Feb 22, 2000 ... based on Claudia Black's book, It Will Never Happen to Me. Responsible One (
usually first born child) “In the midst of chaos, I'll do it/take care ...
MOUNT HOLYOKE COLLEGE ALCOHOL AND DRUG AWARENESS PROJECT ROLE RESPONSES OF CHILDREN FROM ALCOHOLIC FAMILIES based on Claudia Black’s book, It Will Never Happen to Me
Responsible One (usually first born child) “In the midst of chaos, I’ll do it/take care of it!”
As Child 1. Takes on extra responsibilities in the family (prepares all the meals, takes care of younger children, etc.) 2. Does well in school 3. Admired for being so adult – mature and reliable beyond years.
As Adult 1. Little reason to change – leadership roles, survivors, super responsible, highly organized. 2. Unable to relax, play; increased anxiety, rigid behavior. 3. Difficulty in intimate relationships – unable to be interdependent. Fear of letting go of control = dependency.
4. Acquires sense of stability and control in one’s life. 5. Self-reliant as it becomes apparent adults are not reliable or responsive emotionally. Alcohol – help to relax.
Adjuster “In the midst of chaos, I ignore it.” As Child As Adult 1. Adapts to family situation by detaching. 1. No sense of personal direction or control. 2. Adjusts to the situation – goes along with 2. Spontaneous behavior. what will cause least conflict. 3. Doesn’t make decisions based on own 3. Easily bored, moves around a lot. needs. 4. Has little sense of own needs. 4. Difficulty making decisions. 5. Under-responsible. 5. Feels inadequate as result of above. Alcohol – relieves boredom and feelings of inadequacy.
2c:\usr\acoa\role responses 2/22/00
1
Placater “In the midst of chaos, I’ll fix it and make it better.” As Child 1. Popular kid. 2. Sensitive and perceptive – focusing on others’ needs and smoothing things over, will say “I’m sorry” to make situation better. 3. Emotional over-functioner will “take care” of everyone’s feelings.
As Adult 1. Continue to focus on others’ needs. 2. Unable to talk about themselves easily.
3. Gravitate towards helping professions.
4. Conflict resolvers. Alcohol – helps them to be more assertive and talk about themselves.
Acting out Child (most rare role) “In the midst of chaos, I draw attention by creating my own chaos.” As Child 1. Feels hurt and guilty.
As Adult 1. Continues to act out the conflict in their lives. 2. Aware of anger, but not other feelings. 3. Chooses a similar peer group.
2. Acts out anger. 3. Negative attention takes focus off the alcoholic. Alcohol – feels less conflict.
