masters in London at the moment, so we've had to deal with long distance. It's frustrating, mostly because whenever I fl
SUBMISSION TO THE CONSTITUTIONAL CONVENTION MARCH 2013 TOPIC: EQUAL ACCESS TO CIVIL MARRIAGE IN IRELAND Who Are We? The Union of Students in Ireland is the national representative organisation for over 250,000 students in Ireland. We have over 30 affiliated Students’ Unions across the country. The Union of Students in Ireland is an inclusive organisation that values equality and diversity. Article 3.4 of the USI constitutions states that: ‘USI regards the defence and promotion of all democratic and human rights as a core goal of the organisation.’
MARRIAGE EQUALITY: A STUDENT ISSUE
Students from across Ireland are in support of equal access to civil marriage in Ireland. The enthusiasm to campaign on the issue of marriage equality and the rights of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender persons is evident among the student body. We believe that the time has come for marriage equality in Ireland and we would also welcome the opportunity to address the Convention on this issue. We believe that it is possible to legislate for marriage equality without a referendum by amending the Civil Registration Act, 2004 to define marriage in gender neutral terms. Our submission includes personal testimonies from students and student leaders on why this issue is so important to students. We encourage members of the Convention to listen to these personal testimonies. Statement of Support for USI’s Submission: ‘This proposal from the USI is extremely welcome, both in terms of its content and its timing. Our universities, vitally, foster engagement with social understandings of justice and equality, both in terms of what we pursue through our research and in the learning processes that students and staff engage in together. We work together for a society defined and determined by a fullyinformed desire for equality and justice. As Dean of Students at Trinity College Dublin, part of my role is to encourage and facilitate all of our students in developing their full potential in every aspect of their lives. For this reason, both professionally and personally, I wholeheartedly endorse this proposal.’Professor Amanda Piesse, Dean of Students, Trinity College Dublin
At our last annual USI Congress in 2012, a motion to campaign for LGBT rights, including marriage equality was unanimously passed by our members.
Full Text of the USI Motion and Mandate: Congress notes with grave concern: That despite our claims to be a progressive nation we do not recognise the rights of LGBT members of the community as being fully and unequivocally equal to those of heterosexual orientation. Congress further notes: The failure to recognise equality in our legislation undeniably leads to a failure to see people as equals in our classrooms, our lecture theatres, our campuses and our workplaces. Congress believes: This failure to lead both directly and indirectly to a lesser standard of living for members of the LGBT community. That it leads to the denial of rights to children raised by same sex parents and to gross negligence on the part of the state by indirectly condoning bullying and torment for people who identify as LGBT. Congress therefore mandates: The President, the Vice-President for Campaigns and the VicePresident for Equality & Citizenship to vehemently campaign on the full equalisation of rights regardless of sexual orientation, for full and equal marriage rights, full and equal adoption rights and for this union to recognise LGBT members as full and equal members of society in recognition of the rights laid out above.
In a recent survey conducted by UCD Students’ Union, it was found that out of 900 surveyed, 91% of students are in support of marriage equality. An Equal Marriage demonstration was organised by UCD Students’ Union and supported by USI in early August 2012 outside the Department of An Taoiseach.
Below is a transcript of the short speech Union of Students in Ireland Vice President for Equality and Citizenship gave at the Rainbow Wedding outside the Department of the Taoiseach. The slogan of USI’s Equality and Citizenship campaign is ‘Demand a Better Future.’
The Future We Demand ‘Our generation knows what future we want for ourselves, for our friends and for our families. This is a future where children, no matter what their gender identity or sexual orientation is, can aspire to have the same dreams and quality of life as their peers.
They will see role models in their everyday lives who are openly lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender – teachers, sportspeople, public representatives; aunties and uncles, brothers and sisters. They will be able to enjoy their childhoods free from homophobic or transphobic bullying –because the society we are fighting for does not institutionalise or tolerate discrimination. The future we want is a future where young adults will not live in fear that their sexual orientation or gender identity will act as a barrier to employment or threaten their job security. These young adults will not have to ask their Taoiseach to announce his support for their rights or for the rights of their friends – because it will be a given. The future we aspire to is a future where all love is valued equally – where all couples have marriage equality, a future where generations like ours are not divided by inequality. All couples and families will be treated equally in the eyes of the law and by our society. All children will be recognised and protected – be they from same-sex or opposite sex families. Trans people will be treated with dignity. They will be able to have their gender identity recognised in a respectful manner that does not require them to be diagnosed with a disorder or force them to divorce. Our generation knows that LGBT rights are human rights. We refuse to accept the inequalities imposed upon our generation. By supporting our LGBT friends, by lobbying our TDs, by raising awareness and educating our peers – we will change Ireland for
the better, we will realise the future we are fighting for and we will not give up until we achieve this. We are standing on the right side of history. We hope you will stand with us.’
At the March for Marriage, organised by LGBT Noise last August, a large portion of the 5,000 who marched on the day were students.
USI launched its national LGBT Ally campaign on October 1st 2012.
Since the launch of this campaign, over 6,000 students have received our LGBT Ally bands and they have proven very popular with our members.
Sam Ryan, Deputy President of UCC Students’ Union talks about the LGBT Ally Campaign: ‘During my time in UCC I've seen the impact of the LGBT Society on campus as both a support network for LGBT students but, also as a group of activist fighting for the advancements of rights for their members. One campaign in particular that I think has had a tangible impact is the Ally Campaign, started in UCC and later rolled out across campuses in all four provinces by USI. The campaign allowed all people, LGBT or not, to express their support for their LGBT friends and family members. The power of that statement of solidarity was incredible. Many members of the LGBT Community, me included, were filled with such pride that our friends were willing to take a stand on our behalf. I'd urge the constitutional convention to take a stand on the behalf of young LGBT people all over Ireland and support full marriage equality.’ – Sam
Above is a sample of the USI LGBT Ally band.
‘When two people are in love with each other, and wish to commit their futures together…why deny them the opportunity of marriage? Surely, we all support our family & friends in whatever or whomever they love. Our society needs to move forward and stop discriminating against same-sex couples who love each other. I support marriage equality in Ireland.’- David Branagan, President of Dundalk Institute of Technology Students’ Union
Personal Testimony - Louise’s Story: ‘I first thought I might be gay when I was around 15, but didn’t have the courage to come out until 2 years ago, at the age of 22. To be honest, I don’t really remember a lot of those seven years, mainly because I’ve blocked a lot of it out. The final two years of secondary school were especially difficult. I felt very alone, so I focused on my work and thought of nothing but the thought of going to university to study law, which, happily, I managed to achieve. My college years were wonderful. I had fantastic friends who I made for life, a great social life, was getting decent grades and I was generally in a place where I wanted to be. However, I always felt that something was missing. I really didn’t want to be gay. My family are from farming stock, which as you can imagine doesn’t result in the most liberal of attitudes. My friends were all straight, and most people on first impression are usually amazed that I’m gay because I look just like any average 24 year old girl. I thought that lesbians were hugely different, and that I could never find someone like me. This made my third year of college in particular extremely depressing. I vividly remember staying in one night that my friends were going out simply so I could cry as loud as I wanted to for as long as I wanted to without them asking me what was
wrong, because then I’d have to tell them I thought I was gay. It was an incredibly lonely time. Once or twice I had one night stands, always being safe of course. I thought that if I just got it over and done with, I’d get over my aversion to being with a man. In reality, it made me feel wretched, and compounded my feeling of loneliness, isolation and depression. All the while, I kept a brave face, and in fourth year things really started to get better. I got a great job, I managed to get a first class honours in my degree, but most importantly, I met someone who taught me that being in a relationship with someone of the same sex really isn’t all that different to other relationships, because it all boils down to the same thing – love. For the first time in my life, I felt loved, secure and happy in myself. Over the course of the next year, I gradually came out to different groups of people, which was a terrifying, but a rewarding experience in most cases. On the day I write this, we’ve been going out for two years exactly. Like any other couple, we’ve had our ups and our downs about the usual issues – work, money, etc. I’m studying for my masters in London at the moment, so we’ve had to deal with long distance. It’s frustrating, mostly because whenever I fly back to Ireland to see her, I have to pretend to my parents that I’m not in the country, which I don’t think would be the case for straight couples that have been going out as long as we have. When my parents first found out, a year ago, it was extremely traumatic for both of us – they didn’t exactly take it well. The one thing that I would like to get across to those taking part in the constitutional convention is the fact that same sex relationships are no different than straight relationships. They’re no more exciting, they’re no less overcome by difficulties sometimes, and you still have the same hopes and dreams as straight couples – marriage, children and growing old together. I’m no different to the people in my class, or my sister who was recently married – it’s extremely difficult for me to understand why I’m treated differently by the law, simply because I found someone I love as opposed to remaining miserable and depressed.
I truly believe that the depression, isolation and loneliness experienced by many young LGBT people like myself stems from the fact that the minute you say the words aloud – ‘I am gay’ – you suddenly become unequal to your siblings and your peers under the law. Living in London for the past year and watching the same sex marriage debate take place, I am filled with positivity for the future. I just hope that the Ireland that I return to will offer me the same opportunities to be a normal and respected citizen as the country that I have turned down the opportunity to emigrate to in favour of coming home and contributing to the recovery of the nation I love. Personal Testimony: Amée’s Story: ‘In order to explain why I believe in the importance of marriage equality, I would like to take this opportunity to speak about my personal story. I had always been seen as a happy person, someone who was content with themselves and who oozed selfconfidence. I was the person that was always laughing, always heard before seen and always had something to say. But this wasn’t the case; I struggled for years with eating disorder after eating disorder, with long terrifying spells of chronic depression and with what led to constant binge drinking, self-harm and eventually suicidal thoughts. I never understood why I felt this way; I could never explain these feelings. I just felt this complete emptiness within myself, I did not know happiness and because I had these feelings since I was as young as twelve, they became a norm – my norm. In my third year of college, I finally began to understand why I had these mental health problems. After struggling for years, with the help of some very good friends, I came out as a Lesbian. I finally let myself acknowledge myself for the person I truly was. I let myself be the person I was supposed to be. Now, one year later, I am a strong, healthy, happy, true and whole person. I am true to my own feelings. My vision for Ireland begins with a nation that is proud. Proud of every single citizen regardless of whether they are gay or lesbian. I am not asking for anything special, I am asking for equality. How can the government of our country deny one of their citizens the right to marry the love of their life. Ultimately, my vision for Ireland is one of equality. I want to be given the
exact same rights as my straight brother. I want to be given the exact same rights as my parents. In the 21 st Century Ireland, how can we, the Irish Nation still not see equality as a priority within our society? I am an elected Students’ Union leader in the college that I attend. I have marched with thousands of people, young and old in an effort to fight for marriage equality. Students’ Unions across the country along with the Union of Students in Ireland represent our lesbian and gay students. We support equality for all. In order to achieve my vision for Ireland, we as a nation must join together and remove this stigma and prejudice attached to lesbian and gay citizens. We must join together to remove homophobic bullying. We must provide adequate services to facilitate those who have been victims of inequality – either due to the media, bullying, stigma, prejudice, or in my own case, turning on myself as society could not accept me. The first step to achieve this is to recognise equal marriage for all citizens. To every parent, grandparent, aunt, uncle, son, daughter, Irish citizen – Would you prefer a member of your family, someone who you love unconditionally to live a life full of emptiness, selfloathing and inequality or would you prefer them to live a full and happy life where every single one of their basic human rights are acknowledged without question, not only by every single citizen within the country that they have grown up in but by the nations governing authority? Personal Testimony: Ben’s Story: ‘My name is Ben Slimm and I’m a student in Tralee, Co: Kerry. Growing up in a largely rural area I have always been aware that there was something different about me. I had no word for how I felt until I reached secondary school and I was called Gay. Confusion, hurt and worry tormented me with this accusation. Was I gay? I hoped not, it certainly wasn’t ok to be gay. I must admit that this social anxiety pushed me into a depression. I did my very best to be ignored. I missed out on so many things a secondary student shouldn’t. The one that stands out in my mind was that I missed my Debs. My classmates didn’t even realise I didn’t go. I cannot blame anyone. I exiled myself.
One more example would be when my very favourite teacher was speaking about an article in the newspaper. He proclaimed to the entire class that he had no problem with homosexuality – but that marriage was between a man and a woman exclusively and should never be afforded to homosexuals. I found myself silently agreeing with him. To this day when I think back on this occasion I am disgusted with myself. This depression affected my grades. I hated school. Always worried about who would throw the next insult my way, I scraped through on my leaving cert which in turn prevented me obtaining the course I wanted. However I made it into college! I made friends – who accepted me for who I was with no questions. I am now lucky enough to be in a course I love, with a large group of friends and a great group of close friends. I love who I am. I can only speculate, but I believe strongly that if marriage equality had of been achieved before I started secondary school my anxiety would have been lessened. I’m not proposing it as a final solution, that will take years and a change in mindset that I believe has already been undertaken. Even then I would have been safe in the knowledge that my country recognised who I was and cared enough to offer me equality. I cannot go back and change my secondary school years, but it’s not too late for the next generation.’ Personal Testimony - Laura’s Story: ‘Language is a very powerful thing. I grew up in a small village in a Gaeltacht area of rural Ireland and from a very young age, I felt that I was somehow different but I could never verbalise how I felt. I didn’t have the words. Throughout primary and secondary school, I never heard the word gay or lesbian being mentioned in a positive way by any of my teachers or peers. The only times I heard it was in a derogatory manner, and always unchallenged. I myself began to frequently use the word ‘gay’ in a negative way and over the years I began to internalise the homophobia which surrounded me growing up.
When I started secondary school, I became more and more introverted - though I was lucky that I always had lots of friends. In secondary school, all my friends became interested in boys but I never had any interest. Instead, I pretended to be attracted to the opposite sex and actively lived out that lie to myself and everyone around me. It takes up most of your energy when you are constantly denying a fundamental part of yourself, living a lie and monitoring every word you say in case any one finds out. It erodes away at your sense of self. I always remember my sixteenth birthday when my mother collected me from school early as she said she wanted to take me out for the day as a surprise. It transpired later on in the day that she had found and read my journal and the suicidal thoughts I had expressed. Even in my journal, I could never bring myself to write down those words. It would be another four years before I would come out as ‘gay.’ I spent two years, on and off, in counselling when I was in college. I felt depressed during that time and drank a lot. Getting drunk allowed me to get with guys on nights out without having to feel fully present. Still, I refused to acknowledge the underlying issue. One day, I finally told my counsellor that I thought I was ‘gay.’ I remember confessing it to her as if I had committed a murderous crime. I felt like I was a criminal. Her reaction was so encouraging and I gradually began to accept that being gay wasn’t anything that I should be ashamed of. The day I came out to myself was the day I really began living my life how I wanted to live and not how I felt society wanted me to live. I started to regain a sense of self worth. Coming out to myself was the hardest part for me and I was lucky that my friends and family were very supportive. I was so lucky to have been able to join the LGBT Society in my college and I believe that the support I received changed the direction of my life in so many ways and helped me find a confidence in myself that I never had before. It gave me the opportunity to get involved in campaigning on LGBT issues and to fight for the future that I want and that I believe I deserve.
Civil partnership is not equality - even if the 169 differences between civil marriage and civil partnerships didn’t exist. When you call something different you make it different. Language and the words we use matter so much. Love is love. We have to put an end to the discrimination imposed on LGBT persons in Ireland and introducing marriage equality is crucial to realising this goal.’
The time has come for marriage equality in Ireland. Union of Students in Ireland (USI) Ceann Áras na Mac Léinn, Portview House, York Road, Dublin 4 Aontas na Mac Léinn in Éirinn (AMLÉ)
