Official Podcast Transcript - Bitly

Official Podcast Transcript Let’s Get Honest © 2018 Media Partners

Music ANNOUNCER Welcome to Media Partners, Learning Essentials Podcast, delivering engaging content on relevant workplace topics, so you can become the best version of yourself at work. Music PAMELA – PODCAST HOST We’ve all followed the recent news of high-profile Network executives, Hollywood celebrities, TV stars, and other high-powered businesspeople who lost their jobs and their reputations due to egregious acts of sexual harassment. On an almost daily basis, new victims came forward, recounting the graphic details of requests for sexual favors and other sexual misconduct by managers or people in a position to impact their job or career. With this spotlight on sexual harassment, employers and employees alike are asking what they can do to make sure their work environment is free of sexual harassment. The answer? A harassment-free work environment begins with you. Hi. My name is Pamela. I am your host for this podcast. Today we are bringing you the audio version of Let’s Get Honest, a candid and straightforward program about sexual harassment, and what you can do to stop it. Although not all inappropriate conduct is illegal harassment, it’s always unacceptable for the workplace. This podcast provides honest and practical solutions to a variety of workplace issues ranging from flirting to clueless behavior and illegal, predatory harassment. Our program opens with an honest look at sexuality in our society. Music MALE NARRATOR Let’s talk about two things that seem to be moving in opposite directions: sex and work. In one direction, sexuality is in high gear. It’s in every other TV show, movie, and magazine. And, we won’t even mention the Internet. It’s used to sell everything from chocolate to brake fluid. Like it or not, our culture’s sex drive is full speed ahead. But, step in the other direction, step inside the door at work, and it all better come to a crashing halt. At least that’s the theory. PAMELA – PODCAST HOST So, how do you put your sexuality on hold when you walk into work? Is it possible to simply "check it" at the door? Let’s join our program host as he explores this question, and the reactions he gets from employees who work in a variety of industries. MALE NARRATOR How do you put your sexuality on hold when you walk into work? We generally get three reactions to this question. Reaction number 1 goes something like: We hear from a diverse group of employees from various industries. Employee 1: I don’t like the question. I’m not responding to that. My private life. Employee 2: My private life. Employee 1: My private life is none of your business.

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Employee 2: That’s none of your business. MALE NARRATOR Reaction 1. My private life is none of your business. Reaction 2 is more like: Employee 3: My Sexuality? I barely have time for a social life. If I can’t flirt at work, Employee 4: if I can’t flirt at work Employee 3: I got nothing. MALE NARRATOR Reaction 2. What’s wrong with a little flirting? And Reaction 3. Employee 3: Why should I put anything on hold? I am who I am. Employee 4: I am who I am. Many Voices: Take it or leave it. MALE NARRATOR I am who I am. Take it or leave it. Music PAMELA – PODCAST HOST Those are all honest reactions, right? So, what about you? How do you put your sexuality on hold when you walk into work? In our sexuallycharged culture, it’s not easy. Let’s explore each reaction in more detail. Starting with the third response: "I am who I am." On the surface, “I am who I am, take it or leave it” is an honest, straight-forward way to live. But does that mean you never change your behavior? You never edit what you say or do to avoid offending others? Imagine a preschool classroom. Young children are laughing and playing around the room. At the entrance, a handyman is hammering loudly repairing a door frame. But when he misses… The Handyman smashes his thumb. In great pain, he screams: Yaaaahhhgaahhhh!. SON… OF …. The started children immediately stop what they are doing. All eyes turn to the handyman who stares back at the room full of innocent faces… Handyman: …a…a..…big… gorilla! The kids laugh and play again. MALE NARRATOR Most of us instinctively adjust our behavior to fit our surroundings. We filter what we say and do.

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PAMELA – PODCAST HOST Most of us that is. The setting of our next scene is a quiet and solemn graveside funeral service. Family members are gathered around their departed loved one. Muffled crying can be heard as the minister delivers the eulogy. Then, something else can be heard… Woman talking loudly on phone: Hello. Oh, hey what’s up with you? What? Oh, no, no, nothing, really. It’s just a family thing. It’s no big deal. PAMELA – PODCAST HOST An outrageous example? Ring, ring, ring…. Ring, ring. A woman answers her phone, and speaks loudly: Are you kidding? I don’t know half these people… PAMELA – PODCAST HOST Sure. But, we all know people who are missing some critical social filter. They seem to be unaware of where they are or who they’re with. Whatever pops into their head comes straight out of their mouth. MALE NARRATOR Filters are a natural part of life as a social human being. At work, these same filters are the key to putting our sexuality on hold and showing respect to others. PAMELA – PODCAST HOST Social filters help us navigate the world and allow us to interact with people of different backgrounds, ages, and belief systems with respect and dignity. Work filters help us keep our words and actions respectful in the workplace. The next two scenes describe the first of two work filters we present in this program. In the first scene, a man is sitting at his computer in his office cubicle. Checking again to be sure he is alone, he begins to compose an email. Subject line reads: "You’re not going to believe this!” MALE NARRATOR Let’s say someone you work with would enjoy a suggestive cartoon or email, before you send it, ask yourself, would I send this to my grandma? PAMELA – PODCAST HOST Before he clicks “send,” he senses eyes peering over his shoulder. It's his disapproving grandmother, who takes immediate action. His shocked grandmother pummels him with her pocket book. We hear him respond with Ouch, ouch…ah, (erase, erase, backspace, backspace…) MALE NARRATOR This is appropriately called the Grandma Filter.

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PAMELA – PODCAST HOST While our Grandmas aren’t literally in our workplace, ready to discipline with a rap of their pocketbook if we say or do something inappropriate, the Grandma Filter is a great way to remind us to keep our actions polite and respectful at work. Even compliments should be subjected to the Grandma Filter. A female employee is walking down a long hallway. A male co-worker looks up and notices her. MALE NARRATOR Let’s say you think someone you work with looks particularly attractive one day. Rather than offering a suggestive remark about your coworkers body, ask yourself, “How would I compliment my Grandma?” Music Employee: That’s a pretty outfit. The female employee transforms into the man’s Grandma: Why thank you sweetheart. It was on sale. MALE NARRATOR See how it works? Compliment someone’s fashion, not their body. Or better yet, compliment their work rather than their appearance. When in doubt, ask yourself: Grandma: Would you say that to your grandma? Grandma 2: If the answer is “no” Grandma 3: don’t say it, Grandma 4: don’t send it, Grandma: or do it. Grandma 2: Because you know better. MALE NARRATOR You are who you are. Maybe you can’t control how you think but with your Grandma Filter, you have complete control on how you interact with others’ at work. PAMELA – PODCAST HOST Reaction 3: I am who I am may be honest, but it has no place in a respectful work setting. Now, let’s take a look at Reaction Number 2: What’s wrong with a little flirting? MALE NARRATOR It’s true that the friendships we make at work are often the best part of the job. The problem comes when friendship turns into flirting. What starts out as harmless fun, can turn into something very different. PAMELA – PODCAST HOST It’s important to understand flirting at work and flirting in life. Our next two scenes contrast the difference. The first scene is set in a lively house party. From opposite sides of the room, Jeremy and Kim make eye contact. After a moment of smiling. Jeremy makes his way through the crowd to say "hi."

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MALE NARRATOR That’s Jeremy, 26, single, looking for love. Jeremy: Hey, I'm Jeremy. Kim: Kim. MALE NARRATOR That’s Kim, 22, single, not interested. But that’s not going to stop Jeremy from trying. And why not? It’s a party. No harm; no foul. Flirting is nothing more than a small sexual advance. At a party, it’s reasonable to assume that sexual advances may come with the territory. If the advance goes too far, the offended person can just walk away or leave the party altogether. PAMELA – PODCAST HOST And that’s exactly what Kim does. When Jeremy leans in and whispers something in her ear, he doesn't quite get the reaction he was hoping for. An offended Kim pulls back and throws her drink at him. Then, she walks away. At work, we don’t have that choice. Walking away is a temporary solution. And, we can’t leave. We need to earn a living. So, what would happen if Jeremy came on to Kim at work? That plays out in our next scene. Jeremy and Kim are co-workers at a Rental Car Agency. Kim is working the counter and Jeremy approaches after her customer leaves. Jeremy: How's it going, beautiful? Kim (a bit uneasy): Fine. Jeremy: Are you uncomfortable with the fact that you're beautiful? Kim (hesitates, then responds): Do…do you have a work—related question? Jeremy: As a matter of fact, I know you’re new here so you must have a lot of questions. So let me answer a few right off the bat: Yes, I am single. Yes, I do workout. And yes, I normally…. Kim is very uncomfortable now. Shaken, she turns to help a new customer. MALE NARRATOR At work, sexual advances are not part of the job description. When they’re unwelcome, there’s no escape. That can lead to what the law calls a hostile work environment. That happens when there’s a pattern of unwelcome sexual behavior that interferes with work. PAMELA – PODCAST HOST Some might argue that Kim should be flattered and just say thank you. But, maybe Jeremy has repeatedly hit on her and she is uncomfortable, or embarrassed. She just wants him to stop. It's important to mention, that not all playful compliments, flirtatious comments, or even sexually suggestive remarks are illegal based on the courts’ definition of hostile work environment sexual harassment. But, any conduct of a sexual nature is always inappropriate. And it doesn’t matter what the intention was. MALE NARRATOR If Jeremy’s name comes up on a sexual harassment complaint he just went from being a valued employee, to a potential liability.

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Jeremy approaches Kim the next day in the company break room: Good morning. Don't you look fine. Just imagine what our kids will look like… MALE NARRATOR But is that fair? Maybe Jeremy was just trying too hard to get a date. Maybe he thought he was complimenting Kim. What’s wrong with that? At a party, nothing. At work, no means no, the first time. PAMELA – PODCAST HOST “No” means “no” the first time. Had Jeremy followed that advice, things would have turned out differently. Let’s listen as our program host again contrasts the party and the workplace—and then hear what Kim's manager has to say about the situation. MALE NARRATOR Going back to our party for a moment if this were a company celebration or any kind of officially sanctioned work event, then this is work. The rules for the workplace apply completely. But in this case, it is just a party. So, what’s the worst that can happen? A wet shirt? A few loose teeth? At work it goes in a very different direction. Kim meets with her manager in private. Kim: I'm not exactly sure what to do about this but, there's a guy on my shift who won't stop hitting on me. And it's starting to get really weird. Manager: Can you tell me who it is? Kim: I don't want to get him in trouble, l just want him to leave me alone. PAMELA – PODCAST HOST If you feel you are being harassed, or if someone’s conduct is making you feel uncomfortable, you have a very powerful recourse…Speak up! If you’re comfortable doing so, tell the person who’s bothering you to stop. If you've tried, or if you're not comfortable, speak to a manager or to Human Resources. As Kim and Jeremy both learn, employers have a responsibility to handle complaints immediately. Manager: Kim, we take this very seriously and it's my job to do what I can to stop this from happening. It's important that I know his name. Kim: It's Jeremy. PAMELA – PODCAST HOST Your manager and Human Resources have a legal obligation to stop any potential harassment. They also want to maintain a respectful working environment for all employees. So, they will meet with each person, separately and in private, to gather information and investigate the complaint. The manager meets with Jeremy in private. Manager: Jeremy, did you ask Kim out after she told you she's not interested? Jeremy: Not really. Manager: What do you mean? Jeremy: I mean, I haven't asked her to a certain concert or movie or something.

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MALE NARRATOR At work, clueless is no excuse. All that matters is what the law calls "a reasonable person" standard or "a reasonable woman" standard. In other words, the courts only want to know how Kim, a reasonable woman, interpreted Jeremy’s actions. His intentions, however clueless, are no excuse. What’s wrong with a little flirting? At work, sexual advances, flirting, and innuendoes can blow up in your face. PAMELA – PODCAST HOST They can cost you your friendships. And, if they create a hostile work environment, they can cost you your job. We suggest you avoid flirting at work altogether. Instead – to address the question: "How do you put your sexuality on hold at work?" – consider reaction number 1: Keep your private life private—especially the sexual side of your private life. In a perfect world that would solve everything. MALE NARRATOR But what do you do when your co-workers don’t believe in keeping their private life private? Farley approaches his co-workers: Alright, so just go ahead. Go ahead and ask me why I haven’t slept since Saturday night. Huh? His co-workers look at each other and roll their eyes. MALE NARRATOR Or you observe them asking others about things which are clearly out of line? Fiona notices her co-worker enter the cafeteria: Hey there, newlywed; welcome back. So, was it worth the wait? Hm? MALE NARRATOR The answer in situations like these is the key to solving all sexual harassment and it begins with two words: speak up. Farley’s Coworker: Hey, Farley, give us a break, all right? Nobody really wants to hear about it. Farley’s Coworker 2: Yeah, I just ate. Farley: What? Oh come on, you guys love it! Farley’s Coworker: No, seriously, we don’t. Farley’s Coworker 2: Wrong time, wrong place. Okay? Farley: Why are you guys so uptight today, man? Farley’s Coworker: We’re just trying to be honest. Farley: Whatever. PAMELA – PODCAST HOST Speaking up takes courage. But, it’s the key to stopping harassment of any kind. In the future, Farley will likely think twice before sharing details about his sex life, or discussing anything of a sexual nature with his co-workers. But, you don’t always have to be the recipient of the inappropriate conduct to speak up. In the hospital café, it’s a co-worker who speaks up when she witnesses Fiona’s inappropriate questions and teasing.

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Fiona: Don't be shy. We want all the juicy details. Susan, a co-worker sitting with Fiona: No, we don't. Fiona: Yes, we do! Come on, I'd tell you. Oh, what's there to be ashamed of? You're married now. Susan: Fiona, that's none of your business. What are you doing? Fiona: Come on Sue, I'm just kidding. Susan: Well, it doesn't come across that way. It comes across as being rude. Fiona: Rude? (Fiona turns to Tamara, the newlywed and asks) Tamara, do you... MALE NARRATOR Just because you may be comfortable mixing your private life with your work life don’t assume everyone is. PAMELA – PODCAST HOST Instead, consider filtering your actions. Like the Grandma filter, the Business Filter helps you think before you speak or act. The Business Filter— or if it’s not about business, it’s none of your business—stops inappropriate conversation. If Farley and Fiona had filtered their actions, they wouldn’t have expressed their questions and comments. Speak up when you see or experience inappropriate conduct. And filter your behaviors using the Grandma filter and the Business filter to help create and maintain a respectful workplace. PAMELA – PODCAST HOST Next, we’re going to take a closer look at sexual harassment. There are basically two types of harassers. Both can be stopped by speaking up. In our next scene, we meet the first type: the clueless. Marc works in a warehouse with Sylvia and he has trouble keeping his eyes on her eyes when they’re talking. Kevin, a co-worker, watches their interaction and approaches Marc in private. Marc: Hey, Sylvia? Do you think you could work a couple hours overtime tonight? From across the aisle, Kevin, a co-worker, watches their interaction and when Sylvia leaves, he approaches Marc in private. MALE NARRATOR You may know a clueless coworker and for the most part, like them. Kevin: Marc, hey, ready for the meeting? MALE NARRATOR But if they offend you or you know they’re offending others, get honest and speak up. They deserve a chance to fix their own mistakes. Kevin (concerned): Marc, do you realize how often you glance down at Sylvia's chest when you're talking with her? Marc (clueless): What, you mean, I'm busted. Get it? Kevin: Are you aware of what could happen if she files a complaint? It bothers her. I've watched her face when you do it. Marc (worried): You really think she'd file a complaint? Kevin: That's not the point. It offends her. That’s not what you want is it?

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Marc: No. Kevin: I didn’t think so. Next time keep her eyes on her eyes. Okay? Marc: Okay. Kevin: And yes, I think she could file a complaint. PAMELA – PODCAST HOST The clueless need to get a clue. If you’re not comfortable doing that, make sure you speak to a supervisor and let them do it for you. And, if you witness inappropriate conduct like Kevin did in this scene, speak up. Be an upstander, not just a bystander. Kevin pulled Marc aside and set him straight. Kevin could also talk to Sylvia and let her know he saw what happened and that it’s not okay. There’s a second kind of harasser who’s far from clueless – the Predator. They enjoy offending, intimidating, and victimizing people. They use power and control tactics to get what they want. Often, they are in a position of authority and they can influence your job. Many of the sexual harassment allegations in the news lately have to do with this type of harasser. Unlike the clueless, predators know exactly what they are doing. The next scene illustrates how calculating a predator can be. A female employee is alone in an elevator when a company executive steps on. She is visibly uncomfortable by his physical presence and what he says to her. Executive: Ahhh, alone at last. What's that perfume you're wearing? It really does it for me. But I suppose all that's a part of your little tease, isn't it?...those shoes….the way that you dress…. MALE NARRATOR Predators don’t need to get a clue, they just need to get gone. Your company wants these kinds of employees gone as much as you do. They want you to work where you feel safe and respected. Predators sometimes use threats or power for sexual favors. This is called "quid pro quo" harassment; it literally means "this for that." And it’s clearly illegal. PAMELA – PODCAST HOST While a pattern of unwanted sexual conduct can create a hostile work environment, it takes only one instance of quid pro quo to be illegal. In the next two scenes, we see quid pro quo and the imbalance of power that exists between a manager and the employee. The first scene is set in the men’s department of a retail store. An employee is working on a display when his manager approaches him. Manager: Did you get my note? Ricky: I think you've got the wrong idea about me. Manager: I don't think so, Ricky. I've seen you look at me. I know your little secret, and I'm good at keeping secrets. Besides, I'm not talking about a long-term thing here. It’s just about a little fun. What's wrong with that? Ricky: What's wrong is that I'm not interested in seeing you. So, please just drop it. I mean, we work together, let's just keep it that way. Manager: No, actually, you work for me. PAMELA – PODCAST HOST Unlike the previous two scenes, in which the predator approached the employee without witnesses, this next scene shows us that sometimes, other employees know exactly what’s going on.

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Let me set the scene for you: Kenny is a young, attractive new hire who is called into his manager’s office to discuss a financial report. Knock on the door. Kenny: You wanted to see me? Manager: Ah yes, come in, and um close the door. Kenny closes the door and takes a seat across from his manager. Kenny: I got the Johnson report you were looking for. I was looking at the figures and if you look at… Manager (interrupting): So, how are you liking it here so far Kenny? Is everything going well? Kenny: Sure. I’m really enjoying the new challenge. (back to his report) So, the figures I was looking at earlier... Manager: Um, can I tell you something in confidence? Kenny: Sure. Manager: I find you very attractive. Kenny: Um.(with uncomfortable laughter) Thank you? Manager: Do you consider me attractive? Kenny: Sure. Manager: Well, what type of woman are you attracted to? Kenny: Um…

PAMELA – PODCAST HOST Charlene and Mike are working in the common area outside their managers office. They suspect what’s going on. Charlene: How long has he been in there? Mike: Probably feels like forever. I remember my first few weeks on the job. She really doesn't take a hint. Charlene: Something’s got to be done about it. It’s just not right. PAMELA – PODCAST HOST What do you think of Charlene’s reaction? She’s not going to keep quiet. Predators and abusers count on silence from witnesses as well as their victims. So, if you witness inappropriate conduct, say something. And, if you experience anything that makes you feel uncomfortable, speak up. Go to your supervisor, another manager, or your Human Resources Department. Each of us has a responsibility to help create a respectful work environment. And, always make sure your behaviors are professional and appropriate for work. MALE NARRATOR When it comes to sexual harassment, it’s time to get honest. So, speak up. You deserve to work where you feel safe and respected. To summarize, we hear from a variety of characters from the podcast… Grandma: So, be on your best behavior at work. Handyman: Filter your language for those around you. Woman on her phone at the funeral: Some conversations are better left private. Manager: Use your Grandma filter to keep your words and actions polite and respectful. And when in doubt, just keep your mouth shut.

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Grandma: Because you know better. Jeremy: And when it comes to flirting, no means no, the first time. Your intentions, however clueless, are no excuse. Kim: What matters is how a reasonable person could interpret your actions. Fiona: And if it's not about business, it's none of your business. Susan: Let your coworkers decide what personal information they want to share. Farley: In the same way, don't assume everyone wants to hear about yours. Employee: And keep your private life private especially the sexual side of your private life. MALE NARRATOR We all deserve a safe and respectful place to work. PAMELA – PODCAST HOST It is our sincere hope that when more people get honest and speak up, respect will be valued more highly in the workplace and sexual harassment will become a thing of the past. If you enjoyed this podcast and you’re interested in the film version, or our Sexual Harassment Employee Handbook—"Practical Answers to Tough Questions,” please go to www.mediapartners.com. Thanks for listening and have a great day! Music ANNOUNCER Media Partners is the leading provider of original, high-quality training films and learning content. With captivating content that engages employees, you can raise awareness and change behavior. For more information about other Media Partners programs, please go to www.mediapartners.com.

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