have made every effort to make brain science parent-friendly.” —Publishers
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“Fears? Fights? Frustrations? Help is here! Daniel Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson turn leading brain science into simple, smart—and effective—solutions to your child's struggles.” —Harvey Karp, M.D., bestselling author of The Happiest Baby on the Block and The Happiest Toddler on the Block “Siegel and Bryson reveal that an integrated brain with parts that cooperate in a coordinated and balanced manner creates a better understanding of self, stronger relationships, and success in school, among other benefits. With illustrations, charts, and even a handy ‘Refrigerator Sheet,’ the authors have made every effort to make brain science parent-friendly.” —Publishers Weekly
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THE WHOLE-BRAIN CHILD 12 Revolutionary Strategies to Nurture Your Child’s Developing Mind
Daniel J. Siegel, M.D. and Tina Payne Bryson, Ph.D. Your toddler throws a tantrum in the middle of a store. Your preschooler refuses to get dressed. Your fifth-grader sulks on the bench instead of playing on the field. Do children conspire to make their parents’ lives endlessly challenging? No—it’s just their developing brain calling the shots! In this pioneering, practical book, Daniel J. Siegel, neuropsychiatrist and author of the bestselling Mindsight, and parenting expert Tina Payne Bryson demystify the meltdowns and aggravation, explaining the new science of how a child’s brain is wired and how it matures. The “upstairs brain,” which makes decisions and balances emotions, is under construction until the mid-twenties. And especially in young children, the right brain and its emotions tend to rule over the logic of the left brain. No wonder kids can seem—and feel—so out of control. By applying these discoveries to everyday parenting, you can turn any outburst, argument, or fear into a chance to integrate your child’s brain and foster vital growth. Raise calmer, happier children using twelve key strategies, including: •
• • • • •
Name It to Tame It: Corral raging right-brain behavior through left-brain storytelling, appealing to the left brain’s affinity for words and reasoning to calm emotional storms and bodily tension. Engage, Don’t Enrage: Keep your child thinking and listening, instead of purely reacting. Move It or Lose It: Use physical activities to shift your child’s emotional state. Let the Clouds of Emotion Roll By: Guide your children when they are stuck on a negative emotion, and help them understand that feelings come and go. SIFT: Help children pay attention to the Sensations, Images, Feelings, and Thoughts within them so that they can make better decisions and be more flexible. Connect Through Conflict: Use discord to encourage empathy and greater social success.
Complete with clear explanations, age-appropriate strategies for dealing with day-to-day struggles, and illustrations that will help you explain these concepts to your child, The Whole-Brain Child shows you how to cultivate healthy emotional and intellectual development so that your children can lead balanced, meaningful, and connected lives. THE WHOLE-BRAIN CHILD: 12 Revolutionary Strategies to Nurture Your Child’s Developing Mind Daniel J. Siegel, M.D. and Tina Payne Bryson, Ph.D. Delacorte Press Trade Paperback; September 11, 2012; ISBN: 978-0-553-38669-1; $15.00; Pages: 192
REFRIGERATOR SHEET THE WHOLE-BRAIN CHILD by Daniel J. Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson INTEGRATING THE LEFT AND RIGHT BRAIN Left + right = clarity and understanding: Help your kids use both the logical left brain and the emotional right brain as a team. What you can do: • Connect and redirect: When your child is upset, connect first emotionally, right brain to right brain. Then, once your child is more in control and receptive, bring in the left- brain lessons and discipline. • Name it to tame it: When big, right- brain emotions are raging out of control, help your kids tell the story about what’s upsetting them, so their left brain can help make sense of their experience and they can feel more in control.
INTEGRATING THE UPSTAIRS BRAIN AND THE DOWNSTAIRS BRAIN Develop the upstairs brain: Watch for ways to help build the sophisticated upstairs brain, which is “under construction” during childhood and adolescence and can be “hijacked” by the downstairs brain, especially in high- emotion situations. What you can do: • Engage, don’t enrage: In high- stress situations, engage your child’s upstairs brain, rather than triggering the downstairs brain. Don’t immediately play the “Because I said so!” card. Instead, ask questions, request alternatives, even negotiate. • Use it or lose it: Provide lots of opportunities to exercise the upstairs brain. Play “What would you do?” games, and avoid rescuing kids from difficult decisions. • Move it or lose it: When a child has lost touch with his upstairs brain, help him regain balance by having him move his body.
INTEGRATING MEMORY Make the implicit explicit: Help your kids make their implicit memories explicit, so that past experiences don’t affect them in debilitating ways. What you can do: • Use the remote of the mind: When a child is reluctant to narrate a painful event, the internal remote lets her pause, rewind, and fast- forward a story as she tells it, so she can maintain control over how much of it she views. • Remember to remember: Help your kids exercise their memory by giving them lots of practice at recalling important events: in the car, at the dinner table, wherever.
INTEGRATING THE MANY PARTS OF MYSELF The wheel of awareness: When your kids get stuck on one particular point on the rim of their wheel of awareness, help them choose where they focus their attention so they can gain more control over how they feel. What you can do: • Let the clouds of emotion roll by: Remind kids that feelings come and go; they are temporary states, not enduring traits. • SIFT: Help your children pay attention to the Sensations, Images, Feelings, and Thoughts within them. • Exercise mindsight: Mindsight practices teach children to calm themselves and focus their attention where they want.
INTEGRATING SELF AND OTHER Wired for “we”: Watch for ways to capitalize on the brain’s built- in capacity for social interaction. Create positive mental models of relationships. What you can do: • Enjoy each other: Build fun into the family, so that your kids enjoy positive and satisfying experiences with the people they’re with the most. • Connect through conflict: Instead of an obstacle to avoid, view conflict as an opportunity to teach your kids essential relationship skills, like seeing other people’s perspectives, reading nonverbal cues, and making amends.
