Perceptions of change over time and shifts in the experience of virginity among emerging adult females: A qualitative analysis of retrospective narratives Marie-Aude Boislard, Ph.D. Marie-Aude Boislard, Ph.D., Melissa Anne Fuller, M.A. (cand.), & Mylène Fernet, Ph.D.,
Introduction ❖Social norms within given context dictate ideal age for an important life transition (social clock theory) (Lehnart, Neyer, & Eccles, 2010) ❖Off-time transitions ↑ challenges ❖Sexual initiation as a normative life transition and a developmental task occurring in late adolescence for most youth ❖Off-time transition to sexual activity: research mostly on early initiators ❖What about late and non-initiators?
❖Recent studies have shed light on challenges associated with late virginity ❖i.e. distress and stigma that increase over time (Carpenter, 2010; Gesselman, Humphreys, Webster & Garcia, 2017 ; Haase et al., 2012)
Research questions What is it like to be an adult virgin? What role does getting older play in this experience?
Reflection What comes to your mind when I say adult virgin?
Methodology 11 female participants aged 24 to 29 ◦ Inclusion criteria: English-speaking, heterosexual, never engaged in penile-vaginal penetration ◦ Exclusion criterion: religion as primary motivation for virginity ◦ Recruited on social settings, social media and through snowballing ◦ Semi-structured interviews (90 min.)
Analyses: 4-step inductive approach 1. preparation of the interview data 2.thorough reading of the data 3.identification of first categories 4.revision and refinement of categories Blais, M., & Martineau, S. (2006). L’analyse inductive générale: description d’une démarche visant à donner un sens à des données brutes. Recherches Qualitatives, 26(2), 1–18.
Methods Interview theme Virgin identity and disclosure Sexual education
Sample question In your own words, why are you a virgin? Do you speak openly about your virginity to others now? If so, in what contexts? How would you describe your experiences with sexual education?
Family attitudes
How would you describe your family atmosphere on the topic of sex?
Peer relationships
How would you describe your experiences with peers on the topic of sex during your adolescence? Have you had any romantic experiences? If yes: “Can you tell me a bit about them? What role does the internet play in your experience of virginity? Who do you speak to when you need support?
Romantic relationships Internet usage and support
Results: Shift in emotional experiences Theme
Excerpts
Feelings of shame, impatience and anxiety
"Still being one [a virgin] leaves a lot of curiosity and anxiety especially being in a relationship now with a non-virgin. That kind of bothers me a little bit, just because I can't relate and it's kind of weird to me."- Amanda 28 "Now it’s more "when am I going to find the right partner? " […] Because I’m like, now I want it. It’s something I want, I want to share, […] Before it was like, I’m not ready, and now I’m ready for it. I just want to find the right person." – Stephanie, 24
Breakdown of "In my eyes, the older I get it’s like it’s not going to happen. I want to hope for but...it’s weird. Because when I was 15, I was going “yeah it’s going to virginity loss happen at 16” after it was “ah at 17” “ah 18” […] And it keeps going older. I’m just, “oh I’m 21” “oh I’m 22” “Oh, I’m... 25. ""–Missy, 26
Results: Shift in social experiences Theme
Excerpts " […] because even if there are situations where I want to be in a relationship, it's not going to happen because they're not willing to wait, Experiences and and I don't know how long I want to wait. Just the fact that waiting is anticipation of there, they're not down. " -Viah, 25 rejection and unwillingness " […] when I was younger it was chill, like nobody really cares that much. from potential But then you're 25 and people don't want to date you if you're a virgin, partners to wait because they're just like, "why would I do that?" " – Viah, 25 "My older brother told me once that he was at a bar and there was a girl, really cruising him and when she said that she was a virgin, he told her "auff, I don't feel like being a teacher tonight." […] So just the fear of being hurt and rejected. " - Missy, 26
Results: Shift in social experiences Theme
Excerpts "My older brother said to me “you’re too difficult. You shouldn’t wait that long.” […] So yeah, maybe I should, people think that I’m difficult. " - Missy, 26
Social pressures "I guess in before, when I met new people, um, I was a little uncomfortable because some people, that I met were more who were all having sex was kind of like "How come you haven't?" "- Jenna, 25
Results: Shift in virginity narratives Theme
Excerpts
"When I was younger I thought I would stay a virgin until I got married. I guess because my mom kind of expected me to? When I got older, I was like, "well maybe if I really care about someone I'll have sex with them." " – Jenna, 25 Shift in one’s own "I guess the older I get, I feel like the clock is running out for different things virginity […].[I’m] asking myself over the reasons that I'm remaining a virgin and, narrative confirming and solidifying what are the things that I'm looking for in a relationship and re-evaluating the things that I want and the things that I'll do for the things that I want"- Amanda, 28 "I would develop crushes on people who that were unattainable, so that it Shift in didn’t have to be attained […]. Totally coping mechanisms, but they're coping coping mechanisms that I don't really use anymore. I wouldn’t have to confront the mechanism reality of not feeling pretty, not feeling normal. " Mallory, 26
Discussion ❖More stigma as they advance in age
❖Support of Social clock theory in the sexuality domain ❖Shifts in narratives: from waiting until marriage due to parental expectations towards waiting to find the right partner Reinterpretation of one’s experience over time and adjustment of expectations ❖Limitations ❖Small n ❖Selection bias ❖Retrospective narratives
SO WHAT? 1) The virgin “label” is often stigmatizing 2) increase visibility of adult virginity → a form of sexual diversity
Thank you! To the generous participants of the DiverJe project
[email protected]
Participants characteristics Part.
Age
1
Elizabeth
29
2
Amanda
28
3
Mallory
26
4
Jade
5
City of birth
Quebec City
First language
English and French
Religious affiliation (if any) -
Education
Living situation
Rel. status
CEGEP diploma
Alone
0 0
CEGEP diploma
Parent(s) and sibling(s) Parent(s) and sibling(s) Alone
English
Christian
Bachelor's degree
Montreal
English
Master's in progress
26
Repentigny
French
Jewish (secular) -
Missy
25
Rimouski
French
-
Bachelor's degree
Alone
0
6
Tally
25
Gatineau
Ukrainian
-
Master's in progress
Roommate(s)
0
7
Viah
25
Quebec City
English
Muslim
Master's in progress
Roommate(s)
0
8
Jenna
25
Montreal
English
Parent(s)
1
9
Stephanie
24
Montreal
Arabic
Jewish (non- Bachelor's degree, observant) Muslim Bachelor's in progress
Parent(s)
0
10
Natasha
24
Montreal
English
Bachelor's in progress
Parent(s)
1
11
Daisy
24
Sri Lanka
English
Greek orthodox -
Bachelor's in progress
Parent(s) and sibling(s)
0
Montreal
0 0
Results: Shift in emotional experiences Theme Importance given to the status
Excerpts "Throughout high school and early CEGEP before I met my first boyfriend, it actually never came to thought. It wasn't even an issue, not that it is an issue, but maybe it's a little more of a concern, or a little more on my mind now than it was then."- Natasha, 24 "Towards maybe I was eighteen, nineteen I got on the pill and I was getting more informed and then it changed to being more comfortable with virginity."- Elysabeth, 29
