43(2):234-239,2002
PUBLIC HEALTH AND PEACE
Linking Objects in the Process of Mourning for Sons Disappeared in War: Croatia 2001 Slavica Jurèeviæ, Ivan Urliæ1 Center for Health and Human Rights, and 1Department of Psychiatry, Split University School of Medicine, Split, Croatia Aim. Mothers use linking object to externalize the complex aspects of their relationship to the loss of their child. We analyzed the linking objects that mothers kept in memory of their sons who disappeared in the 1991-1995 war in Croatia or whose remains were uncovered and identified long time after they had gone missing. Method. The case study of disturbed mourning included 26 mothers of Croatian soldiers from Croatian Osijek-Baranja County who went missing in war or whose remains were recovered and identified long after they had gone missing. The mothers were selected independently by the president of the Association of Families of Missing and Detained Croatian Soldiers and agreed to participate in the study in 2001. They were interviewed in their homes, their testimonies were recorded, and photographs of the linking objects taken. Linking objects were classified according to the Volkan’s four-group classification. Results. Out of four Volkan’s groups of linking objects, we identified the objects belonging to the first three. Those were 1) objects that had been worn by the deceased (clothes, wrist-watch, ring, or glasses), (6/26); 2) objects that could be viewed in the psychoanalytic sense as an extension of the body of the disappeared or dead person, such as a camera (4/26); and 3) objects with realistic or symbolic resemblance to the deceased, usually a photograph (8/26). None of the examined objects belonged to the fourth Volkan’s group (objects at hand when the news of the death came or objects present at the funeral, things that could be considered “last-minute objects”, ie, related to the moment when the deceased was last seen alive). However, 8/26 objects formed a new hitherto undescribed group. Mothers used such objects to create a “memorial shrine” to their sons. A photograph of the missing person or person whose remains were identified long after he had gone missing occupied a central place at the shrine, and was surrounded by other symbols of the Catholic iconography (Virgin Mary, crucifix), flowers, and candles. The memorial shrine to the beloved son who dissappeared was always located in the room where the family spent most of their time and/or where guests were received (living room or kitchen). Conclusion. We found three out of four original (Volkan’s) groups of linking objects, but also an additional one, hitherto undescribed, comprising objects used for designing a “memorial shrine” to the deceased. This could be viewed as an expression typical of Christian, mid-European Croatian culture and tradition. Key words: attitude; bereavement; conflict (psychology); Croatia; grief; symbolism; war
Out of 3,052 persons who disappeared during the 1991-1995 war in Croatia (1,2), 1,529 persons have been exhumed from 126 mass graves, whereas 1,523 persons are still missing (the data of the Office for the Detained and Missing Persons of the Government of the Republic of Croatia from March 19, 2001). The disappearance of people was not randomly distributed, because the war was concentrated on a quarter of Croatian territory (2,3) including Osijek-Baranja and Vukovar-Srijem counties in the north-eastern part of Croatia (4,5). Mourning for a disappeared person can be seen as a specific form of pathological grief (6,7). The manner of the grief is influenced by the circumstances of death, which determine whether the bereaved will accept the death or not. These circumstances are the following: 1) whether the mode of dying necessitated 234 www.cmj.hr
a prolonged period of nursing of the person before he or she died; 2) whether the mode of dying resulted in distortion or mutilation of the body; 3) how the information about the death reached the bereaved; 4) the relations between the parties during the weeks and days immediately preceding death, and 5) to whom, if anyone, responsibility for death seemed to be assignable (7). Furthermore, in the cases of mourning for missing persons, the lack of knowledge or information about the circumstances of death and the fact that the body has never been seen can provoke a doubt among the bereaved whether the person in question is really dead. This disbelief is more frequent when death is reported from far away or by an unknown person (7). Based on their study of mourning for the missing persons in Argentina, Kijak and Pelento (6) described mourning in psychodynamic
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terms as the process of transformation of emotional investments into the lost person. The processes of acceptance and rejection of the loss act simultaneously, successively, and suddenly, so the denial of emotional investment (“the person might be dead”) is made impossible by the processes that act in the direction of a repeated emotional investment (“the person might be alive”). This ambivalence and the importance of the loss make the grieving person unable to accept the death of the beloved one, which is why she or he must partly externalize the loss (8). The “linking object” is evidence of this kind of externalization and functions as an external meeting ground; it permits the illusion of reunion to be kept alive (8). According to Volkan (9), these linking objects can be divided in four categories that partly overlap, as follows: 1) objects that had been worn by the deceased, such as a piece of clothing, watch, ring, or glasses; 2) objects that, in the psychoanalytic sense, can be seen as an extension of the body of the disappeared, such as a camera – an extension of visual intake; 3) objects with realistic or symbolic resemblance to the deceased, usually a photograph; and 4) objects at hand when the news of the death came or objects present at the funeral – things that could be considered “last-minute objects”, related to the moment when the person was last seen alive. The goal of our study was to describe and analyze the linking objects that mothers keep in memory of their sons, Croatian soldiers, who went missing or whose remains were identified long time after they had gone missing early during the 1991-1995 war in Croatia. At the time, Serbian forces were overwhelmingly superior. Croatian Army suffered a number of losses and was unable to recover the soldiers’ bodies, either because it was loosing territory or because the enemy refused humanitarian cooperation (10).
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sons (one of them lost two). The median age of the missing soldiers at the time of disappearance was 23 years (range 21-31 years). Five were married. All sons were regular soldiers-volunteers of the Croatian Army – 25 of them disappeared in 1991, and 2 at the beginning of 1992. Remains of nine soldiers were recovered and identified at least seven years after they had disappeared. The remaining 20 are still missing, meaning that the search for them has already been going on for over 10 years. Assessment of Linking Objects We used a subjective method of a phenomenological reporting (11) of the bereaved mothers’ attitude towards their loss. The interviews were conducted individually at home of the mothers of the soldiers who disappeared or whose remains were identified long after they had gone missing in war. In the part of the research that followed the testimonies and referred to the linking objects, the mothers were encouraged to talk about the significance of individual objects for them. Since the mothers were asked open-type questions and no response framework was imposed, they responded as much as they felt was suitable (Fig. 1). The questions were structured so that the answers to them referred to 1) material traits of objects; 2) usability that an object had while a person was still alive; and 3) the importance of the object for the bereaved in relation to other objects that remained after the disappearance of the son. The examinees were asked to allow filming the objects they considered “particularly valuable”. Classification of Objects We classified the linking objects that mothers kept in memory of their sons who were still missing at the time of research or whose remains were identified long time after he had gone missing, according to the Volkan’s classification of linking objects on the basis of their material traits (9). The following four groups of objects were formed: 1) objects that had been worn by the deceased, such as clothes, watch, ring, or glasses; 2) objects that could be viewed, in the psychoanalytic sense, as an extension of the body of the disappeared; 3) objects with realistic or symbolic resemblance to the deceased, often a photograph; 4) objects at hand when the news of the death came, or objects present at the funeral – things that could be considered “last-minute objects”, ie, related to the moments when the deceased was last seen alive.
Subjects and Methods Mothers Twenty-six mothers of disappeared Croatian soldiers participated in the research. They all lived in the Osijek-Baranja County (north-east Croatia). We approached the president of the Association of Families of Missing and Detained Croatian Soldiers (seated in the city of Osijek) with a wish to conduct the study, and she informed the mothers of soldiers, members of the Association. Mothers of missing civilians were not invited to participate. The mothers who agreed to testify were visited in July and August 2001, and interviewed in their homes. Their testimonies were recorded and photographs of the linking objects were taken. The age of the participants at the time of research ranged between 53 and 77 years; 15 mothers were housewives, whereas 11 had been employed at the time of the disappearance of their sons but had retired by the time of the study. Sixteen mothers lived with their husbands, two were divorced, and eight widowed (four of whom lost their husbands after the disappearance of their son). One of the mothers lost two sons, whereas two were looking for both a son and a grandson. One third of the mothers (12 of them) were exiled from their homes at the time when their sons disappeared. Sons In the Osijek-Baranja County, 122 persons are still missing. The remains of 171 persons had been exhumed in the county area until March 19, 2001, and 131 of them were identified (data from of the Association of Families of Missing and Detained Croatian Soldiers, 2001). Twenty-six interviewed mothers lost 27
Figure 1. A group of mothers of Croatian soldiers who disappeared in the 1991-1995 war in Croatia. The pain, grief, and effort of searching for their missing sons are so great that this research had to be conducted with great delicacy and respect.
Results Out of 26 objects that mothers kept in memory of the disappeared, we deciphered three Volkan’s groups of objects (Table 1), but the fourth Volkan’s group, that of the “last-minute objects”, was not found. Instead, we identified a group of objects that appeared to form a new, hitherto undescribed group (Table 1). There were 6/26 objects from the first Volkan’s group – ob235
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Table 1. Linking objects used by mothers of Croatian soldiers who had disappeared in the beginning of the 19911995 war Soldier initials disappeared (year)
Linking object
First Volkan's group: objects worn by the deceased (9) ZB 1991, identified 2000 shirta DJ 1991 jacket RJ 1991 prom suit MB 1991 the grandson of the bereaved mother, photographed in the wedding suit of his disappeared father MD 1991 earringa DK 1991 a chain taken during postmortem examinationa
Mother's comment "My son's dearest T-shirt; he always wore it when he wanted to look good." "This is the jacket he wore the last time I saw him; I have never seen him in the uniform." "The prom suit, in which I saw him as a full grown man; he was my oldest son." "My grandson took after his father, and he reminds me of my son." "He took off his earring before going to the army." The mother got the chain during the forensic identification procedure… "this chain convinced me that the deceased was my son."
Second Volkan's group: objects that can be viewed as an extension of the body (9) "I keep it in the cupboard; he had this keychain since childhood." DB 1991, identified 1997 keychain pendantb MG 1992 whisk of hairb "When he had his last haircut, I asked him to give me a whisk of his hair. He had beautiful long hair; oh, as though I knew that this would be the only part of him that would remain alive." DO 1991 doll from childhood "I saved this doll from his early childhood, because as a child he never separated from it." b DP 1991 hand-made lamp "My son made this lamp and hanged it on the wall; when working night-shifts at the railway, he would knock on our window to greet us… we will never sell the house… we want the lamp to stay in its place." Third Volkan's group: objects with realistic or symbolic resemblance to the deceased (9) BS 1991 a family photograph "This is a photograph of all my children and my disappeared son." (she also has a grandson missing in war, and appears to grieve him even more) "I carry his identification card in my wallet; it is impossible that so strong and handsome man MDK 1992 a photograph from the army c disappears." identification card IK 1991 a family photograph composed "This is all I have left." (the mother was displaced and all her possessions were destroyed in of different photographs the war; she got the photographs of her son from her relatives) VK 1991 a wedding photographc "My granddaughter reminds me of my son more than anything, even the photograph." SE 1991 a photograph taken from (all mother‘s possessions were destroyed in the war: "Nothing remained of my son; when the identification card country was liberated, they found his ID in a cabinet in his company, gave it to me, and I made a copy.") VO 1991, identified 1998 a wedding photograph "Nothing was left but a wedding photograph; I wanted to have the photo of him alone, so I cut him out and made a copy." IR 1991 a photographc "See how handsome he was." (the photograph was taken while the son served the former Yugoslav Federal Army, which killed him later, but she does not care) BU 1991, identified 1997 a photograph "This photograph was always on this wall; when he returns, the photo will still be there; I have burried a bone, for which somebody is grieving." (the mother denies her son's death) Noveld group of objects, finding of this study: religion-related, "memorial shrine" Mother is highly religious and goes to church several times a day. She pilgrims to Meðugorje, IÆ 1991 a photograph on the wall, Aljmaš, and other places where Virgin Mary appears. She believes that Mother of God surrounded by images of saintse understands her suffering because she has experienced the same (loss of her son Jesus). She says that is one of the many sufferings she went through in her life; the Lord gave her the burden because she was able to carry it. The priest helped her a lot; he said that she and other victims should not hate, which confused her. JG 1991 a shrine in a corner of the room There is also another altar, so two altars flank the chair. The mother is highly religious. Her son and a chair on which the used to rest on this small chair when he would return from work. She has had religious disappeared used to sit visions, with a message that the son was not dead. JŠ, TŠ 1991 photographs of the disappeared The third son has also disappeared, but later he returned home alive. She believes that the sons in the living room surrounded other two will also return alive. Once, while resting in bed, she felt that the youngest son e by sculptures of saints approached her and kissed her cheek – the sign that he is alive. Enemy soldiers cut her father alive to pieces using a motor saw, but she thinks that the father's death is unimportant in comparison with what she suffered for her sons. F 1991, identified 2000 a photograph surrounded by The mother regrets that she is not dead. When she sits at the table to dine, she feels as though flowers on one end of the her son sat at the other side of the table. She always sits on the side of the table opposite to the table in the dining room window, so that she can watch outside; her son used to knock at the door and say, "Mum, I am here". She felt safe that way; there was no need for him to enter the house. IT 1991 a photograph placed in the She experienced many losses, her other 4 children died early in childhood, but this (son and mother's prayer book together grandson disappearing in war) is not the same. She has felt as though her son was not fit for with a picture of St. Anthonye war – too gentle. She felt a need to protect him. Still, by putting his photograph into a prayer book (she is illiterate), she wants to protect him. She prays to St. Anthony because he protects the poor, as she has been all her life. She feels guilty for living in an apartment the government gave her after her son's death. B 1991, identified 2001 a photograph on the kitchen wall The son is always with them, and the grave is close by. They wanted the most beautiful surrounded by a crucifix and a tombstone, not a common one. Feels guilty for receiving pension from the government; every sculpture of Virgin Mary month, when the pension arrives, she feels as though she takes something that is her son's. JV 1991 a photograph in the living room They are refugees from Vojvodina, FR Yugoslavia. The son volunteered to the Croatian Army, surrounded by a picture of and their Serb neighbors considered them an "Ustaša" family. They were prosecuted and Virgin Mary and Jesus' Heart interrogated about the whereabouts of their son. They did not know and had to leave. The mother does not believe her son is dead, because he was exceptionally capable; she thinks he was captured and taken to Kosovo (FR Yugoslavia) where he works deep underground in a mine as a slave. If he could, he would contact her. ZT 1991 a photograph in the living room The son carried the food to the encircled Vukovar (12) through the cornfields. A shell hit the surrounded by pictures of van and the witnesses claim her son died. There are no remains, and the mother refused to Virgin Mary recognize her son's death. She watched Novi Sad (Serbian) TV, and saw reportage from the place of the incident. Far away in the cornfield, she saw the corn moving and thus believes her son has escaped. Also (she maintains) she received anonymous telephone calls from the people telling her that her son was alive and where he was. She regularly changes the flowers on the home altar. a Linking objects shown in Fig. 2. b Linking objects shown in Fig. 3. c Linking objects shown in Fig. 4. d Not described among Volkan‘s original four groups (9). e Linking objects shown in Fig. 5.
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jects which had been worn by the deceased, such as a piece of clothing, watch, ring or glasses (Table 1, Fig. 2); 4/26 objects which had not been worn (in the usual sense) by the dead but could be viewed, in the psychoanalytic sense, as an extension of their bodies (Table 1, Fig. 3); and 8/26 objects with realistic or symbolic resemblance to the deceased, often a photograph (the third Volkan’s group, Table 1, Fig. 4). None of the 26 objects belonged to the fourth Volkan’s group, ie, to the group of objects at hand when the news of the death came, or objects present at the funeral, ie, “last minute objects”. The remaining 8/26 objects, which did not belong to any of the Volkan’s groups, had common characteristics and constituted a group of objects that actually represented a “situation” (Table 1, Fig. 5). Each of these objects was put in a special place and surrounded by other items. This formed a “memorial shrine” to the disappeared in which the linking object occupied a central position. For example, a photograph of the disappeared son occupied the central place at some sort of altar, and was surrounded by Christian (Catholic) iconographic symbols (Virgin Mary, crucifix, St. Anthony), flowers, and candles (Fig. 5). This memorial shrine to the beloved one who disappeared was always located in the room where the family spent most of their time and/or where the guests were received (living room or kitchen) (Fig. 5). Discussion Our study showed that all interviewed mothers from north-east Croatia whose sons disappeared in
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the 1991-1995 war preserved and cherished an object that linked them with their missing sons. Psychodynamic and visual analysis of these objects revealed that 6 of them belonged to the Volkan’s (1972) group one, 4 to the group two, and 8 to the group three, whereas none of the 26 objects could be classified as belonging to the fourth Volkan’s group (“last-minute objects”). The only difference between Volkan’s and our sample was the fact that we studied the sample of mothers whose sons were soldiers who disappeared in war, whereas Volkan (9,13) studied persons mourning their beloved ones who died a non-violent death. Our main finding, however, was identification of a novel, relatively homogenous group of objects (in 8 out of 26 mothers), which occupied a central place in the “memorial shrine” to the disappeared son (Fig. 5). This group of objects could be clearly associated with Catholic religious culture and tradition, both by their content (religious iconography) and by mothers’ interpretation of their sons’ destiny, where religious beliefs, associations, and even psychotic visions had a deep religious meaning (Table 1). The linking of the memorial shrine with the elements of Christian iconography can symbolically be related to fanaticism and the wish of the bereaved to ascribe a saint-like dimensions to the disappeared. The “memorial shrine” can bear a character of an altar and represent an expression of patriotism and sacrifice for the Homeland, since all of the disappeared were soldiers who participated in the war as defenders of their country. This fact additionally supports the form of externalization,
Figure 2. The first group of linking objects (selected from those listed in Table 1) used by mothers of disappeared Croatian soldiers in the mourning process of their sons. This group comprises objects which had been worn by deceased, such as a piece of clothing, a watch, a ring, or glasses (9). Left – T-shirt of ZB; middle – earring of MD; right – a chain taken during postmortem examination of DK, who disappeared in 1991 and was identified and buried in 1997.
Figure 3. The second group of linking objects (selected from those listed in Table 1) used by mothers of disappeared Croatian soldiers in the mourning process of their sons. This group of objects is defined as objects which had not been worn (in the usual sense) by the dead but which could be viewed in the psychoanalytic sense as an extension of their bodies (9). Left – keychain pendant of DB; middle – a whisk of hair of MG; right – hand-made lamp of DP.
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Figure 4. The third group of linking objects (selected from those listed in Table 1) used by mothers of disappeared Croatian soldiers in the mourning process of their sons. This group of objects is defined as objects with realistic or symbolic resemblance to the deceased, often a photograph (9). Left – an army identification card with the photograph of MD; middle – a wedding photograph of VK; right – a photograph of IR.
Figure 5. The group of linking objects used by mothers of disappeared Croatian soldiers in the mourning process of their sons (selected from those listed in Table 1). This group of objects has not been defined by Volkan (9). These linking objects actually form a “situation”. The central (linking) object is surrounded by additional items, and they all together form a “memorial shrine”. The whole setting resembles some form of altar, embellished with Christian (Catholic) iconographic symbols (Virgin Mary, crucifix), flowers, and candles. This “memorial shrine” to the disappeared son is always located in the room where the family spends most of their time and/or where the guests are received (living room or kitchen). Left – a wall photograph of IÆ, surrounded by images of saints; middle – photographs of the disappeared sons JŠ and TŠ in the living room, surrounded by sculptures of saints; right – a photograph of IT glued in the mother’s prayer book together with a picture of St. Anthony.
because it gives a saintly aura both to the victim and to his family members. Furthermore, the arrangement of memorial shrine is never final. Its handiness allows the bereaved person to perfect and embellish it endlessly. This form of externalization of the relation between the bereaved and their disappeared/lost sons can also have a socializing role for the bereaved (14). The fact that the missing person was a soldier who disappeared in the liberation of the Homeland implies that he was performing his civil duty, which in turn gives the right to the bereaved to express his/her mourning publicly. Linking objects from the Volkan’s group one, ie, various pieces of clothing, were the objects that mothers kept most frequently. Clothes were carefully stored in the house of the bereaved. Showing clothes of the disappeared son was always accompanied by certain words and, normally, emotional charge. Somewhat less frequently (Table 1) we found ornamental objects (earrings, rings, necklaces), which could have represented an object important for identification of the remains in cases of exhumation (15). Two objects from this group, a jacket of DJ and an earring of MD, were not classified as the “last minute objects” (Volkan’s group 4) (9). Although both objects were associated with mothers’ last view of their sons, the objects were not related to their sons’ death, be238
cause both men died later and objects were not connected with their death. The objects that the bereaved mothers kept as an extension of the body of the disappeared (Volkan’s group 2) were highly personalized in real and symbolic sense (9). They were shown and talked about in the same way in which a religious person accosts the relics of a saint. One gets an impression of singularity of this group of linking objects as compared with others because of an especially rich investment of emotions and fantasies associated with these objects. Photographs (Volkan’s group 3, Table 1, Fig. 3) were perhaps closest to the reality of the actual existence of the disappeared persons (9). Since mothers tried to compensate for the loss of family photo albums destroyed during the war, the photos of the disappeared were usually enlarged, retouched from identification cards or composed of other, different photographs preserved by relatives and friends. This evidences the efforts of the bereaved to restore their personal histories and memories. In general, the feelings of vagueness and disbelief prevailed in the testimonies of all mothers. We cite their often-used term “vague” in the sense in which it was used by the mothers of disappeared persons. What is termed “vague” by the mothers would correspond to ambivalence in the psychodynamic
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sense. Ambivalence in a broader sense denotes simultaneous action of opposed attitudes or feelings in relation towards an object (16), as in the case of a disappeared son. Through ambivalence as a compromise formation (16), mothers work out their relationship to the loss of sons. Ambivalence represents an interspace in which mourning is to be suppressed and creates a transitional space in accepting death as a result of a loss. Besides a supposed comfort for the loss, it also offers a possibility of adaptation to it. We believe that ambivalence is the first step in the process of mourning and that it has a protective function for the bereaved person. Ambivalence serves to suppress stress and to enable the person to face horrible reality. It is an expression of hope so that the experienced suffering could end in overcoming the loss and grief. The compromised interspace created by the ambivalence allows distancing of the bereaved from the outside reality and a partial immersion into the personal world of suffering. The main weakness of our study is questionable quality of the analyzed sample as representative of the population of the bereaved mothers. First, the research situation was very delicate, and we were unable to search for and obtain a properly randomized sample. Thus we opted for an exclusion of the researchers from the selection process. It would be interesting and important to study this population of war victims in a randomized sample representing the whole population of mothers of missing soldiers in Croatia. Comparisons of different counties could offer interesting data, because albeit relatively small, Croatia is a rather versatile country, both geographically and culturally. Correlations with religious beliefs and practice would strengthen our finding of the novel, religion-related group of linking objects. Although Croatia is grossly a Catholic country, and all investigated mothers of disappeared soldiers were indeed Catholics, without a comparison with a control group of mothers belonging to other Christian and/or non-Christian religions we cannot reach unequivocal conclusions. Second, the sample analyzed was relatively too small to allow statistically convincing conclusions. Finally, the methods of psychoanalytic assessments are subjective, so more definite conclusions would require repetition of analysis by independent researchers. However, we believe that the present level of precision of our study allows us to conclude that the linking objects indicate that the process of mourning for a disappeared son is an outward-directed process, and that the memorial shrine is an ultimate expression of pathological grief. The fact that the memorial shrine is located at home, and thus always accessible, allows the bereaved person to perfect and embellish it over and over again, which sustains external mourning. Specific circumstances of the disappearance of a soldier in war ascribe a social significance to the disappearance and indirectly stress this form of pathological mourning. This outward-directed form of
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mourning has a socializing function for the bereaved, whereas the social recognition of the right to mourn additionally sustains this type of behavior. Acknowledgment We are indebted to Dr Matko Marušiæ for encouraging us to write this paper, his assistance in our fieldwork, and critical reading of the manuscript.
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