You Can Be Happy No Matter What. May 5, 2013. ➢ Old Saying: “Happiness
comes from happenings. Joy comes from Jesus.” ➢ I agree Joy comes from Jesus
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You Can Be Happy No Matter What May 5, 2013
Old Saying: “Happiness comes from happenings. Joy comes from Jesus.” I agree Joy comes from Jesus, but I disagree with happiness comes from what happens or does not happen to us. Happiness, or the lack thereof, comes for how I THINK about my happenings, not the happenings themselves. Remember in LAEW: The memory of the event is NOT the problem. The PAIN associated with the event is the problem. How we think about an event determines the emotions we feel. It we have negative thoughts about the event, those toxic feelings become embedded in the memory of the event causing us pain whenever we bring the event to mind. Today, we are going to talk about FIVE PRINCIPLES THAT DETERMINE OUR HAPPINESS. 1. THE PRINCIPLE OF THOUGHT The bible talks a great deal about our thoughts Proverbs 23:7--- As a man thinks in his heart, so is he… Philippians 4:8-9 NLT--- And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. Philippians 2:5 NKJV--- Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus
Notice in these verses that we have the power to choose what we THINK. We are the producers of our own thinking. satan can make suggestions, but you decide whether or not to THINK the thought. What we think determines what we see even though often it seems the other way around. STORY: Roberto di Vicenzo lost the Master’s golf tournament because he signed his scorecard for a higher score than he shot. He lost by one shot. He says that he THINKS about his stupidity every day of his life and sees himself as a loser. He is unable to see that it is his THINKING that is causing his depression, not the mistake he made. It is our THINKING, not our circumstances, that determines how we feel. 1
Remember the young man born without any limbs? It is easy to believe that because we THINK something, the object of our thinking represents reality. Our THINKING is not reality, but only an attempt to interpret a given situation. For example, the anorexic THINKS she is FAT and UGLY when in reality she is nothing but skin and bones. SEE how powerful your thoughts are!!!! Perception is REALITY to you even if it is UNTRUE. EXAMPLE: Spill your drink in a restaurant and a man looks at you disgustedly. You THINK he THINKS you are stupid and annoying. You make a judgment that the man is a JERK. No, the man just got fired and is disgusted about his situation, not yours. Your THOUGHTS about the circumstance made you angry and frustrated and ruined your day. And WHO controls what you THINK? YOU DO! Besides, what does is matter if the guy thinks you are stupid. That is not true because Jesus is not stupid and He is your life. Why don’t you THINK about that? Knowing that you control of what you THINK about is the first step in being happy no matter what. THOUGHT SYSTEMS (BELIEF SYSTEM) Our BS is what we believe, or think about God, ourselves, others and life in general. We developed this SYSTEM by what we have been taught, observed, studied and our life experiences. It is like a FILTER thru which we process information. It contains our view of THE WAY LIFE IS which, of course, is always correct (to us at least). Our BS is by nature STUBBORN and does not appreciate being tampered with. That is because as we think in our heart, so are we. We take criticism very personal. Our BS dismisses other points of view as off track; well intended, but wrong. That is why people rarely change their political or religious views. We tend to be drawn to birds of a feather who think like we do and become impatient with those who don’t. Two different BS cannot see things exactly the same way any more than two people speaking different languages can understand each other without an interpreter. Illus: Use bulletin. When we can get to the place where we understand that other people can THINK differently from us and not be necessarily wrong and that the way they THINK is no threat to our true identity in Christ, we can drop the axe we are grinding and start enjoying the happiness God created us to have. 2
2. THE PRINCIPLE OF MOODS A mood is an emotional state. Moods differ from emotions in that they are less specific, less intense, and less likely to be triggered by a particular stimulus or event. Moods generally have either a positive or negative valence. In other words, people typically speak of being in a good mood or a bad mood. (Wikipedia).
In either case, we are never in one place emotionally for too long. The Bible says, “And it came to PASS…” Moods are not permanent. They come to PASS, not to take up residence. In a high mood, life looks good and everything’s coming up roses. In a low mood, life looks unbearably serious and difficult and the least little disturbance can knock you over. Moods stem from how we THINK about what we PERCEIVE to be happening. But moods are like water temperature… The duration of a mood is longer than the thought that caused it. Our MOODS are constantly changing like the man who wanted to renew his vows one day with his wife and wanted to divorce her the next. Moods are part of the HUMAN CONDITION. You cannot avoid them. Some pretty spiritual, Godly people felt the effects of changing moods. 2 Corinthians 1:8-9 NIV--- We do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about the hardships we suffered in the province of Asia. We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that WE DESPAIRED EVEN OF LIFE. Indeed, in our hearts we felt the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, Who raises the dead. Matthew 26:36-38 NLT--- Then Jesus went with them to the olive grove called Gethsemane, and He said, "Sit here while I go over there to pray." He took Peter and Zebedee's two sons, James and John, and He became anguished and distressed. He told them, "MY SOUL IS CRUSHED WITH GRIEF TO THE POINT OF DEATH. Stay here and keep watch with Me." With a proper understanding of MOODS we can learn to be APPRECIATIVE of our high moods and GRACEFUL in our lows. Most of us try to think, figure, or force our way out of a low mood. It cannot be done. A low mood is like quicksand… the more you struggle, the deeper you sink. Both high and low moods will pass… just be patient. God is not disappointed in you because you are having a low mood. Everything looks different to us when we are experiencing various moods. We ALL see the DARKER side in a low mood. 3
Treat others as you would like to be treated… like a real friend. “A friend is someone to whom you can pour out the whole contents of your heart… wheat and chaff together… knowing that the kindest of hands will take it, sift it, keep what is worth keeping and then with a breath of kindness, blow the rest away.” In a low mood, we take things so seriously and say things we would never say in a high mood. Cut people some slack knowing that you experience the same thing. Hold your tongue when you are in a low mood, or else you will spend the majority of your time in your next high mood apologizing for what you said while in the low mood. If you don’t understand the nature of MOODS, you will see others as pessimistic, negative, or shortsighted. Don’t take MOODS too seriously. Low moods breed confusion and resentment because we are not THINKING rationally. They encourage us to “want to get to the bottom of this” and “read into what others are saying” and to “express our feelings.” Don’t take it personal what someone you love says to you while in a low mood. The more time we spend with someone, the more likely we are to see them in their low moods. Most serious relationship problems turn out to be nothing more than two partners who habitually take each other’s low moods too seriously. Learn to LET THEM BE in a low mood. The last thing they need or want is someone questioning or arguing with them. Doing so will only deepen their mood and encourage more of the same. When you find yourself in a hole, step one: stop digging. When suffering the effects of a low mood, remember Orphan Annie’s song: THE SUN WILL COME OUT TOMORROW… Understanding that MOODS pass, and that high moods come on the heels of low moods, will help you be happy no matter what. 3. THE PRINCIPLE OF SEPARATE REALITIES We don’t expect people of different cultures to see and do things the way we do. Why are we shocked that people with different THOUGHT SYSTEMS don’t see things as we do. Every one of us sees life thru the filter of his/her own Belief System. No two are alike. It’s not a matter of tolerating differences in behavior, but UNDERSTANDING that it literally CANNOT BE ANY OTHER WAY! It’s like Men see thru Blue lenses and Women see thru Pink. Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus. Because every human being has different life experiences, parents, backgrounds, interpretations, memory, selective perception, circumstances, and mood levels. Each has developed a unique BELIEF SYSTEM… a SEPARATE REALITY, if you will. 4
Understanding the Principle of SEPARATE REALITIES can virtually eliminate quarrels. When we expect to see things differently… When we take it as a given that others will do things differently… When we understand that others will react differently to the same stimulus… Then the compassion we have for ourselves and others rises dramatically. The minute you expect otherwise, conflict will arise.
Problems in relationships come about in two ways: 1. We THINK people DO see things the way we do so we can’t understand and we get upset by their reactions. 2. We BELIEVE that others SHOULD see things the way we do because we see REALITY the way it really is. The fact of the matter is that other people SHOULD NOT see things our way because, in fact, they CANNOT. If you don’t understand this principle of SEPARATE REALITIES, the differences in people will be a major source of frustration. If you do understand and know that your identity in Christ is not threatened by these differences, those same differences can become a source of interest, growth and inspiration. Romans 14:1-9 MSG--- Welcome with open arms fellow believers who don't see things the way you do. And don't jump all over them every time they do or say something you don't agree with — even when it seems that they are strong on opinions but weak in the faith department. Remember, they have their own history to deal with. Treat them gently. 2 For instance, a person who has been around for a while might well be convinced that he can eat anything on the table, while another, with a different background, might assume all Christians should be vegetarians and eat accordingly. 3 But since both are guests at Christ's table, wouldn't it be terribly rude if they fell to criticizing what the other ate or didn't eat? God, after all, invited them both to the table. 4 Do you have any business crossing people off the guest list or interfering with God's welcome? If there are corrections to be made or manners to be learned, God can handle that without your help. 5 Or, say, one person thinks that some days should be set aside as holy and another thinks that each day is pretty much like any other. There are good reasons either way. So, each person is free to follow the convictions of conscience. 6 What's important in all this is that if you keep a holy day, keep it for God's sake; if you eat meat, eat it to the glory of God and thank God for prime rib; if you're a vegetarian, eat vegetables to the glory of God and thank God for broccoli. 7 None of us are permitted to insist on our own way in these matters. 8 It's God we are answerable to — all the way from life to death and everything in between — not 5
each other. 9 That's why Jesus lived and died and then lived again: so that he could be our Master across the entire range of life and death, and free us from the petty tyrannies of each other. 4. THE PRINCIPLE OF FEELINGS This principle states that our FEELINGS tell us, with complete accuracy, when our thinking is dysfunctional. Our BELIEF SYSTEM is a mixture of truth and error. If we think on the truth, walk in the Spirit, then the fruit of the spirit will be evident in our experience. Galatians 5:22-23 MSG--- But what happens when we live God's way? He brings gifts into our lives, much the same way that fruit appears in an orchard — things like affection for others, exuberance about life, serenity. We develop a willingness to stick with things, a sense of compassion in the heart, and a conviction that a basic holiness permeates things and people. We find ourselves involved in loyal commitments, not needing to force our way in life, able to marshal and direct our energies wisely. Our feelings are to our mental health like the warning lights of our car. Both let us know that it’s time to ease off the accelerator and pull off the road. Colossians 3:15 NIV--- Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. That word “RULE” is like a referee who blows the whistle on us whenever we step out of bounds. Whenever we lose our PEACE, we know our THINKING IS STINKING and we have focused on the ERROR, not the TRUTH of our identity in Christ. Whenever you lose your peace, stop and ask the Lord, “Why have I lost my peace?” Be careful what you ask for, because He will tell you. Once He tells you what to do… Ephesians 6:14 NIV--- Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist… In biblical times, the bowels were often believed to be the “seat of emotions.” Butterflies in your stomach… throwing up when nervous… etc. When we put on the armor of God, our bowels are girded with the BELT OF TRUTH so that we would have no LYING emotions… emotions not based on Truth. Emotions lead to MOODS. There is no value to LOW MOODS except to remind us that we are thinking in a dysfunctional manner and should not trust or seriously listen to yourself at the present moment.
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Thoughts in a LOW MOOD will always be distorted, and since our FEELINGS are a direct result of our THOUGHTS, our FEELINGS will be distorted as well. Whenever we feel angry, jealous, resentful, greedy, depressed, or in some way unhappy, we need to understand that these FEELINGS are being manufactured by the ERROR in our Belief System and are not based on the REALITY of our life IN CHRIST. Jesus said that we need to be like little children. My grandkids can experience great frustration and negativity one second, and then next second they are smiling and laughing. Remember that we were created to be HAPPY with nothing but our relationship with God. We are inherently happy, but sometimes it gets covered up with our negative THINKING which leads to sour FEELINGS. Sour FEELINGS only let us know something is wrong so we can run to Jesus and ask Him again to take His rightful place on the STOOL of our life. The minute we do so, our happiness returns. 5. THE PRINCIPLE OF THE PRESENT MOMENT Whenever our focus is on the PRESENT, our experience in life comes from a place of WISDOM, rather than REACTIVITY. 1 Corinthians 1:30 NIV--- It is because of Him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us WISDOM from God — that is, our righteousness, holiness and redemption.
Jesus said He was the great I AM. When we are in Him… in the moment… He IS our WISDOM. Wisdom help you keep your bearings and your perspective. It directs you toward happiness without encouraging you to pretend that things are different than they actually are. You will never be happy until you learn to live in the PRESENT MOMENT because that is where Jesus is. A mind that is OUT OF THE MOMENT is fertile ground for worry, anxiety, regret and guilt. We all have a PAST, but focusing on it when we cannot do anything about it will rob us of our happiness. Remember that YOU produce your thoughts. You get to choose what you think about and therefore avoid sad, angry and victimized feelings. 2 Corinthians 10:4-6 NIV--- The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.
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It is our THINKING, not our circumstances that determines how we feel. The same circumstances will depress some and encourage others. EX: Baby Zane The next time you are stressed or frustrated, take a quick, honest look at where your thoughts are. Almost certainly you will be thinking about what you have to do in the future, or what happened to you in the past. Truly happy people understand that life is really nothing more than a series of present moments to experience, one right after the other. They appreciate the past for what it has taught them about living in the present moment. They realize that this very moment is where life is truly lived. God designed you for HAPPINESS. Yesterday is HISTORY… Tomorrow is a MYSTERY… Today is a GIFT… That is why they call it THE PRESENT!
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