Listen to David Gray, 'Real Love' from A New Day at Midnight at iTunes, lyrics at
http:// .... 106-7, which quotes David Bayles and Ted Orland Art and Fear (Santa ...
lent adventure sample (*participants’ names have been changed)
lent adventure Day 1 - Space, the final frontier ‘All transformation takes place in liminal space’ observes Richard Rohr. Liminal comes from the word for threshold; a word connoting an in-between moment, the tipping point between staying and going, the boundary between here and there. Liminal spaces are places or times where normal life is suspended, making us more open to new possibilities. If we are to explore new ways of being, we must intentionally put ourselves in a space which is counter to the norm, tip ourselves off balance, and wait to see what happens. Some of us may already be in this space, through no choice of our own, because of illness or suffering. The rest of us will have to make a series of choices that create a liminal space within our everyday life. Everyday life comprises habits, people, thought-patterns and routine. In a busy world, our ‘normal’ may be unhealthily dictated by the drivenness, superficial and controlobsessed patterns of much of modern life. I love how Margaret Wheatley’s quotation of Rumi sums this need for space: ‘Sit down and be quiet/You are drunk and this is the edge of the roof’. How can we create a space for ourselves? I mentioned in the welcome email how sometimes people ‘give up’ things for lent. Now it’s our turn to think about what we might let go of in order to create space, but also what we might like to ‘take up’ and welcome in. Reflection Both inner and outer space are important. So here are some questions to ponder: What habit might I like to give up, in order to make a space in my mind? What would I like to take up instead? Action ‘Even if it’s approaching torture, I’ve got my routine’, Aimée Mann. If you are not already in a season of liminal space which gives you time to just be, you will need to make a physical space. What can you do to create a space in your day which is quiet, peaceful and uninterrupted? Don’t worry if you can only manage this for a few minutes; it is making a start that counts. Practically, you might need to get up earlier, have a conversation with your partner about childcare, sneak into a meeting room or quiet cafe at lunchtime, sit quietly in your car for a few minutes before entering the office, or detour your daily commute through a park.
Finally, the lent adventure googlegroup is a kind of liminal space, so do come right in and start posting. I’m there so come and join me! Elizabeth References Richard Rohr, Adam’s Return (New York: Crossroad, 2004), p. 135. Margaret Wheatley, Turning to Each Other (San Francisco: Berrett-Koehler, 2009), p. 99. Listen to Aimée Mann, ‘Momentum’ from the soundtrack to Magnolia. Lyrics available at http:// www.stlyrics.com/lyrics/magnolia/momentum.htm.
lent adventure Day 6 - love Perhaps the most important application of the training of wabi-sabi is in how we notice the beauty in imperfect people. ‘Wabi now connotes rustic simplicity, freshness or quietness, and can be applied to both natural and human-made objects, or understated elegance. It can also refer to quirks and anomalies arising from the process of construction, which add uniqueness and elegance to the object. Sabi is beauty or serenity that comes with age, when the life of the object and its impermanence are evidenced in its patina and wear, or in any visible repairs.’ Training ourselves to appreciate the beauty in each other is a leap of faith which requires us to lay down the ‘record of wrongs’ we sometimes keep about each other, and to start to see differently. One writer expresses this as reminding ourselves ‘it’s not about what they’re not doing, but about what they are doing’. Jim McNeish taught at a recent conference about loving other people as they want and need to be loved. As part of this, Jim advocated a discipline of noticing how others are trying to love us, even if that is not really succeeding. As we train ourselves to notice the beauty, the contribution and the intention to love in others, we will actually experience more love and therefore be empowered to give more of ourselves. The decision to undertake this training, however, is another leap of faith, another opportunity to answer the question ‘can I be fearless?’ with an affirmative. To see others through the lens of wabi-sabi requires a deep acceptance of things that are not always the way we want, and over which we have no control. Reflection How does the idea of wabi-sabi change the way you might experience people? What steps might you need to take to grow in this way of seeing? How can you notice how others are trying to love you? Action Choose one person in your life who you would like to love and accept more deeply. Start experimenting with new ways of noticing their beauty, their ‘patina’ and the ways that they are trying to be loving. It is OK if this person is yourself. Love
Elizabeth References http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wabi-sabi. For more details on Jim McNeish’s work see http://www.cantle.net. Suzie’s post on love in response to jono’s amazing poem is here http://groups.google.com/ group/lent-adventure/browse_thread/thread/31152cffd1e12ca3. Listen to David Gray, ‘Real Love’ from A New Day at Midnight at iTunes, lyrics at http:// www.lyricsfreak.com/d/david+gray/real+love_20037227.html. all accessed today.
lent adventure Day 17 - spur At a crucial moment in Pierrette Fleutiaux’s Histoire de la chauve-souris (The Story of the Bat) the heroine dreams she is being stabbed in the back, only to realise on waking that she is being dug out of a snowdrift where she has fallen asleep. At moments in my life I have felt like this heroine. A ‘stab’ of bad news brings about a sense of horror, only to find that in some way, it is a ‘spur’ out of my sleep and on to new and often deeper things. Margaret Wheatley describes just such a moment for the life on our planet, two billion years ago when the rise of oxygen levels posed a threat to the existing organisms: ‘“In one of the greatest coups of all time [...] the blue-green bacteria invented a metabolic system that required the very substance that had been a deadly poison.” These bacteria reacted to the changed environment and developed the process of using oxygen for respiration. They invented breathing as we know it.’ Wheatley asks ‘could we take what feels like threat and alter its role in our life?’ This is not an easy subject. Most of us have had times in our lives of unimaginable pain. There is no ‘thinking away’ the pain of grief, physical suffering or betrayal. Perhaps the only thing we can do at the moment is let this question sit there. But over time perhaps it can become a friend and help to allow us to see new ways of being in the hard times, as well as in the happy ones. Reflection Sit quietly for a moment. Where has pain sometimes produced greater life and depth for you? This does not mean that you have to do some kind of retrospective rationalisation to make the pain ‘a good thing, after all’, but that you become more able to hold together both the reality of the pain and the potential depth/life that might have been part of the experience. Action Take one small step to collaborate in transforming pain into a spur to a deeper way of being. For example, you might allow pain in a friendship to encourage you to nurture and encourage other friends. You might used the enforced rest because of physical pain to read and become strengthened for what lies at the other side of that suffering. You might use the ‘stab’ of financial pain to spur you to action in a new area of creativity. If you feel you can share this, then please do spur us all on into new ways of being at http://groups.google.com/group/lent-adventure .
Elizabeth References Pierrette Fleutiaux, Histoire de la chauve-souris (Paris: Gallimard, 1989), pp. 146-7. Margaret Wheatley, A Simpler Way, (San Francisco: Berrett-Koehler, 1996, 1999), p. 91. Wheatley quotes from Lynn Margulis and Dorion Sagan, Microcosmos: Four Billion Years of Evolution from our Microbial Ancestors (New York: Summit Books, 1986), p. 109.
lent adventure Day 27* - quantity A class of ceramics students were divided into two groups by their teacher. One group were to be graded on quantity of works produced in the time allotted, the other on quality. It turned out that the ‘quantity’ group in fact also made the works judged the best quality! David Bayles and Ted Orland conclude: ‘While the ‘quantity’ group was busy churning out piles of work - and learning from their mistakes - the ‘quality’ group had sat theorizing about perfection, and in the end had little more to show for their efforts than grandiose theories and a pile of dead clay.’ Reflection Where does perfectionism hold you back from contributing? Where do you need to just ‘get your hands dirty’ and start? It might not be that the contribution is a ‘thing’; it might just be you letting down a facade and living more true to your deep self; contributing your true presence, if you like. Action As an experiment, relax your inner quality controller, go for quantity. It might be writing, speaking up in public, playing a musical instrument, holding a party or event, giving feedback to junior staff, saying what you really feel, cooking for friends, trying out a new business idea on a small scale, leading a group, learning a skill you’ve wanted to learn (surfing, anyone?). See what happens, then come and tell us at http://groups.google.com/group/lentadventure. Olé to you, as Elizabeth Gilbert would say... Elizabeth References This story is taken from Rob Bell, Drops Like Stars (Grand Rapids, Michigan: Zondervan, 2009), pp. 106-7, which quotes David Bayles and Ted Orland Art and Fear (Santa Barbara: Capra Press, 1992), p. 29. If you missed seeing Gilbert’s talk, go to http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1q0_e7rOd7k. *No, it’s not ground-hog day, I just made a mistake; yesterday should have been Day 26! Sorry about that.
