KEY QUESTIONS

KEY QUESTIONS 2 OCTOBER 2017

HOW COULD WE LISTEN MORE EFFECTIVELY? SHARON MOLLER, FINANCIAL PLANNING COACH AT OLD MUTUAL WEALTH

2 OCTOBER 2017

WEALTH INTELLIGENCE WEEKLY KEY QUESTIONS What does paying attention look like? It isn’t clearing your mind of all thoughts, as this is impossible to do. Kline says that 100% of your attention should be on the speaker, while another 100% of your attention should be

HOW COULD WE LISTEN

on your response, your facial expression and body language. The other

MORE EFFECTIVELY?

how we can help people think for themselves. Balancing these three aspects

100% should be on providing a Thinking Environment, asking ourselves is equally important.

SO WHY IS THIS WAY OF LISTENING SO IMPORTANT? It is essential to find a connection and more importantly, to truly connect Listening skills are essential to become a successful leader or manager that’s responsive, attentive and empathetic.

with the person we are talking to. Clients often feel as though they are never truly heard although they have many people in their lives. By listening attentively to our clients we could also learn more about ourselves and

Are you aware of how you listen to people and how your listening ability

break down any barriers between us. Or perhaps it could just be that if

affects the way others respond to you? Listening should surely be something

we care enough to listen to our clients, they will listen to and notice what

we have mastered by the time we leave school, but unfortunately it’s often

is important. It will definitely change our relationships with the people in

not the case.

our lives and our clients in a positive way.

TYPES OF LISTENING:

Listening to others — to truly hear and understand what they say — and

Listening competitively is the way in which most of us typically listen. This

to learn from them is a gift that we give to them and to ourselves. Active

type of listening is practiced to get confirmation on our own thoughts and

listening takes courage as true listening means you must also be open to

involves interrupting to push our own agenda. We pretend to be listening

being wrong about the way you see the world. You need to see and

but are actually thinking about something else while in conversation.

understand that person’s perspective on life. If we actively listen and engage

Centered listening means listening to the whole of a situation. Imagine

with each other, it will enhance our lives and relationships.

sitting at a table and the words of the person you are talking to land gently on an imaginary table between the two of you. You can choose which words you want to leave on that table and which ones you want to reflect on. This way of listening is useful in conflict situations when you need to stay centered and keep listening instead of shutting down and becoming defensive. Active listening entails listening with curiosity and with the intent to truly hear what the other person is saying. Even more than that, we are listening for what they are not saying so that we can ask more questions for a deeper understanding. There is no judgement and we listen with absolute empathy, putting ourselves in the other person’s shoes to really understand their point of view.

CREATING A THINKING ENVIRONMENT The quality of everything we do depends on the quality of the thinking we do first. In Nancy Kline’s book “Time to Think” she speaks about ten components to create a Thinking Environment, which according to her is something that is sorely lacking in our world. A thinking environment promotes the best thinking out of those we engage with. Instead of us telling someone how to solve their problem, how can we listen in a way that will help them see the solution for themselves? The one component she finds most effective is that of paying attention when listening.

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