building a jewish community together - Congregation Habonim

JUNE 2017 SIVAN / TAMUZ 5777

BUILDING A JEWISH COMMUNITY TOGETHER

103 West End Ave / New York, NY 10023 ph 212-787-5347 / fax 212-595-3542 www.habonim.net

CALENDAR JUNE 2017 From Rabbi Kenter Let Me In …

Let me in, yeah, let me get closer Me runnin' wild like I feel it all over Catch my hand, I'll be fightin' for ya' …Gimme, gimme that love, I'll be waitin' for ya' Catch my hand, I'll be fightin' for ya' …Holdin' my breath till there's nothing left Hold your breath, now there's nothing left Gimme that love, I'll be waitin for ya'

[Ryan Rabin, Hannah Hooper, Christian Zucconi, Andrew Wessen, Daniel Gleason • Copyright © Warner/Chappell Music, Inc, Fox Music, Inc]

The images of the Jews accepting the Torah at Mt. Sinai is one of the most dramatic and moving episodes through the Torah. Some Sages view the Revelation at Mt. Sinai as a metaphorical marriage in which the bride and groom are represented by the Jews and God. The Torah represents a ketubah; the wedding contract between a husband and a wife, and the mountain of Sinai represents a chuppah, a wedding canopy. Like a husband and wife, God and the Jews pledge their eternal love, trust and support to one another. This image of love is used often throughout the Torah to symbolize one of the strongest types of love that exists in the world.

SHAVUOT Tuesday, May 30 – office closes at noon. 8:15 pm – study session with Rabbi Kenter @ JCC Manhattan. Wednesday May 31 – Shavuot Day 1 – Shavuot Service 9:30 am (office closed) Thursday June 1 – Shavuot Day 2 – Shavuot Service 9:30 am with Yizkor (office closed) KABBALAT SHABBAT SERVICES 6:30 pm – Friday, June 2, 9, 16, 23, 30 TOT SHABBAT Friday, June 2, 5:30 pm, followed by light dinner for Tot Shabbat attendees + Gan-Aleph-Bet families SHABBAT MORNING SERVICES 9:30 am – Saturday, June 3, 10, 17, 24 Every Saturday at 11:00 am – Torah Tots (ages 5 and under, with parent/caregiver) SISTERHOOD SHABBAT Saturday June 3 at 9:30 am BEIT MIDRASH June 3 after Kiddush Lunch Sponsored by Sisterhood, with Rebecca Neuwirth – Director of Strategic Engagement, American Jewish Joint Distribution Committee, “Jews of Germany & Europe.” SUNDAY JUNE 4 11:00 am – 4:00 pm – ISRAEL DAY PARADE

For more than two thousand years, Jewish weddings have two parts: Erusin and Nisuin. Erusin represents engagement and betrothal, a binding together as best expressed in the prophet Hosea’s: “I will betroth you in righteousness and justice, in love and compassion. I will betroth you in faithfulness, and you will know the Lord.” (Hosea 2: 16-22). Nisuin, comes from a Hebrew root indicative of the shouldering of responsibility for the relationship between spouse and spouse. The same root shares in the formation of the verbs to carry, to forgive, to ascend.

TUESDAY, JUNE 6 6:30 pm – Annual Congregational Meeting

In many Sephardic congregations, prior to the Torah reading on the first day of Shavuot, a ketubbah le-Shavuot (marriage certificate for Shavuot) is read, as a symbolic betrothal of God and His people Israel. The terminology of this piyyut (medieval poem), in its various versions, (->p.8)

“MUSINGS WITH THE RABBI” Ongoing, Tuesdays at 10:00 am – June 6 – 13 – 20 - 27

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FRIDAY JUNE 9 Adult Shabbat Dinner with member Dr. Howard Stoffer MONDAY, JUNE 12 OR TUESDAY, JUNE 20 (come to one) 7:00 pm – How to Make a Shiva Visit, with Rabbi Kenter SUNDAY MORNING MINYAN 9:30 am – June 4 & 25

QUEENS SERVICES Adult Education – Wednesday, June 7, 8:15 pm Shabbat Services – Friday, June 23, 8:15 pm

CONGREGATION HABONIM MAZAL TOV

[email protected] / www.habonim.net Rabbi Barry Kenter * Cantor Bruce Halev* Richard Kargauer, Executive Director Rina Cohen Schwarz, Religious School Director Tina Lobel, Nursery School Director Ann Obsatz, Assoc. Nursery School Dir.

OFFICERS Neil Goldstein PRESIDENT Stephen Berman TREASURER Susan Grant SECRETARY David Feuerstein VICE PRESIDENT Michael Harwayne VICE PRESIDENT Richard Verner VICE PRESIDENT

ext109 ext 107 ext 101 ext 105 ext 109 ext 123

OFFICE STAFF Kenny Altman Louise Rode Roy Ramsey Adina Rifkin

ext 103 ext 102 ext 106 ext 100

MAINTENANCE STAFF Matvey Khazanov ext 122 Jesus Guttierez ext 122

BOARD OF TRUSTEES

TRUSTEES Mindy Abramson Beth Bornstein Jonathan Chariton Deena Ecker Nita Gottesman Wendy Halperin Debra Karlstein Jennifer Kenter Michael Massen Maya Levy Merdinger Marc Mehl Jeffrey Moelis Abigail Schlaff Howard Stoffer Elaine Witkoff

PAST PRESIDENTS Elaine Witkoff Saul Sanders* Leo Asen John Keller* Carol Kahn Strauss Ralph Stein, MD z”l * indicates ex officio board member

HONORARY TRUSTEES Arthur Falkenstein z”l Herman Lichtenberg z” Peter Mayer z”l Marga Walter z”l * indicates of blessed memory

DEPARTMENTS & THEIR EXTENSIONS Adult Education Bookkeeping Bulletin

100 102 100

Cemetery Life Cycle Events Maintenance

100 100 122

Membership 100 Nursery School 106 Religious School & Family Programming 105 Service Times & Location 100 Space Rental 100

CONGREGATION HABONIM is a member of United Synagogue of Conservative Judaism

To Rachel & Matthew Stein on the birth of their son, Eli Aaron Stein, brother to Ava. To Zach & Heather Dabah on the birth of their daughter, Julie Harper Dabah, sister to Reece.

TEMPLE SERVICES Yahrzeit / Memorial Plaques Plaques are displayed outside the Sanctuary Tree of Life Leaves Commemorate special occasions or honor someone special with a leaf displayed on our entrance wall Prayer Books Book plate dedications for all occasions Facilities Rental Available for private parties Kiddush Sponsorships Sponsor an Oneg Shabbat CEMETERY PLOTS Plots are available at Cedar Park Cemetery, Paramus, NJ, in the Habonim section. For information, contact Adina Rifkin at [email protected] or 212-787-5347 ext.100

Please send all donations and payments to: CONGREGATION HABONIM C/O KESEF ACCOUNTING SERVICES POB 159 MONTVALE, NJ 07645-0159 Thank you! PLEASE NOTE THAT THERE WILL NOT BE A BULLETIN IN EITHER JULY OR AUGUST. THE NEXT BULLETIN WILL BE FOR SEPTEMBER. ALL SUBMISSIONS MUST BE RECEIVED NOT LATER THAN AUGUST 15 AND SHOULD BE SUBMITTED TO [email protected]. THE SEPTEMBER BULLETIN WILL INCLUDE INFORMATION FOR THE HIGH HOLIDAYS.

Please inform the Habonim office of all Life Cycle events in your family: births, deaths, anniversaries, awards, promotions & other significant occasions. Contact Adina at ext 100 or [email protected]

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Modah ani l’fanecha. I am thankful to You (God) in Your presence. This is the opening line of the traditional personal prayer said upon waking in the morning. We show our gratitude and appreciation to God through this and many other prayers and blessings. From my perspective, these prayers help remind us to show gratitude not only to God, but also to the people in our lives. Perhaps it was God’s wisdom and the careful consideration of the great rabbis who first composed our siddur (prayer book) over 1000 years ago who wanted to show the importance of saying thank you. I want to take the opportunity to say Todah Rabbah (thank you very much) to many people who are the village to help make the Habonim Religious School be the place of happy, thoughtful learning and community building. To the Religious School/Youth & Family Programs Committee: Beth Bornstein, Jon Forstadt, Alison Fried, Lisa Kaplan, Alan Kaufman, Claire Lewin, Carol Mosesson-Teig, chaired by Wendy Halperin – thank you all for your time, support, questions, feedback and ideas! To the Rabbi and Cantor – todah rabbah for partnering in our education and youth programs and being so present for our children and families. JUNE 2017

To Tina, Ann and all of the Nursery School teachers – thank you for providing a warm, nurturing environment for our youngest learners, and helping to ensure that our I have the opportunity to interact with the Nursery School students each week. To Kenny, Adina, Louise, Matvey, Jesus and the rest of the maintenance team, to the usual security guard John, all overseen by our Executive Director, Richard Kargauer, I say thank you for helping to make our space safe and welcoming for our students and families.

Tamar, Daniella, Dawn, Emily, Rob, Sam, Sasha, Gaby, Max, Alexis, Yalon, Avi, Cantor Halev, and Rabbi Kenter. You are all doing holy work indeed! To all of the parents who have committed to being a part of this holy community – thank you for bringing your children each week for class and to our Shabbat and holiday services/programs. And, finally to the children – you are each a treasure – todah rabbah for bringing your joy of learning into the spaces at Habonim. You each bring Kedusha or holiness into our community. Rina Cohen Schwarz Religious School Director

To the entire Lay Leadership of Congregation Habonim, led by President Neil Goldstein, todah rabbah for your unending support of the children, youth and families of our synagogue. To the Shabbat & Holidays Youth Services team – Ella, Karen, Anna, Avi, Rob, Doron (and any other lay leader who has stepped in to lead Torah Tots), and all the children who attend our youth services and the parents who bring them to services – thank you! To all of the teachers – todah rabbah! We are truly blessed to have such caring, thoughtful, enthusiastic teachers: Karen, 3

As the school year is drawing to a close and we reflect on this past year's accomplishments, I am delighted to report that it has been a wonderful year for our students and our families. We have created a wonderful community at Congregation Habonim. Throughout the school year, we enjoyed Family Shabbat dinners here at Habonim with Rabbi Kenter and Cantor Halev. This was a fantastic opportunity for our children to share this meaningful time with their families and friends. It was delightful sharing Rock Shabbat and the celebrating the Jewish holidays together. Along with our dedicated teachers who made our classrooms a lovely learning environment for our children, I also wish to reiterate my gratitude to our creative and hardworking parents who have

volunteered and given so generously of their time through their involvement in our Parents Association and on the Nursery School Committee. We could not do all of the things that we do in the Nursery School without their amazing participation. Ann and I want to extend our special thanks to all of them, with particular mention to the leadership of Mindy Abramson and Amy Saks our PA Co-Chairs, and to Marc Mehl, Elisa Winokur and Maya Levy, our Nursery School Committee Co-Chairs. I hope that everyone has a wonderful summer. For those of you who will be participating in our June School, a fun-filled two-week camp program immediately following the end of school, I will look forward to having this extra time together. Best, Tina Lobel Nursery School Director

Shiva Community at Habonim invites you to “How to Make a Shiva Visit” - please join us at one of the following meetings: · Monday, June 12, 7:00 pm · Tuesday, June 20, 7:00 pm – contact Susan Grant at [email protected] for information, or to RSVP.

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Women’s League for Conservative Judaism, TORAH FUND LUNCHEON, April 23, 2017 Remarks from Honoree Ruth Murphy I am honored to be here today. Tonight is Erev Yom Ha’Shoa. I will be reading the names of my mother’s German family that perished in Germany: the Kohns, the Kalishers and the Klines. My parents Rosi and Billy were survivors of the War. They made Alyiah to Israel. Their commitment to volunteering in the community was a role model for me and my siblings. My mother Rosi received the Citizen of the Year Award from the late Shimon Peres, President of Israel, for her voluntary services. She was also named an Honorable Citizen of our town Ramat Hasharon. My father Billy was awarded an OBE and headed several nonprofit organizations, travelling the world to raise funds. By now, my accent has given me away. I was raised in Israel where being Jewish is taken for granted. The Jewish heritage is pervasive throughout Israel. Shabbat begins and all routine takes a break, families get together for Shabbat dinner. Most don’t go to Shul and have no idea how to pray, but on a SEDER night, everyone joins in reading the Haggadah with all the traditional dishes. You couldn’t buy ‘Hametz’ even if you wanted to. I was educated at a secular school. We studied Bible, Mishna, some Talmud and Jewish history. Prayer was not a part of our curriculum. 20 years ago my family relocated to New York for my husband, Tim’s work. We arrived several days before Yom Kippur. On the streets on New York, this High Holiday felt like a regular day. It became clear to me and my husband that we could go the way of so many others and quickly lose our connection to Judaism and our traditions unless we did something about it. We found a warm Jewish community at Congregation Habonim where we learned to ‘daven’ (pray), participate in Beit Midrash and Study Classes. Our son Jonathan went to Hebrew School and was called to the Torah on his Bar Mitzvah. Since joining Congregation Habonim I have come to understand that things do not just happen. Every one of us is called to participate actively. This is why I have committed to volunteering in our community, baking OZNAI HAMAN, Chairing the Membership Committee, serving on the Board, and the endless jobs one is ‘volunteered’ for. “Kol Israel arev’im ze la ze”. (All of Israel are responsible for one another.) Todah.

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SISTERHOOD Lots of things to look forward to, so make note of what might interest YOU and save the dates! BOOK DISCUSSION – June 7, 7:00 pm, Etgar Keret’s Seven Good Years *********************************************************** SISTERHOOD SHABBAT - Saturday, June 3 Saturday June 3, Sisterhood Shabbat ~ everyone is invited and welcome to enjoy this glorious and uplifting Shabbat service, and Kiddush is sponsored by Sisterhood. Beit Midrash to follow Kiddush. Our speaker will be Rebecca Neuwirth of the American Jewish Joint Distribution Committee, with the topic “Jews of Germany & Europe.” *********************************************************** Janet Cord, Amy Kargauer, Co-Presidents

*********************************************************** Winding Down from the Magical Years of being Sisterhood President… Amy Kargauer No, it’s not hyperbole to say “magical.” In retrospect, it was an amazing time for me, full of friends made, lessons learned, and personal growth; all that and the opportunity to work with so many amazing and hard-working volunteers to bring good things to our congregation. I have had experiences and memories to last a lifetime. It began with making aliyah, so to speak, from New Jersey to Manhattan. I paid Sisterhood dues in hopes of attending some programs and meeting some women in the neighborhood. Through attending services on many Shabbat mornings, I met some lovely “ladies of a certain age,” one of whom corralled me into becoming a member of the Sisterhood Board. So I sat at one meeting a month and listened. Soon I became Recording Secretary. Once I retired from full-time work, I was recruited to be co-President, and then became President on my own. One summer, Sisterhood helped subsidize my attendance at WLCJ Leadership Institute. This fantastic few days (next one is this October 29 – 30, in Merrick, New York) is an opportunity periodically offered to ALL Sisterhood members; it features especially engaging workshops, communal worship, and information to learn on both personal and organizational levels. I met women whom I’ve since come to know as dedicated professionals and warm, friendly, caring individuals. As a Sisterhood President, you are never alone. The Board and the members work together to strengthen the programs and the Congregation. We’ve done this through programs for women only, e.g. a meeting about nutrition for women of all ages. We’ve done social action programs, from collecting and assembling bags of “necessities” for women in shelters, to helping at local food pantry, to distributing toys for Chanukah. We’ve done specific things for Habonim: book discussions; mishloach manot; helping NS children make Chanukah candles; just to name a few! I have, truly, learned so much about what’s to be done and ideas of how to do it. And with all of those women, through all of those projects, I feel that I have served my community and the wider community ~ all while learning to be a leader, an organizer (me?!), and someone who is now not totally ignorant when talking about Jewish text and traditions and even some small amount of Torah. It’s been Sisterhood women who’ve encouraged me to learn to chant Torah as well. Serving as President has given me a profound respect for the women of Congregation Habonim; a rekindled pride in being a Jew; a newfound confidence in my own abilities. If that’s not magical, I don’t know what is! I want to thank every woman who has ever served, whether 1 week, 1 month, or several years, time on he Sisterhood Board. YOU are the women who made the magic all happen. In addition, my thanks to the wonderful staff here, maintenance and office, who are always friendly and ever so helpful! I’d encourage every woman to join Sisterhood & take advantage of the opportunities to become a leader in our synagogue community while strengthening her own sense of self. JUNE 2017

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FROM RABBI KENTER (continued from p. 1) strongly recalls that of the traditional prenuptial document (specifying the conditions agreed upon between the two parties; known as tena’im) or the marriage certificate given by the bridegroom to the bride at the wedding ceremony, known as ketubbah). The most widely used text of a ketubbah le-Shavuot is that of the prolific Safed mystic and poet Israel Najara (c.1550c.1625), included in the Sephardic prayer book for Shavuot: "Friday, the sixth of Sivan, the day appointed by the Lord for the revelation of the Torah to His beloved people… The Invisible One came forth from Sinai, shone from Seir and appeared from Mount Paran unto all the kings of the earth, in the year 2448 since the creation of the world, the era by which we are accustomed to reckon in this land whose foundations were upheld by God, as it is written, 'For He hath founded it upon the seas and established it upon the floods' (Psalms 24.2). "The Bridegroom [God], Ruler of rulers, Prince of princes, Distinguished among the select, Whose mouth is pleasing and all of Whom is delightful, said unto the pious, lovely and virtuous maiden [the people of Israel] who won His favor above all women, who is beautiful as the moon, radiant as the sun, awesome as bannered hosts: Many days wilt thou be Mine and I will be thy Redeemer. "Behold, I have sent thee golden precepts through the lawgiver Jekuthiel [Moses]. Be thou My mate according to the Law of Moses and Israel, and I will honor, support, and maintain thee and be thy shelter and refuge in everlasting mercy. And I will set aside for thee, in lieu of thy virginal faithfulness, the life-giving Torah by which thou and thy children will live in health and tranquility.

'Revere God and observe His commandments; this applies to all mankind' (Ecclesiastes 12:13). The Bridegroom, desiring to confer privileges upon His people Israel and to transmit these valuable assets to them, took upon Himself the responsibility of this marriage contract, to be paid from the best portions of His property… "All these conditions are valid and established forever and ever. The Bridegroom has given His oath to carry them out in favor of His people and to enable those that love Him to inherit substance. Thus the Lord has given His oath. The Bridegroom has followed the legal formality of symbolic delivery of this document, which is bigger than the earth and broader than the seas. Everything, then, is firm, clear, and established… "I invoke heaven and earth as reliable witnesses. "May the Bridegroom rejoice with the bride whom He has taken as His lot and may the bride rejoice with the Husband of her youth while uttering words of praise." A Jewish wedding happens when three conditions are met: kesef, the exchange of an object of value, shtar, a written document, and biah, shared intimacy. The object of value: mitzvot; the document, the Torah, biah, the shared intimacy of spouse and spouse, the alone time. According to an ancient legend, we were all there: we experienced first-hand the arrival of groom and bride to the huppah, we all witnessed the Sinai event, and we share that love story and that wedding video with our families; we play and replay the video, the DVD, the CD over and over again, year after year, every time to Torah is taken from the ark.

"This bride [Israel] consented and became His spouse. Thus an eternal covenant, binding them forever, was established between them. The Bridegroom then agreed to add to the above all future expositions of Scripture, including Sifra, Sifre, Aggadah, and Tosefta. He established the primacy of the 248 positive commandments that are incumbent upon all… and added to them the 365 negative commandments. The dowry that this bride brought from the house of her father consists of an understanding heart that understands, ears that hearken, and eyes that see.

While Shavuot may be the least remembered and least observed of the three major pilgrimage festivals, it’s certainly shorter than Passover and shorter than Sukkot, it remains key to who and what we are and how a spiritual connection with God can work.

"Thus the sum total of the contract and the dowry, with the addition of the positive and negative commandments, amounts to the following:

- Rabbi Barry Kenter

JUNE 2017

Our tradition suggests in a wonderfully erotic, explicit way of how intimacy works: the groom cannot enter the huppah without bride’s permission: Eyn nikhnas hehatan le-huppah eleh im ken notenet lo reshut [Vayikrah Rabbah 9]. We came to Sinai and we invited God in.How camn we live a life of intimacy with God? Let God in.

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Adult Shabbat Dinner At Congregation Habonim Friday, June 9 With guest speaker Dr. Howard Stoffer. Dr. Stoffer is a member of Congregation Habonim, and serves as Associate Professor of National Security at the University of New Haven. He is a former US Foreign Service officer and Deputy Executive Director in the UN Security Council. Dr. Stoffer served in the Foreign Service of the United States from 1980 to 2005, retiring as a member of the Senior Foreign Service of the Department of State. He served for seven years as the Deputy Executive Director of the CounterTerrorism Committee Executive Directorate of the United Nations Security Council. His research interests focus on American national security, including nuclear arms control, U.S. policies in the Middle East, Russia, China and the Koreas as well as counter-terrorism.  6:30 pm – Kabbalat Shabbat service  7:30 pm – Dinner, $36, register at goo.gl/UUzmEx  We look forward to seeing you!

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SHIVA COMMUNITY MEETINGS Shiva Community at Habonim invites you to “How to Make a Shiva Visit” presented by Rabbi Kenter – please join us at one of the following meetings:  Monday, June 12, 7:00 pm  Tuesday, June 20, 7:00 pm There is an art to making a shiva visit. It is an important process by which we mourn and honor our loved ones. As a community at Habonim, the comfort and strength we give to and draw from each other is invaluable. Please join us to learn more about how to make this an enriching and meaningful experience, for both the mourner and the visitor. To RSVP, or for further information, contact Susan Grant at [email protected].

CANDLE LIGHTING Tuesday Wednesday Friday Friday Friday

May 30, Erev Shavuot May 31, Shavuot June 2 June 9 June 16

8:01 pm 9:10 pm 8:04 pm 8:08 pm 8:11 pm

Friday

June 23

8:13 pm

Friday

June 30

8:13 pm

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HAVE A FABULOUS SUMMER! TEAM HABONIM BUILDING A JEWISH COMMUNITY TOGETHER

THANK YOU TO THE SISTERHOOD OF CONGREGATION HABONIM FOR ITS GENEROUS SUPPORT OF THE MONTHLY BULLETIN MAILING

CONGREGATION HABONIM 103 West End Avenue New York, NY 10023