Nanny 911 & Super Nanny - How Real are these Reality Shows

Nanny 911 & Super Nanny - How Real are these Reality Shows? By Jerry Milwit, from an article in Washington Parent May 2005 For years, in-home child care providers, or nannies, have been considered by many to be domestic service workers or "the help." So, as the owner of a nanny placement agency and babysitting service, I welcomed the introduction of two new and popular reality shows, "Nanny 911" and "Super Nanny," which portray nannies as intelligent and caring professionals. As a reality TV junkie already consumed with "The Apprentice," "The Bachelor" and "Survivor" (to name a few), I easily became immersed in these two almost identical shows airing on competing networks. In case you've missed them, they both begin with a few clips of a family in mayhem, somewhat dysfunctional with Mom and Dad trying to balance work and home life while attempting to parent their often rambunctious troublemakers, otherwise known as their "precious little ones." The camera captures Mom and Dad at wit's end, often in tears, appearing as if they have exhausted all their options, their marriage on the rocks and their parenting ability in serious question. The only answer: "The Nanny!" This modern day superhero is given one week to turn the Osbournes into the Waltons. With her British accent, poised and ever so confident, sometimes brash, the nanny monitors the family for a day and inevitably begins to formulate "the plan" to restore order to the household so everyone can live happily ever after. Not only is the family getting the nanny for the week, it appears this nanny is very skilled in psychology and marriage and family therapy. "I think the shows have been great," says Pat Cascio, president of the International Nanny Association. "American parents have been educated about who a professional nanny is and what she does. Nannies have always been respected in the U.K. and regarded as child care experts. These shows have demonstrated to the American audience what a professional nanny can be and what a positive difference she can make in a family." The true reality in this reality series, however, is that Hollywood is picking up the tab. But what about the rest of us with similar challenges keeping the household running in the midst of temper tantrums, sibling rivalry, potty training setbacks and the like? I interview child care professionals on a daily basis, and I certainly meet intelligent, extremely qualified caregivers. But they come at a cost, and often times a nanny with these credentials will earn quite a bit more than Mom or Dad–or both–making it financially impossible for the family to retain her for an extended period of time. However, one alternative may be to bring such a professional in for a short time to help out, even if it's just for a couple weeks. You can certainly watch these shows and pick up on some tips. Inevitably, the nanny will suggest some things we've all heard before but perhaps took for granted or ignored all together. Things such as, "Your child is yelling because you are yelling," and "If you don't provide a consequence for her unacceptable behavior, this behavior will escalate at an unbearable rate. On the contrary, providing positive reinforcement for good behavior elicits more good behavior." I'm not embarrassed to say that since watching one of the "Nanny 911" episodes, my wife and I implemented the "marble in the jar" technique with our 4-year-old daughter. When she exercises positive behavior we add a marble to the jar, and when she does something we deem unacceptable we take a marble out. The marbles accumulate during the course of the week (hopefully) and then can be cashed in for certain rewards. The "Nanny 911" and "Super Nanny" episodes involve the nanny implementing a daily schedule to modify behavior. These agendas incorporate everything from play and reading to meals and cleaning. According to Cascio, "Children need to know what to expect from their day. When there is no schedule, no predictability, it causes them to feel 'out of order,' thus they have a tendency to fuss, whine and throw tantrums. Research has proven that children's brains are chemically altered when they experience change in their routine. The less predictable their day is, the less content the children are and the less they are able to cope with change comfortably as they grow older. The nannies instinctively know that children need this regulated schedule and thrive in it. Though the nannies appear to be somewhat 'tough,' they always have the children's well-being at heart."

Often, just getting Mom and Dad some quality time alone may be just what the doctor–or "Nanny"– ordered. I'm always amazed at how many parents I speak with who have never left their kids alone with anyone but themselves. I'm not saying that's wrong but, on the contrary, I believe one of the greatest gifts you can give your children is a night out alone with your spouse. The kids will be exposed to other adults, and Mom and Dad get some much-needed adult time. There are many babysitting services, and some allow you to schedule evening or weekend dates several weeks in advance. The reputable services will conduct thorough screenings, including personal interviews and background checks, giving you the peace of mind to go out and enjoy yourselves. Back to "Nanny 911" and "Super Nanny": After a very emotional and intense week with the nanny, the shows typically end with everyone crying and hugging and thanking one another for being so brave. The nanny closed the deal, she restored order, the kids love their parents and the parents love their kids and they all love the nanny! A little cheesy, but entertaining nonetheless. I always find myself saying the same thing after each episode, "Yeah, let's have the nanny come back in a month and see how it's going." Perhaps the next reality series should be "The Nanny Returns"! Jerry Milwit is the president of Metropolitan Nannies, LLC, a nanny and babysitter referral agency in Herndon, Va. For more information, visit their website www.metronannies.com.