graham
