Pretty TGirls Magazine - Rachel Williston

Pretty TGirls Magazine Special Issue On Relationships With TGirls

Featuring Michelle and Millie

January 2009 Issue

Pretty TGirls Magazine is a production of the Pretty TGirls Group Group and is intended as a free resource for the Transgendered community. Articles and advertisements may be submitted submitted for consideration to the editor, Rachel Williston, at [email protected] . It is our hope that our our magazine will increase the understanding of the TG world and better acceptance of TGirls in our society. To that end, any articles are appreciated and welcomed for review !

Pretty TGirls Magazine – January 2009

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Pretty TGirls Magazine Welcome to the January 2009 issue … Take pride and joy with being a TGirl !

Table of contents: Our Miss 2009 Cover Girls ! Our Miss January 2009 Cover Girl Cover Girl Feature – Michelle and Millie Amy and Nan - A Story of Transition – Nan Garbati Editor’s Corner – Rachel Williston Ask Sarah – Sarah Cocktails With Nicole – Nicole Morgin Dear Abby L – Abby Lauren Its All In The Smile – Sage Valerie and Marsha – Valerie Jayne Jolene’s Story – Jayne Jolene Schmidt Kaveena’s Story – Miss Kaveena TG Crossword – Rachel Williston In The Company Of Others – Candice O. Minky TGirl Tips – Mellissa Lynn A Week in the “Boro” – Barbara M. Davidson Then and Now Photo’s Recipes by Mollie – Mollie Bell Tell Her The Truth About Crossdressing – Brianna Austin Men Who Wear Stilettos… – Michele Angelique TG Conferences and Getaways Advertisements and newsy items Our 2009 Calendar!

Magazine courtesy of the Pretty TGirls Group at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/prettytgirls Pretty TGirls Magazine – January 2009

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Our Miss January 2009 Cover Girl ! How about joining us? We’re a tasteful, fun group of girls and we love new friends!

Just go to … http://groups.yahoo.com/group/prettytgirls Pretty TGirls Magazine – January 2009

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Our Miss 2009 Cover Girls!


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Relationships

Michelle and Millie

With A TGirl

By Michelle Williams

Millie and I started chatting to each other on Facebook several months ago. I was using my female persona, Michelle. luckily for me, Millie quite liked her and she hit on me! Over a number of weeks we had what could be described as a sort of Victorian courtship, but using the internet instead of posting letters. It soon became apparent that we had the same sense of humour and were on the same wavelength in lots of other ways, Each found the other to be exciting, challenging and we wanted to meet. Eventually, I invited Millie on a girls night out, to meet me and my t-girl friends


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Relationships

Michelle and Millie

With A TGirl

(continued) by Michelle Williams

It was nerve racking for both of is but we hit it off immediately, to the extent that we rather inconsiderately ignored the others at the dinner table, but they fortunately they forgave us! Now, a few months later we have learned even more about each other and our love has deepened. I have been welcomed by Millie in my male mode and we have nights out together as boy and girlfriend, too. Ironically it was the Boy/ Girl liaison that proved far scarier! We knew Millie and Michelle were a match made in Heaven....it was the traditional side of things that were more daunting


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Relationships

Michelle and Millie

With A TGirl


But our time together, as Millie and Michelle, is wonderful. From helping each other with dressing and make-up, through lovely dinners out together (she is so gorgeous that I feel I must show her off!), and dancing in nightclubs, meeting new people, it is all a wonderful experience - and still like a fantastic dream. At the same time as I become Michelle, applying my make-up and dressing in one of my outfits, Millie seems to change into an even more glamorous babe, too.


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Relationships

Michelle and Millie

With A TGirl


And I think that it is good for both of us that, no matter how hard I try to improve my Michelle image, Millie is the real woman in our relationship.


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Relationships

Michelle and Millie

With A TGirl



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Relationships

Amy and Nan – A Story of Transition

With A TGirl

By Nan Garbati


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Relationships With A TGirl

Amy and Nan – A Story of Transition (continued)

By Nan Garbati

Hi, my name in Nan and I am 58 years old and have been married to a closeted crossdresser for over 25 years. He started sneaking his mothers clothing and make up as a teen. We grew up in the same town, but as I am 5 years older than him we didn’t really know each other. We met in June and were married in December. He made me aware of his compulsions early on in our relationship. He said that he liked woman’s panties and nities, but I didn’t know the real depths of what this meant at that time, I thought it was just a sexual thing. He did not get the opportunity to dress very often for the first 22 years. We had 4 kids between us, so he only had the opportunity when they all stayed with friends, or if we got away alone. The last of the kids moved out in 1999, but at the same time my elderly parents moved in. So again, the only opportunity was if we went away to a hotel for a weekend.

With the lack of opportunity and busy lives, he pretty much just stopped dressing. Add to that, the fact he wasn't accepting of that side of himself, he consciously resisted those urges (this I was not aware of). However, the desire was still there, so he turned to the internet, trying to satisfy the urges with stories and pictures of other crossdressers and transvestites. What happened was, he pretty much withdrew on both sides of his personality. He wasn't expressing his desires to become feminine, and unwittingly became less masculine, in that his relationship with me became non-existent physically. He says that he just got to the point where, if he couldn't be feminine, his sub-conscious rebelled by taking away his desire to be masculine.


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By Nan Garbati

In late November of 2005, I happened upon my husbands, hidden internet links and email sites, and was angry and hurt to find that he had been having a relationship and satisfying his desires with a computer, while I lay frustrated in the bedroom, thinking he didn't love or desire me anymore. I didn't understand, why he wasn't open about his needs and desires, seeing how I had never opposed his dressing. He told me it was hard for him to explain, but that he had experienced an identity crisis, and that he didn't know who he was or wanted to be. We had some very long soul-searching discussions, and I spent hours on the computer learning more about transgender issues. The end result being, I have helped him to accept himself for who he is. I believe that my acceptance and support at that time encouraged him to fulfill his desires and helped him to come out to a point. While he was still in the closet to the rest of our family, friends, and co-workers, he dressed nightly in the privacy of our bedroom (my elderly parents still lived with us), and every weekend, for most of the day & night. In January 2006, I took him to Myrtle Beach for 5 days en femme. We went shopping, out to dinner, got her a manicure & pedicure and met some other local TG’s. It was wonderful for him, as it was the first time he every got to talk one on one with someone like himself. We stayed in the little restaurant for over 5 hours talking with them. At the time, Amy weighed 285 lbs., so we did lots of shopping while we were there and once we got home. I felt so bad about her having suffered in silence for so long, that it was me not her that went thru gender euphoria, and bought her over $5,000 worth of clothing, wigs & make up. However, with the weight of the secret off her shoulders, Amy started loosing weight and lost over 80 lbs in 3 months, so that led to more shopping. LOL

Myrtle Beach Condo January 2006


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By Nan Garbati

In April 2006, we went to our first transgender event. We left Charleston and drove to Atlanta, GA, where he turned into Amy and we had contacted some local girls and met them for dinner. The next morning it was off to Eureka Springs, AR for the En Femme Getaway. We spent the night in Memphis TN, before reaching Eureka Springs. Amy was really enjoying her cross-country trip en femme. The Getaway was a wonder experience, and we made many new friends both TG’s & GG’s. On the way home we stopped overnight in Nashville, TN and that morning Amy had to change back into boy mode, as we were driving straight thru back to Charleston. She hated every minute of it. But it had its humorous moments.

EnFemme Getaway April 2006 As my parents still lived with us, Amy had to stay in the closet other than in the privacy of our bedroom or if we went away for the weekend. But she was very happy and we grew closer than ever. During the Getaway there had been a fashion show, and many of the girls had modeled wedding gowns. Amy said, if we came back next year she would like to model one. I told her, oh no you don’t. I’ve been married 3 times and I never got to wear a real wedding gown, so you don’t get to where one before me. Well that led to our deciding that at the next En Femme Getaway in 2007 we would re-new our 25th wedding vows as two brides. Thus the shopping began again. LOL


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By Nan Garbati

Let me tell you, you can’t just buy a wedding dress off the rack for a TG that is 6’ 2”. We ordered a custom made gown from China off from ebay for Amy and I bought a used gown on ebay for me. We spent the next few months buying all the other goodies, i.e. shoes, jewelry, slips, flowers, bouquets, etc. Then went on to the cake and refreshments etc. and of course we had to write of vows. It was a great and exciting time for us both. Amy asked a girl named Crystal from San Diego, that we had met the year before to be her maid of honor and I asked Amy from Glamour Boutique in Vegas to be mine ( she had done make-overs at the previous Getaway and we had grown close).

Crystal & Amy planned a bachelorette party for us for the night before the wedding. We all had a wonderful time. Crystal had bought us banners & hats and had bought a pack of cards that are used for GG’s bachelorette parties, so we had to modify what was on the cards, since it was TG’s not GG’s carrying out the tasks. Crystal kept saying that Amy had to spend the night with her, as it was bad luck for the bride to see the bride before the wedding. LOL I told her that after 25 years of marriage, I thought we could skip that part. The wedding was wonderful and although we couldn’t have our real families there to share the special day, we had our trans family with us.


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By Nan Garbati

Here are some of the photos from the wedding & a copy of our vows:

The Bachelorette Party April 2007

The Wedding Party April 2007


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By Nan Garbati

The Cake!


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By Nan Garbati

The Happy Couple


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By Nan Garbati

Vows (Amy) (Amy) My darling Nan, 25 years have passed since we first pledged our commitment to one another. We have seen good times and bad, shared laughter and tears, known joy and sorrow. The only constant has been our devotion to each other. Your unconditional love, unwavering acceptance and never-ending support are gifts that I will cherish for eternity. Today, I want to renew those vows and again pledge my love and life to you. You are my best friend, my lover, my confidant, my soul mate. I love you without reservation and I will treasure your love for as long as I live.

(Nan) (Nan) Dearest Amy, it was 25 years ago that I met, fell in love, and married a man named Gary. He was the love of my life. I pledged to honor, encourage, and support him through our walk together through life. I promised to stand beside him through thick & thin, good times and bad, and joy and sorrow. Then, in November of 2005, Amy came into my life. She became my partner, my best friend, my everything. Today I take you Amy, as the love of my life. I want to spend the rest of my life hearing your thoughts and seeing your dreams. With every beat of my heart, I will love you always.


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By Nan Garbati

Next, came our 1st time at SCC in Atlanta. Wow, it was so awesome. There were over 840 paid attendees in the beautiful Crowne Ravina hotel in Atlanta. We met many new friends and ran into people from the En Femme Getaway that had been present for our vow renewal. We attended many informative seminars on various transgender topics. The most informative and moving was one given by Julie Nemechek & her wife. Then there was the first ever Transgender Career Fair where we picked up a lot of very useful & informative information on trans friendly employers.

SCC 2007


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By Nan Garbati

It was on the way home from SCC that I turned to Amy and told her I thought she needed to start looking into transitioning to live 24/7. I think she was shocked, to say the least. When we returned home, she set up a meeting with her ex-boss to talk with him about the possibilities of their company’s policies on GLBT policies (he is gay and had worked his way up in the company). He told her He didn’t think the corporation would support her transition on the job and if she planned to transition she should look for a company with trans friendly policies. She confided in her doctor and he made an appointment for her to see a therapist. Amy has been on hormones since January 2008. She is out to all of our close friends, and all of our family, and it has gone very well on that front. I don't think my parents really understand it all, but they are trying to be supportive. In September she got outed at work and was expecting a rough ride. She went to her boss and explained everything to him. Other discussions followed and the end result is that the company is going to support her transition at work. Her last day as Gary will be February 12 and her first day as Amy will be February 23. On February 17 she goes to court for her legal name change. So that’s where we are today. Many other transgenders have asked me how I was able to get thru this or to accept it. My reply is there is nothing to accept, I love the person I married and that person just happens to be transgendered and that doesn’t change the love I have for the person. This is the same person I married and have loved for over 25 years and will continue to love till the day I die.


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Editor’s Corner Rachel Williston Personal Website: http://rachelwilliston.com

Hi Everyone! If you have any articles for me to put into the next issue, please send them to [email protected] Please don’t forget that we are lucky enough to have 3 advice columnists (1 GG, 2 TGirls). Please use them as the valuable resources they are … I don’t want to lose them!

(http://rachelwilliston.com)

Here is my latest article of sorts …

A Special Word About Our January Issue! First, I want to thank everyone who has contributed to this special issue. The issue is mostly about relationships with TGirls. My hope is that this issue can be a resource for any couples struggling with the boyfriend/husband being a Tgirl. Genetic Girls are most likely confused, saddened, angry, and possibly feeling betrayed when they find out their boyfriend/husband is a Tgirl. While us Tgirls usually have a wealth of information on the subject, significant others (SO’s for short) do not. They need help in understanding. What follows are some of my thoughts on understanding Tgirls, some of which is pulled off my website.


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Understanding TGirls

Editor’s Corner Rachel Williston Personal Website: http://rachelwilliston.com

•Being a TGirl is not a choice. •TGirls have a feminine side that cannot be denied in the long run. •Tranvestism or Crossdressing is not considered a sexual deviation by the American Psychological Association. •There is no "cure" for being a TGirl and therapy will not stop a TGirl from being a TGirl. •The majority of TGirls are married and are not gay. They love their S.O. •Keeping their feminine side hidden from their S.O. is a difficult thing for a TGirl and is not lying or being dishonest. Not revealing her feminine side is a result of not wanting to lose their S.O. rather than an attempt to have a secret life of some sort. •If a S.O. accepts their partner's feminine side, the relationship will become stronger and happier. For Significant Others of TGirls, there is an ever-growing amount of information out there for you. My little part of this is a separate page on my website called “Understanding TGirls” which I will continue to develop. I hope this issue will help with relationships as girlfriends/wives try to understand this side of their boyfriends/husbands.


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Ask Sarah You got questions … and Sarah’s got answers! Advice from a genetic girl’s perspective (email me at [email protected]) Question: As a lifelong transgendered female, I take my feminine development to heart. I have tried to adopt many feminine routines into my daily life and believe these have helped me gain a greater appreciation of what being a woman truly means. Ever since my late teens however I find myself suffering from an intense case of "period envy". Menstruation and the feminine cycle play affect a woman life is so many ways, yet this is one feminine experience I have not been able to adopt into my life. Do you believe there is a way that girls like me who truly wish to experience everything in life as a GG does, might be able to simulate the menstrual cycle and periods in a realistic way? I am seeking your GG perspective as to how your cycle and periods have impacted your everyday life and how best I might incorporate this into my own life. I am much more interested in the emotional, psychological and perhaps spiritual impact menstruation has on a female. Some women imply that periods are "the curse" as these women focus primarily on the menstrual symptoms they endure such as a heavy flow, severe cramps, bloating, mood swings, etc. At the other end of the spectrum, I have read that some women seem to celebrate the arrival of their periods as nature's monthly way of confirming their femininity and their sexuality. These women view their periods sometimes as a reminder of their maternal role. I may never know where on the spectrum I might fall, but I do sincerely regret that I am not able to experience this unique feminine experience every month. Thanks, Katrina

Answer: Hmm…, I never really thought much about my period before and how much it affects my life. I guess for me, when I first got my period it symbolically meant I was no longer a little kid. Besides that, I found it to be quite a messy and inconvenient burden. I got it around the typical age, but for girls that get it early like 9 or 10 it can be even more burdensome and awkward to start physically developing at an age when most of their peers aren’t. The same can also be said for girls that get their period late as they do not physically develop at the same age as their peers.


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Ask Sarah … continued You got questions … and Sarah’s got answers! Advice from a genetic girl’s perspective (email me at [email protected]) As far as how it affects women emotionally, everyone is different. Some girls get severe imbalances before, during and sometimes after this time. Others it barely bothers them at all. For the most part, American culture views periods as a bothersome experience that could be better left without. You can see this in commercials for birth control that advertise getting your period only 4 times a year. It is also often used in American society to belittle women as to say they overreact and get over emotional when they have their period inferring their emotions are not valid during this time. In other countries and cultures a woman’s menstruation might mean something different and may be thought as a wonderful event, an initiation, shame, etc. From a feminine or womanly perspective, menstruation is none of these. First of all you have to remember that not only do transgender women exist, but so do transgender men who usually get their period just like GG women. Masculine women have periods and plenty of feminine women don’t. As far a marker for fertility, there are plenty of women and transgender men that menstruate and are not fertile. You Katrina, just like many other GG women, were born infertile. Fortunately, there are plenty of ways to bear and raise children that do not involve menstruation. There are also GG’s who just like you who never experience a period. Do consider them less womanly or feminine? Do you consider a transman womanly or feminine because he may have a monthly period or because he can give birth? What it all comes down to is accepting your body’s limitations and being happy with whatever health you are given. Not having a period does not make you less womanly. As noted before menstruation is not an exclusively GG experience. There is no point trying to emulate a “typical” GG lifestyle because none exists. There are plenty of wonderful experiences that you and many other transwomen experience that GG’s never will. Try to think about your unique assets and learning experiences that us GG’s miss out on! I suggest reading the book “Whipping Girl” by Julia Serano. It is a wonderful illustration of what it means to be a woman in American society whether you are trans or not. It also demonstrates a strong sense of trans pride. I hope this answers your question, Sarah


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Cocktails with Nicole Perspectives and advice from a TGirl (email me at [email protected])

Please feel free to email Nicole with your questions!

There were no questions submitted in time for this issue.


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Dear Abby L Advice from a Tgirl’s perspective (email me at [email protected])

There were no questions submitted in time for this issue.


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Relationships

Its All In The Smile

With A TGirl

By Sage

This is an article written by Rena Shelton’s wife Sage. Photos here are of Rena. I get asked often at meetings “How did you find out about Rena?” My husband told me and the next question is “how?” people seem to be looking for a magic formula on how to tell your wife. They want to tell their wife but they want to be sure to end up with an accepting wife not a divorce. Each person has to tell their Significant other in their own time and way. This is just to explain how my hubby did.

To set the stage, we have been married for thirty three years, three grown children and four grandchildren (now five). We live in a lovely small town where you can’t get away with much without starting the rumor mill. We have lived on our farm for the past twenty nine years, raised bunnies, chickens and goats. He has his own business and I stayed “home” for the first fifteen years with the children and then took jobs around the children's schedule, now I have a decent full time job so I bring in the benefits and a small pittance, he brings in the real money.


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Relationships


With A TGirl

(continued) … By Sage

This is an article written by Rena Shelton’s wife Sage. Photos here are of Rena. My fist reaction was “Thank God this I can work with it we have a very good life but my husband was seriously suffering with depression, winter was the worst, not working, not doing anything, sad, tense. You see, his dad had died on his fifty birthday, hubby had decided that he would to, well that day came and went; he was still alive, OK, now what was he going to do? He had purged almost all of his fem stuff just left a very small bag, one wig, one dress, two pair heels; he didn’t want anyone to find the stuff after he died. After much resistance on his part we had finally gotten a computer nothing special just a hand-me-down from my brother. Hubby didn’t want that thing in his house. I wanted to communicate with our oldest son who was based in Germany at the time. Hubby started really getting into it, then he upgraded to a gaming computer. He was using flight simulator, spending hours and hours on it. I was happy that he seemed to be better, very distracted but I worried less. Now it turns out that he was not spending all that much time “flying” but spending lots of time on Crossdresssers.com and a few other sites finding out the answers to questions he had his whole life.

It turns out that he was not the only man in the world with a little duffel bag and a secret. There are lots and lots of them out there. Even the terms were different he wasn’t a transvestite or a freak, he was a cross dresser, OK now that sounds better. The Lovely ladies on the site whom I will be forever grateful to, told him that he needs to tell me and how, choose a day when not much is going on, do it in drab, just tell the truth. So I came home from work and he says “Honey, we need to talk, did you take your blood pressure pill today? I have something to tell you”, I was standing by the stove getting ready to start supper and he says “I’m a cross dresser.”

Now first your mind goes blank, what? Did I hear him correctly? What’s a crossdresser?


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Relationships


With A TGirl


This is an article written by Rena Shelton’s wife Sage. Photos here are of Rena. So he starts to slowly explain. Then I ask the question that haunts me that I ever asked Him, “Are you gay?” “No.” about that time I started to breathe again. Now he’s still talking, I was hearing most of what he was saying but truthfully it was very noisy in my head. In the next few days I asked all of the questions that any wife would and ran the gamut of emotions. At one point in the first evening I gave him jewelry from his mother, a lovely pink cameo. He gave me papers that he had printed off of Dixie Darling’s site and a few others then we got on Crossdressers.com so I could do some reading, I would read for ten minutes ask twenty question and then read some more. I am honestly and truthfully grateful to God that hubby told me what was going on in his little cranium. Now I could start to put the pieces of the puzzle together. To get on Crossdresser.com you need a name so now that I “knew” what was going on I chose Sage which means to know. Of course in the past year the more I “learn” the less I know and I sort of wish I had gone with his suggestion of Isis but I really can’t change it now.

After I thought about what he did I truly think he is the bravest person I know, this wonderful person ran in to burning buildings when any normal person would run the other way but I bet he would tell you that telling me his secret was a whole lot harder than that. Now I’m not going to tell you that unburdening himself has been a magic pill that made everything better. We talked and talked and then we talked some more, I cried a little, I got mad a little, I got mean … very little.

I thought we had always been honest with each other and a lot of my allusions have been shattered, how could he lie so well to me? When will the next shoe drop? He says he's CD not TS but what if he really don't know yet? How could I be so stupid? So blind? What will happen if the kids find out? Will they not allow us to see the grandchildren?


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Relationships


With A TGirl


This is an article written by Rena Shelton’s wife Sage. Photos here are of Rena.

I decided to make up for some of the “things” he had been missing so Rena had her first “real Fem Christmas” After all the years of getting singing fish or red plaid hunting shirts I was going to give him the stuff that he really wanted. What I was really doing was replacing all of his makeup and skin care products. I was horrified that anyone would put on two year old mascara and decade old lipstick. He had worn the same wig for almost twenty years and it had never been washed, “Rena One” got a good bath and was styled, it looked a whole lot better but the poor dear has been replaced. He and I went to the wig shop where she was originally purchased and “got one for me” (?) then we found the internet, Rena has a dozen to choose from now. She has also gone from a small duffel bag to a small walk in closet. With her very busy social calendar she really does need an extensive wardrobe. We go to twice monthly meetings at Connecticut Outreach Society, Girls Night Out at Triangles, have gone over to friends homes and just this past month to a banquet in a hotel, her first out with real people event.

The question still has not been answered, why do I accept, condone, embrace, enjoy, and participate? The answer is simply because I love him and the chance to see that soft sweet smile that lights up not only her face but her eyes make it all worth it.


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Relationships

Valerie and Marsha

With A TGirl

By Valerie

This is an article written by Marsha’s fiancée, Valerie. Photos here are of Marsha My name is Valerie, and I am now engaged to a T-Girl, named Marsha. We met on an on line dating site, and I originally got to know Marsha in his male Persona, Mark. We talked extensively on line, and got to know each other pretty well, before we even talked on the Phone. I had been through two tough Marriages, and had been alone for 7 years, so to say the least, I was a little gun shy about meeting anyone. Mark was also divorced, because he had been married to a selfish, close-minded Woman, and, in the dating world, he had experienced some pretty traumatic treatment by Women that didn't know themselves at all, and wouldn't or couldn't accept themselves, and/or him, so, needless to say, we took it extremely slow.


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Relationships

Valerie and Marsha

With A TGirl

(continued) … By Valerie

This is an article written by Marsha’s fiancée, Valerie. Photos here are of Marsha When we began our Phone Conversations, he told me that he practiced an "Alternative Lifestyle" that he would like to eventually share with me. Of course, my curiosity won out, and I finally just asked him to tell me about it. Please keep in mind, that we had never actually even met in person, prior to this. We had both come to the conclusion that there was definitely a connection, and that at some point we would actually meet, but he was still hesitant to tell me. I finally just told him that if there was ever going to be a serious Relationship, that Honesty had to be the Foundation, he agreed, and so he told me that he was a Cross Dresser. I knew very little actual facts about it, and found myself to be quite interested, and he was eager to indulge my Questions. I have to be totally honest, and admit that when he first told me, I felt a little bit of doubt about whether or not I could maintain a serious Relationship with him, but then I decided that I should meet him and really get to know him, before making any concrete decisions, which I did. And, I can truthfully say that I am so very glad that I did. The Man that met me at his Door that first evening was tall, handsome, intelligent, well dressed, and to put it plainly, everything that I had ever looked for in a Man. Little did I know at the time, but everything that I was looking for in a Woman as well.


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Relationships

Valerie and Marsha

With A TGirl


This is an article written by Marsha’s fiancée, Valerie. Photos here are of Marsha During Dinner, I found myself trying to assimilate the two Personas , and I couldn't imagine what he would look like, dressed as a Woman, so, I finally just asked if I could see some Photos, and he agreed. To say the very least, I was stunned...he was breathtakingly beautiful in his female Persona. I began a Barrage of Questions, all of which he answered openly and honestly, and some with a lot of amusement. He found my interest in his female Persona touching. I found my interest surprisingly arousing, and I was unable to look away from the Photos. We continued to discuss Marsha and some of her Friends, and I found myself walking through a Door that I never want to pass back through. Our Relationship started that evening, as well as my coming to grips with my Lesbian Tendencies, and it has been a wonderful, happy, erotic Journey. Ladies, if you've ever wondered what it would be like to make love to another Woman, I highly recommend sharing your S.O. / Spouses' Lifestyle. Just keep in mind, that the Man that you love and sleep beside every night is there, and will always be...so embrace it, don't discount it. Give yourself a chance to grow and your Relationship an Opportunity to metaphoris into something that is truly unique, beautiful, and frankly, quite spectacular! I suppose the best Analogy that I can offer you is to look at it this way...Every day when you go into work, you are a totally different person than you are when you are at home, or out with your Friends, or your Kids. We all have different sides and Personalities that come out at different times in our lives, and not everyone in your Life will ever see every side of You. And, so it is with a Man that enjoys dressing as a Woman. Some are comfortable enough with it that they live as a Woman every day, some can barely admit it to themselves, and would fall under a Category that I would call androgynous...they like parts of the Persona, but can't bring themselves to dress completely as a Female. Then, there are Men like mine, that do it in the privacy of our Home, where we share it with like minded Friends, and their Spouses and/or S/O. The greatest Reasons to be in a Relationship with or married to a Cross dresser, are, that your Wardrobe doubles, you can always get an honest Opinion about your Outfit, and if you feel like being pampered, they will always do your Makeup, Hair and Nails for you, or vice-verse. It is a very secretive, sensual, erotic, sexy Lifestyle in which we reside, and I wouldn't change it for anything! So, please, if you suspect that your Mate is Cross dressing, make an attempt to share it with them, discuss their reasoning, and let them tell you about that side of them, and it will help you to see another side of yourself...I hope this glimpse into my private Life has helped anyone who took the time to read it. I have attached some Photos of Marsha for your viewing pleasure.


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Relationships

Valerie and Marsha

With A TGirl


This is an article written by Marsha’s fiancée, Valerie. Photos here are of Marsha If you have any Questions, or Comments, please feel free to contact me at [email protected].

Sincerely,

Valerie


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Relationships

Jayne Jolene’s Story

With A TGirl

By Jayne Jolene Schmidt

Like so many other girls on this site, I have run the gammot on the relationship experience. As a girl who realized that she was one a long time ago, I have done the purging, trying Mom's stuff, cousins stuff that they were passing on to others through my Mom. I've gotten caught and been threatened with seeing a Physc or counselor, being outed to my friends, etc.. While single I had a lot of girlfriends, and dated more than my share. Constantly when I became able with money of my own I would buy and purge when I started doubting myself and ashamed. I won't say I didn't have some good experiences, Honolulu in 69 was a fantastic week as well as the long weekend in Belgium and the TV Parade. But those stray from the topic. I fell in Love and married a wonderful girl in 1970. She was divorced and my first and only marriage. Two children and quite a few sneaking sessions later, I felt it was time to discuss my feelings with her. I picked the time when we were both the only ones at home. I guess I blew it when I started with "what's wrong, you seem so down?". She immediately brought out a pair of panties and said she found them in the dryer and they sure weren't hers. I was I admit dumbfounded but stated "That is what I wanted to talk to her about!" I stopped her next question with how I still loved her and wanted her. I stated I had never cheated on her or come close to it. She believed me but still wanted to know about the panties! I thought a second and asked is this the only thing that is bothering you?. Knowing how well I knew her, she blurted out that she had been seeing another guy when I was out of town, but only twice. I thought, hmmm an opening. I told her I had suspected as much and couldn't really blame her based on the amount of traveling I had been doing. I then, after some tears and hugging, breached my unexplained desire to dress in women's clothing and even use makeup and a wig.


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Relationships


With A TGirl

(continued) … By Jayne Jolene Schmidt

She was quiet for quite a while before she asked the obvious questions we all have received from most that we came out to. I explained that the needs and feeling had been kept out of my mind for a lot of years. This though not true, seemed to satisfy her. When asked why now I answered that it was not a sexual thing but with all the stressors from work and hectic schedules with our kids it was the only thing which gave me a feeling that I was in control and could relax when I was in the mode. Obviously she still had questions and it was a topic discussed several more times. Halloween came closer and the urges with it, so I decided to bring it up in a non-threatening way. We were going to a Halloween party with some other couples and there would be cash prizes for costumes and for whomever could go the night without being found out. I explained that everyone was to arrive separate from their spouse or girl friend, so we needed to come up with some ideas. She decided to go as a Gypsy with a half-face mask and a wig. I actually was asked if I thought I could do her make-up. Tempted as I was I told her that a neighbor who was not in the group to do it, good idea. Then out of the clear blue she said she had an idea for me, I had several ideas go through my mind, but none were the same as hers. She decided that since I had been talking to her about how I felt and it was Halloween, that I should simply go as a female character. I don't know if she was testing me or what but she refuded my ideas on how to go and decided it had to be a Go-Go Girl, mini dress, fishnets, boots headband and all. She stared getting the things in place and I would try things on when she brought them home. We went out and found a bra, white lace with pushup cups, and panties to match. I convinced her that a sheer pair of pantyhose would be best under the fishnets. Next came the biggest surprise, she had a friend who was a cosmetologist and had her own salon, so we went to see her


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Relationships


With A TGirl


She was great, she had some wigs and found a blonde long one which fit well then we made an appointment for me to show up at her shop after closing on the night of the party to have makeup, hair and glue on nails applied and polished. After MUCH halfhearted refusals , she was to also dress me (jewelry only) with items my wife provided, pierced earrings and all. I literally had to hold in the excitement I was feeling. I had borrowed a friends convertible MG for the night to add to the mystery as to my identity, took the sample lipstick, compact, shadow, and things she said I would need if a touchup was required, put them in the small purse my wife gave me and headed out. I had a ball and was never identified taking home an extra $150 to boot. I never revealed who I was and no one caught on and my wife didn't say anything. When we got home she commented on how nice I looked and how much fun she saw me having. I thanked her for the idea and help. This is when she said she would allow me to do it on Halloween but that any other time she didn't want to know or see me. But she said she was OK with it as long as she didn't know. We had very few conversations about it and I actually tried to not give in to the need. I had my basics with my mini dress and added a pair of slacks and top, and an above the knee nice dress. The wig I bought and I found a pair of over-the-knee boots. All this was safely stored and saved, not to be worn more than a few times over the next few years, until one night while were cuddling she said she had found another pair of panties in the dryer and was I doing it again. Why deny it, bad move I was told "never again, if I couldn't be happy with her and dressing as a man should, then that was it!" I told her I had gotten rid of everything and would be the way she wanted.


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Relationships


With A TGirl


Long story now ending, I tried for 15 years to deny myself the true comfort of clothes I wanted to wear, and when on assignment in California got a letter stating she wanted to get a divorce and it was set in her mind. I told her that it would probably make her boyfriend happy and that she was to do what she wanted. When I returned home, I moved out (back to CA) and signed the papers. Divorce final one month after 30th Ann. In a letter she said that she could never get behind my desires for dressing and that she hoped I would be able to feel free to do it. She hadn't put it into the papers for the divorce reasons, and said emphatically that she never really did support me it was just her way to justify her own actions. To date I believe she suspects I an doing it but has never said or asked anything. Neither of my kids are aware and that applies to my whole family and mutual friend we both share. I am happier and striving to make it possible to do it more frequently and for longer periods of time. jj


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Relationships

Kaveena’s Story

With A TGirl

By Miss Kaveena Photos here are of Kaveena

I have been out for years and have helped many come out and I have been with my wife the whole time. She likes that I have a fem side and can be a good house keeper. She has been ill for the last 20 years slowly losing more and more of her body (she has MS) and, well, its been real hard on me. She is so weak now and in the hospital. I am known by many any have many women friends that are ok with Kaveena, so I’m sort of lucky in that way.

I know so many girls like me where their wife becomes threatened by dressing and, well, I see where they come from. They have to become part of it to enjoy it. I have been my wife’s her full time nurse the past 10 years. She’s paralyzed now and I am It. I love making love dressed or away some where and, well, I can look pretty damn good for my age . I fell in love with my inner self when I did my makeup and got dressed. I told all my friends and they met me and they were ok. Things have been ok for years, but now with Beverly so ill, I just don’t know Day to Day.


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Rachel’s TG Crossword (answers at the end of this issue … don’t peek first!) REPEATED FROM DECEMBER ISSUE … A NEW ONE WILL APPEAR IN FEBRUARY


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In The Company Of Others By Candice O. Minky January 2009 I was listening to Arlo Guthrie on the airplane while flying over Niagara Falls crossing into Canada. Playing on my MP3 player at that moment was “Coming Into Los Angeles.” I was substituting my own words as I was listening. “Flying into Toronto…bringing in a bagful of clothes….don’t touch my bags if you please Mr. Customs man. I was hopeful the words would not prove to be prophetic. This may be painfully obvious but it is worth mentioning for the less seasoned traveler, Canada is not the 51st state. If you show up at the border with a cavalier attitude towards their sovereign nation the Canadian officials will be quick to point this out. It is best to be cooperative and polite. Then, hopefully, they won’t ask why you have a second bag full of women’s clothes, makeup, a wig and false boobs. Entering into Canada you must first clear Canadian Customs by filling out a Declarations Form. Then you will be interviewed by a Customs Agent. They will mark up your Declarations Form and from there you proceed to Immigration. Usually this amounts to a pass through but on this day I would hear the words, “Can you step over here please?” It seems I was being asked to have a more in depth interview at Immigration. Lucky me. I had to answer a series of questions which included asking me if I was ever arrested about 5 different times. Luckily I have never been arrested and I was allowed to skip over this little speed bump. And, I didn’t have to answer any questions about all the clothes.


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In The Company Of Others By Candice O. Minky January 2009 (continued) After crossing the border you will find Toronto to be a very progressive city. It is a culturally diverse and open city that boasts a GLBT community of almost 350,000. Toronto has a “Gay Village” where transgenders are widely accepted. The northern end of Church Street is especially t-girl friendly. There are many clubs and restaurants in the Village along Church Street and Yonge Street that you can mix in comfortably. The southern end of Church Street is more hardcore gay and includes the infamous Goodhandy’s. Goodhandy’s is located at 120 Church and is one of Toronto’s sex clubs. Here patrons can engage in sex inside the club if they choose. Large screens project constant pornography and t-girl strippers bare all. I have heard you can forego the cover charge if you choose to come in naked. I am also told they will hand you a towel. Free condoms and lube are available near the restrooms should you need them. Toto this is definitely not Kansas. Tgirl nights are usually Mondays, Tuesdays and Thursdays. Check their website for details and events at www.goodhandys.com .


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In The Company Of Others By Candice O. Minky January 2009 (continued) On the northern end of the Village you can find O’Grady’s Tap & Grill at 518 Church Street. My friend Larry plays in a pool league there with several post op girls. It is a nice pub and boasts the largest outdoor patio on Church Street as well as free pool. Their website is www.ogradyschurch.ca. The kitchen is open late, until 2AM, and 3AM on weekends. I have eaten here several times and found the staff and patrons to be quite friendly and pleasant. One evening I was followed into the ladies room by a very beautiful, very young blonde GG who told me I had the most beautiful legs in the world. She proceeded to tell me that she was jealous and I gave her a hug and told her she had nothing to be jealous about. She was gorgeous. If I didn’t have kids older than her I would have taken her home and married her. I enjoyed a lovely dinner one evening at Sambuca’s on Church with Larry and two t-girls, Sandy and Cherise. Sambucas is located at 489 Church and their URL is www.sambucas.ca. Their menu is Italian cuisine and pizza. Atmosphere was nice and relaxed. Food and service was good and the conversation was non stop.


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In The Company Of Others By Candice O. Minky January 2009 (continued) All four of us went to Pegasus Bar after dinner, www.pegasusonchurch.ca, to play some pool. They are located right next door and upstairs at 489B Church. We decided to play some 8 ball so I was teamed up with Cherise and Larry with Sandy. I am definitely not trying to brag here but let’s just say that Cherise and I did not lose one game.


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In The Company Of Others By Candice O. Minky January 2009 (continued)

Another great spot on Church is George’s Play located at 504 Church. Play is a t-girl bar with nightly drag shows. Their URL is www.playonchurch.com . I had met a girl named Sarah from Toronto at Fan Fair in Provincetown last October and I ran into her at Play. I danced all night with her and her friends. We danced on the dance floor, and up on the stage, and we danced practically non stop. I love to dance and so it was great fun. One of the GG’s I was dancing with teased me about wearing her out. She was a college student from Michigan and a very nice young lady. After all that dancing another young college student from Toronto asked me to join her for breakfast. She was a lovely t-girl named Madison and quite the conversationalist. She kept apologizing for talking too much but I did not mind at all and enjoyed her company. We dined at Fran’s on College Street which has been around since 1940. It is open 24 hours a day and has a varied menu. Breakfast is served all day. It had quite a crowd for 3 o’clock in the morning.


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In The Company Of Others By Candice O. Minky January 2009 (continued) Next stop was nearly 3000 miles southwest to the “City by the Bay” - San Francisco. I have many valued friends in the community there and I was anxious to get back and see them. I had some free time during my first day and did some shopping on Haight Street. The intersection of Haight and Ashbury is one of the most famous in the city and was the epicenter of the free love movement and the psychedelic counterculture. The Haight still maintains its bohemian roots. It is dotted with head shops and music shops including the very famous Amoeba Records. Many rock bands like the Jefferson Airplane, the Grateful Dead, and Janis Joplin’s Big Brother and the Holding Company all lived in the neighborhood. It also is home to many eclectic clothing boutiques and lingerie shops. Some of the shops specialize in retro fashions and vintage lingerie. It is a very unique shopping experience and much different than hitting the mall. I did go back to the Haight at night and had my t-girl friend Miss Angelica stop traffic while she took my picture at the corner of Haight Ashbury. We had fun taking the photo and everyone around us got a chuckle too.


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In The Company Of Others By Candice O. Minky January 2009 (continued) Another great place to shop is the appropriately named Market Street. There are many shops there including the Westfield San Francisco Centre. Here you can find five stories of Nordstroms, Bebe, Bloomingdale’s, Aldo and H&M to name a few. Other retailers like Forever21 can also be found on Market Street. No visit to San Francisco would be complete without a stop at Diva’s on 1081 Post Street. Diva’s is the preeminent t-girl nightclub in the city. Their website is www.divassf.com . I was accompanied by my good friend Tim and we were instantly greeted by our friend Alexis the bar manager. Another t-girl friend Andrea was working the 1st floor bar with her. It wasn’t long before I saw many friends who are regulars here. My good friend Kate came in and is one of the sweetest t-girls in the world.


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In The Company Of Others By Candice O. Minky January 2009 (continued) I tried not to give her a big lipstick smear on the cheek which I have been known to do! My friend David came in and we had a chance to chat. He is one of the Bay Area’s premier t-girl photographers and you can purchase some of his books at the bar. Steve who owns the club was there and it was good to catch up with him. He loads me up with free passes for admission so if you see me out and about, and you know you will get to San Francisco, ask me for some. Taryn is the upstairs bartender and an absolute doll. Corey is her boyfriend and reminds me of Brad Pitt, although Corey is more of a sweety I’m sure. I hope they continue to grow in love together. Byron was there and is always providing a laugh and a smile. I was saddened to hear my favorite restaurant in San Francisco has closed since my visit in September. It was called Octavio Diner and it had a great piano bar. Houston was the piano player and he would dedicate songs to me and sing songs about Boston. Such a charming man he was that when I left there last I jumped up on the stage, walked across, and gave Houston a big hug and a kiss. He and his partner Norm have since moved to Hawaii. Best wishes to you both. So now I needed a new favorite place to dine. My friend Tim suggested Ti Piacera in the Nob Hill neighborhood located at 1507 Polk Street. I believe Ti Piacera to be Italian for “you will like this.” It is a charming little eatery that boasts San Francisco style and Italian hospitality. The pasta is homemade and the ingredients are fresh. Their menu can be found at www.tipiacera.com . Sal the owner is a very gracious man and is often greeting and mixing in with his patrons. I enjoyed it so much that I went back there a second night during my stay and Sal sent over a bottle of wine to our table. He is a real class act and he runs a real classy establishment.


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In The Company Of Others By Candice O. Minky January 2009 (continued) When in San Francisco I most often can be found with my very good friend Tim. We have torn the city up more than once and he always makes a fuss about me when I come to visit. Everywhere I go with Tim he is always recognized and greatly admired by many. He is very much a sweetheart and he has the respect of the whole city. Tim is the Bar Manager at Encore Karaoke Lounge also on Nob Hill. It is located at 1550 California Street near the corner of Polk. Their website is www.encorekaraokesf.com . Their songbook I believe to be about 28,000 songs. It is owned by two former patrons. One of the owners Chris I have had opportunity to meet and found him to be a very nice man. Encore is a neighborhood bar as well as a karaoke venue. There are many regulars and it has a nice neighborhood feel to it. If ever you are in San Francisco make sure you go there and ask for my friend Tim. Tell him you’re a friend of Miss Candy. Well that’s my time for now. I ran out of space to write about my trip to Chicago so I will write about it next month along with my upcoming trip to First Event. The trip to Chicago was a blast and I am sure First Event will be too. If you are at First Event make sure you say hello. Remember every step of the journey IS the journey. Don’t go through your journey alone. Get out and enjoy the company of others. Much love, Candice Candy can be contacted at [email protected] or at URNA, http://profiles.urnotalone.com/76280


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TGirl Tips by Mellissa Lynn Hi, ladies, and Happy New Year! Mine will be starting off with a visit to the unemployment line. Yep, Mellissa's no longer a working girl, at least for now. The factory I’m working at is shutting half of its operations down in December, and I’m being shown the door. But I'm trying to keep positive and look at it as an opportunity and not a casualty. ANYWAY! That's not what you're here to read about. Here's another month's worth of makeup and beauty tips, and a thought to ponder: next month is my oneyear anniversary of writing this column. I'm gathering my year's worth of columns into a single file for anyone who might be interested in owning it; let me know at [email protected] On with the column! If you have curly hair and are prone to frizz, keep two conditioners on hand. Use a heavy one every time you wash your hair, and a deep one to use once a week. Frizzy hair can never be overconditioned! +++ Not only are long nails "out," they're also inconvenient! If you're on a computer on a regular basis, you're likely to break your nails as you type. Short, rounded nails look best, and are much more comfortable when you work or type. Also, they're much easier to take care of. Did you know that it's possible to "over-wash" your face? It's true, especially if you have oily skin you're trying to dry out. Over-washing can actually cause, rather than prevent acne, as well as rashes and dermatitis. If you have any of these symptoms, consider switching products. +++ If you get foundation in the wrong shade, don't throw it out! Makeup is too expensive and too hard to shop for. Try this: blending a few mismatched colors can help you find just the right shade.


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TGirl Tips by Mellissa Lynn (continued) This your make your

is a good tip for girls who are just beginning to try wearing makeup. Start with lipstick. The color and brightness will be a good gauge as to how much you should up your eyes and cheeks. Remember, never draw attention to more than one part of face at a time!

+++ Have you ever heard that the camera can add ten pounds to your figure? Well, the reverse is also true; the way you pose is everything in how you look in pictures. To make yourself look thinner, turn a bit sideways with one foot in front of the other, put your shoulders back and your chest out. Not only does it look good in photos -it's also good posture! +++ Do you color your hair? Keep this thought in mind. Women with shorter hair tend to look better with a full color job than with highlights. Medium to long hair looks wonderful with highlights, especially if your hair is also long around the face. +++ I love a good part in my hair; when it's just right, the effect is very feminine and looks wonderful overall. If you have a long or oval face, a side part works best -line it up with arch in your eyebrow. Round or square faces can be made to appear longer with a middle part, and prominent foreheads or chins appear smaller with a part that's just slightly off-center. Make sure to part your hair while it's wet, so it dries in place.

Are you wearing your liner correctly? One common mistake is to only line the outer half of the eye. This is a great way to make your eyes look smaller... which totally defeats the purpose of eyeliner. Whether you're lining just the top lash line or both top and bottom, always make sure that you fully extend the line from the innermost corner of the eye to the outer corner. +++ I read this eyelash trick in a recent teen magazine. I haven't tried it yet, so caveat emptor. This will, in theory, make your lashes appear thicker. Dot a skinny dark eyeliner pencil between lashes. It creates the optical illusion that your lashes are thicker and fuller.


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TGirl Tips by Mellissa Lynn (continued) When you have a chance to take a long bath, add some sea salt to the water. It's inexpensive, helps remove impurities from your skin, and (best of all) is very relaxing. +++ Didn't choose your hair color so well? If you've done a home dye job with semipermanent color, use dandruff or clarifying shampoo to strip out the color (the exact reason you're often told not to use it!). Semipermanent color takes about 48 hours to set, so make sure you shampoo in that time. If not, it should fade in 6-8 weeks. +++ No matter how flawless your skin is and how you look without makeup, always keep lipstick or gloss with you -- even if you don't wear any foundation or anything else, a little color on your lips can help you look your best. A bit of mascara first thing in the morning is helpful, too, if you feel no reason to spend half an hour in front of the mirror. This even applies when being male and you want just a hint of femininity (just for yourself); use a lipstick that's close to your natural lip color and a light brown mascara, and you can be a little bit girlish without anyone being the wiser. Want a little feminine touch in your drab boring boy life? Wear a little bit of perfume! Whether you are dressed in your finest silkies or in a wool business suit, there is nothing that is going to perk up your senses and create a mood more than your scent. Find a scent that You love on yourself, one that suits your personality or try different scents for different moods. There are many unisex colognes on the market that would not be out of place anywhere. You'll be amazed at how girlish you feel when you catch a whiff of yourself at an odd moment. +++ One of my favorite things to do when en femme is to go to the salon. I LOVE having my hair done! I try to never have it done the same way twice. Being ultra-predictable and boring with your hair went out of style years ago. Beauty editors use this rule of thumb; if you've had the same hairstyle for two years, then it's probably time for a change. Personally, My thoughts are if you have the same hairstyle two weeks in a row, you're in a rut, but that's just me...


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TGirl Tips by Mellissa Lynn (continued)

If you don't use extra-moisturizing cream already, you might consider switching to it for the winter. For extra hydration, apply while your skin is still wet. +++ Be careful of scrubs and are likely to have sharp you have sensitive skin. perfectly round, they'll important in the winter,

exfoliants that use things like ground-up walnut shells. They edges and can irritate or even cut your face, especially if Look for a cleanser that uses "microbeads"; since they are do their job without irritating your skin. This is especially when your skin may already be rough and raw from the weather!

+++ For anyone out there who's blessed with long, real hair, this is a good way to trim a little time from the morning regimen. You can cut up to 15 minutes off your morning preparation time by trying this technique: with your dryer set on low, turn your head upside down and dry while using your fingers to style. Spend most of the time on the nape of your neck -- that's the area that takes the longest to dry. The outer layers of your hair will air-dry much more quickly. +++ Put an old toothbrush to good use. Before you go to bed, rub your lips with a toothbrush to slough off dead skin. It's best to do this before bed -- no more waking up with dry, chapped lips! If you like, apply a light coat of lip balm afterward. +++ Want to give your hair a little extra shine? Increase the amount of vitamin E in your diet. Nuts and green vegetables are good for this. Omega-3 and omega-6 fatty acids also improve your hair's health; you can get those from salt-water fish and dark green, leafy veggies. Iron deficiency, which comes from a diet lacking in things like meat, eggs, and cereals, can damage your hair. Make sure to eat the proper amount, as well as fresh fruits and vegetables. Vitamin C helps the body absorb iron.


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TGirl Tips by Mellissa Lynn (continued) When applying moisturizer as part of your daily routine, make sure not to use it directly around your eyes -- this skin is more likely to retain fluid, and moisturizer will make the under-eye area appear puffier. But do remember to use some on your neck and throat; skin can become dry there, too. +++ Facial creams and lotions help keep your skin from drying out, but consider investing in a humidifier as well. It may not seem like a health and beauty aid, but you'll see results almost instantly -- not only does it keep your skin from getting dry overnight, but it reduces the risk of colds and other airborne illnesses. +++ Did you know that you can actually get sun burnt in the winter? It's true! Even if it isn't bright or overly sunny out, wear at least SPF 15 when you go out -- either sunscreen or foundation with sunscreen in it. UVA and UVB rays can still hit you, even on cloudy, cold winter days. +++ Here's a quick fix for make-up removal: instead of cold cream or just soap and water, try a cotton pad or ball with baby oil. Swipe it across your face. It works just as well as a commercial make-up remover. +++ And that's a wrap for my first column of 2009! I hope you all have a wonderful year with plenty of opportunities to let your inner girl shine. As always, if you need to talk to me about anything, my e-mail address is [email protected]. See you next month!


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A Week In The “Boro” (Statesboro, GA) By Barbara Marie Davidson July 28th 2008 started out like any other day – “boring”. However, I had decided to spend the day en femme, which I was looking forward to. Before I could start, I had to make a quick trip by the church to drop off some communion bread that I had made over the weekend. With all the extras time I have, I make 6 small loafs usually ever other week for the church to use. When I got back home, it was a quick shower, shave and make over. One hour later, I was out the door. I was wearing a red plaid “skort” with a low cut black top,, Black loafers and purse. I was wearing one of my new wigs, dark auburn, which I had gotten from Paula Young a few days before. I was also wearing a “cleavage creator” under my bra and breast forms. (Thanks to a suggestion from our sister, Cheryl H, who wears one.) I got it from Glamour Boutique. Let me tell you, girls, it works. After stopping to fill up the car with petrol. It was off to AG Supply, a farming and hardware store, for some parts for my grill. However, what I wanted was on back order. From there, I went to the post office not only to get stamps but to mail some letters. From there, I went to Ruby Tuesdays to get a menu, (there was no grand entrance like there was at the one in Atlanta near the Hotel), as I am planning to go there en femme in the near future for a light lunch. Upon leaving Ruby Tuesdays, I went to visit a member of out church who knows about me. He and his partner have seen my pictures, but had never met Barbara until now. We had a great visit and tentatively set up a day next week for lunch at Ruby Tuesdays.


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A Week In The “Boro” (Statesboro, GA) … continued By Barbara Marie Davidson Upon leaving his house, I did some window-shopping at the mall, going to Belks, Penny’s, Claire’s and a shoe store. However, I did not buy a thing. From there I went grocery shopping before going home with my “spoils” from the grocery store. After a quick lunch of escargot (shades of Steak & Ale) with mushrooms, garlic butter and cheese and a glass of my homemade cranberry wine, it was out the door for some more “shopping” or browsing en femme. I went to Wal-Mart’s (Wally-world) and to K-Marts, but again did not purchase a thing. I then dropped by the home of one of the nurses that I use to work with years ago, but alas, no one was home. Both she and her husband know of Barbara but have never seen my pictures or met me. It was to be a “Show and Tell”. They will just have to wait a little longer. When I got home, my son from Savannah called. He had been talking with a lady that works at a salon at the airport and she wants to meet Barbara. I told him that I would do it but he would have to set it up. He called back a little while later saying that every thing was set for Friday afternoon about 1 pm and I would get a free manicure out of it as well. What more could a “girl” ask for. All in all, it was a pleasant day en femme. I had a great time being treated like a lady everywhere I went. I did not “bump” in to any one that I knew nor was I constantly looking over my shoulder. That is a milestone for me. The one draw back to the entire day was I still do not have a “shopping pal” to go out and about with. I have even posted a note on cross dressers.com looking for another Person in a 50 mile radius of Savannah, but have had no luck as of yet. On Tuesday evening, I went back to the nurse’s house, in my bubba mode, and showed them all of my pictures. Well, they were impressed but still wanted to meet Barbara. I told them that it could be arraigned for Friday evening when I got back from Savannah. Wednesday was an off day as I had had several doctors appoints. At one of the appointments, I met this lady from Maine who was here temporarily with her husband for the summer. Of all people to run into, I found out while talking with her that he designs BANJO minnows and comes to Brooklet where there is a plant to make the molds, and test them out before, sending them over seas to be manufactured. It comes to find out that my son had been in touch with this gentleman several times lately by Email. Friday, Bo was invited out to the plant for a tour and was given a number of lures. They have a fishing date for Saturday afternoon.


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A Week In The “Boro” (Statesboro, GA) … continued By Barbara Marie Davidson Thursday afternoon, I was again out and about again as Barbara.. The Pendleton skirts that I had altered 6 months no longer fit they were too big. I found a tailor shop here in the Boro and went to have them altered again. She is taking them in about 2 inches and adding some elastic so that they will fit and still have a little give. It was not until she was done that I told her the truth. She thought that I was a woman the whole time. She then complimented me on my make up and the way I was dressed and as well as the way I carried my self. She said she would have never known if I had not told her. I left her one of my cards and will go back next Friday to pick them up. (Shades of my article on So You Need to have some Clothes Altered) Friday, I was out the door at 11:00 headed to Savannah for a 1 pm appointments at the Salon. I was wearing the same but dress that I wore to Georgia State for the seminar on hetero sexual- cross-dressing along with my black 2-inch pumps and black purse. I was Wearing my formal wig that I usually wear when we go to dinner. I stopped at SAMS and did some “window shopping” as I had some time to kill. About 12:45, I arrived at the salon. The girls said, “Do you need any help, MAM”. I just politely said I had a 1pm appointment with Lucia. Their eyes got real big and “Are you Bruce’s Dad and I said yes!! They said that I could have fooled them big time. The two hours that I was there was like giving a class at Ga State. They were full of questions and I answered them the best I could. It was a learning experience for all of us. I told them about TriEss, Sig Eps and Southern Comfort. They even wanted to have their pictures taken with me. When I left 2 ½ hours later, my nails were done (free of charge and my parking ticket was paid). From there I went across town to the bass Pro Shop to pick up some stuff for my son, Bo, after which I stopped at a Mexican restaurant for a late lunch before making the trip home. When I got home I stopped at the grocery store to pick up the stuff needed to make a casserole for Saturday night. By then, it was 6:30 pm, so I kept my promise, and went back to my friend’s house for she and her husband to meet Barbara. They were more impressed with me than they had been with the pictures. They wanted to have some pictures taken with me and of course I agreed. I am not shy any more. We have a mutual friend who is also a nurse and a cross dresser. However he is also gay. He does live in Atlanta. They both said I was much better looking than he ever thought about being. She also complimented me on my makeup, clothes and the way I carried my self. (What more could a “girl” ask for”!!! After about an hour, I went home and put Barbara away for a day or so. I was Tired. Thus my day in the Boro was more like 5 days in and about the Boro.


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Pretty TGirl Members Then and Now (Photos of how we looked when first dressing as a girl and how we look today) Charlotte Louise Richardson Then Today

This could be you here! Then Today We are always looking for photo’s of our members from when they first started dressing and now. Please post them in the group. We would love to put them in our magazine.


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Recipes by Mollie Bell


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Articles reprinted in Pretty Tgirls Magazine have the approval of The Canadian http://www.agoracosmopolitan.com/transgender_transsexual.html

Tell Her The Truth About Crossdressing (by Brianna Austin) ~~~~~~

There are many crossdressers that are sure that by hiding their dressing desires that they are "protecting" their wives and or girlfriends. But are they protecting the women they supposedly love, or themselves? Many CDs are simply too embarrassed to acknowledge the truth about their crossdressing desires with the female they love. They hardly understand it themselves, so how are they supposed to explain it to someone else? But being trans is not something you do (unless you're a fetishist, which may be driven by things other than gender identity); it is something you are, and as such, by locking it away in the closet you're wife (or girlfriend) only knows you as a fragmented person, not the complete person you are.

Many crossdressers learn to become liars and manipulators of the truth to avoid the humiliation of having their secret discovered.


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Tell Her The Truth About Crossdressing … continued (by Brianna Austin) ~~~~~~ Truth can be hard. Especially when it requires telling someone you are in love with something you're embarrassed about. Fear is ever present; the fear she will look down on you, the fear that she will no longer want to -- or be able to -- love you, the fear that she will leave you. At the same time, to make her an unwilling participant in a secret life she is unaware of, which at some point in time will reveal itself anyway, is cruel and unfair. After all, you are allowing her to build a life based on a misconception about who you are as an individual, and who you are together as a couple. The concept that you're "protecting" her is just another lie that you convince yourself of. In truth you're protecting yourself at her expense. Ultimately from every account I have ever heard wives and girlfriends in long term relationships ultimately find out anyway, probably because most TGs subconsciously want them to know. So do it in the beginning so that "if" you are going to have a relationship it begins with honesty and grows in truth. Otherwise when she does find out it shatters everything she thought you were, and everything you had together. She will likely feel bewildered and betrayed. You will have tricked her into a false understanding of who you are, and how could she ever really trust you again? Truth does not always result in happy endings however. I know this from personal experience. Yet even through unhappy endings I am still a fan of truth at all costs, because the little white lies we tell to hide our secret lives can evolve into habits of deception that permeate other areas of our lives, sometimes without us even realizing it. I wrote a song many years ago and the lyrics seem relevant here: Everyone of us has known sadness Everyone of us has known what it is to cry Always chasing love, never knowing quite why

Know why you seek love from the beginning. Ask yourself why you are looking for a relationship with this woman. Is it love, lust or validation?


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Tell Her The Truth About Crossdressing … continued (by Brianna Austin) ~~~~~~

It has been said that doing the right thing is hard. But its not. Knowing the right thing is what's hard. But once you know what the right thing is, you'll find yourself compelled to do it. We did not choose to be trans, but we can choose how to deal with it in our lives. We can choose to tell those that we want to share our lives the truth, with love and honesty. She then has a right to feel however she feels about it, and we cannot and should not try to control that. She may be shocked, horrified, amused or a host of other things. But in the end, if with the truth you are accepted anyway, then you have a real relationship, based on who you are, and if not, you never did, and never will. As always, be happy, be safe, and think pretty. About the writer: Brianna Austin is co-author of "I'd Do It Again," a free lance writer, and publisher of TG Life, http://www.tglife.com/, a website by, for and about the transgender community.


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The following is a publication found on Gender Evolve. My thanks to Michele Angelique for her permission to use valuable TG information found on Gender Evolve. Please check Gender Evolve out at www.genderevolve.com

Men Who Wear Stilettos … and the Women Who Love Them (by Michele Angelique) ~~~~~~ All around us, every single day, progressive understanding is happening. Yet another example is this recent feature on the Women's Entertainment Network entitled "Married to Cross-dressers: Men Who Wear Stilettos - And the Women Who Love Them", which was a candid and openly supportive glimpse into the lives of several married couples. Here is the write up about the episode, along with the link to the website. ***** You love your husband, you adore your boyfriend– so you let him slide when he leaves the toilet seat up, forgets your birthday, or find out he's seen Star Wars 212 times. But what if he asked to borrow your favorite blouse, and maybe some of that new violet eyeshadow. Would you, could you, deal?

Lots of women do. There are thousands of heterosexual men - married or in committed relationships -- who routinely dress in women's clothing. It's estimated that at least 1% of the male population "cross-dresses." But even in this new millennium of nipple rings and ringtones, the idea of a heterosexual man wanting to dress in heels is still perceived as weird, even threatening. Cross-dressing is a subject that's been widely misunderstood, and it's just as confusing for the cross-dressers themselves - and the women who love them.


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Men Who Wear Stilettos … and the Women Who Love Them (continued) (by Michele Angelique) ~~~~~~ Misconceptions are rampant. For example, most people associate cross-dressing with effeminacy or homosexuality. But Dr. William Stayton, Head of the University of Pennsylvania's Department of Human Sexuality explains that most cross-dressers are "very definitely heterosexual. In fact one of the most difficult areas for cross-dressers is how to deal with the women with whom they wanted to be involved. "The truth is that, rather than shying away from women, most cross-dressers are as interested in marriage or being in a relationship as any man. "There is even some advantage to being a heterosexual cross-dresser," says Dr. Stayton. "When dressed they often become more sensitive and understanding to the women in their lives. Their wives tend to find them delightful and often it can become a real enhancement to marital relations." However that "enhancement" can only come if the woman feels comfortable with her husband's occasional dressing. In "SECRET LIVES OF WOMEN: WOMEN WHO MARRY CROSS DRESSERS," we get to know women who share their lives with transvestites. Women like Peggy Rudd, a 60-something grandmother who remembers the day her husband delivered a 42-page letter to her office one month after marrying "her soulmate." Her new husband's letter detailed the secret he couldn't bring himself to explain face-to-face. Seems her soulmate liked to wear ladies' clothes. Carreanne has also found that life with a cross-dresser has its challenges. Her boyfriend Joe uses his female persona, "Tori Lynn," most of the time, and it's raised a few hackles in the couple's small Midwestern town. "It's hard to get out of the house as Tori Lynn," she explains, "We've had some negative reaction at local bars."


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Men Who Wear Stilettos … and the Women Who Love Them (continued) (by Michele Angelique) ~~~~~~

But some women publicly embrace the lifestyle. Kelly, a mother and cosmetologist, owns a popular crossdressing boutique. The store offers wigs, clothes, prosthetics, undergarments -- and even rents lockers so men can secretly stash their female garb in a safe place. Perhaps most importantly, Kelly empathizes with her cross-dressing clientele since Kelly's husband, Jerry, is occasionally "Jeri." Kelly, Jerry and "Jeri" all live and work happily together with Kelly fully supporting her husband's love of female garb. In fact, about a year ago she tossed all of Jerry's boxers so even when he's not in full-on Jeri drag, Jerry can still wear panties every day. http://www.we.tv/uploads/SecretLives/episode_crossdressers.html


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This is a lovely TG group based in Chicago, Illinois. They are celebrating their 9th anniversary February 4th of this year! For more information, go to the group’s website at … http://www.islandgirlstg.com/ ISLAND GIRLS BEGINNING In late 1999, I attended several Southside Girls meetings at what was called "Players", a bar in Blue Island. We had an average of about 10 to 12 ladies at each meeting. If I can remember, some of the girls present were Carol, Lorraine, Melody, Tina, Crystal, Jenna, Janet, Danielle, and myself. In early 2000, the bar had a fire and was sold. No one knew how the new owners would react to the ladies. The group as it was known, Southside Girls, had died. I talked to a couple of the former members about starting again, but it wasn't until I met Bobbie Stone at a Chicago Gender Society (CGS) business meeting, we clicked and things started to roll.

At our first meeting of the new group, held in February, 2000, we had six ladies in attendance (shown in the above photo; they are [clockwise, from upper left]: Bobbie, Susan, Donna (me), Beth, Jenn, and Crystal). We had no name, no agenda -- well , some things never change!-- and no funds. We did, however, have a core of hard-working ladies with a dream. We decided to rename the group and "The Island Girls" were born. At the second meeting, Linda Scott joined and designed the logo. The founding ladies decided on a regular night (first Wednesday) and meeting time (9 p.m.). at The Edge in Blue Island. Those few ladies spread the word of the new group on the Southside, with a place to hang their jeans or dresses and kick up their heels. Since that time, we have had a meeting every month with an average of 40 ladies and admirers. At our sixth anniversary party, we had an all-time high of 110 ladies.


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Transgendered Conferences and Getaways Ok, you’re a TGirl and you want to go out as a girl and be part of the community. Here is a listing of some of the conferences and getaways available that are designed for TGirls! We take no responsibility regarding the places listed, but they are or have been known to be designed for and accepting of TGirls.

If you know of conferences/getaways that are TG-friendly, please let me know at [email protected] Thanks! •January:

First Event http://www.tcne.org

•January:

TGSF Cotillion/Annual Debutante Ball San Francisco, CA http://www.tgsy.org/events/cotillion.html

•February:

Colorado Gold Rush http://www.gicofcolo.org/cgr/

•April:

Transgender Philadelphia, PA http”//transeventsusa.org/ifge/index.shtml

•April:

California Dreamin http://www.california-dreamin.org/

San Jose, CA

•April:

Diva Las Vegas http://www.geekbabe.com/div/

Las Vegas, NV

•April:

Eureka En-Femme Getaway Eureka Springs, AK http://www.femmegetaway.com/index.html

•May:

Esprit http://www.espritconf.com/index.php

Port Angeles, WA

•May:

Be-All http://www.be-all.org/

Chicago, IL

•June:

Sparkle http://www.sparkle.org.uk/

Manchester, UK

•September: Southern Comfort Conference http://www.scatl.org/

Eastern , MA

Denver, CO

Atlanta, GA


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Transgendered Conferences and Getaways Ok, you’re a TGirl and you want to go out as a girl and be part of the community. Here is a listing of some of the conferences and getaways available that are designed for TGirls! We take no responsibility regarding the places listed, but they are or have been known to be designed for and accepting of TGirls.

If you know of conferences/getaways that are TG-friendly, please let me know at [email protected] Thanks! •October:

Defying Gravity Conference Louisville, KY http://www.transfamilydefyinggravity.net/programming.htm

•October:

Fantasia Fair http://www.fantasiafair.org

•October:

GLBTIQ Conference Worcester, MA http://www.transcendingboundaries.org/

Provincetown, MA

•November: Tri-Ess Holiday En-Femme http://geocities.com/tri_ess_ne/

Location Varies

•November: Lake Erie Gala http://www.eriesisters.org/

Erie, PA

•November: Fall Harvest http://fallharvest.net/

Omaha, NE


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Advertisements and Opportunities Want to advertise your TG-friendly store, service, club, group, or your own personal items here? There is NO charge for this … just email the editor [email protected] .

http://www.spellcosmetics.com/Home_Page.html

Elle


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EnFemme Boutique is a VERY CD and GLBT friendly Ebay store. Nan is the wife of a Transgendered person, and understands how difficult it can be for some to purchase items. She started this store for CD, TV, TS and TG’s that do not go shopping in public, need help with sizing, or finding certain items. It is a place where you can find items at reasonable prices and ask questions without worry. All listing are PRIVATE listings, so no one will see what you have purchased. Most are NEW With Tags and are 70 –90% OFF Retail Prices. This is Nan’s way of supporting her spouse Amy and the T-Community. http://stores.ebay.com/enfemme-boutique?refid=store


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We're a transgender (GLBT, TG) friendly boutique. Our store is located in Las Vegas, NV, USA, where Amy and her staff provide products and personalized services to help you become "The Person You Always Wanted To Be". The Just You Family have years of experience transforming men into beautiful women.

Amy: Amy was the manager of GB2 and is now the owner. She is a GG and a wonderful supporter of TG girls of all varieties. She has a wealth of experience with amateurs and professionals and is a tremendous talent with makeup. She is one those special angels sent to help us. I will ask her if she would like to write an article for a future magazine. Sheila: For my part I simply look after her website as the webmistress. Perhaps at some time I could also write an article (something I have done from time to time). I do want to say that you have done a wonderful job with the magazine and I look forward to reading the July issue.


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Welcome to crazydaizys

I carry a large selection of Sexy Shoes & Boots, Costume Footwear, Lingerie, Hosiery, Leather for Men & Women, & more! Your 1 stop shop for all your Favorite things!! I have Storewide FREE! combined Shipping! Save @ Crazy Daizys! Dont see what you are looking for? Contact me! I am still in the process of stocking my store. Thank you for your patience!

http://www.crazydaizys.com/servlet/StoreFront

http://dspace.dial.pipex.com/hide.sleek/hs_menu.htm Hide and Sleek

is a wonderful online shop with 2 physical store locations in Scotland as well. Owned and run by Loraine (a gg) and also sponsors the Miss TV Scotland pageant every year.


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http://Glamourboutique.com The Glamour Boutique is a terrific TG store. The original retail location is in Auburn, MA and now has a Las Vegas retail locations! You can also order online. Can’t say enough about this lovely store! A discount is available to Pretty TGirls members and to visitors of my personal website!

http://Crazy4clipons.com Crazy 4 Clipons is a terrific online place to discreetly buy clip on earrings at a very reasonable price. They have a large variety to choose from and love to have TG customers! A discount is available to Pretty TGirls members and to visitors of my personal website!

http://www.FemmeFever.com FemmeFever : Karen has developed a wonderful site and TG resource! Along with coordinating many TG events in the lower NY area, she has a store full of shopping opportunities online.


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Austin’s Angels … by Jamie Austin I can’t say enough really terrific things about Jamie. Simply put, he works wonders. Careful though, he has done such a wonderful job that several girls have seen how wonderfully beautiful they can be that they have become full time girls! Jamie offers several different makeover packages … well worth every penny girls !

http://www.austinsangels.com

http://www. countessascloset.com This is a fabulous place for GG’s and TGirls alike. Countessa is a GG, former model, and a terrific supporter of the Transgendered Community ! There is an online store and a physical location in Studio City, California. More to follow about this great Lady and her offerings.


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http://www.weaveofdreams.com

Weave of Dreams

is a terrific is a very new online TG store carrying many items for us TGirls.It is run by Carol Deanna. It is worth the visit !

AngelWings Designs by Mary Beth You really should checkout Mary Beth’s products. She hand sews everything and has lovely lingerie items and dresses, plus she is a doll and very supportive of us TGirls !

http://www.angelwingsdesigns.com


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