Dr. H: I had a crush on one of my undergrad Psyc profs at Towson University in ....
The book I'm reading now: How Starbucks Saved My Life—story of a rich.
Dr. Claudia Haferkamp Interviews Herself Dr. Haferkamp interviewed herself using the Gestalt two chair technique: Dr. H: Hello, Dr. H, are you ready to be interviewed? (jumps to the other chair) Dr. H: Yes, fire away! (jumps to the other chair) Dr. H: Tell us about where you were born and about your family. Dr. H: I am the product of a disturbingly normal and happy family. I'm the second child (Alfred Adler says we try harder), born many moons ago in Baltimore Maryland. My dad who was born in Frankfurt Germany, was an engineer and was part of the design team that created a bottler that put the metal bottle caps on Coke bottles. (If you never opened a bottle with a metal cap, then you are way too young!) My mom grew up in Baltimore and was a stay-at-home mom during my formative years. Then she started working and kept at it until age 80! Both of my parents are now deceased. I also had one older brother, Brian, who worked as a construction manager; sadly he died in 2010. Between the two of us growing up, I was the one who got the great grades and was most well-behaved. Looking back on it, that can be a bit of a handicap. Every child has to “break free” of their family to forge their identity but being the “good smart girl” made that process take longer, for sure. Dr. H: How did you get interested in Psychology? Dr. H: I loved my Psychology profs at Towson State University in Baltimore. Also, as an introvert I was always figuring things out inside my head and was curious about people. So majoring in Psyc made intuitive sense. What’s the difference between extraverts and introverts? Extraverts say 90% of what they think. Introverts keep 90% of what they think inside their heads. We also wish that you over-talkative extraverts would just shut up once in awhile. DR. H: So after graduating as a psyc major, how did your career in Psyc happen? Dr. H: I always wanted to teach and so I sought a master’s program that taught you how to teach Psyc— Central Missouri State University--and got my M.S. degree in 1977. But after doing a six month internship at Fulton State Hospital, I fell in love with clinical work and shifted my focus to that for about 6 years. (Sidebar: Fulton State Hospital is Civil War era and underneath it contained a system of tunnels that were used as part of the famous Underground Railroad for helping slaves escape to the North.) My best state hospital story concerns a patient who believed that she was being followed by mysterious “men in black.” But you’ll have to enroll in either my Personality Theories or Counseling Strategies classes to hear it. In 1983 I entered the doctoral program in Counseling Psychology at Ball State University in Muncie, Indiana and I planned on teaching at the university level upon graduation which is what I’ve done since 1987. My fist teaching job was all graduate at the University of Wisconsin in Madison—a very politically and socially progressive town with fabulous restaurants. But I found the university way too large and impersonal. It was way too cold, weather-wise and interpersonally. Lucky for me, Millersville is my final resting place—meaning that I’ll either die or retire from here! They cannot get rid of me. And I will never willingly do another job interview as long as I live. Never again, thank God. What makes this job great is all the hats that I can wear. I teach both undergraduate and graduate students, clinically supervise the counseling that the graduates are doing, and I am the Graduate and
Clinical Psychology program coordinator. I can honestly say that there is never a day when I don’t think that I have been useful to someone in some capacity. I know I am needed and that what I do fills a vital niche both in the department and in the universe. It’s very meaningful and that helps me get out of bed in the morning. Well, most mornings anyway... Dr. H: How would your colleagues describe you? Dr. H: Most of this is based on mind-reading and a tad of direct feedback. They’d say I’m dependable and really conscientious. I do what I say I’m going to do. I show up early for ALL meetings with rare exceptions. I’m neat and well-organized. (Note the adaptive use of compulsive traits plus normal perfectionism here!) I’m direct and tell it like it is to the point of sometimes being a pain in the ass. I’m assertive and do not suffer fools gladly. And I have a sense of humor with a dose of snappy sarcasm. But I have also learned the prime lesson of sarcasm: use ONLY in small doses. I also love a well-turned phrase. Oscar Wilde is one of my heroes for his pithy remarks. He once said something like this: women’s tragedy is that they become their mothers. Men’s tragedy is that they do not.” How great is that? Dr. H: What things do you do for fun? Dr. H: I have a Yellow Labrador named Bailey who is my second rescue Lab that I adopted in 2011 from the wonderful people at Brookline Labrador Rescue. (My first rescue labby girl was named Katie and she passed over the Rainbow Bridge in 2010 at the ripe age of 15.) Bailey is now the lovable energetic joy of my life! (That's her kissing me in my website photo; it was taken on Christmas Day 2014.) Her waggy greetings lift me out of myself and we love our 3 daily walks. Anyone who lives around F+M and the Buchanan Park area sees us out in all kinds of weather! I also love hiking, travel (including all things British or Celtic), gourmet cooking, everything about tea, tea cuisine and culture and I have a newly developed hobby of bird-watching. (Nice addition to hiking thru great landscapes.) I also work out vigorously daily with weight training and yoga and meditation—all of which is vital to my personal wellness. I also meditate quietly for 1-2 minutes before heading into class. It clears the mind and “centers” me so I feel ready for what's ahead. I have other interests but, frankly, this is starting to feel like a bit like a personals ad and it’s kinda creepy, so I'll leave it at that. Dr. H: What life lessons can you pass along at this stage of your life? Dr. H: I've been teaching longer than my students have been alive—JEEZ! At this stage of life my selfunderstanding and acceptance has grown and with time comes wisdom. I no longer upset myself about dayto-day events and if I catch myself catastrophizing needlessly, I stop myself, take a moment or two to rethink it and take a few deep breaths to center and calm myself. Life is too short to get your bowels in an uproar over most of the daily hassles we face. These shreds of accumulated wisdom are not listed in order of importance but all are based on direct or vicarious experience. I must emphasize vicarious experience for some of these! 1. You are the common denominator in all your crappy relationships. I paraphrased this from a one-liner on the website Despair.com. (Go there now. You will love it.) It is also sadly true, isn't it? 2. Being “in control” is an illusion. Actually the more you try to be in control, the less you have. People with OCD really have to get that one. 3. Stop saying you feel “overwhelmed!” If you have food, clothing, shelter and people who love you, you’re doing better than most of the world. Stop exaggerating your troubles and put them into proper perspective.
4. Never let a week go by without eating some chocolate. Self-explanatory, right? 5. Forgive someone today. Maybe yourself. Maybe somebody else. Forgiveness is NOT about letting someone “off the hook” for bad behavior. It's about saying, “I refuse to keep suffering because of this.” Forgiveness is an act of self-respect and self-love. Do it. You will feel lighter when you let go of the emotional burdens. 6. Negative reinforcement is the removal of something bad that causes behavior to increase. This is one of the most poorly understood concepts in Psychology. I wish people would get this straight! And don’t you dare get this wrong in any of MY classes! 7. Thank your parents. And be there for them in their later years. After all, its only fair: they wiped your butt as an infant and now you owe them. Big time. And your kids will owe you in return. It’s the great circle of life. There's nothing you can do about it. It just is. 8. Breathe. Often. And slowly. It’s a form of meditation. Really. 9. Avoid avoidance. It doesn’t solve problems—it prolongs them. Making yourself do what you've feared is the fastest route to self-efficacy. And it beats taking medication. Cheaper too! 10. Pills don’t teach skills. My students get sick of hearing me say this but it’s true. Even if you feel like crap all the time and you need meds to function, you still have to learn how to manage on your own. And that knowledge doesn’t come in a pill. It comes from learning and maybe also from therapy. Therapy has virtually no negative side effects! What else in life is negative side effect free? Dr. H: What are your plans for the future? Dr. H: First of all, I plan on staying alive for a LONG time. Then I want our graduate programs to flourish. For Clinical students who will face the challenges of a mental health marketplace that seems driven by “mangled care” (i.e., managed care) and a profit-based “business” model of helping, I want them to be able to compete effectively in that environment. Hence my desire to focus the Clinical program on empirically supported approaches to treatment that research shows WORK. I plan on spending the rest of my productive years focused on this goal and on making Millersville's Clinical program one of the best in this area. On the more personal side, I don't work to consume my whole life. I want to take time to create more balance in my life despite working long hours. To that end, I now see each semester as a fresh start at finding that lifestyle balance. I also want to travel more, go back to Nova Scotia (it's just a 2 hour flight from Philly!), England and Scotland and I want to see so many other parts of the world—too numerous to mention here. OK...I better stop…but you get the general idea. I am an energetic woman with plans for years to come. Dr. H: Here are some incomplete sentences I’d like you to complete: People who don’t know me: Don't know that I collect watches. At last count I owned over 100 of them. And now storage is getting to be a bit of an issue... One of my favorite things: Cuddling up with Earl Grey tea in one of my lovely teapots from my huge collection of pots with scones and cream, a good book to read and Bailey by my side sleeping. OR turning up the stereo really loud with the Stones or Tom Petty…
The book I’m reading now: How Starbucks Saved My Life—story of a rich advertising executive who lost everything and found the best job he ever had working at Starbucks. Best of all he learned how not to be a jerk. It’s a true story of personal redemption and learning how to be kind. I heard a rumor that Tom Hanks was going to star in the movie version and I hope that's true. Something most people don’t know about me: When I was 14 I was approached by a coach who wanted me to train for local and Olympics competitive swimming because I was a blazing fast swimmer. I had other plans, but I’ve often wondered what my life would have been like had I taken that other road instead. Sigh... Dr. H: Is there anything you’d like to add before closing our interview? Dr. H: Yes. Would the creep who stole my “Stop global whining “sign from my office door please return it?! Thank you!
