ROMANTIC LOVE - CHARACTERISTICS AND EFFECTS
Esther before Ahasuerus. Franciszek Smuglewicz. 1778.
Unique Medical Research in Biblical Times from the Viewpoint of Contemporary Perspective Examination of Passages from the Bible, Exactly as Written
Liubov Ben-Nun, M.D., M.S. Professor Emeritus at Ben Gurion University of the Negev, Faculty of Health Sciences, Beer-Sheva, Israel.
NOT FOR SALE
Romantic love has been explored for centuries revealing multiple emotions and feelings related to this phenomenon. Romantic relationship, a widespread feature of human society, is one of the most influential factors in daily life. Love is a complex emotion. It is never a single feeling, an ambition, moral commitment, a private dynamic struggle, a deal, and a stop sign to psychological inquiry. A systematic approach to the study of the development of romantic relationships might enhance our understanding of the nature of social relationships, and the links between social relationships and individual psychosocial functioning. Is romantic love described in the Bible? The Biblical texts were examined and verses that describe love between a man and a woman were studied closely from a contemporary perspective.
Author: Dr. Liubov Ben-Nun, Specialist of Family Medicine, Professor Emeritus at Ben Gurion University of the Negev, Faculty of Health Sciences, Beer-Sheva, Israel.
97th Book Published by : B.N. Publication House. Israel. 2017. E-Mail:
[email protected] Technical Assistance: Ilana Siscal All rights reserved
NOT FOR SALE 2
CONTENTS FOREWORD INTRODUCTION DESCRIPTIONS OF LOVE IN THE BIBLE ROMANCE TRIANGULAR THEORY OF LOVE NEUROBIOLOGY OF LOVE REJECTION OF LOVE GENDER DIFFERENCES ATTACHMENT PATTERNS PHYSICAL ATTRACTIVENESS REALITY AND ILLUSION PASSIONATE LOVE PARTNER SELECTION FAMILY INVOLVEMENT ADOLESCENCE ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS MOTHERS' ROMANTIC LOVE REGULATIONS OF FEELINGS/EMOTIONS ENHANCED APPRAISALS SEXUAL DESIRE PERSONALITY PROBLEMATIC BEHAVIOR LOVE ADDICTION PATHOLOGICAL LOVE ROMANTIC PERCEPTIONS SUMMARY
5 7 9 14 17 20 31 33 37 44 46 48 52 55 61 70 72 76 78 86 90 92 96 98 101
ABBREVIATIONS AAI BDNF BPD CI CP fMRI HAB HIV IAS IAT LPP MPQ NGF NT OR rsfMRI SD SEM SSRT STI VTA
Adult Attachment Interview Brain-derived neurotrophic factor Borderline Personality Disorder Confidence intervals Cerebral palsy Functional magnetic resonance imaging Hostile-aggressive behavior Human immunodeficiency virus Infatuation and Attachment Scale Implicit Association Test
Late positive potential Multidimensional Personality Questionnaire Nerve growth factor Neurotrophin Odds ratio Resting state functional magnetic resonance imaging Standard deviation Structural equation modeling Shorter stop-signal reaction time Sexually transmitted illness Ventral tegmental area
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FOREWORD Romantic love has been explored for centuries revealing multiple emotions and feelings related to this phenomenon. Scientific efforts to understand love begin in the mid-twentieth century and greatly advanced the topic in the past few decades. Several instruments measuring love are developed. They are still, however, limited in their scope. Love's emotional complexity is explored through discourse analysis of romantic narratives and the constructs identified in those narratives are applied to the reality of love relationships. The discourse analysis of quotes selected from a representative sample of romantic narratives leads to a comprehensive set of items measuring the variety of love constructs. Additionally, utilizing 498 participants of various ages, the diversity of love constructs and their architecture is empirically explored. Constructs to the arena of love research are brought. A hierarchical cluster analysis allows depicting these dimensions in varying models. Mental representations of love structures vary depending on the participants' mental complexity and other factors (1). Seven interlocking meanings of the term love are synthesis based on years of trying to understand what people mean by the word and why they are not more explicit in explaining themselves during psychotherapy. The meanings may help clinicians better grasp what seems to be the most basic context for understanding a person's sexual life. Love perhaps is a complex emotion - it is never a single feeling; an ambition; moral commitment; a private dynamic struggle; a deal; a stop sign to psychological inquiry. There are forces in culture and within individuals which resist careful scrutiny of what we mean by love (2). A thesis containing three interconnected propositions is evaluated. First, romantic love is a "commitment device" for motivating pair-bonding in humans. Second, pair-bonding facilitates the idiosyncratic life history of hominins, helping to provide the massive investment required to rear children. Third, managing longterm pair bonds (along with family relationships) facilitates the evolution of social intelligence and cooperative skills. This thesis is evaluated by integrating evidence from a broad range of scientific disciplines. Consistent with the claim that romantic love is an evolved commitment device, love is universal; suppresses mate-
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search mechanisms; has specific behavioral, hormonal, and neuropsychological signatures; and is linked to better health and survival. Challenges to this thesis are posed by the existence of arranged marriage, polygyny, divorce, and infidelity. The intimate relationship mind seems to be built to regulate and monitor relationships. Comparative evidence is reviewed concerning links among mating systems, reproductive biology, and brain size. Evidence indicates the evolutionary timing of shifts to pair-bonding in hominins. Thus, there is interdisciplinary support for the claim that romantic love and pair-bonding, along with alloparenting, play critical roles in the evolution of Homo sapiens (3). A systematic approach to the study of the development of romantic relationships may enhance our understanding of the nature of social relationships, and the links between social relationships and individual psychosocial functioning. A selected literature review is provided on the normative development of romantic relationships during adolescence, antecedents of different romantic involvement pathways, and positive and negative qualities of these relationships. The focus is placed on the how the development of romantic relationships occurs within existing systems of relationships including peer networks and close friendships. The development of romantic relationships may change the peer network and nature of relationships with friends and others, and particular types of transitions in social relationships will likely occur. The timing of these transitions and an understanding of the entire peer system as romantic relationships develop will likely improve our understanding of individual developmental processes such as identity formation and the development of externalizing and internalizing problems. It is proposed that adolescents are faced with a complicated task that includes developing romantic interests and relationships but managing their changing social networks (4). It is vitally important that psychotherapists bring a strong understanding of the nature of love to their work with the many clients who are struggling, in one way or another, with love relationships. With this in mind, two purposes are accomplished. The first of these is to provide an adequate answer to an old and perplexing question: "What is romantic love?," and to do so in a way that illuminates why this one relationship possesses the extraordinary importance and centrality in human existence that it so
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clearly does. The second is to identify and discuss the most common barriers to persons being able to love that are encountered in clinical practice (5). References 1. Karandashev V, Clapp S. Multidimensional Architecture of Love: From Romantic Narratives to Psychometrics. J Psycholinguist Res. 2015;44(6):675-99. 2. Levine SB. What is love anyway? J Sex Marital Ther. 2005;31(2):143-51. 3. Fletcher GJ, Simpson JA, Campbell L, Overall NC. Pair-bonding, romantic love, and evolution: the curious case of Homo sapiens. Perspect Psychol Sci. 2015; 10(1):20-36. 4. Zimmer-Gembeck MJ. The development of romantic relationships and adaptations in the system of peer relationships. J Adolesc Health. 2002;31(6 Suppl):216-25. 5. Bergner RM. Love and barriers to love. An analysis for psychotherapists and others. Am J Psychother. 2000;54(1):1-17.
INTRODUCTION Love feelings can be more intense than desired (e.g., after a break-up) or less intense than desired (e.g., in long-term relationships). If only we could control our love feelings! The concept of explicit love regulation was presented, which was defined as the use of behavioral and cognitive strategies to change the intensity of current feelings of romantic love. The first two studies on preconceptions about strategies for, and the feasibility of love regulation were presented. Questionnaire responses showed that people perceived love feelings as somewhat uncontrollable. Still, in four open questions people reported to use strategies such as cognitive reappraisal, distraction, avoidance, and undertaking (new) activities to cope with break-ups, to maintain long-term relationships, and to regulate love feelings. Instructed up-regulation of love using reappraisal increased subjective feelings of attachment, while love down-regulation decreased subjective feelings of infatuation and attachment. The LPP amplitude as an objective index of regulation success was used. Instructed love up-regulation enhanced the LPP between 300-400 ms in participants who were involved in a relationship and in participants who had recently experienced a romantic break-up, while love down-regulation reduced the LPP between 700-3000 ms in participants who were involved in a
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relationship. These findings corroborated the self-reported feasibility of love regulation, although they were complicated by the finding that love up-regulation also reduced the LPP between 700-3000 ms in participants who were involved in a relationship. The data indicate that although people have the preconception that love feelings are uncontrollable, intentional regulation of love feelings using reappraisal, and perhaps other strategies, is feasible. Love regulation will benefit individuals and society because it could enhance positive effects and reduce negative effects of romantic love (1). The research literature and theory concerned with accuracy of judgments in romantic relationships were reviewed. A model of cognition in (romantic) relationships distinguished between 2 forms of accuracy: mean-level bias and tracking accuracy. The results of meta-analyses of research on heterosexual, romantic relationships used external benchmarks and reported levels of tracking accuracy (98 studies) and/or mean-level bias (48 studies). The results revealed robust overall effect sizes for both tracking accuracy (r = .47) and positive mean-level bias (r = .09). The effects were substantial and positive for tracking accuracy across 6 judgmental categories, whereas signed mean-level bias was negative for the interaction attributions (e.g., love, communication). These 2 forms of accuracy were independent - the 2 kinds of effect size derived from the same set of 38 studies are uncorrelated. Gender, relationship length, and relationship evaluations moderated mean-level bias across studies but (unexpectedly) not for tracking accuracy. The prior model was evaluated in light of the findings, other research, moderating variables (such as self-esteem), the role of projection, the early stages of mate selection, metacognition, and the rationality and nature of motivated cognition. The model findings and analyses help to resolve the apparent paradox that love is both riven with illusions and rooted in reality, and support both evolutionary and social psychological approaches to understanding cognition in romantic relationships (2). People make and break promises frequently in interpersonal relationships. These processes leading up to making promises and the processes involved in keeping them are investigated. Across 4 studies, people who have the most positive relationship feelings and who are most motivated to be responsive to the partner's needs make bigger promises than do other people but are not any better at
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keeping them. Instead, promises' self-regulation skills, such as trait conscientiousness, predict the extent to which promises are kept or broken. In a causal test of the hypotheses, participants who are focused on their feelings for their partner promise more, whereas participants who generate a plan of self-regulation follow through more on their promises. Thus, people are making promises for very different reasons (positive relationship feelings, and responsiveness motivation) than what make them keep these promises (selfregulation skills). Ironically, then, those who are most motivated to be responsive perhaps are most likely to break their romantic promises, as they are making ambitious commitments they will later be unable to keep (3). Thus, romantic love is a prevalent human behavior. Is romantic love described in the Bible? The Biblical texts were examined and verses that describe love between a man and a woman were studied closely from a contemporary perspective. Inclusion criteria were the verses in which the word love is mentioned. Exclusion criteria were verses describing love between man and man, and the descriptions of love in the Song of Songs. References 1. Langeslag SJ, van Strien JW. Regulation of romantic love feelings: preconceptions, strategies, and feasibility. PLoS One. 2016;11(8):e0161087. 2. Fletcher GJ, Kerr PS. Through the eyes of love: reality and illusion in intimate relationships. Psychol Bull. 2010;136(4):627-58. 3. Peetz J, Kammrath L. Only because I love you: why people make and why they break promises in romantic relationships. J Pers Soc Psychol. 2011;100(5):887-904.
DESCRIPTIONS OF LOVE IN THE BIBLE SAMSON AND DELILAH A wife of Manoah was barren, but one day she conceived, and so she "drink not wine nor strong drink, and eat not any unclean thing" (Judges 13:4). Subsequently "the woman bare a son, and called his name Samson; and the child grew…" (13:24). Samson was born with special strength in his hair that had not been cut since his birth "no raisor come on his head" (13:5). When he reached adulthood, Samson fell in love with a
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Philistine woman from Timnath. On his way to Timnath, Samsom killed a young lion with his bare hands (14:6). Later, Samson fell in love with Delilah “.. he loved a woman in the valley of Sorek, whose name was Delilah” (16:4).
Peter Paul Rubens - Samson and Delilah.
The Philistines came to Delilah with a special request to find out the source of Samson’s strength. After Delilah’s endless questionings, Samson was exhausted and was sick to death (16:16). In the end, Samson told Delilah his great secret “ ….if I be shaven, then my strength will go from me, and I shall become weak, and be like any other man. And she made him sleep upon his knees; and she called for a man; and she caused him to shave off the seven locks of his head; and she began to afflict him, and his strength went from him" (16:17,19). In spite of
Samson’s love, and the long period of time that they spent together, this woman betrayed him, disclosing his secret to Philistines. The great love ended in Delilah’s betrayal, leading to the great tragedy. Now the Philistines captured him, and his eyes were put out: (16:21). But, gradually his hair grew again: "the hair of his head began to grow again after he was shaven" (16:22). Samson, who had been chained to the middle pillars of the temple, pushed them apart, and caused the collapse of the building (17:27). Samson “ …bowed himself with all his-might; and the house fell upon the lords, and upon all the people” (16:30). Samson was strong, his behavior was aggressive, and his power was concentrated in his hair that had been left uncut since his birth.
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ISAAC AND REBECCA After the death of Isaac’s mother (Sarah), Abraham decided that Isaac would not marry a Cannanite woman “...shalt not take a wife unto my son of the daughters of the Canaanites, among whom he dwell” (Genesis 24:3). For this reason Abraham sent his servant (Eliezer) to Mesopotamia, to the city of Nahor, where he met Rebecca, “...who was born to Bethuel, son of Milcah, the wife of Nahor, Abraham’s brother” (24:15).
A Couple as Isaac and Rebecca, known as ‘The Jewish Bride’. Rembrandt Harmensz. van Rijn. c. 1665 - c. 1669.
Rebecca agreed to take Isaac to be her husband. Since Isaac and Rebecca were relatives, their marriage can be considered as a consanguineous. Later "And Isaac brought her into his mother Sarah's tent, and took Rebecca, and she became his wife; and he loved her;… " (Genesis 24:67).
MICHAL AND DAVID Michal a daughter of Saul, King of Israel, became the first wife of David, (1 Samuel 18:20–27) who later became King of Judah, and later the King of Israel. Michal loved David "Michal Saul's daughter loved him (David)" (18:28). Michal proves her love by her actions "Saul also sent messengers unto David's house, to watch him, and to slay him in the morning" (19:11). Here "So Michal let David down through a window: so he went, and fled, and escaped" (19):12.
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Gustave Doré. 1865.
JACOB AND RACHEL Jacob left his family and went to the household of Laban, his mother's brother "Jacob went out from Beer-sheva, and went toward Haran" (Genesis 28:10). Here, for the first time he met Rachel, a daughter of Laban "Rachel came with her father's sheep: for she kept them. Jacob kissed Rachel, and raised his voice, and wept. Jacob told Rachel that he was her father's brother, and that he was Rebecca's son" (29:9,11,12). Jacob was cordially welcomed by Laban's family "he.. (Laban) ran to meet him, and embraced him, and kissed him, and brought him to his house. Laban had two daughters: the name of the elder was Leah, and the name of the younger was Rachel. Leah was tender eyes, but Rachel was beautiful and well favoured" (29:13,16,17). Of the two daughters, Jacob loved Rachel "And Jacob loved Rachel…" (29:18) and therefore
worked seven years to marry Rachel.
Jacob meets Rachael at the well. William Dyce.
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PENINAH AND HANNAH Elkanah had two wives: Hannah and Peninnah. Their husband Elkanah loved Hannah very much: "..Elkanah offered, he gave to Peninnah his wife, and to all her sons and he daughters, portions. But unto Hannah he gave a worthy portion; for he loved Hannah". Peninnah had
children, but Hannah had no children (I Samuel 1:2), so she was very sad “…She wept, and did not eat, ....she was in bitterness of soul… and wept sore” (I Samuel 1:7,10) and “I am a woman of a sorrowful spirit” (1:15). Fortunately, one day “…Elkanah knew Hannah his wife…,…Hannah had conceived, that she bare a son, and called his name Samuel” (1:19,20). Later, Elkanah and Hannah had three sons and two daughters (2:21).
Peninnah (right) with Elkanah and Hannah as they return to Ramah.
KING AHASHVEROSH AND ESTHER This is the story of King Ahashverosh, who reigned in Persia and Midia. One day the King made a great feast in his kingdom, and invited his beautiful wife, Queen Vashti to attend the feast, but she refused. For this unacceptable, disobedient behavior Queen Vashti was punished by dismissal and a new queen was sought in the kingdom. “Now in Shushan the capital there was a certain Jew, whose name was Mordekhay...” (Esther 2:5). Mordekhay brought his beautiful adopted daughter Esther to the King’s house “And he (Mordekhay) brought up Hadassa, that is, Esther, his uncle’s daughter: for she had neither father nor mother, and the girl was fair and beautiful; and when her father and mother were dead Mordekhay took her for his own daughter” (2:7). Mordekhay forbade Esther to identify herself as a Jew “Esther had not made known her people of her descent: for Mordekhay had charged her that she should not tell” (2:10.
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Esther before Ahasuerus. Franc Kavčič. 1815.
Among all the young women brought to the King, he fell in love with Esther “... the king loved Esther more than all the women, and she obtained grace and favour in his sight more than all the virgins; so that he set the royal crown upon her head, and made her queen instead of Vashti” (2:17). Here Esther entered a new family system, this time as Queen.
Mordekhay discovered a plot of Bigthan and Teresh to assassinate the King. He “..told it to Esther the queen; and Esther reported it to the king in Mordekhay’s name” (2:22). This plot was confirmed and two men were executed. In this way Mordekhay expressed his loyalty to the King.
ROMANCE Romance is the expressive and pleasurable feeling from an emotional attraction towards another person often associated with sexual attraction. It is eros rather than agape, philia, or storge. In the context of romantic love relationships, romance usually implies an expression of one's strong romantic love, or one's deep and strong emotional desires to connect with another person intimately or romantically. The term "romance" originates in the medieval ideal of chivalry as set out in its chivalric romance literature (1).
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La Belle Dame sans Merc. 1893. John William Waterhouse. 1849-1917.
The debate over an exact definition of romantic love is perhaps found in literature as well as in the works of psychologists, philosophers, biochemists and other professionals and specialists. Romantic love is a relative term, but generally accepted as a definition that distinguishes moments and situations within intimate relationships with an individual contributing to a significant relationship connection (1). Psychologist Charles Lindholm defines love as "...an intense attraction that involves the idealization of the other, within an erotic context, with expectation of enduring sometime into the future" (2). The actual English word "romance" is developed from a vernacular dialect within the French language meaning "verse narrative", referring to the style of speech, writing, and artistic talents within elite classes. The word is originally an adverb of the Latin origin "Romanicus," meaning "of the Roman style." The word romance has also developed with other meanings in other languages such as the early nineteenth century Spanish and Italian definitions of "adventurous" and "passionate", sometimes combining the idea of "love affair" or "idealistic quality" (1). Before the 18th century, many marriages were not arranged, but rather developed out of more or less spontaneous relationships. After the 18th century, illicit relationships took on a more independent role. In Ladies of the Leisure Class, Rutgers University Professor Bonnie G. Smith depicts courtship and marriage rituals that are possibly viewed as oppressive to modern people. She writes "When the young women of the Nord marry, they do so without illusions of love and romance. They act within a framework of
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concern for the reproduction of bloodlines according to financial, professional, and sometimes political interests." Subsequent sexual revolution have lessened the conflicts arising out of liberalism, but not eliminated them (1). Anthony Giddens, in his book The Transformation of Intimacy: Sexuality, Love and Eroticism in Modern Society, states that romantic love introduces the idea of a narrative into an individual's life. He adds that telling a story is one of the meanings of romance. The rise of romantic love more or less coincides with the emergence of the novel. Romantic love, associated with freedom and therefore the ideals of romantic love, creates the ties between freedom and selfrealization (1). David R. Shumway, in his book Romance, Intimacy, and The Marriage Crisis states that the discourse of intimacy emerges in the last third of the 20th century and this discourse explains how marriage and other relationships works. For the discourse of intimacy emotional closeness is much more important than passion. This does not mean that intimacy is to replace romance. On the contrary, intimacy and romance coexists (3).
Bernger von Horheim in the Codex Manesse. Early 14th century.
Shumway also states that together with the growth of capitalism the older social relations dissolve, including marriage. Marriage meaning for women changes as they have more socially acceptable alternatives and are less willing to accept unhappy relations and, therefore, divorce rates substantially increase. The discourse of romance continues to exist today together with intimacy. Shumway states that on the one hand, romance is the part that offers adventure and intense emotions while offering the possibility to find
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the perfect mate. On the other hand, intimacy offers deep communication, friendship, and long lasting sharing (3). The 21st century has seen the growth of globalization and people live in a world of transformations that affect almost every aspect of lives, and love has not been the exception (1). References 1. Romance. Available 20 March 2016 at https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/ Romance_(love). 2. Smith DJ. Romance, parenthood, and gender in a modern African society. Ethnology. 2001;40:129-151. 3. Shumway David R. Romance, Intimacy, and the Marriage Crisis. 2003. ISBN 978-0-8147-9831-7.
TRIANGULAR THEORY OF LOVE Psychologist Robert Sternberg has developed the triangular theory of love (1). He theorizes that love is a combination of three main components: passion (physical arousal); intimacy (psychological feelings of closeness); and commitment (the sustaining of a relationship). He also mentions that the different combinations of these three components can yield up to seven different forms of love. These include popularized forms such as romantic love (intimacy and passion) and consummate love (passion, intimacy, and commitment). The other forms are liking (intimacy), companionate love (intimacy and commitment), empty love (commitment), fatuous love (passion and commitment), and infatuation (passion). Studies on Sternberg’s theory love have found that intimacy most strongly predicts marital satisfaction in married couples, with passion being an important predictor (2). On the other hand, Acker and Davis have found that this commitment is the strongest predictor of relationship satisfaction, especially for long-term relationships (3). The psychometric properties of an adolescent version of the 'triangular love scale' assessed three components of romantic relationships: intimacy, passion, and commitment. Using data from 435 Dutch adolescents aged 12-18 years, evidence was found for convergent validity, showing that dimensions of intimacy, passion, and commitment were all positively correlated with relationship satisfaction and duration. Evidence was also found for divergent
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validity, as adolescents' perceptions of the main (dis)advantages of being involved in romantic relationships showed a specific pattern of associations with intimacy, passion, and commitment. Confirmatory factor analysis in Linear Structural Relations demonstrated that a model in which all separate questionnaire items were specified to load on three underlying, correlated factors (intimacy, passion, and commitment) fitted the data adequately. Overall, this measure seems appropriate for use with adolescents (4). The Triangular Theory of Love has created much interest among researchers in relational communication. Previous attempts at evaluating the theory have proven problematic. Specifically, the problems centered on the measurement of the theory's three components of intimacy, passion, commitment. Recent research, which employed a new measure, offered support for the theory's primary assumptions. To expand upon this, the current study factor analyzed data from a sample of 213 married individuals. Results provided support for the triangular theory's primary assumptions. The principal components factor analysis with varimax rotation indicated support for three distinct and reliable factors. The three components were significantly related to scores for relational satisfaction. Each component was a significant predictor of relational satisfaction. Men scored significantly higher on intimacy than women (5). The current study tested the assumptions in the Triangular Theory of Love about changes in intimacy, passion, and commitment over time. Using a cross-sectional design, differences in the three components were examined among 446 romantically involved individuals who were either casually dating, exclusively dating, engaged, or married. In support for the assumptions in the Triangular Theory specifically, analyses indicated significant negative partial correlations between intimacy and relationship length as well as between passion and relationship length. The correlation between commitment and relationship length was significant and positive. One-way analysis of variance of relational stage gave similar results. Reported intimacy and passion scores were lowest for participants who were casually dating, higher for participants who were engaged, and lower for married participants. Reported commitment scores increased from casually dating participants to the married participants (6).
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The tests of the Triangular Theory of Love have proven problematic, specifically centered on measurement of the three components of Intimacy, Passion, and Commitment. Factor analysis of a new set of measures for 123 women and 110 men indicated support for three distinct factors. Sex differences showed that women were scored significantly higher on Intimacy and Commitment than men. Components were also significantly related to a measure of Relational Satisfaction. Each component predicted significant variance for scores on Satisfaction (7). ASSESSMENT: love is a combination of passion (physical arousal), intimacy (psychological feelings of closeness), and commitment (the sustaining of a relationship). Intimacy predicts marital satisfaction in married couples, with passion as an important predictor. Intimacy, passion, and commitment are correlated with relationship satisfaction and duration. There are negative partial correlations between intimacy and relationship length and between passion and relationship length. Women score higher on Intimacy and Commitment than men. The main components of the triangular theory of love can be attributed to the Biblical characters studied in this research. References 1. Sternberg RJ. A Triangular Theory of love. Psychol Rev. 1986;93:119–35. 2. Silberman, S. The relationships among love, marital satisfaction and duration of marriage. Doctoral dissertation. Arizona State University. 1995. 3. Acker M, Davis MH. Intimacy, passion and commitment in adult romantic relationships: a test of the triangular theory of love. J Soc Personal Relationships. 1992;9(1):21–50. 4. Overbeek G, Ha T, Scholte R, et al. Brief report: Intimacy, passion, and commitment in romantic relationships - validation of a 'triangular love scale' for adolescents. J Adolesc. 2007;30(3):523-8. 5. Lemieux R, Hale JL. Intimacy, passion, and commitment among married individuals: further testing of the triangular theory of love. Psychol Rep. 2000;87(3 Pt 1:941-8. 6. Lemieux R, Hale JL. Cross-sectional analysis of intimacy, passion, and commitment: testing the assumptions of the triangular theory of love. Psychol Rep. 2002;90(3 Pt 1):1009-14. 7. Lemieux R, Hale JL. Intimacy, passion, and commitment in young romantic relationships: successfully measuring the triangular theory of love. Psychol Rep. 1999;85(2):497-503.
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NEUROBIOLOGY OF LOVE Mammals and birds have evolved three primary, discrete, interrelated emotion-motivation systems in the brain for mating, reproduction, and parenting: lust, attraction, and male-female attachment. Each emotion-motivation system is associated with a specific constellation of neural correlates and a distinct behavioral repertoire. Lust evolves to initiate the mating process with any appropriate partner; attraction evolves to enable individuals to choose among and prefer specific mating partners, thereby conserving their mating time and energy; male-female attachment evolves to enable individuals to cooperate with a reproductive mate until species-specific parental duties have been completed. The evolution of these three emotion-motivation systems contributes to contemporary patterns of marriage, adultery, divorce, remarriage, stalking, homicide and other crimes of passion, and clinical depression due to romantic rejection. An ongoing project uses fMRI of the brain to investigate the neural circuits associated with one of these emotion-motivation systems, romantic attraction (1). Early-stage romantic love can induce euphoria, is a cross-cultural phenomenon, and is possibly a developed form of a mammalian drive to pursue preferred mates. It has an important influence on social behaviors that have reproductive and genetic consequences. To determine which reward and motivation systems were involved, fMRI imaging was used and 10 women and 7 men who were intensely "in love" from 1 to 17 months were examined. Participants alternately viewed a photograph of their beloved and a photograph of a familiar individual, interspersed with a distraction-attention task. Group activation specific to the beloved under the two control conditions occurred in dopamine-rich areas associated with mammalian reward and motivation, namely the right VTA and the right postero-dorsal body and medial caudate nucleus. Activation in the left VTA was correlated with facial attractiveness scores. Activation in the right anteromedial caudate was correlated with questionnaire scores that quantified intensity of romantic passion. In the left insula-putamenglobus pallidus, activation correlated with trait affect intensity. The results suggest that romantic love uses subcortical reward and motivation systems to focus on a specific individual, limbic cortical
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regions process individual emotion factors, and there is localization heterogeneity for reward functions in the human brain (2). Early-stage romantic love is associated with activation in reward and motivation systems of the brain. Can these localized activations, or others, predict long-term relationship stability? (3). Participants from a previous fMRI study of early-stage love after 40 months from initial assessments were contacted (4). Brain activation was compared during the initial assessment at early-stage love for those who were still together at 40 months and those who were apart, and surveyed those still together about their relationship happiness and commitment at 40 months. Six participants who were still with their partners at 40 months (compared to six who had broken up) showed less activation during early-stage love in the medial orbitofrontal cortex, right subcallosal cingulate and right accumbens, regions implicated in long-term love and relationship satisfaction. These regions of deactivation at the early stage of love were also negatively correlated with relationship happiness scores collected at 40 months. Other areas involved were the caudate tail, and temporal and parietal lobes. The data showed that neural responses in the early stages of romantic love can predict relationship stability and quality up to 40 months later in the relationship. The brain regions involved suggest that forebrain reward functions are predictive for relationship stability, as well as regions involved in social evaluation, emotional regulation, and mood (4). The neural correlates of long-term intense romantic love using fMRI were examined. Ten women and 7 men married an average of 21.4 years underwent fMRI while viewing facial images of their partner. Control images included a highly familiar acquaintance; a close, long-term friend; and a low-familiar person. Effects specific to the intensely loved, long-term partner were found in: 1] areas of the dopamine-rich reward and basal ganglia system, such as the VTA and dorsal striatum, consistent with results from early-stage romantic love studies; and 2] several regions implicated in maternal attachment, such as the globus pallidus, substantia nigra, Raphe nucleus, thalamus, insular cortex, anterior cingulate and posterior cingulate. Correlations of neural activity in regions of interest with widely used questionnaires showed: 1] VTA and caudate responses correlated with romantic love scores and inclusion of other in the self; 2] globus pallidus responses correlated with friendship-based
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love scores; 3] hypothalamus and posterior hippocampus responses correlated with sexual frequency; and 4] caudate, septum/fornix, posterior cingulate and posterior hippocampus responses correlated with obsession. Results suggest that for some individuals the rewardvalue associated with a long-term partner is perhaps sustained, similar to new love, involving brain systems implicated in attachment and pair-bonding (5). Throughout the ages, love has been defined as a motivated and goal-directed mechanism with explicit and implicit mechanisms. Evidence demonstrates that the explicit representation of love recruits subcorticocortical pathways mediated reward, emotion, and motivation systems. However, the neural basis of the implicit (unconscious) representation of love remains unknown. To assess this question, event-related fMRI was combined with a behavioral subliminal priming paradigm embedded in a lexical decision task. In this task, the name of a beloved partner, a neutral friend, or a passionate hobby was subliminally presented before a target stimulus (word, nonword, or blank), and participants were required to decide if the target was a word or not. Behavioral results showed that subliminal presentation of either a beloved's name (love prime) or a passion descriptor (passion prime) enhanced reaction times in a similar fashion. Subliminal presentation of a friend's name (friend prime) did not show any beneficial effects. Subliminal priming with a beloved's name (as opposed to either a friend's name or a passion descriptor) specifically recruited brain areas involved in abstract representations of others and the self, in addition to motivation circuits shared with other sources of passion. More precisely, love primes recruit the fusiform and angular gyri. The findings suggest that love, as a subliminal prime, involves a specific neural network that surpasses a dopaminergic-motivation system (6). Functional neuroimaging studies have shown that romantic love and maternal love are mediated by regions specific to each, as well as overlapping regions in the brain's reward system. The brain regions supporting unconditional love were identified. Participants were scanned during a control condition and an experimental condition. In the control condition, participants were instructed to simply look at a series of pictures depicting individuals with intellectual disabilities. In the experimental condition, participants were instructed to feel unconditional love towards the individuals depicted in a series of
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similar pictures. Significant loci of activation were found in the experimental condition compared with the control condition, in the middle insula, superior parietal lobule, right periaqueductal gray, right globus pallidus (medial), right caudate nucleus (dorsal head), left VTA and left rostro-dorsal anterior cingulate cortex. The results suggest that unconditional love is mediated by a distinct neural network relative to that mediating other emotions. This network contains cerebral structures known to be involved in romantic love or maternal love. Some of these structures represent key components of the brain's reward system (7). Romantic love is the catalyst behind the spread of the human life. The neurobiology of love embracing the hypothesis that what we call "romantic attachment" or "romantic love" perhaps is at least in part the expression of biological factors. A corollary of this hypothesis states that it is possible to learn much about the nature of human love by studying the molecules involved in the expression of social and affiliative behaviors. Under this theoretical framework, the changes in plasma NT levels were investigated in subjects with early stage romantic love. A positive association between the intensity of early romantic feelings and serum levels of NGF was identified. These findings linked love with biologically relevant pathways for neuron survival and illuminated the biochemical correlates of such a complex feeling that so deeply affected our own lives. The progresses in the neurobiology of love suggest that this kind of research may open a new window onto our understanding of the very nature of human romantic bonding (8). Early-stage romantic love has been studied in the U.S. and United Kingdom (6,9,10), revealing activation in the reward and motivation systems of the brain. What systems are activated for early-stage romantic love in Easterners, specifically Chinese participants? Are these activations affected by individual differences within a cultural context of Traditionality and Modernity? Are these brain activations correlated with later satisfaction in the relationship? In Beijing, the procedure was used by Aron et al. (9). The stimuli for 18 Chinese participants were a picture of the face of their beloved, the face of a familiar acquaintance, and a countback task. Significant activations specific to the beloved were found in the reward and motivation systems, particularly, the VTA and the caudate. The midorbitofrontal cortex and cerebellum were also activated, whereas
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amygdala, medial orbitofrontal, and medial accumbens activity were decreased relative to the familiar acquaintance. Self-reported Traditionality and Modernity scores were each positively correlated with activity in the nucleus accumbens, although in different regions and sides of the brain. Activity in the subgenual area and the superior frontal gyrus was associated with higher relationship happiness at 18-month follow-up. The results showed that midbrain dopamine-rich reward/motivation systems were activated by earlystage romantic love in Chinese participants. Neural activity was associated with Traditionality and Modernity attitudes as well as with later relationship happiness for Chinese participants (3). The neural correlates of many emotional states have been studied, most recently through the technique of fMRI. The activity in the brains of 17 subjects who were deeply in love was scanned using fMRI, while they viewed pictures of their partners, and compared with the activity produced by viewing pictures of three friends of similar age, sex and duration of friendship as their partners. The activity was restricted to foci in the medial insula and the anterior cingulate cortex and, subcortically, in the caudate nucleus and the putamen, all bilaterally. Deactivations were observed in the posterior cingulate gyrus and in the amygdala and were rightlateralized in the prefrontal, parietal and middle temporal cortices. The combination of these sites differed from those in previous studies of emotion, suggesting that a unique network of areas is responsible for evoking this affective state. This leads to postulate that the principle of functional specialization in the cortex applies to affective states as well (10). Romantic and maternal love is highly rewarding experiences. Both are linked to the perpetuation of the species and therefore have a closely linked biological function of crucial evolutionary importance. fMRI was used to measure brain activity in mothers while they viewed pictures of their own and of acquainted children, and of their best friend and of acquainted adults as additional controls. The activity specific to maternal attachment was compared to that associated to romantic love and to the distribution of attachmentmediating neurohormones. Both types of attachment activated regions specific to each, as well as overlapping regions in the brain's reward system that coincided with areas rich in oxytocin and vasopressin receptors. Both deactivated a common set of regions
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associated with negative emotions, social judgment and 'mentalizing', that is, the assessment of other people's intentions and emotions. Thus, human attachment employs a push-pull mechanism that overcomes social distance by deactivating networks used for critical social assessment and negative emotions, while it bonds individuals through the involvement of the reward circuitry, explaining the power of love to motivate and exhilarate (11). Whether romantic lovers differed in emotion-related inhibitory control capacity from those who were single were explored. Totally, 88 healthy undergraduate college students were evaluated. Half were currently in love and in a romantic relationship (love group), and half were single and have never been in a romantic relationship (single group). Based on duration of romantic relationship (i.e., love duration), the love group was further divided into two subgroups: "early stage love" and "longer periods of love". All participants completed an emotional Stop Signal Task, consisting of a variety of human face stimuli displaying either sad or neutral affect. Relative to single group, lovers showed greater inhibitory control (SSRT) during negative emotion condition trials. In early stages of love, SSRT for negative emotion condition trials was significantly shorter compared to that in "longer periods of love" or single group individuals, with insignificant differences between the two latter groups. Compared with individuals who were single, early stage lovers showed greater capacity for inhibiting action during presentation of negative emotional stimuli. Within a greater social context, greater inhibitory control capacity during early stages of love was perhaps related to the successful formation of romantic relationships, particularly to the ability to persevere in goal-directed action despite negative emotional contexts such as that of sadness (12). Romantic love is a motivational state associated with a desire to enter or maintain a close relationship with a specific other person. fMRI studies have found activation increases in brain regions involved in the processing of reward, motivation and emotion regulation, when romantic lovers viewed photographs of their partners. However, not much is known about whether romantic love affects the brain's functional architecture during rest. rsfMRI data were collected to compare the regional homogeneity and functional connectivity across an "in-love" group (n=34, currently intensely in love), an "ended-love" group (n=34, ended romantic relationship
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recently), and a "single" group (n=32, never fallen in love). Results showed that: 1] regional homogeneity of the left dorsal anterior cingulate cortex was significantly increased in the "in-love" group (in comparison to the "ended-love" group and the "single" group); 2] regional homogeneity of the left anterior cingulate cortex was positively correlated with length of time in love in the "in-love" group, and negatively correlated with the lovelorn duration since breakup in the "ended-love" group; (3) functional connectivity within the reward, motivation, and emotion regulation network (anterior cingulate cortex, insula, caudate, amygdala, and nucleus accumbens) as well as functional connectivity in the social cognition network (temporo-parietal junction, posterior cingulate cortex, medial prefrontal cortex, inferior parietal, precuneus, and temporal lobe) was significantly increased in the "in-love" group (in comparison to the "ended-love" and "single" group); 4] in most regions within both networks functional connectivity was positively correlated with the duration of love in the "in-love" group but negatively correlated with the lovelorn duration of time since breakup in the "ended-love". The findings provide empirical evidence of love-related alterations in brain functional architecture. The results shed light on the underlying neural mechanisms of romantic love, and demonstrate the possibility of applying a resting-state fMRI approach for investigating romantic love (13). Romantic relationship, a widespread feature of human society, is one of the most influential factors in daily life. Although stimuli related to romantic love or being in a romantic relationship commonly result in enhancement of activation or functional connectivity of the reward system, including the striatum, the structure underlying romantic relationship-related regions remains unclear. Because individual experiences can alter gray matter within the adult human brain, it has been hypothesized that romantic relationship is associated with structural differences in the striatum related to the positive subjective experience of being in a romantic relationship. Because intimate romantic relationships contribute to perceived subjective happiness, this subjective enhancement of happiness is perhaps accompanied by the experience of positive events related to being in a romantic relationship. To test this hypothesis and elucidate the structure involved, subjective happiness, an indirect measure of the existent of positive
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experiences, caused by being in a romantic relationship, was compared with or without romantic partners (n=68). A voxel-based morphometry study of the effects of being in a romantic relationship (n=113) was also conducted. Being in a romantic relationship was associated with greater subjective happiness and reduced gray matter density within the right dorsal striatum. The results suggest that being in a romantic relationship enhances perceived subjective happiness via positive experiences. The observed reduction in gray matter density in the right dorsal striatum may reflect an increase in saliency of social reward within a romantic relationship. Being in a romantic relationship is associated with positive experiences and a reduction of gray matter density in the right dorsal striatum represents a modulation of social reward (14). Separation from loved ones commonly leads to grief reactions. In some individuals, grief can evolve into a major depressive episode. Brain activity was studied in women actively grieving a recent romantic relationship breakup. It has been hypothesized that while remembering their ex-partner, subjects would have altered brain activity in regions identified in sadness imaging studies: the cerebellum, anterior temporal cortex, insula, anterior cingulate, and prefrontal cortex. Nine right-handed women whose romantic relationship ended within the preceding 4 months were examined. Subjects were scanned using blood-oxygen-level-dependent fMRI while they alternated between recalling a sad, ruminative thought about their loved one (grief state) and a neutral thought about a different person they knew an equally long time. Acute grief (grief minus neutral state) was associated with increased group activity in posterior brain regions, including the cerebellum, posterior brainstem, and posterior temporoparietal and occipital brain regions. Decreased activity was more prominent anteriorly and on the left and included the anterior brainstem, thalamus, striatum, temporal cortex, insula, and dorsal and ventral anterior cingulate/prefrontal cortex. When a more lenient statistical threshold for regions of interest was used, additional increases were found in the lateral temporal cortex, supragenual anterior cingulate/medial prefrontal cortex, and right inferomedial dorsolateral prefrontal cortex, all of which were adjacent to spatially more prominent decreases. In nearly all brain regions showing brain activity decreases with acute grief, and was greater in women reporting higher grief levels over the
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past 2 weeks. The data indicate that during acute grief, subjects show brain activity changes in the cerebellum, anterior temporal cortex, insula, anterior cingulate, and prefrontal cortex, consistent with the hypothesis. Subjects with greater baseline grief show greater decreases in all these regions except for the cerebellum (15). Our current knowledge of the neurobiology of romantic love remains scanty. In view of the complexity of a sentiment like love, it would not be surprising that a diversity of biochemical mechanisms can be involved in the mood changes of the initial stage of a romance. Whether the early romantic phase of a loving relationship can be associated with alterations in circulating levels of NTs was examined. Plasma levels of NGF, BDNF, NT-3 and NT-4 were measured in a total of 58 subjects who have recently fallen in love and compared with those of two control groups, consisting of subjects who were either single or were already engaged in a longlasting relationship. NGF level was significantly higher (p
