Study Guide - Clare De Graaf

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Study Guide

I recommend that you gather a few friends together for six weeks to read and discuss two chapters a week. The primary purpose is to come to terms with our excuses for not following Jesus and become more intentional in building habits of simple obedience. It’s that simple! These discussion questions aren’t about giving the correct answer—they’re about living an examined life that leads to godly, obedient living! Clare De Graaf

CHAP T ER ONE:

A Rule Of Life

1 Discuss this quote: “Using some internal moral-actuarial table, I would credit myself for church attendance, having personal devotions, giving, and generally being a good guy—with offsetting debits for sin. In my mind —and my arrogance — I always maintained a positive balance sheet compared to other Christians I knew. I figured I had plenty of carry-forwards.” (p.35) Do you think most of us consider ourselves to be above average Christians? Why is that?

2 Do you use the lack of “a road to Damascus” experience from God as an excuse for not growing as a Christian? If so, why?

3 Do you have any “rules of life” that guide you? What are they? (p.37)

4 What are some additional rules of life that Jesus taught?

T H E 10 S E C O N D R U L E S T U D Y G U I D E 1

CHAP T ER T WO:

Dueling Voices

1 What are your “favorite excuses” for sin, or failures to be more like Jesus?

2 How does the knowledge that you’ve been completely forgiven by Christ play into your partial surrender? (p.45)

3 Discuss this quote: “Grace abuse is holding God to his word while using it as an excuse to break ours. Most of us wouldn’t think of ourselves as actually doing that— but isn’t that what we’re really doing?” (p.46)

4 In what ways do you consciously count the cost of obedience before you act?

5 Relate the last time you “counted the cost” and failed to do what you were reasonably certain Jesus wanted you to do. What do you think the missed blessings might have been for that failure?

6 Discuss Matthew 7:21: “Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven.” Is Jesus saying we are saved by what we do?

If not, what is he saying?

How does this verse speak to you?


CHAP T ER THREE:

Listening To The Voice Of God

1 What’s your reaction when someone says, “God told me… (whatever)?

What do you think they mean when they say that?

2 Discuss this quote: “Let me illustrate. When I was a child, if one of my friends had said, ‘Your mother wants you to help the next person you meet who needs it,’ I would have believed them. Given my mother’s character that sounds like something she’d do herself—and, therefore, like something she might ask of me. I wouldn’t have had to personally hear her voice to confirm my friend’s message. Her life was her voice. So it is with Jesus’ life. Jesus’ followers recognize his voice because they’ve studied his words and his life so intently they’ve developed a spiritual ear for God.” (p.54-55) Is there someone you know (or knew) so well that you intuitively know what they are likely to do in most situations? (It may be someone who’s a serious follower of Jesus or even someone you have no respect for, who you know would not do the right thing. Please don’t use anyone’s name, unless their life is a blessing to you.)

3 Discuss the “standing orders” ideas on page 57 and the importance of them for building godly character. When is the last time you sensed the Holy Spirit warning you?

Is the Holy Spirit different from our consciences?

4 Have you been waiting for God to give you a sign to act?


5 Do you have a pattern of responding to special impressions, primarily to make you feel less guilty about sin in your life? Aren’t we all sub-consciously trying to rack up points to offset sin?

6 Has the need for certainty made you cautious about acting on impressions from God?

7 Recall the last time your desire for certainty caused you to doubt and led to inaction.

8 Do you think the warnings starting on page 63 are valid, or could they be a hindrance to obeying Jesus? Do you know someone who made a serious decision based on impulsively following “the leading of the Holy Spirit”, and lived to regret it?


CHAP T ER F OUR:

Pre-Decisions

1 When was the last time you were caught flat-footed and failed a “pop quiz” that you’re reasonably certain God had sent your way? Have you made any pre-decisions about that for “the next time?” (p.69)

2 Prior to reading this book, did you ever think about making pre-decisions? If so, discuss some pre-decisions you’ve made.

3 Have you made a list of “nevers”? Discuss why we might be reluctant to make pre-decisions on sin issues.

4 Do you have any written boundaries for your life? If so, please share them with the group. Why are they valuable?

5 Why do we rarely think of spending money on ourselves as “wasting it”? (p.74)

6 Why is it so hard to deal with “pet sins”? (p.76)


CHAP T ER FIV E:

The Power Of Small Beginnings

1 When was the last time you were embarrassed to identify yourself as a Christian?

2 What’s the next thing you’re reasonably certain Jesus wants you to do to serve the kingdom of God, or grow as a Christian, that you’ve been reluctant to do?

3 Discuss your progress in training yourself to be godly. Prior to reading The 10 Second Rule, how did you attempt to do this? Was it “information gathering” (like the Bible studies), or intentional character building activities (like serving and working on personal holiness issues)?

4 Do you think, in general, you’ve been faithful in small things?

5 What “big things for God” have you dreamt about? What are some smaller things you probably need to do first to prepare yourself to follow Jesus in this area?


CHAP T ER SIX:

Why Your Simple Obedience Matters

1 Discuss this quote: “That’s why you’re not ‘just a Christian,’ or just a member of First Baptist or Lincoln Assembly of God. As a member of God’s family, your mission in life is to be Jesus’ stand-in! That means he expects you to behave like him —as if he lived in your house, raised your children, saw the same strangers and needy you see, and hung out with your friends. More than that — it’s intentionally living with your ‘spiritual radar’ full on, eagerly anticipating his next assignment.” (p.97) Describe what you think it means to live with your spiritual radar “full on”?

2 Discuss this quote: “There’s a reason Jesus asks us to do these ‘divine chores’ in the family of God. As spiritual children, simple obedience to his requests like the Rule gets things done in the household of faith, or the kingdom of God, that we can’t possibly understand now or maybe ever.” (p.98) Do you think doing chores shaped you in ways beyond getting things done in your family? How?

3 Discuss this quote: “In our day heaven and earth are on tiptoe waiting for the emerging of a Spirit-led, Spirit empowered people. All of creation watches expectantly for the springing up of a disciplined, freely gathered, martyr people who know in this life the life and power of the kingdom of God. It has happened before. It can happen again.” (Richard Foster) (p.107) Does this describe you?

What’s holding you back from being that kind of person?


CHAP T ER SE V EN:

The School Of Jesus

1 Is regular Bible study hard for you sometimes? Why?

2 I’ve often said, “I think Jesus would prefer that I’m half as smart—and twice as obedient.” As important as Bible study is, talk about the danger of substituting information accumulation, for true obedience.

3 What message are you sending to God by the time you spend in Bible study, prayer, and intentional living compared to the other ways you spend your discretionary time? What would he conclude about what’s really important to you?

4 Discuss the Bible study method taught beginning on page 109. Have you tried it? Does it work for you? Is there another method that works better for you?

5 Do you have a spiritual mentor? Would you like to have one? If so, then what’s your next step? (A Spiritual Mentoring Guide is available on our website.)

6 Do you have an accountability partner or group? (i.e., elbow Christians who you empower to ask you the tough questions to grow personally, spiritually, relationally, etc.)


CHAP T ER EIGHT:

Love The One You’re With

1 Do you slot people into “worthy and less worthy”? Are there other ways you sort people? (p.121)

2 Do you think it’s alright to serve, even if your heart isn’t in it? (After you’ve discussed this, read Matthew 21:28-32.) What is this passage teaching?

3 Do you think it’s possible that God loves us, but at times doesn’t “like us” because of our behavior? Were there times God didn’t like the Israelites in the desert, but still loved them as his own?

4 Have you set some personal boundaries to make sure you’re not enabling a person you’re really trying to help? Do you feel guilty when you say “no”, even for the right reasons? Why is that?

5 Discuss this quote: “… the rise adverse will rarely follow Jesus. Being taken advantage of is the occupational hazard of a servant.” (The 10 Second Rule, page 121)

6 Is there anyone you’ve not forgiven for a past hurt, even if they’ve never asked for your forgiveness?


CHAP T ER NINE:

From A Rule To A Lifestyle

1 Do you think a lifestyle of service is the result of discipline or are some people “natural servants”? Do you think, “That’s not the way I’m wired”, is an excuse acceptable to God?

2 Have you found an “obedience niche”—a particular type of obedience or service that feels right for you?

3 Do you think your life and lifestyle make God look good? (p.131)

4 Have you ever given up because perfection is so impossible? What did “giving up” look like?

5 Do you know what your spiritual gifts are?


CHAP T ER T EN:

The 10 Second Rule At Work

1 What person’s story could you most identify with? (Brad and the veteran, Susan and Veti from Albania, Kyle and the lie) Why?

2 Did you have a parent who lived like one of these people? If so, were they intentional about it, or was it simply their lifestyle?

3 Would the people who know you best consider you a grace dispenser?

4 Kyle was reluctant to admit he lied. Why is it we find confession so difficult? (p.148)


CHAP T ER EL E V EN:

Doing The Rule 10 30 4

1 Have you made a decision to do the Rule yet? If not, what’s holding you back?

2 Do you have a prayer partner? Do you think it would be easier to follow the Rule if you had one? Why?

3 When someone asks you what the “10” sticker is for, what will you say? (p.158)

4 How do you think praying through your schedule every day would affect your sensitivity to the Spirit?

5 Has God been asking you to be the champion for Doing the Rule in your church? (p.160)

6 Have you asked your family to do the Rule with you? (p.161)


CHAP T ER T W ELV E:

Why Bother?

1 Would the people who know you best consider you a Christian or a follower of Jesus?

2 In what ways have you tried to “wire apples and glue leaves” on your Christian life so you’d look good to everyone around you? (p.165)

3 Honestly, do you live your life as if it belonged to God to use as he wants? What would God say about that?

4 Discuss the passage from John 14:23-24. (p.166)

5 What do you love more than Jesus? Don’t be quick with your answer, this is the most important question in the book. Imagine yourself standing by the fire. What would give Jesus pause about your claim to love him above all else? “Jesus replied: ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ ” (Matthew 22:37)

6 What is the next thing you’re reasonably certain Jesus wants you to do?

NOTE: These materials may not be edited, published, or sold without the written permission of the author. Additional copies can be downloaded at www.the10secondrule.com All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.™ Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide. Scripture quotations marked MSG are taken from The Message. Copyright © 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group. 10430™ Copyright © 2011 by Clare J. De Graaf.
