Just what the wider educational community needs a book written with passion
and ... What's great about this book is that it is written by a Montessori parent for ...
Parenting Book List
Montessori Education Montessori Madness by Trevor Eissler I am excited that our faculty will be reading Montessori Madness this summer for our summer reading selection. It is a very practical perspective from a parent that gives great insight and answers to the questions that our parent body seems to be seeking. This book gives us very tangible topics to discuss with parents in the upcoming years. —Michele Shane, Head of School, The Children's House Just what the wider educational community needs a book written with passion and understanding by a Montessori parent to other parents. Trevor Eissler is a rare parent who can put into writing his enthusiasm and first-hand experience as a Montessori advocate to other parents. —Barbara Gordon, President, Montessori Institute of Texas; Founder, Barbara Gordon Montessori School What's great about this book is that it is written by a Montessori parent for other parents who may or may not have already discovered Montessori education for their children. It's easy reading and passionately makes the case for choosing Montessori. —Nirvair Khalsa, Head of School, Khalsa Montessori School
Montessori: The Science Behind the Genius by Angeline Stoll Lillard "If you want to understand Montessori education in light of current developmental research, you should seize upon this authoritative, interesting book. I highly recommend it for parents, educators, students of education—anyone, in fact, who would like a closeup look at the real needs of the developing child." —Jane M. Healy, Ph.D., Educational Psychologist; author of Your Child's Growing Mind: Brain Development and Learning from Birth to Adolescence "Inspired educational thinkers such as Dewey or Vygotsky only sketched out ways that we might teach young children. Over more than 50 years, Maria Montessori successfully created a radically new teaching system—a system that endures and inspires to this day. Angeline Lillard shows how many of Montessori's practices anticipated some of the latest and best findings in developmental psychology while still others call out for future empirical analysis. Lillard's comprehensive and fascinating assessment gives Montessori the place that she deserves in contemporary debate about how we should best teach children." —Paul L. Harris, Professor of Education, Harvard Graduate School of Education "This is a really excellent book. The author is unusually well qualified to write it. Angeline Lillard is an internationally renowned researcher in the area of cognitivedevelopmental psychology, who also has extensive experience and deep knowledge regarding Montessori. The book is not only authoritative and scholarly, it is also very well organized and very clearly written, easily communicable to anyone with an interest
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in the area. I enjoyed reading it. —John Flavell, Anne T. and Robert M. Bass Professor, Emeritus, School of Humanities and Sciences, Stanford University "This is a great book. It is beautifully written, and expertly uses the psychological research literature to evaluate Montessori theory and practice. What an original and important contribution." —Carol Dweck, Professor of Psychology, Stanford University
The Absorbent Mind by Maria Montessori “This book deserves careful reading, for the author’s views are as relevant (and revolutionary) now as when they were first proposed.”—New York Times Book Review
How to Raise an Amazing Child the Montessori Way by Tim Seldin Adapted for easy use with children at home and based on the key ideas that create confident, independent children in Montessori schools, this inspiring book shows parents how to deal with children's physical and intellectual growth from birth to six years. About the Author: Currently President of The Montessori Foundation and Chair of the International Montessori Council, Tim Seldin is one of America's most respected Montessori educators and authors. He is the author of Celebrations of Life, The World in the Palm of Her Hand, and The Montessori Way: An Education for Life.
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General Parenting Books Taking Back Childhood: A Proven Roadmap for Raising Confident, Caring, Compassionate Kids by Nancy Carlsson-Paige Carlsson-Paige, a professor of early childhood education and conflict resolution at Lesley University and consultant for several PBS television shows, has a lot of practical advice for parents who want to build better—nonviolent, caring, creative—relationships with their children. Children don't need electronic gizmos and brainy software, she maintains; they do need lots of creative play opportunities, a strong sense of personal security and positive relationships with other children and adults. Carlsson-Paige encourages parents to model problem solving and cooperative behavior for their children. Thus, parents shouldn't use power over their kids (issuing orders, calling time-outs), but instead try power sharing, getting on the same side of a problem with the kids and figuring out a resolution together. Parents should stop buying pre-scripted media-based toys (Power Rangers, Nemo spinoffs) and instead buy open-ended toys like blocks and modeling clay that allow children to expand their creativity. There is not much new here, and CarlssonPaige is often preaching to the choir, but readers will want to believe in her argument that compassionate parenting will produce a less violent and more humane world. “Brims with practical advice for the challenges parents face today.” —Daniel Goleman, bestselling author of Emotional Intelligence and Social Intelligence “Today’s parents need this book.” —Marion Wright Edelman, President, Children’s Defense Fund
All Grown Up and No Place to Go: Teenagers in Crisis by David Elkind In All Grown Up and No Place to Go, David Elkind methodically maps out teenagehood for his readers in three parts. In the first section he details bodily and emotional changes that take place within the young person, illustrating his observations with popular young adult literature, interviews and personal experiences. In the second section he turns to the growing obstacles that face youth in these changing times. Finally, in the third and final section Elkind cleverly identifies the physical, social, emotional and familial results stress causes in the lives of young people growing up in America. Through categorizing and characterizing the differing types of stress the young person faces, Elkind addresses the differing reactions that result from differing typologies of personalities of young people and finally ends with a chapter suggesting possible suggestions to deal with the different kinds of stresses. Through reading Elkind's summarization of the teen years the reader recalls the awkward years that he/she survived on the way to adulthood. From the physical to the emotional to the spiritual issues that mushroom in the lives of the adolescent, the reader is reminded and therefore able to empathize with the struggles teens face from within themselves as well as from outside influences. With this deeper level of understanding of the teenage Inly School
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world, Elkind's concept of the patchwork self does much to enlighten the readers as to behaviors they may identify in their own past as well as in the youth that populate the halls of high schools, youth centers and churches alike.
How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk: 20th Anniversary Edition by Adele Faber Here is the bestselling book that will give you the know-how you need to be more effective with your children—and more supportive of yourself. Enthusiastically praised by parents and professionals around the world, the down-to-earth, respectful approach of Faber and Mazlish makes relationships with children of all ages less stressful and more rewarding. Now, in this Twentieth Anniversary Edition, these award-winning experts share their latest insights and suggestions based upon feedback they've received over the years. Amazon.com review Their methods of communication - illustrated with delightful cartoons showing the skills in action-offer innovative ways to solve common problems. You'll learn how to: • • • • • •
Cope with your child's negative feelings: frustration, disappointment, anger, etc. Express your anger without being hurtful Engage your child's willing cooperation Set firm limits and still maintain goodwill Use alternatives to punishment Resolve family conflicts peacefully
Siblings Without Rivalry: How to Help Your Children Live Together So You Can Live Too by Adele Faber With a title like this, it's no surprise that authors Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish had a monster bestseller on their hands when the book first appeared in 1988. From the subsequent deluge of readers' stories, questions, and issues, they have created nearly 50 pages of new material for this, the 10th anniversary edition. The central message remains the same, and sounds almost too simple: avoid comparisons. But parents know that's easier said than done. The value of Faber and Mazlish's discussions is precisely that they talk you through umpteen different situations and outcomes to help you teach your brawling offspring a new set of responses. The highly informative text is punctuated with helpful summary/reminder boxes and cartoons illustrating key points. It's a must-read for parents with (or planning on) multiple children. But parents of young children who get along fine (so far) should read it too—as the authors make very clear, rivalry is inevitable. The only question is how to manage the rivalry with intelligence and compassion, and on that subject they offer a wealth of good advice. (Amazon.com)
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Silver Spoon Kids: How Successful Parents Raise Responsible Children by Eileen Gallo, Jon Gallo and Kevin Gallo From the Back Cover:
Being an affluent parent comes with its own particular set of concerns and responsibilities. This is relevant not only to the superrich but also to the millions of families whose children are exposed to material abundance. While many parents know how to capitalize on their wealth financially, they aren't as certain how to make sure money doesn't spoil their children. This expert handbook can show you how. A mix of practical tips, instructive real-life stories and anecdotes, and highly effective advice, Silver Spoon Kids addresses the how and the equally important why of instilling in your family a healthy relationship with money in your family. Here you'll find out how to: • • • • • •
Talk to your child about money in general—and your money specifically Be sure your child doesn't become spoiled Use an allowance to teach your child to use money responsibly Foster a philanthropic outlook in your child Define your family's most important values and communicate them effectively Avoid your nightmare of an unmotivated, underachieving, materialistic child
Also included are helpful checklists, self-tests, and Silver Nuggets—brief bits of wisdom and advice that you can quickly put to use. In an age of unprecedented wealth, unlimited credit, and rampant materialism, this practical, timely book can help you raise welladjusted, emotionally and financially secure children.
Cliques: Eight Steps to Help Your Child Survive the Social Jungle by Charlene Giannetti The authors of The Roller Coaster Years, which PW named one of the Best Books of 1997, and Parenting 911 examine the subtle but powerful influence that peer pressure, most notably in the form of cliques, can have on children, generally starting during the middle school years (when kids are between the ages of 10 and 15), and offer parents effective aids to helping their kids whether they are bullies, victims or observers manage the larger world of friendships and associations beyond their family at a time when they are also wrestling with issues of self-identity and self-worth. Among the authors' suggestions are "help your child develop... an objective view of cliques" and "help your child control emotions," but, they caution, there are certain things, such as "prevent[ing] others from judging your child," that are beyond parents' scope of control or influence. "Cliques deal in social power," aver Giannetti and Sagarese, and even those kids who are considered popular suffer from insecurities about whether or not they'll continue to fit in. In fact, Giannetti and Sagarese have found that kids in "middle friendship circles" (the clique into which most kids fall), who are neither competing for popularity nor are antisocial loners, are usually the happiest. Once again, Giannetti and Sagarese deliver a positive, proactive book for parents that offers cogent (often anecdotal) examples of particular problems that occur with social interaction among middle schoolers and presents effective strategies for handling them. Cliques can be a serious problem, but keeping things in perspective is helpful all the way around. (Publisher’s Weekly) Inly School
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The Rollercoaster Years by Charlotte Giannetti For the 20 million parents of 10- to 15-year-olds, The Roller-Coaster Years is a lively guide to mastering the ups and downs of early adolescence. Every parent knows about the terrible twos and the brooding teens, but few have anticipated the wild ride of these magical yet maddening years that can provide all the thrills and chills of a carnival ride. "Honest, insightful, contemporary and helpful. Seldom will you find solid research and sound advice packaged so engagingly." —John H. Lounsbury, National Middle School Association "Parenting children during the 'tween years from ten to fifteen is like building a bridge that enables young persons to cross from childhood into adulthood. The practical and informative tools in this book will help you bring out the best in your teenager—and yourself." —William Sears, M.D.
Too Much of a Good Thing: Raising Children of Character in an Indulgent Age by Daniel J. Kindlon Kindlon (coauthor of Raising Cain), a psychologist, has spent time surveying and speaking to parents and kids in an effort to understand teen-rearing today. In addition to a scientific survey (Parenting Practices at the Millennium), which focuses on issues such as whether today's teens consider themselves spoiled, how many use drugs, how many do household chores, what families have dinner together regularly, whether all or only rich kids have cell phones, etc., Kindlon also draws on anecdotal data. As a psychologist at various schools, he has listened to parents protesting the suspension of a son accused of plagiarism the parents didn't find anything wrong with taking material off the Internet. Students have told Kindlon that their parents are never home or, in some cases, when they expect a punishment, that their parents do nothing. Educators as well as parents and grandparents will effortlessly identify with many of the situations Kindlon describes. After all, particularly among the baby boomer generation with seemingly unlimited funds, as parents indulge themselves, it's fairly apparent that their children will do so as well. Kindlon offers sound, albeit brief, advice; in the chapter on life skills, for example, he urges parents to help their kids acquire interests that will hold their attention. He believes that even spending one hour a day with kids not necessarily at mealtime is helpful. While this book is handy, a better organization with chapter summaries of advice would have made it even stronger. (Amazon.com)
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Unconditional Parenting: Moving from Rewards and Punishments to Love and Reason by Alfie Kohn Author of nine books, including the controversial Punished by Rewards, Kohn expands upon the theme of what's wrong with our society's emphasis on punishments and rewards. Kohn, the father of young children, sprinkles his text with anecdotes that shore up his well-researched hypothesis that children do best with unconditional love, respect and the opportunity to make their own choices. Kohn questions why parents and parenting literature focus on compliance and quick fixes, and points out that docility and short-term obedience are not what most parents desire of their children in the long run. He insists that "controlling parents" are actually conveying to their kids that they love them conditionally—that is, only when they achieve or behave. Tactics like time-out, bribes and threats, Kohn claims, just worsen matters. Caustic, witty and thought-provoking, Kohn's arguments challenge much of today's parenting wisdom, yet his assertion that "the way kids learn to make good decisions is by making decisions, not by following directions" rings true. Kohn suggests parents help kids solve problems; provide them with choices; and use reason, humor and, as a last resort, a restorative time away (not a punitive time-out). This lively book will surely rile parents who want to be boss. Those seeking alternative methods of raising confident, well-loved children, however, will warmly embrace Kohn's message. Kohn is a controversial and popular author/speaker, well regarded by scholars and educators. This title should appeal to parents who want to explore the "whys" and not just the "hows" of raising kids. (Publishers Weekly)
The Blessings of a Skinned Knee: Using Jewish Teachings to Raise SelfReliant Children by Wendy Mogel Frustrated with a therapeutic practice that "shifted too frequently to be an anchor" for parents struggling with issues like overindulgence and overscheduling, clinical psychologist Mogel turned to her religious heritage for ways to help her clients and her own family to"find grace and security" in an increasingly complex world. "In the timetested lessons of Judaism, I discovered insights and practical tools that spoke directly to these issues," writes Mogel, who left her psychology practice in order "to help parents look at their children's anxieties and desires using a different lens." Digging into the rich traditions of the Torah, the Talmud and other Jewish teachings, Mogel builds a parenting blueprint that draws on core spiritual values relevant to families of all faiths. With warmth and humor, she offers strategies for encouraging respect and gratitude in children, and cautions against overprotection ("we treat our children's lives like we're cruise ship directors who must get them to their destination of adulthood smoothly, without their feeling even the slightest bump or wave") and the pressure of "Lake Wobegon parenting" (a reference to Garrison Keillor's fictional town where "all the children are above average"). Her thoughtful observations consistently illuminate and reassure. Impassioned, lyrical and eminently practical, this inspiring volume is a real treasure.
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Hold On to Your Kids: Why Parents Need to Matter More Than Peers by Gordon Neufeld, Ph. D. “Like countless other parents, Canadian doctors Neufeld and Maté woke up one day to find that their children had become secretive and unreachable. Pining for time with friends, they recoiled or grew hostile around adults. Why? The problem, Neufeld and cowriter Maté suggest, lies in a long-established, though questionable, belief that the earliest possible mastery of the rules of social acceptance leads to success. In a society that values its economy over culture, the book states, the building of strong adult/child attachments gets lost in the shuffle. Multiple play dates, day care, preschool and after school activities groom children to transfer their attachment needs from adults to their peers. They become what the authors call "peer oriented." The result is that they squelch their individuality, curiosity and intelligence to become part of a group whose members attend school less to learn than to socialize. And these same children are bullying, shunning and murdering each other, as well as committing suicide, at increasing rates. The authors' meticulous exploration of the problem can be profoundly troubling. "Hold on to Your Kids blows in from Canada like a Blue Northern, bringing us genuinely new ideas and fresh perspectives on parenting. The authors integrate psychology, anthropology, neurology and their own personal and professional experiences as they examine the 'context' of parenting today. This is a worthy book with practical implications for mom and dad." —Dr. Mary Pipher, author of Reviving Ophelia
Sex and Sensibility by Deborah M. Roffman Is there any topic more controversial than the sexual education of our children? Parents worry about telling too much or not enough, schools are restricted in what they're allowed to discuss, and kids are filled with a combination of surprising misinformation and depressing detail on disease without ever having been taught about the possible benefits and enjoyment of feeling comfortable with their bodies. Deborah Roffman, a longtime teacher of sexual education for both children and adults, has assembled a thorough book that attempts to address moral and physical issues for every age. Sex and Sensibility is decidedly not for those whose sex speech begins and ends with "just say no." Roffman's take on sexual education is that it is a lifelong exploration that should encompass changing cultural values and an individual's personally evolving ethics as well as the practical facts of proper health care. Put plainly in one section's title, "sexuality is about people, not body parts." Including a discussion of gender roles and history, and appropriate levels of information for everyone from toddlers to teens, Roffman attempts to cover all the bases with a mix of theory, historical perspective, personal stories from her own classrooms and kids, and practice questions and situations that parents can eventually expect from their children. Breaking down this complicated subject, she identifies five core needs that all questions fall under: affirmation, information giving, values clarification, limit setting, and anticipatory guidance. This last category relates to parents' ultimate goal of making Inly School
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themselves "dispensable," secure in the knowledge that their children have been raised with all the information needed to make the right decisions for themselves—decisions that will result in a sexual health that blends their emotions, minds, and bodies with ultimate success. (Amazon.com)
The Over-Scheduled Child: Avoiding the Hyper-Parenting Trap by Alvin Rosenfeld and Nicole Wise If you've just sat down after a day that included taking your very intelligent child to a Kumon math tutoring session, shuttling another to soccer practice and piano lessons, supervising the homework of both to make sure it's perfect, and making a midnight trip to the grocery store to pick up the organic grapes for tomorrow's nutritionally balanced lunches, then Hyper-Parenting: Are You Hurting Your Child by Trying Too Hard? is for you. According to authors Alvin Rosenfeld, M.D., and Nicole Wise, there's a lot of this kind of hyper-parenting going on out there. This parenting style can be loosely defined as one that attempts to control everything in a child's environment with the aim of achieving a perfect outcome. It's not realistic or healthy, say the authors. Chapter by chapter, examining everything from parents' reliance on "expert" opinions to the huge impact of media messages on parent behavior, Rosenfeld and Wise make a compelling argument for their premise. They encourage parents to turn the lens inward and ask themselves what messages they are sending—not with their words, but with their behavior. HyperParenting is a book for parents at every stage in the parenting game. It's never too late, or too early, to try to tune out some of the noisy clamor around us and thoughtfully reflect on our values and what we really want for our children. (Amazon.com)
Free-Range Kids by Lenore Skenazy Skenazy flies the black flag of “America’s Worst Mom,” a title this syndicated columnist and NPR commentator earned by allowing her nine-year-old son to ride the New York City public transit alone in 2008. Here, she puts parents’ fears to bed by examining the statistical likelihood of the dangers we most fear (murder, baby-snatching, etc.). Drawing on facts, statistics, and humor, she convincingly argues that this is one of the safest periods for children in the history of the world, reiterating that “mostly, the world is safe…and mostly, people are good.” Even the lowest-flying helicopter parents would have trouble disagreeing that “we have entered an era that says you cannot trust yourself. Trust a product instead.” Skenazy argues that it’s time to retire the national pastime of worrying and that “childhood is supposed to be about discovering the world, not being held captive.” The obvious has never been so hilarious. (Library Journal, starred review) “Skenazy will find plenty of supporters for her contention that, in a world where the rights of chickens to roam freely are championed, it's time to liberate the kids.” (The Wall Street Journal, April 24, 2009)
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Our Last Best Shot: Guiding Our Children Through Early Adolescence by Laura Sessions Stepp It's pretty much agreed that adolescence is a tough time. So difficult, argues Stepp, that at the onset it is "our last best shot" at helping our children grow and thrive, encouraging their creativity, keeping emotions channeled, expanding their knowledge, awakening their dreams, and letting them go. Parents, she continues, are universally confused over what's normal and what leads to trouble, a problem that causes them to do the wrong thing or else nothing at all. Through case studies of 12 children in Los Angeles, Durham, NC, and Ulysses, KS, Stepp shows readers the intricacies of teens' lives, their schools, friends, and families. Here, the problems of early adolescence (ages ten to 15) are compounded by society: broken homes, lack of friends at school, crime in neighborhoods, animosities between races, poverty, ADD, drugs and alcohol, and more. Kids need to find something they're good at, and they need adults-not their parents-as friends and role models. Each chapter concludes with an analysis of the teen's life and how problems could be alleviated. Stepp, a Pulitzer Prize-winning writer at the Washington Post, draws in her audience; her skill ate writing case studies is so exceptional that readers will come away feeling as if they know the kids very well and emphasize with the lot that society has dealt them. This is extremely positive and excellent book; recommended for teachers, parents, and community adults. (Library Journal)
Best Friends, Worst Enemies: Understanding the Social Lives of Children by Michael Thompson Not since Dr. Spock or Penelope Leach has there been such a sensitive and practical guide to raising healthy children and this one doesn't end at potty training. Child therapists Thompson (coauthor of bestseller Raising Cain) and Cohen (Playful Parenting) have teamed up with Washington Post columnist and children's writer Grace (all three are parents) to describe the social lives of kids and the appropriate roles of parents, teachers and school administrators. They explore the stages of children's development, from parent-bonded to quasi-asocial toddler, the learning-the-rules phase in elementary school and adolescent and romantic bonding. Each phase may bring some negative experiences including some outright cruelty that can be hard on both parents and children, but sometimes necessary for learning about the world. They advise parents to think of themselves as "lifeguards" at the pool, aware of what's going on with their kids, but only intervening in the rare crisis. The book wraps up on a practical note, with chapters on how schools can be proactive and how parents can be most useful. Their advice? Don't worry so much, set a good example, keep perspective and relax most kids turn out okay. Thompson and Grace's breezy "we've all been there" anecdotal style will bring great comfort to any parents who're worried about their kid's social life in other words, any parent.
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The Pressured Child: Helping Your Child Find Success in School and Life by Michael Thompson “The Pressured Child brilliantly reclaims childhood for children. Read this book, follow its advice, and you will reharmonize what has become a cacophonous childhood for many in this country. This book pierces to the heart with its arresting insights, its captivating anecdotes, and its spot-on advice.” –Edward M. Hallowell, M.D., author of The Childhood Roots of Adult Happiness and Driven to Distraction “A direct, compassionate, and tremendously honest book about the issues that really shape children’s lives. Through his own wise and helpful insights, Michael Thompson makes us remember, visualize, and understand the emotional, social, and educational complexities of the school universe in which our children live and grow and, often, struggle. This is a book for parents who truly want to understand and truly want to help– compelling, reassuring, and valuable.” –Perri Klass, M.D., coauthor of Quirky Kids “Michael Thompson has written a very special book. For all parents who feel helpless because they no longer understand their children's daily struggle, The Pressured Child is a true gift, helping us to see life through young people’s eyes. With the trenchant insights that only Michael Thompson can offer, he takes us along for a ride that few adults have ever known.” –Rachel Simmons, author of Odd Girl Out: The Hidden Culture of Aggression in Girls
Perfect Madness: Motherhood in the Age of Anxiety by Judith Warner With all the opportunities available to modern American women, why does Betty Friedan's Feminine Mystique continue to resonate with so many of them? Writing from the perspective of her first few years of motherhood spent in France and her subsequent return to the U.S., Warner ponders the cultural factors driving the madness of pursuing perfect motherhood and the toll it is taking on American women. Drawing on books, articles, observations, and interviews with hundreds of women, Warner finds too many well-educated middle-class women succumbing to the guilt, anxiety, and hypercompetitiveness surrounding ideals of motherhood that are often self-imposed. Instead of focusing energy on changing the culture and laws that do not support women's career ambitions and parenting obligations, women have emphasized self-control, personal achievement, and self-perfection, dooming themselves to endless self-criticism. Warner explores the social, economic, and cultural developments that have led to this juncture and—given the unlikelihood of turning the U.S. into as family-friendly a nation as France—how women can reevaluate their priorities and gain balance in their personal lives. (Booklist)
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Get Out of My Life, but First Could You Drive Me & Cheryl to the Mall: A Parent’s Guide to the New Teenager, Revised and Updated by Anthony E. Wolf This updated edition (a chapter on gay and lesbian teenagers and the ramifications of the electronic world have been added) will be as useful to parents as the 1992 version. Wolf, a clinical psychologist who works with adolescents (Why Did You Have to Get a Divorce? and When Can I Get a Hamster?), clearly has a feel for both the angst of young people who must deal with an evermore complex world and the difficulties parents face when a cooperative loving child morphs into a teenager who lies, talks back and avoids parental company. Humorous and insightful, Wolf describes what is, rather than what mothers and fathers of rebellious and thoughtless adolescents wish would be. He is forthright in stating that "you do not win the battle for control with teenagers... usually the best you get is imperfect control." Despite the best efforts of parents, today's adolescents frequently drink, experiment with drugs and are sexually active. According to the author, however, it is still important to have rules even though a teenager may break them. If parents clearly state their expectations of behavior and restate them when a teen disobeys, their son or daughter will, to some extent, internalize the rules and abide by them sometimes. In addition to providing excellent advice on particular situations, including divorce, school problems and stepparenting, he makes the often obnoxious manner in which teens communicate with their parents understandable as a rite of passage that they will eventually outgrow. (Publishers Weekly)
It’s not fair, Jeremy Spencer’s parents let him stay up all night!: A Guide to the Tougher Parts of Parenting by Anthony E. Wolf "Anthony Wolf addresses discipline and behavior problems, from the serious to the ridiculous, with a smart, sophisticated, and refreshing approach. His anecdotes ring so true that you are sure to hear your own voice—not to mention the voices of your children—in these pages." – Pamela Abrams, executive editor, Parents "By far the best advice book for parents of young children that I have ever read." – Louise Bates Ames, associate director, Gesell Institute of Human Development "Dr. Wolf presents a system of discipline and ways of dealing with complex parenting problems (complete with many useful anecdotes) that allow for consistency without demanding unrealistic rigidity of parents and children." – Bruce Raskin Dr. Wolf focuses on the most challenging aspect of parenting—getting children to do what they don't want to do. He covers the classic parenting problem areas, including family disputes, sibling fights, and divorce; and day-to-day issues such as bedtime, grumpiness and public tantrums. Positive and loving, this guide offers parents what they want most— more time to enjoy their children. (Ingram)
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Education/Social Science Other People’s Children: Cultural Conflict in the Classroom by Lisa D. Delpit Nearly 40 percent of the children in America's classrooms are African American, Hispanic, Asian American, or Native American, yet most of those children's teachers are white. In a radical and piercing analysis of what is going on in American classrooms today, MacArthur Award-winning author Lisa Delpit suggests that many of the academic problems attributed to children of color are actually the result of miscommunication as schools and "other people's children" struggle with the imbalance of power and the dynamics of inequality plaguing our system. Winner of Choice Magazine's Outstanding Academic Book Award, the American Education Studies Association Critics' Choice Award, and one of Teacher Magazine's Great Books of 1995. Delpit is also a contributor to Racism Explained to My Daughter (New Press: June 1999).
Smart Schools, Smart Kids: Why Do Some Schools Work? by Edward Fiske Similar to Marvin Cetron's Educational Renaissance ( LJ 12/90), this well-structured book by the knowledgeable education correspondent for the New York Times and author of How To Get Into the Right College argues that education reform must move beyond the "Nation at Risk" more-of-the-same reform gimmicks currently touted. Fiske recommends adopting "smart school" concepts: decentralizing decision-making; requiring students to take responsibility for their own learning; using portfolios for assessing student learning rather than standardized tests; training teachers to become learning coaches rather than mere dispensers of facts, etc. Smart schools, as such, do not yet exist. However, Fiske outlines several working prototypes (e.g., Hollibrook Elementary near Houston, Myrtle Grove Elementary in Miami, Fairdale High in Louisville, Key School in Indianapolis). His last chapter discusses the political imperatives and problems involved in creating smart schools. (Library Journal)
The Disciplined Mind: Beyond Facts and Standardized Tests, the K-12 Education That Every Child Deserves by Howard Gardner The New York Times Book Review:
A must-read for every educator, parent or anyone who cares about our children's future. (Daniel Goleman, author of Emotional Intelligence) About the Author
Howard Gardner is Hobbs Professor of Cognition and Education and Adjunct Professor of Psychology at Harvard University; Adjunct Professor of Neurology at the Boston University School of Medicine; and Codirector of Harvard Project Zero. Book Description
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In The Disciplined Mind, Howard Gardner argues that K-12 education should strive for a deep understanding of three classical principles: truth, beauty, and goodness. Such an understanding requires mastery of the major disciplines that human beings have created over the centuries. As powerful examples of his approach, Gardner describes an education that illuminates the theory of evolution, the music of Mozart, and the lessons of the Holocaust. Far from the standardized test mentality that has gripped both policy makers and the public, Gardner envisions an education that preserves the strengths of a traditional humane education while preparing younger generations for the challenges of the future.
5 Minds for the Future by Howard Gardner “Psychologist,
author and Harvard professor Gardner (Multiple Intelligences: New Horizons) has put together a thought-provoking, visionary attempt to delineate the kinds of mental abilities ("minds") that will be critical to success in a 21st century landscape of accelerating change and information overload. Gardner's five minds-disciplined, synthesizing, creating, respectful and ethical-are not personality types, but ways of thinking available to anyone who invests the time and effort to cultivate them: "how we should use our minds." In presenting his "values enterprise," Gardner uses a variety of explanatory models, from developmental psychology to group dynamics, demonstrating their utility not just for individual development, but for tangible success in a full range of human endeavors, including education, business, science, art, politics and engineering. A tall order for a single work, Gardner avoids overly-technical arguments as well as breezy generalizations, putting to fine use his twenty years experience as a cognitive science researcher, author and educator, and proving his world-class reputation well-earned. Though specialists might wish Gardner dug a bit more into the research, most readers will find the book lively and engaging, like the fascinating lectures of a seasoned, beloved prof.” (starred review, Publishers Weekly)
Failure to Connect: How Computers Affect Our Children’s Minds – and What We Can Do About It by Jane M. Healy This important book is a welcome addition to the growing (and long overdue) debate about how much of a good thing it is to mix computers and children. Healy is a professional educator of wide experience, and a recovering techno-fundamentalist. She is scrupulously fair about the evidence presented in various studies on the ways computers help or hinder learning, and quick to offer positive anecdotes where there are positive ones to be had. (She freely notes, for example, what a miracle computers have been for some handicapped children.) But her conclusions about the routine use of computer technology in the classroom are overwhelmingly—and persuasively—negative. A major theme of Failure to Connect is the federal government's culpable idiocy (not her term, but she implies as much) in jumping uncritically, to the tune of $4 billion a year, on the "computer in every classroom" bandwagon. As she shows, there is scant evidence that computers teach basic skills any better than traditional methods, or that children who don't have computers are somehow "left behind." Conversely, there is abundant evidence Inly School
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that an uncritical infatuation with computers as an educational panacea is replacing skill building and learning with formless play while forcing art and music lessons, and in some cases math textbooks, off many school budgets. Healy writes lucidly, neatly balancing her discussion of the issues with practical, undogmatic advice for parents and educators. A sober and sobering read about a crucial issue. (Amazon)
The Schools Our Children Deserve: Moving Beyond Traditional Classrooms and “Tougher Standards” by Alfie Kohn Alfie Kohn, the author of critically acclaimed works on such subjects as competition and rewards, now turns the conventional wisdom about education on its head. In this landmark book, he shows how the “back-to-basics” philosophy of teaching treats children into passive receptacles into which forgettable facts are poured. Likewise, shrill calls for tougher standards are responsible for squeezing the intellectual life out of classrooms. Such political slogans reflect a lack of understanding about how and why kids learn, and they force teachers to spend time preparing students for standardized tests instead of helping them to become critical, creative thinkers. “This is a remarkable book that should become a classic in the field,” said Jonathan Kozol, author of Savage Inequalities.
Punished by Rewards: The Trouble with Gold Stars, Incentive Plans, A’s, Praise and Other Bribes by Alfie Kohn Kohn shows that while manipulating people with incentives seems to work in the short run, it is a strategy that ultimately fails and even does lasting harm. Our workplaces and classrooms will continue to decline, he argues, until we begin to question our reliance on a theory of motivation derived from laboratory animals. Step by step, Kohn marshals research and logic to prove that pay-for-performance plans cannot work; the more an organization relies on incentives, the worst things get.
What Does It Mean To Be Well Educated? And More Essays on Standards, Grading, and Other Follies by Alfie Kohn In this collection of essays, Kohn takes on some of the most important topics in education in recent years. His central focus is on the real goals of schooling – a topic, he argues, that we systematically ignore while lavishing attention on misguided models of learning and motivation.
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A New York Times Notable Book of the Year (1998) Curiosity, says journalist Lefkowitz brought him to investigate the web of circumstances contributing to the 1989 alleged gang rape by teenage jocks of a 17-year-old retarded girl in a seemingly image-perfect New Jersey town. The theme of this compelling narrative is disturbing - the difficulty of achieving gender justice compounded by the fact that the socially isolated young woman chose compliance in the naive hope of acceptance, and a set of community values that put young male athletes on pedestals, their various "transgressions" ignored or dismissed. Glen Ridge is probably not an atypical community. Parents, teachers, and others need to understand what Lefkowitz so capably exposes about the "All-American" male cultural setting. Highly recommended for a broad readership. Library Journal The New York Times Book Review, Russell
Banks ... this is an important book, one that should be read by parents and educators alike, for if we are raising our male children to be feral, which is to say, if they are becoming incapable of empathy for others, especially their female counterparts, then what will their children be like?
Ready or Not, Here Life Comes by Mel Levine Levine, professor of pediatrics, founder of a nonprofit institute dedicated to studying learning differences and author of the bestselling A Mind at a Time, weighs in on what he sees as the "epidemic" of "work-life unreadiness" that affects 20-somethings as they move from academia to the working world. The difficulties many face confronting this change are often underestimated, Levine argues, and thus often take those making the change—and their families, too—by surprise. Frequently, Levine finds, a lifetime of success in school is followed abruptly by confusion and inertia when it comes time to find work that's meaningful and create a life of independence. Levine outlines four major qualities and values common in young adults who do make successful transitions: they are self-aware, they're keen observers of the outside world, they posses certain "tools" (the ability to master skills, develop work efficiency and think productively) and they're strong communicators. He makes valuable suggestions for parents and educators who wish to encourage the difficult process of developing these traits, using examples of individuals who have—and haven't—been well prepared for this transition. The book's solid research and easy tone are a powerful combination; the result is a valuable resource for anyone concerned with the successful development of young people in the workforce. (Publishers Weekly)
The Myth of Laziness by Mel Levine Pediatrician Levine, a developmental-behavioral expert, offers theories on why it's so hard for some teenagers-even bright ones-to succeed in school. "Often these individuals absorb and process information well; they learn but they don't produce," he says, adding, "people say glibly that they are not `living up to their potential.' " Levine prefers the term "output failure" over "laziness." In a series of case studies, he discusses the biological, neurological and psychological factors that may be responsible for "output failure." He focuses on kids challenged by oral and written communication; he believes parents and Inly School
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educators must pay attention to different learning styles rather than simply label a child as lazy. Even fidgeting, according to Levine, may be a plus: "Isn't it odd that kids get criticized for being fidgety when they should be commended for implementing a strategy that significantly elevates their attention?" Despite the thought-provoking theories and discussions of problems such as impairment in the generation of ideas and memory difficulties, only the final chapter, "Cultivating and Restoring Output," offers a broad range of strategies that can be used to remedy such troubles. Still, the advice-e.g., create a home office for kids, document time spent and level of output, adjust expectations-is on target and should help struggling parents. (Publisher’s Weekly)
The Essential Conversation: What Parents and Teachers Can Learn from Each Other by Sara Lawrence-Lightfoot On the surface, this book is about that most ordinary of human encounters-the parent/teacher meeting-that takes place more than 100 million times a year, usually in uncomfortable, undersized chairs. Beneath the smooth surface of this mostly polite exchange, according to Harvard education professor Lawrence-Lightfoot, lurk ancestral ghosts and ancient psychological themes, a turbulent mix of fears, anxieties, drives and biases that both parties bring to the table. Add to this the vectors of race, class, gender, culture and language, and you have a set of complex and passionate dynamics that often have as much to do with the adults' desires and needs as with those of the children. Parents and teachers have a lot to learn from each other, says Lawrence-Lightfoot, and these essential conversations are a crucial if neglected aspect of children's educational success. As in her previous works, Worlds Apart: Relationships Between Families and Schools and The Good High School: Portraits of Character and Culture, LawrenceLightfoot draws readers in with elegant prose and carefully drawn narrative portraits. Curiously, she does not feature any male elementary school teachers; their inclusion could have made the discussions of gender and power even more thought provoking and complex. But this is a minor shortcoming in an otherwise significant and thoughtfully rendered exploration of a social ritual many adults commonly experience but seldom examine. Anyone who has ever sat through a parent/teacher conference, on either side of the tiny table, will find much to consider in these pages. (Publishers Weekly)
So Sexy So Soon: The New Sexualized Childhood and What Parents Can Do to Protect Their Kids by Diane Levin The authors (Levin is a professor of education; Kilbourne, an authority on the effects of advertising) accuse the media of sexualizing children. Constantly, American children are exposed to a barrage of sexual images in television, movies, music and the Internet. They are taught young that buying certain clothes, consuming brand-name soft drinks and owning the right possessions will make them sexy and cool—and being sexy and cool is the most important thing. Young men and women are spoon-fed images that equate sex with violence, paint women as sexually subservient to men and encourage hooking up rather than meaningful connections. The result is that kids are having sex younger and with more partners than ever before. Eating disorders and body image issues are common
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as early as grade school. Levin and Kilbourne stress that there is nothing wrong with a young person's natural sexual awakening, but it is wrong to allow a young person's sexuality to be hijacked by corporations who want them as customers. The authors offer advice on how parents can limit children's exposure to commercialized sex, and how parents can engage kids in constructive, age-appropriate conversation about sex and the media. One need only read the authors' anecdotes to see why this book is relevant. (Publishers Weekly)
Consuming Kid: Protecting Our Children from the Onslaught of Marketing and Advertising by Susan Linn “A powerful warning and wake-up call.” –Marian Wright Edelman “Forces us to see a world in which it is considered legitimate to treat children and their tastes as market potential and to manipulate them accordingly accordingly.” –Penelope Leach “A call to arms. . . . We can and must take back our parental roles.” –T. Berry Brazelton, M.D. “A cri de coeur on behalf of people too young to suspect how their ‘share of mind’ is being jealously divided. . . . Linn does a fine job of exposing the wickedness of preying commercially on the young.” –The Wall Street Journal “Arguing passionately . . . Linn makes a compelling case for restricting commercial access to children.” –The Washington Post Book World “The most disturbing book of the year–a fact-filled study of just how commercialized childhood has become.” –The Weekly Standard “At last a book that provides the data, the arguments, and the passion that can be mobilized to end marketing to children. Susan Linn is a hero of our times.” –Howard Gardner, author of Changing Minds “Like Eric Schlosser in Fast Food Nation, Linn . . . put[s] together a truly devastating case . . . couch[ed] in the most reasonable terms possible. . . . A socially conscious account that deserves wide exposure.” –Publishers Weekly (starred review)
Last Child in the Woods: Saving Our Children from Nature-Deficit Disorder by Richard Louv Unstructured outdoor play was standard for me as a hyperactive child growing up in the rural Midwest. I fondly recall digging forts, climbing trees and catching frogs without concern for kidnappers or West Nile virus. According to newspaper columnist and child advocate Richard Louv, such carefree days are gone for America’s youth. Boys and girls
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now live a "denatured childhood," Louv writes in Last Child in the Woods. He cites multiple causes for why children spend less time outdoors and why they have less access to nature: our growing addiction to electronic media, the relinquishment of green spaces to development, parents’ exaggerated fears of natural and human predators, and the threat of lawsuits and vandalism that has prompted community officials to forbid access to their land. Drawing on personal experience and the perspectives of urban planners, educators, naturalists and psychologists, Louv links children’s alienation from nature to attentiondeficit hyperactivity disorder, stress, depression and anxiety disorders, not to mention childhood obesity. The connections seem tenuous at times, but it is hard not to agree with him based on the acres of anecdotal evidence that he presents. According to Louv, the replacement of open meadows, woods and wetlands by manicured lawns, golf courses and housing developments has led children away from the natural world. What little time they spend outside is on designer playgrounds or fenced yards and is structured, safe and isolating. Such antiseptic spaces provide little opportunity for exploration, imagination or peaceful contemplation. Louv’s idea is not new. Theodore Roosevelt saw a prophylactic dose of nature as a counter to mounting urban malaise in the early 20th century, and others since have expanded on the theme. What Louv adds is a focus on the restorative qualities of nature for children. He recommends that we reacquaint our children and ourselves with nature through hiking, fishing, bird-watching and disorganized, creative play. By doing so, he argues, we may lessen the frequency and severity of emotional and mental ailments and come to recognize the importance of preserving nature…Parents, educators, therapists and city officials can benefit from taking seriously Louv’s call for a "nature-child reunion." (Scientific American)
In Schools We Trust: Creating Communities of Learning in an Era of Testing and Standardization by Deborah Meier While policy makers agree that big city public schools are failing to meet children's needs, their solutions usually involve shifting responsibility to distant figures chancellors, mayors and relying on abstract performance evaluation tools, like standardized tests. From her own experience designing and operating various alternative public schools, progressive educator Meier (The Power of Their Ideas) has a different assessment: schools must be smaller, more self-governed and places of choice, so kids and their families feel they are truly part of these communities of learning. Students need to spend more time around adults who are doing adult work, which builds familiarity, trust and respect, as well as exposure to new skills. Families also need to be brought into the mix, so they're comfortable with the school, the teachers and the educational agenda. Teachers need time and space to develop collegial relations with each other, both to improve educational practices and to model responsible critical behavior for students. According to Meier, the currently fashionable educational panacea increased standardized testing either irrelevant to academic excellence or an actual deterrent, as teachers teach to the test and ignore everything that's not on it. Likewise, teaching children test-taking techniques Inly School
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trains them to distrust their own intuition about what's right or wrong. Reliance on test results (which are largely meaningless, Meier says) denies parents' and teachers' ability to assess learning. This is a passionate, jargon-free plea for a rerouting of educational reform, sure to energize committed parents, progressive educators and maybe even a politician or two. (Publishers Weekly) “A wise and beautiful book that elevates the level of debate on tests and school reform." —Jonathan Kozol, author of Savage Inequalities
Born to Buy: The Commercialized Child and the New Consumer Culture by Juliet B. Schor Parents will be tempted to read Born to Buy as a kind of contemporary horror story, with ever more sophisticated marketing wunderkinds as Dr. Frankensteins and their children as the relentless monsters they create. Indeed, it's difficult to avoid feeling overwhelmed by the avariciousness, omnipotence, and ingenuity of the advertising industry Juliet B. Schor portrays when it comes to transforming preschool kids into voracious, 'tudeinfused consumers. Intermixing research data with anecdotal illustrations, Schor chronicles the rapid development of a once-shackled industry that now markets R-rated movies to 9-year-olds. The mind boggles at the notion that Seventeen magazine's target readership is now pre-teens. While Schor unearths a surplus of information on the effectiveness of advertising, she's not nearly as adept at proposing effective responses. Reacting to the power and creativity of the consumer culture with politically unfeasible regulation and parental diligence is a little like attacking Frankenstein's creature with torches. Still, Born to Buy is an eye-opening account of an industry that is commercializing childhood with remarkable effectiveness and insouciance. (Amazon.com)
The 100 Best Books for Children by Anita Silvey What makes a book a classic? Silvey, a longtime children's book specialist and literature lover, addresses that question in order to identify books that represent a "basic literary heritage." The result is a highly select list of 100 titles published from 1902 to 2002. These are titles that have been or likely will be enjoyed by children for generations: "The canon of children's books remains the best gift we could ever give our children." And the short essays that introduce this canon are likely to engage adults in surprising ways. There is, of course, a brief synopsis of each book's content plus information about the creation or creator of the book. Written in a conversational tone, these stories "behind the story" provide insight, humor, and passion for the books presented. Additional titles are presented in "Beyond the 100 Best," organized by age (birth through age 12) and also by genre. An extensive bibliography of adult references provides not only documentation but also allows for follow-up by those interested. Silvey notes that a reader's response to a book is part of its story, hence the inclusion of a section entitled "Reading Journal." Altogether, this is a highly useful book for anyone who is interested in the best of
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children's literature and the fascinating tales behind these books. (School Library Journal)
Keeping School: Letters to Families from Principals of Two Small Schools by Theodore R. Sizer, Deborah Meier and Nancy Faust Sizer The authors chose the term "keeping school" to illustrate the broad range of thought and action that goes into the "collective craft" of education. Their book grows out of the weekly communications sent to parents of children enrolled at two small charter schools in Massachusetts. Meier, principal of the Mission Hill School in Roxbury, and Thomas and Nancy Sizer, co-principals of the Francis W. Parker Charter Essential School near Harvard, are well-regarded school reformers. Here they offer letters, essays, and commentaries that focus on the essential elements of effective education: a classic core curriculum, flexible scheduling, small class sizes, and personalized teaching. They precede the letters with brief school histories and provide context for the letters. The book is divided into the broad topics of learning, authority, community, and standards, with individual letters focusing on intense study of snails that invaded the neighborhood, reading for pleasure, and democracy and responsibility. The chatty style of the letters provides an intimate look at practical applications of schoolreform concepts, which parents and teachers will appreciate. (Booklist)
Mathematics Miseducation: The Case Against a Tired Tradition by Inly’s own – Derek Stolp “Author and veteran teacher Derek Stolp has come to the conclusion that learning mathematics is of no real consequence for the vast majority of children. This stance flies in the face of the conventional wisdom held among political leaders, business people, teachers and parents that mathematics is an essential subject for all students well into their high school years. Mathematics Miseducation: The Case Against a Tired Tradition argues that mathematics, as currently taught, does not justify inclusion in the curriculum, and he suggests practical changes that can be implemented within a traditional school environment to resuscitate mathematics education. Stolp demonstrates that our beliefs about what children need and what motivates them to learn promote practices that are counterproductive and ultimately corrupt students’ own healthy motivations. He contents that there is too much emphasis on academics in our schools and that other important dimensions of education, such as the social, emotional and moral development of our children, are ignored.” (From the back cover)
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Why Are All the Black Kids Sitting Together in the Cafeteria: And Other Conversations About Race: A Psychologist Explains the Development of Racial Identity, revised edition by Beverly Daniel Tatum This insightful exploration of the varieties of Americans' experience with race and racism in everyday life would be an excellent starting point for the upcoming national conversations on race that President Clinton and his appointed commission will be conducting this fall. Tatum, a developmental psychologist (Mt. Holyoke Coll.) with a special interest in the emerging field of racial-identity development, is a consultant to school systems and community groups on teaching and learning in a multicultural context. Not only has she studied the distinctive social dynamics faced by black youth educated in predominantly white environments, but since 1980, Tatum has developed a course on the psychology of racism and taught it in a variety of university settings. She is also a black woman and a concerned mother of two, and she draws on all these experiences and bases of knowledge to write a remarkably jargon-free book that is as rigorously analytical as it is refreshingly practical and drives its points home with a range of telling anecdotes. Tatum illuminates ``why talking about racism is so hard'' and what we can do to make it easier, leaving her readers more confident about facing the difficult terrain on the road to a genuinely color-blind society. (Kirkus Reviews)
Yardsticks: Children in the Classroom Ages 4-14 by Chip Wood Seth Rockmuller, President, Alliance for Parental Involvement in Education: Wood's warm appreciation of children and his fascination with the ways in which they grow are evident and help to make this a most useful book to anyone interested in child development—in or out of the classroom. ”This popular Guidebook which has helped thousands of teachers and parents to better understand children has now been expanded to include ages 13 and 14. Written with warmth, humor and deep reverence for children, Yardsticks offers clear and concise descriptions of the developmental characteristics of children at different ages. Teachers appreciate the user-friendly format as they use these "yardsticks" to shape curriculum. Straightforward descriptions of each age are followed by easy-to-read charts identifying developmental "yardsticks" in the areas of physical, social, language, and cognitive growth.” (Amazon.com)
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Raising Boys The Way of Boys: Raising Healthy Boys in a Challenging and Complex World by Anthony Rao Rao, a psychologist who has worked with young boys for two decades at Harvard Medical School as well as in private practice, claims that very young boys are being misdiagnosed with disorders such as ADHD and Asperger's and are often unnecessarily treated with medications that, he believes, should be a last resort (some boys, he notes, have even been thrown out of preschool for unruly behavior). With writer Seaton, Rao argues that many young boys who grab, kick, fidget, act out in school or refuse to make eye contact are simply being true to their brain development and hardwiring; in the vast majority of cases, Rao claims, these behaviors are healthy and normal, and shouldn't require medical intervention. The authors explain that boys do best with tactile, hands-on learning and more physical movement than most schools provide. Rather than rush to label and diagnose, Rao recommends a wait-and-see approach, noting that most behavior problems are temporary developmental glitches (with the exception of autism, which benefits from early intervention). Rao offers strategies parents can employ to help their youngsters learn to communicate, socialize and deal with anger and other issues. Though a bit heavy on the case studies, Rao's text is a valuable resource for readers determining whether to seek a medical diagnosis and a prescription or opt for a behavioral plan and a strong dose of patience.
It’s A Boy! Your Son’s Development from Birth to Age 18 by Michael Thompson, Ph.D. “It’s a Boy! is a powerful guide to raising a son in today’s world. Filled with stories from the front lines and practical advice, it is gentle and compassionate, yet also moving and beautiful. The heart of a boy beats in every page.” –Michael Gurian, author of The Wonder of Boys “Michael Thompson has gradually earned his place as the Warren Buffett of child rearing, the real deal. His track record of uncanny timing, his hard-won knowledge, common sense, and humanism have resonated with parents everywhere. Now there is a desperate need to understand our boys more deeply; there is a palpable hunger to learn how to handle our sons better. It’s a Boy! does both in a way not seen before. It’s a Boy! will help your son to feel more loved, understood, and effectively guided by you– forever.” –Ron Taffel, Ph.D., author of Parenting by Heart: How to Stay Connected to Your Child in a Disconnected World “Spectacular . . . extraordinary insight, enriched by countless poignant and telling stories of boys and their parents and teachers. It’s a Boy! is an immensely helpful navigational chart for steering through the shoals of a boy’s developmental stages.” –Patrick F. Bassett, president, National Association of Independent Schools
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Speaking of Boys : Answers to the Most-Asked Questions About Raising Sons by Michael Thompson, Ph.D. Preeminent child psychologist, Michael Thompson is renowned for his efforts to educate and assist parents with sons. First with Raising Cain (his response to Mary Pipher's Reviving Ophelia ) and now with Speaking of Boys, Thompson encourages parents to help their sons develop the emotional intelligence necessary to succeed. The book seeks to answer parents' questions concerning the complexities of raising a boy in today's society. Every chapter introduces questions from parents on issues like puberty, underage drinking, and increased violence in schools, and in every instance the author responds with insightful and knowledgeable advice. Chapters entitled "Speaking of Social Anger and Aggression" and "Feelings and Communication—Is Our Sensitive Boy a Sitting Duck for Bullies?" are particularly in tune with the apprehension parents feel when sending their sensitive sons off for another grueling day at school. The key to raising a healthy son, says Thompson, is to help your boy attain an emotional intelligence that will allow him to cope with difficult and threatening situations. To accomplish this, parents need to nurture compassion in their sons and try to avoid allowing them to become desensitized by the teasing and pressure of others. Respecting your son's need to appear strong at times and offering him a sense of safety when discussing emotionally revealing subjects are two ways Thompson encourages parents to nurture their son's emotional development. As anyone who is raising a boy knows, it's a job that is never quite finished, and with this book, Thompson offers parents an invaluable tool, regardless of their son's age. (Amazon.com)
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Raising Girls Odd Girl Out: The Hidden Culture of Aggression in Girls by Rachel Simmons Although more than 16 years have passed, Rhodes Scholar Simmons hasn't forgotten how she felt when Abby told the other girls in third grade not to play with her, nor has she stopped thinking about her own role in giving Noa the silent treatment. Simmons examines how such "alternative aggression" where girls use their relationship with the victim as a weapon flourishes and its harmful effects. Through interviews with more than 300 girls in 10 schools (in two urban areas and a small town), as well as 50 women who experienced alternative aggression when they were young, Simmons offers a detailed portrait of girls' bullying. Citing the work of Carol Gilligan and Lyn Mikel Brown, she shows the toll that alternative aggression can take on girls' self-esteem. For Simmons, the restraints that society imposes to prevent girls from venting feelings of competition, jealousy and anger is largely to blame for this type of bullying. It forces girls to turn their lives into "a perverse game of Twister," where their only outlets for expressing negative feelings are covert looks, turned backs and whispers. Since the events at Columbine, some schools have taken steps to curb relational aggression. For those that haven't, Simmons makes an impassioned plea that no form of bullying be permitted. (Publishers Weekly)
The Curse of the Good Girl: Raising Authentic Girls with Courage and Confidence by Rachel Simmons In this volume for parents of middle-school daughters, the author of Odd Girl Out observes that girls today still pressure themselves to conform to the old, narrow paradigm of a nice, people-pleasing, rule-following, even-tempered, socially acceptable good girl, shunning the image of a rebellious, proud, socially outré, in-charge, outspoken bad girl. To dispel the curse of the good girl, and despite using those familiar, easily misconstrued labels as a touchstone, Girls Leadership Institute founder Simmons offers instructive tales out of school and workshops, revealing that flawed communication rituals and fear of confrontation contribute equally to a girl's belief that it is more important to be liked than to be an individual. In order to become a successful, well-adjusted real girl, she needs to know how to say no to peers, ask for what she needs and express what she thinks. In the second half of this book, parents will find concrete strategies and tools—confidencebuilding exercises that emphasize emotional intelligence, self-evaluations, q&a's, scripts and lots of first-person stories—to help guide a girl's growth into a young woman who can respect and listen to her inner voice, say what she feels and thinks, embrace her limits and present an authentic self to the world.
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Queen Bees and Wannabees: Helping Your Daughter Survive Cliques, Gossip, Boyfriends, and Other Realities of Adolescence by Rosalind Wiseman Do you feel as though your adolescent daughter exists in a different world, speaking a different language and living by different laws? She does. This groundbreaking book takes you inside the secret world of girls’ friendships, translating and decoding them, so parents can better understand and help their daughters navigate through these crucial years. Rosalind Wiseman has spent more than a decade listening to thousands of girls talk about the powerful role cliques play in shaping what they wear and say, how they feel about school, how they respond to boys, and how they feel about themselves. In this candid and insightful book, Wiseman discusses: • Queen Bees, Wannabes, Targets, Torn Bystanders, and others: how to tell what role your daughter plays and help her be herself • Girls’ power plays, from birthday invitations to cafeteria seating arrangements and illicit parties, and how to handle them • Good popularity and bad popularity: how cliques bear on every situation • Hip Parents, Best-Friend Parents, Pushover Parents, and others: examine your own parenting style, “Check Your Baggage,” and identify how your own background and biases affect how you relate to your daughter • Related movies, books, websites, and organizations: a carefully annotated resources section provides opportunities to follow up on your own and with your daughter Enlivened with the voices of dozens of girls and parents and a welcome sense of humor, Queen Bees and Wannabes is compelling reading for parents and daughters alike. A conversation piece and a reference guide, it offers the tools you need to help your daughter feel empowered and make smarter choices.
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Special Issues Delivered from Distraction: Getting the Most out of Life with Attention Deficit Disorder by Edward M. Hallowell This follow-up to the authors' 1994 manual, Driven to Distraction, has the advantage of personal testimony regarding adult Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD)—the authors themselves have ADD—as well a very readable presentation of the latest research in the field. Defining ADD as a collection of traits, some positive, some negative, the authors intend to encourage those who have this condition or are raising children with it and advise on how to maximize their abilities and minimize characteristics, such as procrastination, that may hinder them at school or work. In a comprehensive overview, Hallowell and Ratey provide a new screening questionnaire for adults and list methods that physicians, parents and educators can use to diagnose and treat the ADD child. Of primary importance to readers are the recommended steps for living a satisfying life with ADD; these include developing personal relationships and engaging in creative activities that will foster self-esteem. The authors also separate nutrition fads from what is known about how diet can affect brain functioning and discuss whether to take medication. Overall, this is an excellent resource. (Copyright © Reed Business Information) Delivered from Distraction is just what it promises. In this remarkable volume, Ned Hallowell and John Ratey bring the latest information on ADD to homes and hearts everywhere, conveying the burgeoning scientific information with humor, hope, and clarity. As the authors point out, ADD needn't be a sentence to secondhand status. The ADDer who hearkens to their sage and practical whole-life advice will make the most of his or her talents. This book is certain to be a classic for the next decade.” –PETER S. JENSEN, M.D., Ruane Professor of Child Psychiatry, director, Center for the Advancement of Children’s Mental Health, Columbia University/New York State Psychiatric Institute
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Books to Share with Your Child For Younger Children… What’s the Big Secret? Talking about Sex with Girls and Boys by Laurie Krasny Brown It’s Not the Stork! by Robie Harris Ready, Set, Grow! A What’s Happening to My Body Book for Younger Girls by Lynda Madaras What’s Inside Your Tummy, Mommy by Abby Cocovini For Older Children… What’s Going on Down There? Answers to Questions Boys Find Hard to Ask by Karen Gravelle The Period Book, updated edition by Karen Gravelle It’s So Amazing! by Robie Harris The “What’s Happening to My Body Book” for Girls, 3rd edition by Lynda Madaras The “What’s Happening to My Body Book” for Boys by Lynda Madaras What’s Happening to Me? A Guide to Puberty by Peter Mayle
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