Vietnamese-Australian grandparenthood: The changing roles and ...

Journal of Cross-Cultural Gerontology 15: 265–288, 2000. © 2000 Kluwer Academic Publishers. Printed in the Netherlands.

265

Vietnamese-Australian grandparenthood: The changing roles and psychological well-being JAMES VO-THANH-XUAN & PRANEE LIAMPUTTONG RICE La Trobe University, Bundoora, Victoria, Australia Abstract. This study attempts to understand the Vietnamese-Australian grandparenthood and their changing roles and psychological well-being. Using a qualitative approach, thirty-six grandparents participated in four focus group interviews. The findings reveal that Vietnamese grandparents play many important roles such as those of living ancestor, family historian, role model, teacher, mentor, nurturer, crony and mediator although at a reasonably modest level. Through assisting the parents, it creates a vital bridge between grandparents and grandchildren. Grandparents’ most important roles are the maintenance of good emotional relationships and support, and the construction of harmony and continuity in their modified extended families. To be able to assume these roles grandparents need to actively explore and accept new values and to adapt values to new cultural context. A successful grandparenthood brings happiness to the family and this in turn positively influences grandparents’ life satisfaction and psychological well-being and enhances their quality of life. Keywords: Australia, Grandparenthood, Psychological well-being, Role changes, Vietnamese immigrants

Introduction The Communists’ invasion of South Vietnam in April 1975 caused an outflow of more than one million Vietnam who escaped from Vietnam in search of freedom around the world. The war in Vietnam was ended abruptly, the sad saga of the boat people had begun (Viviani 1996). According to the 1996 Census (Australian Bureau of Statistics 1997), there are 151,053 Vietnamborn people in Australia including 11,032 Vietnamese aged people over 60. The Vietnamese aged, therefore, form an important proportion in Australia. The older Vietnamese arrived in Australia at different times and for different reasons almost exclusively as refugees or family reunion migrants (Australian Institutes of Multicultural Affairs 1985; Viviani 1996; M. Thomas 1999). After arriving in Australia, they encountered difficulties in the settlement, adaptation and integration and integration into Australian society. Boman & Edwards (1984), Vignes & Hall (1984) and M. Thomas (1999) report that loss of professional identity, loss in social status, serious economic

266

JAMES VO-THANH-XUAN & PRANEE LIAMPUTTONG RICE

setbacks and unfulfilled expectations put the elderly immigrants at risk of poor mental health, caused major problems and high rates of depression. As Holmes & Holmes (1995) argue that loneliness and isolation have often been associated with ageing regardless of social and cultural background, the most serious problem that Vietnamese elderly have had to deal with is social isolation (M. Thomas 1999, T. Thomas 1999a, b). Tran (1990) confirmed that they encountered great difficulty in the acquisition of the English language, so that they cannot function normally in the new society. Due to their lack of ability to learn or speak English, they avoid contact with English speaking Australians, do not interact with their non-Vietnamese neighbours, have problems with public transportation, can not participate in social activities of local clubs or churches, and under-utilise available health services (Die & Seelbach 1988; Holton 1990; Williams & Berry 1991; Thomas & Balnaves 1993; Detzner 1996; T. Thomas 1999a, b). As social isolation is one of the greatest sources of stress and an insuperable difficulty to elderly Vietnamese immigrants, they rely more on their families (T. Thomas 1999). To cope with the social isolation, they expect their family to be a social-psychological support device, using mainly an emotionfocused coping strategy (Thomas & Balnaves 1993). There is, however, increasing recognition that changes in family structures, industrialisation and increased family mobility, rates of divorce, acculturation, pressure on both parents to work, and the type of accommodation (Brewer 1985; Schulz et al. 1991; Detzner 1996; M. Thomas 1999; T. Thomas 1999a, b), also cause gradual erosion of the Vietnamese traditional family network and weaken the sense of filial responsibility in families, thus undermining their traditional patterns of family care, and deepening their intergenerational relationship conflicts. These situations have caused a negative influence on their emotional well-being and quality of life (Thomas & Balnaves 1993; T. Thomas 1999a, b). Grandparenthood in the family life cycle has a positive connection to grandparents’ morale (Ferris & Bramston 1994; Pruchno & Johnson 1996; Perterson 1999; Vo-Thanh-Xuan 1999; William et al. 1999). Kivnick (1981, 1982a, b) argued that, if stress is detrimental to the well-being of the ageing, grandparenthood is a psychological resource making a contribution to the mental health of grandparents. Frequent contact with grandchildren in person, by telephone, and/or by letter is particularly important to them. They derive enormous satisfaction and self-esteem from feeling appreciated by the children and grandchildren. On the other hand, the loss of grandparentgrandchild relationship is recognised as a contributor to ongoing unhappiness and bitterness. Being a grandparent is the major sources of pleasure and satis-

VIETNAMESE-AUSTRALIAN GRANDPARENTHOOD

267

faction for older people (Stinnett et al. 1984; Peterson 1999; Vo-Thanh-Xuan 1999). Tran (1987) argued that during the 1980s, many studies focused on the Vietnamese refugee’s psychological problems and there was a lack of attention concerning their psychological well-being. There is a need to learn about the powerful and multifaceted grandparent role, which creates the ‘vital connection’ (Kornhaber & Forsyth 1994: 2) between grandparents and grandchildren, and to develop understandings which help to maintain and strengthen this connection among grandparents, parents and children in today’s times. The main aim of this paper, is therefore, to understand the changing roles that the Vietnamese grandparents could play in the family and how best they could fulfil these roles and the impact of these changes on their psychological well-being.

Methodology The participants In the State of Victoria, where this study was conducted, there are 55,141 Vietnamese-born people (Australian Bureau of Statistics 1997). The participants in this study were purposively selected from Vietnamese grandparents who where members of Vietnamese Senior Citizens Associations in Melbourne, which have about 846 members in the year that this study was conducted (1998–1999). The participants were selected to ensure that they would represent the phenomenon of grandparenthood and its changing roles in a new context. However, we also tried to ensure that the resulting sample would include a cross-section of people from various social and educational backgrounds, and a mixture of maternal and paternal grandfathers and grandmothers. The participants included 36 grandparents separated into 4 focus groups. The participants in these focus group interviews were between the ages of 55 and 84. Of the participants 12% were in their 50’s, 60% in their 60’s, and 28% in their 70’s. The total number of their grandchildren was 245 which included 139 boys and 106 girls between the ages of 1 to 6 years. Only one female participant, 84 years old, had adult grandchildren. Of the participants, 63.90% lived with their grandchildren. The earliest arrival in Australia was in 1980, and the latest in 1994. The demographic characteristics of Vietnamese grandparents in this study are presented in Table 1.

268


Table 1. Characteristics of Vietnamese grandparents in the study (N = 36) Characteristics Age

Sex Religion

Marital status Education

Status and year of arrival Living arrangements

50–59 60-69 70+ Female Male Buddhists Catholics Protestants Ancestor worshippers Widow Married couple No education Primary level Secondary level Tertiary level As refugees in 80’s As immigrants in 90’s Live with children and grandchildren Live apart from children and grandchildren

N

Percentage

4 21 11 22 14 13 21 1 1 7 29 2 15 17 2 14 22 23 13

12 60 28 61 39 36 58 3 3 20 80 6 41 47 6 38 62 64 36

Method The primary means of collecting qualitative data in this study was the focus group interviewing approach. The method has been successfully used with ageing respondents in cross-cultural perspective (e.g. Knodel 1995; Mehta et al. 1995; Kaufman 1996; Williams et al. 1999) and with ageing immigrants in Western countries (e.g. Saint-Germain et al. 1993; Tessaro et al. 1994; Quine 1999). This method is useful in exploring and examining what people think, how they think, and why they think the way they do about the issues of importance to them, but does not push them into making decisions or reaching a consensus (Morgan 1997; Kitzinger 1995; Rice & Ezzy 1999). The method, however, cannot inform a researcher what the participants actually do. The process of the interviews took place at their Associations Centre and continued spirally to the fourth group where saturation level had been reached, i.e. where no additional new or relevant data could be found (Minichiello et al. 1995; Rice & Ezzy 1999).


269

The first author acted as a moderator in all focus groups. Each focus group interview was guided by a set of prepared questions such as traditional experiences as grandparent in Vietnam, perception on the changing role of the grandparent in the new environment, influence with family, agreement/disagreement between parents and grandparents, problems arising from living, communication with grandchildren, link with other family members, and grandparents’ suggestions to have a better relationship with children and grandchildren. The interviews were conducted, note-taken, taped, transcribed, coded and filed in Vietnamese. To overcome study difficulties relating to research with older non-English-speaking background groups, data were collected and analysed by the first author who is a mature Vietnamese. Using Vietnamese in all stages of data collection and analysis allowed him total freedom in facilitating the focus groups’ conversations. In response, Vietnamese elderly participants felt free and comfortable in expressing their feelings and illustrating their experience. These expressions would tend to lose their nuances if they were translated into English to be analysed. Translation into English was only carried out for the writing of the report and for presenting verbatim quotations (Thomas & Balnaves 1993; Rice & Naksook 1998). Care was taken to ensure that the translation of Vietnamese language into English was as accurate as possible by the first author. The interview data were analyzed through a process of identifying common themes based on participants’ expressions, known as a thematic analysis approach (Minichiello et al. 1995; Rice & Ezzy 1999).

Findings Demographic changes leading to family structural changes In many cases, those who resettled in Australia were separated from their family members who often resettled in different countries, or in different states within a country. Even for those who resettled in the same states, many lived a fair distance apart. In addition to geographical distances, the western ‘nuclear’ family structure further distanced Vietnamese families which had settled in Australia. The traditional extended family structure of the Vietnamese people, in which family members live under one roof or very closely in the same village, was and still is severely disturbed. These changes contribute to a breakdown of traditional values deeply rooted in Confucian teachings. Parents and grandparents no longer have the highest accorded powers in the family. The respectful and obedient behaviour of children towards the elderly, which exists within the Confucian social framework, is

270


gradually being replaced with concepts of individual freedom and duty. The following are some of the statements stated during the focus group interviews: In Vietnam, grandparents have a very strong say in the family, however, over here children live on their own thus lessening their respect for the elderly. (male, 67 yo, Catholic, living apart) New life in Australia is very troublesome, unlike what was expected. (male, 70 yo, Buddhist, living together) Young Vietnamese people are able to adapt quickly to a western society, whereas the elderly find it much harder because of their strongly established traditional background. This leads to intergenerational conflicts within Vietnamese families in Australia. These conflicts are evidently less severe where parents left Vietnam together with their children, giving them the time and opportunity to gradually adapt to the new society along with their children. In cases where the parents arrived in Australia many years after their children, the conflicts are much more severe, often leading to family structure breakdowns. This can be attributed to the parents tending to hold on tightly to their traditional values, whereas the children have adjusted to the changed circumstances and conditions. One observed comment clearly illustrates the impact on the grandparents. Over here, everything is turned up side down in family life. (male, 67 yo, Buddhist, living apart)

Grandparent roles Findings of this section will be presented in the following themes: grandparent as living ancestor and family historian; grandparent as role model; grandparent as teacher and mentor; grandparents as student; grandparent as nurturer; grandparent as giver of unconditional love; grandparent as crony and mediator. Grandparent as living ancestor and family historian When they were in Vietnam, grandchildren could learn about family history from their grandparents and their grandparents’ siblings. Now as their grandparents’ siblings live afar, grandparents become the only link with the family past. Grandparents are important family historians for grandchildren. They appreciate and want to pass on family histories and lessons which they


271

consider worthwhile for the grandchildren. A number of grandparents have kept and updated family registers for their young. They take every opportunity to tell family stories to their grandchildren. On Death Anniversaries, Tet (New Year Celebrations), they prepare feasts including favourite food, and invite their children and grandchildren over to eat and talk about Vietnamese traditions and customs and past family stories. For Death Anniversaries, the occasion is kept simple so as not to bore their grandchildren. We hold Death Anniversary and call them over to eat so that they will later follow this tradition. We need to show them that we respect our grandparents so that they will in turn respect their grandparents. (female, 66 yo, Buddhist, living apart) I often show them the family register book and tell them stories about my grandparents. (female, 60 yo, Buddhist, living together) Grandparents play an important role of passing on family history. The lovefilled presence of grandparents provide precious lessons to grandchildren connecting them with their ancestry. Grandparent as role model Grandparents are not only chroniclers of the family, but also living members amongst their grandchildren. It is for this reason that they become models for the grandchildren. They are models in various aspects, the most important of which is the model of love. Grandparents show their love for the grandchildren and for their parents, taking care of their misgivings and patiently dealing with family difficulties. Even when grandparents do not have anything to do, their presence is significant. To teach the grandchildren, one needs to be the good example. (female, 84 yo, Catholic, living together) The grandparents’ model of a positive lifestyle helps grandchildren understand how old age should be lived. Even in old age, grandparents can still be active, doing what they can for the grandchildren, taking them to school, cooking, washing, gardening, playing with them and telling them stories. The closer and more lively the bond between grandparents and grandchildren, the lesser the negative stereotyping of ageing is impressed on the grandchildren. Grandparents are also models of family unity. In families where siblings of parents live far from each other as in the nuclear family structure, grandparents do organise family meals and get-togethers so that relatives can form closer bonds and for the grandchildren to learn more about love in the family.

272


When we first arrived, my children used to eat at different times. I reorganised dinner timing, in which my wife would prepare dinner and everyone would wait to sit down for dinner together. (male, 67 yo, Catholic, living apart) As the children got married and moved out, I ask one of them in turn to prepare dinner on Saturday or Sunday, and we all gather together and have an enjoyable time. (female, 70 yo, Buddhist, living apart) It is obvious that when grandchildren see their parents and grandparents living in harmony and happiness, they develop a positive image about parenthood and grandparenthood. Right from the beginning, grandparents need to nurture their relationship with the parents, in order to set a good example for the grandchildren. Grandparent as teacher and mentor Grandparents tend to have an inferiority complex due to a perception that their knowledge and wisdom is regarded as old fashioned. However, they acknowledge that they have a life time of experiences which can be taught to grandchildren if they can find a way to do this. Grandparents can teach the grandchildren to have respect for others and to love their parents. In order to be able to teach grandchildren, it is their belief that they need to soften their traditional image of utmost respect, in order to participate in the lives and activities of their grandchildren. In teaching grandchildren about their own life experience, grandparents need to do so in such a manner that the grandchildren do not feel they are being lectured. Grandparents need to teach their grandchildren, not in a framework of lessons and programs, but in love. If they make mistakes, tell them of the mistakes and be ready to forgive instead of holding onto anger. If we love them, they love us. (female, 63 yo, Buddhist, living together) Over here children live an open and relatively independent life. If we are too hard and strict, and over discipline them, it will be like blocking a flowing current, which only leads to breakdown. (male, 67 yo, Catholic, living together) Grandparents can teach their grandchildren to cook their favorite Vietnamese dishes. If grandchildren are too young to cook, grandparents can teach the skills to the parents, thus indirectly influencing the grandchildren. Mum! I don’t know why I can’t cook Quang’s noodles and fish the way you do. The children always complain about that. Please teach me how


273

to do it. I cook by using recipe books, you do it by experience. (female, 67 yo, Buddhist, living apart) There are parents who do not want the grandparents to teach or influence their children because they think the teachings are too old-fashioned and unsuitable. However, family stories, cooking recipes and family memories are valuable lessons for grandchildren. Nevertheless, grandparents usually feel that their knowledge is old fashioned and unsuitable for their grandchildren living in this technological world. In addition, grandchildren spend most of their time in schools learning from a cast of teachers. Teachers at school are their idols whom they listen to and copy. At home, parents have the task of making practical decisions about the child’s day-to-day life. In this matter, grandparents do not have a role. However, they can help by encouraging their grandchildren to do what their teachers and parents ask them to do. My grandchild said: “You don’t know much about my careers to have a say on my future development!” to which I then replied: “True, I don’t know, but I attended the parent-teacher meeting for your mother and I simply repeated what your teacher said.” (female, 70 yo, Catholic, living together). Grandparents can help by taking care of their grandchildren’s health to maximise their performance at school. When I see that my grandchild stays up late to study, I’m concerned that he might be tired, so I make a glass of milk and egg yolk with sugar or fresh lemonade for him. (female, 84 yo, Catholic, living together)

Grandparent as student The relationship between grandparents and grandchildren is not only one way, grandchildren learning from their grandparents, but rather it can be instructive to grandparents too. From the agricultural society in Vietnam, grandparents are suddenly introduced to an industrialised, well-developed society. There are many things for them to learn. In addition, living in an English speaking country without good English, grandparents need help from English speaking people, including their grandchildren. Living close to their grandparents, grandchildren can teach them a lot of common sense subject to their own capacity or capability. Hearing on the radio about gas restrictions, he told me to turn off the gas, or else I could have been fined 500 dollars. (female, 56 yo, Buddhist, living together)

274


Life-span development of grandchildren is a learning experience for grandparents. Grandparents pay much more attention to how their grandchildren grow up, something they would do to a lesser extent back in Vietnam. Upon entering kindergarten, the children are taught in a way which encourages them to grow naturally and confidently, which is very different form the present Vietnam experience and especially compared to the old times where children had to be apprehensive, restrained and obedient. (male, 64 yo, Buddhist, living together) Grandparent as nurturer Young children growing up in Australia learn a great deal. However, this does not necessarily mean they are wise and grown-up. Although grandparents may have a lot to learn from their grandchildren, they need to show that their grandchildren also need to be nurtured and educated by adults, including parents and grandparents. When they fall ill, I am always there for them. (female, 58 yo, Buddhist, living apart) I took care of my grandchild from the time they were a few months old to the age of five. (female, 67 yo, Catholic, living together) Grandparents pass on values and beliefs to the grandchildren for the benefit of their future life in the new complicated society. They introduce the traditional Vietnamese values which can still be appropriate for this modern society. Our celebration of the Tet (Vietnamese New Year) helps them see our good customs. (male, 67 yo, Buddhist, living apart) I visit the grandchildren often, telling them folk stories, stories about their parents’ lives, so that they can understand more about life. (female, 74 yo, Buddhist, living apart) Grandparents also pass on their religious beliefs to their grandchildren. I teach my grandchildren to say grace before dinner. (female, 67 yo, Catholic, living together). I take the grandchildren to the temple so that they can get used to it. (female, 55 yo, Buddhist, living together) Grandparents supplement the parents’ work of nurturing and caring for the grandchildren, especially when the parents are away at work, or during busy periods, or when there are relationship problems between the parents.


275

The grandchildren need us a lot, especially when their parents are too busy. (male, 70 yo, Buddhist, living apart) However, grandparents believe that they need to understand that they can only be a support to the parents in bringing up the grandchildren. They express that they need to operate within a reasonable manner without over-controlling or interfering. The main thing is to educate one’s own children so that they in turn educate their own children. (male, 67 yo, Buddhist, living apart) After all, parents are the primary educators. (female, 55 yo, Buddhist, living together)

Grandparent as giver of unconditional love Grandparents’ unconditional love for children and grandchildren stems from their biological and emotional urges. However, the new social environment has put a lot of restrictions on the expression of this unconditional love. When they departed from Vietnam to reunite with their children, grandparents left Vietnam empty-handed. During the early period after reunion with their children, grandparents had to depend on their children because they had not at that stage received any social security benefits. Only after a fixed period of time did they start to receive benefits and these were only enough to cover their basic needs. Thus they are unable to spend money on their grandchildren, by taking them shopping and granting their wishes. Most grandparents express their love by visiting their grandchildren, babysitting when the parents need assistance, cooking their favorite foods, and being patient with them. My husband usually asks me why I take the trouble to cook for them so often. I say that we can’t give them much more and I’m happy when I see them enjoy the foods. (female, 68 yo, Buddhist, living apart) I try to be appropriately forgiving to avoid being too harsh on them when they do something wrong. (male, 62 yo, Buddhist, living together) We should avoid highlighting their faults. It’s important to show our love to them. (female, 84 yo, Catholic, living together) Grandparents need to be open, sympathetic and constructive in a soft way. (female, 57 yo, Catholic, living together)

276


Grandparent as crony and mediator Grandparents can be close friends to their grandchildren. They can adapt themselves to this modern society by learning not to expect the level of respect given to grandparents in Vietnam from their grandchildren. Not being bound by concepts of duty and discipline as expected from parents and teachers, grandparents find it easier to be tolerant towards their grandchildren. By being readily accepting, grandparents can easily get close to the grandchildren and vice versa. One day when I took my grandchild home after school and he said to me: “I’ll carry you on my back from school to the milk bar and you carry me home from the milk bar.” When I told the story to his father, he raised his voice to his son for being disrespectful. I told my son: “No, please this is our family’s happiness. The child dares to say that because he loves me.” (male, 67 yo, Catholic, living apart) If we love the children, they love you back. I enjoy them flocking around me when I come home. They are close to me because I don’t shout at them. (female, 63 yo, Buddhist, living together) Even though grandparents do not have power over the parents, they can often act as mediators helping to resolve conflicts between parents and grandchildren. Grandparents become an important emotional safety valve or sanctuary for teenagers feuding with their parents. My grandson is 15. He used to go out a lot. His father often brought him back home and beat him. He left home to use drugs. I told my son not to beat him any more, but let him come home instead. Now he’s back home and working in the farm with his father. (female, 63 yo, Buddhist, living together) In summary, although they recognise that there are many difficulties and limitations that grandparents have to deal with in this modern society, they can certainly still play various roles to maintain and develop strong ties with their grandchildren by being willing to adapt their old values for new ones. Parents need to cooperate with grandparents and vice versa so that grandparents can help their grandchildren and thus fulfil their roles as grandparents. Grandparents can help grandchildren in various ways if there is cooperation and harmony in communication between grandparents and parents. Vietnamese traditions can be maintained. (male, 70 yo, Buddhist, living apart)


277

These are positive views and thoughts that were discussed by participants in the focus group interviews. There are also negative views and thoughts in relation to this matter. However, participants tended to be reserved when raising them for fear of bad publicity. There is no way that I can raise everything with you in relation to this matter. The good things that I told you probably accounted for 80% of the truth. There are bad things that I do not want to raise up fully here. (male, 69 yo, Buddhist, living together)

Discussion Due to a qualitative approach of this study, the sample size is not necessarily representative of Vietnamese grandparents living in Australia, and hence, the results generated from focus groups cannot be generalised across the Vietnamese population. The study, however, contributes to the limited community-based material available on the grandparenthood of the Vietnamese elderly in Australia and elsewhere. This study has identified the grandparenting roles played by the Vietnamese elderly in their new environment in Australia. The results contribute knowledge about grandparent-grandchild relationships relative to existing theories within the four views of grandparenthood. Grandparenthood viewed as a social role Kahana & Kahana (1971), Fisher (1982), Kornhaber (1996) and Peterson (1999) viewed grandparenthood as a social role involving a societal relationship between family members, grandparents, parents and grandchildren. The findings of this study support this position. Grandparents often gather their children and grandchildren at their house for family meals when there are special occasions such as Death anniversaries, Tet (Vietnamese New Year), and Australian public holidays. Some grandparents prepare meals for their extended family every weekend or every second weekend. These are precious moments for all members of three generations in the extended family to sit down together and interact with each other. Not only that grandparents try to build a strong bond between all members within their modified extended family in Australia, but also make efforts to establish a strong bond between their young and their ancestors, and between their young and other relatives who are still in Vietnam or elsewhere. Grandparents play a role in maintaining the social continuity of the family. Many grandparents keep and update their family register in order to construct a continuity of their family. Through the

278


family register and mouth-to-mouth stories within the family, grandparents enrich themselves with many stories about their family history. Grandparents, as the only living ancestors and family historians, can link these young relatives with their ancestors, their family history, and culture. Grandparenthood viewed as a group process within the family Hagestad (1985), Matthews & Sprey (1985), Kornhaber (1996) and Pruchno & Johanson (1999) viewed grandparenthood as a group process within the family involving relationships and interdependencies between three or four generations of a family. Through emotions parents and grandparents are relating and interacting. Emotional attachments and closeness, therefore, are the cement of their connections, their relationships, leading to interdependence between them. However, interdependence across generations may become a source of conflict among members of families if there is a lack of separateness in their relationships. Because in the new environment, there is a paradox. On the one hand, parents strive for psychologically autonomy and self-reliance, and on the other hand, dependence across the generations is the most usual characteristic mode of intergenerational relations. In the nuclear structural family, parents become independent of the family of origin, and are free to choose whether or not to keep up the binding emotional family ties. The relationships between generations therefore are no longer necessary, but contingent. Thus, grandparents can only construct the best relationship with parents by knowing how to proceed in a way parents will approve. It means that grandparents must be willing to provide assistance and emotional support while recognising the needs of parents for autonomy and independence. The harmony of their relationships, therefore, depends on the balance that parents and grandparents have achieved between autonomy from and dependence on each other. Most participants agree that they need to change their way of thinking and their way of life to be able to keep a good relationship with their children. They need to make efforts to learn through newspapers, radio and group discussions so that they can better understand the changing and new needs of their children. They should no longer require their children to show absolute respect towards them as was once expected by Vietnamese traditional morality. They need to accept and respect their children’s freedom and decisions. With unconditional love as the basis, they, on one side, must be willing to forgive their children for their mistakes often turn a blind eye to their children’s faults, whilst on the other side, they should be quite happy to do exactly what their children ask of them. In this new society, grandparents can only pass their values and beliefs directly down to their children, the parents and therefore can only act


279

indirectly as a “role model” for their grandchildren. Sometimes, they need to refrain from doing so because their values differ greatly from those of the parents. They believe they need to accept the absolute power their children as parents have over the education of the grandchildren. All they can do is assist the parents in any way they can so that the parents can, then in turn, educate their children accordingly. Tinsley & Parke (1984), and Werner (1984) considered grandparenthood as a transaction between grandchild and grandparent involving reciprocity and mutual influence. Influence can be direct or indirect (Kornhaber 1996). By direct influence, grandparents can directly influence a grandchild through face-to-face interaction. By indirect influence, grandparents may influence parents by altering their own behaviour, which, in turn, may alter the behaviour of the grandchildren. Grandparents can indirectly affect their grandchildren by the frequency and form of support that they provide to grandchildren’ parents. In addition, the influence process in the grandparentparent-grandchild and grandparent-grandchild relationships is bi-directional; this means that the influence is reciprocal and mutually flowing in both directions. This study has found that there existed a significant involvement by grandparents with their grandchildren (almost all were infants and young children). Grandparents are found to be able to directly influence their grandchildren by serving as role models, caregivers or nurturers, playmates or cronies, mentors, negotiators. In their role models (Kornhaber 1996), they show their unconditional love for the grandchildren and parents, taking care of their misgivings, patiently dealing with family difficulties. They are models of a positive, hard working, and active life in old age: taking grandchildren to the school, doing the cooking, washing, gardening, playing with grandchildren. Above all, they are models of family harmony, unity and happiness in gathering the family members together. Thus, they serve as role models for aging by rectifying inappropriate stereotypes for the aged migrants. However, they sometimes must refrain from passing on information and values directly to grandchildren if these values differ greatly from those of the parents. Grandparents can influence their grandchildren in their role as mentor (Kornhaber 1996). Although they recognise that their wisdom and experience may be too old fashioned for their grandchildren living in this industrialized society, they can still pass on to them values of a good citizenship in a country, a good pupil in a school. They can help grandchildren to cope with the difficulties they may encounter in their studies. They can also assist their grandchildren by taking care of them and their health to maximise their

280


performance at school. They can be a good example for their grandchildren on the practice of their religious belief in this materialistic world. Grandparents tend to suffer from an inferiority complex due to their knowledge being regarded as incompatible with a technological world. However, although they may not be able to help grandchildren in their schoolwork, they can still be influential by encouraging them to do well at school and at work. They can help them in their non- academic training too. They can provide guidance about moral conduct and ethical behaviour which are important for every generation. They can teach them ways to handle or avoid arguments and to develop positive relationships with peers and teachers. They can discourage them from every form of aggression. They can teach them the Vietnamese language, Vietnamese folk song, old legends and fairy stories to keep them in contact with Vietnamese culture. Grandparents are generally characterized as playmates or cronies (Kornhaber 1996) who play with their grandchildren for enjoyment, without concern about authority or discipline. By this close contact and emotional satisfaction, grandparents can be a source of emotional support, acting as direct negotiators or buffers between parent and child when they are in conflict with each other and this in turn can improve parent-child relationships. In contrast to the Tinsley & Parke’s (1984) study which showed that the nurturer and caregiver role may be on the wane partly due to the use of institutions for child care, the findings of this study illustrate that the most frequent help extended by grandparents is nurturing and caregiving. In many cases, Vietnamese parents often have to work very hard in order to support their family. Generally grandparents can not financially help the parents because they have no assets or money other than the limited social benefits they periodically receive from the government. The only real way that the grandparents can help the parents is to offer care for the grandchildren while the parents are at work so that the parents can save kindergarten fees. Many grandparents assume the role of taking their grandchildren to and from school every day. They take care of their grandchildren’s meals and even prepare evening meals for the parents which they would have been required to prepare after work. When the parents are too busy at work the grandparents may also bathe their grandchildren, encourage them to study, put them to bed and many other such things where needed. Although grandparents can not provide financial support for parents and grandchildren, their small giftgiving, traditional dishes, telephone calls, visits and affection are important ways of creating the preferred close relationships. Grandparents play their role of family historians in transmitting across generations values, ethnic heritage and family traditions. This role has


281

been referred to as ‘keepers of community’ (Barusch & Steen 1996), and as ‘cultural custodian’ (Weibel-Orlando 1990). In many cases, as the grandchildren are too small for this level of information the grandparents directly pass it down to the parents and thus indirectly to their grandchildren. Moreover, grandparents relate to grandchildren details and experiences of their own parent’s childhood. In this way, they have a direct influence on how grandchildren view their parents, and therefore indirectly improve parent-grandchild relationships. Finally, the predominant type of direct and indirect influence on grandchildren is the grandparents’ emotional support conditioned and nourished by their unconditional love. Their emotional support determines the frequency of contact with grandchildren. Their emotional support is needed, and is important to parents who influence the relationship between grandparents and grandchildren, because they have their mediating role and possess the potential to facilitate and enhance positive and meaningful relationships between parents and grandchildren. Emotional attachments between grandparents and grandchildren alleviate the intense emotional environment of the isolated nuclear family. When grandparents and grandchildren have intense emotional relationships with the parents, they are happy being together, at ease with each other. This emotional attachment is the most basic and purest form of human love which creates happiness for the family members of the related generations. Reciprocally, the vital connection between grandparent-parent-grandchild is not only for the benefit of grandchildren, but also for the general psychological well-being of the grandparents. Often a close tie to grandchildren may be sufficient to make grandparents feel satisfied with their role. It can create a happiness which contributes significantly to the health and well-being of grandparents. Some participants and informants in this study whose grandparent-grandchild relationships are not close or are detached express an ongoing unhappiness and bitterness. These participants express the view that they do not want to rely on their children and grandchildren for economic security, but that they wish to be repaid by them in sentimental currency: love and affection. Grandparenthood viewed as a reflective symbol Grandparenthood may also be considered as a symbol (Kornhaber 1996). In addition to the above real functions observable in grandparents’ behaviour, there are symbolic functions of grandparenthood. Kornhaber & Forsyth (1994) reported that, based on a theory called ‘symbolic interactionism’, the meanings attached to grandparenthood are derived from the process of symbolic interaction: grandparental roles provide a ‘looking glass reflection’ which defines who grandparents are and form meanings of what grandparent-

282


hood is. In other words, grandparents are seeing themselves as they are seen by others, which is a necessary condition of playing roles. For most grandparents, when grandchildren enter into adulthood, they reach the end of the grandparental career in all but a symbolic meaning. In other words, they are important symbols of family continuity. Regardless of what grandparents can do for their grandchildren, being a grandparent has a significant effect on the grandparents themselves. Therefore, the role in symbolic terms is very important to the grandparents. Werner (1984) stated that grandparenthood may be a reflection of aging, of continuity, of potency, of usefulness to society. These symbolic functions, and the meanings they reflect, serve our understanding of grandparenthood. Bengtson (1985) emphasized four of these symbolic functions: simply ‘being there’; as the ‘national guard’ or ‘family watchdog’; as arbitrators; and as active participants in the family’s social construction of its history. The participants of this study recognise that their new environment is changing so fast and enormously that they feel their experience counts for nothing. They have an emotional closeness and frequency of contact to construct the most satisfying relationships in the modified extended family from the opportunities available to them. They have less to do with grandchildren and therefore the opportunities for meaningful involvement in the lives of their grandchildren are very limited. As a result, their role has limited significance and is often primarily symbolic and ritualistic. Their simple presence for families in time of trouble, or when parents or grandchildren have a need, exerts an calming influence in such events by affirming their availability as an anchor of stability more than by any specific act of intervention. They are called upon to be there in the family to protect and give care when needed. This function is reflected in what Hagestad (1985) calls the ‘national guard’ and what Troll (1983) referred to as the ‘family watchdog’. The participants also realise, after growing up in the Confucian tradition which emphasises respect towards elders, that to participate in arguments with aging relatives is a sign of disrespect. The values, belief, behaviours are a one way transmission from grandparents to the next generation. Now, in the new society, they need to fully consider the opinions of grandchildren and to respect their autonomy and independence. Intergenerational relationships are no longer a simple process of unidirectional transmission from old to young generations, but rather are an active, creative and effective intergenerational negotiation. This change is a reflective symbol of the grandparents’ arbitrator role. Through this role, the differences between parent and grandchild is downplayed by grandparents.


283

A final symbolic function of grandparenthood is the social construction of the family’s history (Sokolovksy 1990; Barusch & Steen 1996; Thomas 1999). Only a few of the participants keep a family register and rewrite their autobiographies, whilst the majority place more emphasis on the oral transmission to their children and grandchildren of their family’s history in constructing connections between the present members of their modified extended family and the families’ relatives elsewhere. Grandparents play an important role in this construction of connections to the past, present, and future. Their functions are a family resource to bridge into the past, present, and the future for the younger generation. They have a significant interpretive function in the grandchild’s continuity with the past. Grandparenthood and psychological well-being Williams & Berry (1991) and Detzner (1996) pointed out that refugees and immigrants encounter acculturation stress when they are in contact with the host culture. Tran (1990), M. Thomas (1999) and T. Thomas (1999a, b) stated that when Vietnamese elderly came to Australia as refugees or as immigrants under the Family Migration Program, they faced the common problems of most elderly persons: loneliness, forced inactivity, reduced income, decreased physical and mental capacity. Tran (1990) added that they have specific problems of their own as a result of their culture shock and their expatriation. Their stresses of daily living are much more severe than for their host counterparts. The language and cultural barrier, the lack of their own transportation forces them into social isolation, obligatory inactivity, and nonparticipation in recreational and leisure activities. Thomas & Balnaves (1993) confirmed that the greatest sources of stress for the Vietnamese immigrants are the language barrier and their dependency which combine to prevent them from having control over their daily activity. With such severe stresses, they turn to their families, and rely more on them in solving their problems. Unfortunately, their families can often become another cause of stress for them. Tran (1990) and Detzner (1996) illustrated clearly that children tend to change their attitudes towards parents as a result of their acculturation, and grandchildren grow up strangers to their ancestry. These realities tend to add to the Vietnamese grandparents’ stresses. Tran (1990) also remarked that the results of such many stresses are easy to envisage. Boredom, demoralization, irritability, low self-esteem, regrets, depression are some of the emotional responses most frequently observed in Vietnamese grandparents. Thomas & Balnaves (1993) noticed that kin relationships can be a source of both positives support and/or negative stress in the Vietnamese families. The findings of this study support this conclusion. When the grandparentparent relationship is broken and causes the separation of grandchildren from

284


grandparents who then feel sad, depressed, even angry with their children. They suffer when this relationship deteriorates because they are happier when they are able to maintain a close emotional relationship with grandchildren through the parents. They can then be very active and busy working for their family, baby-sitting and caring for the grandchildren, as well as cooking and house keeping for them. Their objective is to try to do everything they can for their children and grandchildren. In assessing the sense of well-being, Rosow (1967) considered happiness as the most common of the individual’s subjective experiences. Grandparents’ happiness is therefore an important influence on their overall psychological well-being.

Conclusion The findings in this study indicate that Vietnamese grandparents in Australia, whilst offering more modest help and assistance than previously was their experience, have neither disappeared nor been replaced. They can still play many important roles such as those of living ancestor, family historian, role model, teacher, mentor, nurturer, crony and mediator. They are still the ‘national guard’ of their families’ harmony and continuity if they adapt to their adjusted roles. But their involvement in their children and grandchildren’s family life is more modest due to their life experience being unsuited to the new environment of a modern society. They can play a satisfying role from the limited opportunities available to them. This is similar to what Williams et al. (1999) have found with the elderly in Singapore and Taiwan, and Mehta et al. (1999) with three ethnic elderly groups (Chinese, Malay and Indian) in Singapore. Generally, when grandparents arrived in Australia, all that they brought with them were their long-standing customs, outdated knowledge and beliefs. The new and more modern values are a shock and present them with significant difficulties and challenge their very being. Their psychological life is turned inside out. Grandparents in Western countries also encountered enormous changes, but this took place earlier and the transition usually occurred over several generations. For the Vietnamese however, on the one hand, these changes deal with opposite extremes of the West and the East values, beliefs, behaviours, and on the other hand, these changes are happening within a very compressed period of time. One day they are in Vietnam, the next day they have to face a new environment totally different from their normal daily life. Therefore, they encounter an acculturative stress leading to intergenerational conflicts and the mental health problems. Similar problems have been identified with other immigrant elders (e.g. Gozdziak 1989; Weinstein-Shr & Henkin 1991; Detzner 1996). It is therefore essen-


285

tial that social and health professionals such as social workers, mental health professionals need to be aware of their life situations and take these into account when providing social welfare and health care for Vietnamese grandparents. To solve generational conflicts, every generation has to work very hard. It is a very complicated and continuous challenge to the members of the families. Each generation has its own responsibility to build a strong relationship with the other. On their part, participants in this study recognise that they need to change their attitude if they want to be accepted by their young. They need to become aware of the new requirements and priorities which include the need to be better informed, to be less critical and more able to get along with their children and grandchildren. They also need to have access to suitable education and they also need some help from the social network to assist them in becoming more able to make the adjustments required. Social policy needs to provide them with educational programs to help them to meet their changing role. Just how adaptable to change these elderly grandparents, in reality, can remain problematic. By their own admission, they have come to realize that certain adaptations to their new familial and cultural environment are necessary. In fact, they have verbalized their new grandparent roles as they have come to see them. Change from a position of authority, knowledge, and respect to one of basically caregiving and emotional support, however, cannot be easy. Much more research is needed regarding the change roles of these immigrant Vietnamese grandparents. Also, because this study concerned the grandparent-grandchild relationship from the perspective of the grandparents themselves, additional research is needed from the other perspectives of parents and grandchildren regarding this relationship. More study is needed to discover the expectations of parents and grandchildren concerning stability and change in the grandparent role. For Vietnamese, in particular, the relationship between the maternal and paternal grandparents and its effect on grandchildren should be examined also. Mutual acceptance and shared activities can serve to enhance the grandchild relationship with the two lines of grandparents. Focus groups involving both sets of grandparents would contribute to such a study. Furthermore, the period of stay in Australia seems to change the roles the participants in this study play as grandparents in the family and their relationships with their children and grandchildren. The years of immersion in Australian society affect their perceptions of what and how grandparenthood should be. Will more changes be happened in the future, this remains to be seen with further research.

286


Of utmost importance to a peaceful and happy grandparent-parentgrandchild coexistence is cooperation and understanding of the acculturation challenges faced by each generation. This can help to bring harmony and cultural continuity to the now modified, extended family relationship. In this way, the grandparent role can contribute positively to health and psychological well-being and can enhance the quality of life of these elderly, Vietnamese grandparents, as well as to that of their children and grandchildren. In conclusion, this study has expanded our limited understanding of the changing roles of Vietnamese immigrant elderly in Australia. It may also shed lights on similar phenomena that other Asian immigrant grandparents are facing in their country of settlement such as in a multicultural society of the United States, Canada and Australia. Acknowledgments We are grateful to all Vietnamese grandparents who gave us the privilege to share their experiences of being a grandparent in a new homeland. We are also grateful to four reviewers who provided valuable comments in the revision of this paper. References Australian Bureau of Statistics (1997). 1996 Census of population and housing. Ethnicity thematic profile. Persons born in Vietnam-Australia. Canberra: Australian Bureau of Statistics. Australian Institute of Multicultural Affairs (1985). Aged migrants to Australia. Assurances of support under sponsorship for family migration. Melbourne: The Publications Unit. Barusch, A. S. & Steen, P. (1996). Keepers of community in a changing world: A critical role, Generations 20(1): 49–52. Bengtson, V. L. (1985). Diversity and symbolism in grandparental roles. In V. L. Bengtson & J. F. Robertson (eds), Grandparenthood. London: Sage Publication. Boman, B. & Edwards, M. (1984). The Indochinese refugee: an overview, Australian and New Zealand Journal of Psychiatry 18(1): 40–52. Brewer, G. (1985). Local Government and the ethnic aged. Canberra: Australian Government Publishing Service. Detzner, D. F. (1996). No place without a home: Southeast Asian grandparents in refugee families, Generations 20(1): 45–48. Die, A. H. & Seelbach, W. C. (1988). Problems, sources of assistance and knowledge of services among elderly Vietnamese migrants, The Gerontologist 28(4): 448–452. Ferris, C. & Bramston, P. (1994). Quality of life in the elderly: A contribution to its understanding, Australian Journal of Ageing 13(3): 120–123. Fisher, L. R. (1982). Transition to grandmotherhood, International Journal of Aging and Human development 16(1): 1983, 67–78.


287

Gozdziak, E. (1989). New branches . . . distant roots: Older refugees in the United States, Aging 359: 2–7. Hagestad, G. O. (1985). Continuity and connectedness. In V. L. Bengtson & J. F. Robertson (eds), Grandparenthood. London: Sage Publication. Holmes, E. R. & Holmes, L. D. (1995). Other cultures, elder years. Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage. Holton, R. (1990). Social aspects of immigration. In M. Wooden, R. Holton, G. Hugo & J. Sloan (eds), Australian immigration: A survey of the issues. Canberra: Australian Government Publishing Service. Kahana, E. & Kahana, B. (1971). Theoretical and research perspectives on grandparenthood, Aging and human development 2: 261–268. Kaufman, J. E. (1996). Personal definitions of health among elderly people: A link to effective health promotion, Family and Community Health 19(2): 58–68. Kitzinger, J. (1995). Introducing focus groups, British Medical Journal 311(29): 299–302. Kivnick, H. Q. (1981). Grandparenthood and the mental health of grandparents. The Journal of Ageing and Society 1: 365–391. Kivnick, H. Q. (1982). Grandparenthood: an overview of meaning and mental health, The Gerontologist 22(1): 59–66. Kivnick, H. Q. (1982). The meaning of grandparenthood. Ann Arbor, MI: UMI Research Press. Knodel, J. (1995). Focus troups as a qualitative method for cross-cultural research in social gerontology, Journal of Cross-Cultural Gerontology 10: 7–20. Kornhaber, A. (1996). Contemporary grandparenting. Thousand Oaks: Sage Publications. Kornhaber, A. & Forsyth, S. (1994). Grandparent power. New York: Crown Publishers. Matthews, S. H. & Sprey, J. (1985). Adolescents’ relationships with grandparents: an empirical contribution to conceptual clarification, Journal of Gerontology 40(5): 621–626. Mehta, K., Osman, M. M. & Lee, A. E. Y. (1995). Living arrangements of the elderly in Singapore: Cultural norms in transition, Journal of Cross-Cultural Gerontoloty 10: 113– 143. Minichiello, V., Aroni, R., Timewell, E. & Alexander, L. (1995). In-depth interviewing: principles, techniques, analysis, 2nd ed., Melbourne: Longman Australia. Morgan, D. L. (1997). Focus groups as qualitative research. Newbury Park, CA: Sage. Peterson, C. C. (1999). Grandfathers’ and grandmothers’ satisfaction with the grandparenting role: Seeking new answer to old questions, International Journal of Aging and Human Development 49(1): 61–78. Pruchno, R. A. & Johnson, K. W. (1996). Research on grandparenting: Current studies and future needs, Generations 20(1): 65–70. Quine, S. (1999). Health concerns and expectations of Anglo and ethnic older Australians: A comparative approach, Journal of Cross-Cultural Gerontology 14: 97–111. Rice, P. L. & Ezzy, D. (1999). Qualitative research methods: a health focus. Melbourne: Oxford University Press. Rice, P. L. & Naksook, C. (1998). Caesarean or vaginal birth: perceptions and experience of Thai women in Australian hospitals, Australian and New Zealand Journal of Public Health 22(5): 604–608. Rosow, I. (1967). Social integration of the aged. New York: Free Press. Saint-Germain, M. A., Bassford, T. L. & Montano, G. (1993). Surveys and focus groups in health research with older Hispanic women, Qualitative Health Research 3(3): 341–367. Schulz, J. H., Borowski, A. & Crown, W. H. (1991). Economics of population aging, the ‘greying’ of Australia, Japan and the United States. New York: Auburn House.

288


Sokolovsky, J. (ed.) (1990). The cultural context of aging. New York: Bergin & Garvey. Stinnett, N., Walters, J. & Kaye, E. (1984). Relationships in marriage and the family, 2nd ed., New York: Macmillan Publishing Company. Tessaro, I., Eng, E. & Smith, J. (1994). Breast cancer screening in older African-American women: Qualitative research findings, American Journal of Health Promotion 8(4): 286– 292. Thomas, M. (1999). Dreams in the shadow: Vietnamese-Australian lives in transition. Sydney: Allen & Unwin. Thomas, T. (1999a). Stress, coping and the mental health of older Vietnamese migrants in Australia, Australian Psychologist 34(2): 83–86. Thomas, T. (1999b). Migrating in old age, is it a good idea?: The mental health of Vietnamese older migrants. In P. L. Rice (ed.), Living in a new country: Understanding migrants’ health. Melbourne: Ausmed Publications. Thomas, T. & Balnaves, M. (1993). New land, last home: the Vietnamese elderly and the Family Migration Program. Canberra: Australian Government Publishing Service. Tinsley, B. R. & Parke, R. D. (1984). Grandparents as support and socialisation agents. In M. Lewis (ed.), Beyond the dyad. New York: Plenum Press. Tran, T. V. (1990). Language acculturation among older Vietnamese refugee adults, The Gerontologist 30: 94–98. Troll, L. E. (1983). Grandparents: the family watchdogs. In T. H. Brubaker (ed.), Family relationships in later life. London: Sage Publication. Vignes, A. J. & Hall, R. C. (1984). Adjustment of a group of Vietnamese people in the US, American Journal of Psychiatry 136: 442–444. Viviani, N. (1996). The Indochinese in Australia 1975–1995, from burnt boats to barbecues. Melbourne: Oxford University Press. Vo-Thanh-Xuan, J. (1999). The changing nature of Vietnamese grandparenthood in Australia. Unpublished Master of Gerontology thesis, School of Public Health, La Trobe University, Melbourne, Australia. Weibel-Orlando, J. (1990). Grandparenting styles: Native American perspectives. In J. Sokolovsky (ed.), The cultural context of aging. New York: Bergin & Garvey. Weinstein-Shr, G. & Henkin, N. (1991). Continuity and change: Intergenerational relations in Southeast Asian refugee families. Marriage and Family Review 16: 351–367. Werner, E. E. (1984). Child care: Kirth, kin, and hired hands. Baltimore: University Park Press. Williams, C. L. & Berry, J. W. (1991). Primary prevention of acculturative stress among refugees, American Psychologist 46(6): 632–41. Williams, L., Mehta, K. & Lin, H. -S. (1999). Intergenerational influence in Singapore and Taiwan: The role of elderly in family decisions, Journal of Cross-Cultural Gerontology 14: 291–322. Address for correspondence: P. L. Rice, School of Public Health, La Trobe University, Bundoora 3083, Victoria, Australia. Phone: 3 9479-1750; Fax: 3 9479-1783; E-mail: [email protected]