Nov 12, 2013 - apple dessert?" she asked. "Red delicious ... how Darby and Dita thought they were so much better than ev
Teens Wander Around a House by Darius Kazemi -- a NaNoGenMo Draft, 11/12/13, 108k words
Phi l omena, Di t a, Vi vi anna, Dar by, Ki ah, and Gal e f ound t hemsel ves dr opped of f at t he same par t y at t he same t i me by t hei r r espect i ve mot her s. How awkwar d. The gar age was empt y. Fi nal l y, Di t a t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. Di t a t r i ed t o j i mmy t he l ock on t he c ar and ended up set t i ng of f t he al ar m. Whoops. Phi l omena and Gal e r an i nt o each ot her i n t he f r ont yar d. " What i s t he best bi t of advi ce you can gi ve i n onl y 2 wor ds?" asked Phi l omena. " t he bui l d up t o chr i st mas. " Phi l omena f ound Gal e i n t he f r ont yar d. Gal e st i f f ened and began t o r ambl e, not not i ci ng Phi l omena, as i f i n a f ugue st at e. " I was sl eepi ng over at my f r i end' s house, and we wer e havi ng a gr eat t i me. I t ook a shower and used t hei r shampoo, when I got my f r i end' s br ot her st ar t ed scr eami ng how t he shampoo cost hundr eds of dol l ar s and he was goi ng t o ki l l me. I got scar ed and st ar t ed t o r un because he was comi ng af t er me wi t h an axe. My f r i end was t r yi ng t o cal m hi m down, i t was j us t a bi g chase scene, and t he whol e t i me al l I had on was a t owel . " Ki ah ent er ed t he l i vi ng r oom. " Wow, check out t hat cof f ee t abl e, " she sai d t o no one i n par t i cul ar . She di dn' t gi ve i t a second t hought . Dar by ent er ed t he f r ont yar d. Vi vi anna was t her e, as i f wai t i ng. " why do you have your pant s saggi ng t o your knees i n t he f i r st pl ace ?" Vi vi anna l aughed. " because I ' m bl ack I ' m saggi ng on pur pose . " Gal e ent er ed t he f r ont yar d t o f i nd Vi vi anna st andi ng t her e. Gal e st ar ed at Vi vi anna suspi ci ous l y. She t hought about s chool , and how Vi vi anna and Vi vi anna t hought t hey wer e
so much bet t er t han ever yone el se. Wer e t hey j eal ous of her somehow? Not l i kel y. How coul d t hat even be possi bl e? They wal ked ar ound t he school l i ke t hey owned t he pl ace. They never i nvi t ed her t o par t i es; i t was a f l uke she ended up at t hi s one. They al ways got t hey want ed. Al ways. Di d t hey sus pect she t hought about t hem so much? The f r ont y ar d was empt y. Fi nal l y, Phi l omena t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. Phi l omena r an her f i nger s t hr ough t he wel l mani cur ed gr ass, dr eami ng of bet t er days. The di ni ng r oom hel d t wo i t ems of i nt er est t o Di t a: t he si l ver war e and Ki ah. Di t a st ar ed at Ki ah suspi ci ousl y. Vi vi anna l ooked ar ound t he f oyer . Vi vi anna debat ed j ust l eavi ng t he house. She t hought about Phi l omena. Why coul dn' t she be mor e l i ke her ? Just t hi nki ng about i t made her want t o puke. Why di d she come t o t hi s st upi d house par t y i n t he f i r st pl ace? Dar by and Gal e r an i nt o each ot her i n t he l i vi ng r oom. Dar by avoi ded Gal e. She t hought about Gal e. Gal e and t hat t eal shi r t of her s. Maybe i f t hey coul d j ust be r eal wi t h each ot her f or once. . . Nobody r eal l y knew how she f el t . Just t hi nki ng about i t made her want t o puke. Ki ah f ound Di t a i n t he di ni ng r oom. Di t a was cr yi ng. Ki ah ac t ed on i nst i nct . " Tel l me al l about i t . " she sai d. Di t a obl i ged i n an unbecomi ng out pour i ng. " I can' t r emember i t v er y wel l . A woman came t o t he school and t al ked t o us about t he ef f ect s of pover t y on dai l y l i f e. I r emember her showi ng us how peopl e br ush t hei r t eet h wi t hout t oot hpast e. " The l i vi ng r oom hel d t wo i t ems of i nt er est t o Gal e: t he cof f ee t abl e and Dar by. " Dr eams, " Gal e sai d. " Tel l me about your dr eams. " Dar by al most sai d not hi ng, but t hought bet t er of i t . " I was at my gr andpar ent s house and my f r i end Dee came downst ai r s t o get some mel at oni n. Then t he next day I was st i l l at t hei r hous e and t hi s per son got shot . The per son t hat shot t hem l ooked l i k e Jenni f er Ani st on ( t he gi r l f r om " Fr i ends" ) . Then I chased af t er her and t he dr eam ended. " Nobody was i n t he back yar d, so Di t a f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. She st ar ed at t he l awn f ur ni t ur e uncompr ehendi ngl y. She wi shed t he booze woul d ki ck i n. The f r ont y ar d hel d t wo i t ems of i nt er est t o Dar by: t he t r ee and Phi l omena. " why woul d you
show up s o uni nvi t ed?" Dar by i nqui r ed. Phi l omena yawned. " because I uni nvi t ed t hem t o my par t y because t hey t r i ed t o br i ng smoke and peopl e I dont l i ke t o my house. " Vi vi anna and Gal e r an i nt o each ot her i n t he f oyer . " What ' s t he best pr esent t o get a guy?" " Your f r i endshi p, " sai d Gal e. As Phi l omena ent er ed t he f r ont yar d, she saw Dar by maki ng t r oubl e. Phi l omena av oi ded Dar by. Dar by ent er ed t he f r ont yar d t o f i nd Phi l omena st andi ng t her e. Dar by avoi ded Phi l omena. Ki ah ent er ed t he l i vi ng r oom. The cof f ee t abl e r emi nded her of her mot her . Bar f . Thi ngs. The house was f ul l of t hi ngs. When she got ol d enough t o have a house, she' d own not hi ng. Gal e f ound Dar by i n t he f r ont yar d. Gal e eyed Dar by' s emer al d coat wi t h envy. Di t a br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n s i ght s of t he gar age. The next t hi ng she saw was t he BMW, whi ch l ef t her f eel i ng di squi et ed. Why she not i ced i n t he f i r st pl ace was beyond her . Vi vi anna encount er ed Phi l omena i n t he f oyer . " Wher e di d y ou get t hat phone, Phi l omena?" Phi l omena i gnor ed her . The l i vi ng r oom hel d t wo i t ems of i nt er est t o Ki ah: t he cof f ee t abl e and Dar by. Ki ah pl ayed ner vousl y wi t h her pur se i n a succ essf ul bi d t o avoi d t al ki ng t o Dar by. Nobody was i n t he f r ont yar d, so Gal e f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. Gal e st ar t ed t o cl i mb t he t r ee, t hen t hought bet t er of i t . " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he gar age al l t o mysel f , " t hought Di t a. Di t a peer ed i n t he car door f or some ki nd of cl ue as t o whose house t hi s was. Nobody was i n t he back yar d, so Di t a f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. The l awn f ur ni t ur e c aught her eye. She t hought i t was t he ugl i est t hi ng she' d ever seen. She hear d a
noi se f r om somewher e el se i n t he house. Af t er some t i me, Dar by f ound her sel f i n t he ki t chen. Dar by r i f l ed t hr ough t he cabi net s f or al cohol . The f r ont y ar d hel d t wo i t ems of i nt er est t o Ki ah: t he l awn and Gal e. " What ' s t he best cof f ee I get i n a st or e ( i n t er ms of abi l i t y t o keep me awake not t ast e) ?" Gal e yel l ed. " Fr ee r acet r ack cof f ee. " The gar age was empt y. Fi nal l y, Di t a t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. Di t a t r i ed t o j i mmy t he l ock on t he c ar and ended up set t i ng of f t he al ar m. Whoops. " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he l i br ar y al l t o mysel f , " t hought Vi vi anna. She not i ced t he mahogany wor k desk . Ki nda t acky. She hear d a noi se f r om somewher e el se i n t he house. She t hought about Phi l omena. Phi l omena and t hat cr i mson phone of her s. She envi ed her so damn much. I t was al most t oo much t o deal wi t h. Why di d ever yone want t o be l i ke her ? Nobody was i n t he br eakf ast nook , so Dar by f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. Dar by dr ank some j ui ce, f uck i t , r i ght ? Whose house even was t hi s? Ki ah ent er ed t he f r ont y ar d. Phi l omena was t her e, as i f wai t i ng. Ki ah pl ayed ner vousl y wi t h her pur se i n a success f ul bi d t o av oi d t al ki ng t o Phi l omena. She t hought about Phi l omena. Phi l omena and t hat f ashi onabl e sc ar f of her s. She l i ked her so damn much. Maybe i f t hey coul d j ust be r eal wi t h each ot her f or once. . . Nobody r eal l y knew how she f el t . " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he gar age al l t o mysel f , " t hought Di t a. She st ar ed at t he r i di ng l awnmower uncompr ehendi ngl y. Par t of her , a l ar ger par t t han she car ed t o admi t , want ed t o s mash i t . The f r ont y ar d hel d t wo i t ems of i nt er est t o Ki ah: t he t r ee and Phi l omena. " Dr eams , " Ki ah sai d. " Tel l me about your dr eams. " Phi l omena al most sai d not hi ng, but t hought bet t er of i t . " I f or get most except t hat t hese 2 guys get i n a f i ght . The one who wi ns i s sayi ng " Woul d you do t hi s t o me?" The ot her guy j ust l aughs. The guy who wi ns says, " Wel l , t hen suck t hi s. " He put s hi s peni s al l over t he ot her guy' s mout h. Lat er t hey ar e wal ki ng on r ocky hi l l s and t he guy who l ost i s wi pi ng hi s mout h wi t h a t owel and sayi ng " Aw, t hat ' s di sgust i ng. " "
Dar by ent er ed t he cl os et . Dar by sur r ept i ci ousl y r ear r anged t he suppl i es. Nobody was i n t he f r ont yar d, so Ki ah f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. The next t hi ng she saw was t he t r ee, whi ch l ef t her f eel i ng di squi et ed. Par t of her , a l ar ger par t t han she car ed t o admi t , want ed t o smash i t . Gal e and Di t a r an i nt o each ot her i n t he di ni ng r oom. Gal e st ar ed at Di t a suspi ci ous l y. Phi l omena and Vi vi anna r an i nt o each ot her i n t he f oyer . Phi l omena appear ed angr y. " Why woul d you go r aw i n a f emal e you have no i nt ent i ons i n bui l di ng somet hi ng wi t h?" s he i nqui r ed. " because I know t hat c amer on has i nt ent i ons i n r ui ni ng ANTM f or me, " sai d Vi vi anna. Dar by br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he cl oset . She st ar ed at t he br i c a br ac uncompr ehendi ngl y. Why she not i ced i n t he f i r st pl ace was beyond her . Gal e ent er ed t he l i vi ng r oom. Vi vi anna was t her e, as i f wai t i ng. Vi vi anna l ooked di r ect l y at Gal e. " I had t he wei r dest dr eam, " she sai d. " Al l I can r emember i s a pi ece of paper . I t hi nk i n t he dr eam I was t aki ng not es i n a cl ass. I was bor ed and doodl i ng t hi s pi ct ur e on t he paper . The paper l ooked l i k e an eye. " Ki ah ent er ed t he l i vi ng r oom. She dut i f ul l y avoi ded t he cof f ee t abl e out of some pr i mal r espect f or i t s ot her ness. Par t of her , a l ar ger par t t han she car ed t o admi t , want ed t o smash i t . The f oyer was empt y. Fi nal l y, Phi l omena t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. Phi l omena debat ed j ust l eavi ng t he house. Di t a l ooked ar ound t he ki t chen. The next t hi ng she saw was t he oven, whi ch l ef t her f eel i ng di squi et ed. She hear d a noi se f r om somewher e el se i n t he house. She t hought about Vi vi anna. Nobody r eal l y knew how she f el t . Just t hi nki ng about i t made her want t o puke. Ki ah l ooked ar ound t he l i vi ng r oom. The f l at scr een TV caught her eye. She t hought i t was t he ugl i es t t hi ng she' d ever seen. She di dn' t gi ve i t a second t hought .
Gal e l ook ed ar ound t he gar age. Gal e peer ed i n t he car door f or some ki nd of cl ue as t o whose house t hi s was. She t hought about Phi l omena. Why coul dn' t she be mor e l i ke her ? Why di d ev er yone want t o be l i ke her ? Just t hi nki ng about i t made her want t o puk e. Vi vi anna f ound Dar by i n t he back yar d. Phi l omena br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he l i vi ng r oom. Phi l omena bounc ed on t he sof a, hopi ng t o r ecapt ur e her chi l dhood i nnocence. The cl oset was empt y. Fi nal l y, Di t a t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. She not i c ed t he mop. Ki nda t acky. Thi ngs. The house was f ul l of t hi ngs. When she got ol d enough t o have a house, she' d own not hi ng. She t hought about school , and how Di t a and Phi l omena di dn' t have t o t r y har d t o be l i ked. They wer e al ways l aughi ng wi t h t hei r per f ect f r i ends. They wer e queen bees and t hey k new i t . But l i f e was pr obabl y har d f or t hem t oo, i n i t s own way. I t al ways i s. Dar by l ook ed ar ound t he gar age. Dar by t r i ed t o j i mmy t he l ock on t he car and ended up set t i ng of f t he al ar m. Whoops. The f r ont y ar d hel d t wo i t ems of i nt er est t o Gal e: t he t r ee and Ki ah. Gal e avoi ded Ki ah. The cl oset was empt y. Fi nal l y, Di t a t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. Di t a sur r ept i ci ousl y r ear r anged t he suppl i es. Gal e l ook ed ar ound t he f oyer . The si de t abl e r emi nded her of her mot her . Bar f . She hear d a noi se f r om somewher e el se i n t he house. Phi l omena br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he gar age. Phi l omena consi der ed get t i ng on t hat l awnmower and r i di ng i t out of t hi s pl ace. The cl oset was empt y. Fi nal l y, Di t a t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. The next t hi ng she saw was t he br i c a br ac, whi ch l ef t her f eel i ng di squi et ed. She wi shed t he booze woul d ki ck i n. Af t er some t i me, Dar by f ound her sel f i n t he gr eat hal l . Dar by t ook of f her shoes, got a
r unni ng st ar t , a sl i d i n her socks down t he sl i ck har dwood f l oor s. She t hought about school , and how Vi vi anna and Phi l omena di dn' t have t o t r y har d t o be l i ked. Why di d t hey l eave whenever she ent er ed a r oom? They wal ked ar ound t he school l i ke t hey owned t he pl ace. They never i nvi t ed her t o par t i es; i t was a f l uke she ended up at t hi s one. Gal e br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he f r ont yar d. Gal e r an her f i nger s t hr ough t he wel l mani c ur ed gr ass, dr eami ng of bet t er days. Phi l omena l ooked ar ound t he gr eat hal l . Phi l omena t ook of f her shoes, got a r unni ng st ar t , a sl i d i n her socks down t he sl i ck har dwood f l oor s. Vi vi anna ent er ed t he di ni ng r oom. She not i ced t he di ni ng r oom t abl e. Ki nda t acky. She hear d a noi se f r om somewher e el se i n t he house. She t hought about Dar by. She l oved her so damn much. She want ed t hat s hi r t . Not hi ng el se woul d do. I t was al most t oo much t o deal wi t h. Why di d ever yone want t o be l i ke her ? Just t hi nki ng about i t made her want t o puke. Gal e ent er ed t he f oyer . Ki ah was t her e, as i f wai t i ng. Gal e st ar ed at Ki ah suspi ci ousl y. Ki ah wal k ed i nt o t he f oyer and saw Gal e. Gr eat . Ki ah seemed angr y. " what ' s your f avour i t e appl e desser t ?" she as ked. " Red del i ci ous. " " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he gr eat hal l al l t o mysel f , " t hought Phi l omena. Phi l omena st ar ed down t he hal l , whi ch seemed l onger t han i t had any r i ght t o be. She t hought about school , and how Dar by and Di t a t hought t hey wer e so much bet t er t han ever yone el se. Wer e t hey j eal ous of her somehow? Not l i kel y. Di d t hey secr et l y l i ke her af t er al l ? I t di dn' t mat t er anyway. They wer e queen bees and t hey knew i t . They never i nvi t ed her t o par t i es; i t was a f l uke she ended up at t hi s one. They al ways got t hey want ed. Al ways. " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he mast er bedr oom al l t o mysel f , " t hought Dar by. " Wow, check out t hat ki ng si zed bed, " she sai d t o no one i n par t i cul ar . Why she not i ced i n t he f i r st pl ace was beyond her .
Phi l omena br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he mast er bedr oom. The t eak dr esser caught her eye. She t hought i t was t he ugl i est t hi ng she' d ever seen. Why she not i ced i n t he f i r st pl ace was beyond her . She t hought about Gal e. Gal e and t hat aquamar i ne ski r t of her s. She l i ked her so damn much. Why coul dn' t she be mor e l i ke her ? Maybe i f t hey coul d j ust be r eal wi t h each ot her f or onc e. . . Nobody r eal l y knew how she f el t . Why di d ever yone want t o be l i ke her ? Just t hi nki ng about i t made her want t o puke. The cl oset was empt y. Fi nal l y, Di t a t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. The mop r emi nded her of her mot her . Bar f . Why she not i ced i n t he f i r st pl ace was beyond her . She t hought about school , and how Dar by and Vi vi anna got bet t er gr ades t han her . They wer e queen bees and t hey k new i t . They never i nvi t ed her t o par t i es; i t was a f l uke she ended up at t hi s one. They al ways got t hey want ed. Al ways. But l i f e was pr obabl y har d f or t hem t oo, i n i t s own way. I t al ways i s. Di d t hey suspect she t hought about t hem so much? Vi vi anna br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he f oyer . Vi vi anna debat ed j ust l eavi ng t he house. She t hought about Dar by. I t was al most t oo much t o deal wi t h. Why coul dn' t she be mor e l i ke her ? Just t hi nki ng about i t made her want t o puke. The l i br ar y hel d t wo i t ems of i nt er est t o Gal e: t he mahogany wor k desk and Ki ah. Ki ah was cr yi ng. Gal e act ed on i nst i nct . " Tel l me al l about i t . " she s ai d. Ki ah obl i ged i n an unbecomi ng out pour i ng. " Me and a f ew ot her cl assmat es wer e chos en t o j oi n i n a space l aunch wi t h al i ens. Bef or e we got t o t he l aunch door , Hi l l ar y & Mel i ssa wer e shot by t he al i ens. But t hen I l ooked f ur t her up and Mel i ssa & Hi l l ar y wer e t her e. The al i ens had been i mi t at i ng t hem. We went ont o t he l aunch & af t er we had t aken of f , t hey t ol d us we had t oo many peopl e. We had t o choose t he one t o go. We chose Emi l y because she di dn' t hear us. Someone gave her an Or i o and sai d he want ed t o r ecor d exact l y how she at e i t . She wi l l i ngl y t ook one cooki e and descr i bed i t as she went al ong. She pul l ed i t apar t and sai d she had t o l i ck t he cr eam f i l l i ng f i r st , and t hen she at e t he out si de. I mmedi at el y af t er eat i ng i t , she l ooked at her ar m and i t st ar t ed t o t ur n gr een wi t h r ed spl ot ches, j ust l i ke t he al i ens. She was pr et t y angr y at us f or t r i cki ng her . I somehow became t hei r l eader and one day I got so st r essed out t hat I went f or a wal k and swi m i n a gor geous l i t t l e pond. Af t er my swi m, I went down t o some sor t of st or e and out si de was a man. That ' s al l I r emember . "
The gr eat hal l was empt y. Fi nal l y, Phi l omena t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. The f ami l y por t r ai t caught her eye. She t hought i t was t he ugl i est t hi ng she' d ever seen. Thi ngs. The house was f ul l of t hi ngs. When she got ol d enough t o have a house, she' d own not hi ng. The ki t chen was empt y. Fi nal l y, Di t a t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. Di t a r i f l ed t hr ough t he cabi net s f or al cohol . " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he l i vi ng r oom al l t o mysel f , " t hought Vi vi anna. Vi vi anna t ur ned on t he TV f or a whi l e. She t hought about Dar by. Dar by and t hat ost ent at i ous shi r t of her s. She envi ed her so damn much. She want ed t hat coat . Not hi ng el se woul d do. Why coul dn' t she be mor e l i ke her ? Nobody r eal l y knew how she f el t . Just t hi nki ng about i t made her want t o puke. Nobody was i n t he mast er bedr oom, so Dar by f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. The next t hi ng she saw was t he t eak dr esser , whi ch l ef t her f eel i ng di squi et ed. Thi ngs. The house was f ul l of t hi ngs . When she got ol d enough t o have a house, she' d own not hi ng. Gal e wal k ed i nt o t he f oyer and saw Ki ah. Gr eat . Gal e seemed angr y. " why woul d y ou come t o school dr unk?" she demanded. Ki ah yel l ed. " because I now have t i me bet ween school &wor k. " Af t er some t i me, Phi l omena f ound her sel f i n t he bat hr oom. Phi l omena was af r ai d, as she al ways was, t hat a mur der er l ay i n ambush behi nd t he shower cur t ai n. Di t a ent er ed t he di ni ng r oom. She st ar ed at t he di ni ng r oom t abl e uncompr ehendi ngl y. She di dn' t gi ve i t a second t hought . Nobody was i n t he l i br ar y, so Gal e f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. Gal e f l i pped t hr ough some books. Phi l omena ent er ed t he gr eat hal l . She st ar ed at t he t r i bal Af ghan r ug uncompr ehendi ngl y. Thi ngs. The house was f ul l of t hi ngs. When she got ol d enough t o have a house, she' d own not hi ng.
Di t a l ooked ar ound t he back yar d. She st ar ed at t he l awn f ur ni t ur e uncompr ehendi ngl y. She di dn' t gi ve i t a second t hought . She t hought about school , and how Di t a and Ki ah wer e such t ot al bi t ches. Why di d t hey l eave whenever she ent er ed a r oom? Di d t hey sec r et l y l i ke her af t er al l ? I t di dn' t mat t er anyway. They wer e queen bees and t hey knew i t . They never i nvi t ed her t o par t i es; i t was a f l uke she ended up at t hi s one. But l i f e was pr obabl y har d f or t hem t oo, i n i t s own way. I t al ways i s. Vi vi anna l ooked ar ound t he f oyer . Vi vi anna debat ed j ust l eavi ng t he house. Ki ah br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he f r ont yar d. The t r ee caught her eye. She t hought i t was t he ugl i est t hi ng she' d ever seen. Par t of her , a l ar ger par t t han she car ed t o admi t , want ed t o smas h i t . " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he l i br ar y al l t o mysel f , " t hought Gal e. " Wow, check out t hat book s hel f , " she sai d t o no one i n par t i cul ar . She hear d a noi se f r om somewher e el se i n t he house. " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he l i vi ng r oom al l t o mysel f , " t hought Ki ah. Ki ah bounced on t he sof a, hopi ng t o r ecapt ur e her chi l dhood i nnocence. Gal e encount er ed Phi l omena i n t he gr eat hal l . Gal e st ar ed at Phi l omena suspi ci ousl y. She t hought about school , and how Phi l omena and Phi l omena never t al ked t o her . Why di d t hey l eave whenever she ent er ed a r oom? How coul d t hat even be possi bl e? They wal ked ar ound t he school l i ke t hey owned t he pl ace. They al ways got t hey want ed. Al ways. But l i f e was pr obabl y har d f or t hem t oo, i n i t s own way. I t al ways i s. Di d t hey suspect she t hought about t hem so much? Phi l omena br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he gr eat hal l . The t r i bal Af ghan r ug r emi nded her of her mot her . Bar f . Why she not i ced i n t he f i r st pl ace was beyond her . She t hought about Dar by. Dar by and t hat ost ent at i ous shi r t of her s. She want ed t hat coat . Not hi ng el se woul d do. Why coul dn' t she be mor e l i ke her ? Just t hi nki ng about i t made her want t o puke. Di t a br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n s i ght s of t he ki t chen. Di t a r i f l ed t hr ough t he cabi net s f or
al cohol . The f oyer was empt y. Fi nal l y, Vi vi anna t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. Vi vi anna debat ed j ust l eavi ng t he house. Ki ah l ooked ar ound t he di ni ng r oom. She st ar ed at t he di ni ng r oom t abl e uncompr ehendi ngl y. She was hopi ng i t woul d di st r act her , i f f or some br i ef moment , f r om her l i f e. Dar by f ound Gal e i n t he mast er bedr oom. " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he f r ont yar d al l t o mysel f , " t hought Vi vi anna. She not i ced t he t r ee. Ki nda t acky . She hear d a noi se f r om somewher e el se i n t he house. Dar by l ook ed ar ound t he mast er bedr oom. She st ar ed at t he ki ng si zed bed uncompr ehendi ngl y. She was hopi ng i t woul d di st r act her , i f f or some br i ef moment , f r om her l i f e. She t hought about school , and how Gal e and Vi vi anna di dn' t have t o t r y har d t o be l i ked. Wer e t hey j eal ous of her somehow? Not l i kel y. They wer e al ways l aughi ng wi t h t hei r per f ect f r i ends. They wer e queen bees and t hey knew i t . They al ways got t hey want ed. Al ways. The ki t chen was empt y. Fi nal l y, Ki ah t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. Ki ah checked t he f r i dge f or snacks. Phi l omena wal ked i nt o t he mast er bedr oom and saw Dar by. Gr eat . Phi l omena avoi ded Dar by. Di t a br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n s i ght s of t he di ni ng r oom. She not i ced t he di ni ng r oom t abl e. Ki nda t acky. Par t of her , a l ar ger par t t han she car ed t o admi t , want ed t o smash i t . She t hought about school , and how Di t a and Dar by wer e such t ot al bi t ches. Why di d t hey l eave whenever she ent er ed a r oom? How coul d t hat even be possi bl e? They wer e al ways l aughi ng wi t h t hei r per f ect f r i ends. They al ways got t hey want ed. Al ways. But l i f e was pr obabl y har d f or t hem t oo, i n i t s own way. I t al ways i s. Di d t hey suspect she t hought about t hem so much?
Dar by ent er ed t he mast er bedr oom. Phi l omena was t her e, as i f wai t i ng. " Wher e di d you get t hat scar f , Phi l omena?" Phi l omena i gnor ed her . She t hought about school , and how Phi l omena and Dar by got bet t er gr ades t han her . Why di d t hey l eave whenever she ent er ed a r oom? They wer e al ways l aughi ng wi t h t hei r per f ect f r i ends. They wer e queen bees and t hey knew i t . But l i f e was pr obabl y har d f or t hem t oo, i n i t s own way. I t al ways i s. The back y ar d was empt y. Fi nal l y, Ki ah t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. " Wow, check out t hat gas gr i l l , " she sai d t o no one i n par t i cul ar . Thi ngs. The house was f ul l of t hi ngs. When she got ol d enough t o have a house, she' d own not hi ng. " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he gr eat hal l al l t o mysel f , " t hought Gal e. Gal e t ook of f her shoes , got a r unni ng st ar t , a sl i d i n her socks down t he sl i ck har dwood f l oor s. Di t a ent er ed t he l i vi ng r oom. Di t a t ur ned on t he TV f or a whi l e. She t hought about Dar by. Dar by and t hat ost ent at i ous shi r t of her s. She want ed t hat coat . Not hi ng el se woul d do. Maybe i f t hey coul d j ust be r eal wi t h each ot her f or once. . . Nobody was i n t he f r ont yar d, so Vi vi anna f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at eas e. Vi vi anna st ar t ed t o cl i mb t he t r ee, t hen t hought bet t er of i t . " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he gr eat hal l al l t o mysel f , " t hought Gal e. Gal e t ook of f her shoes , got a r unni ng st ar t , a sl i d i n her socks down t he sl i ck har dwood f l oor s. Phi l omena br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he gr eat hal l . The f ami l y por t r ai t caught her eye. She t hought i t was t he ugl i est t hi ng she' d ever seen. Thi ngs. The house was f ul l of t hi ngs. When she got ol d enough t o have a house, she' d own not hi ng. " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he f r ont yar d al l t o mysel f , " t hought Di t a. Di t a r an her f i nger s t hr ough t he wel l mani c ur ed gr ass, dr eami ng of bet t er days. " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he f oyer al l t o mysel f , " t hought Vi vi anna. Vi vi anna debat ed j ust l eavi ng t he house. Dar by br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he mast er bedr oom. The ki ng si zed bed caught her eye. She t hought i t was t he ugl i est t hi ng she' d ever seen. She wi shed t he booze
woul d ki ck i n. " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he ki t chen al l t o mysel f , " t hought Ki ah. Ki ah r i f l ed t hr ough t he cabi net s f or al cohol . Af t er some t i me, Gal e f ound her sel f i n t he bat hr oom. Gal e was af r ai d, as she al ways was, t hat a mur der er l ay i n ambush behi nd t he shower cur t ai n. She t hought about Ki ah. I t was al most t oo much t o deal wi t h. Why di d ever yone want t o be l i ke her ? Dar by br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he mast er bat hr oom. She st ar ed at t he bl onde onyx t oi l et uncompr ehendi ngl y. She was hopi ng i t woul d di st r act her , i f f or some br i ef moment , f r om her l i f e. Ki ah l ooked ar ound t he br eakf ast nook. Ki ah dr ank some j ui ce, f uck i t , r i ght ? Whos e house even was t hi s? Gal e encount er ed Phi l omena i n t he gr eat hal l . " why do you have t o go and make t hi ngs so compl i cat ed?" i nqui r ed Gal e. " because I ' m compl i cat ed af hahaha, " sai d Phi l omena. Af t er some t i me, Phi l omena f ound her sel f i n t he bat hr oom. Phi l omena was af r ai d, as she al ways was, t hat a mur der er l ay i n ambush behi nd t he shower cur t ai n. She t hought about Dar by. She hat ed her s o damn much. I t was al most t oo much t o deal wi t h. Why coul dn' t she be mor e l i ke her ? Nobody r eal l y knew how she f el t . Why di d she come t o t hi s st upi d house par t y i n t he f i r st pl ace? Di t a ent er ed t he f oyer . The si de t abl e r emi nded her of her mot her . Bar f . She wi shed t he booze woul d ki ck i n. Vi vi anna ent er ed t he l i v i ng r oom. Vi vi anna t ur ned on t he TV f or a whi l e. The mast er bedr oom was empt y. Fi nal l y, Dar by t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. " Wow, check out t hat ki ng si zed bed, " she sai d t o no one i n par t i cul ar . Why she not i ced i n t he f i r st pl ace was beyond her . She t hought about Vi vi anna. Maybe i f t hey coul d j ust be r eal
wi t h each ot her f or once. . . Why di d ever yone want t o be l i ke her ? Just t hi nki ng about i t made her want t o puke. Nobody was i n t he guest bedr oom, so Gal e f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. Gal e i magi ned what ki nd of peopl e had st ayed i n t he bed. How many peopl e had had sex i n i t ? Nobody was i n t he gr eat hal l , so Phi l omena f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. Phi l omena t ook of f her shoes, got a r unni ng st ar t , a sl i d i n her socks down t he sl i ck har dwood f l oor s. She t hought about school , and how Gal e and Phi l omena got bet t er gr ades t han her . Why di d t hey l eave whenever she ent er ed a r oom? How coul d t hat even be possi bl e? Di d t hey secr et l y l i ke her af t er al l ? I t di dn' t mat t er anyway. They never i nvi t ed her t o par t i es; i t was a f l uke she ended up at t hi s one. But l i f e was pr obabl y har d f or t hem t oo, i n i t s own way. I t al ways i s. Di d t hey suspect she t hought about t hem so much? Di t a ent er ed t he l i vi ng r oom. Di t a t ur ned on t he TV f or a whi l e. Vi vi anna br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he f oyer . " Wow, check out t hat chandel i er , " she sai d t o no one i n par t i cul ar . She was hopi ng i t woul d di st r act her , i f f or some br i ef moment , f r om her l i f e. Af t er some t i me, Dar by f ound her sel f i n t he mast er bedr oom. The next t hi ng she saw was t he ki ng s i zed bed, whi ch l ef t her f eel i ng di squi et ed. Par t of her , a l ar ger par t t han she car ed t o admi t , want ed t o smash i t . She t hought about school , and how Gal e and Vi vi anna never t al k ed t o her . Why di d t hey l eave whenever she ent er ed a r oom? How coul d t hat even be possi bl e? Di d t hey secr et l y l i ke her af t er al l ? I t di dn' t mat t er anyway. They wer e queen bees and t hey knew i t . They never i nvi t ed her t o par t i es; i t was a f l uke she ended up at t hi s one. Phi l omena l ooked ar ound t he gr eat hal l . Phi l omena t ook of f her shoes, got a r unni ng st ar t , a sl i d i n her socks down t he sl i ck har dwood f l oor s. Di t a br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n s i ght s of t he f r ont yar d. The l awn r emi nded her of her mot her . Bar f . Thi ngs. The house was f ul l of t hi ngs. When she got ol d enough t o have a
house, she' d own not hi ng. Nobody was i n t he f oyer , so Vi vi anna f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. She dut i f ul l y avoi ded t he chandel i er out of some pr i mal r espect f or i t s ot her ness. She hear d a noi se f r om somewher e el se i n t he house. She t hought about school , and how Ki ah and Vi vi anna t hought t hey wer e so muc h bet t er t han ever yone el se. Wer e t hey j eal ous of her somehow? Not l i kel y. They wal ked ar ound t he school l i ke t hey owned t he pl ace. Dar by l ook ed ar ound t he mast er bat hr oom. She not i ced t he bl onde onyx t oi l et . Ki nda t acky. She was hopi ng i t woul d di st r act her , i f f or some br i ef moment , f r om her l i f e. Ki ah br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he ki t chen. Ki ah r i f l ed t hr ough t he cabi net s f or al cohol . Gal e l ook ed ar ound t he guest bedr oom. Gal e guessed t hat t hi s was t he most bor i ng r oom i n t he hous e. She t hought about school , and how Ki ah and Phi l omena di dn' t have t o t r y har d t o be l i ked. How coul d t hat even be possi bl e? They wer e queen bees and t hey knew i t . They al ways got t hey want ed. Al ways. But l i f e was pr obabl y har d f or t hem t oo, i n i t s own way. I t al ways i s. The bat hr oom was empt y. Fi nal l y, Phi l omena t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. Phi l omena j i ggl ed t he t oi l et handl e. The l i br ar y was empt y. Fi nal l y, Vi vi anna t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. The mahogany wor k desk r emi nded her of her mot her . Bar f . Par t of her , a l ar ger par t t han she car ed t o admi t , want ed t o smash i t . Ki ah l ooked ar ound t he ki t chen. She st ar ed at t he oven uncompr ehendi ngl y. Thi ngs. The house was f ul l of t hi ngs . When she got ol d enough t o have a house, she' d own not hi ng. Af t er some t i me, Gal e f ound her sel f i n t he gr eat hal l . Gal e st ar ed down t he hal l , whi ch seemed l onger t han i t had any r i ght t o be. Af t er some t i me, Di t a f ound her sel f i n t he gar age. The BMW r emi nded her of her mot her .
Bar f . Why she not i ced i n t he f i r st pl ace was beyond her . Vi vi anna l ooked ar ound t he l i br ar y . She dut i f ul l y avoi ded t he bookshel f out of some pr i mal r espect f or i t s ot her ness. Why she not i ced i n t he f i r st pl ace was beyond her . Af t er some t i me, Dar by f ound her sel f i n t he mast er bedr oom. " Wow, check out t hat t eak dr esser , " she sai d t o no one i n par t i cul ar . She was hopi ng i t woul d di st r act her , i f f or some br i ef moment , f r om her l i f e. " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he back yar d al l t o mysel f , " t hought Ki ah. " Wow, check out t hat l awn f ur ni t ur e, " s he sai d t o no one i n par t i cul ar . She di dn' t gi ve i t a second t hought . She t hought about school , and how Dar by and Ki ah t hought t hey wer e so much bet t er t han ever yone el se. Di d t hey secr et l y l i ke her af t er al l ? I t di dn' t mat t er anyway. They wer e al ways l aughi ng wi t h t hei r per f ect f r i ends. They al ways got t hey want ed. Al ways. But l i f e was pr obabl y har d f or t hem t oo, i n i t s own way. I t al ways i s. Di d t hey suspect she t hought about t hem so much? The bat hr oom hel d t wo i t ems of i nt er est t o Gal e: t he naut i cal t hemed shower cur t ai n and Phi l omena. " Why woul d you ever get t he super man symbol t at t ooed on you ?" Phi l omena l aughed. " because I get t at t ooed when I ' m r eal l y down and sad. " " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he gr eat hal l al l t o mysel f , " t hought Phi l omena. Phi l omena t ook of f her shoes, got a r unni ng st ar t , a sl i d i n her socks down t he sl i ck har dwood f l oor s. Di t a ent er ed t he f r ont yar d. She st ar ed at t he t r ee uncompr ehendi ngl y. Par t of her , a l ar ger par t t han s he car ed t o admi t , want ed t o smash i t . " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he mast er bedr oom al l t o mysel f , " t hought Dar by. The ki ng si zed bed r emi nded her of her mot her . Bar f . Thi ngs. The house was f ul l of t hi ngs. When she got ol d enough t o have a house, she' d own not hi ng. Ki ah ent er ed t he gar age. Ki ah peer ed i n t he car door f or some ki nd of cl ue as t o whose house t hi s was.
Af t er some t i me, Gal e f ound her sel f i n t he bat hr oom. The t oi l et caught her eye. She t hought i t was t he ugl i est t hi ng she' d ever seen. Thi ngs. The house was f ul l of t hi ngs. When she got ol d enough t o have a house, she' d own not hi ng. She t hought about school , and how Ki ah and Vi vi anna never t al k ed t o her . How coul d t hat even be possi bl e? They wer e al ways l aughi ng wi t h t hei r per f ect f r i ends. But l i f e was pr obabl y har d f or t hem t oo, i n i t s own way. I t al ways i s. Phi l omena l ooked ar ound t he guest bedr oom. Phi l omena guessed t hat t hi s was t he most bor i ng r oom i n t he house. The f oyer was empt y. Fi nal l y, Vi vi anna t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. The s i de t abl e caught her eye. She t hought i t was t he ugl i est t hi ng she' d ever seen. She hear d a noi se f r om somewher e el se i n t he house. As Ki ah ent er ed t he gr eat hal l , she saw Gal e maki ng t r oubl e. Ki ah eyed Gal e' s t eal shi r t wi t h envy . She t hought about Gal e. Gal e and t hat t eal shi r t of her s. She l oved her so damn much. She want ed t hat shi r t . Not hi ng el se woul d do. Why c oul dn' t she be mor e l i ke her ? Maybe i f t hey coul d j ust be r eal wi t h each ot her f or once. . . Just t hi nki ng about i t made her want t o puke. Phi l omena ent er ed t he guest bedr oom. Phi l omena guessed t hat t hi s was t he most bor i ng r oom i n t he house. The f oyer was empt y. Fi nal l y, Di t a t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. Di t a debat ed j ust l eavi ng t he house. The gr eat hal l was empt y. Fi nal l y, Ki ah t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. Ki ah t ook of f her shoes , got a r unni ng st ar t , a s l i d i n her socks down t he sl i ck har dwood f l oor s. The bat hr oom was empt y. Fi nal l y, Gal e t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. She st ar ed at t he t oi l et uncompr ehendi ngl y. She was hopi ng i t woul d di st r act her , i f f or some br i ef moment , f r om her l i f e. " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he f r ont yar d al l t o mysel f , " t hought Vi vi anna. " Wow, check out t hat t r ee, "
she sai d t o no one i n par t i cul ar . She was hopi ng i t woul d di st r act her , i f f or some br i ef moment , f r om her l i f e. She t hought about school , and how Phi l omena and Dar by got bet t er gr ades t han her . Why di d t hey l eave whenever she ent er ed a r oom? Wer e t hey j eal ous of her somehow? Not l i kel y. Di d t hey secr et l y l i ke her af t er al l ? I t di dn' t mat t er anyway. They wer e queen bees and t hey knew i t . They al ways got t hey want ed. Al ways. Ki ah ent er ed t he guest bedr oom. The set of cur t ai ns r emi nded her of her mot her . Bar f . Why she not i ced i n t he f i r st pl ace was beyond her . The bat hr oom was empt y. Fi nal l y, Gal e t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. She not i ced t he f r amed phot o of a f i sh. Ki nda t acky. Why she not i ced i n t he f i r st pl ace was bey ond her . Phi l omena encount er ed Dar by i n t he gr eat hal l . Phi l omena l ooked concer ned. " why woul d you keep dwel l i ng on t hat shi t ?" she asked. " because I want t o be happy, " sai d Dar by. Phi l omena ent er ed t he gr eat hal l t o f i nd Ki ah st andi ng t her e. " Wher e di d you get t hat wat ch, Ki ah?" Ki ah i gnor ed her . As Di t a ent er ed t he gr eat hal l , she saw Ki ah maki ng t r oubl e. Ki ah st i f f ened and began t o r ambl e, not not i ci ng Di t a, as i f i n a f ugue st at e. " We wer e i n wr i t i ng cl ass, and we had t o wr i t e a br i ef speech because we wer e goi ng t o t hi s f uner al . I t was f or my f r i end Ni na' s gr andf at her who j ust di ed. We al l wer e si t t i ng ar ound a t abl e r eadi ng our speeches . One of t he l i nes i n my speech was " Even t hough I don' t know you, I f eel your pai n. " We t hen got up t o go t o t he f uner al . " Dar by ent er ed t he l i br ar y. Dar by f l i pped t hr ough some books. Af t er some t i me, Gal e f ound her sel f i n t he bat hr oom. She dut i f ul l y avoi ded t he f r amed phot o of a f i sh out of some pr i mal r espect f or i t s ot her ness. Why she not i ced i n t he f i r st pl ace was beyond her . " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he bat hr oom al l t o mysel f , " t hought Phi l omena. Phi l omena l ooked ar ound f or t ampons, f i ndi ng none. Vi vi anna br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he f r ont yar d. She not i ced t he l awn. Ki nda
t acky . She was hopi ng i t woul d di s t r act her , i f f or some br i ef moment , f r om her l i f e. Dar by br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he f oyer . She st ar ed at t he si de t abl e uncompr ehendi ngl y. Why she not i ced i n t he f i r st pl ace was beyond her . As Di t a ent er ed t he gr eat hal l , she saw Phi l omena maki ng t r oubl e. Di t a avoi ded Phi l omena. The l i br ar y was empt y. Fi nal l y, Dar by t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. She dut i f ul l y avoi ded t he mahogany wor k desk out of some pr i mal r espect f or i t s ot her ness. She di dn' t gi ve i t a second t hought . Gal e f ound Phi l omena i n t he gr eat hal l . Phi l omena was c r yi ng. Gal e act ed on i nst i nct . " Tel l me al l about i t . " she sai d. Phi l omena obl i ged i n an unbecomi ng out pour i ng. " I don' t r emember any det ai l s about t hi s dr eam. I j ust know t hey wer e goi ng t o dr af t 7 women i n t he ar my ( Vi et nam war ) and t hey went down t he l i ne of women and sai d, " Do you want t o f i ght f or your count r y?" I wasn' t i n t he dr eam. I t was l i ke I was wat chi ng i t happen. " Phi l omena ent er ed t he gr eat hal l . Ki ah was t her e, as i f wai t i ng. " What i s t he best t r eat ment f or hi ves?" " Pr i ncess t r eat ment , " sai d Ki ah. Vi vi anna l ooked ar ound t he f r ont y ar d. Vi vi anna st ar t ed t o c l i mb t he t r ee, t hen t hought bet t er of i t . Dar by ent er ed t he l i br ar y. Ki ah was t her e, as i f wai t i ng. Ki ah l ooked di r ect l y at Dar by. " I had t he wei r dest dr eam, " she sai d. " I dr ove i n my f r i end Chl oe' s car and her mom dr opped us of f on some unr ecogni zabl e r oad. Chl oe, anot her f r i end, and I pl ayed on t he st r eet f or a whi l e, t hen r ol l er bl aded ( or maybe i ce skat ed) t o l i ke a movi e t heat er / bar / di sco. The movi e pl ayi ng was a hor r or movi e. As I l ef t wal ked t hr ough t he bar i nt o t he di s co. Chl oe and Robi n event ual l y j oi ned me, t hen Chl oe' s mom pi cked us up agai n, and dr opped us of f at t he r oad we' d st ar t ed on. We t hen di scover ed t hat one of t he houses on t he bl ock bel onged t o our pr i nci pal . Then we st ol e a bot t l e of Peach Nect ar i ne spar kl i ng j ui ce t hat was out si de hi s house, dr ank mos t of i t . . . I can' t r emember past t her e. . . " Ki ah wal ked i nt o t he l i br ar y and saw Dar by. Gr eat . Dar by l ooked di r ect l y at Ki ah. " I had t he wei r des t dr eam, "
she sai d. " Fi r st I was t al ki ng t o my gr andma, t hen we wer e t r yi ng t o f i nd a seat i n t hi s huge l ect ur e hal l . Then I sat down i n t he f i r st r ow next t o my cousi n. Then t hi s l ady came wi t h a t r ay and gave me a cup of or ange j ui ce and a cup of soda. I was hol di ng bot h and I coul dn' t bal ance mysel f at al l . I f i nal l y got t he cups under my seat . Then I was ki nd of nowher e but my cous i n was t el l i ng me her f ami l y was goi ng wi t h mi ne t o t he shoppi ng cent er . " Gal e and Di t a r an i nt o each ot her i n t he gr eat hal l . " why do you deser ve t o ent er heaven ?" Gal e demanded. " because I ' m a woman, " sai d Di t a. Phi l omena encount er ed Ki ah i n t he gr eat hal l . Phi l omena s t ar ed at Ki ah suspi ci ousl y. She t hought about school , and how Ki ah and Vi vi anna wer e such t ot al bi t ches. Wer e t hey j eal ous of her somehow? Not l i kel y. How coul d t hat even be possi bl e? Di d t hey secr et l y l i ke her af t er al l ? I t di dn' t mat t er anyway. They wal ked ar ound t he school l i ke t hey owned t he pl ace. They never i nvi t ed her t o par t i es; i t was a f l uke she ended up at t hi s one. They al ways got t hey want ed. Al ways. Vi vi anna ent er ed t he f oyer . Vi vi anna debat ed j ust l eavi ng t he house. She t hought about Phi l omena. She envi ed her so damn much. I t was al most t oo much t o deal wi t h. Nobody r eal l y knew how she f el t . Just t hi nki ng about i t made her want t o puke. Why di d she come t o t hi s s t upi d house par t y i n t he f i r st pl ace? The l i br ar y was empt y. Fi nal l y, Dar by t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. Dar by t r i ed and f ai l ed t o open t he l ock on t he desk. Phi l omena ent er ed t he guest bedr oom. She not i ced t he post er of a. . . Monet ?. Ki nda t acky. She hear d a noi se f r om somewher e el se i n t he house. Dar by encount er ed Gal e i n t he gr eat hal l . " Dr eams, " Dar by sai d. " Tel l me about your dr eams. " Gal e al most sai d not hi ng, but t hought bet t er of i t . " I t was a r eal l y wi ndy ni ght . The wi nd bl ew my back door open. My cat got out si de. ( Once out si de, she get s scar ed of peopl e. ) I went out i nt o t he backyar d t o cal l f or her , but i t was r eal l y wi ndy and whenever I woul d cal l f or her t he wi nd woul d car r y my voi ce away. Then she was si t t i ng on t he gar den gat e l aughi ng at me, and I coul dn' t move
t owar ds her because t he wi nd was t oo st r ong. " Vi vi anna br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he l i br ar y. Vi vi anna t r i ed and f ai l ed t o open t he l ock on t he desk. Gal e wal k ed i nt o t he gr eat hal l and saw Di t a. Gr eat . " Wher e di d you get t hat sweat er , Di t a?" Di t a i gnor ed her . She t hought about school , and how Di t a and Vi vi anna wer e such t ot al bi t ches. How coul d t hat even be possi bl e? Di d t hey secr et l y l i ke her af t er al l ? I t di dn' t mat t er anyway. They wal ked ar ound t he school l i ke t hey owned t he pl ace. They never i nvi t ed her t o par t i es; i t was a f l uke she ended up at t hi s one. Di d t hey suspect she t hought about t hem so much? The gr eat hal l hel d t wo i t ems of i nt er est t o Phi l omena: t he t r i bal Af ghan r ug and Ki ah. " What i s t he best r eady made cui si ne ?" " Runny Ready Br ek, " s ai d Ki ah. Di t a l ooked ar ound t he gr eat hal l . Di t a st ar ed down t he hal l , whi ch seemed l onger t han i t had any r i ght t o be. Nobody was i n t he mast er bat hr oom, so Dar by f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. She dut i f ul l y avoi ded t he bl onde onyx bat ht ub out of some pr i mal r espect f or i t s ot her ness. Par t of her , a l ar ger par t t han she car ed t o admi t , want ed t o smash i t . She t hought about Gal e. Gal e and t hat aquamar i ne s ki r t of her s. She l oved her so damn much. Why c oul dn' t she be mor e l i ke her ? Maybe i f t hey coul d j ust be r eal wi t h each ot her f or once. . . Nobody r eal l y knew how she f el t . " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he bat hr oom al l t o mysel f , " t hought Ki ah. Ki ah j i ggl ed t he t oi l et handl e. She t hought about school , and how Phi l omena and Vi vi anna di dn' t have t o t r y har d t o be l i ked. Why di d t hey l eave whenever she ent er ed a r oom? Wer e t hey j eal ous of her somehow? Not l i kel y. How coul d t hat even be possi bl e? They wal ked ar ound t he s c hool l i ke t hey owned t he pl ace. They wer e queen bees and t hey knew i t . They never i nvi t ed her t o par t i es; i t was a f l uke she ended up at t hi s one. They al ways got t hey want ed. Al ways.
Di d t hey s uspect she t hought about t hem so much? " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he guest bedr oom al l t o mysel f , " t hought Gal e. Gal e guessed t hat t hi s was t he most bor i ng r oom i n t he house. Vi vi anna f ound Phi l omena i n t he l i br ar y. Phi l omena ent er ed t he l i br ar y. She st ar ed at t he mahogany wor k desk uncompr ehendi ngl y. Par t of her , a l ar ger par t t han she car ed t o admi t , want ed t o smash i t . Vi vi anna br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he f oyer . Vi vi anna debat ed j ust l eavi ng t he house. Gal e br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he guest bedr oom. Gal e i magi ned what ki nd of peopl e had st ayed i n t he bed. How many peopl e had had sex i n i t ? She t hought about school , and how Di t a and Gal e di dn' t have t o t r y har d t o be l i ked. Di d t hey secr et l y l i ke her af t er al l ? I t di dn' t mat t er anyway. They wal ked ar ound t he s chool l i ke t hey owned t he pl ace. The gr eat hal l hel d t wo i t ems of i nt er est t o Di t a: t he f ami l y por t r ai t and Ki ah. Di t a l ooked cr oss. " What ' s t he best f r ee t ext edi t or t hese days?" she asked. " Bynum. " The gr eat hal l hel d t wo i t ems of i nt er est t o Ki ah: t he f ami l y por t r ai t and Di t a. " what ' s your f avour i t e appl e desser t ?" " Red del i ci ous. " Af t er some t i me, Phi l omena f ound her sel f i n t he l i br ar y. Phi l omena t r i ed and f ai l ed t o open t he l ock on t he desk. She t hought about Ki ah. Ki ah and t hat f ashi onabl e pur se of her s. She l i ked her so damn much. Why coul dn' t she be mor e l i ke her ? Nobody r eal l y knew how she f el t . Vi vi anna ent er ed t he f oyer . Vi vi anna debat ed j ust l eavi ng t he house. " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he gr eat hal l al l t o mysel f , " t hought Dar by. Dar by t ook of f her shoes, got a
r unni ng st ar t , a sl i d i n her socks down t he sl i ck har dwood f l oor s. Ki ah br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he mast er bedr oom. She not i ced t he t eak dr esser . Ki nda t acky. She wi shed t he booze woul d ki ck i n. Gal e ent er ed t he guest bedr oom. Di t a was t her e, as i f wai t i ng. " why do you f ol l ow me?" Di t a r ecoi l ed. " because I don' t f ol l ow t hem back. " The l i br ar y was empt y. Fi nal l y, Phi l omena t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. The next t hi ng she saw was t he bookshel f , whi ch l ef t her f eel i ng di squi et ed. She wi shed t he booze woul d ki ck i n. Di t a ent er ed t he gr eat hal l . The f ami l y por t r ai t r emi nded her of her mot her . Bar f . She wi shed t he booze woul d ki ck i n. She t hought about school , and how Gal e and Vi vi anna di dn' t hav e t o t r y har d t o be l i ked. Why di d t hey l eave whenever she ent er ed a r oom? Di d t hey secr et l y l i ke her af t er al l ? I t di dn' t mat t er anyway. They wer e al ways l aughi ng wi t h t hei r per f ect f r i ends. Di d t hey suspect s he t hought about t hem so much? Af t er some t i me, Dar by f ound her sel f i n t he bat hr oom. The f r amed phot o of a f i sh c aught her eye. She t hought i t was t he ugl i est t hi ng she' d ever seen. She di dn' t gi ve i t a s econd t hought . Nobody was i n t he guest bedr oom, so Gal e f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. Gal e i magi ned what ki nd of peopl e had st ayed i n t he bed. How many peopl e had had sex i n i t ? Af t er some t i me, Vi vi anna f ound her sel f i n t he l i vi ng r oom. The cof f ee t abl e caught her eye. She t hought i t was t he ugl i est t hi ng she' d ever seen. Thi ngs. The house was f ul l of t hi ngs. When she got ol d enough t o have a house, she' d own not hi ng. She t hought about school , and how Phi l omena and Di t a had mor e money t han she di d. Why di d t hey l eave whenever she ent er ed a r oom? Wer e t hey j eal ous of her somehow? Not l i kel y. They wer e al ways l aughi ng wi t h t hei r per f ect f r i ends. They never i nvi t ed her t o par t i es; i t was a f l uke she ended up at t hi s one. But l i f e was pr obabl y har d f or t hem t oo, i n i t s own way. I t al ways i s. The mast er bat hr oom was empt y. Fi nal l y, Ki ah t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk . She
dut i f ul l y avoi ded t he bl onde onyx t oi l et out of some pr i mal r espect f or i t s ot her ness . Thi ngs. The house was f ul l of t hi ngs. When she got ol d enough t o have a house, she' d own not hi ng. " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he di ni ng r oom al l t o mysel f , " t hought Vi vi anna. She st ar ed at t he si l ver war e uncompr ehendi ngl y. Par t of her , a l ar ger par t t han she car ed t o admi t , want ed t o smash i t . Gal e wal k ed i nt o t he gr eat hal l and saw Di t a. Gr eat . Gal e eyed Di t a' s i ncr edi bl e sweat er wi t h envy . Di t a encount er ed Gal e i n t he gr eat hal l . " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he bat hr oom al l t o mysel f , " t hought Di t a. She dut i f ul l y avoi ded t he naut i cal t hemed shower cur t ai n out of some pr i mal r espect f or i t s ot her ness. She hear d a noi se f r om somewher e el se i n t he house. Af t er some t i me, Vi vi anna f ound her sel f i n t he back yar d. She dut i f ul l y avoi ded t he l awn f ur ni t ur e out of some pr i mal r espect f or i t s ot her ness. Par t of her , a l ar ger par t t han she car ed t o admi t , want ed t o smash i t . Af t er some t i me, Di t a f ound her sel f i n t he bat hr oom. Di t a r el i eved her sel f . She t hought about school , and how Vi vi anna and Gal e di dn' t have t o t r y har d t o be l i ked. Why di d t hey l eave whenever she ent er ed a r oom? How coul d t hat even be possi bl e? They wer e al ways l aughi ng wi t h t hei r per f ect f r i ends. They wal ked ar ound t he school l i ke t hey owned t he pl ace. They wer e queen bees and t hey knew i t . Vi vi anna br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he gar age. Vi vi anna t r i ed t o j i mmy t he l ock on t he car and ended up set t i ng of f t he al ar m. Whoops. She t hought about Phi l omena. She hat ed her so damn much. She want ed t hat phone. Not hi ng el se woul d do. I t was al most t oo much t o deal wi t h. Why di d ever yone want t o be l i ke her ? J ust t hi nki ng about i t made her want t o puke. Af t er some t i me, Dar by f ound her sel f i n t he guest bedr oom. " Wow, check out t hat bed, " she sai d t o no one i n par t i c ul ar . She di dn' t gi ve i t a second t hought .
The gr eat hal l hel d t wo i t ems of i nt er est t o Phi l omena: t he f ami l y por t r ai t and Ki ah. Ki ah f ound Phi l omena i n t he gr eat hal l . " What ' s t he best gi f t f or my best f r i end?" " Vi ct or i a Secr et and LOVE PI NK. " Af t er some t i me, Phi l omena f ound her sel f i n t he l i br ar y. The next t hi ng she saw was t he mahogany wor k desk, whi ch l ef t her f eel i ng di squi et ed. She wi shed t he booze woul d ki ck i n. She t hought about s chool , and how Ki ah and Vi vi anna never t al ked t o her . How coul d t hat even be possi bl e? They wal ked ar ound t he school l i ke t hey owned t he pl ace. They wer e queen bees and t hey knew i t . They never i nvi t ed her t o par t i es; i t was a f l uke she ended up at t hi s one. But l i f e was pr obabl y har d f or t hem t oo, i n i t s own way. I t al ways i s. Af t er some t i me, Di t a f ound her sel f i n t he gr eat hal l . The f ami l y por t r ai t r emi nded her of her mot her . Bar f . Why she not i ced i n t he f i r st pl ace was beyond her . Af t er some t i me, Vi vi anna f ound her sel f i n t he f r ont yar d. She not i ced t he l awn. Ki nda t acky. She hear d a noi se f r om somewher e el se i n t he house. She t hought about school , and how Ki ah and Vi vi anna never t al ked t o her . Why di d t hey l eave whenever she ent er ed a r oom? Di d t hey s ecr et l y l i ke her af t er al l ? I t di dn' t mat t er anyway. They wer e al ways l aughi ng wi t h t hei r per f ec t f r i ends. They never i nv i t ed her t o par t i es; i t was a f l uke she ended up at t hi s one. But l i f e was pr obabl y har d f or t hem t oo, i n i t s own way . I t al ways i s. " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he guest bedr oom al l t o mysel f , " t hought Dar by. She st ar ed at t he set of cur t ai ns uncompr ehendi ngl y. Thi ngs. The house was f ul l of t hi ngs. When she got ol d enough t o have a house, she' d own not hi ng. She t hought about school , and how Vi vi anna and Ki ah had mor e money t han she di d. Wer e t hey j eal ous of her somehow? Not l i kel y. How coul d t hat even be possi bl e? They wer e al ways l aughi ng wi t h t hei r per f ect f r i ends. They wal ked ar ound t he school l i ke t hey owned t he pl ace. They wer e queen bees and t hey knew i t . Gal e br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he mast er bat hr oom. She not i ced t he bl onde onyx bat ht ub. Ki nda t ac ky. Why she not i ced i n t he f i r st pl ace was beyond her .
Nobody was i n t he f oyer , so Phi l omena f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. Phi l omena debat ed j us t l eavi ng t he house. The f r ont y ar d was empt y. Fi nal l y, Vi vi anna t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. She not i c ed t he t r ee. Ki nda t acky. Par t of her , a l ar ger par t t han she car ed t o admi t , want ed t o smash i t . Dar by ent er ed t he guest bedr oom. Dar by guessed t hat t hi s was t he most bor i ng r oom i n t he house. Phi l omena ent er ed t he f oyer . Vi vi anna was t her e, as i f wai t i ng. Phi l omena avoi ded Vi vi anna. Nobody was i n t he l i br ar y, so Di t a f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. Di t a t r i ed and f ai l ed t o open t he l ock on t he desk. Dar by l ook ed ar ound t he gr eat hal l . Dar by st ar ed down t he hal l , whi ch seemed l onger t han i t had any r i ght t o be. Gal e ent er ed t he mast er bedr oom t o f i nd Ki ah st andi ng t her e. Gal e pl ayed ner vous l y wi t h her ski r t i n a successf ul bi d t o avoi d t al ki ng t o Ki ah. She t hought about Ki ah. Ki ah and t hat ost ent at i ous wat ch of her s. She want ed t hat wat ch. Not hi ng el se woul d do. Nobody r eal l y knew how she f el t . Why di d ever yone want t o be l i ke her ? Why di d she come t o t hi s st upi d house par t y i n t he f i r st pl ace? Ki ah encount er ed Gal e i n t he mas t er bedr oom. Ki ah seemed concer ned. " Why do my cat s t r y t o di g on t he couch cushi ons?" she demanded. " because I spend t he maj or i t y of my t i me l ooki ng f or my pen t hat ' s l ost i n t he cushi ons t han act ual l y s t udyi ng, " sai d Gal e. The f oyer was empt y. Fi nal l y, Phi l omena t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. She dut i f ul l y avoi ded t he chandel i er out of some pr i mal r espect f or i t s ot her ness. She was hopi ng i t woul d di s t r act her , i f f or some br i ef moment , f r om her l i f e.
Af t er some t i me, Vi vi anna f ound her sel f i n t he f r ont yar d. " Wow, check out t hat t r ee, " she sai d t o no one i n par t i c ul ar . She hear d a noi se f r om somewher e el se i n t he house. She t hought about Dar by. She l oved her so damn much. I t was al most t oo much t o deal wi t h. Why di d ev er yone want t o be l i ke her ? Ki ah wal k ed i nt o t he gr eat hal l and saw Gal e. Gr eat . Ki ah pl ayed ner vousl y wi t h her wat ch i n a succes sf ul bi d t o avoi d t al ki ng t o Gal e. Gal e and Ki ah r an i nt o each ot her i n t he gr eat hal l . Gal e avoi ded Ki ah. Dar by and Di t a r an i nt o each ot her i n t he l i br ar y. " What i s t he best MOVI E you' ve ever wat ched?" Di t a r ecoi l ed. " Pi r at es of t he Car i bbean. " Phi l omena ent er ed t he f oyer t o f i nd Di t a st andi ng t her e. Phi l omena st ar ed at Di t a suspi ci ous l y. Af t er some t i me, Vi vi anna f ound her sel f i n t he f r ont yar d. Vi vi anna r an her f i nger s t hr ough t he wel l mani cur ed gr ass, dr eami ng of bet t er days. Ki ah br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he mast er bedr oom. She st ar ed at t he t eak dr esser uncompr ehendi ngl y. She wi shed t he booze woul d ki ck i n. Gal e l ook ed ar ound t he gr eat hal l . She not i ced t he t r i bal Af ghan r ug. Ki nda t acky. Thi ngs. The house was f ul l of t hi ngs. When she got ol d enough t o have a house, she' d own not hi ng. She t hought about school , and how Dar by and Di t a never t al ked t o her . How coul d t hat even be possi bl e? Di d t hey secr et l y l i ke her af t er al l ? I t di dn' t mat t er anyway. They never i nvi t ed her t o par t i es; i t was a f l uke she ended up at t hi s one. But l i f e was pr obabl y har d f or t hem t oo, i n i t s own way. I t al ways i s. Di d t hey suspect she t hought about t hem so much? Di t a f ound Dar by i n t he f oyer . " What ' s t he best advi ce you' ve ever been gi ven?" Di t a asked. " Advi ce about l i f e f r om st r anger s t hat you never even caught t he name of , " sai d Dar by.
Di t a ent er ed t he l i vi ng r oom. She not i ced t he f l at scr een TV. Ki nda t acky. Why she not i ced i n t he f i r st pl ace was beyond her . She t hought about school , and how Gal e and Dar by never t al ked t o her . Wer e t hey j eal ous of her somehow? Not l i kel y. They never i nvi t ed her t o par t i es; i t was a f l uke she ended up at t hi s one. They al ways got t hey want ed. Al ways. Di d t hey suspect she t hought about t hem so much? " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he f r ont yar d al l t o mysel f , " t hought Vi vi anna. She dut i f ul l y avoi ded t he t r ee out of some pr i mal r espect f or i t s ot her ness. She di dn' t gi ve i t a second t hought . Gal e br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he gr eat hal l . The t r i bal Af ghan r ug r emi nded her of her mot her . Bar f . She hear d a noi se f r om somewher e el se i n t he house. Af t er some t i me, Vi vi anna f ound her sel f i n t he gar age. Vi vi anna consi der ed get t i ng on t hat l awnmower and r i di ng i t out of t hi s pl ace. Nobody was i n t he gr eat hal l , so Gal e f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. She st ar ed at t he f ami l y por t r ai t uncompr ehendi ngl y. She was hopi ng i t woul d di st r act her , i f f or some br i ef moment , f r om her l i f e. The l i br ar y hel d t wo i t ems of i nt er est t o Dar by: t he mahogany wor k desk and Phi l omena. Dar by appear ed concer ned. " what ' s your f avour i t e memor y of t hi s year s r ugby t weet us her e?" she asked. " Danci ng wi t h you i n my ki t chen. " Phi l omena br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he l i br ar y. Phi l omena f l i pped t hr ough some book s. Vi vi anna ent er ed t he back yar d. The gas gr i l l r emi nded her of her mot her . Bar f . She was hopi ng i t woul d di st r act her , i f f or s ome br i ef moment , f r om her l i f e. She t hought about school , and how Dar by and Vi vi anna had mor e money t han she di d. How coul d t hat even be possi bl e? They wer e queen bees and t hey knew i t . They never i nvi t ed her t o par t i es; i t was a f l uk e she ended up at t hi s one. But l i f e was pr obabl y har d f or t hem t oo, i n i t s own way. I t al ways i s.
Dar by ent er ed t he gr eat hal l . The f ami l y por t r ai t r emi nded her of her mot her . Bar f . She di dn' t gi ve i t a second t hought . She t hought about school , and how Di t a and Vi vi anna got bet t er gr ades t han her . How coul d t hat even be possi bl e? They wal ked ar ound t he s chool l i ke t hey owned t he pl ace. They wer e queen bees and t hey knew i t . They never i nvi t ed her t o par t i es; i t was a f l uke she ended up at t hi s one. " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he bat hr oom al l t o mysel f , " t hought Gal e. Gal e was af r ai d, as she al ways was, t hat a mur der er l ay i n ambus h behi nd t he shower cur t ai n. Vi vi anna ent er ed t he di ni ng r oom. The si l ver war e r emi nded her of her mot her . Bar f . She was hopi ng i t woul d di s t r act her , i f f or some br i ef moment , f r om her l i f e. Nobody was i n t he l i br ar y, so Phi l omena f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. She not i c ed t he mahogany wor k desk. Ki nda t acky. She hear d a noi se f r om somewher e el se i n t he house. Di t a br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n s i ght s of t he gar age. Di t a t r i ed t o j i mmy t he l ock on t he car and ended up set t i ng of f t he al ar m. Whoops. Ki ah ent er ed t he gr eat hal l . Gal e was t her e, as i f wai t i ng. " why woul d you bel i eve ever yt hi ng you hear when peopl e t al k so muc h shi t e now a days?" Ki ah i nqui r ed. Gal e yel l ed. " because i ' ve l ear ned you can' t t r ust t el l i ng ever yt hi ng t o one per son. " Gal e and Ki ah r an i nt o each ot her i n t he gr eat hal l . " what ' s your f avour i t e appl e desser t ?" Gal e i nqui r ed. " Honey Cr i sp, " sai d Ki ah. Phi l omena l ooked ar ound t he f oyer . " Wow, check out t hat c handel i er , " she sai d t o no one i n par t i cul ar . She was hopi ng i t woul d di st r act her , i f f or some br i ef moment , f r om her l i f e. Gal e l ook ed ar ound t he bat hr oom. Gal e r el i eved her sel f . She t hought about Gal e. Gal e and t hat aquamar i ne ski r t of her s. She hat ed her so damn much. She want ed t hat shi r t . Not hi ng el se woul d do. Maybe i f t hey coul d j ust be r eal wi t h each ot her f or once. . . Just t hi nki ng
about i t made her want t o puke. Why di d she come t o t hi s st upi d house par t y i n t he f i r st pl ace? " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he l i br ar y al l t o mysel f , " t hought Phi l omena. Phi l omena t r i ed and f ai l ed t o open t he l ock on t he desk. Di t a l ooked ar ound t he back yar d. She not i ced t he l awn f ur ni t ur e. Ki nda t acky. Thi ngs. The house was f ul l of t hi ngs . When she got ol d enough t o have a house, she' d own not hi ng. Af t er some t i me, Vi vi anna f ound her sel f i n t he di ni ng r oom. " Wow, check out t hat di ni ng r oom t abl e, " she sai d t o no one i n par t i cul ar . She was hopi ng i t woul d di st r act her , i f f or some br i ef moment , f r om her l i f e. She t hought about school , and how Vi vi anna and Gal e t hought t hey wer e so much bet t er t han ever yone el se. Why di d t hey l eave whenev er she ent er ed a r oom? How coul d t hat ev en be possi bl e? They wal ked ar ound t he school l i ke t hey owned t he pl ace. They wer e queen bees and t hey knew i t . They never i nvi t ed her t o par t i es; i t was a f l uke she ended up at t hi s one. They al ways got t hey want ed. Al ways. But l i f e was pr obabl y har d f or t hem t oo, i n i t s own way. I t al ways i s. Di d t hey suspect she t hought about t hem so much? The gr eat hal l was empt y. Fi nal l y, Ki ah t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. Ki ah t ook of f her shoes , got a r unni ng st ar t , a s l i d i n her socks down t he sl i ck har dwood f l oor s. She t hought about school , and how Phi l omena and Ki ah never t al ked t o her . How coul d t hat even be possi bl e? Di d t hey secr et l y l i ke her af t er al l ? I t di dn' t mat t er anyway. They wer e al ways l aughi ng wi t h t hei r per f ect f r i ends. They wal ked ar ound t he school l i ke t hey owned t he pl ace. They never i nvi t ed her t o par t i es; i t was a f l uke she ended up at t hi s one. But l i f e was pr obabl y har d f or t hem t oo, i n i t s own way. I t al ways i s. " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he bat hr oom al l t o mysel f , " t hought Gal e. Gal e was af r ai d, as she al ways was, t hat a mur der er l ay i n ambus h behi nd t he shower cur t ai n. Af t er some t i me, Phi l omena f ound her sel f i n t he gr eat hal l . The next t hi ng she saw was t he f ami l y por t r ai t , whi ch l ef t her f eel i ng di squi et ed. She di dn' t gi ve i t a second t hought . The mast er bat hr oom was empt y. Fi nal l y, Dar by t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. She
not i c ed t he bl onde onyx bat ht ub. Ki nda t acky. Par t of her , a l ar ger par t t han she car ed t o admi t , want ed t o smas h i t . She t hought about Gal e. Gal e and t hat t eal shi r t of her s. She want ed t hat ski r t . Not hi ng el se woul d do. Why di d ever yone want t o be l i ke her ? Jus t t hi nk i ng about i t made her want t o puke. Nobody was i n t he bat hr oom, so Gal e f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. She dut i f ul l y avoi ded t he f r amed phot o of a f i sh out of some pr i mal r espect f or i t s ot her ness. Par t of her , a l ar ger par t t han she car ed t o admi t , want ed t o smash i t . Af t er some t i me, Phi l omena f ound her sel f i n t he gr eat hal l . Phi l omena t ook of f her s hoes, got a r unni ng st ar t , a sl i d i n her socks down t he sl i ck har dwood f l oor s. Vi vi anna ent er ed t he l i v i ng r oom. Vi vi anna bounced on t he sof a, hopi ng t o r ecapt ur e her chi l dhood i nnocence. She t hought about school , and how Vi vi anna and Gal e di dn' t have t o t r y har d t o be l i ked. Wer e t hey j eal ous of her somehow? Not l i kel y. They never i nvi t ed her t o par t i es; i t was a f l uke she ended up at t hi s one. They al ways got t hey want ed. Al ways. Gal e l ook ed ar ound t he bat hr oom. The next t hi ng she saw was t he t oi l et , whi ch l ef t her f eel i ng di squi et ed. She wi shed t he booze woul d ki ck i n. Vi vi anna l ooked ar ound t he f oyer . Vi vi anna debat ed j ust l eavi ng t he house. She t hought about school , and how Phi l omena and Dar by wer e such t ot al bi t ches. How coul d t hat even be possi bl e? They wer e al ways l aughi ng wi t h t hei r per f ect f r i ends. They never i nvi t ed her t o par t i es; i t was a f l uke she ended up at t hi s one. The mast er bat hr oom was empt y. Fi nal l y, Dar by t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. " Wow, check out t hat bl onde onyx count er t op, " she sai d t o no one i n par t i cul ar . Par t of her , a l ar ger par t t han she c ar ed t o admi t , want ed t o smash i t . Gal e encount er ed Phi l omena i n t he gr eat hal l . " What i s t he best hai r t o get f or my bob?" asked Gal e. " Gr ay. " Nobody was i n t he f oyer , so Vi vi anna f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. Vi v i anna
debat ed j ust l eavi ng t he house. Ki ah f ound Gal e i n t he gr eat hal l . Ki ah eyed Gal e' s t eal shi r t wi t h envy. Phi l omena f ound Dar by i n t he mast er bedr oom. " Why do you sur r ound your sel f wi t h t hese peopl es?" asked Phi l omena. " because I ' m t r yi ng t o sur r ound mysel f wi t h t he r i ght peopl e, i f t hey don' t have your back f r om t he get go t hen deuces, " sai d Dar by. As Gal e ent er ed t he gr eat hal l , she saw Ki ah maki ng t r oubl e. " What i s your f avor i t e cook i ng s how?" i nqui r ed Gal e. " Chopped. " Af t er some t i me, Phi l omena f ound her sel f i n t he mast er bat hr oom. " Wow, check out t hat bl onde ony x t oi l et , " she sai d t o no one i n par t i cul ar . She di dn' t gi ve i t a second t hought . Di t a br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n s i ght s of t he l i vi ng r oom. She dut i f ul l y avoi ded t he f l at scr een TV out of some pr i mal r espect f or i t s ot her ness. She was hopi ng i t woul d di st r act her , i f f or some br i ef moment , f r om her l i f e. She t hought about Ki ah. Ki ah and t hat ost ent at i ous wat ch of her s. She envi ed her so damn much. I t was al most t oo much t o deal wi t h. Why c oul dn' t she be mor e l i k e her ? Maybe i f t hey coul d j ust be r eal wi t h each ot her f or once. . . Nobody r eal l y knew how she f el t . Just t hi nki ng about i t made her want t o puke. Why di d s he come t o t hi s st upi d house par t y i n t he f i r st pl ace? Vi vi anna l ooked ar ound t he f r ont y ar d. Vi vi anna st ar t ed t o c l i mb t he t r ee, t hen t hought bet t er of i t . Gal e l ook ed ar ound t he bat hr oom. She st ar ed at t he naut i cal t hemed shower cur t ai n uncompr ehendi ngl y. She di dn' t gi v e i t a second t hought . She t hought about Di t a. She l i ked her so damn much. Nobody r eal l y knew how she f el t . Just t hi nki ng about i t made her want t o puke. Dar by ent er ed t he gr eat hal l . Ki ah was t her e, as i f wai t i ng. Dar by l ooked cr oss. " What ' s t he
best bl og you' ve ever sponsor ed?" she asked. " but whi ch, " sai d Ki ah. " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he l i vi ng r oom al l t o mysel f , " t hought Di t a. Di t a bounced on t he sof a, hopi ng t o r ecapt ur e her chi l dhood i nnocence. Af t er some t i me, Vi vi anna f ound her sel f i n t he f r ont yar d. She dut i f ul l y avoi ded t he l awn out of some pr i mal r espect f or i t s ot her ness. Thi ngs. The house was f ul l of t hi ngs. When she got ol d enough t o have a house, s he' d own not hi ng. Dar by wal k ed i nt o t he gr eat hal l and saw Gal e. Gr eat . " Wher e di d you get t hat shi r t , Gal e?" Gal e i gnor ed her . Gal e f ound Dar by i n t he gr eat hal l . " Dr eams, " Gal e sai d. " Tel l me about your dr eams. " Dar by al most sai d not hi ng, but t hought bet t er of i t . " Al l I r emember was comi ng out of some bui l di ng wi t h Hal ey and seei ng t hi s hel l a cool car ( some l i t t l e cut e r ed spor t s car ) and t hen my mom get s out . My f r i end and I wer e l i ke, " Oh, my god! " and I asked my mom " Wher e' d you get t hat car ?" and she goes, " On 19t h and Sut t er . I coul dn' t f i nd our car so I t ook t hi s one. " So my f r i end and I sai d " cool " and j umped i nt o t he car . Then I woke up. " " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he l i vi ng r oom al l t o mysel f , " t hought Di t a. Di t a t ur ned on t he TV f or a whi l e. She t hought about school , and how Ki ah and Phi l omena had mor e money t han she di d. Why di d t hey l eave whenever she ent er ed a r oom? How coul d t hat even be possi bl e? Di d t hey s ecr et l y l i ke her af t er al l ? I t di dn' t mat t er anyway. They never i nvi t ed her t o par t i es; i t was a f l uke she ended up at t hi s one. Vi vi anna br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he f r ont yar d. " Wow, check out t hat t r ee, " she sai d t o no one i n par t i cul ar . Par t of her , a l ar ger par t t han she car ed t o admi t , want ed t o smash i t . As Gal e ent er ed t he gr eat hal l , she saw Dar by maki ng t r oubl e. " What i s t he best t r eat ment f or hi ves?" Dar by yel l ed. " and so do whi t e gi r l s bc head and a sandwi ch. "
As Ki ah ent er ed t he gr eat hal l , she saw Gal e maki ng t r oubl e. " WHY woul d you si t t her e and f l i r t wi t h her ?" Ki ah asked. Gal e squi r med. " Because I was i n a coma f or t he l ast mi l l i on year s, I JUST st ar t ed wat chi ng Br eaki ng Bad. " Nobody was i n t he l i vi ng r oom, so Di t a f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. The cof f ee t abl e r emi nded her of her mot her . Bar f . She di dn' t gi ve i t a second t hought . She t hought about Ki ah. She want ed t hat wat ch. Not hi ng el se woul d do. I t was al most t oo much t o deal wi t h. Nobody r eal l y knew how she f el t . Why di d ever yone want t o be l i ke her ? Ki ah f ound Dar by i n t he l i br ar y. Ki ah avoi ded Dar by. Phi l omena encount er ed Ki ah i n t he gr eat hal l . Phi l omena avoi ded Ki ah. She t hought about school , and how Ki ah and Vi vi anna never t al ked t o her . Why di d t hey l eave whenever she ent er ed a r oom? How coul d t hat ev en be possi bl e? Di d t hey secr et l y l i ke her af t er al l ? I t di dn' t mat t er anyway. They wer e al ways l aughi ng wi t h t hei r per f ect f r i ends. They wal ked ar ound t he school l i ke t hey owned t he pl ace. They wer e queen bees and t hey knew i t . They never i nvi t ed her t o par t i es; i t was a f l uke she ended up at t hi s one. They al ways got t hey want ed. Al ways. But l i f e was pr obabl y har d f or t hem t oo, i n i t s own way. I t al ways i s. The f r ont y ar d was empt y. Fi nal l y, Di t a t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. Di t a s t ar t ed t o cl i mb t he t r ee, t hen t hought bet t er of i t . She t hought about Dar by. She want ed t hat shi r t . Not hi ng el se woul d do. Maybe i f t hey coul d j ust be r eal wi t h each ot her f or once. . . Nobody r eal l y knew how she f el t . Ki ah wal k ed i nt o t he gr eat hal l and saw Phi l omena. Gr eat . " Wher e di d you get t hat phone, Phi l omena?" Phi l omena i gnor ed her . Gal e ent er ed t he gr eat hal l t o f i nd Phi l omena st andi ng t her e. Gal e st ar ed at Phi l omena suspi ci ous l y. The gr eat hal l hel d t wo i t ems of i nt er est t o Phi l omena: t he t r i bal Af ghan r ug and Dar by. Phi l omena st ar ed at Dar by suspi c i ousl y.
Af t er some t i me, Di t a f ound her sel f i n t he l i vi ng r oom. She dut i f ul l y avoi ded t he cof f ee t abl e out of some pr i mal r espect f or i t s ot her ness. She wi shed t he booze woul d ki ck i n. Vi vi anna ent er ed t he l i br ar y. Vi vi anna t r i ed and f ai l ed t o open t he l ock on t he desk . Dar by wal k ed i nt o t he gr eat hal l and saw Phi l omena. Gr eat . Dar by eyed Phi l omena' s f ashi onabl e scar f wi t h envy. Af t er some t i me, Phi l omena f ound her sel f i n t he l i br ar y. She dut i f ul l y avoi ded t he mahogany wor k desk out of some pr i mal r espect f or i t s ot her ness. She was hopi ng i t woul d di st r act her , i f f or some br i ef moment , f r om her l i f e. She t hought about school , and how Phi l omena and Gal e t hought t hey wer e so much bet t er t han ever yone el se. They wer e queen bees and t hey knew i t . They never i nvi t ed her t o par t i es; i t was a f l uke she ended up at t hi s one. Di d t hey suspect she t hought about t hem so much? " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he f oyer al l t o mysel f , " t hought Vi vi anna. She not i ced t he chandel i er . Ki nda t acky. She wi shed t he booz e woul d ki ck i n. Ki ah ent er ed t he gr eat hal l t o f i nd Dar by st andi ng t her e. " Wher e di d you get t hat shi r t , Dar by?" Dar by i gnor ed her . Af t er some t i me, Gal e f ound her sel f i n t he bat hr oom. Gal e r el i eved her sel f . Phi l omena and Dar by r an i nt o each ot her i n t he gr eat hal l . Phi l omena pl ayed ner vousl y wi t h her phone i n a successf ul bi d t o avoi d t al ki ng t o Dar by. She t hought about school , and how Dar by and Gal e t hought t hey wer e so much bet t er t han ever yone el se. Wer e t hey j eal ous of her somehow? Not l i kel y. Di d t hey secr et l y l i ke her af t er al l ? I t di dn' t mat t er anyway. They wer e al way s l aughi ng wi t h t hei r per f ect f r i ends. They wal ked ar ound t he school l i ke t hey owned t he pl ace. They never i nvi t ed her t o par t i es; i t was a f l uke she ended up at t hi s one. They al ways got t hey want ed. Al ways. Vi vi anna br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he f oyer . " Wow, check out t hat si de t abl e, " she sai d t o no one i n par t i cul ar . She hear d a noi se f r om somewher e el se i n t he house. She t hought about Ki ah. Why di d ever yone want t o be l i ke her ?
The gr eat hal l hel d t wo i t ems of i nt er est t o Ki ah: t he f ami l y por t r ai t and Gal e. " WHAT I S YOUR FAVORI TE BONUS TRACK?" Ki ah i nqui r ed. Gal e beamed. " Desper at i on. " Vi vi anna l ooked ar ound t he l i vi ng r oom. Vi vi anna t ur ned on t he TV f or a whi l e. Ki ah encount er ed Dar by i n t he bat hr oom. Ki ah pl ayed ner vousl y wi t h her pur se i n a successf ul bi d t o avoi d t al ki ng t o Dar by. Af t er some t i me, Gal e f ound her sel f i n t he gr eat hal l . She dut i f ul l y avoi ded t he f ami l y por t r ai t out of some pr i mal r espect f or i t s ot her ness. She was hopi ng i t woul d di st r act her , i f f or some br i ef moment , f r om her l i f e. " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he l i vi ng r oom al l t o mysel f , " t hought Vi vi anna. Vi vi anna bounced on t he sof a, hopi ng t o r ecapt ur e her chi l dhood i nnocence. She t hought about Gal e. Gal e and t hat aquamar i ne ski r t of her s. She l oved her so damn much. Why coul dn' t she be mor e l i ke her ? Maybe i f t hey coul d j ust be r eal wi t h each ot her f or once. . . Just t hi nki ng about i t made her want t o puke. Gal e and Dar by r an i nt o each ot her i n t he bat hr oom. " Dr eams, " Gal e sai d. " Tel l me about your dr eams. " Dar by al most sai d not hi ng, but t hought bet t er of i t . " I was wat chi ng 90210, and one gi r l was mad at t he ot her and she was sendi ng vi ci ous not es t o t he ot her . Then al l of a sudden I was i n t hi s r oom and t her e was t hi s huge open door l eadi ng i nt o an eat i ng r oom, l i ke a summer camp t ype eat i ng r oom. I n t he r oom I was i n t her e wer e l et t er s on t he wal l l i ke t he ones on 90210, whi ch was st r ange. Anyway, I got i nt o t he eat i ng r oom and I s ee P. At t he same t i me we bot h made t hat si gnal wi t h our i ndex f i nger s t o c ome t o each ot her and mout hed t he wor ds, " yeah, we' r e not shy. " Then we wal ked t owar ds each ot her . My mom t hen woke me up. " Di t a ent er ed t he br eakf ast nook. Di t a dr ank some j ui ce, f uck i t , r i ght ? Whose house even was t hi s? " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he bat hr oom al l t o mysel f , " t hought Dar by . Dar by j i ggl ed t he t oi l et handl e. Gal e f ound Ki ah i n t he gr eat hal l . " Ki ah, what di d you dr eam about l ast ni ght ?" asked Gal e. Ki ah seemed war y, but her f ace s of t ened. " When i t st ar t ed we wer e at some sor t of par t y.
Al l t he ki ds f r om my cl ass wer e t her e, al t hough I di dn' t see t hem al l . I j ust knew t hey wer e t her e. Al l t he t eacher s wer e t her e t oo. I can' t r emember what went on f or a whi l e, but t hen St ev e t ol d Mel i ssa t o s har e what happened t o her . She sai d, " No, t hat ' s al l r i ght . I don' t r eal l y hav e t o. " St eve and Todd t ol d her she had t o. So she t ol d ever yone she pas s ed her mat h exam and ever yone appl auded. The somehow i t was Ni na who had t ol d t he news, and t ear s c ame t o her eyes and she went r unni ng t o t he bat hr oom, and Cour t ney and I f ol l owed. When we got t her e, she had l ocked her sel f i n t he st al l . I sai d, " Ni na, why ar e you cr yi ng? You passed your mat h exam! " And she sai d, " Get away f r om me, you f at , ugl y bi t ch. " Anne had al so come i n t he bat hr oom i n t i me t o hear t hi s, and she wal ked t o t he st al l , unl ocked i t , and went i n. Then Jul i a went i n t oo. I don' t r emember what happened, but a l ot of t he 7t h gr ader s came i n, i ncl udi ng Anna. For some r eason we wer e t hr owi ng a t omat o ar ound t he r oom and i t bounced of f Anna' s shoul der . She was wor r i ed t hat she' d s mashed i t , but Ni na sai d, " Don' t wor r y, you' r e not f at l i ke Hi l ar y. " I can' t r emember what happened af t er t hat . I t hi nk I woke up, but t he dr eam cont i nued f or a mi nut e, t hen changed. " " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he ki t chen al l t o mysel f , " t hought Di t a. She st ar ed at t he kni f e set uncompr ehendi ngl y. She hear d a noi se f r om somewher e el se i n t he house. Nobody was i n t he gar age, so Vi v i anna f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. She st ar ed at t he r i di ng l awnmower uncompr ehendi ngl y. Par t of her , a l ar ger par t t han s he car ed t o admi t , want ed t o smash i t . " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he bat hr oom al l t o mysel f , " t hought Dar by . The f r amed phot o of a f i sh r emi nded her of her mot her . Bar f . She wi shed t he booze woul d ki ck i n. The guest bedr oom was empt y. Fi nal l y, Gal e t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. Gal e i magi ned what ki nd of peopl e had st ayed i n t he bed. How many peopl e had had sex i n i t ? Nobody was i n t he ki t c hen, so Di t a f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. " Wow, check out t hat f r i dge, " she sai d t o no one i n par t i cul ar . She was hopi ng i t woul d di st r act her , i f f or some br i ef moment , f r om her l i f e. Vi vi anna encount er ed Gal e i n t he gr eat hal l . " Why woul d you scr een shot my snapc hat st or y
i f I never even t al k t o y ou ?" Gal e r ecoi l ed. " BECAUSE I SNAPCHAT NOONE EVER DYLAN ( HAYES) I S ONE OF MY BESTFRI ENDS HAHAHA. " " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he ki t chen al l t o mysel f , " t hought Di t a. " Wow, check out t hat f r i dge, " she sai d t o no one i n par t i c ul ar . Why she not i ced i n t he f i r st pl ace was beyond her . The guest bedr oom was empt y. Fi nal l y, Gal e t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. Gal e guessed t hat t hi s was t he most bor i ng r oom i n t he house. As Dar by ent er ed t he gr eat hal l , she saw Vi vi anna maki ng t r oubl e. " Dr eams, " Dar by sai d. " Tel l me about your dr eams. " Vi vi anna al most sai d not hi ng, but t hought bet t er of i t . " I was Dor ot hy f r om t he Wi zar d of Oz, and t he Wi t ch was chasi ng me ar ound t hi s pi l l ar i nsi de t he cast l e. We kept goi ng ar ound and ar ound f or t he l ongest t i me, but i t was never r epet i t i ve at al l . She never caught me. " Phi l omena ent er ed t he mast er bat hr oom. She st ar ed at t he bl onde onyx t oi l et uncompr ehendi ngl y. She wi shed t he booze woul d ki ck i n. Ki ah ent er ed t he gr eat hal l t o f i nd Vi vi anna st andi ng t her e. Ki ah st ar ed at Vi vi anna suspi ci ous l y. Phi l omena encount er ed Vi vi anna i n t he mast er bedr oom. Phi l omena pl ayed ner vousl y wi t h her phone i n a successf ul bi d t o avoi d t al ki ng t o Vi vi anna. Nobody was i n t he ki t c hen, so Di t a f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. The kni f e set r emi nded her of her mot her . Bar f . She wi shed t he booze woul d ki ck i n. Vi vi anna ent er ed t he mast er bedr oom. Gal e was t her e, as i f wai t i ng. Vi vi anna eyed Gal e' s t eal shi r t wi t h envy. Nobody was i n t he l i br ar y, so Dar by f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. Dar by t r i ed and f ai l ed t o open t he l ock on t he desk. She t hought about Ki ah. Ki ah and t hat ost ent at i ous wat ch of her s. She hat ed her so damn much. She want ed t hat pur se. Not hi ng el se woul d do. I t was al most t oo much t o deal wi t h. Why coul dn' t she be mor e l i ke her ? Maybe i f t hey coul d j ust be r eal wi t h each ot her f or once. . . Just t hi nki ng about i t made her want t o puke.
Why di d she come t o t hi s st upi d house par t y i n t he f i r st pl ace? Gal e ent er ed t he mast er bedr oom. Vi vi anna was t her e, as i f wai t i ng. " what ' s your f avour i t e col our ?" Vi vi anna l aughed. " To say yel l ow. " Af t er some t i me, Phi l omena f ound her sel f i n t he bat hr oom. " Wow, check out t hat f r amed phot o of a f i sh, " she sai d t o no one i n par t i cul ar . She wi shed t he booze woul d ki ck i n. Dar by br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he f oyer . The chandel i er r emi nded her of her mot her . Bar f . She wi shed t he booze woul d ki ck i n. The l i br ar y was empt y. Fi nal l y, Ki ah t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. She dut i f ul l y avoi ded t he bookshel f out of some pr i mal r espect f or i t s ot her ness. Why she not i ced i n t he f i r st pl ace was beyond her . She t hought about school , and how Di t a and Vi vi anna had mor e money t han she di d. Why di d t hey l eave whenever she ent er ed a r oom? They wer e al ways l aughi ng wi t h t hei r per f ect f r i ends. They wal ked ar ound t he school l i ke t hey owned t he pl ace. They al ways got t hey want ed. Al ways. But l i f e was pr obabl y har d f or t hem t oo, i n i t s own way. I t al ways i s. Vi vi anna br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he mast er bat hr oom. She dut i f ul l y avoi ded t he bl onde onyx bat ht ub out of some pr i mal r espect f or i t s ot her ness. She di dn' t gi v e i t a second t hought . Dar by br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he f oyer . She dut i f ul l y avoi ded t he chandel i er out of some pr i mal r espect f or i t s ot her ness. Why she not i ced i n t he f i r st pl ace was beyond her . Ki ah ent er ed t he gr eat hal l . Phi l omena was t her e, as i f wai t i ng. Ki ah st ar ed at Phi l omena suspi ci ous l y. Phi l omena ent er ed t he gr eat hal l . Ki ah was t her e, as i f wai t i ng. " What i s t he best YouTube vi deo t hat gave someone 15 mi nut es of f ame?" Phi l omena asked.
Ki ah f l i nched. " Al l t i me10s I s . " Nobody was i n t he gr eat hal l , so Phi l omena f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. Phi l omena st ar ed down t he hal l , whi ch seemed l onger t han i t had any r i ght t o be. Nobody was i n t he di ni ng r oom, so Di t a f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. The si l ver war e caught her eye. She t hought i t was t he ugl i est t hi ng she' d ever seen. She was hopi ng i t woul d di st r act her , i f f or s ome br i ef moment , f r om her l i f e. Dar by br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he f oyer . The next t hi ng she saw was t he chandel i er , whi ch l ef t her f eel i ng di squi et ed. She was hopi ng i t woul d di st r act her , i f f or some br i ef moment , f r om her l i f e. Nobody was i n t he bat hr oom, so Ki ah f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. Ki ah was af r ai d, as s he al ways was, t hat a mur der er l ay i n ambush behi nd t he shower cur t ai n. She t hought about Dar by. She want ed t hat shi r t . Not hi ng el se woul d do. Why coul dn' t she be mor e l i ke her ? Nobody r eal l y knew how she f el t . As Vi vi anna ent er ed t he mast er bedr oom, she saw Gal e maki ng t r oubl e. Dar by br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he f r ont yar d. Dar by r an her f i nger s t hr ough t he wel l mani cur ed gr ass, dr eami ng of bet t er days. She t hought about Ki ah. She envi ed her so damn much. She want ed t hat pur se. Not hi ng el se woul d do. Just t hi nki ng about i t made her want t o puke. Phi l omena br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he guest bedr oom. " Wow, check out t hat bed, " she s ai d t o no one i n par t i cul ar . She was hopi ng i t woul d di st r act her , i f f or some br i ef moment , f r om her l i f e. Di t a l ooked ar ound t he back yar d. She st ar ed at t he l awn f ur ni t ur e uncompr ehendi ngl y. She wi shed t he booze woul d ki ck i n. Vi vi anna and Gal e r an i nt o each ot her i n t he mast er bedr oom. Vi vi anna avoi ded Gal e. The f r ont y ar d was empt y. Fi nal l y, Dar by t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. Dar by
st ar t ed t o cl i mb t he t r ee, t hen t hought bet t er of i t . " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he bat hr oom al l t o mysel f , " t hought Ki ah. Ki ah r el i eved her sel f . Gal e f ound Vi vi anna i n t he mast er bedr oom. " Dr eams, " Gal e sai d. " Tel l me about your dr eams. " Vi vi anna al most sai d not hi ng, but t hought bet t er of i t . " I was at home wi t h my mom ( we had j ust wal ked i n t he door ) , and t hi s l ady asked i f she coul d come i n. I asked f or her name and who she was, and she st ar t ed yel l i ng at me. Then t hey br ok e i nt o t he house. Then we wer e at an apar t ment compl ex and I was i n my PJs. Those same r obber s came and st abbed me and my mom wi t h some bamboo s t i ck. I r an and cal l ed 911 and t hey came ver y qui ckl y. But when t he ambul ance came, our wounds had heal ed and we wer e al l f i ne. But t hey c aught t he r obber s, and put t hem i n j ai l . " Vi vi anna br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he mast er bedr oom. She not i ced t he t eak dr esser . Ki nda t acky. Par t of her , a l ar ger par t t han she car ed t o admi t , want ed t o smash i t . Dar by l ook ed ar ound t he l i vi ng r oom. The cof f ee t abl e caught her eye. She t hought i t was t he ugl i es t t hi ng she' d ever seen. Why she not i ced i n t he f i r st pl ace was beyond her . Af t er some t i me, Phi l omena f ound her sel f i n t he bat hr oom. Phi l omena j i ggl ed t he t oi l et handl e. " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he l i vi ng r oom al l t o mysel f , " t hought Di t a. Di t a t ur ned on t he TV f or a whi l e. Nobody was i n t he f oyer , so Dar by f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. " Wow, check out t hat si de t abl e, " she sai d t o no one i n par t i cul ar . Thi ngs. The house was f ul l of t hi ngs. When she got ol d enough t o have a house, she' d own not hi ng. Gal e f ound Vi vi anna i n t he gr eat hal l . " What ' s t he best shi t t y f ast f ood pl ace?" i nqui r ed Gal e. " Thi s. " As Di t a ent er ed t he f oyer , she saw Dar by maki ng t r oubl e. Di t a st ar ed at Dar by
suspi ci ous l y. Af t er some t i me, Vi vi anna f ound her sel f i n t he l i br ar y. Vi vi anna f l i pped t hr ough some books. Dar by and Di t a r an i nt o each ot her i n t he f oyer . Dar by st ar ed at Di t a suspi ci ousl y. Gal e encount er ed Phi l omena i n t he bat hr oom. The f oyer was empt y. Fi nal l y, Di t a t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. She st ar ed at t he chandel i er uncompr ehendi ngl y. She was hopi ng i t woul d di st r act her , i f f or some br i ef moment , f r om her l i f e. Vi vi anna encount er ed Gal e i n t he gr eat hal l . " Wher e di d you get t hat shi r t , Gal e?" Gal e i gnor ed her . Af t er some t i me, Ki ah f ound her sel f i n t he mast er bedr oom. She st ar ed at t he ki ng si zed bed uncompr ehendi ngl y. She di dn' t gi ve i t a second t hought . Gal e encount er ed Phi l omena i n t he gr eat hal l . " why do you t r eat me l i ke t hi s?" Phi l omena f l i nched. " because I al l ow you t o t r eat me l i ke shi t . " The f r ont y ar d was empt y. Fi nal l y, Di t a t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. The next t hi ng she saw was t he t r ee, whi ch l ef t her f eel i ng di squi et ed. Thi ngs. The house was f ul l of t hi ngs. When she got ol d enough t o have a house, she' d own not hi ng. Dar by l ook ed ar ound t he gar age. Dar by t r i ed t o j i mmy t he l ock on t he car and ended up set t i ng of f t he al ar m. Whoops. Ki ah wal ked i nt o t he mast er bedr oom and saw Gal e. Gr eat . " Gal e, what di d you dr eam about l ast ni ght ?" asked Ki ah. Gal e seemed war y, but her f ace sof t ened. " I was an I ndi an on a r eser vat i on but i t was al so a ski r esor t . Al l day we went up and down t he mount ai n. Ther e was a bor der whi ch was mar ki ng whi t e man' s l and. Ther e was a bat hr oom r i ght acr oss i t . I r eal l y had t o go so I di d. Because I t r espassed I st ar t ed t hi s whol e war , and t he whi t es st ar t ed i nvadi ng and at t acki ng us. I t was col d, and I managed t o get a f i r e s t ar t ed t o keep war m, and al l t he I ndi ans wer e huddl ed ar ound i t
whi l e t he whi t es moved cl oser and cl oser i n on us. " As Gal e ent er ed t he mast er bedr oom, she saw Ki ah maki ng t r oubl e. Gal e eyed Ki ah' s ost ent at i ous wat ch wi t h envy. Phi l omena l ooked ar ound t he bat hr oom. Phi l omena r el i eved her sel f . " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he gr eat hal l al l t o mysel f , " t hought Vi vi anna. The f ami l y por t r ai t c aught her eye. She t hought i t was t he ugl i es t t hi ng she' d ever seen. She wi shed t he booze woul d ki ck i n. Nobody was i n t he back yar d, so Dar by f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. The gas gr i l l caught her eye. She t hought i t was t he ugl i est t hi ng she' d ever seen. Thi ngs. The house was f ul l of t hi ngs. When she got ol d enough t o have a house, she' d own not hi ng. Ki ah f ound Gal e i n t he mast er bedr oom. " Gal e, what di d you dr eam about l ast ni ght ?" asked Ki ah. Gal e seemed war y, but her f ace s of t ened. " Me and a f ew ot her cl assmat es wer e c hosen t o j oi n i n a s pace l aunch wi t h al i ens. Bef or e we got t o t he l aunch door , Hi l l ar y & Mel i s s a wer e shot by t he al i ens. But t hen I l ooked f ur t her up and Mel i ssa & Hi l l ar y wer e t her e. The al i ens had been i mi t at i ng t hem. We went ont o t he l aunch & af t er we had t aken of f , t hey t ol d us we had t oo many peopl e. We had t o choose t he one t o go. We chose Emi l y because s he di dn' t hear us. Someone gave her an Or i o and sai d he want ed t o r ecor d exact l y how she at e i t . She wi l l i ngl y t ook one cooki e and descr i bed i t as she went al ong. She pul l ed i t apar t and s ai d s he had t o l i ck t he cr eam f i l l i ng f i r st , and t hen she at e t he out si de. I mmedi at el y af t er eat i ng i t , she l ooked at her ar m and i t st ar t ed t o t ur n gr een wi t h r ed spl ot ches, j ust l i ke t he al i ens . She was pr et t y angr y at us f or t r i cki ng her . I somehow became t hei r l eader and one day I got so st r ess ed out t hat I went f or a wal k and swi m i n a gor geous l i t t l e pond. Af t er my s wi m, I went down t o some sor t of st or e and out si de was a man. That ' s al l I r emember . " Di t a br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n s i ght s of t he f r ont yar d. The next t hi ng she saw was t he l awn, whi ch l ef t her f eel i ng di squi et ed. Thi ngs. The house was f ul l of t hi ngs. When s he got ol d enough t o have a house, she' d own not hi ng. Af t er some t i me, Vi vi anna f ound her sel f i n t he mast er bedr oom. The ki ng si zed bed
r emi nded her of her mot her . Bar f . Why she not i ced i n t he f i r st pl ace was beyond her . Phi l omena ent er ed t he bat hr oom. Phi l omena j i ggl ed t he t oi l et handl e. " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he f oyer al l t o mysel f , " t hought Di t a. Di t a debat ed j ust l eavi ng t he house. " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he l i br ar y al l t o mysel f , " t hought Di t a. She st ar ed at t he mahogany wor k desk uncompr ehendi ngl y. She hear d a noi se f r om somewher e el se i n t he house. Nobody was i n t he back yar d, so Dar by f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. The gas gr i l l r emi nded her of her mot her . Bar f . Thi ngs. The house was f ul l of t hi ngs. When she got ol d enough t o have a house, she' d own not hi ng. Ki ah ent er ed t he mast er bat hr oom t o f i nd Vi vi anna st andi ng t her e. " Dr eams, " Ki ah sai d. " Tel l me about your dr eams. " Vi vi anna al most sai d not hi ng, but t hought bet t er of i t . " I can' t r emember i t ver y wel l . A woman came t o t he school and t al ked t o us about t he ef f ect s of pover t y on dai l y l i f e. I r emember her showi ng us how peopl e br ush t hei r t eet h wi t hout t oot hpast e. " The guest bedr oom was empt y. Fi nal l y, Phi l omena t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. Phi l omena i magi ned what ki nd of peopl e had st ayed i n t he bed. How many peopl e had had s ex i n i t ? " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he gr eat hal l al l t o mysel f , " t hought Gal e. The next t hi ng she saw was t he t r i bal Af ghan r ug, whi ch l ef t her f eel i ng di squi et ed. She wi shed t he booze woul d ki c k i n. Ki ah f ound Vi vi anna i n t he mast er bat hr oom. " Why Woul d You Take A Pi ct ur e I n Your Under wear & Post I t On A Soci al Net wor k ?" asked Ki ah. Vi vi anna beamed. " because I f el l up t he st ai r s t r yi ng t o r un i n my under wear , t hat hur t l i ke a bi t ch. " Af t er some t i me, Phi l omena f ound her sel f i n t he gr eat hal l . Phi l omena t ook of f her s hoes, got a r unni ng st ar t , a sl i d i n her socks down t he sl i ck har dwood f l oor s. The l i vi ng r oom was empt y. Fi nal l y, Di t a t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. Di t a bounced on t he sof a, hopi ng t o r ecapt ur e her chi l dhood i nnocence.
Nobody was i n t he gar age, so Dar by f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. Dar by cons i der ed get t i ng on t hat l awnmower and r i di ng i t out of t hi s pl ace. Gal e ent er ed t he l i br ar y . The mahogany wor k desk r emi nded her of her mot her . Bar f . She hear d a noi se f r om somewher e el se i n t he house. She t hought about Vi vi anna. She envi ed her so damn much. Why coul dn' t she be mor e l i ke her ? Maybe i f t hey coul d j ust be r eal wi t h each ot her f or once. . . Nobody r eal l y knew how she f el t . Jus t t hi nki ng about i t made her want t o puke. Why di d she come t o t hi s st upi d house par t y i n t he f i r st pl ace? Di t a l ooked ar ound t he l i vi ng r oom. Di t a bounced on t he sof a, hopi ng t o r ecapt ur e her chi l dhood i nnocence. Dar by l ook ed ar ound t he f r ont yar d. The t r ee caught her eye. She t hought i t was t he ugl i est t hi ng she' d ever seen. Why she not i ced i n t he f i r st pl ace was beyond her . Ki ah l ooked ar ound t he mast er bat hr oom. She st ar ed at t he bl onde onyx f l oor i ng uncompr ehendi ngl y. Par t of her , a l ar ger par t t han she car ed t o admi t , want ed t o s mash i t . Di t a l ooked ar ound t he di ni ng r oom. The di ni ng r oom t abl e caught her eye. She t hought i t was t he ugl i est t hi ng she' d ever seen. Thi ngs. The house was f ul l of t hi ngs. When she got ol d enough t o have a house, she' d own not hi ng. Vi vi anna ent er ed t he gr eat hal l . Gal e was t her e, as i f wai t i ng. Vi vi anna pl ayed ner vousl y wi t h her s weat er i n a successf ul bi d t o avoi d t al ki ng t o Gal e. She t hought about sc hool , and how Gal e and Vi vi anna got bet t er gr ades t han her . Wer e t hey j eal ous of her somehow? Not l i kel y. They wal ked ar ound t he school l i ke t hey owned t he pl ace. They never i nvi t ed her t o par t i es; i t was a f l uke she ended up at t hi s one. They al ways got t hey want ed. Al ways. But l i f e was pr obabl y har d f or t hem t oo, i n i t s own way. I t al ways i s. Nobody was i n t he f r ont yar d, so Dar by f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. The l awn caught her eye. She t hought i t was t he ugl i est t hi ng she' d ever seen. Thi ngs. The house was f ul l of t hi ngs. When she got ol d enough t o have a house, she' d own not hi ng. Nobody was i n t he ki t c hen, so Di t a f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. Di t a c hecked
t he f r i dge f or snacks. Nobody was i n t he gar age, so Dar by f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. Dar by t r i ed t o j i mmy t he l ock on t he car and ended up set t i ng of f t he al ar m. Whoops. As Ki ah ent er ed t he mast er bedr oom, she saw Phi l omena maki ng t r oubl e. Ki ah st ar ed at Phi l omena suspi ci ousl y. " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he gr eat hal l al l t o mysel f , " t hought Gal e. Gal e t ook of f her shoes , got a r unni ng st ar t , a sl i d i n her socks down t he sl i ck har dwood f l oor s. As Phi l omena ent er ed t he gr eat hal l , she saw Vi v i anna maki ng t r oubl e. " Vi vi anna, what di d you dr eam about l ast ni ght ?" asked Phi l omena. Vi vi anna seemed war y, but her f ace sof t ened. " I was st ayi ng wi t h Pat r i ck f or t he summer . I t wasn' t hi s house, t hough. I t was way out i n t he mi ddl e of nowher e, and hi s par ent s wer en' t ar ound. He coul d dr i ve ( he backed out of t he dr i veway at 50 mph) , but we bot h r ode mount ai n bi kes t o some di ml y l i t st or e wher e he want ed t o buy a wooden model ai r pl ane. I t was a l ong dr eam, but i n most of i t I seemed t o be changi ng cl ot hes. I woul d j us t get out of bed and change f r om sl eepwear t o nor mal cl ot hes, or vi ce ver s a. I had a br oken l eg. " Di t a ent er ed t he back y ar d. The next t hi ng she saw was t he gas gr i l l , whi ch l ef t her f eel i ng di squi et ed. Thi ngs. The house was f ul l of t hi ngs. When she got ol d enough t o have a house, she' d own not hi ng. She t hought about school , and how Gal e and Phi l omena got bet t er gr ades t han her . How c oul d t hat even be possi bl e? They wal ked ar ound t he school l i ke t hey owned t he pl ace. They never i nvi t ed her t o par t i es; i t was a f l uke she ended up at t hi s one. They al ways got t hey want ed. Al ways. The gr eat hal l hel d t wo i t ems of i nt er est t o Vi vi anna: t he t r i bal Af ghan r ug and Phi l omena. Phi l omena st i f f ened and began t o r ambl e, not not i c i ng Vi vi anna, as i f i n a f ugue st at e. " Mel i ssa and I went t o a Beat l es concer t at Sand Har bor . Onl l y t he st age was i n a di f f er ent spot . Ther e was t hi s cabi n wher e you get t i cket s and we' r e l ooki ng f or my mom t o get a bl anket t o si t down on. We wer e j ust wal ki ng ar ound and t hen t her e was a pause wher e not hi ng happened. Then t he dr eam ended. " " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he guest bedr oom al l t o mysel f , " t hought Gal e. Gal e i magi ned what ki nd
of peopl e had st ayed i n t he bed. How many peopl e had had sex i n i t ? Gal e ent er ed t he guest bedr oom t o f i nd Phi l omena st andi ng t her e. Af t er some t i me, Di t a f ound her sel f i n t he ki t chen. Di t a r i f l ed t hr ough t he cabi net s f or al cohol . Vi vi anna wal ked i nt o t he gr eat hal l and saw Ki ah. Gr eat . Vi v i anna eyed Ki ah' s ost ent at i ous wat ch wi t h envy. Dar by l ook ed ar ound t he back yar d. She not i ced t he gas gr i l l . Ki nda t acky. She hear d a noi se f r om somewher e el se i n t he house. She t hought about Vi vi anna. She l oved her so damn muc h. She want ed t hat sweat er . Not hi ng el se woul d do. Just t hi nki ng about i t made her want t o puke. Why di d she come t o t hi s st upi d house par t y i n t he f i r st pl ace? As Gal e ent er ed t he guest bedr oom, she s aw Phi l omena maki ng t r oubl e. Phi l omena st i f f ened and began t o r ambl e, not not i ci ng Gal e, as i f i n a f ugue st at e. " I was wal ki ng t hr ough a j ai l when I came t o a r oom wher e ever ybody was wear i ng bi ki ni s. One wei r do sai d t hat soon t he whol e wor l d woul d be wear i ng bi k i ni s. The I l ef t and went t hough a t hi n hal l way t hat had bar r ed wi ndows i n i t , wi t h peopl e' s hands r eachi ng out and t ouchi ng me. Then I came t o a r oom f i l l ed wi t h wei r d peopl e. I even saw a r at per son come out f r om under t he t abl e. The owner of t he pl ace t ook hi m away. Then I became f r i ends wi t h t he owner and he t ol d me t hat some peopl e wer e comi ng t o l ook at t he pr i son soon. He asked me my opi ni on of t he pl ace. I suggest ed t hat he doesn' t l et t hem go t hr ough t he hal l way wi t h t he hands. So we bui l t anot her hal l way wi t h not hi ng i n i t . " " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he ki t chen al l t o mysel f , " t hought Di t a. She not i ced t he oven. Ki nda t acky. Why she not i ced i n t he f i r st pl ace was beyond her . Dar by ent er ed t he back yar d. She st ar ed at t he l awn f ur ni t ur e uncompr ehendi ngl y. She wi shed t he booze woul d ki ck i n. As Gal e ent er ed t he gr eat hal l , she saw Phi l omena maki ng t r oubl e. Gal e eyed Phi l omena' s cr i ms on phone wi t h envy.
As Ki ah ent er ed t he mast er bedr oom, she saw Vi vi anna maki ng t r oubl e. Ki ah l ooked angr y. " what ' s your f avour i t e col our ?" she asked. " They say I ' m r ed but Gol d, " sai d Vi vi anna. The gar age was empt y. Fi nal l y, Dar by t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. Dar by cons i der ed get t i ng on t hat l awnmower and r i di ng i t out of t hi s pl ace. The bat hr oom was empt y. Fi nal l y, Gal e t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. Gal e was af r ai d, as s he al ways was, t hat a mur der er l ay i n ambush behi nd t he shower cur t ai n. She t hought about Vi vi anna. She envi ed her so damn much. She want ed t hat sweat er . Not hi ng el se woul d do. Why coul dn' t she be mor e l i ke her ? Maybe i f t hey coul d j ust be r eal wi t h each ot her f or once. . . Nobody r eal l y knew how she f el t . Jus t t hi nki ng about i t made her want t o puke. " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he ki t chen al l t o mysel f , " t hought Di t a. Di t a checked t he f r i dge f or snacks. She t hought about school , and how Vi vi anna and Gal e had mor e money t han she di d. They wer e al way s l aughi ng wi t h t hei r per f ect f r i ends. They wal ked ar ound t he school l i ke t hey owned t he pl ace. They never i nvi t ed her t o par t i es; i t was a f l uke she ended up at t hi s one. They al ways got t hey want ed. Al ways. But l i f e was pr obabl y har d f or t hem t oo, i n i t s own way. I t al ways i s. Di d t hey suspec t she t hought about t hem so much? Gal e br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he bat hr oom. Gal e r el i eved her sel f . She t hought about school , and how Ki ah and Di t a wer e such t ot al bi t ches. Wer e t hey j eal ous of her somehow? Not l i kel y. Di d t hey secr et l y l i ke her af t er al l ? I t di dn' t mat t er anyway. They wer e al way s l aughi ng wi t h t hei r per f ect f r i ends. They wal ked ar ound t he school l i ke t hey owned t he pl ace. But l i f e was pr obabl y har d f or t hem t oo, i n i t s own way. I t al ways i s. Di d t hey suspect she t hought about t hem so much? The gr eat hal l hel d t wo i t ems of i nt er est t o Phi l omena: t he f ami l y por t r ai t and Vi vi anna. " What i s t he best musi cal of al l t i me, t her e' s onl y 1 cor r ect answer ?" demanded Phi l omena. Vi vi anna r ecoi l ed. " Bl ues br ot her s. "
Vi vi anna f ound Dar by i n t he gr eat hal l . " What ' s your f avor i t e col or ?" " but bl ack . " As Ki ah ent er ed t he gr eat hal l , she saw Dar by maki ng t r oubl e. " why woul d you schedul e a l i cense t est af t er school ?" Ki ah i nqui r ed. Dar by r ecoi l ed. " because i l ove t hem bot h. " Af t er some t i me, Gal e f ound her sel f i n t he gr eat hal l . Gal e st ar ed down t he hal l , whi ch seemed l onger t han i t had any r i ght t o be. She t hought about school , and how Phi l omena and Ki ah t hought t hey wer e so much bet t er t han ever yone el se. Wer e t hey j eal ous of her somehow? Not l i kel y. They wer e al ways l aughi ng wi t h t hei r per f ect f r i ends. They wal ked ar ound t he school l i ke t hey owned t he pl ace. They never i nvi t ed her t o par t i es; i t was a f l uke she ended up at t hi s one. " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he mast er bat hr oom al l t o mysel f , " t hought Phi l omena. The bl onde onyx bat ht ub caught her eye. She t hought i t was t he ugl i est t hi ng she' d ever seen. She was hopi ng i t woul d di st r act her , i f f or s ome br i ef moment , f r om her l i f e. The ki t chen was empt y. Fi nal l y, Di t a t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. The f r i dge caught her eye. She t hought i t was t he ugl i est t hi ng she' d ever seen. She di dn' t gi ve i t a s econd t hought . Gal e encount er ed Dar by i n t he gr eat hal l . Gal e st ar ed at Dar by suspi ci ousl y. Ki ah ent er ed t he bat hr oom. Vi vi anna was t her e, as i f wai t i ng. " what ' s your f avor i t e col or ?" " f ood. " Di t a br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n s i ght s of t he br eakf ast nook. The next t hi ng she s aw was t he j ui cer , whi ch l ef t her f eel i ng di squi et ed. She di dn' t gi ve i t a second t hought . Dar by ent er ed t he mast er bedr oom t o f i nd Phi l omena st andi ng t her e. Dar by pl ayed ner vousl y wi t h her shi r t i n a succes sf ul bi d t o avoi d t al ki ng t o Phi l omena. Ki ah encount er ed Vi vi anna i n t he gr eat hal l . Vi vi anna l ooked di r ect l y at Ki ah. " I had t he wei r dest dr eam, " she
sai d. " I was l eavi ng a hospi t al , and some guy st epped on my f oot . My l eg was pr onounced br oken. They gave me a cast t hi ng t hat vel cr oed on. When I got home I cal l ed Jacob. I woke up r i ght bef or e I l ef t f or camp. I was car r i ed home j ust l i ke Ker r i St r ug was at t he Ol y mpi cs. " Gal e br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he bat hr oom. Gal e was af r ai d, as she al ways was, t hat a mur der er l ay i n ambus h behi nd t he shower cur t ai n. Phi l omena and Dar by r an i nt o each ot her i n t he mast er bedr oom. " What ' s t he best movi e out r i ght now t hat you' v e seen?" Dar by chuckl ed. " Det r oi t Rock Ci t y. " Nobody was i n t he ki t c hen, so Di t a f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. She not i ced t he kni f e set . Ki nda t acky. She hear d a noi se f r om somewher e el se i n t he house. The bat hr oom hel d t wo i t ems of i nt er est t o Vi vi anna: t he naut i cal t hemed shower cur t ai n and Gal e. Vi vi anna eyed Gal e' s t eal shi r t wi t h envy. Gal e ent er ed t he bat hr oom t o f i nd Vi vi anna st andi ng t her e. " Dr eams, " Gal e sai d. " Tel l me about your dr eams. " Vi vi anna al most sai d not hi ng, but t hought bet t er of i t . " We got an assi gnment at school and t hey handed i t out t o ever yone. Lat er on, I saw kni f e st abbi ngs i n t he wal l al l over . I t was a bi g kni f e. Let i ci a was on t he phone, and I was on t he phone i n t he al l ey. " Af t er some t i me, Phi l omena f ound her sel f i n t he mast er bat hr oom. " Wow, check out t hat bl onde ony x f l oor i ng, " s he sai d t o no one i n par t i cul ar . Thi ngs. The house was f ul l of t hi ngs. When she got ol d enough t o have a house, she' d own not hi ng. She t hought about school , and how Phi l omena and Di t a had mor e money t han she di d. They wer e al ways l aughi ng wi t h t hei r per f ect f r i ends. They wer e queen bees and t hey knew i t . They never i nvi t ed her t o par t i es; i t was a f l uke she ended up at t hi s one. Af t er some t i me, Di t a f ound her sel f i n t he cl oset . " Wow, check out t hat br i c a br ac, " she sai d t o no one i n par t i c ul ar . She wi shed t he booze woul d ki ck i n. Gal e f ound Vi vi anna i n t he bat hr oom. Gal e st ar ed at Vi vi anna suspi ci ousl y. She t hought about Vi vi anna. I t was al most t oo much t o deal wi t h. Nobody r eal l y knew how she f el t . Why
di d ever yone want t o be l i ke her ? Phi l omena l ooked ar ound t he mast er bedr oom. The ki ng si zed bed caught her eye. She t hought i t was t he ugl i est t hi ng she' d ever seen. Thi ngs. The house was f ul l of t hi ngs. When she got ol d enough t o have a hous e, she' d own not hi ng. Vi vi anna wal ked i nt o t he bat hr oom and saw Gal e. Gr eat . Vi vi anna pl ayed ner vous l y wi t h her bel t i n a successf ul bi d t o avoi d t al ki ng t o Gal e. Dar by ent er ed t he gr eat hal l . Dar by t ook of f her shoes, got a r unni ng st ar t , a sl i d i n her socks down t he sl i ck har dwood f l oor s. She t hought about s chool , and how Ki ah and Dar by had mor e money t han she di d. Wer e t hey j eal ous of her somehow? Not l i kel y. How coul d t hat even be possi bl e? Di d t hey sec r et l y l i ke her af t er al l ? I t di dn' t mat t er anyway. They wer e al way s l aughi ng wi t h t hei r per f ect f r i ends. They never i nvi t ed her t o par t i es; i t was a f l uke she ended up at t hi s one. Nobody was i n t he l i br ar y, so Ki ah f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. Ki ah f l i pped t hr ough some books. She t hought about school , and how Phi l omena and Vi vi anna wer e such t ot al bi t ches. They al ways got t hey want ed. Al ways. Di d t hey suspect she t hought about t hem so much? Di t a br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n s i ght s of t he ki t chen. The f r i dge r emi nded her of her mot her . Bar f . Par t of her , a l ar ger par t t han she car ed t o admi t , want ed t o smash i t . Vi vi anna ent er ed t he gr eat hal l t o f i nd Phi l omena st andi ng t her e. " Wher e di d you get t hat phone, Phi l omena?" Phi l omena i gnor ed her . She t hought about Phi l omena. Why coul dn' t she be mor e l i ke her ? Why di d ever yone want t o be l i ke her ? Dar by ent er ed t he l i br ar y. The mahogany wor k desk r emi nded her of her mot her . Bar f . She was hopi ng i t woul d di s t r act her , i f f or some br i ef moment , f r om her l i f e. She t hought about school , and how Gal e and Dar by got bet t er gr ades t han her . They never i nvi t ed her t o par t i es; i t was a f l uke she ended up at t hi s one. But l i f e was pr obabl y har d f or t hem t oo, i n i t s own way. I t al ways i s. Di d t hey suspect she t hought about t hem so much?
The f oyer was empt y. Fi nal l y, Ki ah t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. She st ar ed at t he si de t abl e uncompr ehendi ngl y. She hear d a noi se f r om somewher e el se i n t he house. Gal e l ook ed ar ound t he bat hr oom. Gal e was af r ai d, as she al ways was, t hat a mur der er l ay i n ambush behi nd t he s hower cur t ai n. Af t er some t i me, Vi vi anna f ound her sel f i n t he l i br ar y. She dut i f ul l y avoi ded t he mahogany wor k desk out of some pr i mal r espect f or i t s ot her ness. Thi ngs. The house was f ul l of t hi ngs. When she got ol d enough t o have a house, she' d own not hi ng. Nobody was i n t he f r ont yar d, so Ki ah f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. Ki ah st ar t ed t o cl i mb t he t r ee, t hen t hought bet t er of i t . Af t er some t i me, Gal e f ound her sel f i n t he bat hr oom. " Wow, check out t hat f r amed phot o of a f i sh, " she sai d t o no one i n par t i cul ar . Why she not i ced i n t he f i r st pl ace was beyond her . Di t a ent er ed t he ki t chen. Di t a chec ked t he f r i dge f or snacks . As Ki ah ent er ed t he f oyer , she saw Vi vi anna maki ng t r oubl e. " Vi vi anna, what di d you dr eam about l ast ni ght ?" ask ed Ki ah. Vi vi anna seemed war y, but her f ace sof t ened. " I can' t r emember i t ver y wel l . A woman came t o t he sc hool and t al ked t o us about t he ef f ect s of pover t y on dai l y l i f e. I r emember her showi ng us how peopl e br ush t hei r t eet h wi t hout t oot hpast e. " Vi vi anna encount er ed Ki ah i n t he f oyer . " what ' s t he best app t o get f r ee musi c on?" Vi vi anna asked. " I swear Qui zUp. " Phi l omena l ooked ar ound t he gr eat hal l . Phi l omena t ook of f her shoes, got a r unni ng st ar t , a sl i d i n her socks down t he sl i ck har dwood f l oor s. She t hought about school , and how Di t a and Ki ah di dn' t have t o t r y har d t o be l i ked. Why di d t hey l eave whenever she ent er ed a r oom? Wer e t hey j eal ous of her somehow? Not l i kel y. They wer e al ways l aughi ng wi t h t hei r per f ect f r i ends. They wer e queen bees and t hey knew i t . They never i nvi t ed her t o par t i es; i t was a f l uk e she ended up at t hi s one. They al ways got t hey want ed. Al ways. But l i f e was pr obabl y har d f or t hem t oo, i n i t s own way. I t al ways i s.
Di t a ent er ed t he br eakf ast nook. Di t a dr ank some j ui ce, f uck i t , r i ght ? Whose house even was t hi s? Ki ah encount er ed Vi vi anna i n t he l i br ar y. " Dr eams, " Ki ah sai d. " Tel l me about your dr eams. " Vi vi anna al most sai d not hi ng, but t hought bet t er of i t . " I went t o summer camp, met a gi r l who l i ked my st r ai ght f or war dness, and she gave me some f al se eyel ashes. I r emember t hi nki ng I ' d f or got t en al l my hai r pr oduct s. Then I saw a l i t t l e boy bei ng beat up, so I went over t o one of t he guys and t ol d hi m he was a f uck up. He t hen asked me i f I want ed my head t wi st ed of f , and got r eal l y pi ssed. So I t ol d hi m he had mi sunder st ood my comment , and what I r eal l y sai d was " I wanna f uck you up. " So he changed hi s mi nd and f el l i n l ove wi t h me, and we di d t hi s danci ng f l yi ng ki nd of t hi ng. Af t er we di d t hi s, I acci dent al l y l et go and f l ew i nt o anot her r oom, and changed i nt o a t wi n of t he man i n t her e. Then t her e was somet hi ng i n t her e about Dor ot hy/ Judy Gar l and, but I don' t r emember . I don' t r emember t he endi ng. " Vi vi anna f ound Ki ah i n t he l i br ar y. " What ' s t he best i ndependent musi c gr oup out ?" asked Vi vi anna. " Long I sl and Ducks. " Dar by ent er ed t he bat hr oom t o f i nd Gal e st andi ng t her e. Dar by appear ed angr y. " what ' s your f avour i t e memor y of t hi s year s r ugby t weet us her e?" s he demanded. " bei ng accused of get t i ng hi gh and dr i nki ng i n new yor k bec ause we wer e l at e f or t he bus one mor ni ng, " sai d Gal e. Phi l omena br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he l i br ar y. Phi l omena f l i pped t hr ough some book s. Di t a ent er ed t he ki t chen. " Wow, check out t hat oven, " she sai d t o no one i n par t i cul ar . She di dn' t gi ve i t a second t hought . She t hought about Ki ah. Maybe i f t hey coul d j ust be r eal wi t h each ot her f or once. . . The f oyer hel d t wo i t ems of i nt er est t o Ki ah: t he si de t abl e and Vi vi anna. Ki ah avoi ded Vi vi anna.
As Vi vi anna ent er ed t he l i vi ng r oom, she saw Ki ah maki ng t r oubl e. Vi vi anna eyed Ki ah' s f ashi onabl e pur se wi t h envy. She t hought about Ki ah. She l oved her so damn much. She want ed t hat pur se. Not hi ng el se woul d do. Why coul dn' t she be mor e l i ke her ? Dar by ent er ed t he gr eat hal l . Gal e was t her e, as i f wai t i ng. " Dr eams, " Dar by sai d. " Tel l me about your dr eams. " Gal e al most sai d not hi ng, but t hought bet t er of i t . " I was wi t h some s chool f r i ends and we went t o cl asses t hat wer e ver y wei r d. Ther e was a r el i gi ous cl ass, a musi cal si ngi ng cl ass and t wo ot her s I can' t r emember . We wer e i n t he r el i gi ous cl ass even t hough one of my f r i ends i s Jewi sh and anot her i s Cat hol i c, and we wer e bei ng r owdy and t he nun sent us out of t he cl ass and we r an amok. " Gal e ent er ed t he gr eat hal l t o f i nd Dar by st andi ng t her e. Gal e eyed Dar by' s ost ent at i ous shi r t wi t h envy. Phi l omena f ound Dar by i n t he gr eat hal l . Vi vi anna ent er ed t he f r ont yar d. Vi vi anna st ar t ed t o cl i mb t he t r ee, t hen t hought bet t er of i t . She t hought about Vi vi anna. Vi vi anna and t hat ost ent at i ous bel t of her s. I t was al most t oo much t o deal wi t h. Why coul dn' t she be mor e l i ke her ? Why di d ever yone want t o be l i ke her ? Ki ah br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he l i vi ng r oom. Ki ah t ur ned on t he TV f or a whi l e. She t hought about Gal e. Maybe i f t hey coul d j ust be r eal wi t h each ot her f or once. . . Just t hi nki ng about i t made her want t o puke. Di t a l ooked ar ound t he back yar d. The l awn f ur ni t ur e r emi nded her of her mot her . Bar f . She wi shed t he booze woul d ki ck i n. She t hought about Phi l omena. She want ed t hat sc ar f . Not hi ng el se woul d do. Why coul dn' t she be mor e l i ke her ? Maybe i f t hey coul d j us t be r eal wi t h each ot her f or once. . . Nobody r eal l y knew how she f el t . Why di d ever yone want t o be l i ke her ? Just t hi nki ng about i t made her want t o puke. " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he l i vi ng r oom al l t o mysel f , " t hought Vi vi anna. Vi vi anna bounced on t he sof a, hopi ng t o r ecapt ur e her chi l dhood i nnocence. Dar by ent er ed t he bat hr oom. She not i ced t he naut i cal t hemed shower cur t ai n. Ki nda t acky.
She hear d a noi se f r om somewher e el se i n t he house. Ki ah l ooked ar ound t he f r ont yar d. The l awn caught her eye. She t hought i t was t he ugl i est t hi ng she' d ever seen. Why she not i ced i n t he f i r st pl ace was beyond her . The guest bedr oom was empt y. Fi nal l y, Phi l omena t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. " Wow, check out t hat post er of a. . . Monet ?, " she sai d t o no one i n par t i cul ar . She wi shed t he booze woul d ki ck i n. She t hought about Di t a. Di t a and t hat i ncr edi bl e phone of her s. She envi ed her so damn much. Why di d ever yone want t o be l i ke her ? Af t er some t i me, Di t a f ound her sel f i n t he back yar d. She not i ced t he l awn f ur ni t ur e. Ki nda t acky . Par t of her , a l ar ger par t t han she car ed t o admi t , want ed t o smash i t . The f oyer was empt y. Fi nal l y, Vi vi anna t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. Vi vi anna debat ed j ust l eavi ng t he house. She t hought about Gal e. She hat ed her so damn much. She want ed t hat shi r t . Not hi ng el s e woul d do. Why coul dn' t she be mor e l i ke her ? Just t hi nk i ng about i t made her want t o puke. Why di d she come t o t hi s st upi d house par t y i n t he f i r st pl ace? Nobody was i n t he bat hr oom, so Dar by f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. " Wow, chec k out t hat t oi l et , " she sai d t o no one i n par t i cul ar . She hear d a noi se f r om somewher e el se i n t he house. Af t er some t i me, Ki ah f ound her sel f i n t he gar age. The r i di ng l awnmower caught her eye. She t hought i t was t he ugl i est t hi ng she' d ever seen. Thi ngs. The house was f ul l of t hi ngs. When she got ol d enough t o have a house, she' d own not hi ng. The gr eat hal l was empt y. Fi nal l y, Gal e t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. Gal e t ook of f her shoes , got a r unni ng st ar t , a s l i d i n her socks down t he sl i ck har dwood f l oor s. " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he gr eat hal l al l t o mysel f , " t hought Phi l omena. The f ami l y por t r ai t r emi nded her of her mot her . Bar f . She hear d a noi se f r om s omewher e el se i n t he house. She t hought about Vi vi anna. Why coul dn' t she be mor e l i ke her ? Why di d ever yone want t o be l i ke her ? Why di d she come t o t hi s st upi d house par t y i n t he f i r st pl ace?
Di t a br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n s i ght s of t he di ni ng r oom. The di ni ng r oom t abl e r emi nded her of her mot her . Bar f . She di dn' t gi ve i t a second t hought . " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he f oyer al l t o mysel f , " t hought Vi vi anna. The si de t abl e r emi nded her of her mot her . Bar f . Par t of her , a l ar ger par t t han she car ed t o admi t , want ed t o smash i t . Dar by ent er ed t he bat hr oom. She st ar ed at t he f r amed phot o of a f i sh uncompr ehendi ngl y. She wi shed t he booze woul d ki ck i n. She t hought about Ki ah. She want ed t hat wat ch. Not hi ng el se woul d do. Maybe i f t hey coul d j ust be r eal wi t h each ot her f or once. . . Ki ah l ooked ar ound t he f r ont yar d. Ki ah st ar t ed t o cl i mb t he t r ee, t hen t hought bet t er of i t . Af t er some t i me, Gal e f ound her sel f i n t he mast er bedr oom. The t eak dr esser caught her eye. She t hought i t was t he ugl i es t t hi ng she' d ever seen. Par t of her , a l ar ger par t t han she car ed t o admi t , want ed t o smash i t . Di t a and Ki ah r an i nt o each ot her i n t he l i vi ng r oom. " Ki ah, what di d you dr eam about l ast ni ght ?" asked Di t a. Ki ah seemed war y, but her f ace sof t ened. " I was st ayi ng wi t h Pat r i ck f or t he summer . I t was n' t hi s house, t hough. I t was way out i n t he mi ddl e of nowher e, and hi s par ent s wer en' t ar ound. He coul d dr i ve ( he backed out of t he dr i veway at 50 mph) , but we bot h r ode mount ai n bi kes t o some di ml y l i t st or e wher e he want ed t o buy a wooden model ai r pl ane. I t was a l ong dr eam, but i n most of i t I seemed t o be changi ng cl ot hes. I woul d j ust get out of bed and change f r om sl eepwear t o nor mal cl ot hes, or vi ce ver sa. I had a br oken l eg. " Vi vi anna l ooked ar ound t he f oyer . " Wow, check out t hat si de t abl e, " she sai d t o no one i n par t i cul ar . She was hopi ng i t woul d di st r act her , i f f or some br i ef moment , f r om her l i f e. She t hought about school , and how Gal e and Dar by never t al ked t o her . Why di d t hey l eave whenever she ent er ed a r oom? How coul d t hat even be possi bl e? They wer e al ways l aughi ng wi t h t hei r per f ect f r i ends. They wal ked ar ound t he school l i ke t hey owned t he pl ace. Dar by br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he bat hr oom. Dar by r el i eved her sel f . Ki ah f ound Di t a i n t he l i vi ng r oom. Ki ah pl ayed ner vousl y wi t h her wat ch i n a succes sf ul bi d
t o avoi d t al ki ng t o Di t a. Af t er some t i me, Gal e f ound her sel f i n t he mast er bedr oom. The t eak dr esser caught her eye. She t hought i t was t he ugl i es t t hi ng she' d ever seen. Par t of her , a l ar ger par t t han she car ed t o admi t , want ed t o smash i t . Af t er some t i me, Phi l omena f ound her sel f i n t he guest bedr oom. Phi l omena i magi ned what ki nd of peopl e had st ayed i n t he bed. How many peopl e had had sex i n i t ? The f r ont y ar d was empt y. Fi nal l y, Ki ah t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. Ki ah st ar t ed t o cl i mb t he t r ee, t hen t hought bet t er of i t . Vi vi anna encount er ed Di t a i n t he f oyer . " why woul d you pl ay her , she' s per f ect ?" Vi vi anna demanded. " because I have a per f ect God, " s ai d Di t a. Phi l omena l ooked ar ound t he guest bedr oom. Phi l omena guessed t hat t hi s was t he most bor i ng r oom i n t he house. She t hought about Di t a. Di t a and t hat i ncr edi bl e phone of her s. Maybe i f t hey coul d j ust be r eal wi t h each ot her f or once. . . Nobody r eal l y knew how she f el t . Just t hi nki ng about i t made her want t o puke. Di t a br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n s i ght s of t he l i br ar y. Di t a f l i pped t hr ough some books. Af t er some t i me, Ki ah f ound her sel f i n t he l i vi ng r oom. She st ar ed at t he cof f ee t abl e uncompr ehendi ngl y. Why she not i ced i n t he f i r st pl ace was beyond her . Di t a ent er ed t he gr eat hal l . Phi l omena was t her e, as i f wai t i ng. Di t a st ar ed at Phi l omena suspi ci ous l y. The l i vi ng r oom was empt y. Fi nal l y, Vi vi anna t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. Vi vi anna t ur ned on t he TV f or a whi l e. Dar by ent er ed t he gr eat hal l t o f i nd Phi l omena st andi ng t her e. Dar by st ar ed at Phi l omena suspi ci ous l y.
Af t er some t i me, Gal e f ound her sel f i n t he guest bedr oom. Gal e guessed t hat t hi s was t he most bor i ng r oom i n t he house. She t hought about Gal e. Gal e and t hat aquamar i ne ski r t of her s. She want ed t hat ski r t . Not hi ng el se woul d do. Why coul dn' t she be mor e l i ke her ? Maybe i f t hey coul d j ust be r eal wi t h each ot her f or once. . . Why di d she come t o t hi s st upi d house par t y i n t he f i r st pl ace? " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he guest bedr oom al l t o mysel f , " t hought Phi l omena. " Wow, check out t hat post er of a. . . Monet ?, " she sai d t o no one i n par t i cul ar . She was hopi ng i t woul d di st r act her , i f f or some br i ef moment , f r om her l i f e. Di t a ent er ed t he bat hr oom. Di t a was af r ai d, as she al ways was, t hat a mur der er l ay i n ambush behi nd t he shower cur t ai n. She t hought about school , and how Dar by and Vi vi anna had mor e money t han she di d. They wer e queen bees and t hey knew i t . They al ways got t hey want ed. Al ways. " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he f r ont yar d al l t o mysel f , " t hought Vi vi anna. Vi vi anna r an her f i nger s t hr ough t he wel l mani c ur ed gr ass, dr eami ng of bet t er days. The f oyer was empt y. Fi nal l y, Ki ah t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. She not i ced t he chandel i er . Ki nda t acky. Thi ngs. The house was f ul l of t hi ngs. When she got ol d enough t o have a house, she' d own not hi ng. She t hought about Dar by. She envi ed her so damn much. I t was al most t oo much t o deal wi t h. Just t hi nki ng about i t made her want t o puke. Gal e l ook ed ar ound t he gr eat hal l . She dut i f ul l y avoi ded t he t r i bal Af ghan r ug out of some pr i mal r espect f or i t s ot her ness. She was hopi ng i t woul d di st r act her , i f f or some br i ef moment , f r om her l i f e. " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he f r ont yar d al l t o mysel f , " t hought Vi vi anna. She not i ced t he t r ee. Ki nda t acky . She was hopi ng i t woul d di s t r act her , i f f or some br i ef moment , f r om her l i f e. As Dar by ent er ed t he gr eat hal l , s he saw Di t a maki ng t r oubl e. Dar by eyed Di t a' s i ncr edi bl e sweat er wi t h envy. Ki ah ent er ed t he f oyer . Ki ah debat ed j ust l eavi ng t he house.
Phi l omena wal ked i nt o t he gr eat hal l and saw Dar by. Gr eat . Phi l omena l ooked cr oss. " what ' s your f avour i t e col our ?" she demanded. " but bl ue, " sai d Dar by. Phi l omena l ooked ar ound t he gr eat hal l . The next t hi ng she saw was t he f ami l y por t r ai t , whi ch l ef t her f eel i ng di squi et ed. She di dn' t gi ve i t a second t hought . " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he bat hr oom al l t o mysel f , " t hought Di t a. Di t a r el i eved her sel f . Nobody was i n t he guest bedr oom, so Dar by f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. She not i ced t he bed. Ki nda t acky. She was hopi ng i t woul d di st r act her , i f f or some br i ef moment , f r om her l i f e. " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he mast er bat hr oom al l t o mysel f , " t hought Gal e. The bl onde ony x f l oor i ng r emi nded her of her mot her . Bar f . Why she not i ced i n t he f i r st pl ace was beyond her . She t hought about Dar by. Dar by and t hat ost ent at i ous shi r t of her s. She want ed t hat coat . Not hi ng el se woul d do. I t was al most t oo much t o deal wi t h. Maybe i f t hey coul d j ust be r eal wi t h each ot her f or once. . . Nobody r eal l y knew how she f el t . Why di d ever yone want t o be l i ke her ? As Ki ah ent er ed t he l i vi ng r oom, she saw Vi vi anna maki ng t r oubl e. " What i s t he best YouTube vi deo t hat gave someone 15 mi nut es of f ame?" Vi vi anna r ecoi l ed. " mpgi s. " Vi vi anna and Ki ah r an i nt o each ot her i n t he l i vi ng r oom. " What ' s t he best br and of t oi l et paper t o t p someone' s house wi t h?" Vi vi anna asked. " Ni ke, " sai d Ki ah. Phi l omena encount er ed Gal e i n t he mast er bedr oom. Gal e was cr yi ng. Phi l omena act ed on i nst i nc t . " Tel l me al l about i t . " s he sai d. Gal e obl i ged i n an unbecomi ng out pour i ng. " I was wi t h my f ami l y. We went t o buy somet hi ng at a st or e and I f ound t hi s CD I ki nd of want ed so I put i t i n a bag. Then I t r i ed on t hese ugl y r ai nbow col or ed shoes. I put t hese i n a
bag. Lat er , we' r e dr i vi ng and I see t hat I have st ol en bot h t hese t hi ngs, whi ch I di dn' t mean t o do. Then we see some bl ack gangst er s f i ght i ng and my mom si ghs, " pl ease don' t st ar t . " Then t hey st ar t punchi ng peopl e out and Tupac get s r ol l ed i n f r ont of our car & st ar t s scr eami ng somet hi ng at us. " Di t a f ound Dar by i n t he gr eat hal l . " What i s your f avor i t e hol i day t o decor at e f or ?" " Thanksgi v i ng. " The mast er bedr oom hel d t wo i t ems of i nt er est t o Gal e: t he ki ng si zed bed and Phi l omena. Gal e seemed concer ned. " Why woul d you knock out a r andom per son f or t he f un i f i t ?" she asked. " because i j ust ended up l i st eni ng t o a bunch of r andom Japanese met al bands, " sai d Phi l omena. Vi vi anna ent er ed t he l i v i ng r oom. Vi vi anna bounced on t he sof a, hopi ng t o r ecapt ur e her chi l dhood i nnocence. The di ni ng r oom was empt y. Fi nal l y, Ki ah t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. She st ar ed at t he si l ver war e uncompr ehendi ngl y. Par t of her , a l ar ger par t t han she car ed t o admi t , want ed t o smash i t . She t hought about school , and how Dar by and Vi vi anna got bet t er gr ades t han her . Why di d t hey l eave whenever she ent er ed a r oom? How coul d t hat even be possi bl e? They wer e al ways l aughi ng wi t h t hei r per f ect f r i ends. They never i nvi t ed her t o par t i es; i t was a f l uke she ended up at t hi s one. They al ways got t hey want ed. Al ways. But l i f e was pr obabl y har d f or t hem t oo, i n i t s own way. I t al ways i s. Gal e wal k ed i nt o t he mast er bedr oom and saw Phi l omena. Gr eat . Gal e pl ayed ner v ousl y wi t h her s k i r t i n a successf ul bi d t o avoi d t al ki ng t o Phi l omena. Di t a encount er ed Dar by i n t he gr eat hal l . Af t er some t i me, Di t a f ound her sel f i n t he bat hr oom. Di t a j i ggl ed t he t oi l et handl e. Nobody was i n t he gr eat hal l , so Dar by f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. " Wow,
chec k out t hat t r i bal Af ghan r ug, " s he sai d t o no one i n par t i cul ar . She was hopi ng i t woul d di st r act her , i f f or some br i ef moment , f r om her l i f e. The mast er bedr oom hel d t wo i t ems of i nt er est t o Gal e: t he ki ng si zed bed and Phi l omena. Gal e st ar ed at Phi l omena suspi ci ousl y. As Phi l omena ent er ed t he gr eat hal l , she saw Di t a maki ng t r oubl e. Di t a was cr yi ng. Phi l omena act ed on i nst i nct . " Tel l me al l about i t . " she sai d. Di t a obl i ged i n an unbecomi ng out pour i ng. " Wel l , me and a whol e bunch of t eenager s wer e i n a ci r cl e at a par k i n t he Ci t y . We wer e hangi n' out , pl ayi n' f oot bal l and, wei r d enough, s moki ng weed. I onl y t ook one or t wo puf f s but i t was cr azy. I knew t wo peopl e t her e. They wer e cl ose f r i ends but not my age: 17 18. " Nobody was i n t he mast er bedr oom, so Dar by f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. She dut i f ul l y avoi ded t he ki ng si zed bed out of some pr i mal r espect f or i t s ot her ness. She wi shed t he booze woul d ki ck i n. Ki ah ent er ed t he f oyer t o f i nd Vi vi anna st andi ng t her e. Ki ah eyed Vi vi anna' s aquamar i ne sweat er wi t h envy. Gal e br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he mast er bat hr oom. She not i ced t he bl onde onyx f l oor i ng. Ki nda t ac ky. She di dn' t gi ve i t a second t hought . Di t a encount er ed Phi l omena i n t he gr eat hal l . " What ' s t he best t hi ng t o get at bl ack r ock?" Phi l omena yawned. " Not l ovi ng you. " Vi vi anna ent er ed t he f oyer t o f i nd Ki ah st andi ng t her e. " why do you car e what peopl e say ?" asked Vi v i anna. Ki ah yel l ed. " because I hat e when peopl e do i t t o me. " " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he l i br ar y al l t o mysel f , " t hought Vi vi anna. She not i ced t he mahogany wor k desk . Ki nda t acky. Thi ngs. The house was f ul l of t hi ngs. When she got ol d enough t o have a house, she' d own not hi ng. She t hought about Di t a. I t was al most t oo much t o deal wi t h. Why coul dn' t s he be mor e l i ke her ? Maybe i f t hey coul d j ust be r eal wi t h each ot her f or once. . . Why di d ev er yone want t o be l i ke her ? Dar by f ound Phi l omena i n t he gr eat hal l . " Dr eams, "
Dar by sai d. " Tel l me about your dr eams. " Phi l omena al most sai d not hi ng, but t hought bet t er of i t . " I was i n Ni nt endo 64' s Mar i o Br ot her s gamel and, and t hi s bi g bar acuda was chas i ng me ar ound a sunken shi p. I was swi mmi ng as f ast as I coul d. I t was r eal l y st r ange and f ast . " The f oyer was empt y. Fi nal l y, Ki ah t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. The chandel i er r emi nded her of her mot her . Bar f . She hear d a noi se f r om s omewher e el se i n t he house. Gal e l ook ed ar ound t he mast er bedr oom. The ki ng si zed bed r emi nded her of her mot her . Bar f . She was hopi ng i t woul d di st r act her , i f f or some br i ef moment , f r om her l i f e. She t hought about school , and how Phi l omena and Dar by got bet t er gr ades t han her . Di d t hey secr et l y l i ke her af t er al l ? I t di dn' t mat t er anyway. They wer e al ways l aughi ng wi t h t hei r per f ect f r i ends. They wer e queen bees and t hey knew i t . They never i nvi t ed her t o par t i es; i t was a f l uk e she ended up at t hi s one. They al ways got t hey want ed. Al ways. Di d t hey suspect she t hought about t hem so much? Af t er some t i me, Phi l omena f ound her sel f i n t he guest bedr oom. The bed r emi nded her of her mot her . Bar f . She wi shed t he booze woul d ki ck i n. Vi vi anna ent er ed t he f oyer . Vi vi anna debat ed j ust l eavi ng t he house. Ki ah l ooked ar ound t he l i br ar y. Ki ah t r i ed and f ai l ed t o open t he l ock on t he desk. Dar by f ound Di t a i n t he gr eat hal l . Dar by l ooked cr oss. " Why woul d you even post somet hi ng l i ke t hat
?" she demanded.
" because I have somet hi ng t o l ook f or war d t o on t he weekend, " sai d Di t a. Di t a ent er ed t he bat hr oom. Di t a was af r ai d, as she al ways was, t hat a mur der er l ay i n ambush behi nd t he shower cur t ai n. Vi vi anna br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he f r ont yar d. Vi vi anna st ar t ed t o c l i mb t he t r ee, t hen t hought bet t er of i t . Dar by encount er ed Ki ah i n t he gr eat hal l . Dar by l ooked concer ned. " why do you hat e me ?"
she asked. " because I ei t her hat e you or t hi nk you' r e a per son I coul d hat e, " sai d Ki ah. Nobody was i n t he f oyer , so Vi vi anna f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. Vi v i anna debat ed j ust l eavi ng t he house. " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he guest bedr oom al l t o mysel f , " t hought Dar by. Dar by guessed t hat t hi s was t he most bor i ng r oom i n t he house. " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he bat hr oom al l t o mysel f , " t hought Ki ah. Ki ah l ooked ar ound f or t ampons, f i ndi ng none. Di t a ent er ed t he gr eat hal l . Gal e was t her e, as i f wai t i ng. " What ' s t he best t i me t o go t o an al l dayer ?" " Bei ng home al one. " Gal e encount er ed Di t a i n t he gr eat hal l . Nobody was i n t he l i br ar y, so Phi l omena f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. Phi l omena t r i ed and f ai l ed t o open t he l ock on t he desk. She t hought about Phi l omena. Phi l omena and t hat f ashi onabl e sc ar f of her s. She want ed t hat scar f . Not hi ng el se woul d do. Maybe i f t hey coul d j ust be r eal wi t h each ot her f or once. . . Just t hi nki ng about i t made her want t o puke. The bat hr oom hel d t wo i t ems of i nt er est t o Ki ah: t he naut i cal t hemed shower cur t ai n and Di t a. Di t a f ound Ki ah i n t he bat hr oom. " What ' s t he best way t o expr ess your f eel i ngs?" Ki ah si ghed. " Bei ng your sel f . " Nobody was i n t he f oyer , so Phi l omena f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. Phi l omena debat ed j us t l eavi ng t he house. She t hought about Di t a. Di t a and t hat i ncr edi bl e sweat er of her s. She l oved her so damn much. I t was al most t oo much t o deal wi t h. Why
coul dn' t s he be mor e l i ke her ? Maybe i f t hey coul d j ust be r eal wi t h each ot her f or once. . . Nobody r eal l y knew how she f el t . Why di d ever yone want t o be l i ke her ? Just t hi nk i ng about i t made her want t o puke. Nobody was i n t he l i vi ng r oom, so Vi vi anna f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. Vi vi anna bounced on t he sof a, hopi ng t o r ecapt ur e her chi l dhood i nnocence. She t hought about school , and how Di t a and Ki ah had mor e money t han she di d. Why di d t hey l eave whenever she ent er ed a r oom? How coul d t hat even be possi bl e? Di d t hey secr et l y l i ke her af t er al l ? I t di dn' t mat t er anyway. They wer e al ways l aughi ng wi t h t hei r per f ect f r i ends. They wal ked ar ound t he school l i ke t hey owned t he pl ace. They wer e queen bees and t hey knew i t . Gal e ent er ed t he guest bedr oom. Dar by was t her e, as i f wai t i ng. Gal e st ar ed at Dar by suspi ci ous l y. She t hought about s chool , and how Dar by and Gal e got bet t er gr ades t han her . How c oul d t hat even be poss i bl e? They never i nvi t ed her t o par t i es; i t was a f l uke she ended up at t hi s one. They al ways got t hey want ed. Al ways. Ki ah wal k ed i nt o t he bat hr oom and saw Di t a. Gr eat . " Why Do You Feel The Need To Li e About What You Do ?" Di t a squi r med. " Because I hat e col d weat her . " The f oyer was empt y. Fi nal l y, Phi l omena t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. Phi l omena debat ed j ust l eavi ng t he house. She t hought about Phi l omena. She want ed t hat sc ar f . Not hi ng el se woul d do. Why coul dn' t she be mor e l i ke her ? Maybe i f t hey coul d j us t be r eal wi t h each ot her f or once. . . " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he di ni ng r oom al l t o mysel f , " t hought Vi vi anna. The si l ver war e c aught her eye. She t hought i t was t he ugl i es t t hi ng she' d ever seen. She wi shed t he booze woul d ki ck i n. Ki ah ent er ed t he gr eat hal l . Di t a was t her e, as i f wai t i ng. " why woul d you put your c hi l d t hr ough so much st r ess j ust t o l os e, i t ' s r eal l y sad?"
Di t a chuc k l ed. " because I know t he t hi ngs I have been t hr ough have made me t he per son I am t oday. " Nobody was i n t he l i vi ng r oom, so Phi l omena f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. Phi l omena t ur ned on t he TV f or a whi l e. Nobody was i n t he back yar d, so Vi vi anna f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at eas e. She dut i f ul l y avoi ded t he l awn f ur ni t ur e out of some pr i mal r espect f or i t s ot her ness. Thi ngs. The house was f ul l of t hi ngs . When she got ol d enough t o have a house, she' d own not hi ng. " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he bat hr oom al l t o mysel f , " t hought Dar by . Dar by was af r ai d, as she al ways was, t hat a mur der er l ay i n ambush behi nd t he shower cur t ai n. She t hought about Di t a. Di t a and t hat i ncr edi bl e sweat er of her s. I t was al most t oo much t o deal wi t h. Why di d she come t o t hi s st upi d house par t y i n t he f i r st pl ace? Ki ah l ooked ar ound t he gr eat hal l . Ki ah st ar ed down t he hal l , whi ch seemed l onger t han i t had any r i ght t o be. She t hought about Di t a. Di t a and t hat i ncr edi bl e phone of her s. I t was al most t oo much t o deal wi t h. Why di d ever yone want t o be l i ke her ? Just t hi nki ng about i t made her want t o puke. Af t er some t i me, Gal e f ound her sel f i n t he guest bedr oom. Gal e i magi ned what ki nd of peopl e had st ayed i n t he bed. How many peopl e had had sex i n i t ? She t hought about Phi l omena. She want ed t hat phone. Not hi ng el se woul d do. I t was al most t oo muc h t o deal wi t h. May be i f t hey coul d j ust be r eal wi t h each ot her f or once. . . Nobody r eal l y knew how she f el t . Af t er some t i me, Phi l omena f ound her sel f i n t he l i vi ng r oom. Phi l omena bounced on t he sof a, hopi ng t o r ecapt ur e her chi l dhood i nnocence. She t hought about school , and how Ki ah and Gal e had mor e money t han she di d. Wer e t hey j eal ous of her somehow? Not l i kel y. How coul d t hat even be pos si bl e? Di d t hey secr et l y l i ke her af t er al l ? I t di dn' t mat t er anyway. They never i nvi t ed her t o par t i es; i t was a f l uke she ended up at t hi s one. But l i f e was pr obabl y har d f or t hem t oo, i n i t s own way. I t al ways i s. Vi vi anna br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he back yar d. The l awn f ur ni t ur e caught her
eye. She t hought i t was t he ugl i es t t hi ng she' d ever seen. She was hopi ng i t woul d di st r act her , i f f or some br i ef moment , f r om her l i f e. She t hought about school , and how Dar by and Gal e di dn' t have t o t r y har d t o be l i ked. Wer e t hey j eal ous of her somehow? Not l i k el y. They never i nvi t ed her t o par t i es; i t was a f l uke she ended up at t hi s one. They al ways got t hey want ed. Al ways. Di d t hey suspect s he t hought about t hem s o much? Phi l omena br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he f oyer . Phi l omena debat ed j ust l eavi ng t he house. Nobody was i n t he gr eat hal l , so Di t a f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. She not i c ed t he f ami l y por t r ai t . Ki nda t acky. She wi shed t he booze woul d ki ck i n. Dar by br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he guest bedr oom. Dar by i magi ned what ki nd of peopl e had st ayed i n t he bed. How many peopl e had had sex i n i t ? Ki ah l ooked ar ound t he mast er bat hr oom. She dut i f ul l y avoi ded t he bl onde onyx count er t op out of some pr i mal r espect f or i t s ot her ness. Par t of her , a l ar ger par t t han she car ed t o admi t , want ed t o smas h i t . The mast er bedr oom was empt y. Fi nal l y, Gal e t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. She not i c ed t he ki ng si zed bed. Ki nda t acky. Thi ngs. The house was f ul l of t hi ngs. When she got ol d enough t o have a house, she' d own not hi ng. She t hought about Dar by. She want ed t hat coat . Not hi ng el se woul d do. I t was al most t oo much t o deal wi t h. Maybe i f t hey coul d j ust be r eal wi t h each ot her f or once. . . Just t hi nki ng about i t made her want t o puke. Af t er some t i me, Phi l omena f ound her sel f i n t he l i br ar y. She not i ced t he bookshel f . Ki nda t acky . Thi ngs. The house was f ul l of t hi ngs. When she got ol d enough t o have a house, she' d own not hi ng. Vi vi anna br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he ki t chen. Vi vi anna checked t he f r i dge f or snac ks. She t hought about school , and how Di t a and Phi l omena had mor e money t han she di d. Why di d t hey l eave whenever she ent er ed a r oom? Wer e t hey j eal ous of her somehow? Not l i kel y. Di d t hey secr et l y l i ke her af t er al l ? I t di dn' t mat t er anyway. They
wal ked ar ound t he school l i ke t hey owned t he pl ace. Dar by ent er ed t he guest bedr oom. " Wow, check out t hat bed, " she sai d t o no one i n par t i cul ar . She di dn' t gi ve i t a second t hought . Af t er some t i me, Ki ah f ound her sel f i n t he mast er bat hr oom. She not i ced t he bl onde onyx t oi l et . Ki nda t acky. Why she not i ced i n t he f i r st pl ace was beyond her . Phi l omena encount er ed Di t a i n t he gr eat hal l . " Wher e di d you get t hat phone, Di t a?" Di t a i gnor ed her . Nobody was i n t he cl os et , so Vi vi anna f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. " Wow, chec k out t hat br i c a br ac, " she sai d t o no one i n par t i cul ar . She wi shed t he booze woul d ki ck i n. She t hought about Phi l omena. She envi ed her so damn much. Maybe i f t hey coul d j ust be r eal wi t h each ot her f or onc e. . . Why di d ever yone want t o be l i ke her ? Just t hi nki ng about i t made her want t o puke. Why di d she come t o t hi s st upi d house par t y i n t he f i r st pl ace? The guest bedr oom was empt y. Fi nal l y, Dar by t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. Dar by i magi ned what ki nd of peopl e had st ayed i n t he bed. How many peopl e had had sex i n i t ? Di t a ent er ed t he gr eat hal l t o f i nd Phi l omena st andi ng t her e. " why woul d you?" Di t a demanded. " because I l i ke t o pr act i ce bur ni ng i n hel l , " sai d Phi l omena. Nobody was i n t he cl os et , so Vi vi anna f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. She st ar ed at t he br i c a br ac uncompr ehendi ngl y. She di dn' t gi ve i t a second t hought . She t hought about Dar by. Dar by and t hat ost ent at i ous shi r t of her s. She want ed t hat shi r t . Not hi ng el se woul d do. Maybe i f t hey coul d j ust be r eal wi t h each ot her f or once. . . Why di d she come t o t hi s st upi d house par t y i n t he f i r st pl ace? Af t er some t i me, Dar by f ound her sel f i n t he guest bedr oom. She dut i f ul l y avoi ded t he bed out of some pr i mal r espect f or i t s ot her ness. Thi ngs. The house was f ul l of t hi ngs. When
she got ol d enough t o have a hous e, she' d own not hi ng. Ki ah br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he mast er bat hr oom. She not i ced t he bl onde onyx count er t op. Ki nda t acky. She hear d a noi se f r om somewher e el se i n t he house. As Di t a ent er ed t he gr eat hal l , she saw Phi l omena maki ng t r oubl e. Di t a l ooked concer ned. " What i s t he best YouTube vi deo t hat gave someone 15 mi nut es of f ame?" she asked. " Maj est i c Casual . " Di t a ent er ed t he bat hr oom. Di t a r el i eved her sel f . Dar by ent er ed t he guest bedr oom. Dar by i magi ned what ki nd of peopl e had st ayed i n t he bed. How many peopl e had had sex i n i t ? She t hought about school , and how Dar by and Phi l omena never t al ked t o her . Wer e t hey j eal ous of her somehow? Not l i kel y. How coul d t hat even be possi bl e? Di d t hey sec r et l y l i ke her af t er al l ? I t di dn' t mat t er anyway. They never i nvi t ed her t o par t i es; i t was a f l uke she ended up at t hi s one. They al ways got t hey want ed. Al ways. Di d t hey suspect s he t hought about t hem s o much? Ki ah wal k ed i nt o t he mast er bedr oom and saw Phi l omena. Gr eat . Ki ah l ooked conc er ned. " what ' s t he best pi zza pl ace i n t he c i t y?" she i nqui r ed. " Chi cago pi zza. " Phi l omena ent er ed t he mast er bedr oom t o f i nd Ki ah st andi ng t her e. Phi l omena seemed di si nt er es t ed. " Why do you put condoms i nsi de your f r i dge?" she asked. Ki ah yawned. " because I ' m goi ng t o ban condoms and chi l d suppor t . " Af t er some t i me, Vi vi anna f ound her sel f i n t he ki t chen. Vi vi anna r i f l ed t hr ough t he c abi net s f or al cohol . Dar by br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he guest bedr oom. She st ar ed at t he bed uncompr ehendi ngl y. She was hopi ng i t woul d di st r act her , i f f or some br i ef moment , f r om her l i f e. Ki ah and Di t a r an i nt o eac h ot her i n t he gr eat hal l . " Di t a, what di d you dr eam about l ast ni ght ?" asked Ki ah. Di t a seemed war y, but her f ace sof t ened. " I was l eavi ng a hospi t al ,
and s ome guy st epped on my f oot . My l eg was pr onounced br oken. They gave me a cast t hi ng t hat vel cr oed on. When I got home I cal l ed Jacob. I woke up r i ght bef or e I l ef t f or camp. I was car r i ed home j ust l i ke Ker r i St r ug was at t he Ol ympi cs. " Di t a encount er ed Ki ah i n t he gr eat hal l . Phi l omena l ooked ar ound t he l i br ar y. She not i ced t he bookshel f . Ki nda t acky. Thi ngs. The house was f ul l of t hi ngs . When she got ol d enough t o have a house, she' d own not hi ng. Af t er some t i me, Dar by f ound her sel f i n t he guest bedr oom. Dar by guessed t hat t hi s was t he most bor i ng r oom i n t he house. Af t er some t i me, Gal e f ound her sel f i n t he mast er bat hr oom. She dut i f ul l y avoi ded t he bl onde ony x count er t op out of some pr i mal r espect f or i t s ot her ness. Why she not i ced i n t he f i r st pl ace was beyond her . She t hought about school , and how Gal e and Ki ah nev er t al ked t o her . Why di d t hey l eave whenev er she ent er ed a r oom? Wer e t hey j eal ous of her somehow? Not l i kel y. How coul d t hat even be possi bl e? Di d t hey secr et l y l i ke her af t er al l ? I t di dn' t mat t er anyway. They al ways got t hey want ed. Al ways. But l i f e was pr obabl y har d f or t hem t oo, i n i t s own way. I t al ways i s. Di d t hey suspect she t hought about t hem so much? Af t er some t i me, Phi l omena f ound her sel f i n t he f oyer . She dut i f ul l y avoi ded t he si de t abl e out of some pr i mal r espect f or i t s ot her ness. She hear d a noi se f r om somewher e el se i n t he house. She t hought about Gal e. Gal e and t hat t eal shi r t of her s. I t was al most t oo much t o deal wi t h. Why di d ever yone want t o be l i ke her ? Just t hi nki ng about i t made her want t o puke. Why di d she come t o t hi s st upi d house par t y i n t he f i r st pl ace? Gal e l ook ed ar ound t he mast er bat hr oom. " Wow, check out t hat bl onde onyx f l oor i ng, " she sai d t o no one i n par t i c ul ar . Why she not i ced i n t he f i r st pl ace was beyond her . Ki ah wal k ed i nt o t he gr eat hal l and saw Dar by. Gr eat . " What ' s t he best wi ne f or pai r i ng wi t h ci nnamon oat meal ?" Dar by r ecoi l ed. " St el l a Rosa r edwi ne. " Af t er some t i me, Ki ah f ound her sel f i n t he l i br ar y. Ki ah t r i ed and f ai l ed t o open t he l ock on
t he desk. " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he mast er bedr oom al l t o mysel f , " t hought Gal e. The t eak dr esser caught her eye. She t hought i t was t he ugl i est t hi ng she' d ever seen. She wi shed t he booze woul d ki ck i n. Vi vi anna ent er ed t he f oyer t o f i nd Phi l omena st andi ng t her e. " Why woul d you get a t at t oo on your f ac e?" demanded Vi vi anna. " because I can' t even t hi nk of one cool t at t oo t o get , " sai d Phi l omena. Phi l omena ent er ed t he f oyer . Phi l omena debat ed j ust l eavi ng t he house. She t hought about Vi vi anna. She want ed t hat bel t . Not hi ng el se woul d do. Nobody was i n t he l i br ar y, so Vi vi anna f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. Vi vi anna f l i pped t hr ough some books. Ki ah wal k ed i nt o t he gr eat hal l and saw Dar by. Gr eat . " What i s t he best musi cal of al l t i me, t her e' s onl y 1 cor r ect answer ?" " hai r spr ay. " Dar by encount er ed Ki ah i n t he gr eat hal l . Dar by seemed angr y. " why woul d you t r y and t al k t o someone whi l e t hey’ r e wear i ng headphones?" she asked. Ki ah squi r med. " because I have my headphones i n. " Af t er some t i me, Phi l omena f ound her sel f i n t he f r ont yar d. She not i ced t he l awn. Ki nda t acky . She was hopi ng i t woul d di s t r act her , i f f or some br i ef moment , f r om her l i f e. The l i br ar y was empt y. Fi nal l y, Vi vi anna t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. Vi vi anna t r i ed and f ai l ed t o open t he l ock on t he desk. The gr eat hal l was empt y. Fi nal l y, Dar by t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. Dar by t ook of f her shoes, got a r unni ng st ar t , a sl i d i n her socks down t he sl i ck har dwood f l oor s. The l i vi ng r oom was empt y. Fi nal l y, Phi l omena t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk . The
cof f ee t abl e caught her eye. She t hought i t was t he ugl i est t hi ng she' d ever seen. She was hopi ng i t woul d di st r act her , i f f or s ome br i ef moment , f r om her l i f e. She t hought about school , and how Vi vi anna and Phi l omena had mor e money t han she di d. How coul d t hat even be possi bl e? They wal ked ar ound t he school l i ke t hey owned t he pl ace. They never i nvi t ed her t o par t i es; i t was a f l uke she ended up at t hi s one. They al ways got t hey want ed. Al ways. But l i f e was pr obabl y har d f or t hem t oo, i n i t s own way. I t al ways i s. Vi vi anna br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he f oyer . The si de t abl e caught her eye. She t hought i t was t he ugl i est t hi ng she' d ever seen. Thi ngs. The house was f ul l of t hi ngs. When she got ol d enough t o have a house, she' d own not hi ng. She t hought about Gal e. She l i ked her so damn much. I t was al most t oo much t o deal wi t h. Why coul dn' t she be mor e l i ke her ? Maybe i f t hey coul d j ust be r eal wi t h each ot her f or once. . . Just t hi nki ng about i t made her want t o puke. Af t er some t i me, Dar by f ound her sel f i n t he l i br ar y. She not i ced t he bookshel f . Ki nda t acky. She di dn' t gi ve i t a second t hought . Di t a ent er ed t he gr eat hal l t o f i nd Gal e st andi ng t her e. " What ' s t he best wi ne f or pai r i ng wi t h ci nnamon oat meal ?" Di t a i nqui r ed. Gal e beamed. " Scr eami ng Eagl e. " Af t er some t i me, Phi l omena f ound her sel f i n t he di ni ng r oom. The di ni ng r oom t abl e r emi nded her of her mot her . Bar f . Thi ngs. The house was f ul l of t hi ngs. When she got ol d enough t o have a house, she' d own not hi ng. She t hought about Phi l omena. Phi l omena and t hat f ashi onabl e scar f of her s. She want ed t hat phone. Not hi ng el se woul d do. Why di d she come t o t hi s st upi d house par t y i n t he f i r st pl ace? " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he bat hr oom al l t o mysel f , " t hought Gal e. The t oi l et r emi nded her of her mot her . Bar f . Par t of her , a l ar ger par t t han she car ed t o admi t , want ed t o smash i t . Dar by wal k ed i nt o t he gr eat hal l and saw Di t a. Gr eat . " why do you not shar e al l t hat you have?" asked Dar by.
" because I don' t want my f eed f i l l ed up wi t h t he st uf f t hey have t o shar e wi t h soci et y, " sai d Di t a. The gr eat hal l hel d t wo i t ems of i nt er est t o Di t a: t he f ami l y por t r ai t and Gal e. " What ' s t he best l apt op t o r ecor d musi c on?" " The MacBook Ai r , " sai d Gal e. Vi vi anna l ooked ar ound t he l i br ar y . Vi vi anna f l i pped t hr ough some books. She t hought about Vi vi anna. I t was al most t oo much t o deal wi t h. Maybe i f t hey coul d j ust be r eal wi t h each ot her f or once. . . Nobody r eal l y knew how she f el t . Why di d ever yone want t o be l i ke her ? Just t hi nki ng about i t made her want t o puke. Why di d she come t o t hi s st upi d house par t y i n t he f i r st pl ace? Gal e f ound Dar by i n t he gr eat hal l . Gal e pl ayed ner vousl y wi t h her shi r t i n a succes sf ul bi d t o avoi d t al ki ng t o Dar by. Dar by ent er ed t he gr eat hal l . Gal e was t her e, as i f wai t i ng. " what ' s your f avour i t e col our ?" Dar by demanded. " t hat bl ue t hat t he skyr i ght now i s . " Phi l omena ent er ed t he gr eat hal l . Gal e was t her e, as i f wai t i ng. Phi l omena st ar ed at Gal e suspi ci ous l y. Af t er some t i me, Di t a f ound her sel f i n t he l i br ar y. Di t a f l i pped t hr ough some books. She t hought about Ki ah. I t was al most t oo much t o deal wi t h. Maybe i f t hey coul d j ust be r eal wi t h each ot her f or once. . . Nobody was i n t he f oyer , so Vi vi anna f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. Vi v i anna debat ed j ust l eavi ng t he house. Dar by ent er ed t he guest bedr oom. She dut i f ul l y avoi ded t he bed out of some pr i mal r espect f or i t s ot her ness. Par t of her , a l ar ger par t t han she car ed t o admi t , want ed t o smash i t . She t hought about Dar by. She hat ed her so damn much. I t was al most t oo much
t o deal wi t h. Why coul dn' t she be mor e l i ke her ? Af t er some t i me, Ki ah f ound her sel f i n t he mast er bat hr oom. The next t hi ng she saw was t he bl onde onyx count er t op, whi ch l ef t her f eel i ng di squi et ed. Par t of her , a l ar ger par t t han she car ed t o admi t , want ed t o smash i t . Phi l omena ent er ed t he guest bedr oom. Phi l omena i magi ned what ki nd of peopl e had st ayed i n t he bed. How many peopl e had had sex i n i t ? She t hought about school , and how Ki ah and Di t a had mor e money t han she di d. Why di d t hey l eave whenever she ent er ed a r oom? Wer e t hey j eal ous of her somehow? Not l i kel y. Di d t hey secr et l y l i ke her af t er al l ? I t di dn' t mat t er anyway. They wal ked ar ound t he school l i ke t hey owned t he pl ace. They al ways got t hey want ed. Al ways. Di d t hey suspect she t hought about t hem so muc h? Nobody was i n t he l i br ar y, so Di t a f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. Di t a t r i ed and f ai l ed t o open t he l ock on t he desk. Af t er some t i me, Vi vi anna f ound her sel f i n t he l i vi ng r oom. " Wow, check out t hat cof f ee t abl e, " she sai d t o no one i n par t i c ul ar . She wi shed t he booze woul d ki ck i n. The gr eat hal l was empt y. Fi nal l y, Dar by t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. Dar by st ar ed down t he hal l , whi ch seemed l onger t han i t had any r i ght t o be. Gal e l ook ed ar ound t he bat hr oom. She st ar ed at t he t oi l et uncompr ehendi ngl y. She hear d a noi se f r om somewher e el se i n t he house. " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he l i vi ng r oom al l t o mysel f , " t hought Vi vi anna. The f l at scr een TV r emi nded her of her mot her . Bar f . Why she not i ced i n t he f i r st pl ace was beyond her . Af t er some t i me, Gal e f ound her sel f i n t he gr eat hal l . Gal e t ook of f her shoes, got a r unni ng st ar t , a sl i d i n her socks down t he sl i ck har dwood f l oor s. She t hought about Phi l omena. She want ed t hat scar f . Not hi ng el se woul d do. Maybe i f t hey coul d j ust be r eal wi t h each ot her f or once. . . Nobody r eal l y knew how she f el t . Phi l omena ent er ed t he guest bedr oom t o f i nd Gal e st andi ng t her e. Phi l omena eyed Gal e' s
aquamar i ne ski r t wi t h envy. Vi vi anna l ooked ar ound t he l i vi ng r oom. Vi vi anna t ur ned on t he TV f or a whi l e. She t hought about school , and how Ki ah and Vi vi anna t hought t hey wer e so much bet t er t han ever yone el se. Why di d t hey l eave whenever she ent er ed a r oom? Wer e t hey j eal ous of her somehow? Not l i kel y. Dar by ent er ed t he f oyer . She not i ced t he chandel i er . Ki nda t acky. She hear d a noi s e f r om somewher e el se i n t he house. Gal e wal k ed i nt o t he guest bedr oom and saw Phi l omena. Gr eat . Gal e avoi ded Phi l omena. Ki ah and Di t a r an i nt o each ot her i n t he gr eat hal l . The l i vi ng r oom was empt y. Fi nal l y, Vi vi anna t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. Vi vi anna bounced on t he sof a, hopi ng t o r ec apt ur e her chi l dhood i nnocence. Nobody was i n t he f oyer , so Dar by f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. She not i ced t he si de t abl e. Ki nda t acky. She wi shed t he booze woul d ki c k i n. Phi l omena and Gal e r an i nt o each ot her i n t he gr eat hal l . " what ' s your f avour i t e col our ?" asked Phi l omena. " BLACK I S , " sai d Gal e. Di t a f ound Ki ah i n t he guest bedr oom. Phi l omena f ound Dar by i n t he l i br ar y. Phi l omena avoi ded Dar by. Di t a l ooked ar ound t he guest bedr oom. Di t a i magi ned what ki nd of peopl e had st ay ed i n t he bed. How many peopl e had had sex i n i t ? Af t er some t i me, Vi vi anna f ound her sel f i n t he l i vi ng r oom. Vi vi anna t ur ned on t he TV f or a whi l e. She t hought about school , and how Dar by and Di t a di dn' t have t o t r y har d t o be l i ked. How coul d t hat even be possi bl e? They wer e al ways l aughi ng wi t h t hei r per f ect f r i ends. They al ways got t hey want ed. Al ways.
Dar by wal k ed i nt o t he l i br ar y and saw Phi l omena. Gr eat . " why woul d you ever t hi nk t hat t hey wi l l suppor t you?" asked Dar by. Phi l omena chuckl ed. " because I suppor t hi m 100 per cent . " The gr eat hal l was empt y. Fi nal l y, Di t a t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. Di t a t ook of f her shoes , got a r unni ng st ar t , a s l i d i n her socks down t he sl i ck har dwood f l oor s. The l i vi ng r oom was empt y. Fi nal l y, Vi vi anna t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. Vi vi anna t ur ned on t he TV f or a whi l e. Phi l omena f ound Dar by i n t he f oyer . " What ' s t he best way t o expr ess your f eel i ngs ?" i nqui r ed Phi l omena. " Bei ng si ngl e, " sai d Dar by. Nobody was i n t he f oyer , so Phi l omena f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. The chandel i er r emi nded her of her mot her . Bar f . She wi shed t he booze woul d ki ck i n. Af t er some t i me, Vi vi anna f ound her sel f i n t he f r ont yar d. Vi vi anna st ar t ed t o cl i mb t he t r ee, t hen t hought bet t er of i t . She t hought about Di t a. She hat ed her so damn much. She want ed t hat sweat er . Not hi ng el se woul d do. Maybe i f t hey coul d j ust be r eal wi t h each ot her f or once. . . Nobody r eal l y knew how she f el t . Why di d ever yone want t o be l i ke her ? Dar by ent er ed t he l i vi ng r oom. " Wow, check out t hat cof f ee t abl e, " she sai d t o no one i n par t i cul ar . She hear d a noi se f r om somewher e el se i n t he house. As Gal e ent er ed t he gr eat hal l , she saw Di t a maki ng t r oubl e. Gal e st ar ed at Di t a suspi ci ous l y. Phi l omena ent er ed t he f oyer . Phi l omena debat ed j ust l eavi ng t he house. " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he f r ont yar d al l t o mysel f , " t hought Vi vi anna. Vi vi anna st ar t ed t o cl i mb t he t r ee, t hen t hought bet t er of i t . The guest bedr oom was empt y. Fi nal l y, Gal e t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. Gal e
i magi ned what ki nd of peopl e had st ayed i n t he bed. How many peopl e had had sex i n i t ? Phi l omena br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he f oyer . Phi l omena debat ed j ust l eavi ng t he house. " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he bat hr oom al l t o mysel f , " t hought Di t a. The t oi l et r emi nded her of her mot her . Bar f . She wi shed t he booze woul d ki ck i n. The gar age was empt y. Fi nal l y, Vi v i anna t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. The r i di ng l awnmower r emi nded her of her mot her . Bar f . She di dn' t gi ve i t a second t hought . The l i br ar y was empt y. Fi nal l y, Ki ah t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. Ki ah f l i pped t hr ough some books. Nobody was i n t he guest bedr oom, so Gal e f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. She st ar ed at t he post er of a. . . Monet ? uncompr ehendi ngl y. She was hopi ng i t woul d di st r act her , i f f or some br i ef moment , f r om her l i f e. Phi l omena br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he l i vi ng r oom. Phi l omena t ur ned on t he TV f or a whi l e. The gar age was empt y. Fi nal l y, Vi v i anna t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. Vi v i anna cons i der ed get t i ng on t hat l awnmower and r i di ng i t out of t hi s pl ace. The ki t chen was empt y. Fi nal l y, Dar by t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. Dar by r i f l ed t hr ough t he cabi net s f or al cohol . " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he l i br ar y al l t o mysel f , " t hought Ki ah. Ki ah t r i ed and f ai l ed t o open t he l ock on t he desk. As Gal e ent er ed t he gr eat hal l , she saw Di t a maki ng t r oubl e. Gal e eyed Di t a' s i ncr edi bl e phone wi t h envy. The f oyer was empt y. Fi nal l y, Ki ah t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. Ki ah debat ed j ust l eavi ng t he house.
Phi l omena br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he l i vi ng r oom. Phi l omena bounc ed on t he sof a, hopi ng t o r ecapt ur e her chi l dhood i nnocence. Vi vi anna l ooked ar ound t he f r ont y ar d. Vi vi anna st ar t ed t o c l i mb t he t r ee, t hen t hought bet t er of i t . She t hought about school , and how Vi vi anna and Gal e never t al ked t o her . Wer e t hey j eal ous of her somehow? Not l i kel y. How coul d t hat even be possi bl e? Di d t hey secr et l y l i ke her af t er al l ? I t di dn' t mat t er anyway. They wer e al ways l aughi ng wi t h t hei r per f ect f r i ends. Di d t hey suspect s he t hought about t hem so much? Af t er some t i me, Dar by f ound her sel f i n t he cl oset . The br oom r emi nded her of her mot her . Bar f . Par t of her , a l ar ger par t t han she car ed t o admi t , want ed t o smash i t . Ki ah encount er ed Gal e i n t he l i br ar y. Ki ah pl ayed ner vousl y wi t h her wat ch i n a successf ul bi d t o avoi d t al ki ng t o Gal e. She t hought about school , and how Gal e and Ki ah wer e such t ot al bi t ches. How coul d t hat even be possi bl e? They wer e al ways l aughi ng wi t h t hei r per f ect f r i ends. They wer e queen bees and t hey knew i t . They never i nvi t ed her t o par t i es; i t was a f l uk e she ended up at t hi s one. Phi l omena ent er ed t he f r ont yar d. Phi l omena r an her f i nger s t hr ough t he wel l mani c ur ed gr ass, dr eami ng of bet t er days. The l i vi ng r oom was empt y. Fi nal l y, Vi vi anna t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. Vi vi anna bounced on t he sof a, hopi ng t o r ec apt ur e her chi l dhood i nnocence. The cl oset was empt y. Fi nal l y, Dar by t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. Dar by l ooked f or some paper t owel s. Ki ah br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he l i br ar y. Ki ah f l i pped t hr ough some books. The f oyer was empt y. Fi nal l y, Gal e t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. Gal e debat ed j ust l eavi ng t he house. " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he f r ont yar d al l t o mysel f , " t hought Phi l omena. Phi l omena st ar t ed t o cl i mb t he t r ee, t hen t hought bet t er of i t . Di t a ent er ed t he gr eat hal l . Ki ah was t her e, as i f wai t i ng. Ki ah was cr yi ng. Di t a act ed on i nst i nct . " Tel l me al l about i t . " she sai d. Ki ah obl i ged i n an
unbecomi ng out pour i ng. " I was at Gr eat Amer i ca and I was on t he Dr op Zone and t he br eaks f ai l ed. We al l went i nt o t he gr ound. I separ at ed f r om my body and wat ched mysel f get t aken t o t he hospi t al . I woke up wi t h a headache and was wonder i ng wher e my r oom went . My cat baked cooki es f or me. They had pot i n t hem so I got hi gh. The nur se f ound me st oned, wander i ng ar ound t he ki t chen eat i ng kumquat s. " Dar by br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he ki t chen. Dar by r i f l ed t hr ough t he c abi net s f or al cohol . Vi vi anna ent er ed t he l i v i ng r oom t o f i nd Gal e st andi ng t her e. " What i s t he best MOVI E you' ve ev er wat ched?" " Space Jam. " Gal e f ound Vi vi anna i n t he l i vi ng r oom. Gal e seemed di si nt er est ed. " Why woul d you pl ay Tayl or Swi f t her e?" she demanded. Vi vi anna f l i nched. " because I l ove wr i t i ng my own musi c. " " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he f r ont yar d al l t o mysel f , " t hought Phi l omena. Phi l omena r an her f i nger s t hr ough t he wel l mani c ur ed gr ass, dr eami ng of bet t er days. Di t a ent er ed t he guest bedr oom. Di t a i magi ned what ki nd of peopl e had st ayed i n t he bed. How many peopl e had had sex i n i t ? As Vi vi anna ent er ed t he f oyer , she saw Gal e maki ng t r oubl e. " Gal e, what di d you dr eam about l ast ni ght ?" asked Vi vi anna. Gal e seemed war y, but her f ac e sof t ened. " I was wat chi ng 90210, and one gi r l was mad at t he ot her and she was sendi ng vi ci ous not es t o t he ot her . Then al l of a sudden I was i n t hi s r oom and t her e was t hi s huge open door l eadi ng i nt o an eat i ng r oom, l i ke a summer camp t ype eat i ng r oom. I n t he r oom I was i n t her e wer e l et t er s on t he wal l l i ke t he ones on 90210, whi ch was st r ange. Anyway, I got i nt o t he eat i ng r oom and I see P. At t he same t i me we bot h made t hat si gnal wi t h our i ndex f i nger s t o come t o each ot her and mout hed t he wor ds, " y eah, we' r e not shy. " Then we wal ked t owar ds each ot her . My mom t hen woke me up. " Dar by br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he ki t chen. Dar by checked t he f r i dge f or
snac ks. Nobody was i n t he bat hr oom, so Ki ah f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. Ki ah r el i ev ed her sel f . She t hought about school , and how Ki ah and Phi l omena di dn' t have t o t r y har d t o be l i ked. How coul d t hat even be possi bl e? They wer e al ways l aughi ng wi t h t hei r per f ect f r i ends. They al ways got t hey want ed. Al ways. But l i f e was pr obabl y har d f or t hem t oo, i n i t s own way. I t al ways i s. " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he l i vi ng r oom al l t o mysel f , " t hought Phi l omena. Phi l omena t ur ned on t he TV f or a whi l e. Di t a br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n s i ght s of t he guest bedr oom. She not i ced t he post er of a. . . Monet ?. Ki nda t acky. She hear d a noi se f r om somewher e el se i n t he house. Nobody was i n t he cl os et , so Dar by f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. Dar by sur r ept i ci ousl y r ear r anged t he suppl i es. Ki ah br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he gr eat hal l . Ki ah st ar ed down t he hal l , whi ch seemed l onger t han i t had any r i ght t o be. She t hought about school , and how Di t a and Ki ah had mor e money t han she di d. How coul d t hat even be possi bl e? Di d t hey secr et l y l i ke her af t er al l ? I t di dn' t mat t er anyway. They wal ked ar ound t he school l i ke t hey owned t he pl ace. They wer e queen bees and t hey knew i t . They never i nvi t ed her t o par t i es; i t was a f l uke she ended up at t hi s one. But l i f e was pr obabl y har d f or t hem t oo, i n i t s own way. I t al ways i s. Di d t hey suspect she t hought about t hem so muc h? The f oyer hel d t wo i t ems of i nt er est t o Gal e: t he chandel i er and Vi vi anna. Gal e eyed Vi vi anna' s ost ent at i ous bel t wi t h envy. Vi vi anna f ound Gal e i n t he f oyer . Vi vi anna seemed cr oss. " what i s your f avour i t e Chr i st mas r ecor d?" s he asked. Gal e chuc k l ed. " mer r y chr i st mas j ack Howar d. " Phi l omena f ound Gal e i n t he f oyer . " Gal e, what di d you dr eam about l ast ni ght ?" asked Phi l omena. Gal e seemed war y, but her f ace sof t ened. " Ther e wer e t wo humans, a man and
a woman, who wer e dr essed l i ke cavemen. The wer e r unni ng down a ver y st eep r i dge wi t h pi nk f i r e c omi ng out of t hei r mout hs, eyes, and hands. Then t wo al i ens came al ong dr essed i n l ong r obes and poi nt y hat s. The t ook t he power f r om t he humans, and wer e soon spi t t i ng f i r e t oo. They wer e al so mal e and f emal e, t hough I saw t he f emal e most . Then t wo di f f er ent humans c ame al ong who seemed t o be Adam and Eve. Then t he t wo al i ens st ar t ed act i ng l i ke God and hi s wi f e t o t he humans. Al l I r emember f or t he r est of t he ni ght i s bei ng i n a bi g r oom wi t h al l my cl assmat es, mal e and f emal e, havi ng a sl umber par t y. " Di t a ent er ed t he gr eat hal l . She st ar ed at t he f ami l y por t r ai t uncompr ehendi ngl y. She di dn' t gi ve i t a second t hought . Nobody was i n t he f r ont yar d, so Vi vi anna f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at eas e. The t r ee r emi nded her of her mot her . Bar f . She wi shed t he booz e woul d ki ck i n. Dar by ent er ed t he ki t chen. Dar by checked t he f r i dge f or snacks. Gal e encount er ed Phi l omena i n t he f oyer . " what ' s your f avour i t e par t of your body?" " Er i c , " sai d Phi l omena. Af t er some t i me, Dar by f ound her sel f i n t he br eakf ast nook. The t abl e r emi nded her of her mot her . Bar f . Par t of her , a l ar ger par t t han she car ed t o admi t , want ed t o smash i t . Nobody was i n t he bat hr oom, so Ki ah f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. She st ar ed at t he t oi l et uncompr ehendi ngl y. Par t of her , a l ar ger par t t han she car ed t o admi t , want ed t o smash i t . She t hought about school , and how Di t a and Phi l omena had mor e money t han she di d. They wer e queen bees and t hey knew i t . They al ways got t hey want ed. Al ways. Phi l omena ent er ed t he l i vi ng r oom. Vi vi anna was t her e, as i f wai t i ng. " What i s t he best bi t of advi ce you can gi ve i n onl y 2 wor ds?" " t he bui l d up t o Chr i st mas, " sai d Vi vi anna. The l i vi ng r oom hel d t wo i t ems of i nt er est t o Phi l omena: t he cof f ee t abl e and Vi vi anna.
" Vi vi anna, what di d you dr eam about l ast ni ght ?" asked Phi l omena. Vi vi anna seemed war y, but her f ace sof t ened. " I was si t t i ng at home, back i n my Mom' s bedr oom, l yi ng i n bed. Then I hear d t he dog bar ki ng r eal l y l oud. I yel l ed at my mom t o ask why she was bar ki ng but I got no r es ponse. I got up out of bed & no one el se was home. " Vi vi anna encount er ed Phi l omena i n t he l i vi ng r oom. Vi vi anna avoi ded Phi l omena. Ki ah br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he gr eat hal l . Ki ah t ook of f her shoes, got a r unni ng st ar t , a sl i d i n her socks down t he sl i ck har dwood f l oor s. Di t a and Gal e r an i nt o each ot her i n t he f oyer . " What i s t he best MOVI E you' ve ever wat ched?" asked Di t a. " Pr oj ect x, " sai d Gal e. Gal e and Di t a r an i nt o each ot her i n t he f oyer . Af t er some t i me, Phi l omena f ound her sel f i n t he l i vi ng r oom. Phi l omena bounced on t he sof a, hopi ng t o r ecapt ur e her chi l dhood i nnocence. Vi vi anna ent er ed t he f oyer t o f i nd Di t a st andi ng t her e. Di t a l ooked di r ect l y at Vi vi anna. " I had t he wei r dest dr eam, " she sai d. " I was wat chi ng 90210, and one gi r l was mad at t he ot her and she was sendi ng vi ci ous not es t o t he ot her . Then al l of a sudden I was i n t hi s r oom and t her e was t hi s huge open door l eadi ng i nt o an eat i ng r oom, l i ke a summer camp t ype eat i ng r oom. I n t he r oom I was i n t her e wer e l et t er s on t he wal l l i ke t he ones on 90210, whi ch was st r ange. Anyway, I got i nt o t he eat i ng r oom and I s ee P. At t he same t i me we bot h made t hat si gnal wi t h our i ndex f i nger s t o c ome t o each ot her and mout hed t he wor ds, " yeah, we' r e not shy. " Then we wal ked t owar ds each ot her . My mom t hen woke me up. " " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he f r ont yar d al l t o mysel f , " t hought Gal e. " Wow, check out t hat l awn, " she sai d t o no one i n par t i c ul ar . She di dn' t gi ve i t a second t hought . As Di t a ent er ed t he f oyer , she saw Ki ah maki ng t r oubl e. " Wher e di d you get t hat pur se, Ki ah?" Ki ah i gnor ed her . She t hought about school , and how Ki ah and Gal e never t al ked t o her . How c oul d t hat even be poss i bl e? They wal ked ar ound t he school l i ke t hey owned t he
pl ace. They never i nvi t ed her t o par t i es; i t was a f l uke she ended up at t hi s one. But l i f e was pr obabl y har d f or t hem t oo, i n i t s own way. I t al ways i s. Vi vi anna f ound Phi l omena i n t he l i vi ng r oom. " Wher e di d you get t hat phone, Phi l omena?" Phi l omena i gnor ed her . She t hought about Phi l omena. Phi l omena and t hat cr i mson phone of her s. She l oved her so damn much. I t was al most t oo much t o deal wi t h. Why coul dn' t she be mor e l i ke her ? Maybe i f t hey coul d j ust be r eal wi t h each ot her f or once. . . Nobody r eal l y knew how she f el t . Why di d she come t o t hi s st upi d house par t y i n t he f i r st pl ace? Dar by br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he br eakf ast nook. Dar by dr ank some j ui ce, f uck i t , r i ght ? Whose house even was t hi s? Phi l omena ent er ed t he l i vi ng r oom t o f i nd Vi vi anna st andi ng t her e. " What i s your f avor i t e MALL i n NJ ?" " I ' ve deci ded t hat Gl ouc est er Cent er , " sai d Vi vi anna. Phi l omena ent er ed t he f r ont yar d. Vi vi anna was t her e, as i f wai t i ng. " Wher e di d you get t hat bel t , Vi vi anna?" Vi vi anna i gnor ed her . Di t a l ooked ar ound t he f oyer . Di t a debat ed j ust l eavi ng t he house. " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he br eakf ast nook al l t o mysel f , " t hought Dar by. She dut i f ul l y avoi ded t he j ui cer out of some pr i mal r espect f or i t s ot her ness. She was hopi ng i t woul d di st r act her , i f f or some br i ef moment , f r om her l i f e. Nobody was i n t he l i br ar y, so Ki ah f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. She not i ced t he mahogany wor k desk. Ki nda t acky. Par t of her , a l ar ger par t t han she car ed t o admi t , want ed t o smash i t . Nobody was i n t he l i vi ng r oom, so Gal e f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. Gal e t ur ned on t he TV f or a whi l e. Af t er some t i me, Phi l omena f ound her sel f i n t he f r ont yar d. Phi l omena st ar t ed t o cl i mb t he t r ee, t hen t hought bet t er of i t . She t hought about Phi l omena. Nobody r eal l y knew how she
f el t . Di t a ent er ed t he l i vi ng r oom t o f i nd Gal e st andi ng t her e. Di t a st ar ed at Gal e suspi c i ousl y. Dar by ent er ed t he ki t chen. She not i ced t he oven. Ki nda t acky. She di dn' t gi ve i t a s econd t hought . Af t er some t i me, Ki ah f ound her sel f i n t he gr eat hal l . Ki ah t ook of f her shoes, got a r unni ng st ar t , a sl i d i n her socks down t he sl i ck har dwood f l oor s. Gal e ent er ed t he l i vi ng r oom t o f i nd Di t a st andi ng t her e. " What i s t he best musi cal of al l t i me, t her e' s onl y 1 cor r ect answer ?" " Hel ena Bonham Car t er . " Phi l omena l ooked ar ound t he f r ont yar d. Phi l omena r an her f i nger s t hr ough t he wel l mani c ur ed gr ass, dr eami ng of bet t er days. She t hought about school , and how Di t a and Dar by t hought t hey wer e so much bet t er t han ever yone el se. Why di d t hey l eave whenever she ent er ed a r oom? How coul d t hat even be possi bl e? They wer e al ways l aughi ng wi t h t hei r per f ect f r i ends. They wer e queen bees and t hey knew i t . They never i nvi t ed her t o par t i es; i t was a f l uke she ended up at t hi s one. Vi vi anna l ooked ar ound t he f oyer . She dut i f ul l y avoi ded t he chandel i er out of some pr i mal r espect f or i t s ot her ness. Thi ngs. The house was f ul l of t hi ngs. When she got ol d enough t o have a house, she' d own not hi ng. Dar by ent er ed t he di ni ng r oom. The di ni ng r oom t abl e caught her eye. She t hought i t was t he ugl i es t t hi ng she' d ever seen. Why she not i ced i n t he f i r st pl ace was beyond her . Ki ah br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he l i br ar y. " Wow, check out t hat bookshel f , " she sai d t o no one i n par t i c ul ar . Why she not i ced i n t he f i r st pl ace was beyond her . Gal e wal k ed i nt o t he l i v i ng r oom and saw Di t a. Gr eat . " What i s your f avour i t e gr oup?" Di t a beamed. " Rest l ess Road. "
As Phi l omena ent er ed t he l i vi ng r oom, she saw Di t a maki ng t r oubl e. Di t a l ooked di r ect l y at Phi l omena. " I had t he wei r dest dr eam, " she sai d. " I had j ust spent t he ni ght over at my best f r i end' s house and we wer e waki ng up on a gor geous spr i ng mor ni ng. She had t o go t o school , but I di dn' t , so I want ed t o go wi t h her . She l i ves l ess t han a bl ock away f r om her school , and I was j eal ous t hat she coul d wake up at 7: 30 and make i t t o school by 8. I was shav i ng my l egs wi t h her el ect r i c r azor and t hen we went i nt o her back yar d and went swi mmi ng i n t he cool wat er . " Di t a ent er ed t he l i vi ng r oom t o f i nd Phi l omena st andi ng t her e. Di t a eyed Phi l omena' s f ashi onabl e scar f wi t h envy. Vi vi anna wal ked i nt o t he f oyer and saw Ki ah. Gr eat . Vi vi anna eyed Ki ah' s f ashi onabl e pur se wi t h envy. The back y ar d was empt y. Fi nal l y, Dar by t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. The gas gr i l l caught her eye. She t hought i t was t he ugl i est t hi ng she' d ever seen. She was hopi ng i t woul d di s t r act her , i f f or some br i ef moment , f r om her l i f e. Nobody was i n t he f r ont yar d, so Gal e f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. Gal e r an her f i nger s t hr ough t he wel l mani cur ed gr ass, dr eami ng of bet t er days. She t hought about school , and how Gal e and Phi l omena got bet t er gr ades t han her . Wer e t hey j eal ous of her somehow? Not l i kel y. They wal ked ar ound t he school l i ke t hey owned t he pl ace. But l i f e was pr obabl y har d f or t hem t oo, i n i t s own way. I t al ways i s. Ki ah encount er ed Vi vi anna i n t he f oyer . " What i s your f avour i t e gr oup?" Vi vi anna beamed. " Thi s. " Di t a ent er ed t he f r ont yar d. Gal e was t her e, as i f wai t i ng. Di t a pl ayed ner vousl y wi t h her phone i n a successf ul bi d t o avoi d t al ki ng t o Gal e. The f oyer hel d t wo i t ems of i nt er est t o Ki ah: t he chandel i er and Phi l omena. Ki ah eyed Phi l omena' s cr i mson phone wi t h envy. She t hought about school , and how Phi l omena and Phi l omena t hought t hey wer e so much bet t er t han ever yone el se. How coul d t hat even be
poss i bl e? Di d t hey secr et l y l i ke her af t er al l ? I t di dn' t mat t er anyway. They wer e al ways l aughi ng wi t h t hei r per f ect f r i ends. They al ways got t hey want ed. Al ways. Di d t hey suspect she t hought about t hem so much? Phi l omena encount er ed Ki ah i n t he f oyer . " what ' s your f avour i t e sex posi t i on?" asked Phi l omena. " St r ai ght f cki n, " sai d Ki ah. Gal e ent er ed t he f r ont yar d t o f i nd Di t a st andi ng t her e. " What ' s t he best t i me t o go t o an al l dayer ?" " Wi nt er , " s ai d Di t a. " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he l i br ar y al l t o mysel f , " t hought Phi l omena. Phi l omena t r i ed and f ai l ed t o open t he l ock on t he desk. " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he ki t chen al l t o mysel f , " t hought Dar by. She not i ced t he oven. Ki nda t acky . Thi ngs. The house was f ul l of t hi ngs. When she got ol d enough t o have a house, she' d own not hi ng. Ki ah wal ked i nt o t he f r ont yar d and saw Vi vi anna. Gr eat . " Dr eams, " Ki ah sai d. " Tel l me about your dr eams. " Vi vi anna al most sai d not hi ng, but t hought bet t er of i t . " I t i s ver y , ver y har d t o descr i be what happened. Wel l , i n t hi s dr eam, whi ch i s a ni ght mar e, t her e i s a bi g smoot h pi ece of whi t e sat i n and a cor ner i n an al l eyway f i l l ed wi t h t r ash. I r un back and f or t h t o t he sat i n t hen t he t r ash, back and f or t h and back and f or t h. But i n t he mi ddl e of t he pi ece of sat i n i s a woman. I t wi nds up bei ng my mom and her bed because I j ump out of bed and r un back and f or t h ( i n r eal l i f e, but I ' m most l y asl eep) . " Gal e br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he f oyer . Gal e debat ed j ust l eavi ng t he house. As Di t a ent er ed t he f r ont yar d, she saw Ki ah maki ng t r oubl e. Di t a l ooked angr y. " What i s your f avor i t e envi r onment f or an event ?" she asked. Ki ah si ghed. " The Doj o. " As Vi vi anna ent er ed t he f r ont yar d, she saw Ki ah maki ng t r oubl e. " Why do you t hi nk I woul d
t r ust y' al l ?" asked Vi vi anna. " because I don' t t hi nk t hat t hey' d under st and, " sai d Ki ah. Phi l omena br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he gr eat hal l . The f ami l y por t r ai t r emi nded her of her mot her . Bar f . She wi shed t he booze woul d ki ck i n. Vi vi anna br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he gar age. Vi vi anna t r i ed t o j i mmy t he l ock on t he car and ended up set t i ng of f t he al ar m. Whoops. Dar by ent er ed t he di ni ng r oom. She st ar ed at t he si l ver war e uncompr ehendi ngl y. She di dn' t gi ve i t a second t hought . Ki ah encount er ed Di t a i n t he l i vi ng r oom. Ki ah avoi ded Di t a. Gal e encount er ed Ki ah i n t he l i vi ng r oom. Gal e eyed Ki ah' s ost ent at i ous wat ch wi t h envy. Af t er some t i me, Phi l omena f ound her sel f i n t he gr eat hal l . Phi l omena st ar ed down t he hal l , whi ch seemed l onger t han i t had any r i ght t o be. She t hought about school , and how Ki ah and Vi vi anna di dn' t hav e t o t r y har d t o be l i ked. Why di d t hey l eave whenever she ent er ed a r oom? Wer e t hey j eal ous of her somehow? Not l i kel y. Di d t hey secr et l y l i ke her af t er al l ? I t di dn' t mat t er anyway. They wer e queen bees and t hey knew i t . But l i f e was pr obabl y har d f or t hem t oo, i n i t s own way. I t al ways i s. Di t a and Ki ah r an i nt o each ot her i n t he l i vi ng r oom. Di t a eyed Ki ah' s ost ent at i ous wat ch wi t h envy . She t hought about Ki ah. Ki ah and t hat ost ent at i ous wat ch of her s. She l i ked her so damn much. She want ed t hat pur se. Not hi ng el se woul d do. I t was al most t oo much t o deal wi t h. Why coul dn' t she be mor e l i ke her ? Maybe i f t hey coul d j ust be r eal wi t h each ot her f or once. . . Dar by wal ked i nt o t he back yar d and saw Vi vi anna. Gr eat . Vi vi anna st i f f ened and began t o r ambl e, not not i ci ng Dar by, as i f i n a f ugue st at e. " I was t al ki ng t o t hi s gi r l I have never met bef or e, and Leah comes up and yel l s t he f i r e dr i l l at us, and we al l r un up t o t he upper par ki ng l ot at My school . When we get t her e no one el se i s t her e. So we l ook at Leah, but she' s not Leah anymor e, she i s a snake. She chases us up a t r ee wher e we get st uck. Then I woke up. " Ki ah ent er ed t he l i vi ng r oom t o f i nd Di t a st andi ng t her e. Di t a
l ooked di r ect l y at Ki ah. " I had t he wei r dest dr eam, " she sai d. " I was i n my r oom maki ng out f i t s any ever yt hi ng, wi t h some guy hel pi ng me, and t he next t hi ng I know I was i n my yar d at 9: 00 a. m. dr owni ng i n t he r ai n wi t h my best f r i end. A car went by and my f r i end sai d t hat was her mom, so we bet t er get i nsi de and get r eady t o go. She st ar t ed r eal l y shi ver i ng so I sai d f i ne. We t r i ed t o gr ab al l t he paper . She r an i nsi de wi t h a bunch of scr aps of paper , wel l I t r i ed t o get t he r est . Then my mom and dad pul l ed i n so I r an i nsi de and my s i st er s wer e on t he couch and we st ar t ed t al ki ng. Then I not i ced t her e was muddy paw pr i nt s f r om my dog goi ng up t he st ai r s. So I t hought I have t o go cl ean i t . " Vi vi anna l ooked ar ound t he ki t chen. Vi vi anna checked t he f r i dge f or snacks. As Ki ah ent er ed t he f r ont yar d, she saw Di t a maki ng t r oubl e. " what ' s your f avor i t e coupl e?" Ki ah asked. Di t a squi r med. " Ci ar a & Fut ur e. " Nobody was i n t he l i vi ng r oom, so Di t a f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. She st ar ed at t he cof f ee t abl e uncompr ehendi ngl y. Why she not i ced i n t he f i r st pl ace was beyond her . Vi vi anna l ooked ar ound t he ki t chen. " Wow, check out t hat oven, " she sai d t o no one i n par t i cul ar . Why she not i ced i n t he f i r st pl ace was beyond her . Gal e and Dar by r an i nt o each ot her i n t he back yar d. Gal e pl ayed ner vousl y wi t h her ski r t i n a success f ul bi d t o avoi d t al ki ng t o Dar by. She t hought about Dar by. I t was al most t oo much t o deal wi t h. Why coul dn' t she be mor e l i ke her ? Phi l omena br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he mast er bat hr oom. She st ar ed at t he bl onde ony x f l oor i ng uncompr ehendi ngl y. She di dn' t gi ve i t a second t hought . Nobody was i n t he f oyer , so Di t a f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. Di t a debat ed j ust l eavi ng t he house. She t hought about school , and how Gal e and Vi vi anna never t al ked t o her . Why di d t hey l eave whenev er she ent er ed a r oom? Wer e t hey j eal ous of her somehow? Not l i kel y. They wer e al ways l aughi ng wi t h t hei r per f ect f r i ends. They wer e
queen bees and t hey k new i t . They never i nvi t ed her t o par t i es; i t was a f l uke she ended up at t hi s one. But l i f e was pr obabl y har d f or t hem t oo, i n i t s own way. I t al ways i s. Vi vi anna ent er ed t he ki t chen. Vi vi anna checked t he f r i dge f or snacks. Af t er some t i me, Dar by f ound her sel f i n t he gar age. Dar by peer ed i n t he car door f or some ki nd of cl ue as t o whose house t hi s was. Gal e br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he back yar d. She not i ced t he gas gr i l l . Ki nda t acky . She hear d a noi se f r om somewher e el se i n t he house. Di t a ent er ed t he f oyer . Di t a debat ed j ust l eavi ng t he house. She t hought about Gal e. Gal e and t hat aquamar i ne ski r t of her s. I t was al most t oo much t o deal wi t h. Why coul dn' t she be mor e l i ke her ? Maybe i f t hey coul d j ust be r eal wi t h each ot her f or once. . . Nobody r eal l y knew how she f el t . Jus t t hi nki ng about i t made her want t o puke. The ki t chen was empt y. Fi nal l y, Vi vi anna t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. She not i ced t he kni f e set . Ki nda t acky. Why she not i ced i n t he f i r st pl ace was beyond her . " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he f r ont yar d al l t o mysel f , " t hought Dar by. The l awn caught her eye. She t hought i t was t he ugl i est t hi ng she' d ever seen. She wi shed t he booze woul d ki ck i n. Gal e l ook ed ar ound t he di ni ng r oom. The si l ver war e caught her eye. She t hought i t was t he ugl i est t hi ng she' d ever seen. Thi ngs. The house was f ul l of t hi ngs. When she got ol d enough t o have a house, she' d own not hi ng. She t hought about school , and how Dar by and Gal e got bet t er gr ades t han her . They wer e al ways l aughi ng wi t h t hei r per f ect f r i ends. They al ways got t hey want ed. Al ways. But l i f e was pr obabl y har d f or t hem t oo, i n i t s own way. I t al ways i s. Di d t hey suspect she t hought about t hem so muc h? Af t er some t i me, Phi l omena f ound her sel f i n t he mast er bat hr oom. The bl onde onyx count er t op caught her eye. She t hought i t was t he ugl i est t hi ng she' d ever seen. Thi ngs. The house was f ul l of t hi ngs . When she got ol d enough t o have a house, she' d own not hi ng. She t hought about school , and how Phi l omena and Gal e t hought t hey wer e so much bet t er t han ever yone el se. Why di d t hey l eave whenever she ent er ed a r oom? Wer e t hey j eal ous of her
somehow? Not l i kel y. They wer e queen bees and t hey knew i t . They al ways got t hey want ed. Al ways. Vi vi anna ent er ed t he ki t chen. She dut i f ul l y avoi ded t he f r i dge out of some pr i mal r espect f or i t s ot her ness. Why she not i ced i n t he f i r st pl ace was beyond her . The l i vi ng r oom was empt y. Fi nal l y, Gal e t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. Gal e bounced on t he sof a, hopi ng t o r ec apt ur e her chi l dhood i nnocence. She t hought about Phi l omena. Phi l omena and t hat f ashi onabl e scar f of her s. She l oved her so damn much. She want ed t hat scar f . Not hi ng el se woul d do. Why coul dn' t she be mor e l i ke her ? Why di d ever yone want t o be l i ke her ? Dar by ent er ed t he l i vi ng r oom. She st ar ed at t he f l at scr een TV uncompr ehendi ngl y. She wi shed t he booze woul d ki ck i n. The f r ont y ar d hel d t wo i t ems of i nt er est t o Gal e: t he l awn and Di t a. Gal e avoi ded Di t a. Di t a ent er ed t he f r ont yar d t o f i nd Gal e st andi ng t her e. " what i s t he best deci si on you' l l ever make?" Di t a demanded. Gal e r ecoi l ed. " Thi s sl ur pee. " Di t a ent er ed t he f r ont yar d. " Wow, check out t hat l awn, " she sai d t o no one i n par t i cul ar . She was hopi ng i t woul d di st r act her , i f f or some br i ef moment , f r om her l i f e. Vi vi anna l ooked ar ound t he ki t chen. The f r i dge caught her eye. She t hought i t was t he ugl i est t hi ng she' d ever seen. She wi shed t he booze woul d ki ck i n. Af t er some t i me, Dar by f ound her sel f i n t he f oyer . The si de t abl e caught her eye. She t hought i t was t he ugl i est t hi ng she' d ever seen. Thi ngs. The house was f ul l of t hi ngs. When she got ol d enough t o have a hous e, she' d own not hi ng. " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he mast er bedr oom al l t o mysel f , " t hought Ki ah. The ki ng si zed bed r emi nded her of her mot her . Bar f . She di dn' t gi ve i t a second t hought . Nobody was i n t he l i vi ng r oom, so Gal e f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. Gal e
bounced on t he sof a, hopi ng t o r ec apt ur e her chi l dhood i nnocence. She t hought about school , and how Ki ah and Vi vi anna had mor e money t han s he di d. How coul d t hat even be poss i bl e? They al ways got t hey want ed. Al ways. Phi l omena and Ki ah r an i nt o each ot her i n t he mast er bat hr oom. Phi l omena pl ayed ner vousl y wi t h her phone i n a successf ul bi d t o avoi d t al ki ng t o Ki ah. Dar by ent er ed t he f r ont yar d. Di t a was t her e, as i f wai t i ng. " Wher e di d you get t hat sweat er , Di t a?" Di t a i gnor ed her . She t hought about school , and how Di t a and Gal e di dn' t have t o t r y har d t o be l i ked. Wer e t hey j eal ous of her somehow? Not l i kel y. Di d t hey secr et l y l i ke her af t er al l ? I t di dn' t mat t er anyway. The l i vi ng r oom was empt y. Fi nal l y, Gal e t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. The next t hi ng she saw was t he cof f ee t abl e, whi ch l ef t her f eel i ng di squi et ed. She hear d a noi se f r om somewher e el se i n t he house. As Ki ah ent er ed t he mast er bat hr oom, she saw Phi l omena maki ng t r oubl e. " what ' s your f avour i t e memor y of t hi s year s r ugby t weet us her e?" " Danci ng wi t h you i n my ki t chen. " Af t er some t i me, Dar by f ound her sel f i n t he f r ont yar d. Dar by st ar t ed t o cl i mb t he t r ee, t hen t hought bet t er of i t . Di t a f ound Gal e i n t he f oyer . Di t a seemed cr oss. " what ' s your f avor i t e coupl e?" she asked. " Ci ar a & Fut ur e, " sai d Gal e. Gal e wal k ed i nt o t he f oyer and saw Di t a. Gr eat . " What ' s t he best l apt op t o r ecor d musi c on?" " t hi s. " Nobody was i n t he gr eat hal l , so Phi l omena f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. The next t hi ng she saw was t he f ami l y por t r ai t , whi ch l ef t her f eel i ng di squi et ed. She was hopi ng
i t woul d di st r act her , i f f or some br i ef moment , f r om her l i f e. Af t er some t i me, Di t a f ound her sel f i n t he l i vi ng r oom. The f l at scr een TV caught her eye. She t hought i t was t he ugl i est t hi ng she' d ever seen. Why she not i ced i n t he f i r st pl ace was beyond her . Af t er some t i me, Vi vi anna f ound her sel f i n t he ki t chen. She dut i f ul l y avoi ded t he kni f e set out of some pr i mal r espect f or i t s ot her ness. Par t of her , a l ar ger par t t han she car ed t o admi t , want ed t o smas h i t . She t hought about Di t a. She envi ed her so damn much. Maybe i f t hey coul d j ust be r eal wi t h each ot her f or once. . . Why di d ever yone want t o be l i ke her ? Why di d she come t o t hi s st upi d house par t y i n t he f i r st pl ace? Nobody was i n t he gar age, so Dar by f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. She not i c ed t he BMW. Ki nda t acky. Why she not i ced i n t he f i r st pl ace was beyond her . Gal e ent er ed t he f r ont yar d. She s t ar ed at t he l awn uncompr ehendi ngl y. Why she not i ced i n t he f i r st pl ace was beyond her . Phi l omena br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he l i br ar y. Phi l omena f l i pped t hr ough some book s. " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he l i vi ng r oom al l t o mysel f , " t hought Di t a. The next t hi ng she saw was t he cof f ee t abl e, whi ch l ef t her f eel i ng di squi et ed. She was hopi ng i t woul d di st r act her , i f f or some br i ef moment , f r om her l i f e. She t hought about school , and how Dar by and Di t a di dn' t have t o t r y har d t o be l i ked. Why di d t hey l eave whenever s he ent er ed a r oom? They wal ked ar ound t he school l i ke t hey owned t he pl ace. But l i f e was pr obabl y har d f or t hem t oo, i n i t s own way. I t al ways i s. Af t er some t i me, Vi vi anna f ound her sel f i n t he back yar d. She not i ced t he gas gr i l l . Ki nda t acky . She hear d a noi se f r om somewher e el se i n t he house. Af t er some t i me, Ki ah f ound her sel f i n t he gr eat hal l . Ki ah t ook of f her shoes, got a r unni ng st ar t , a sl i d i n her socks down t he sl i ck har dwood f l oor s.
Gal e encount er ed Dar by i n t he gar age. Gal e avoi ded Dar by. The l i br ar y was empt y. Fi nal l y, Phi l omena t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. She st ar ed at t he bookshel f uncompr ehendi ngl y. Thi ngs. The house was f ul l of t hi ngs. When she got ol d enough t o have a house, she' d own not hi ng. Di t a ent er ed t he l i vi ng r oom. The f l at scr een TV caught her eye. She t hought i t was t he ugl i est t hi ng she' d ever seen. Why she not i ced i n t he f i r st pl ace was beyond her . Af t er some t i me, Ki ah f ound her sel f i n t he gr eat hal l . She st ar ed at t he t r i bal Af ghan r ug uncompr ehendi ngl y. She was hopi ng i t woul d di st r act her , i f f or some br i ef moment , f r om her l i f e. The gr eat hal l was empt y. Fi nal l y, Phi l omena t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. " Wow, chec k out t hat t r i bal Af ghan r ug, " s he sai d t o no one i n par t i cul ar . She wi shed t he booze woul d ki ck i n. She t hought about Gal e. She want ed t hat ski r t . Not hi ng el se woul d do. Nobody r eal l y knew how she f el t . Vi vi anna wal ked i nt o t he l i vi ng r oom and saw Di t a. Gr eat . Vi vi anna eyed Di t a' s i ncr edi bl e phone wi t h envy. She t hought about school , and how Di t a and Phi l omena had mor e money t han she di d. Why di d t hey l eave whenever she ent er ed a r oom? How coul d t hat ev en be poss i bl e? They al ways got t hey want ed. Al ways. But l i f e was pr obabl y har d f or t hem t oo, i n i t s own way. I t al ways i s. Di d t hey suspect she t hought about t hem so much? The mast er bedr oom was empt y. Fi nal l y, Ki ah t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. The t eak dr ess er caught her eye. She t hought i t was t he ugl i est t hi ng she' d ever seen. Why she not i c ed i n t he f i r st pl ace was beyond her . Phi l omena br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he gr eat hal l . She st ar ed at t he t r i bal Af ghan r ug uncompr ehendi ngl y. She was hopi ng i t woul d di st r act her , i f f or some br i ef moment , f r om her l i f e. She t hought about school , and how Vi vi anna and Ki ah had mor e money t han she di d. Why di d t hey l eave whenever she ent er ed a r oom? How coul d t hat even be possi bl e? They wer e queen bees and t hey knew i t . But l i f e was pr obabl y har d f or
t hem t oo, i n i t s own way. I t al ways i s. Di d t hey suspect she t hought about t hem so much? The f r ont y ar d was empt y. Fi nal l y, Di t a t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. She not i ced t he l awn. Ki nda t acky. She wi shed t he booze woul d ki ck i n. Vi vi anna ent er ed t he l i v i ng r oom. She dut i f ul l y avoi ded t he f l at scr een TV out of some pr i mal r espect f or i t s ot her ness. She hear d a noi se f r om somewher e el se i n t he house. She t hought about school , and how Ki ah and Gal e had mor e money t han she di d. Di d t hey secr et l y l i ke her af t er al l ? I t di dn' t mat t er anyway. They wer e queen bees and t hey knew i t . But l i f e was pr obabl y har d f or t hem t oo, i n i t s own way. I t al ways i s. Ki ah ent er ed t he mast er bat hr oom. The next t hi ng she saw was t he bl onde onyx f l oor i ng, whi ch l ef t her f eel i ng di squi et ed. Why she not i ced i n t he f i r st pl ace was beyond her . She t hought about Di t a. She hat ed her so damn much. I t was al most t oo much t o deal wi t h. Why di d ever yone want t o be l i ke her ? Just t hi nki ng about i t made her want t o puke. " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he f oyer al l t o mysel f , " t hought Di t a. Di t a debat ed j ust l eavi ng t he house. Dar by ent er ed t he back yar d. The next t hi ng she saw was t he l awn f ur ni t ur e, whi ch l ef t her f eel i ng di squi et ed. She was hopi ng i t woul d di st r act her , i f f or some br i ef moment , f r om her l i f e. Af t er some t i me, Ki ah f ound her sel f i n t he mast er bat hr oom. The bl onde onyx count er t op r emi nded her of her mot her . Bar f . She di dn' t gi ve i t a second t hought . She t hought about school , and how Vi vi anna and Di t a wer e such t ot al bi t ches. They wer e al ways l aughi ng wi t h t hei r per f ec t f r i ends. They wal ked ar ound t he school l i ke t hey owned t he pl ace. They never i nvi t ed her t o par t i es; i t was a f l uke she ended up at t hi s one. But l i f e was pr obabl y har d f or t hem t oo, i n i t s own way. I t al ways i s. Di d t hey suspect she t hought about t hem so much? Af t er some t i me, Gal e f ound her sel f i n t he gar age. The BMW r emi nded her of her mot her . Bar f . She hear d a noi se f r om somewher e el se i n t he house. She t hought about Gal e. She l oved her s o damn much. I t was al most t oo much t o deal wi t h. Why coul dn' t she be mor e l i ke her ? Maybe i f t hey coul d j ust be r eal wi t h each ot her f or once. . . Nobody r eal l y knew how she f el t . Why di d ever yone want t o be l i ke her ? Just t hi nki ng about i t made her want t o
puke. Why di d she come t o t hi s st upi d house par t y i n t he f i r st pl ace? Phi l omena ent er ed t he l i br ar y. Phi l omena f l i pped t hr ough some books. Di t a l ooked ar ound t he f oyer . " Wow, check out t hat si de t abl e, " she sai d t o no one i n par t i cul ar . She was hopi ng i t woul d di st r act her , i f f or some br i ef moment , f r om her l i f e. " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he gar age al l t o mysel f , " t hought Vi vi anna. She st ar ed at t he BMW uncompr ehendi ngl y. She di dn' t gi v e i t a second t hought . She t hought about Phi l omena. She l i ked her so damn much. I t was al most t oo much t o deal wi t h. Nobody r eal l y knew how she f el t . Why di d ever yone want t o be l i ke her ? Just t hi nki ng about i t made her want t o puke. Dar by br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he ki t chen. She st ar ed at t he kni f e set uncompr ehendi ngl y. She hear d a noi se f r om somewher e el se i n t he house. Af t er some t i me, Ki ah f ound her sel f i n t he mast er bedr oom. The ki ng si zed bed r emi nded her of her mot her . Bar f . She wi shed t he booze woul d ki ck i n. Phi l omena encount er ed Di t a i n t he f oyer . Phi l omena avoi ded Di t a. Di t a f ound Phi l omena i n t he f oyer . " Phi l omena, what di d you dr eam about l ast ni ght ?" asked Di t a. Phi l omena seemed war y, but her f ace sof t ened. " I was i n t he war hospi t al r unni ng ar ound t r yi ng t o t ake car e of pat i ent s, but I was r unni ng out of t i me or somet hi ng. Then some ot her nur ses came ( Lt . Bf j i k, and Gener al Camand) and t ol d me t o t ake a br eak. The wei r d t hi ng was t hat I knew t hat I was t he one r unni ng ar ound, car i ng f or pat i ent s, but I di dn' t l ook l i ke my sel f at al l . The t wo nur ses wer e my f r i ends, Ni na and Hi l ar y, but t hey di dn' t l ook how t hey l ook now, ei t her ! " Af t er some t i me, Dar by f ound her sel f i n t he br eakf ast nook. " Wow, check out t hat t oast er , " she sai d t o no one i n par t i cul ar . She was hopi ng i t woul d di st r act her , i f f or some br i ef moment , f r om her l i f e. As Gal e ent er ed t he back yar d, she saw Vi vi anna maki ng t r oubl e. " Why woul d you f eel bad, you pl ayed soccer am I wr ong?"
" because i t hought you say ' pl ai d' l i ke ' pl ayed' when r eal l y you say i t l i ke ' pl ad' wow i hat e me, " sai d Vi vi anna. The l i vi ng r oom was empt y. Fi nal l y, Phi l omena t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk . The f l at scr een TV caught her eye. She t hought i t was t he ugl i est t hi ng she' d ever seen. She wi shed t he booze woul d ki ck i n. The l i br ar y was empt y. Fi nal l y, Di t a t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. She not i c ed t he bookshel f . Ki nda t acky. She di dn' t gi ve i t a second t hought . She t hought about Vi v i anna. Vi vi anna and t hat aquamar i ne sweat er of her s. She want ed t hat sweat er . Not hi ng el se woul d do. I t was al most t oo much t o deal wi t h. Maybe i f t hey coul d j ust be r eal wi t h each ot her f or once. . . Nobody r eal l y knew how she f el t . Just t hi nki ng about i t made her want t o puke. Why di d she come t o t hi s st upi d house par t y i n t he f i r st pl ace? Vi vi anna l ooked ar ound t he gar age. She dut i f ul l y avoi ded t he BMW out of some pr i mal r espect f or i t s ot her ness. She wi shed t he booze woul d ki ck i n. She t hought about Phi l omena. Phi l omena and t hat f ashi onabl e scar f of her s. She l i ked her so damn much. Why coul dn' t she be mor e l i ke her ? Maybe i f t hey coul d j ust be r eal wi t h each ot her f or once. . . Why di d ever yone want t o be l i ke her ? Just t hi nki ng about i t made her want t o puke. As Dar by ent er ed t he ki t chen, she saw Gal e maki ng t r oubl e. " Wher e di d you get t hat shi r t , Gal e?" Gal e i gnor ed her . As Gal e ent er ed t he ki t chen, she saw Dar by maki ng t r oubl e. " why do you hi t my phone?" Gal e asked. Dar by chuckl ed. " because I am al ways on my phone dur i ng hi s cl ass. " " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he f oyer al l t o mysel f , " t hought Phi l omena. Phi l omena debat ed j us t l eavi ng t he house. The gr eat hal l was empt y. Fi nal l y, Vi vi anna t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. She st ar ed at t he f ami l y por t r ai t uncompr ehendi ngl y. Why she not i ced i n t he f i r st pl ace was beyond her . She t hought about Ki ah. She l i ked her so damn much. I t was al most t oo much t o deal wi t h.
Why di d ev er yone want t o be l i ke her ? Just t hi nki ng about i t made her want t o puk e. Ki ah ent er ed t he mast er bedr oom. " Wow, check out t hat t eak dr esser , " she sai d t o no one i n par t i cul ar . Why she not i ced i n t he f i r st pl ace was beyond her . She t hought about school , and how Phi l omena and Ki ah wer e such t ot al bi t ches. Why di d t hey l eave whenev er she ent er ed a r oom? How coul d t hat ev en be possi bl e? They al ways got t hey want ed. Al ways. The gr eat hal l was empt y. Fi nal l y, Di t a t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. Di t a t ook of f her shoes , got a r unni ng st ar t , a s l i d i n her socks down t he sl i ck har dwood f l oor s. " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he mast er bat hr oom al l t o mysel f , " t hought Ki ah. " Wow, check out t hat bl onde ony x t oi l et , " she sai d t o no one i n par t i cul ar . She was hopi ng i t woul d di st r act her , i f f or some br i ef moment , f r om her l i f e. Nobody was i n t he bat hr oom, so Di t a f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. She not i c ed t he f r amed phot o of a f i sh. Ki nda t acky. Thi ngs. The house was f ul l of t hi ngs. When she got ol d enough t o have a hous e, she' d own not hi ng. Vi vi anna br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he gr eat hal l . Vi vi anna t ook of f her shoes, got a r unni ng st ar t , a sl i d i n her socks down t he sl i ck har dwood f l oor s. Gal e br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he ki t chen. She st ar ed at t he oven uncompr ehendi ngl y. Why she not i ced i n t he f i r st pl ace was beyond her . Vi vi anna encount er ed Di t a i n t he gr eat hal l . Vi vi anna pl ayed ner vousl y wi t h her bel t i n a successf ul bi d t o avoi d t al ki ng t o Di t a. She t hought about school , and how Di t a and Di t a t hought t hey wer e so much bet t er t han ever yone el se. Why di d t hey l eave whenev er she ent er ed a r oom? Wer e t hey j eal ous of her somehow? Not l i kel y. Di d t hey secr et l y l i ke her af t er al l ? I t di dn' t mat t er anyway. They wal ked ar ound t he s chool l i ke t hey owned t he pl ace. But l i f e was pr obabl y har d f or t hem t oo, i n i t s own way. I t al ways i s. Af t er some t i me, Dar by f ound her sel f i n t he l i vi ng r oom. She dut i f ul l y avoi ded t he f l at scr een TV out of some pr i mal r espect f or i t s ot her ness. She was hopi ng i t woul d di st r act her , i f f or some br i ef moment , f r om her l i f e.
" Per f ect , I ' v e got t he mast er bedr oom al l t o mysel f , " t hought Ki ah. She not i ced t he ki ng si zed bed. Ki nda t acky. Thi ngs. The house was f ul l of t hi ngs. When she got ol d enough t o have a house, she' d own not hi ng. She t hought about school , and how Ki ah and Vi vi anna di dn' t hav e t o t r y har d t o be l i ked. How coul d t hat even be possi bl e? They wal ked ar ound t he school l i ke t hey owned t he pl ace. They never i nvi t ed her t o par t i es; i t was a f l uke she ended up at t hi s one. Phi l omena ent er ed t he f oyer . Phi l omena debat ed j ust l eavi ng t he house. Di t a l ooked ar ound t he gr eat hal l . " Wow, check out t hat f ami l y por t r ai t , " she sai d t o no one i n par t i cul ar . She was hopi ng i t woul d di st r act her , i f f or some br i ef moment , f r om her l i f e. The guest bedr oom was empt y. Fi nal l y, Vi vi anna t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. " Wow, check out t hat post er of a. . . Monet ?, " she sai d t o no one i n par t i cul ar . Why s he not i c ed i n t he f i r st pl ace was beyond her . Phi l omena f ound Di t a i n t he l i br ar y. Di t a l ooked di r ec t l y at Phi l omena. " I had t he wei r dest dr eam, " she sai d. " I was si t t i ng on my bed and I l ooked up and saw a cent aur . I t f i t t he descr i pt i on of " Chem" i n t he Nor ds of Zant h by Pei r s Ant hony. On her back r ode a women ( si c) wi t h gr een hai r . They t ol d me t o get on t he cent aur ' s back and go wi t h t hem. I di d and we l ef t . We ended up at a house i n S. F. They t ol d me t o go knock on t he door . I di d and t he per son who opened i t was my cur r ent cr ush. " Di t a f ound Phi l omena i n t he l i br ar y . " Dr eams, " Di t a sai d. " Tel l me about your dr eams. " Phi l omena al most sai d not hi ng, but t hought bet t er of i t . " I was havi ng a bi r t hday par t y and my f r i ends st ar t ed t o ar r i ve at my house. But bef or e I knew i t t her e wer e hundr eds of peopl e i n my house who I di dn' t know. I was t r yi ng t o get t hem t o l eave, but i t was so cr az y and t her e wer e j ust t oo many of t hem. My mom was goi ng i nsane because t he house was get t i ng t r as hed, but my f r i ends wer en' t hel pi ng, t hey wer e j ust par t yi ng away. " Vi vi anna and Ki ah r an i nt o each ot her i n t he gr eat hal l . Vi vi anna avoi ded Ki ah. " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he di ni ng r oom al l t o mysel f , " t hought Dar by. She st ar ed at t he si l ver war e uncompr ehendi ngl y. Par t of her , a l ar ger par t t han she car ed t o admi t , want ed t o s mash i t . " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he ki t chen al l t o mysel f , " t hought Gal e. Gal e checked t he f r i dge f or
snac ks. Nobody was i n t he l i br ar y, so Di t a f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. Di t a f l i pped t hr ough some books. Af t er some t i me, Vi vi anna f ound her sel f i n t he guest bedr oom. Vi vi anna guessed t hat t hi s was t he most bor i ng r oom i n t he house. She t hought about Vi vi anna. She want ed t hat sweat er . Not hi ng el se woul d do. Why coul dn' t she be mor e l i ke her ? Maybe i f t hey coul d j ust be r eal wi t h each ot her f or onc e. . . Nobody r eal l y knew how she f el t . Why di d ever yone want t o be l i ke her ? Gal e ent er ed t he ki t chen. Gal e r i f l ed t hr ough t he cabi net s f or al cohol . Af t er some t i me, Phi l omena f ound her sel f i n t he f oyer . She not i ced t he chandel i er . Ki nda t acky . She hear d a noi se f r om somewher e el se i n t he house. The gr eat hal l hel d t wo i t ems of i nt er est t o Di t a: t he t r i bal Af ghan r ug and Vi vi anna. " Wher e di d y ou get t hat sweat er , Vi vi anna?" Vi vi anna i gnor ed her . The di ni ng r oom was empt y. Fi nal l y, Dar by t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. The next t hi ng she saw was t he si l ver war e, whi ch l ef t her f eel i ng di squi et ed. Thi ngs. The house was f ul l of t hi ngs. When she got ol d enough t o have a house, she' d own not hi ng. Gal e ent er ed t he ki t chen. She dut i f ul l y avoi ded t he f r i dge out of some pr i mal r espect f or i t s ot her ness . Par t of her , a l ar ger par t t han she car ed t o admi t , want ed t o smash i t . " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he f oyer al l t o mysel f , " t hought Phi l omena. Phi l omena debat ed j us t l eavi ng t he house. Vi vi anna ent er ed t he gr eat hal l . Di t a was t her e, as i f wai t i ng. Vi vi anna pl ayed ner vousl y wi t h her sweat er i n a successf ul bi d t o avoi d t al ki ng t o Di t a. Af t er some t i me, Gal e f ound her sel f i n t he cl oset . The br oom r emi nded her of her mot her . Bar f . She hear d a noi se f r om somewher e el se i n t he house. Ki ah wal k ed i nt o t he gr eat hal l and saw Di t a. Gr eat . " what ' s t he best app t o get f r ee musi c
on?" asked Ki ah. " Vi ne, " sai d Di t a. Phi l omena l ooked ar ound t he f oyer . Phi l omena debat ed j ust l eavi ng t he house. Di t a ent er ed t he l i br ar y. Ki ah was t her e, as i f wai t i ng. Di t a eyed Ki ah' s f ashi onabl e pur se wi t h envy . She t hought about Ki ah. She envi ed her so damn much. She want ed t hat wat ch. Not hi ng el se woul d do. I t was al most t oo much t o deal wi t h. Nobody r eal l y knew how she f el t . Vi vi anna l ooked ar ound t he bat hr oom. The next t hi ng she saw was t he naut i cal t hemed shower cur t ai n, whi ch l ef t her f eel i ng di squi et ed. She was hopi ng i t woul d di st r act her , i f f or some br i ef moment , f r om her l i f e. The gar age was empt y. Fi nal l y, Dar by t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. The r i di ng l awnmower r emi nded her of her mot her . Bar f . She wi shed t he booze woul d ki ck i n. " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he ki t chen al l t o mysel f , " t hought Gal e. " Wow, check out t hat kni f e set , " she sai d t o no one i n par t i cul ar . She hear d a noi se f r om somewher e el se i n t he house. She t hought about school , and how Di t a and Dar by never t al ked t o her . Why di d t hey l eave whenever she ent er ed a r oom? They wer e queen bees and t hey knew i t . They never i nvi t ed her t o par t i es; i t was a f l uke she ended up at t hi s one. They al ways got t hey want ed. Al ways. Ki ah and Di t a r an i nt o each ot her i n t he l i br ar y. " What ' s your f avour i t e gr oup f i t ness cl ass t o at t end?" " omg sweet suspense. " Phi l omena br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he l i br ar y. Phi l omena f l i pped t hr ough some book s. Di t a f ound Vi vi anna i n t he gr eat hal l . " Dr eams, " Di t a sai d. " Tel l me about your dr eams. " Vi vi anna al most sai d not hi ng, but t hought bet t er of i t . " I was at my f r i end Ar l i e' s house and her mom suggest ed t hat we t ake t hei r dog f or a wal k. I know t hat Joey l i ved down t he st r eet and we mi ght see hi m. So I convi nced her t o go wi t h me. We wer e headi ng
out t he door wi t h her dog, when al l of a sudden t hese gr ownups ( maybe f r i ends of her par ent s) s howed up and Ar l i e' s par ent s and t hem deci ded t o come wi t h us. We wer e t r yi ng t o get away f r om t hem so we woul dn' t be seen t oget her . Fi nal l y, al l t he adul t s except one who had a l i t t l e t wo year ol d gi r l . When we got t o Joey' s house, we not i ced t hat we wer e wear i ng our ugl y My school sweat s and T shi r t s ( whi ch ar e f r om our school t hat we have t o wear ever y mor ni ng and on t r i ps s omet i mes when Ar l i e and I went on a school " mi dyear r et r eat " and we had t o wear our sc hool cl ot hes i t was r eal l y embar r assi ng) . Thi s i s especi al l y embar r assi ng but we r eal i zed i t di dn' t mat t er bec ause Joey wasn' t t her e. Al so, I f or got ear l i er , t her e wer e t wo f i ne guys wal ki ng ar ound who we saw and br i ef l y t al ked t o. I don' t r emember what we sai d. " Dar by br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he gar age. She not i ced t he r i di ng l awnmower . Ki nda t acky. Thi ngs. The house was f ul l of t hi ngs. When she got ol d enough t o hav e a house, she' d own not hi ng. " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he f oyer al l t o mysel f , " t hought Ki ah. Ki ah debat ed j ust l eavi ng t he house. She t hought about school , and how Di t a and Ki ah never t al ked t o her . How coul d t hat even be possi bl e? They never i nvi t ed her t o par t i es; i t was a f l uke she ended up at t hi s one. Af t er some t i me, Gal e f ound her sel f i n t he ki t chen. She dut i f ul l y avoi ded t he kni f e s et out of some pr i mal r espect f or i t s ot her ness. She was hopi ng i t woul d di st r act her , i f f or some br i ef moment , f r om her l i f e. Phi l omena ent er ed t he gr eat hal l . Vi vi anna was t her e, as i f wai t i ng. Phi l omena st ar ed at Vi vi anna suspi ci ousl y. She t hought about Vi vi anna. She envi ed her so damn much. She want ed t hat bel t . Not hi ng el se woul d do. I t was al most t oo much t o deal wi t h. Why coul dn' t she be mor e l i ke her ? Maybe i f t hey coul d j ust be r eal wi t h each ot her f or once. . . Why di d ever yone want t o be l i ke her ? Af t er some t i me, Di t a f ound her sel f i n t he l i br ar y. Di t a f l i pped t hr ough some books. Vi vi anna f ound Phi l omena i n t he gr eat hal l . Vi vi anna pl ayed ner vousl y wi t h her bel t i n a successf ul bi d t o avoi d t al ki ng t o Phi l omena.
Nobody was i n t he di ni ng r oom, so Gal e f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. The next t hi ng she saw was t he di ni ng r oom t abl e, whi ch l ef t her f eel i ng di squi et ed. She wi s hed t he booze woul d ki ck i n. Nobody was i n t he f oyer , so Di t a f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. She st ar ed at t he chandel i er uncompr ehendi ngl y . Par t of her , a l ar ger par t t han she car ed t o admi t , want ed t o smash i t . The gar age was empt y. Fi nal l y, Dar by t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. The next t hi ng she saw was t he r i di ng l awnmower , whi ch l ef t her f eel i ng di squi et ed. She hear d a noi se f r om somewher e el se i n t he house. She t hought about school , and how Gal e and Di t a got bet t er gr ades t han her . Wer e t hey j eal ous of her somehow? Not l i kel y. How coul d t hat even be possi bl e? Di d t hey secr et l y l i ke her af t er al l ? I t di dn' t mat t er anyway. They wer e al ways l aughi ng wi t h t hei r per f ect f r i ends. They never i nvi t ed her t o par t i es; i t was a f l uke she ended up at t hi s one. They al ways got t hey want ed. Al ways. Ki ah l ooked ar ound t he f r ont yar d. Ki ah st ar t ed t o cl i mb t he t r ee, t hen t hought bet t er of i t . Di t a br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n s i ght s of t he l i vi ng r oom. Di t a bounced on t he sof a, hopi ng t o r ecapt ur e her chi l dhood i nnocence. Af t er some t i me, Vi vi anna f ound her sel f i n t he l i br ar y. The mahogany wor k desk caught her eye. She t hought i t was t he ugl i es t t hi ng she' d ever seen. She wi shed t he booze woul d ki ck i n. The ki t chen was empt y. Fi nal l y, Gal e t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. Gal e r i f l ed t hr ough t he cabi net s f or al cohol . Dar by ent er ed t he gar age. Ki ah was t her e, as i f wai t i ng. " why woul d you t r y t o t al k t o MY best f r i end about me?" Dar by demanded. " because I ' m goi ng t o my f r i end Jenni f er house t omor r ow and we be get t i ng hi gh l ol xD, " sai d Ki ah. Ki ah and Dar by r an i nt o each ot her i n t he gar age. Ki ah seemed angr y. " what i s your
f avour i t e Chr i st mas r ec or d?" she asked. " Thi s Chr i st mas ( I ' l l Bur n I t To The Gr ound) . " Af t er some t i me, Phi l omena f ound her sel f i n t he gr eat hal l . The f ami l y por t r ai t r emi nded her of her mot her . Bar f . She wi shed t he booze woul d ki ck i n. Di t a l ooked ar ound t he l i vi ng r oom. She st ar ed at t he cof f ee t abl e uncompr ehendi ngl y. She hear d a noi se f r om somewher e el se i n t he house. Vi vi anna l ooked ar ound t he f oyer . " Wow, check out t hat si de t abl e, " she sai d t o no one i n par t i cul ar . She hear d a noi se f r om somewher e el se i n t he house. Af t er some t i me, Dar by f ound her sel f i n t he gar age. Dar by t r i ed t o j i mmy t he l ock on t he car and ended up set t i ng of f t he al ar m. Whoops. Af t er some t i me, Phi l omena f ound her sel f i n t he bat hr oom. Phi l omena l ooked ar ound f or t ampons, f i ndi ng none. Af t er some t i me, Vi vi anna f ound her sel f i n t he l i br ar y. The mahogany wor k desk caught her eye. She t hought i t was t he ugl i es t t hi ng she' d ever seen. She was hopi ng i t woul d di st r act her , i f f or some br i ef moment , f r om her l i f e. The l i vi ng r oom was empt y. Fi nal l y, Gal e t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. The f l at scr een TV caught her eye. She t hought i t was t he ugl i est t hi ng she' d ever seen. Thi ngs. The house was f ul l of t hi ngs . When she got ol d enough t o have a house, she' d own not hi ng. Di t a ent er ed t he l i vi ng r oom t o f i nd Gal e st andi ng t her e. Di t a pl ayed ner vousl y wi t h her sweat er i n a successf ul bi d t o avoi d t al ki ng t o Gal e. Nobody was i n t he back yar d, so Dar by f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. She dut i f ul l y avoi ded t he gas gr i l l out of some pr i mal r espect f or i t s ot her ness. Why she not i ced i n t he f i r st pl ace was beyond her . The ki t chen was empt y. Fi nal l y, Ki ah t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. She not i ced t he
kni f e set . Ki nda t acky. Why she not i ced i n t he f i r st pl ace was beyond her . As Vi vi anna ent er ed t he gr eat hal l , she saw Phi l omena maki ng t r oubl e. " What ' s YOuR f avor i t e t hi ng t o DO?" Phi l omena squi r med. " usual l y or gani zi ng pi ct ur es. " " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he bat hr oom al l t o mysel f , " t hought Phi l omena. Phi l omena l ooked ar ound f or t ampons, f i ndi ng none. Ki ah ent er ed t he ki t chen. Dar by was t her e, as i f wai t i ng. Ki ah pl ayed ner vousl y wi t h her pur se i n a successf ul bi d t o avoi d t al ki ng t o Dar by. Gal e br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he f oyer . " Wow, check out t hat chandel i er , " she sai d t o no one i n par t i c ul ar . She hear d a noi se f r om somewher e el se i n t he house. Di t a l ooked ar ound t he f r ont yar d. Di t a r an her f i nger s t hr ough t he wel l mani cur ed gr ass, dr eami ng of bet t er days. Dar by br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he br eakf ast nook. Dar by dr ank some j ui ce, f uck i t , r i ght ? Whose house even was t hi s? She t hought about Ki ah. Ki ah and t hat f ashi onabl e pur se of her s. She l ov ed her so damn much. She want ed t hat pur se. Not hi ng el se woul d do. Nobody r eal l y knew how she f el t . Why di d she come t o t hi s st upi d house par t y i n t he f i r st pl ace? " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he cl oset al l t o mysel f , " t hought Ki ah. Ki ah sur r ept i ci ousl y r ear r anged t he suppl i es. Gal e br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he l i vi ng r oom. Gal e bounced on t he sof a, hopi ng t o r ecapt ur e her chi l dhood i nnocence. Nobody was i n t he mast er bedr oom, so Phi l omena f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. " Wow, check out t hat ki ng s i zed bed, " she sai d t o no one i n par t i cul ar . Why she not i c ed i n t he f i r st pl ace was beyond her . The ki t chen was empt y. Fi nal l y, Ki ah t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. Ki ah checked
t he f r i dge f or snacks. Di t a l ooked ar ound t he gar age. Di t a t r i ed t o j i mmy t he l ock on t he car and ended up set t i ng of f t he al ar m. Whoops. Vi vi anna br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he guest bedr oom. She not i ced t he post er of a. . . Monet ?. Ki nda t acky. Why she not i ced i n t he f i r st pl ace was beyond her . The br eak f ast nook was empt y. Fi nal l y, Dar by t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk . Dar by dr ank some j ui ce, f uck i t , r i ght ? Whose house even was t hi s? Af t er some t i me, Ki ah f ound her sel f i n t he cl oset . Ki ah l ooked f or some paper t owel s. Af t er some t i me, Gal e f ound her sel f i n t he l i vi ng r oom. Gal e bounced on t he sof a, hopi ng t o r ecapt ur e her chi l dhood i nnocence. Nobody was i n t he gar age, so Di t a f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. Di t a t r i ed t o j i mmy t he l ock on t he c ar and ended up set t i ng of f t he al ar m. Whoops. Vi vi anna l ooked ar ound t he guest bedr oom. Vi vi anna i magi ned what ki nd of peopl e had st ayed i n t he bed. How many peopl e had had sex i n i t ? Dar by br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he br eakf ast nook. Dar by dr ank some j ui ce, f uck i t , r i ght ? Whose house even was t hi s? The ki t chen was empt y. Fi nal l y, Ki ah t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. Ki ah r i f l ed t hr ough t he cabi net s f or al cohol . The l i vi ng r oom was empt y. Fi nal l y, Gal e t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. Gal e t ur ned on t he TV f or a whi l e. She t hought about Di t a. Di t a and t hat i ncr edi bl e phone of her s. Maybe i f t hey coul d j ust be r eal wi t h each ot her f or once. . . Why di d ever yone want t o be l i ke her ? Just t hi nki ng about i t made her want t o puke. Why di d she come t o t hi s st upi d house par t y i n t he f i r st pl ace? Af t er some t i me, Vi vi anna f ound her sel f i n t he gr eat hal l . Vi vi anna t ook of f her shoes, got a
r unni ng st ar t , a sl i d i n her socks down t he sl i ck har dwood f l oor s. Nobody was i n t he ki t c hen, so Dar by f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. She dut i f ul l y avoi ded t he oven out of some pr i mal r espect f or i t s ot her ness. Par t of her , a l ar ger par t t han she car ed t o admi t , want ed t o smash i t . Gal e l ook ed ar ound t he l i vi ng r oom. Gal e t ur ned on t he TV f or a whi l e. Phi l omena br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he mast er bedr oom. The ki ng si zed bed caught her eye. She t hought i t was t he ugl i est t hi ng she' d ever seen. She di dn' t gi ve i t a second t hought . She t hought about school , and how Dar by and Phi l omena had mor e money t han she di d. Why di d t hey l eave whenever she ent er ed a r oom? Nobody was i n t he gar age, so Di t a f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. The r i di ng l awnmower caught her eye. She t hought i t was t he ugl i est t hi ng she' d ever seen. She hear d a noi se f r om somewher e el se i n t he house. The bat hr oom was empt y. Fi nal l y, Vi vi anna t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. The t oi l et r emi nded her of her mot her . Bar f . Why she not i ced i n t he f i r st pl ace was beyond her . Dar by ent er ed t he ki t chen. The oven r emi nded her of her mot her . Bar f . She wi shed t he booze woul d ki ck i n. She t hought about Dar by. I t was al most t oo much t o deal wi t h. Why coul dn' t s he be mor e l i ke her ? Why di d ever yone want t o be l i ke her ? Just t hi nki ng about i t made her want t o puke. Af t er some t i me, Gal e f ound her sel f i n t he f r ont yar d. Gal e r an her f i nger s t hr ough t he wel l mani c ur ed gr ass, dr eami ng of bet t er days. Phi l omena ent er ed t he mast er bedr oom. " Wow, check out t hat t eak dr esser , " she s ai d t o no one i n par t i cul ar . Why she not i ced i n t he f i r st pl ace was beyond her . Vi vi anna br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he bat hr oom. Vi vi anna j i ggl ed t he t oi l et handl e. She t hought about school , and how Dar by and Ki ah got bet t er gr ades t han her . They wer e queen bees and t hey knew i t . They never i nvi t ed her t o par t i es; i t was a f l uke she
ended up at t hi s one. The ki t chen was empt y. Fi nal l y, Ki ah t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. Ki ah checked t he f r i dge f or snacks. Gal e ent er ed t he gar age. Gal e consi der ed get t i ng on t hat l awnmower and r i di ng i t out of t hi s pl ace. As Dar by ent er ed t he back yar d, she saw Di t a maki ng t r oubl e. " Why do you keep subt weet i ng me?" asked Dar by. " because I ' m not sur e t he subt weet i s t ome, " sai d Di t a. Di t a ent er ed t he back y ar d t o f i nd Dar by st andi ng t her e. " Why woul d you t el l t he whol e wor l d our busi ness?" asked Di t a. Dar by yel l ed. " because I went dur i ng busi ness hour s. " Phi l omena ent er ed t he mast er bat hr oom. She dut i f ul l y avoi ded t he bl onde onyx f l oor i ng out of some pr i mal r espect f or i t s ot her ness. She wi shed t he booze woul d ki ck i n. " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he bat hr oom al l t o mysel f , " t hought Vi vi anna. Vi vi anna l ooked ar ound f or t ampons, f i ndi ng none. Ki ah br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he cl oset . Ki ah sur r ept i ci ousl y r ear r anged t he suppl i es. She t hought about school , and how Di t a and Gal e t hought t hey wer e so much bet t er t han ever yone el se. How coul d t hat even be possi bl e? They wer e al ways l aughi ng wi t h t hei r per f ect f r i ends. They wer e queen bees and t hey knew i t . They al ways got t hey want ed. Al ways. Di d t hey suspect s he t hought about t hem s o much? The f r ont y ar d was empt y. Fi nal l y, Gal e t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. The t r ee caught her eye. She t hought i t was t he ugl i est t hi ng she' d ever seen. She wi shed t he booze woul d ki ck i n. Vi vi anna ent er ed t he bat hr oom. " Wow, check out t hat naut i cal t hemed shower cur t ai n, " she sai d t o no one i n par t i c ul ar . She was hopi ng i t woul d di st r act her , i f f or some br i ef moment ,
f r om her l i f e. Nobody was i n t he back yar d, so Dar by f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. She st ar ed at t he gas gr i l l uncompr ehendi ngl y. She wi shed t he booze woul d ki ck i n. The l i vi ng r oom was empt y. Fi nal l y, Gal e t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. Gal e bounced on t he sof a, hopi ng t o r ec apt ur e her chi l dhood i nnocence. She t hought about Phi l omena. She hat ed her so damn much. She want ed t hat scar f . Not hi ng el se woul d do. Maybe i f t hey coul d j ust be r eal wi t h each ot her f or once. . . Nobody r eal l y knew how she f el t . Why di d ev er yone want t o be l i ke her ? Just t hi nki ng about i t made her want t o puk e. Di t a ent er ed t he ki t chen t o f i nd Ki ah st andi ng t her e. Di t a pl ayed ner vousl y wi t h her phone i n a success f ul bi d t o avoi d t al ki ng t o Ki ah. " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he bat hr oom al l t o mysel f , " t hought Vi vi anna. " Wow, check out t hat naut i cal t hemed shower cur t ai n, " she sai d t o no one i n par t i cul ar . Par t of her , a l ar ger par t t han she car ed t o admi t , want ed t o smash i t . She t hought about school , and how Dar by and Ki ah had mor e money t han she di d. Why di d t hey l eave whenever she ent er ed a r oom? How coul d t hat even be possi bl e? They wer e queen bees and t hey knew i t . They al ways got t hey want ed. Al way s. Di d t hey suspect she t hought about t hem so much? " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he gar age al l t o mysel f , " t hought Dar by. Dar by consi der ed get t i ng on t hat l awnmower and r i di ng i t out of t hi s pl ace. Nobody was i n t he f oyer , so Gal e f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. She dut i f ul l y avoi ded t he chandel i er out of some pr i mal r espect f or i t s ot her ness. Par t of her , a l ar ger par t t han s he car ed t o admi t , want ed t o smash i t . Ki ah wal k ed i nt o t he ki t chen and s aw Di t a. Gr eat . " what ' s t he best t hi ng t o do i s al ways t he har dest t hi ng t o do?" " Bei ng happy. " " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he bat hr oom al l t o mysel f , " t hought Vi vi anna. Vi vi anna j i ggl ed t he t oi l et
handl e. Af t er some t i me, Gal e f ound her sel f i n t he f oyer . Gal e debat ed j ust l eavi ng t he house. As Di t a ent er ed t he cl oset , she saw Ki ah maki ng t r oubl e. " what ' s t he best l i ke we don' t al l have pr ef er ences?" Di t a i nqui r ed. " OMG RI N I S , " sai d Ki ah. The ki t chen hel d t wo i t ems of i nt er est t o Di t a: t he f r i dge and Ki ah. Di t a avoi ded Ki ah. She t hought about school , and how Ki ah and Di t a never t al ked t o her . Di d t hey secr et l y l i ke her af t er al l ? I t di dn' t mat t er anyway. They wer e al ways l aughi ng wi t h t hei r per f ect f r i ends. They wer e queen bees and t hey knew i t . They never i nvi t ed her t o par t i es; i t was a f l uke she ended up at t hi s one. Di d t hey suspect she t hought about t hem so much? The gr eat hal l was empt y. Fi nal l y, Vi vi anna t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. Vi vi anna t ook of f her shoes, got a r unni ng s t ar t , a sl i d i n her socks down t he sl i ck har dwood f l oor s. She t hought about Dar by. Dar by and t hat ost ent at i ous shi r t of her s. Why coul dn' t she be mor e l i ke her ? Nobody r eal l y knew how she f el t . Why di d she come t o t hi s st upi d house par t y i n t he f i r st pl ace? " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he f r ont yar d al l t o mysel f , " t hought Dar by. She not i ced t he l awn. Ki nda t acky . Par t of her , a l ar ger par t t han she car ed t o admi t , want ed t o smash i t . Ki ah ent er ed t he ki t chen. Di t a was t her e, as i f wai t i ng. Ki ah l ooked di si nt er est ed. " What ' s t he best wi ne f or pai r i ng wi t h ci nnamon oat meal ?" she i nqui r ed. Di t a squi r med. " Fr ee wi ne. " Di t a br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n s i ght s of t he ki t chen. The oven r emi nded her of her mot her . Bar f . Par t of her , a l ar ger par t t han she car ed t o admi t , want ed t o smash i t . The l i br ar y was empt y. Fi nal l y, Vi vi anna t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. Vi vi anna t r i ed and f ai l ed t o open t he l ock on t he desk. She t hought about school , and how Gal e and Phi l omena di dn' t have t o t r y har d t o be l i ked. Why di d t hey l eave whenever she ent er ed a
r oom? Wer e t hey j eal ous of her somehow? Not l i kel y. They wer e al ways l aughi ng wi t h t hei r per f ect f r i ends. They wer e queen bees and t hey knew i t . They never i nvi t ed her t o par t i es; i t was a f l uk e she ended up at t hi s one. But l i f e was pr obabl y har d f or t hem t oo, i n i t s own way. I t al ways i s. Af t er some t i me, Ki ah f ound her sel f i n t he di ni ng r oom. She st ar ed at t he si l ver war e uncompr ehendi ngl y. Par t of her , a l ar ger par t t han she car ed t o admi t , want ed t o s mash i t . Af t er some t i me, Vi vi anna f ound her sel f i n t he l i br ar y. She st ar ed at t he bookshel f uncompr ehendi ngl y. Par t of her , a l ar ger par t t han she car ed t o admi t , want ed t o s mash i t . She t hought about school , and how Di t a and Vi vi anna never t al ked t o her . Wer e t hey j eal ous of her somehow? Not l i kel y. How coul d t hat even be possi bl e? They wer e al ways l aughi ng wi t h t hei r per f ect f r i ends. Di d t hey suspect she t hought about t hem so much? Dar by ent er ed t he f oyer . Gal e was t her e, as i f wai t i ng. Dar by avoi ded Gal e. Gal e and Dar by r an i nt o each ot her i n t he f oyer . Gal e seemed angr y. " what i s your f avour i t e Chr i st mas r ecor d?" she i nqui r ed. " Sant a Baby, " sai d Dar by. Di t a br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n s i ght s of t he cl oset . " Wow, check out t hat mop, " she sai d t o no one i n par t i cul ar . She wi shed t he booze woul d ki ck i n. She t hought about Dar by. Dar by and t hat emer al d coat of her s. She l i ked her so damn much. She want ed t hat coat . Not hi ng el se woul d do. Maybe i f t hey coul d j ust be r eal wi t h each ot her f or once. . . Why di d ever yone want t o be l i ke her ? Jus t t hi nki ng about i t made her want t o puke. Af t er some t i me, Ki ah f ound her sel f i n t he l i vi ng r oom. She st ar ed at t he cof f ee t abl e uncompr ehendi ngl y. Par t of her , a l ar ger par t t han she car ed t o admi t , want ed t o s mash i t . Phi l omena f ound Vi vi anna i n t he gr eat hal l . " what ' s your f avor i t e t ype of candy?" demanded Phi l omena. " I dc i f i t makes me wei r d but t hi s, " sai d Vi vi anna.
Gal e f ound Dar by i n t he f oyer . " What i s t he best par ki ng f or under $20; easy acces s t o 35?" " Pul l t hr ough par ki ng. " Nobody was i n t he bat hr oom, so Phi l omena f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. The next t hi ng she saw was t he f r amed phot o of a f i sh, whi ch l ef t her f eel i ng di squi et ed. She was hopi ng i t woul d di s t r act her , i f f or some br i ef moment , f r om her l i f e. She t hought about Di t a. Di t a and t hat i ncr edi bl e phone of her s. She l i ked her so damn much. Maybe i f t hey coul d j ust be r eal wi t h each ot her f or once. . . Nobody r eal l y knew how she f el t . Just t hi nki ng about i t made her want t o puke. Why di d she come t o t hi s st upi d house par t y i n t he f i r st pl ace? Di t a l ooked ar ound t he ki t chen. Di t a r i f l ed t hr ough t he cabi net s f or al cohol . Af t er some t i me, Vi vi anna f ound her sel f i n t he gr eat hal l . Vi vi anna t ook of f her shoes, got a r unni ng st ar t , a sl i d i n her socks down t he sl i ck har dwood f l oor s. She t hought about Gal e. Maybe i f t hey coul d j ust be r eal wi t h each ot her f or once. . . Why di d ever yone want t o be l i ke her ? Just t hi nki ng about i t made her want t o puke. Dar by br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he f oyer . Dar by debat ed j ust l eavi ng t he house. Ki ah ent er ed t he l i vi ng r oom t o f i nd Gal e st andi ng t her e. Ki ah st ar ed at Gal e suspi c i ousl y. Gal e ent er ed t he l i vi ng r oom t o f i nd Ki ah st andi ng t her e. " what ' s t he best t hi ng t o do i s al ways t he har dest t hi ng t o do?" Gal e asked. " AND YET I T I S . " Nobody was i n t he bat hr oom, so Vi vi anna f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. Vi vi anna r el i eved her sel f . Dar by encount er ed Gal e i n t he f oy er . Dar by eyed Gal e' s t eal shi r t wi t h envy. The l i vi ng r oom was empt y. Fi nal l y, Ki ah t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. Ki ah
bounced on t he sof a, hopi ng t o r ec apt ur e her chi l dhood i nnocence. She t hought about school , and how Di t a and Phi l omena had mor e money t han she di d. Wer e t hey j eal ous of her somehow? Not l i kel y. They wer e al ways l aughi ng wi t h t hei r per f ect f r i ends. They wer e queen bees and t hey k new i t . Phi l omena br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he bat hr oom. Phi l omena l ooked ar ound f or t ampons, f i ndi ng none. Af t er some t i me, Vi vi anna f ound her sel f i n t he gr eat hal l . The next t hi ng she saw was t he t r i bal Af ghan r ug, whi ch l ef t her f eel i ng di squi et ed. Par t of her , a l ar ger par t t han she car ed t o admi t , want ed t o smash i t . She t hought about school , and how Gal e and Ki ah got bet t er gr ades t han her . Wer e t hey j eal ous of her somehow? Not l i kel y. Di d t hey secr et l y l i k e her af t er al l ? I t di dn' t mat t er anyway. They wer e al ways l aughi ng wi t h t hei r per f ect f r i ends. They wal ked ar ound t he school l i ke t hey owned t he pl ace. They al ways got t hey want ed. Al ways. Di d t hey s uspect she t hought about t hem so much? The f oyer hel d t wo i t ems of i nt er est t o Dar by: t he si de t abl e and Gal e. Dar by avoi ded Gal e. Gal e wal k ed i nt o t he f oyer and saw Ki ah. Gr eat . Gal e avoi ded Ki ah. Nobody was i n t he gr eat hal l , so Phi l omena f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. Phi l omena t ook of f her shoes, got a r unni ng st ar t , a sl i d i n her socks down t he sl i ck har dwood f l oor s. Af t er some t i me, Vi vi anna f ound her sel f i n t he l i br ar y. Vi vi anna t r i ed and f ai l ed t o open t he l ock on t he desk. Dar by ent er ed t he l i vi ng r oom. Dar by t ur ned on t he TV f or a whi l e. Gal e encount er ed Ki ah i n t he f oyer . Ki ah st i f f ened and began t o r ambl e, not not i ci ng Gal e, as i f i n a f ugue st at e. " We wer e at t he mi ddl e school and my bal l et cl ass had or der ed pi zza. Cour t l ynd was aski ng ev er yone i f t hey had any c r ust t o spar e. Some of us sat down out si de whi l e ot her s went t o cl assr oom 2 and wat ched a hyped up vi deo on soccer . Angel a kept t al ki ng about how i t was changed f or t he Ol ympi cs. She sai d she gave her gol d medal t o anot her
t eammat e. Then peopl e st ar t ed eat i ng St eamer s pi zza. " As Ki ah ent er ed t he f oy er , she saw Gal e maki ng t r oubl e. " What i s your f avour i t e gr oup?" Gal e r ecoi l ed. " Zeds Dead. " Af t er some t i me, Vi vi anna f ound her sel f i n t he f oyer . She dut i f ul l y avoi ded t he chandel i er out of some pr i mal r espect f or i t s ot her ness. She hear d a noi se f r om somewher e el se i n t he house. Dar by l ook ed ar ound t he l i vi ng r oom. Dar by bounced on t he sof a, hopi ng t o r ecapt ur e her chi l dhood i nnocence. She t hought about Phi l omena. She l i ked her so damn much. I t was al most t oo much t o deal wi t h. Why coul dn' t she be mor e l i ke her ? Maybe i f t hey coul d j ust be r eal wi t h each ot her f or once. . . Why di d ever yone want t o be l i ke her ? Ki ah ent er ed t he f r ont y ar d. Ki ah s t ar t ed t o cl i mb t he t r ee, t hen t hought bet t er of i t . Gal e ent er ed t he l i br ar y . Gal e f l i pped t hr ough some books. Gal e f ound Vi vi anna i n t he l i br ar y. Gal e pl ayed ner vousl y wi t h her shi r t i n a succes sf ul bi d t o avoi d t al k i ng t o Vi vi anna. Ki ah ent er ed t he f r ont y ar d t o f i nd Dar by st andi ng t her e. Ki ah appear ed concer ned. " What ' s t he best way t o expr ess your f eel i ngs?" she asked. " Somet i mes si l ence. " Vi vi anna br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he l i br ar y. She st ar ed at t he mahogany wor k desk uncompr ehendi ngl y. Why she not i ced i n t he f i r st pl ace was beyond her . She t hought about Vi vi anna. She envi ed her so damn much. Nobody r eal l y knew how she f el t . Why di d ev er yone want t o be l i ke her ? Dar by ent er ed t he f oyer t o f i nd Gal e st andi ng t her e. Dar by st ar ed at Gal e suspi ci ousl y. Di t a ent er ed t he ki t chen. She st ar ed at t he f r i dge uncompr ehendi ngl y. Why she not i ced i n t he f i r st pl ace was beyond her .
Dar by l ook ed ar ound t he f r ont yar d. Dar by r an her f i nger s t hr ough t he wel l mani cur ed gr ass, dr eami ng of bet t er days. She t hought about school , and how Dar by and Gal e wer e such t ot al bi t ches. How coul d t hat even be possi bl e? Di d t hey secr et l y l i ke her af t er al l ? I t di dn' t mat t er anyway. They wer e al ways l aughi ng wi t h t hei r per f ect f r i ends. They wal ked ar ound t he school l i ke t hey owned t he pl ace. They never i nvi t ed her t o par t i es; i t was a f l uke she ended up at t hi s one. They al ways got t hey want ed. Al ways. But l i f e was pr obabl y har d f or t hem t oo, i n i t s own way. I t al ways i s. Gal e l ook ed ar ound t he l i vi ng r oom. Gal e t ur ned on t he TV f or a whi l e. " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he ki t chen al l t o mysel f , " t hought Di t a. She not i ced t he oven. Ki nda t acky. She hear d a noi se f r om somewher e el se i n t he house. Vi vi anna br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he guest bedr oom. Vi vi anna guessed t hat t hi s was t he most bor i ng r oom i n t he house. The gar age was empt y. Fi nal l y, Dar by t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. The r i di ng l awnmower caught her eye. She t hought i t was t he ugl i est t hi ng she' d ever seen. She was hopi ng i t woul d di st r act her , i f f or s ome br i ef moment , f r om her l i f e. Gal e l ook ed ar ound t he f r ont yar d. She not i ced t he l awn. Ki nda t acky. She di dn' t gi v e i t a second t hought . Di t a br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n s i ght s of t he ki t chen. Di t a r i f l ed t hr ough t he cabi net s f or al cohol . Af t er some t i me, Dar by f ound her sel f i n t he gar age. Dar by consi der ed get t i ng on t hat l awnmower and r i di ng i t out of t hi s pl ace. The l i vi ng r oom was empt y. Fi nal l y, Gal e t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. Gal e bounced on t he sof a, hopi ng t o r ec apt ur e her chi l dhood i nnocence. She t hought about school , and how Phi l omena and Di t a had mor e money t han she di d. Wer e t hey j eal ous of her somehow? Not l i kel y. They wer e al ways l aughi ng wi t h t hei r per f ect f r i ends. They never i nvi t ed her t o par t i es; i t was a f l uke she ended up at t hi s one.
Af t er some t i me, Phi l omena f ound her sel f i n t he mast er bedr oom. She st ar ed at t he ki ng si zed bed uncompr ehendi ngl y . Par t of her , a l ar ger par t t han she car ed t o admi t , want ed t o smash i t . Af t er some t i me, Di t a f ound her sel f i n t he cl oset . The mop r emi nded her of her mot her . Bar f . She di dn' t gi ve i t a second t hought . The gr eat hal l was empt y. Fi nal l y, Vi vi anna t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. Vi vi anna st ar ed down t he hal l , whi ch seemed l onger t han i t had any r i ght t o be. Af t er some t i me, Dar by f ound her sel f i n t he f r ont yar d. Dar by st ar t ed t o cl i mb t he t r ee, t hen t hought bet t er of i t . Nobody was i n t he l i vi ng r oom, so Gal e f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. Gal e bounced on t he sof a, hopi ng t o r ec apt ur e her chi l dhood i nnocence. Phi l omena ent er ed t he gr eat hal l . Phi l omena st ar ed down t he hal l , whi ch seemed l onger t han i t had any r i ght t o be. She t hought about school , and how Dar by and Di t a wer e such t ot al bi t ches. Di d t hey s ecr et l y l i ke her af t er al l ? I t di dn' t mat t er anyway. They wer e al ways l aughi ng wi t h t hei r per f ect f r i ends. They wer e queen bees and t hey knew i t . But l i f e was pr obabl y har d f or t hem t oo, i n i t s own way. I t al ways i s. Vi vi anna br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he l i br ar y. The next t hi ng she saw was t he mahogany wor k desk, whi ch l ef t her f eel i ng di squi et ed. She was hopi ng i t woul d di st r act her , i f f or some br i ef moment , f r om her l i f e. Nobody was i n t he f oyer , so Dar by f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. Dar by debat ed j ust l eavi ng t he house. Gal e f ound Ki ah i n t he di ni ng r oom. " what i s t he best deci si on you' l l ever make?" Ki ah chuc k l ed. " Somet i mes maki ng t he har dest deci si on. " Phi l omena l ooked ar ound t he gr eat hal l . Phi l omena st ar ed down t he hal l , whi ch seemed l onger t han i t had any r i ght t o be. She t hought about school , and how Vi vi anna and
Phi l omena got bet t er gr ades t han her . Why di d t hey l eave whenever she ent er ed a r oom? Wer e t hey j eal ous of her somehow? Not l i kel y. Di d t hey secr et l y l i ke her af t er al l ? I t di dn' t mat t er anyway. They wer e al ways l aughi ng wi t h t hei r per f ect f r i ends. But l i f e was pr obabl y har d f or t hem t oo, i n i t s own way. I t al ways i s. Di d t hey suspect she t hought about t hem so much? Di t a br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n s i ght s of t he cl oset . Di t a sur r ept i ci ousl y r ear r anged t he suppl i es. She t hought about Phi l omena. Phi l omena and t hat cr i mson phone of her s. She want ed t hat scar f . Not hi ng el se woul d do. I t was al most t oo much t o deal wi t h. Why di d ever yone want t o be l i ke her ? Af t er some t i me, Ki ah f ound her sel f i n t he back yar d. She dut i f ul l y avoi ded t he gas gr i l l out of some pr i mal r espect f or i t s ot her ness. She wi shed t he booze woul d ki ck i n. The l i vi ng r oom was empt y. Fi nal l y, Gal e t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. Gal e bounced on t he sof a, hopi ng t o r ec apt ur e her chi l dhood i nnocence. Vi vi anna wal ked i nt o t he f oyer and saw Dar by. Gr eat . " what ' s your f avour i t e par t of your body?" " goi ng t o bed. " Af t er some t i me, Phi l omena f ound her sel f i n t he gr eat hal l . Phi l omena t ook of f her s hoes, got a r unni ng st ar t , a sl i d i n her socks down t he sl i ck har dwood f l oor s. She t hought about school , and how Dar by and Gal e had mor e money t han she di d. Why di d t hey l eav e whenever she ent er ed a r oom? How coul d t hat even be possi bl e? They never i nvi t ed her t o par t i es; i t was a f l uke she ended up at t hi s one. Di d t hey suspect she t hought about t hem so much? Di t a f ound Ki ah i n t he k i t chen. Ki ah was cr yi ng. Di t a act ed on i nst i nct . " Tel l me al l about i t . " she sai d. Ki ah obl i ged i n an unbecomi ng out pour i ng. " I had a younger si st er who r an away. I had t o go l ook at shi r t s she had wor n t o guess what she was wear i ng, and f i nal l y concl uded t hat she was at a mi ddl e school I used t o at t end. " Vi vi anna ent er ed t he f oyer . She not i ced t he si de t abl e. Ki nda t acky. She di dn' t gi ve i t a second t hought . She t hought about school , and how Dar by and Phi l omena never t al ked t o
her . Wer e t hey j eal ous of her somehow? Not l i kel y. Di d t hey secr et l y l i ke her af t er al l ? I t di dn' t mat t er anyway. The f r ont y ar d hel d t wo i t ems of i nt er est t o Dar by: t he l awn and Gal e. " Wher e di d you get t hat ski r t , Gal e?" Gal e i gnor ed her . Gal e ent er ed t he f r ont yar d t o f i nd Dar by st andi ng t her e. Gal e st ar ed at Dar by suspi ci ousl y. Ki ah f ound Di t a i n t he k i t chen. " what ' s your f avour i t e sex posi t i on?" asked Ki ah. " Home Depot . " Phi l omena br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he gr eat hal l . Phi l omena t ook of f her shoes, got a r unni ng st ar t , a sl i d i n her socks down t he sl i ck har dwood f l oor s. Di t a br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n s i ght s of t he cl oset . The next t hi ng she saw was t he br oom, whi ch l ef t her f eel i ng di squi et ed. Thi ngs. The house was f ul l of t hi ngs. When she got ol d enough t o have a house, she' d own not hi ng. Vi vi anna br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he l i br ar y. Vi vi anna t r i ed and f ai l ed t o open t he l ock on t he desk. " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he f oyer al l t o mysel f , " t hought Dar by. Dar by debat ed j ust l eavi ng t he house. " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he ki t chen al l t o mysel f , " t hought Ki ah. Ki ah r i f l ed t hr ough t he cabi net s f or al cohol . She t hought about school , and how Vi vi anna and Dar by never t al ked t o her . Wer e t hey j eal ous of her somehow? Not l i kel y. Di d t hey secr et l y l i ke her af t er al l ? I t di dn' t mat t er anyway. But l i f e was pr obabl y har d f or t hem t oo, i n i t s own way. I t al ways i s. The l i br ar y was empt y. Fi nal l y, Phi l omena t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. The bookshel f r emi nded her of her mot her . Bar f . Thi ngs. The house was f ul l of t hi ngs. When she got ol d enough t o have a house, s he' d own not hi ng. Nobody was i n t he ki t c hen, so Di t a f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. " Wow, check out t hat oven, " she sai d t o no one i n par t i cul ar . She hear d a noi se f r om somewher e el se i n
t he house. Vi vi anna l ooked ar ound t he gr eat hal l . Vi vi anna st ar ed down t he hal l , whi ch seemed l onger t han i t had any r i ght t o be. Dar by ent er ed t he f oyer . Dar by debat ed j ust l eavi ng t he house. Gal e br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he l i vi ng r oom. The f l at scr een TV caught her eye. She t hought i t was t he ugl i es t t hi ng she' d ever seen. She di dn' t gi ve i t a second t hought . Di t a encount er ed Ki ah i n t he back y ar d. Di t a pl ayed ner vousl y wi t h her phone i n a successf ul bi d t o avoi d t al ki ng t o Ki ah. Gal e l ook ed ar ound t he f r ont yar d. Gal e r an her f i nger s t hr ough t he wel l mani cur ed gr ass, dr eami ng of bet t er days. As Vi vi anna ent er ed t he l i br ar y, she saw Phi l omena maki ng t r oubl e. " Why woul d y ou wanna have a see t hr u pur se?" Vi vi anna asked. " because I have t o pul l an al l ni ght er r ound 2 t oni ght makes me wanna cr y, " sai d Phi l omena. As Dar by ent er ed t he l i br ar y, she saw Vi vi anna maki ng t r oubl e. " What ' s your f avor i t e mor ni ng wor kout ?" demanded Dar by. " Tomor r ow. " Phi l omena encount er ed Vi vi anna i n t he gr eat hal l . Phi l omena st ar ed at Vi vi anna suspi ci ous l y. Di t a ent er ed t he back y ar d t o f i nd Ki ah st andi ng t her e. Di t a st ar ed at Ki ah suspi ci ousl y. Dar by l ook ed ar ound t he l i br ar y. Dar by f l i pped t hr ough some books. The back y ar d hel d t wo i t ems of i nt er est t o Ki ah: t he l awn f ur ni t ur e and Di t a. Ki ah pl ayed ner vousl y wi t h her wat c h i n a successf ul bi d t o avoi d t al ki ng t o Di t a. She t hought about Di t a.
I t was al most t oo much t o deal wi t h. Why coul dn' t she be mor e l i ke her ? Maybe i f t hey coul d j ust be r eal wi t h each ot her f or onc e. . . Nobody r eal l y knew how she f el t . Why di d ever yone want t o be l i ke her ? Af t er some t i me, Gal e f ound her sel f i n t he l i vi ng r oom. She st ar ed at t he f l at scr een TV uncompr ehendi ngl y. Why she not i ced i n t he f i r st pl ace was beyond her . Vi vi anna encount er ed Phi l omena i n t he gr eat hal l . " What ' s t he best bl unt wr ap paper ?" Vi vi anna i nqui r ed. " That f i r st bl unt of t he day, " sai d Phi l omena. " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he gr eat hal l al l t o mysel f , " t hought Phi l omena. Phi l omena st ar ed down t he hal l , whi ch seemed l onger t han i t had any r i ght t o be. She t hought about school , and how Gal e and Di t a di dn' t have t o t r y har d t o be l i ked. Wer e t hey j eal ous of her somehow? Not l i kel y. How coul d t hat even be possi bl e? Di d t hey secr et l y l i ke her af t er al l ? I t di dn' t mat t er anyway. They wer e al ways l aughi ng wi t h t hei r per f ect f r i ends. " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he di ni ng r oom al l t o mysel f , " t hought Ki ah. She not i ced t he si l ver war e. Ki nda t acky. She wi shed t he booz e woul d ki ck i n. Gal e br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he f r ont yar d. Gal e r an her f i nger s t hr ough t he wel l mani c ur ed gr ass, dr eami ng of bet t er days. " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he guest bedr oom al l t o mysel f , " t hought Phi l omena. She dut i f ul l y avoi ded t he set of c ur t ai ns out of some pr i mal r espect f or i t s ot her ness. Why she not i ced i n t he f i r st pl ace was beyond her . She t hought about school , and how Di t a and Dar by di dn' t have t o t r y har d t o be l i ked. Why di d t hey l eav e whenever she ent er ed a r oom? Di d t hey secr et l y l i ke her af t er al l ? I t di dn' t mat t er anyway. They wer e queen bees and t hey knew i t . They never i nvi t ed her t o par t i es; i t was a f l uke she ended up at t hi s one. But l i f e was pr obabl y har d f or t hem t oo, i n i t s own way. I t al ways i s. Vi vi anna ent er ed t he mast er bat hr oom. She not i ced t he bl onde onyx t oi l et . Ki nda t acky. Why she not i ced i n t he f i r st pl ace was beyond her .
Dar by br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he l i br ar y. Dar by t r i ed and f ai l ed t o open t he l ock on t he desk. Af t er some t i me, Ki ah f ound her sel f i n t he ki t chen. Ki ah checked t he f r i dge f or snac ks. She t hought about school , and how Gal e and Vi vi anna wer e suc h t ot al bi t ches. Why di d t hey l eave whenever she ent er ed a r oom? How coul d t hat even be possi bl e? They wer e al ways l aughi ng wi t h t hei r per f ect f r i ends. They wer e queen bees and t hey knew i t . They never i nvi t ed her t o par t i es; i t was a f l uke she ended up at t hi s one. They al ways got t hey want ed. Al ways. But l i f e was pr obabl y har d f or t hem t oo, i n i t s own way. I t al ways i s. Gal e l ook ed ar ound t he f oyer . Gal e debat ed j ust l eavi ng t he house. Phi l omena ent er ed t he gr eat hal l . Phi l omena st ar ed down t he hal l , whi ch seemed l onger t han i t had any r i ght t o be. Di t a l ooked ar ound t he di ni ng r oom. The si l ver war e caught her eye. She t hought i t was t he ugl i est t hi ng she' d ever seen. She was hopi ng i t woul d di st r act her , i f f or some br i ef moment , f r om her l i f e. Nobody was i n t he f oyer , so Dar by f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. Dar by debat ed j ust l eavi ng t he house. She t hought about school , and how Ki ah and Dar by di dn' t have t o t r y har d t o be l i ked. How coul d t hat even be possi bl e? They wer e al ways l aughi ng wi t h t hei r per f ect f r i ends. They wal k ed ar ound t he school l i k e t hey owned t he pl ace. They al ways got t hey want ed. Al ways. " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he l i vi ng r oom al l t o mysel f , " t hought Gal e. Gal e t ur ned on t he TV f or a whi l e. Nobody was i n t he gr eat hal l , so Phi l omena f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. Phi l omena st ar ed down t he hal l , whi ch seemed l onger t han i t had any r i ght t o be. Af t er some t i me, Vi vi anna f ound her sel f i n t he mast er bedr oom. She st ar ed at t he t eak dr esser uncompr ehendi ngl y. She di dn' t gi ve i t a second t hought . Nobody was i n t he l i br ar y, so Dar by f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. The
bookshel f r emi nded her of her mot her . Bar f . She was hopi ng i t woul d di st r act her , i f f or some br i ef moment , f r om her l i f e. Af t er some t i me, Ki ah f ound her sel f i n t he ki t chen. She not i ced t he kni f e set . Ki nda t acky. She was hopi ng i t woul d di st r act her , i f f or some br i ef moment , f r om her l i f e. Nobody was i n t he l i vi ng r oom, so Gal e f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. Gal e t ur ned on t he TV f or a whi l e. She t hought about Di t a. Di t a and t hat i ncr edi bl e phone of her s. She l i ked her so damn much. I t was al most t oo much t o deal wi t h. Why coul dn' t she be mor e l i ke her ? Maybe i f t hey coul d j ust be r eal wi t h each ot her f or once. . . Nobody r eal l y knew how she f el t . Why di d ever yone want t o be l i ke her ? Just t hi nki ng about i t made her want t o puke. Phi l omena l ooked ar ound t he gr eat hal l . She st ar ed at t he t r i bal Af ghan r ug uncompr ehendi ngl y. Par t of her , a l ar ger par t t han she car ed t o admi t , want ed t o s mash i t . Nobody was i n t he l i br ar y, so Dar by f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. The bookshel f caught her eye. She t hought i t was t he ugl i est t hi ng she' d ever seen. Thi ngs. The house was f ul l of t hi ngs . When she got ol d enough t o have a house, she' d own not hi ng. Nobody was i n t he cl os et , so Ki ah f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. The br oom caught her eye. She t hought i t was t he ugl i est t hi ng she' d ever seen. She hear d a noi se f r om somewher e el se i n t he house. Nobody was i n t he f oyer , so Gal e f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. The chandel i er r emi nded her of her mot her . Bar f . Par t of her , a l ar ger par t t han she car ed t o admi t , want ed t o smash i t . As Dar by ent er ed t he gr eat hal l , s he saw Phi l omena maki ng t r oubl e. Dar by eyed Phi l omena' s f ashi onabl e scar f wi t h envy. " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he cl oset al l t o mysel f , " t hought Ki ah. Ki ah sur r ept i ci ousl y r ear r anged t he suppl i es. Nobody was i n t he f r ont yar d, so Gal e f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. " Wow,
chec k out t hat t r ee, " she sai d t o no one i n par t i cul ar . She was hopi ng i t woul d di st r act her , i f f or some br i ef moment , f r om her l i f e. The ki t chen hel d t wo i t ems of i nt er est t o Di t a: t he f r i dge and Ki ah. Ki ah l ooked di r ec t l y at Di t a. " I had t he wei r dest dr eam, " she sai d. " I was a Car ebear f r om t he show " Car ebear s" and my Car ebear f r i ends and I wer e r i di ng ar ound on r ai nbows and havi ng a good t i me. Suddenl y t he l eader of t he car ebear s got r eal l y mad at me f or no r eason and t ol d me I was bani shed. I hadn' t done anyt hi ng, so I di dn' t l eave. When he f ound out , he was goi ng t o put me i n j ai l , but I got away bef or e he coul d. " Gal e l ook ed ar ound t he l i vi ng r oom. She dut i f ul l y avoi ded t he f l at scr een TV out of some pr i mal r espect f or i t s ot her ness. She wi shed t he booze woul d ki ck i n. The ki t chen was empt y. Fi nal l y, Di t a t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. Di t a checked t he f r i dge f or snacks. " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he guest bedr oom al l t o mysel f , " t hought Dar by. She dut i f ul l y avoi ded t he set of cur t ai ns out of some pr i mal r espect f or i t s ot her ness. She hear d a noi se f r om somewher e el se i n t he house. " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he f r ont yar d al l t o mysel f , " t hought Gal e. She dut i f ul l y avoi ded t he l awn out of some pr i mal r espect f or i t s ot her ness. She hear d a noi se f r om somewher e el se i n t he house. Phi l omena br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he guest bedr oom. Phi l omena guessed t hat t hi s was t he most bor i ng r oom i n t he house. Vi vi anna encount er ed Dar by i n t he gr eat hal l . Dar by was cr yi ng. Vi vi anna act ed on i nst i nct . " Tel l me al l about i t . " she sai d. Dar by obl i ged i n an unbecomi ng out pour i ng. " I was wi t h my mom and our car br oke down, so mom cal l ed t r i pl e A and t owed our car . Af t er t hat , i t was a j umbl e of bei ng i n a somewhat Tom Sawy er nei ghbor hood and bei ng at school . Comi ng back wi t h a babysi t t er , we wai t ed f or mom t o pul l up, and she di d i n a dar k t ur quoi se spor t scar . " Dar by encount er ed Vi vi anna i n t he gr eat hal l . Vi vi anna l ooked di r ect l y at Dar by. " I had t he wei r dest dr eam, " she sai d. " I went t o summer camp, met a gi r l who l i ked my st r ai ght f or war dness, and she gave me some f al s e eyel ashes. I r emember t hi nki ng I ' d f or got t en al l my hai r pr oduct s. Then I saw a l i t t l e boy bei ng beat up, so I went over t o one of t he guys and t ol d hi m he was a f uck up. He
t hen asked me i f I want ed my head t wi st ed of f , and got r eal l y pi ssed. So I t ol d hi m he had mi sunder st ood my comment , and what I r eal l y sai d was " I wanna f uck you up. " So he changed hi s mi nd and f el l i n l ove wi t h me, and we di d t hi s danci ng f l yi ng ki nd of t hi ng. Af t er we di d t hi s, I acci dent al l y l et go and f l ew i nt o anot her r oom, and changed i nt o a t wi n of t he man i n t her e. Then t her e was somet hi ng i n t her e about Dor ot hy/ Judy Gar l and, but I don' t r emember . I don' t r emember t he endi ng. " Gal e ent er ed t he l i vi ng r oom. She not i ced t he f l at scr een TV. Ki nda t acky. Why she not i ced i n t he f i r st pl ace was beyond her . Ki ah ent er ed t he cl oset . Di t a was t her e, as i f wai t i ng. Ki ah appear ed cr oss. " what ' s your f avour i t e s ex posi t i on?" she asked. " Home Depot . " " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he guest bedr oom al l t o mysel f , " t hought Phi l omena. The post er of a. . . Monet ? caught her eye. She t hought i t was t he ugl i est t hi ng she' d ever seen. She hear d a noi se f r om somewher e el se i n t he house. Vi vi anna ent er ed t he l i br ar y. Vi vi anna t r i ed and f ai l ed t o open t he l ock on t he desk . Ki ah ent er ed t he ki t chen t o f i nd Di t a st andi ng t her e. Ki ah pl ayed ner vousl y wi t h her wat ch i n a success f ul bi d t o avoi d t al ki ng t o Di t a. The f r ont y ar d was empt y. Fi nal l y, Gal e t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. Gal e r an her f i nger s t hr ough t he wel l mani cur ed gr ass, dr eami ng of bet t er days. Nobody was i n t he guest bedr oom, so Phi l omena f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. The next t hi ng she saw was t he bed, whi ch l ef t her f eel i ng di squi et ed. She hear d a noi se f r om somewher e el se i n t he house. Di t a br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n s i ght s of t he ki t chen. She st ar ed at t he kni f e set uncompr ehendi ngl y. She was hopi ng i t woul d di st r act her , i f f or some br i ef moment , f r om her l i f e.
Vi vi anna br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he l i br ar y. Vi vi anna t r i ed and f ai l ed t o open t he l ock on t he desk. " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he f r ont yar d al l t o mysel f , " t hought Gal e. Gal e st ar t ed t o cl i mb t he t r ee, t hen t hought bet t er of i t . Vi vi anna ent er ed t he gr eat hal l t o f i nd Phi l omena st andi ng t her e. Phi l omena l ooked di r ec t l y at Vi vi anna. " I had t he wei r dest dr eam, " she sai d. " Al l I an r emember i s goi ng t hr ough a house t hen i nt o a gar den maze. I t t ur ned out t o be one of t hose " gr oup" ski l l s act i vi t i es, but i t t ook me a whi l e t o f i nd my gr oup. They had f ound many cl ues al r eady, so I wasn' t t hat hel pf ul . I t hi nk we won. " Dar by l ook ed ar ound t he mast er bedr oom. She not i ced t he ki ng si zed bed. Ki nda t acky. She was hopi ng i t woul d di st r act her , i f f or some br i ef moment , f r om her l i f e. She t hought about school , and how Ki ah and Gal e never t al ked t o her . Why di d t hey l eave whenever she ent er ed a r oom? Di d t hey secr et l y l i ke her af t er al l ? I t di dn' t mat t er anyway. They wer e al ways l aughi ng wi t h t hei r per f ect f r i ends. They al ways got t hey want ed. Al ways. Di d t hey suspect she t hought about t hem so much? The l i vi ng r oom was empt y. Fi nal l y, Gal e t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. " Wow, check out t hat cof f ee t abl e, " she sai d t o no one i n par t i cul ar . Why she not i ced i n t he f i r st pl ace was beyond her . Phi l omena encount er ed Vi vi anna i n t he gr eat hal l . " what ' s your f avour i t e memor y of t hi s year s r ugby t weet us her e?" asked Phi l omena. Vi vi anna squi r med. " honest l y t hat bonf i r e l ast year w/ t r i st an and mi chael a. " Phi l omena ent er ed t he gr eat hal l . Dar by was t her e, as i f wai t i ng. Phi l omena st ar ed at Dar by suspi ci ousl y. Af t er some t i me, Ki ah f ound her sel f i n t he ki t chen. Ki ah checked t he f r i dge f or snac ks. The l i vi ng r oom was empt y. Fi nal l y, Gal e t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. The cof f ee t abl e r emi nded her of her mot her . Bar f . She wi shed t he booze woul d ki ck i n. Dar by ent er ed t he gr eat hal l t o f i nd Phi l omena st andi ng t her e. " why woul d you ki dnap
hayl ey?" " because I waved my ar ms ar ound cause I was exci t ed f or my gr ades, " sai d Phi l omena. The bat hr oom was empt y. Fi nal l y, Phi l omena t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. Phi l omena r el i eved her sel f . Di t a ent er ed t he di ni ng r oom. She dut i f ul l y avoi ded t he di ni ng r oom t abl e out of some pr i mal r espect f or i t s ot her ness. She hear d a noi se f r om somewher e el se i n t he house. The back y ar d was empt y. Fi nal l y, Ki ah t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. She st ar ed at t he l awn f ur ni t ur e uncompr ehendi ngl y. She was hopi ng i t woul d di st r act her , i f f or some br i ef moment , f r om her l i f e. As Vi vi anna ent er ed t he gr eat hal l , she saw Dar by maki ng t r oubl e. " what ' s your f av our i t e col our ?" Vi vi anna asked. " I ' m not an emo but bl ack. " Phi l omena ent er ed t he bat hr oom. The naut i cal t hemed shower cur t ai n caught her eye. She t hought i t was t he ugl i est t hi ng she' d ever seen. She hear d a noi se f r om somewher e el se i n t he house. Af t er some t i me, Di t a f ound her sel f i n t he ki t chen. The kni f e set r emi nded her of her mot her . Bar f . She wi shed t he booze woul d ki ck i n. The guest bedr oom hel d t wo i t ems of i nt er est t o Dar by: t he post er of a. . . Monet ? and Vi vi anna. Dar by eyed Vi vi anna' s aquamar i ne sweat er wi t h envy. She t hought about Vi vi anna. Why di d ever yone want t o be l i ke her ? Nobody was i n t he back yar d, so Ki ah f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. " Wow, chec k out t hat l awn f ur ni t ur e, " she sai d t o no one i n par t i cul ar . Par t of her , a l ar ger par t t han she car ed t o admi t , want ed t o smash i t . Af t er some t i me, Di t a f ound her sel f i n t he di ni ng r oom. The next t hi ng she saw was t he di ni ng r oom t abl e, whi ch l ef t her f eel i ng di squi et ed. She was hopi ng i t woul d di st r act her , i f
f or some br i ef moment , f r om her l i f e. Dar by and Phi l omena r an i nt o each ot her i n t he gr eat hal l . Phi l omena st i f f ened and began t o r ambl e, not not i ci ng Dar by, as i f i n a f ugue st at e. " I was goi ng t o f ence someone but al l of t he swor ds di dn' t hav e l ong bl ades. I asked some buy t o f ence and he t ur ned out t o be my f r i end' s br ot her . We wer e t al ki ng and he t ol d me he was t aki ng cal cul us XZ. Then he s mi l ed at me and I t hi nk I l i ked hi m. He sai d t wo ni ce t hi ngs t o me and sai d s omet hi ng about t he di f f er ence i n our age. Then he sai d, " You ar en' t usi ng my s i st er t o get t o me?" I sai d no and he sai d, " I don' t want my si st er t o get hur t . " Bef or e t hat , we wer e at camp and assi gned t o j obs bef or e t he f east . I went downst ai r s t o t hi s beach; someone was t el l i ng me about how peopl e di ed i n a vol cano her e. I t r emi nded me of Mt . Vesuvi us. Then me & Jeanet t e went down a dar k r oad i n a car t o go gr oc er y shoppi ng even t hough i t wasn' t my j ob. Then I went down st ai r s t o t he boys school wher e my ol d cr ush R. went t o school . I was l ooki ng f or hi m but I c oul dn' t f i nd hi m. " " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he l i br ar y al l t o mysel f , " t hought Gal e. Gal e f l i pped t hr ough some books. She t hought about Vi vi anna. Vi vi anna and t hat aquamar i ne sweat er of her s. She l i ked her so damn much. I t was al most t oo much t o deal wi t h. Nobody r eal l y knew how she f el t . Phi l omena br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he guest bedr oom. She not i ced t he post er of a. . . Monet ?. Ki nda t acky . She was hopi ng i t woul d di st r act her , i f f or some br i ef moment , f r om her l i f e. Vi vi anna f ound Dar by i n t he gr eat hal l . Vi vi anna pl ayed ner vousl y wi t h her bel t i n a successf ul bi d t o avoi d t al ki ng t o Dar by. Dar by f ound Vi vi anna i n t he gr eat hal l . Dar by eyed Vi vi anna' s ost ent at i ous bel t wi t h envy. Ki ah ent er ed t he back yar d t o f i nd Di t a st andi ng t her e. Ki ah st ar ed at Di t a suspi ci ousl y. The l i br ar y was empt y. Fi nal l y, Gal e t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. Gal e t r i ed and f ai l ed t o open t he l ock on t he desk. Nobody was i n t he gar age, so Di t a f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. Di t a t r i ed t o j i mmy t he l ock on t he c ar and ended up set t i ng of f t he al ar m. Whoops.
The gr eat hal l was empt y. Fi nal l y, Vi vi anna t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. Vi vi anna st ar ed down t he hal l , whi ch seemed l onger t han i t had any r i ght t o be. Nobody was i n t he mast er bedr oom, so Dar by f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. " Wow, check out t hat ki ng si zed bed, " she sai d t o no one i n par t i cul ar . She wi shed t he booze woul d ki ck i n. She t hought about Vi vi anna. Vi vi anna and t hat aquamar i ne sweat er of her s. Nobody r eal l y knew how she f el t . Just t hi nki ng about i t made her want t o puk e. The back y ar d was empt y. Fi nal l y, Ki ah t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. " Wow, check out t hat l awn f ur ni t ur e, " she sai d t o no one i n par t i cul ar . She wi shed t he booze woul d ki ck i n. Gal e br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he l i br ar y. The mahogany wor k desk caught her eye. She t hought i t was t he ugl i es t t hi ng she' d ever seen. Thi ngs. The house was f ul l of t hi ngs. When she got ol d enough t o have a house, she' d own not hi ng. Phi l omena ent er ed t he gr eat hal l . Vi vi anna was t her e, as i f wai t i ng. Phi l omena avoi ded Vi vi anna. She t hought about Vi vi anna. She l oved her so damn much. She want ed t hat sweat er . Not hi ng el se woul d do. Why coul dn' t she be mor e l i ke her ? Di t a br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n s i ght s of t he gar age. Di t a peer ed i n t he car door f or some ki nd of cl ue as t o whose house t hi s was. She t hought about school , and how Gal e and Vi vi anna had mor e money t han she di d. Di d t hey secr et l y l i ke her af t er al l ? I t di dn' t mat t er anyway. They wer e al ways l aughi ng wi t h t hei r per f ect f r i ends. They wal ked ar ound t he school l i ke t hey owned t he pl ace. They wer e queen bees and t hey knew i t . They al ways got t hey want ed. Al way s. Di d t hey suspect she t hought about t hem so much? Vi vi anna wal ked i nt o t he gr eat hal l and saw Phi l omena. Gr eat . " Wher e di d you get t hat phone, Phi l omena?" Phi l omena i gnor ed her . Gal e ent er ed t he l i br ar y . The bookshel f r emi nded her of her mot her . Bar f . Par t of her , a l ar ger par t t han she car ed t o admi t , want ed t o smash i t . Phi l omena and Vi vi anna r an i nt o each ot her i n t he gr eat hal l . " Wher e di d you get t hat
sweat er , Vi vi anna?" Vi v i anna i gnor ed her . " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he gar age al l t o mysel f , " t hought Di t a. The r i di ng l awnmower caught her eye. She t hought i t was t he ugl i es t t hi ng she' d ever seen. Par t of her , a l ar ger par t t han she car ed t o admi t , want ed t o smash i t . The mast er bat hr oom was empt y. Fi nal l y, Dar by t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. She st ar ed at t he bl onde onyx count er t op uncompr ehendi ngl y. She di dn' t gi ve i t a second t hought . The di ni ng r oom was empt y. Fi nal l y, Ki ah t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. She dut i f ul l y avoi ded t he di ni ng r oom t abl e out of some pr i mal r espect f or i t s ot her ness. Thi ngs. The house was f ul l of t hi ngs . When she got ol d enough t o have a house, she' d own not hi ng. Phi l omena l ooked ar ound t he gr eat hal l . She st ar ed at t he f ami l y por t r ai t uncompr ehendi ngl y. She di dn' t gi v e i t a second t hought . Nobody was i n t he guest bedr oom, so Vi vi anna f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. Vi vi anna guessed t hat t hi s was t he most bor i ng r oom i n t he house. Dar by l ook ed ar ound t he mast er bat hr oom. She dut i f ul l y avoi ded t he bl onde onyx t oi l et out of some pr i mal r espect f or i t s ot her ness. She di dn' t gi ve i t a second t hought . Ki ah ent er ed t he l i vi ng r oom. Ki ah bounced on t he sof a, hopi ng t o r ecapt ur e her chi l dhood i nnocence. Nobody was i n t he f oyer , so Gal e f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. She dut i f ul l y avoi ded t he si de t abl e out of some pr i mal r espect f or i t s ot her ness. She di dn' t gi ve i t a second t hought . She t hought about school , and how Ki ah and Dar by t hought t hey wer e so much bet t er t han ever yone el se. How coul d t hat even be possi bl e? They wal ked ar ound t he school l i ke t hey owned t he pl ace. They al ways got t hey want ed. Al ways. Di d t hey suspect she t hought about t hem so much? Di t a br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n s i ght s of t he back yar d. The gas gr i l l caught her eye. She t hought i t was t he ugl i est t hi ng she' d ever seen. Thi ngs. The house was f ul l of t hi ngs. When
she got ol d enough t o have a hous e, she' d own not hi ng. Ki ah br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he l i vi ng r oom. Ki ah t ur ned on t he TV f or a whi l e. Af t er some t i me, Gal e f ound her sel f i n t he f oyer . Gal e debat ed j ust l eavi ng t he house. Vi vi anna and Phi l omena r an i nt o each ot her i n t he gr eat hal l . " what i s your f avor i t e pen t o use f or wr i t i ng post car ds shar pi e?" " t hi s gi r l keeps t aki ng my pen and I ' m l aughi ng but i nsi de I ' m not because t hi s, " sai d Phi l omena. Phi l omena wal ked i nt o t he gr eat hal l and saw Vi vi anna. Gr eat . " why woul d you go back?" Phi l omena demanded. Vi vi anna squi r med. " because I r eal l y do not want t o go back t o del t ech. " Phi l omena l ooked ar ound t he bat hr oom. Phi l omena l ooked ar ound f or t ampons, f i ndi ng none. Af t er some t i me, Di t a f ound her sel f i n t he gar age. Di t a peer ed i n t he car door f or some ki nd of cl ue as t o whose house t hi s was. She t hought about Vi vi anna. Vi vi anna and t hat aquamar i ne sweat er of her s. Just t hi nki ng about i t made her want t o puke. Vi vi anna ent er ed t he gr eat hal l . Vi vi anna st ar ed down t he hal l , whi ch seemed l onger t han i t had any r i ght t o be. " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he mast er bedr oom al l t o mysel f , " t hought Dar by. She st ar ed at t he ki ng si zed bed uncompr ehendi ngl y . Par t of her , a l ar ger par t t han she car ed t o admi t , want ed t o smash i t . She t hought about Di t a. She want ed t hat phone. Not hi ng el se woul d do. I t was al most t oo much t o deal wi t h. Why di d she come t o t hi s st upi d house par t y i n t he f i r st pl ace? The l i vi ng r oom was empt y. Fi nal l y, Ki ah t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. Ki ah
bounced on t he sof a, hopi ng t o r ec apt ur e her chi l dhood i nnocence. Nobody was i n t he f oyer , so Gal e f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. Gal e debat ed j ust l eavi ng t he house. The gr eat hal l was empt y. Fi nal l y, Phi l omena t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. Phi l omena st ar ed down t he hal l , whi ch seemed l onger t han i t had any r i ght t o be. The gar age was empt y. Fi nal l y, Di t a t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. She st ar ed at t he r i di ng l awnmower uncompr ehendi ngl y. Par t of her , a l ar ger par t t han she car ed t o admi t , want ed t o smash i t . Ki ah ent er ed t he l i vi ng r oom. She dut i f ul l y avoi ded t he cof f ee t abl e out of some pr i mal r espect f or i t s ot her ness. She was hopi ng i t woul d di st r act her , i f f or some br i ef moment , f r om her l i f e. Gal e ent er ed t he f r ont yar d. Gal e r an her f i nger s t hr ough t he wel l mani cur ed gr ass, dr eami ng of bet t er days. The guest bedr oom was empt y. Fi nal l y, Phi l omena t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. The next t hi ng she saw was t he set of cur t ai ns, whi ch l ef t her f eel i ng di squi et ed. Thi ngs. The house was f ul l of t hi ngs. When she got ol d enough t o have a house, she' d own not hi ng. The back y ar d was empt y. Fi nal l y, Di t a t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. She st ar ed at t he l awn f ur ni t ur e uncompr ehendi ngl y. Thi ngs. The house was f ul l of t hi ngs. When she got ol d enough t o have a house, she' d own not hi ng. She t hought about Di t a. Di t a and t hat i ncr edi bl e phone of her s. She want ed t hat phone. Not hi ng el se woul d do. Why coul dn' t she be mor e l i ke her ? Nobody r eal l y knew how she f el t . Just t hi nki ng about i t made her want t o puke. Why di d she come t o t hi s st upi d house par t y i n t he f i r st pl ace? Vi vi anna and Dar by r an i nt o each ot her i n t he mast er bedr oom. Dar by was cr yi ng. Vi vi anna act ed on i nst i nct . " Tel l me al l about i t . " she sai d. Dar by obl i ged i n an unbecomi ng out pour i ng. " I was si t t i ng wi t h some gi r l f r i ends on a gr assy hi l l when al l of a sudden a f i r e br oke out and ever yone was r unni ng. Then t he f i r e di sappear ed and we al l t ur ned i nt o cat peopl e and went
swi mmi ng i n a pool of mi l k. " Af t er some t i me, Ki ah f ound her sel f i n t he l i vi ng r oom. The next t hi ng she saw was t he f l at scr een TV, whi ch l ef t her f eel i ng di squi et ed. Why she not i ced i n t he f i r st pl ace was beyond her . Gal e l ook ed ar ound t he f r ont yar d. Gal e r an her f i nger s t hr ough t he wel l mani cur ed gr ass, dr eami ng of bet t er days. She t hought about school , and how Gal e and Dar by never t al ked t o her . How coul d t hat even be pos si bl e? They al ways got t hey want ed. Al ways. As Dar by ent er ed t he mast er bedr oom, she saw Vi vi anna maki ng t r oubl e. " What ' s your f avor i t e hol i day / wi nt er song?" asked Dar by. Vi vi anna r ecoi l ed. " Thanksgi vi ngmy f avor i t e hol i day but I can' t hel p but smi l e t hat Chr i st mas musi c i s . " Vi vi anna f ound Phi l omena i n t he gr eat hal l . Phi l omena l ooked di r ect l y at Vi vi anna. " I had t he wei r dest dr eam, " she sai d. " I had a younger si st er who r an away. I had t o go l ook at shi r t s she had wor n t o guess what she was wear i ng, and f i nal l y concl uded t hat she was at a mi ddl e school I used t o at t end. " The l i vi ng r oom was empt y. Fi nal l y, Ki ah t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. She not i ced t he cof f ee t abl e. Ki nda t acky. Why she not i ced i n t he f i r st pl ace was beyond her . Af t er some t i me, Di t a f ound her sel f i n t he gar age. The next t hi ng she saw was t he r i di ng l awnmower , whi ch l ef t her f eel i ng di squi et ed. She was hopi ng i t woul d di st r act her , i f f or some br i ef moment , f r om her l i f e. Af t er some t i me, Ki ah f ound her sel f i n t he l i vi ng r oom. " Wow, check out t hat f l at scr een TV, " she sai d t o no one i n par t i cul ar . Why she not i ced i n t he f i r st pl ace was beyond her . Gal e ent er ed t he gr eat hal l . Phi l omena was t her e, as i f wai t i ng. Gal e avoi ded Phi l omena. She t hought about school , and how Phi l omena and Phi l omena wer e such t ot al bi t ches. How coul d t hat even be possi bl e? They wer e al ways l aughi ng wi t h t hei r per f ect f r i ends. They wal ked ar ound t he school l i ke t hey owned t he pl ace. They wer e queen bees and t hey
knew i t . They never i nvi t ed her t o par t i es; i t was a f l uke she ended up at t hi s one. Di d t hey suspect she t hought about t hem so much? As Dar by ent er ed t he l i br ar y, she saw Vi vi anna maki ng t r oubl e. Dar by seemed cr oss. " what ' s your f avour i t e col our ?" she demanded. " bl ack, " sai d Vi vi anna. Phi l omena and Di t a r an i nt o each ot her i n t he gr eat hal l . " Dr eams, " Phi l omena sai d. " Tel l me about y our dr eams . " Di t a al most sai d not hi ng, but t hought bet t er of i t . " I was at home when I answer ed t he door . A per s on was t her e who sai d, " Congr at ul at i ons, you have won anyt hi ng and ever yt hi ng you want f or ever . " I f ai nt ed but when I came t o, I st ar t ed. I got al l of t he Bar bi e st uf f I want ed, and al l of t he ever yt hi ng I want ed. I got my par ent s bi g houses and adopt ed l ot s of ani mal s. I was ver y happy. " The f r ont y ar d was empt y. Fi nal l y, Ki ah t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. Ki ah r an her f i nger s t hr ough t he wel l mani cur ed gr ass, dr eami ng of bet t er days. Dar by ent er ed t he l i br ar y. Gal e was t her e, as i f wai t i ng. " What i s your f avor i t e t hi ng about wi nt er ?" " Li st eni ng t o musi c i n bed. " Di t a f ound Gal e i n t he l i br ar y. " Wher e di d you get t hat ski r t , Gal e?" Gal e i gnor ed her . Vi vi anna f ound Dar by i n t he gr eat hal l . Vi vi anna st ar ed at Dar by suspi ci ousl y. Af t er some t i me, Ki ah f ound her sel f i n t he gar age. The next t hi ng she saw was t he BMW, whi ch l ef t her f eel i ng di squi et ed. She hear d a noi se f r om somewher e el se i n t he house. Gal e ent er ed t he l i br ar y . Di t a was t her e, as i f wai t i ng. " What ' s your f avor i t e home c ooked meal ?" Gal e asked. " Spghet t i bol onai se, " sai d Di t a. Di t a and Gal e r an i nt o each ot her i n t he l i br ar y. Di t a st ar ed at Gal e suspi ci ousl y.
Af t er some t i me, Dar by f ound her sel f i n t he guest bedr oom. Dar by guessed t hat t hi s was t he most bor i ng r oom i n t he house. Nobody was i n t he f r ont yar d, so Ki ah f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. Ki ah r an her f i nger s t hr ough t he wel l mani cur ed gr ass, dr eami ng of bet t er days. " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he f oyer al l t o mysel f , " t hought Di t a. She dut i f ul l y avoi ded t he chandel i er out of some pr i mal r espect f or i t s ot her ness. She hear d a noi se f r om somewher e el se i n t he house. She t hought about Dar by. Why coul dn' t she be mor e l i ke her ? Af t er some t i me, Dar by f ound her sel f i n t he guest bedr oom. Dar by guessed t hat t hi s was t he most bor i ng r oom i n t he house. She t hought about Gal e. Gal e and t hat t eal shi r t of her s. Maybe i f t hey coul d j ust be r eal wi t h each ot her f or once. . . Nobody r eal l y knew how she f el t . Why di d she come t o t hi s st upi d house par t y i n t he f i r st pl ace? The f r ont y ar d was empt y. Fi nal l y, Ki ah t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. She st ar ed at t he l awn uncompr ehendi ngl y. She di dn' t gi ve i t a second t hought . Gal e ent er ed t he gr eat hal l . Gal e st ar ed down t he hal l , whi ch seemed l onger t han i t had any r i ght t o be. Di t a ent er ed t he f oyer . The next t hi ng she saw was t he chandel i er , whi ch l ef t her f eel i ng di squi et ed. She wi shed t he booze woul d ki ck i n. Vi vi anna wal ked i nt o t he mast er bedr oom and saw Phi l omena. Gr eat . Vi vi anna pl ay ed ner vousl y wi t h her sweat er i n a successf ul bi d t o avoi d t al ki ng t o Phi l omena. Dar by ent er ed t he gr eat hal l t o f i nd Gal e st andi ng t her e. Dar by st ar ed at Gal e suspi ci ousl y. Ki ah ent er ed t he f r ont y ar d. Ki ah s t ar t ed t o cl i mb t he t r ee, t hen t hought bet t er of i t . Phi l omena wal ked i nt o t he mast er bedr oom and saw Vi vi anna. Gr eat . " why do you car e what peopl e say ?" " because I ' m t oo good, j ust al ways t hi nk peopl e ar e busy or don' t wanna be bugged, " sai d
Vi vi anna. " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he f r ont yar d al l t o mysel f , " t hought Di t a. She dut i f ul l y avoi ded t he t r ee out of some pr i mal r espect f or i t s ot her ness. Thi ngs. The house was f ul l of t hi ngs. When she got ol d enough t o have a house, s he' d own not hi ng. She t hought about school , and how Gal e and Vi vi anna di dn' t have t o t r y har d t o be l i ked. How coul d t hat even be possi bl e? They wer e al ways l aughi ng wi t h t hei r per f ect f r i ends. They wal ked ar ound t he school l i ke t hey owned t he pl ace. Vi vi anna ent er ed t he mast er bedr oom t o f i nd Phi l omena st andi ng t her e. Vi vi anna eyed Phi l omena' s cr i mson phone wi t h envy. The bat hr oom was empt y. Fi nal l y, Dar by t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. Dar by was af r ai d, as s he al ways was, t hat a mur der er l ay i n ambush behi nd t he shower cur t ai n. Nobody was i n t he gar age, so Ki ah f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. " Wow, check out t hat BMW, " she sai d t o no one i n par t i cul ar . She wi shed t he booze woul d ki ck i n. " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he guest bedr oom al l t o mysel f , " t hought Gal e. Gal e i magi ned what ki nd of peopl e had st ayed i n t he bed. How many peopl e had had sex i n i t ? She t hought about school , and how Gal e and Dar by wer e such t ot al bi t ches. Why di d t hey l eave whenever she ent er ed a r oom? Wer e t hey j eal ous of her somehow? Not l i kel y. Di d t hey secr et l y l i ke her af t er al l ? I t di dn' t mat t er anyway. They wer e al ways l aughi ng wi t h t hei r per f ect f r i ends. They never i nvi t ed her t o par t i es; i t was a f l uke she ended up at t hi s one. But l i f e was pr obabl y har d f or t hem t oo, i n i t s own way. I t al ways i s. Di d t hey suspect she t hought about t hem so much? Di t a l ooked ar ound t he f r ont yar d. The l awn r emi nded her of her mot her . Bar f . Par t of her , a l ar ger par t t han she car ed t o admi t , want ed t o smash i t . Nobody was i n t he l i br ar y, so Vi vi anna f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. The mahogany wor k desk caught her eye. She t hought i t was t he ugl i est t hi ng she' d ever seen. She hear d a noi se f r om somewher e el se i n t he house.
Dar by f ound Phi l omena i n t he bat hr oom. Dar by avoi ded Phi l omena. Nobody was i n t he gar age, so Ki ah f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. The next t hi ng she saw was t he BMW, whi ch l ef t her f eel i ng di squi et ed. She di dn' t gi ve i t a second t hought . Phi l omena ent er ed t he bat hr oom. Dar by was t her e, as i f wai t i ng. " what i s t he best phone t r acker app?" Phi l omena asked. " Googl e Now suggest s I r ead an ar t i cl e on why t he Nexus 5. " Af t er some t i me, Phi l omena f ound her sel f i n t he bat hr oom. She not i ced t he naut i cal t hemed shower cur t ai n. Ki nda t acky. She hear d a noi se f r om somewher e el se i n t he house. Dar by wal k ed i nt o t he gr eat hal l and saw Ki ah. Gr eat . Dar by avoi ded Ki ah. She t hought about Ki ah. Ki ah and t hat ost ent at i ous wat ch of her s. She hat ed her so damn muc h. She want ed t hat wat ch. Not hi ng el se woul d do. Just t hi nki ng about i t made her want t o puke. As Ki ah ent er ed t he gr eat hal l , she saw Dar by maki ng t r oubl e. Ki ah st ar ed at Dar by suspi ci ous l y. Gal e and Vi vi anna r an i nt o each ot her i n t he l i br ar y. Gal e pl ayed ner vousl y wi t h her shi r t i n a successf ul bi d t o avoi d t al ki ng t o Vi vi anna. Vi vi anna and Gal e r an i nt o each ot her i n t he l i br ar y. " Why woul d you want a f at head of your sel f ?" Vi vi anna i nqui r ed. Gal e squi r med. " because I br ought i n pi ne needl es. " Nobody was i n t he l i vi ng r oom, so Di t a f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. Di t a t ur ned on t he TV f or a whi l e. Ki ah ent er ed t he l i br ar y t o f i nd Gal e st andi ng t her e. " Wher e di d you get t hat ski r t , Gal e?" Gal e i gnor ed her . As Gal e ent er ed t he l i br ar y, she s aw Ki ah maki ng t r oubl e. Gal e st ar ed at Ki ah
suspi ci ous l y. She t hought about Ki ah. I t was al most t oo much t o deal wi t h. Maybe i f t hey coul d j ust be r eal wi t h each ot her f or once. . . Just t hi nki ng about i t made her want t o puke. Why di d she come t o t hi s st upi d house par t y i n t he f i r st pl ace? Nobody was i n t he l i vi ng r oom, so Di t a f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. She not i c ed t he cof f ee t abl e. Ki nda t acky. She was hopi ng i t woul d di st r act her , i f f or some br i ef moment , f r om her l i f e. She t hought about school , and how Dar by and Gal e di dn' t have t o t r y har d t o be l i ked. Wer e t hey j eal ous of her somehow? Not l i kel y. Di d t hey secr et l y l i ke her af t er al l ? I t di dn' t mat t er anyway. They never i nvi t ed her t o par t i es; i t was a f l uke she ended up at t hi s one. They al ways got t hey want ed. Al ways. But l i f e was pr obabl y har d f or t hem t oo, i n i t s own way. I t al ways i s. Vi vi anna l ooked ar ound t he f oyer . Vi vi anna debat ed j ust l eavi ng t he house. Dar by ent er ed t he bat hr oom. The f r amed phot o of a f i sh caught her eye. She t hought i t was t he ugl i es t t hi ng she' d ever seen. She hear d a noi se f r om s omewher e el se i n t he house. She t hought about school , and how Vi vi anna and Ki ah di dn' t have t o t r y har d t o be l i ked. Wer e t hey j eal ous of her somehow? Not l i kel y. How coul d t hat even be possi bl e? They wer e queen bees and t hey knew i t . But l i f e was pr obabl y har d f or t hem t oo, i n i t s own way. I t al ways i s. Di d t hey suspect she t hought about t hem so muc h? Ki ah l ooked ar ound t he l i br ar y. The mahogany wor k desk c aught her eye. She t hought i t was t he ugl i est t hi ng she' d ever seen. She di dn' t gi ve i t a second t hought . Gal e ent er ed t he gr eat hal l t o f i nd Phi l omena st andi ng t her e. Gal e avoi ded Phi l omena. Di t a br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n s i ght s of t he l i vi ng r oom. " Wow, check out t hat f l at scr een TV, " she s ai d t o no one i n par t i cul ar . Thi ngs. The house was f ul l of t hi ngs. When she got ol d enough t o have a house, she' d own not hi ng. She t hought about school , and how Ki ah and Vi vi anna t hought t hey wer e so muc h bet t er t han ever yone el se. Wer e t hey j eal ous of her somehow? Not l i kel y. They never i nvi t ed her t o par t i es; i t was a f l uke she ended up at t hi s one. The f oyer was empt y. Fi nal l y, Vi vi anna t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. Vi vi anna
debat ed j ust l eavi ng t he house. She t hought about school , and how Di t a and Gal e wer e such t ot al bi t ches. Why di d t hey l eave whenever she ent er ed a r oom? Di d t hey sec r et l y l i ke her af t er al l ? I t di dn' t mat t er anyway. They wal ked ar ound t he school l i ke t hey owned t he pl ace. Di d t hey suspec t she t hought about t hem so much? Nobody was i n t he mast er bat hr oom, so Phi l omena f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. She not i ced t he bl onde ony x count er t op. Ki nda t acky. Par t of her , a l ar ger par t t han she car ed t o admi t , want ed t o smash i t . Di t a ent er ed t he l i vi ng r oom. Di t a t ur ned on t he TV f or a whi l e. She t hought about school , and how Ki ah and Phi l omena had mor e money t han she di d. Why di d t hey l eave whenever she ent er ed a r oom? Di d t hey secr et l y l i ke her af t er al l ? I t di dn' t mat t er anyway. They never i nvi t ed her t o par t i es; i t was a f l uke she ended up at t hi s one. They al ways got t hey want ed. Al ways. Af t er some t i me, Vi vi anna f ound her sel f i n t he f r ont yar d. The t r ee caught her eye. She t hought i t was t he ugl i est t hi ng she' d ever seen. She wi shed t he booze woul d ki ck i n. " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he l i br ar y al l t o mysel f , " t hought Ki ah. Ki ah t r i ed and f ai l ed t o open t he l ock on t he desk. Di t a ent er ed t he f r ont yar d. She not i ced t he t r ee. Ki nda t acky. Par t of her , a l ar ger par t t han she car ed t o admi t , want ed t o smash i t . Vi vi anna l ooked ar ound t he l i vi ng r oom. She dut i f ul l y avoi ded t he cof f ee t abl e out of some pr i mal r espect f or i t s ot her ness. Par t of her , a l ar ger par t t han she car ed t o admi t , want ed t o smash i t . Af t er some t i me, Ki ah f ound her sel f i n t he gr eat hal l . Ki ah st ar ed down t he hal l , whi ch seemed l onger t han i t had any r i ght t o be. She t hought about Di t a. She want ed t hat sweat er . Not hi ng el se woul d do. I t was al most t oo much t o deal wi t h. Why di d ever yone want t o be l i ke her ? Why di d she come t o t hi s st upi d house par t y i n t he f i r st pl ace? Gal e l ook ed ar ound t he l i br ar y. The mahogany wor k desk c aught her eye. She t hought i t
was t he ugl i est t hi ng she' d ever seen. She hear d a noi se f r om somewher e el se i n t he house. The mast er bedr oom hel d t wo i t ems of i nt er est t o Dar by: t he ki ng si zed bed and Phi l omena. " Why woul d you do somet hi ng you don' t want peopl e t o f i nd out about ?" asked Dar by. " because i t hought i woul d have t o never see u agai n but hay i f you t r y t o pul l somet hi ng your goi ng j ai l cops ar e t her e, " sai d Phi l omena. Vi vi anna ent er ed t he f r ont yar d. Vi vi anna r an her f i nger s t hr ough t he wel l mani cur ed gr ass, dr eami ng of bet t er days. She t hought about Ki ah. Ki ah and t hat ost ent at i ous wat ch of her s. She want ed t hat wat ch. Not hi ng el se woul d do. Why coul dn' t she be mor e l i ke her ? Nobody r eal l y knew how she f el t . Why di d ever yone want t o be l i ke her ? Why di d she come t o t hi s st upi d house par t y i n t he f i r st pl ac e? Phi l omena ent er ed t he gr eat hal l t o f i nd Ki ah st andi ng t her e. " why do you need t o quest i on t hi ngs?" i nqui r ed Phi l omena. " because I act ual l y l augh at t hat quest i on ever y t i me, " sai d Ki ah. Phi l omena br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he bat hr oom. Phi l omena r el i eved her sel f . She t hought about Phi l omena. Phi l omena and t hat cr i mson phone of her s. She want ed t hat scar f . Not hi ng el se woul d do. Just t hi nki ng about i t made her want t o puke. Why di d she come t o t hi s st upi d house par t y i n t he f i r st pl ace? Di t a ent er ed t he l i br ar y t o f i nd Gal e st andi ng t her e. " Wher e di d you get t hat ski r t , Gal e?" Gal e i gnor ed her . Dar by ent er ed t he mast er bedr oom t o f i nd Ki ah st andi ng t her e. Dar by st ar ed at Ki ah suspi ci ous l y. She t hought about s chool , and how Ki ah and Vi vi anna got bet t er gr ades t han her . Why di d t hey l eave whenever she ent er ed a r oom? Wer e t hey j eal ous of her somehow? Not l i kel y. Di d t hey secr et l y l i ke her af t er al l ? I t di dn' t mat t er anyway. They wer e queen bees and t hey k new i t . They never i nvi t ed her t o par t i es; i t was a f l uke she ended up
at t hi s one. They al ways got t hey want ed. Al ways. Gal e ent er ed t he l i br ar y t o f i nd Di t a st andi ng t her e. " Wher e di d you get t hat sweat er , Di t a?" Di t a i gnor ed her . " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he gr eat hal l al l t o mysel f , " t hought Phi l omena. Phi l omena st ar ed down t he hal l , whi ch seemed l onger t han i t had any r i ght t o be. " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he f r ont yar d al l t o mysel f , " t hought Vi vi anna. Vi vi anna r an her f i nger s t hr ough t he wel l mani c ur ed gr ass, dr eami ng of bet t er days. Dar by encount er ed Ki ah i n t he mast er bat hr oom. Dar by pl ayed ner vousl y wi t h her shi r t i n a successf ul bi d t o avoi d t al ki ng t o Ki ah. She t hought about school , and how Ki ah and Vi vi anna had mor e money t han she di d. Why di d t hey l eave whenever she ent er ed a r oom? Wer e t hey j eal ous of her somehow? Not l i kel y. How coul d t hat even be possi bl e? Di d t hey secr et l y l i ke her af t er al l ? I t di dn' t mat t er anyway. They wer e al ways l aughi ng wi t h t hei r per f ect f r i ends. They never i nvi t ed her t o par t i es; i t was a f l uke she ended up at t hi s one. But l i f e was pr obabl y har d f or t hem t oo, i n i t s own way. I t al ways i s. Gal e encount er ed Di t a i n t he l i br ar y. Gal e st ar ed at Di t a suspi ci ousl y. Nobody was i n t he bat hr oom, so Phi l omena f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. Phi l omena l ooked ar ound f or t ampons, f i ndi ng none. She t hought about Gal e. Nobody r eal l y knew how she f el t . Why di d s he come t o t hi s st upi d house par t y i n t he f i r st pl ace? Nobody was i n t he mast er bat hr oom, so Dar by f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. She st ar ed at t he bl onde onyx f l oor i ng uncompr ehendi ngl y. Par t of her , a l ar ger par t t han she car ed t o admi t , want ed t o smash i t . " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he mast er bedr oom al l t o mysel f , " t hought Ki ah. She not i ced t he ki ng si zed bed. Ki nda t acky. Why she not i ced i n t he f i r st pl ace was beyond her . Gal e l ook ed ar ound t he l i br ar y. The bookshel f caught her eye. She t hought i t was t he ugl i est t hi ng she' d ever seen. She hear d a noi se f r om somewher e el se i n t he hous e.
Af t er some t i me, Phi l omena f ound her sel f i n t he bat hr oom. Phi l omena was af r ai d, as she al ways was, t hat a mur der er l ay i n ambush behi nd t he shower cur t ai n. Di t a l ooked ar ound t he gr eat hal l . The next t hi ng she saw was t he t r i bal Af ghan r ug, whi ch l ef t her f eel i ng di squi et ed. She hear d a noi se f r om somewher e el se i n t he house. Af t er some t i me, Vi vi anna f ound her sel f i n t he f r ont yar d. Vi vi anna r an her f i nger s t hr ough t he wel l mani cur ed gr ass, dr eami ng of bet t er days. Af t er some t i me, Gal e f ound her sel f i n t he f oyer . The si de t abl e r emi nded her of her mot her . Bar f . Thi ngs. The house was f ul l of t hi ngs. When she got ol d enough t o have a house, she' d own not hi ng. The f r ont y ar d was empt y. Fi nal l y, Vi vi anna t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. Vi vi anna st ar t ed t o cl i mb t he t r ee, t hen t hought bet t er of i t . Nobody was i n t he l i vi ng r oom, so Gal e f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. She dut i f ul l y avoi ded t he f l at scr een TV out of some pr i mal r espect f or i t s ot her ness. She di dn' t gi ve i t a second t hought . She t hought about school , and how Di t a and Gal e never t al ked t o her . Why di d t hey l eave whenever she ent er ed a r oom? Wer e t hey j eal ous of her somehow? Not l i kel y. They wer e al ways l aughi ng wi t h t hei r per f ect f r i ends. They wal ked ar ound t he school l i ke t hey owned t he pl ace. Di d t hey suspect she t hought about t hem so much? Ki ah ent er ed t he mast er bat hr oom. Dar by was t her e, as i f wai t i ng. " What ' s t he best t wi t t er app f or i Phone?" Ki ah asked. Dar by si ghed. " THI S I S . " Phi l omena ent er ed t he gr eat hal l . The next t hi ng she saw was t he f ami l y por t r ai t , whi ch l ef t her f eel i ng di squi et ed. Why she not i ced i n t he f i r st pl ace was beyond her . Nobody was i n t he guest bedr oom, so Di t a f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. She dut i f ul l y avoi ded t he post er of a. . . Monet ? out of some pr i mal r espect f or i t s ot her ness. Thi ngs. The house was f ul l of t hi ngs. When she got ol d enough t o have a house, she' d own
not hi ng. " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he f r ont yar d al l t o mysel f , " t hought Vi vi anna. Vi vi anna st ar t ed t o cl i mb t he t r ee, t hen t hought bet t er of i t . Gal e l ook ed ar ound t he l i vi ng r oom. The f l at scr een TV r emi nded her of her mot her . Bar f . Thi ngs. The house was f ul l of t hi ngs. When she got ol d enough t o have a house, she' d own not hi ng. As Ki ah ent er ed t he mast er bedr oom, she saw Dar by maki ng t r oubl e. " why do you have t o be 42 day s 11 hour s 40 mi nut es and 29 seconds away
?"
Dar by beamed. " because I have so many f r ee mi nut es and t ext s i t woul d be a wast e not t o use t hem. " Di t a ent er ed t he gr eat hal l . Ki ah was t her e, as i f wai t i ng. " Wher e di d you get t hat wat ch, Ki ah?" Ki ah i gnor ed her . Nobody was i n t he f r ont yar d, so Vi vi anna f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at eas e. Vi vi anna r an her f i nger s t hr ough t he wel l mani cur ed gr ass, dr eami ng of bet t er day s. Ki ah and Dar by r an i nt o each ot her i n t he gr eat hal l . Ki ah pl ayed ner vousl y wi t h her wat ch i n a success f ul bi d t o avoi d t al ki ng t o Dar by. Af t er some t i me, Gal e f ound her sel f i n t he l i vi ng r oom. Gal e bounced on t he sof a, hopi ng t o r ecapt ur e her chi l dhood i nnocence. Phi l omena f ound Di t a i n t he gr eat hal l . Phi l omena l ooked concer ned. " Why woul d you l et some l i ve who al most st abbed you and your ki ds t o deat h?" she demanded. Di t a squi r med. " because i st abbed my br ot her mul t i pl e t i mes i n hi s st upi d f ucki ng f ace. " Phi l omena br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he guest bedr oom. Phi l omena guessed t hat t hi s was t he most bor i ng r oom i n t he house. Vi vi anna ent er ed t he l i v i ng r oom. She not i ced t he cof f ee t abl e. Ki nda t acky. Why s he
not i c ed i n t he f i r st pl ace was beyond her . She t hought about school , and how Dar by and Ki ah di dn' t have t o t r y har d t o be l i ked. They wer e al ways l aughi ng wi t h t hei r per f ect f r i ends. They al ways got t hey want ed. Al ways. But l i f e was pr obabl y har d f or t hem t oo, i n i t s own way. I t al ways i s. Di d t hey suspec t she t hought about t hem so much? Ki ah l ooked ar ound t he gr eat hal l . Ki ah st ar ed down t he hal l , whi ch seemed l onger t han i t had any r i ght t o be. Af t er some t i me, Gal e f ound her sel f i n t he f r ont yar d. Gal e st ar t ed t o cl i mb t he t r ee, t hen t hought bet t er of i t . Di t a ent er ed t he bat hr oom t o f i nd Dar by st andi ng t her e. " What ' s t he best damn t hi ng you' ve l ucked i nt o?" Di t a asked. " My puppy. " As Di t a ent er ed t he gr eat hal l , she saw Phi l omena maki ng t r oubl e. Di t a pl ayed ner vousl y wi t h her s weat er i n a successf ul bi d t o avoi d t al ki ng t o Phi l omena. She t hought about school , and how Phi l omena and Vi vi anna wer e such t ot al bi t ches. Why di d t hey l eave whenever she ent er ed a r oom? Wer e t hey j eal ous of her somehow? Not l i kel y. How coul d t hat even be possi bl e? Di d t hey sec r et l y l i ke her af t er al l ? I t di dn' t mat t er anyway. They wer e al way s l aughi ng wi t h t hei r per f ect f r i ends. They never i nvi t ed her t o par t i es; i t was a f l uke she ended up at t hi s one. As Ki ah ent er ed t he gr eat hal l , she saw Phi l omena maki ng t r oubl e. Phi l omena st i f f ened and began t o r ambl e, not not i ci ng Ki ah, as i f i n a f ugue st at e. " I was cl eani ng my r oom and f ound a car d cover ed i n i nches of l i nt and dust . When I bl ew on i t , i t f l ew up and cl ogged up my nose. " Gal e wal ked i nt o t he f oyer and saw Vi vi anna. Gr eat . Vi v i anna was cr yi ng. Gal e act ed on i nst i nct . " Tel l me al l about i t . " she sai d. Vi vi anna obl i ged i n an unbecomi ng out pour i ng. " I was st ayi ng wi t h Pat r i ck f or t he summer . I t wasn' t hi s house, t hough. I t was way out i n t he mi ddl e of nowher e, and hi s par ent s wer en' t ar ound. He coul d dr i ve ( he backed out of t he dr i veway at 50 mph) , but we bot h r ode mount ai n bi kes t o some di ml y l i t st or e wher e he want ed t o buy a wooden model ai r pl ane. I t was a l ong dr eam, but i n most of i t I seemed t o be changi ng cl ot hes. I woul d j ust get out of bed and
change f r om sl eepwear t o nor mal cl ot hes, or vi ce ver sa. I had a br oken l eg. " Nobody was i n t he guest bedr oom, so Phi l omena f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. The set of cur t ai ns r emi nded her of her mot her . Bar f . She wi shed t he booze woul d ki ck i n. Af t er some t i me, Dar by f ound her sel f i n t he gr eat hal l . " Wow, check out t hat f ami l y por t r ai t , " she sai d t o no one i n par t i cul ar . Why she not i ced i n t he f i r st pl ace was beyond her . As Ki ah ent er ed t he mast er bedr oom, she saw Di t a maki ng t r oubl e. Di t a st i f f ened and began t o r ambl e, not not i ci ng Ki ah, as i f i n a f ugue st at e. " I was a Car ebear f r om t he show " Car ebear s" and my Car ebear f r i ends and I wer e r i di ng ar ound on r ai nbows and havi ng a good t i me. Suddenl y t he l eader of t he car ebear s got r eal l y mad at me f or no r eason and t ol d me I was bani shed. I hadn' t done anyt hi ng, so I di dn' t l eave. When he f ound out , he was goi ng t o put me i n j ai l , but I got away bef or e he coul d. " Gal e encount er ed Vi vi anna i n t he l i vi ng r oom. Gal e pl ayed ner vousl y wi t h her ski r t i n a successf ul bi d t o avoi d t al ki ng t o Vi vi anna. Phi l omena br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he gr eat hal l . Phi l omena st ar ed down t he hal l , whi ch seemed l onger t han i t had any r i ght t o be. She t hought about school , and how Di t a and Phi l omena wer e such t ot al bi t ches. Why di d t hey l eave whenever she ent er ed a r oom? How coul d t hat even be possi bl e? Di d t hey secr et l y l i ke her af t er al l ? I t di dn' t mat t er anyway. They wer e queen bees and t hey knew i t . They al ways got t hey want ed. Al ways. But l i f e was pr obabl y har d f or t hem t oo, i n i t s own way. I t al ways i s. Nobody was i n t he guest bedr oom, so Dar by f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. She dut i f ul l y avoi ded t he set of cur t ai ns out of some pr i mal r espect f or i t s ot her nes s . She was hopi ng i t woul d di s t r act her , i f f or some br i ef moment , f r om her l i f e. Ki ah l ooked ar ound t he mast er bedr oom. She st ar ed at t he t eak dr esser uncompr ehendi ngl y. She wi shed t he booze woul d ki ck i n. Gal e ent er ed t he l i vi ng r oom t o f i nd Vi vi anna st andi ng t her e. " What ' s your f avour i t e song t o
smoke t o?" asked Gal e. " al most nev er enough i s , " sai d Vi v i anna. Af t er some t i me, Phi l omena f ound her sel f i n t he l i br ar y. The next t hi ng she saw was t he mahogany wor k desk, whi ch l ef t her f eel i ng di squi et ed. Why she not i ced i n t he f i r s t pl ace was beyond her . Vi vi anna br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he di ni ng r oom. She not i ced t he si l ver war e. Ki nda t acky. Thi ngs. The house was f ul l of t hi ngs. When she got ol d enough t o hav e a house, she' d own not hi ng. Dar by l ook ed ar ound t he gr eat hal l . The f ami l y por t r ai t caught her eye. She t hought i t was t he ugl i es t t hi ng she' d ever seen. She was hopi ng i t woul d di st r act her , i f f or some br i ef moment , f r om her l i f e. Gal e br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he f oyer . " Wow, check out t hat si de t abl e, " she sai d t o no one i n par t i c ul ar . Par t of her , a l ar ger par t t han she car ed t o admi t , want ed t o smash i t . As Di t a ent er ed t he mast er bat hr oom, she saw Ki ah maki ng t r oubl e. Di t a st ar ed at Ki ah suspi ci ous l y. Vi vi anna br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he ki t chen. Vi vi anna checked t he f r i dge f or snac ks. The gr eat hal l was empt y. Fi nal l y, Dar by t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. Dar by st ar ed down t he hal l , whi ch seemed l onger t han i t had any r i ght t o be. Gal e wal k ed i nt o t he l i br ar y and saw Phi l omena. Gr eat . " What i s your f avor i t e snack?" Gal e asked. Phi l omena l aughed. " Snow wi t h mapl e syr up. " Af t er some t i me, Vi vi anna f ound her sel f i n t he br eakf ast nook. Vi vi anna dr ank some j ui ce,
f uck i t , r i ght ? Whose house even was t hi s? " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he guest bedr oom al l t o mysel f , " t hought Dar by. She st ar ed at t he set of cur t ai ns uncompr ehendi ngl y. Why she not i ced i n t he f i r st pl ace was beyond her . Gal e wal k ed i nt o t he gr eat hal l and saw Phi l omena. Gr eat . " Wher e di d you get t hat scar f , Phi l omena?" Phi l omena i gnor ed her . Phi l omena and Gal e r an i nt o each ot her i n t he gr eat hal l . Phi l omena appear ed cr oss. " What i s t he best wi ne t hat woul d go wi t h Tur key?" she asked. Gal e si ghed. " Cooper s Hawks cr anber r y wi ne. " Di t a and Ki ah r an i nt o each ot her i n t he mast er bedr oom. The mast er bedr oom hel d t wo i t ems of i nt er est t o Ki ah: t he ki ng si zed bed and Di t a. " why woul d you al l me?" Di t a r ecoi l ed. " because i want t o but have no i nt er est t o wat ch anyt hi ng al l i do i s l i st en t o musi c. " Phi l omena l ooked ar ound t he mast er bedr oom. She dut i f ul l y avoi ded t he ki ng si zed bed out of some pr i mal r espect f or i t s ot her ness. Par t of her , a l ar ger par t t han she car ed t o admi t , want ed t o smas h i t . Di t a ent er ed t he gr eat hal l t o f i nd Dar by st andi ng t her e. Di t a eyed Dar by' s ost ent at i ous shi r t wi t h envy. She t hought about school , and how Dar by and Di t a di dn' t have t o t r y har d t o be l i ked. Why di d t hey l eave whenever she ent er ed a r oom? Di d t hey secr et l y l i ke her af t er al l ? I t di dn' t mat t er any way. They wal ked ar ound t he school l i ke t hey owned t he pl ace. They never i nvi t ed her t o par t i es; i t was a f l uke she ended up at t hi s one. They al ways got t hey want ed. Al ways. But l i f e was pr obabl y har d f or t hem t oo, i n i t s own way. I t al ways i s. Vi vi anna ent er ed t he ki t chen. She st ar ed at t he oven uncompr ehendi ngl y. Par t of her , a l ar ger par t t han she car ed t o admi t , want ed t o smash i t . Dar by ent er ed t he gr eat hal l . Di t a was t her e, as i f wai t i ng. Di t a was c r yi ng. Dar by act ed on i ns t i nct . " Tel l me al l about i t . " she
sai d. Di t a obl i ged i n an unbecomi ng out pour i ng. " Al l I r emember i s t hat I was i n t hi s ni ce bi g ol d medi eval cast l e, wi t h st one wal l s and ever yt hi ng, and I was havi ng a r eal l y ni ce bi g f east . I al so r emember somet hi ng br i ef l y about a pi g. " " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he l i br ar y al l t o mysel f , " t hought Gal e. Gal e f l i pped t hr ough some books. As Phi l omena ent er ed t he gr eat hal l , she saw Dar by maki ng t r oubl e. Phi l omena st ar ed at Dar by suspi ci ousl y. Af t er some t i me, Di t a f ound her sel f i n t he bat hr oom. Di t a j i ggl ed t he t oi l et handl e. Nobody was i n t he br eakf ast nook , so Vi vi anna f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. Vi vi anna dr ank some j ui ce, f uck i t , r i ght ? Whose house even was t hi s? Dar by f ound Phi l omena i n t he gr eat hal l . Dar by avoi ded Phi l omena. Gal e l ook ed ar ound t he l i br ar y. Gal e f l i pped t hr ough some books. She t hought about Di t a. Di t a and t hat i ncr edi bl e phone of her s. She l i ked her so damn much. She want ed t hat phone. Not hi ng el se woul d do. I t was al most t oo much t o deal wi t h. Maybe i f t hey coul d j ust be r eal wi t h each ot her f or once. . . Why di d ever yone want t o be l i ke her ? Why di d s he come t o t hi s st upi d house par t y i n t he f i r st pl ace? Phi l omena f ound Ki ah i n t he mast er bedr oom. Phi l omena pl ayed ner vousl y wi t h her scar f i n a success f ul bi d t o avoi d t al ki ng t o Ki ah. Nobody was i n t he ki t c hen, so Vi vi anna f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. Vi vi anna chec ked t he f r i dge f or snacks. She t hought about school , and how Ki ah and Vi vi anna never t al ked t o her . How coul d t hat even be possi bl e? They wal ked ar ound t he school l i k e t hey owned t he pl ace. They never i nvi t ed her t o par t i es; i t was a f l uke she ended up at t hi s one. But l i f e was pr obabl y har d f or t hem t oo, i n i t s own way. I t al ways i s. Di d t hey suspect she t hought about t hem so much? The mast er bedr oom hel d t wo i t ems of i nt er est t o Ki ah: t he ki ng si zed bed and Phi l omena. Ki ah st ar ed at Phi l omena suspi ci ousl y.
" Per f ect , I ' v e got t he f oyer al l t o mysel f , " t hought Gal e. The si de t abl e r emi nded her of her mot her . Bar f . She was hopi ng i t woul d di st r act her , i f f or some br i ef moment , f r om her l i f e. Phi l omena l ooked ar ound t he mast er bedr oom. The ki ng si zed bed r emi nded her of her mot her . Bar f . Thi ngs. The house was f ul l of t hi ngs. When she got ol d enough t o have a house, she' d own not hi ng. " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he br eakf ast nook al l t o mysel f , " t hought Vi vi anna. The j ui cer r emi nded her of her mot her . Bar f . She hear d a noi se f r om somewher e el se i n t he house. She t hought about Gal e. She want ed t hat shi r t . Not hi ng el se woul d do. Just t hi nki ng about i t made her want t o puke. The gr eat hal l hel d t wo i t ems of i nt er est t o Dar by: t he t r i bal Af ghan r ug and Di t a. Dar by eyed Di t a' s i ncr edi bl e phone wi t h envy. " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he f oyer al l t o mysel f , " t hought Gal e. She st ar ed at t he si de t abl e uncompr ehendi ngl y. She was hopi ng i t woul d di st r act her , i f f or some br i ef moment , f r om her l i f e. Ki ah encount er ed Dar by i n t he gr eat hal l . " why woul d you c one at a whol e gr oup s of t l i ke t hat , and by ya sel f ?" i nqui r ed Ki ah. " because I was t he onl y chi l d f or my whol e chi l dhood, " sai d Dar by. Di t a ent er ed t he gr eat hal l . Dar by was t her e, as i f wai t i ng. " Wher e di d you get t hat coat , Dar by?" Dar by i gnor ed her . Vi vi anna l ooked ar ound t he br eak f ast nook. Vi vi anna dr ank some j ui ce, f uck i t , r i ght ? Whose house even was t hi s? Vi vi anna br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he ki t chen. Vi vi anna r i f l ed t hr ough t he cabi net s f or al cohol . Gal e encount er ed Dar by i n t he gr eat hal l . Gal e l ooked angr y. " What i s t he best par k i ng f or under $20; easy acces s t o 35?" she demanded.
Dar by si ghed. " The onl y good t hi ng about get t i ng t o school at 8 I s . " Di t a br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n s i ght s of t he f oyer . Di t a debat ed j ust l eavi ng t he house. Ki ah l ooked ar ound t he bat hr oom. Ki ah was af r ai d, as she al ways was, t hat a mur der er l ay i n ambush behi nd t he s hower cur t ai n. Gal e l ook ed ar ound t he guest bedr oom. " Wow, check out t hat set of cur t ai ns, " she sai d t o no one i n par t i cul ar . She wi shed t he booze woul d ki ck i n. Di t a ent er ed t he f oyer . The si de t abl e r emi nded her of her mot her . Bar f . She hear d a noi se f r om somewher e el se i n t he house. Af t er some t i me, Vi vi anna f ound her sel f i n t he br eakf ast nook. Vi vi anna dr ank some j ui ce, f uck i t , r i ght ? Whose house even was t hi s? Ki ah l ooked ar ound t he bat hr oom. The next t hi ng she saw was t he t oi l et , whi ch l ef t her f eel i ng di squi et ed. She hear d a noi se f r om somewher e el se i n t he house. Dar by encount er ed Phi l omena i n t he mast er bedr oom. Phi l omena wal ked i nt o t he gr eat hal l and saw Ki ah. Gr eat . Phi l omena eyed Ki ah' s f ashi onabl e pur se wi t h envy. Di t a br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n s i ght s of t he f oyer . The next t hi ng she saw was t he chandel i er , whi ch l ef t her f eel i ng di squi et ed. She was hopi ng i t woul d di st r act her , i f f or some br i ef moment , f r om her l i f e. Vi vi anna l ooked ar ound t he ki t chen. Vi vi anna checked t he f r i dge f or snacks. As Ki ah ent er ed t he gr eat hal l , she saw Dar by maki ng t r oubl e. Ki ah avoi ded Dar by. She t hought about school , and how Dar by and Di t a had mor e money t han she di d. How coul d t hat even be possi bl e? Di d t hey sec r et l y l i ke her af t er al l ? I t di dn' t mat t er anyway. They wal ked ar ound t he school l i ke t hey owned t he pl ace. They al ways got t hey want ed. Al ways. Di d t hey s uspect she t hought about t hem so much?
Gal e l ook ed ar ound t he guest bedr oom. The post er of a. . . Monet ? caught her eye. She t hought i t was t he ugl i est t hi ng she' d ever seen. She was hopi ng i t woul d di st r act her , i f f or some br i ef moment , f r om her l i f e. The f r ont y ar d was empt y. Fi nal l y, Di t a t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. Di t a s t ar t ed t o cl i mb t he t r ee, t hen t hought bet t er of i t . " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he br eakf ast nook al l t o mysel f , " t hought Vi vi anna. The next t hi ng she saw was t he t oast er , whi ch l ef t her f eel i ng di squi et ed. She di dn' t gi ve i t a second t hought . " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he l i br ar y al l t o mysel f , " t hought Ki ah. Ki ah f l i pped t hr ough some books. She t hought about Ki ah. She want ed t hat wat ch. Not hi ng el se woul d do. Why coul dn' t she be mor e l i ke her ? Maybe i f t hey coul d j ust be r eal wi t h each ot her f or once. . . Why di d ever yone want t o be l i ke her ? Jus t t hi nki ng about i t made her want t o puke. Why di d she come t o t hi s st upi d house par t y i n t he f i r st pl ace? " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he guest bedr oom al l t o mysel f , " t hought Gal e. Gal e i magi ned what ki nd of peopl e had st ayed i n t he bed. How many peopl e had had sex i n i t ? Nobody was i n t he ki t c hen, so Vi vi anna f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. Vi vi anna chec ked t he f r i dge f or snacks. Gal e encount er ed Phi l omena i n t he gr eat hal l . " Why woul d you be pl ayi ng a game whi l st sur f i ng t he web and be i n t he mi ddl e of wat chi ng a f i l m as wel l as wai t i ng f or ppl t o come onl i ne?" " because I have st ar t ed get t i ng i n t he Chr i st mas spi r i t by decor at i ng ear l y and wat chi ng hol i day movi es i n November , " sai d Phi l omena. Phi l omena br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he bat hr oom. Phi l omena l ooked ar ound f or t ampons, f i ndi ng none. Di t a l ooked ar ound t he f r ont yar d. Di t a r an her f i nger s t hr ough t he wel l mani cur ed gr ass, dr eami ng of bet t er days.
The ki t chen was empt y. Fi nal l y, Vi vi anna t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. " Wow, check out t hat kni f e set , " she sai d t o no one i n par t i cul ar . Why she not i ced i n t he f i r st pl ac e was beyond her . The gr eat hal l was empt y. Fi nal l y, Ki ah t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. Ki ah st ar ed down t he hal l , whi ch seemed l onger t han i t had any r i ght t o be. Gal e l ook ed ar ound t he guest bedr oom. The set of cur t ai ns r emi nded her of her mot her . Bar f . Par t of her , a l ar ger par t t han she car ed t o admi t , want ed t o smash i t . Phi l omena ent er ed t he bat hr oom. Ki ah was t her e, as i f wai t i ng. Phi l omena avoi ded Ki ah. Di t a l ooked ar ound t he f r ont yar d. Di t a r an her f i nger s t hr ough t he wel l mani cur ed gr ass, dr eami ng of bet t er days. The ki t chen was empt y. Fi nal l y, Vi vi anna t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. The oven caught her eye. She t hought i t was t he ugl i est t hi ng she' d ever seen. She wi shed t he booze woul d ki ck i n. The bat hr oom hel d t wo i t ems of i nt er est t o Ki ah: t he f r amed phot o of a f i sh and Phi l omena. Ki ah eyed Phi l omena' s cr i mson phone wi t h envy. Gal e l ook ed ar ound t he guest bedr oom. Gal e i magi ned what ki nd of peopl e had st ayed i n t he bed. How many peopl e had had sex i n i t ? Di t a br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n s i ght s of t he f r ont yar d. Di t a st ar t ed t o cl i mb t he t r ee, t hen t hought bet t er of i t . Ki ah wal k ed i nt o t he gr eat hal l and saw Dar by. Gr eat . Ki ah pl ayed ner vousl y wi t h her pur se i n a succes sf ul bi d t o avoi d t al ki ng t o Dar by. She t hought about Dar by. She l i ked her so damn muc h. She want ed t hat coat . Not hi ng el se woul d do. Why coul dn' t she be mor e l i ke her ? Nobody r eal l y knew how she f el t . Why di d ever yone want t o be l i ke her ? Nobody was i n t he guest bedr oom, so Gal e f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. The next t hi ng she saw was t he bed, whi ch l ef t her f eel i ng di squi et ed. Par t of her , a l ar ger par t
t han she car ed t o admi t , want ed t o smash i t . She t hought about school , and how Ki ah and Di t a wer e such t ot al bi t ches. How c oul d t hat even be possi bl e? They wer e al ways l aughi ng wi t h t hei r per f ect f r i ends. They wal k ed ar ound t he school l i k e t hey owned t he pl ace. They wer e queen bees and t hey knew i t . They never i nvi t ed her t o par t i es; i t was a f l uke she ended up at t hi s one. Phi l omena ent er ed t he l i br ar y. " Wow, check out t hat mahogany wor k desk, " she sai d t o no one i n par t i cul ar . Why she not i ced i n t he f i r st pl ace was beyond her . Af t er some t i me, Di t a f ound her sel f i n t he f r ont yar d. She dut i f ul l y avoi ded t he l awn out of some pr i mal r espect f or i t s ot her ness. Par t of her , a l ar ger par t t han she car ed t o admi t , want ed t o smash i t . She t hought about Gal e. Gal e and t hat aquamar i ne ski r t of her s. Maybe i f t hey coul d j ust be r eal wi t h each ot her f or once. . . Nobody r eal l y knew how she f el t . Why di d ev er yone want t o be l i ke her ? Why di d she come t o t hi s st upi d house par t y i n t he f i r st pl ace? Nobody was i n t he di ni ng r oom, so Vi vi anna f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. She not i c ed t he di ni ng r oom t abl e. Ki nda t acky. She di dn' t gi ve i t a second t hought . She t hought about Vi vi anna. She l i ked her so damn much. Why coul dn' t she be mor e l i ke her ? Gal e ent er ed t he guest bedr oom. " Wow, check out t hat set of cur t ai ns, " she sai d t o no one i n par t i cul ar . She hear d a noi se f r om somewher e el se i n t he house. Dar by encount er ed Ki ah i n t he gr eat hal l . " What ' s your f avor i t e t v show ( Real i t y) 16 and pr egnant , t een mom, gi r l code ( Wr i t t en on t he app) Fr i ends?" " Li zar d l i c k t owi ng. " " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he f oyer al l t o mysel f , " t hought Phi l omena. The next t hi ng she saw was t he chandel i er , whi ch l ef t her f eel i ng di squi et ed. Par t of her , a l ar ger par t t han she car ed t o admi t , want ed t o smas h i t . The l i vi ng r oom was empt y. Fi nal l y, Di t a t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. Di t a t ur ned on t he TV f or a whi l e. Ki ah ent er ed t he gr eat hal l t o f i nd Gal e st andi ng t her e. " Gal e, what
di d y ou dr eam about l ast ni ght ?" as ked Ki ah. Gal e seemed war y, but her f ace sof t ened. " I was wal ki ng down an al l ey when I came t o a cor ner ont o a bi g st r eet . On t he cor ner i nsi de a bi g door a gi r l and boy wer e maki ng a mat t r ess. The gi r l hat ed me but t he boy was my f r i end and he came out t o t al k wi t h me. Then he hel d a model hel i copt er above hi s head and s t ar t ed t o f l y, so I f ol l owed hi m. Then we sat on a r i dge comi ng out of a bui l di ng. He sai d he coul d f l y l i ke me now but not wi t hout t he hel i copt er . Al l of a sudden t he r i dge we wer e on br oke, and we f el l . Then f ur t her down t he st r eet I saw a l ady i n a busi ness sui t comi ng t owar ds us. I st ar t ed t o r un, but she was abl e t o cat ch me. I t r i ed t o get away by f l yi ng but she was hol di ng ont o me so t i ght I coul d har dl y get of f t he gr ound. Then she t ook me t o a st or e t hat r emi nded me of Kor ea. Then she sai d I c oul d have anyt hi ng I want ed but I r ef used. Then t he peopl e f r om t he nor t h came by and got me away f r om t he l ady and t ook me ski i ng i n some odd appar el . " Gal e ent er ed t he gr eat hal l t o f i nd Ki ah st andi ng t her e. Ki ah l ooked di r ect l y at Gal e. " I had t he wei r dest dr eam, " she sai d. " A mal e nar r at or sai d t hat women become i nf at uat ed wi t h men who don' t l ove t hem. I saw a bl ack and whi t e pi ct ur e of s ever al coupl es wi t h t he f emal e beami ng and t he mal e wi t h an uneasy l ook on hi s f ace. " Phi l omena f ound Vi vi anna i n t he l i vi ng r oom. " Wher e di d you get t hat sweat er , Vi vi anna?" Vi vi anna i gnor ed her . Di t a br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n s i ght s of t he di ni ng r oom. She not i ced t he di ni ng r oom t abl e. Ki nda t acky. She wi shed t he booze woul d ki ck i n. Vi vi anna wal ked i nt o t he l i vi ng r oom and saw Phi l omena. Gr eat . Vi vi anna pl ayed ner vousl y wi t h her bel t i n a successf ul bi d t o avoi d t al ki ng t o Phi l omena. Nobody was i n t he guest bedr oom, so Dar by f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. Dar by guessed t hat t hi s was t he most bor i ng r oom i n t he house. Phi l omena ent er ed t he l i vi ng r oom. Phi l omena bounced on t he sof a, hopi ng t o r ecapt ur e her chi l dhood i nnocence. She t hought about school , and how Phi l omena and Vi vi anna had mor e money t han she di d. Why di d t hey l eave whenever she ent er ed a r oom? How coul d t hat even be possi bl e? They never i nvi t ed her t o par t i es; i t was a f l uke she ended up at t hi s
one. " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he f r ont yar d al l t o mysel f , " t hought Vi vi anna. Vi vi anna st ar t ed t o cl i mb t he t r ee, t hen t hought bet t er of i t . Gal e wal k ed i nt o t he gr eat hal l and saw Dar by. Gr eat . Gal e st ar ed at Dar by suspi c i ousl y. " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he l i vi ng r oom al l t o mysel f , " t hought Phi l omena. Phi l omena bounced on t he sof a, hopi ng t o r ecapt ur e her chi l dhood i nnocence. The back y ar d was empt y. Fi nal l y, Di t a t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. The l awn f ur ni t ur e r emi nded her of her mot her . Bar f . Thi ngs. The house was f ul l of t hi ngs. When she got ol d enough t o have a house, s he' d own not hi ng. Vi vi anna br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he f r ont yar d. " Wow, check out t hat t r ee, " she sai d t o no one i n par t i cul ar . She was hopi ng i t woul d di st r act her , i f f or some br i ef moment , f r om her l i f e. Ki ah ent er ed t he mast er bedr oom. She not i ced t he t eak dr esser . Ki nda t acky. She hear d a noi se f r om somewher e el se i n t he house. Gal e br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he l i br ar y. The bookshel f r emi nded her of her mot her . Bar f . She di dn' t gi ve i t a second t hought . Phi l omena ent er ed t he f oyer . Phi l omena debat ed j ust l eavi ng t he house. The ki t chen was empt y. Fi nal l y, Di t a t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. Di t a r i f l ed t hr ough t he cabi net s f or al cohol . Vi vi anna br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he gar age. The BMW r emi nded her of her mot her . Bar f . She di dn' t gi ve i t a second t hought . She t hought about Dar by. Why coul dn' t she be mor e l i ke her ? Why di d she come t o t hi s st upi d house par t y i n t he f i r st pl ace? Nobody was i n t he guest bedr oom, so Dar by f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. " Wow, check out t hat set of cur t ai ns, " she sai d t o no one i n par t i cul ar . She wi shed t he
booze woul d ki ck i n. Gal e ent er ed t he l i br ar y . Gal e t r i ed and f ai l ed t o open t he l ock on t he desk. " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he l i br ar y al l t o mysel f , " t hought Phi l omena. Phi l omena f l i pped t hr ough some book s. Di t a br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n s i ght s of t he ki t chen. Di t a r i f l ed t hr ough t he cabi net s f or al cohol . Dar by and Gal e r an i nt o each ot her i n t he gr eat hal l . " Dr eams, " Dar by sai d. " Tel l me about y our dr eams . " Gal e al most sai d not hi ng, but t hought bet t er of i t . " When i t st ar t ed we wer e at some sor t of par t y. Al l t he ki ds f r om my cl ass wer e t her e, al t hough I di dn' t see t hem al l . I j ust knew t hey wer e t her e. Al l t he t eacher s wer e t her e t oo. I can' t r emember what went on f or a whi l e, but t hen St eve t ol d Mel i ssa t o shar e what happened t o her . She sai d, " No, t hat ' s al l r i ght . I don' t r eal l y have t o. " St eve and Todd t ol d her she had t o. So she t ol d ever yone s he passed her mat h ex am and ever yone appl auded. The somehow i t was Ni na who had t ol d t he news, and t ear s c ame t o her eyes and she went r unni ng t o t he bat hr oom, and Cour t ney and I f ol l owed. When we got t her e, she had l ocked her sel f i n t he st al l . I sai d, " Ni na, why ar e you cr yi ng? You passed your mat h exam! " And she sai d, " Get away f r om me, you f at , ugl y bi t ch. " Anne had al so come i n t he bat hr oom i n t i me t o hear t hi s, and she wal ked t o t he st al l , unl ocked i t , and went i n. Then Jul i a went i n t oo. I don' t r emember what happened, but a l ot of t he 7t h gr ader s came i n, i ncl udi ng Anna. For some r eason we wer e t hr owi ng a t omat o ar ound t he r oom and i t bounced of f Anna' s shoul der . She was wor r i ed t hat she' d smashed i t , but Ni na sai d, " Don' t wor r y, you' r e not f at l i ke Hi l ar y. " I can' t r emember what happened af t er t hat . I t hi nk I woke up, but t he dr eam cont i nued f or a mi nut e, t hen changed. " Gal e and Dar by r an i nt o each ot her i n t he gr eat hal l . " why woul d you ever f uck i t up?" Gal e asked. " Because i ' m t he onl y one who ever does anyt hi ng, but i t s not appr eci at ed, and nei t her am I , " sai d Dar by. Phi l omena l ooked ar ound t he gr eat hal l . Phi l omena t ook of f her shoes, got a r unni ng st ar t ,
a sl i d i n her socks down t he sl i ck har dwood f l oor s. Di t a br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n s i ght s of t he back yar d. She not i ced t he l awn f ur ni t ur e. Ki nda t acky. Why she not i ced i n t he f i r st pl ace was beyond her . Vi vi anna ent er ed t he f r ont yar d. Vi vi anna r an her f i nger s t hr ough t he wel l mani cur ed gr ass, dr eami ng of bet t er days. She t hought about Di t a. Di t a and t hat i ncr edi bl e phone of her s. She l i ked her so damn much. She want ed t hat phone. Not hi ng el se woul d do. Why coul dn' t she be mor e l i ke her ? Why di d she come t o t hi s st upi d house par t y i n t he f i r st pl ace? Gal e l ook ed ar ound t he l i br ar y. She not i ced t he mahogany wor k desk. Ki nda t acky. Thi ngs. The house was f ul l of t hi ngs. When she got ol d enough t o have a house, she' d own not hi ng. Di t a ent er ed t he ki t chen. She dut i f ul l y avoi ded t he f r i dge out of some pr i mal r espec t f or i t s ot her ness . She was hopi ng i t woul d di st r act her , i f f or some br i ef moment , f r om her l i f e. " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he l i vi ng r oom al l t o mysel f , " t hought Vi vi anna. The next t hi ng she saw was t he f l at sc r een TV, whi c h l ef t her f eel i ng di squi et ed. She wi shed t he booze woul d ki ck i n. Ki ah ent er ed t he mast er bedr oom. Dar by was t her e, as i f wai t i ng. Ki ah avoi ded Dar by. Gal e f ound Phi l omena i n t he l i br ar y. " Wher e di d you get t hat phone, Phi l omena?" Phi l omena i gnor ed her . The gr eat hal l was empt y. Fi nal l y, Phi l omena t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. The f ami l y por t r ai t r emi nded her of her mot her . Bar f . She hear d a noi se f r om somewher e el se i n t he hous e. Di t a l ooked ar ound t he cl oset . She dut i f ul l y avoi ded t he br oom out of some pr i mal r espect f or i t s ot her ness. She hear d a noi se f r om somewher e el se i n t he house. The f oyer was empt y. Fi nal l y, Gal e t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. Gal e debat ed j ust l eavi ng t he house. She t hought about school , and how Ki ah and Dar by di dn' t have t o t r y har d t o be l i ked. Why di d t hey l eav e whenever she ent er ed a r oom? How coul d t hat even be possi bl e? Di d t hey secr et l y l i ke her af t er al l ? I t di dn' t mat t er anyway. They wer e queen
bees and t hey knew i t . They never i nvi t ed her t o par t i es; i t was a f l uke she ended up at t hi s one. But l i f e was pr obabl y har d f or t hem t oo, i n i t s own way . I t al ways i s. Di d t hey suspect she t hought about t hem so much? Ki ah ent er ed t he mast er bedr oom. Dar by was t her e, as i f wai t i ng. " why woul d you keep pushi ng i t ?" demanded Ki ah. " because I ' m pr ogr essi ng, " sai d Dar by. Ki ah and Dar by r an i nt o each ot her i n t he mast er bedr oom. " Wher e di d you get t hat coat , Dar by?" Dar by i gnor ed her . Gal e ent er ed t he l i vi ng r oom. The c of f ee t abl e r emi nded her of her mot her . Bar f . Par t of her , a l ar ger par t t han she car ed t o admi t , want ed t o smash i t . She t hought about Dar by. Why coul dn' t she be mor e l i ke her ? Maybe i f t hey coul d j ust be r eal wi t h each ot her f or once. . . Nobody r eal l y knew how she f el t . Af t er some t i me, Di t a f ound her sel f i n t he cl oset . Di t a sur r ept i ci ousl y r ear r anged t he suppl i es. She t hought about school , and how Ki ah and Gal e got bet t er gr ades t han her . Di d t hey secr et l y l i ke her af t er al l ? I t di dn' t mat t er anyway. Di d t hey suspect she t hought about t hem so much? " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he di ni ng r oom al l t o mysel f , " t hought Vi vi anna. " Wow, check out t hat si l ver war e, " she sai d t o no one i n par t i cul ar . She was hopi ng i t woul d di st r act her , i f f or some br i ef moment , f r om her l i f e. The mast er bat hr oom was empt y. Fi nal l y, Dar by t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. She st ar ed at t he bl onde onyx bat ht ub uncompr ehendi ngl y. She di dn' t gi ve i t a second t hought . Nobody was i n t he ki t c hen, so Di t a f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. The next t hi ng she saw was t he kni f e set , whi ch l ef t her f eel i ng di squi et ed. She hear d a noi se f r om somewher e el se i n t he house. Ki ah ent er ed t he gr eat hal l . Ki ah t ook of f her shoes, got a r unni ng st ar t , a sl i d i n her socks
down t he sl i ck har dwood f l oor s. Di t a l ooked ar ound t he cl oset . The br oom caught her eye. She t hought i t was t he ugl i est t hi ng she' d ever seen. She was hopi ng i t woul d di st r act her , i f f or some br i ef moment , f r om her l i f e. Dar by wal ked i nt o t he mast er bedr oom and saw Phi l omena. Gr eat . " Dr eams, " Dar by sai d. " Tel l me about your dr eams. " Phi l omena al most sai d not hi ng, but t hought bet t er of i t . " I was a but t er f l y f l yi ng i n a f i el d of yel l ow f l ower s. I st opped on one f l ower and i t t ur ned i nt o a boat t aki ng me down t he Ni l e. " Di t a l ooked ar ound t he cl oset . Di t a l ooked f or some paper t owel s. Ki ah ent er ed t he gr eat hal l . Dar by was t her e, as i f wai t i ng. Ki ah avoi ded Dar by. " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he f oyer al l t o mysel f , " t hought Gal e. Gal e debat ed j ust l eavi ng t he house. Nobody was i n t he cl os et , so Di t a f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. The br i c a br ac r emi nded her of her mot her . Bar f . She hear d a noi se f r om somewher e el se i n t he house. Af t er some t i me, Gal e f ound her sel f i n t he f r ont yar d. " Wow, check out t hat l awn, " she sai d t o no one i n par t i cul ar . Thi ngs. The house was f ul l of t hi ngs . When she got ol d enough t o have a house, she' d own not hi ng. She t hought about Dar by. Dar by and t hat ost ent at i ous shi r t of her s. She hat ed her so damn much. I t was al most t oo much t o deal wi t h. Nobody r eal l y knew how she f el t . Why di d ever yone want t o be l i ke her ? Phi l omena ent er ed t he mast er bat hr oom. " Wow, check out t hat bl onde onyx bat ht ub, " she sai d t o no one i n par t i c ul ar . She wi shed t he booze woul d ki ck i n. She t hought about school , and how Vi vi anna and Di t a had mor e money t han she di d. Wer e t hey j eal ous of her somehow? Not l i kel y. They wal ked ar ound t he school l i ke t hey owned t he pl ace. Di d t hey suspect she t hought about t hem so much? Di t a ent er ed t he ki t chen. Di t a chec ked t he f r i dge f or snacks . The l i vi ng r oom was empt y. Fi nal l y, Vi vi anna t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. " Wow, chec k out t hat f l at scr een TV, " she sai d t o no one i n par t i cul ar . She hear d a noi se f r om
somewher e el se i n t he house. She t hought about school , and how Di t a and Gal e di dn' t have t o t r y har d t o be l i ked. Why di d t hey l eave whenever s he ent er ed a r oom? They wer e al ways l aughi ng wi t h t hei r per f ect f r i ends. They never i nvi t ed her t o par t i es; i t was a f l uke she ended up at t hi s one. But l i f e was pr obabl y har d f or t hem t oo, i n i t s own way. I t al ways i s. Di d t hey suspect she t hought about t hem so much? Ki ah br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he bat hr oom. She st ar ed at t he t oi l et uncompr ehendi ngl y. She di dn' t gi v e i t a second t hought . She t hought about school , and how Gal e and Vi vi anna never t al ked t o her . Di d t hey secr et l y l i ke her af t er al l ? I t di dn' t mat t er anyway. They al ways got t hey want ed. Al ways. Gal e l ook ed ar ound t he f r ont yar d. She not i ced t he t r ee. Ki nda t acky. Thi ngs. The house was f ul l of t hi ngs. When she got ol d enough t o have a house, she' d own not hi ng. Vi vi anna ent er ed t he f oyer . Gal e was t her e, as i f wai t i ng. Vi vi anna st ar ed at Gal e suspi ci ous l y. Dar by br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he guest bedr oom. She not i ced t he bed. Ki nda t acky. She hear d a noi se f r om somewher e el se i n t he house. Gal e and Vi vi anna r an i nt o each ot her i n t he f oyer . Gal e pl ayed ner vousl y wi t h her ski r t i n a successf ul bi d t o avoi d t al ki ng t o Vi vi anna. She t hought about Vi vi anna. Vi vi anna and t hat aquamar i ne sweat er of her s. She want ed t hat bel t . Not hi ng el se woul d do. Why di d ever yone want t o be l i ke her ? Nobody was i n t he mast er bat hr oom, so Phi l omena f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. She not i ced t he bl onde ony x count er t op. Ki nda t acky. She hear d a noi se f r om somewher e el se i n t he house. The back y ar d was empt y. Fi nal l y, Di t a t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. The l awn f ur ni t ur e c aught her eye. She t hought i t was t he ugl i est t hi ng she' d ever seen. She di dn' t gi ve i t a second t hought . She t hought about school , and how Phi l omena and Gal e t hought t hey wer e so much bet t er t han ever yone el se. Why di d t hey l eave whenever she ent er ed a r oom? How coul d t hat even be possi bl e? Di d t hey secr et l y l i ke her af t er al l ? I t di dn' t mat t er
anyway. They al ways got t hey want ed. Al ways. The f oyer was empt y. Fi nal l y, Vi vi anna t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. Vi vi anna debat ed j ust l eavi ng t he house. Af t er some t i me, Gal e f ound her sel f i n t he f r ont yar d. Gal e r an her f i nger s t hr ough t he wel l mani c ur ed gr ass, dr eami ng of bet t er days. Phi l omena ent er ed t he mast er bat hr oom. The bl onde onyx bat ht ub r emi nded her of her mot her . Bar f . Why she not i ced i n t he f i r st pl ace was beyond her . Nobody was i n t he gar age, so Di t a f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. The r i di ng l awnmower r emi nded her of her mot her . Bar f . She was hopi ng i t woul d di st r act her , i f f or some br i ef moment , f r om her l i f e. " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he guest bedr oom al l t o mysel f , " t hought Dar by. She st ar ed at t he bed uncompr ehendi ngl y. She di dn' t gi v e i t a second t hought . Ki ah ent er ed t he mast er bedr oom. " Wow, check out t hat t eak dr esser , " she sai d t o no one i n par t i cul ar . She was hopi ng i t woul d di st r act her , i f f or some br i ef moment , f r om her l i f e. Af t er some t i me, Gal e f ound her sel f i n t he f oyer . Gal e debat ed j ust l eavi ng t he house. The gr eat hal l hel d t wo i t ems of i nt er est t o Dar by: t he f ami l y por t r ai t and Ki ah. Dar by st ar ed at Ki ah sus pi ci ousl y. Nobody was i n t he l i vi ng r oom, so Gal e f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. The next t hi ng she saw was t he f l at scr een TV, whi ch l ef t her f eel i ng di squi et ed. She hear d a noi se f r om somewher e el se i n t he house. She t hought about Gal e. She want ed t hat ski r t . Not hi ng el se woul d do. Why coul dn' t she be mor e l i ke her ? Nobody r eal l y knew how she f el t . Just t hi nk i ng about i t made her want t o puke. Nobody was i n t he mast er bedr oom, so Phi l omena f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. The ki ng si zed bed caught her eye. She t hought i t was t he ugl i est t hi ng she' d ever seen. She was hopi ng i t woul d di s t r act her , i f f or some br i ef moment , f r om her l i f e.
Di t a l ooked ar ound t he guest bedr oom. The next t hi ng she saw was t he set of cur t ai ns, whi ch l ef t her f eel i ng di squi et ed. She was hopi ng i t woul d di st r act her , i f f or some br i ef moment , f r om her l i f e. She t hought about Phi l omena. She hat ed her so damn muc h. I t was al most t oo much t o deal wi t h. Why di d ever yone want t o be l i ke her ? The f r ont y ar d was empt y. Fi nal l y, Vi vi anna t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. Vi vi anna st ar t ed t o cl i mb t he t r ee, t hen t hought bet t er of i t . Ki ah ent er ed t he l i br ar y. Ki ah t r i ed and f ai l ed t o open t he l ock on t he desk. Phi l omena and Dar by r an i nt o each ot her i n t he mast er bedr oom. Phi l omena pl ayed ner vousl y wi t h her phone i n a successf ul bi d t o avoi d t al ki ng t o Dar by. " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he guest bedr oom al l t o mysel f , " t hought Di t a. She st ar ed at t he set of cur t ai ns uncompr ehendi ngl y. Par t of her , a l ar ger par t t han she car ed t o admi t , want ed t o smash i t . Vi vi anna ent er ed t he f r ont yar d. Vi vi anna r an her f i nger s t hr ough t he wel l mani cur ed gr ass, dr eami ng of bet t er days. Dar by ent er ed t he mast er bedr oom t o f i nd Phi l omena st andi ng t her e. Dar by avoi ded Phi l omena. She t hought about Phi l omena. I t was al most t oo much t o deal wi t h. Why coul dn' t s he be mor e l i ke her ? Maybe i f t hey coul d j ust be r eal wi t h each ot her f or once. . . Nobody r eal l y knew how she f el t . Why di d ever yone want t o be l i ke her ? The f oyer was empt y. Fi nal l y, Ki ah t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. " Wow, check out t hat chandel i er , " she sai d t o no one i n par t i cul ar . She was hopi ng i t woul d di st r act her , i f f or some br i ef moment , f r om her l i f e. Gal e br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he di ni ng r oom. She st ar ed at t he di ni ng r oom t abl e uncompr ehendi ngl y. She was hopi ng i t woul d di st r act her , i f f or some br i ef moment , f r om her l i f e. " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he mast er bat hr oom al l t o mysel f , " t hought Phi l omena. " Wow, check out t hat bl onde onyx t oi l et , " she sai d t o no one i n par t i cul ar . She wi shed t he booze woul d ki ck
i n. The gar age was empt y. Fi nal l y, Vi v i anna t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. Vi v i anna cons i der ed get t i ng on t hat l awnmower and r i di ng i t out of t hi s pl ace. Nobody was i n t he f oyer , so Ki ah f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. She not i ced t he si de t abl e. Ki nda t acky. She was hopi ng i t woul d di st r act her , i f f or some br i ef moment , f r om her l i f e. She t hought about school , and how Vi vi anna and Di t a had mor e money t han she di d. Wer e t hey j eal ous of her s omehow? Not l i kel y. They wer e al ways l aughi ng wi t h t hei r per f ec t f r i ends. They wer e queen bees and t hey knew i t . But l i f e was pr obabl y har d f or t hem t oo, i n i t s own way. I t al ways i s. Nobody was i n t he gar age, so Vi v i anna f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. The BMW r emi nded her of her mot her . Bar f . She wi shed t he booze woul d ki ck i n. She t hought about Phi l omena. Phi l omena and t hat cr i mson phone of her s. She hat ed her so damn much. She want ed t hat phone. Not hi ng el se woul d do. I t was al most t oo much t o deal wi t h. Why coul dn' t she be mor e l i ke her ? Maybe i f t hey coul d j ust be r eal wi t h each ot her f or once. . . Dar by ent er ed t he bat hr oom. Dar by l ooked ar ound f or t ampons, f i ndi ng none. The f r ont y ar d was empt y. Fi nal l y, Ki ah t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. Ki ah st ar t ed t o cl i mb t he t r ee, t hen t hought bet t er of i t . " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he back yar d al l t o mysel f , " t hought Gal e. The l awn f ur ni t ur e r emi nded her of her mot her . Bar f . She hear d a noi se f r om somewher e el se i n t he house. Nobody was i n t he guest bedr oom, so Di t a f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. " Wow, check out t hat post er of a. . . Monet ?, " she sai d t o no one i n par t i cul ar . She di dn' t gi ve i t a second t hought . Nobody was i n t he gar age, so Vi v i anna f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. The r i di ng l awnmower caught her eye. She t hought i t was t he ugl i est t hi ng she' d ever seen. Why she not i ced i n t he f i r st pl ace was beyond her .
Nobody was i n t he ki t c hen, so Gal e f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. She dut i f ul l y avoi ded t he kni f e set out of some pr i mal r espect f or i t s ot her ness. Par t of her , a l ar ger par t t han she car ed t o admi t , want ed t o smash i t . As Phi l omena ent er ed t he gr eat hal l , she saw Dar by maki ng t r oubl e. Phi l omena st ar ed at Dar by suspi ci ousl y. Di t a l ooked ar ound t he guest bedr oom. Di t a i magi ned what ki nd of peopl e had st ay ed i n t he bed. How many peopl e had had sex i n i t ? Af t er some t i me, Vi vi anna f ound her sel f i n t he f r ont yar d. The t r ee caught her eye. She t hought i t was t he ugl i est t hi ng she' d ever seen. Why she not i ced i n t he f i r st pl ace was beyond her . Af t er some t i me, Ki ah f ound her sel f i n t he f oyer . Ki ah debat ed j ust l eavi ng t he house. Gal e ent er ed t he ki t chen. Gal e r i f l ed t hr ough t he cabi net s f or al cohol . Vi vi anna l ooked ar ound t he f r ont y ar d. Vi vi anna st ar t ed t o c l i mb t he t r ee, t hen t hought bet t er of i t . Dar by ent er ed t he bat hr oom. Dar by was af r ai d, as she al ways was, t hat a mur der er l ay i n ambush behi nd t he shower cur t ai n. Ki ah l ooked ar ound t he f oyer . She st ar ed at t he chandel i er uncompr ehendi ngl y. Why she not i c ed i n t he f i r st pl ace was beyond her . Phi l omena ent er ed t he guest bedr oom. Di t a was t her e, as i f wai t i ng. " What i s t he best wi ne t hat woul d go wi t h Tur key?" i nqui r ed Phi l omena. " Scr eami ng Eagl e, " sai d Di t a. Dar by br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he bat hr oom. Dar by was af r ai d, as she al ways was, t hat a mur der er l ay i n ambush behi nd t he shower cur t ai n. She t hought about school , and how Di t a and Phi l omena wer e such t ot al bi t ches. Why di d t hey l eave whenever
she ent er ed a r oom? The l i vi ng r oom was empt y. Fi nal l y, Ki ah t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. " Wow, check out t hat cof f ee t abl e, " she sai d t o no one i n par t i cul ar . She was hopi ng i t woul d di s t r act her , i f f or some br i ef moment , f r om her l i f e. She t hought about school , and how Phi l omena and Di t a never t al ked t o her . Di d t hey secr et l y l i ke her af t er al l ? I t di dn' t mat t er anyway. They wal ked ar ound t he school l i ke t hey owned t he pl ace. They wer e queen bees and t hey knew i t . But l i f e was pr obabl y har d f or t hem t oo, i n i t s own way. I t al ways i s. Di d t hey sus pect she t hought about t hem so much? Phi l omena l ooked ar ound t he gr eat hal l . The t r i bal Af ghan r ug caught her eye. She t hought i t was t he ugl i est t hi ng she' d ever seen. Why she not i ced i n t he f i r st pl ace was beyond her . Af t er some t i me, Vi vi anna f ound her sel f i n t he l i br ar y. Vi vi anna f l i pped t hr ough some books. The bat hr oom was empt y. Fi nal l y, Dar by t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. Dar by r el i ev ed her sel f . She t hought about Di t a. Why coul dn' t she be mor e l i ke her ? Maybe i f t hey coul d j ust be r eal wi t h each ot her f or once. . . Nobody r eal l y knew how she f el t . Ki ah ent er ed t he f r ont y ar d. Ki ah r an her f i nger s t hr ough t he wel l mani cur ed gr ass, dr eami ng of bet t er days. Vi vi anna l ooked ar ound t he gr eat hal l . Vi vi anna t ook of f her shoes, got a r unni ng st ar t , a sl i d i n her socks down t he sl i ck har dwood f l oor s. She t hought about Phi l omena. Phi l omena and t hat f ashi onabl e scar f of her s. Maybe i f t hey coul d j ust be r eal wi t h each ot her f or once. . . Nobody r eal l y knew how she f el t . Why di d ever yone want t o be l i ke her ? Why di d she come t o t hi s st upi d house par t y i n t he f i r st pl ace? " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he bat hr oom al l t o mysel f , " t hought Dar by . " Wow, check out t hat t oi l et , " she sai d t o no one i n par t i cul ar . She hear d a noi se f r om somewher e el se i n t he house. She t hought about school , and how Gal e and Di t a had mor e money t han she di d. They wer e al ways l aughi ng wi t h t hei r per f ect f r i ends. They never i nvi t ed her t o par t i es; i t was a f l uke she ended up at t hi s one. They al ways got t hey want ed. Al ways. Di d t hey suspect she
t hought about t hem so much? The f oyer was empt y. Fi nal l y, Ki ah t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. Ki ah debat ed j ust l eavi ng t he house. Gal e ent er ed t he br eakf ast nook. Gal e dr ank some j ui ce, f uck i t , r i ght ? Whose house even was t hi s? Phi l omena f ound Di t a i n t he guest bedr oom. " What i s t he best Chr i st mas movi e?" " A l i t t l e bi ased but Sai nsbur y' s. " As Phi l omena ent er ed t he gr eat hal l , she saw Di t a maki ng t r oubl e. " Wher e di d you get t hat sweat er , Di t a?" Di t a i gnor ed her . Nobody was i n t he bat hr oom, so Vi vi anna f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. Vi vi anna l ooked ar ound f or t ampons, f i ndi ng none. Ki ah br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he f oyer . She st ar ed at t he chandel i er uncompr ehendi ngl y. Thi ngs. The house was f ul l of t hi ngs. When she got ol d enough t o have a house, she' d own not hi ng. Gal e br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he ki t chen. The next t hi ng she saw was t he kni f e set , whi ch l ef t her f eel i ng di squi et ed. She hear d a noi se f r om somewher e el se i n t he house. Di t a br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n s i ght s of t he guest bedr oom. The post er of a. . . Monet ? caught her eye. She t hought i t was t he ugl i est t hi ng she' d ever seen. Thi ngs. The house was f ul l of t hi ngs. When she got ol d enough t o have a house, she' d own not hi ng. Dar by ent er ed t he l i br ar y. Dar by t r i ed and f ai l ed t o open t he l ock on t he desk. Gal e br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he back yar d. She dut i f ul l y avoi ded t he gas gr i l l out of some pr i mal r espect f or i t s ot her ness. She wi shed t he booze woul d ki ck i n. Vi vi anna encount er ed Phi l omena i n t he gr eat hal l . " What ' s your f avour i t e l i ne f r om a Soca
chune?" " oh man t hat , " sai d Phi l omena. Phi l omena br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he gr eat hal l . Phi l omena t ook of f her shoes, got a r unni ng st ar t , a sl i d i n her socks down t he sl i ck har dwood f l oor s. Di t a wal ked i nt o t he guest bedr oom and saw Vi vi anna. Gr eat . Di t a pl ayed ner vous l y wi t h her phone i n a successf ul bi d t o avoi d t al ki ng t o Vi vi anna. Vi vi anna and Di t a r an i nt o each ot her i n t he guest bedr oom. Vi vi anna pl ayed ner vousl y wi t h her bel t i n a successf ul bi d t o avoi d t al ki ng t o Di t a. Nobody was i n t he l i br ar y, so Dar by f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. Dar by f l i pped t hr ough some books. Nobody was i n t he gar age, so Ki ah f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. The r i di ng l awnmower r emi nded her of her mot her . Bar f . Thi ngs. The house was f ul l of t hi ngs. When she got ol d enough t o have a hous e, she' d own not hi ng. " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he bat hr oom al l t o mysel f , " t hought Phi l omena. Phi l omena l ooked ar ound f or t ampons, f i ndi ng none. She t hought about school , and how Phi l omena and Di t a wer e such t ot al bi t ches. Why di d t hey l eave whenever she ent er ed a r oom? Di d t hey sec r et l y l i ke her af t er al l ? I t di dn' t mat t er anyway. But l i f e was pr obabl y har d f or t hem t oo, i n i t s own way. I t al ways i s. " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he guest bedr oom al l t o mysel f , " t hought Vi vi anna. " Wow, check out t hat bed, " she s ai d t o no one i n par t i cul ar . Par t of her , a l ar ger par t t han she car ed t o admi t , want ed t o smash i t . Dar by ent er ed t he gr eat hal l t o f i nd Di t a st andi ng t her e. " Dr eams, " Dar by sai d. " Tel l me about your dr eams. " Di t a al most sai d not hi ng, but t hought bet t er of i t . " I was i n a 7 El even, and my f at her ' s f r i end Mar i e came i n. She sai d t o hur r y. I bought my gum and r an t o t he car . Our house had st or m shut t er s and a st or m cel l ar . Dad had al r eady got t en f ood, cl ot hes and bl anket s, and we went i nt o t he cel l ar . The hur r i cane hi t and we wer e saf e, t hough we di dn' t have power f or a whi l e. They named i t Hur r i cane Juno. "
Phi l omena encount er ed Vi vi anna i n t he gr eat hal l . " Wher e di d you get t hat sweat er , Vi vi anna?" Vi vi anna i gnor ed her . " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he l i br ar y al l t o mysel f , " t hought Di t a. Di t a t r i ed and f ai l ed t o open t he l ock on t he des k. " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he f oyer al l t o mysel f , " t hought Di t a. She s t ar ed at t he chandel i er uncompr ehendi ngl y. Why she not i ced i n t he f i r st pl ace was beyond her . Nobody was i n t he l i br ar y, so Vi vi anna f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. Vi vi anna t r i ed and f ai l ed t o open t he l ock on t he desk. " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he gr eat hal l al l t o mysel f , " t hought Dar by. Dar by t ook of f her shoes, got a r unni ng st ar t , a sl i d i n her socks down t he sl i ck har dwood f l oor s. Af t er some t i me, Ki ah f ound her sel f i n t he gar age. She dut i f ul l y avoi ded t he r i di ng l awnmower out of some pr i mal r espect f or i t s ot her ness. She wi shed t he booze woul d ki ck i n. The f oyer was empt y. Fi nal l y, Di t a t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. Di t a debat ed j ust l eavi ng t he house. As Dar by ent er ed t he gr eat hal l , s he saw Vi vi anna maki ng t r oubl e. Dar by st ar ed at Vi vi anna suspi ci ousl y. Vi vi anna wal ked i nt o t he gr eat hal l and saw Phi l omena. Gr eat . " What i s your f avor i t e quot e f r om Chr i s t i an Rap musi c?" asked Vi vi anna. Phi l omena si ghed. " St r essed Depr essed but Wel l Dr essed. " The guest bedr oom hel d t wo i t ems of i nt er est t o Phi l omena: t he post er of a. . . Monet ? and Vi vi anna. " Vi vi anna, what di d you dr eam about l ast ni ght ?" asked Phi l omena. Vi vi anna seemed war y, but her f ace sof t ened. " The f i r st par t of t he dr eam I was wi t h a bunc h of f r i ends and we f el t l i ke doi ng somet hi ng st upi d and r ebel l i ous, but we f i gur ed we' d bet t er have my ot her f r i end Sal l y al ong. Si nce nobody el se knew t he way t o her house, I dr ove.
Event ual l y we j ust sat ar ound t al ki ng, eat i ng cooki es, and maki ng scr ap books i n t he mi ddl e of t he ni ght , up i n Sal l y' s l of t . I had some mi ni dr eam about bei ng i n a comput er game. Me and my f ami l y and f ami l y f r i ends went t o t hi s Cl ub Med, and t hey wer e al l a par t of t he Cl ub Med ci r cus t eam, and t hey want ed me t o do t he t r apeze. I ' m an acr ophobi c, so t hey coul dn' t get me t o do i t . Ri ght at t he end of my dr eams , Whi t ney Houst on sang " I wi l l al ways l ove you. " " " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he l i br ar y al l t o mysel f , " t hought Di t a. Di t a f l i pped t hr ough some books. Dar by ent er ed t he bat hr oom. Dar by r el i eved her sel f . Gal e br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he ki t chen. Gal e checked t he f r i dge f or snacks. Di t a l ooked ar ound t he l i br ar y. The mahogany wor k desk caught her eye. She t hought i t was t he ugl i est t hi ng she' d ever seen. Par t of her , a l ar ger par t t han she car ed t o admi t , want ed t o smash i t . Af t er some t i me, Ki ah f ound her sel f i n t he gar age. Ki ah t r i ed t o j i mmy t he l ock on t he car and ended up set t i ng of f t he al ar m. Whoops. She t hought about Phi l omena. Phi l omena and t hat cr i ms on phone of her s. She envi ed her so damn much. She want ed t hat scar f . Not hi ng el se woul d do. Maybe i f t hey coul d j ust be r eal wi t h each ot her f or once. . . The ki t chen was empt y. Fi nal l y, Gal e t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. She not i ced t he f r i dge. Ki nda t acky. She di dn' t gi ve i t a second t hought . She t hought about Vi vi anna. Vi vi anna and t hat aquamar i ne sweat er of her s. She want ed t hat bel t . Not hi ng el se woul d do. Why c oul dn' t she be mor e l i ke her ? Maybe i f t hey coul d j ust be r eal wi t h each ot her f or once. . . Phi l omena wal ked i nt o t he guest bedr oom and saw Vi vi anna. Gr eat . " What ' s your f avour i t e song t o smoke t o?" " Pur sui t Of Happi ness. " Vi vi anna ent er ed t he guest bedr oom t o f i nd Phi l omena st andi ng t her e. " What i s t he best
deal you f ound?" i nqui r ed Vi vi anna. " Taco Tues day. " Di t a and Dar by r an i nt o each ot her i n t he gr eat hal l . Di t a eyed Dar by' s emer al d coat wi t h envy . Ki ah ent er ed t he back yar d. Gal e was t her e, as i f wai t i ng. Gal e st i f f ened and began t o r ambl e, not not i ci ng Ki ah, as i f i n a f ugue st at e. " Ever ybody was at My school and i t was about 10: 00. We wer e j ust chi l l i n' at t he upper cour t s i n t he dar k. Me and Wi l l wer e hol di ng hands and wal ki ng t oget her and i t was so ni ce. Wi l l t ook 6 l i t t l e ki ds t o some f or t and I was pi ssed of f t hat I coul dn' t be wi t h hi m. " Dar by f ound Di t a i n t he gr eat hal l . " What ' s t he best messenger app you can suggest ?" " Ki k. " Af t er some t i me, Phi l omena f ound her sel f i n t he gr eat hal l . The t r i bal Af ghan r ug caught her eye. She t hought i t was t he ugl i es t t hi ng she' d ever seen. She was hopi ng i t woul d di st r act her , i f f or some br i ef moment , f r om her l i f e. Di t a wal ked i nt o t he bat hr oom and saw Dar by. Gr eat . " Wher e di d you get t hat coat , Dar by?" Dar by i gnor ed her . She t hought about Dar by. I t was al most t oo much t o deal wi t h. Why di d she come t o t hi s st upi d house par t y i n t he f i r st pl ace? Vi vi anna br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he guest bedr oom. The set of cur t ai ns r emi nded her of her mot her . Bar f . Thi ngs. The house was f ul l of t hi ngs. When she got ol d enough t o have a house, she' d own not hi ng. Dar by and Di t a r an i nt o each ot her i n t he bat hr oom. Dar by pl ayed ner vousl y wi t h her coat i n a success f ul bi d t o avoi d t al ki ng t o Di t a. Af t er some t i me, Ki ah f ound her sel f i n t he gar age. Ki ah peer ed i n t he car door f or s ome ki nd of cl ue as t o whose house t hi s was. Gal e l ook ed ar ound t he ki t chen. She st ar ed at t he oven unc ompr ehendi ngl y. She hear d a noi se f r om somewher e el se i n t he house.
Vi vi anna and Phi l omena r an i nt o each ot her i n t he gr eat hal l . " why do you have t o be mean w/ me _ ?" demanded Vi vi anna. " because i dont have an expensi ve ci gar and a gl ass of scot h or whi skey, " sai d Phi l omena. Di t a f ound Dar by i n t he gr eat hal l . " Dar by, what di d you dr eam about l ast ni ght ?" asked Di t a. Dar by seemed war y, but her f ace sof t ened. " I t ur ned i nt o a mouse and was bei ng chas ed by a cat . The c at was a bi g cat , i t sl owed down and swal l owed me. I went down i t ' s t hr oat l i ke I go down sl i des. I ended up i n a gr een house wi t h l ot s of honeysuckl es. " Vi vi anna ent er ed t he bat hr oom. Vi v i anna j i ggl ed t he t oi l et handl e. Dar by ent er ed t he gr eat hal l . Di t a was t her e, as i f wai t i ng. Di t a was cr yi ng. Dar by act ed on i nst i nct . " Tel l me al l about i t . " she sai d. Di t a obl i ged i n an unbecomi ng out pour i ng. " I had a dr eam I was i n a super mar ket and I was t he l ast i n t her e. They wer e cl osi ng, so I was l eavi ng and t he st or e guy says, " Just f or your comf or t we have St ot t i e Pi ppen and Tupac Shakur her e. " I pl ayed b bal l wi t h Scot t i e Pi ppen and wi t h Tupak, and I shook bot h t hei r hands. " The back y ar d was empt y. Fi nal l y, Ki ah t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. " Wow, check out t hat gas gr i l l , " she sai d t o no one i n par t i cul ar . She was hopi ng i t woul d di st r act her , i f f or some br i ef moment , f r om her l i f e. Nobody was i n t he cl os et , so Gal e f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. Gal e sur r ept i ci ousl y r ear r anged t he suppl i es. Nobody was i n t he gr eat hal l , so Vi vi anna f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. Vi vi anna st ar ed down t he hal l , whi ch seemed l onger t han i t had any r i ght t o be. She t hought about Di t a. Di t a and t hat i ncr edi bl e phone of her s. I t was al most t oo much t o deal wi t h. Why coul dn' t s he be mor e l i ke her ? Why di d ever yone want t o be l i ke her ? Why di d she come t o t hi s s t upi d house par t y i n t he f i r st pl ace? Af t er some t i me, Dar by f ound her sel f i n t he bat hr oom. She not i ced t he f r amed phot o of a f i sh. Ki nda t acky. She di dn' t gi ve i t a second t hought . Ki ah ent er ed t he ki t chen t o f i nd Gal e st andi ng t her e. Ki ah appear ed angr y. " What i s t he
best wi ne t hat woul d go wi t h Tur key?" she i nqui r ed. " Wi ne dr unkt he best , wi ne i s . " Phi l omena br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he guest bedr oom. Phi l omena guessed t hat t hi s was t he most bor i ng r oom i n t he house. The gr eat hal l hel d t wo i t ems of i nt er est t o Di t a: t he f ami l y por t r ai t and Vi vi anna. " Dr eams, " Di t a sai d. " Tel l me about your dr eams. " Vi vi anna al most sai d not hi ng, but t hought bet t er of i t . " I was i n t he war hospi t al r unni ng ar ound t r y i ng t o t ake car e of pat i ent s, but I was r unni ng out of t i me or somet hi ng. Then some ot her nur ses came ( Lt . Bf j i k , and Gener al Camand) and t ol d me t o t ake a br eak. The wei r d t hi ng was t hat I knew t hat I was t he one r unni ng ar ound, car i ng f or pat i ent s, but I di dn' t l ook l i ke mysel f at al l . The t wo nur ses wer e my f r i ends, Ni na and Hi l ar y, but t hey di dn' t l ook how t hey l ook now, ei t her ! " Dar by encount er ed Di t a i n t he gr eat hal l . " Dr eams, " Dar by sai d. " Tel l me about your dr eams. " Di t a al most sai d not hi ng, but t hought bet t er of i t . " I went t o summer c amp, met a gi r l who l i ked my st r ai ght f or war dness, and she gave me some f al se eyel ashes. I r emember t hi nki ng I ' d f or got t en al l my hai r pr oduct s. Then I saw a l i t t l e boy bei ng beat up, so I went over t o one of t he guys and t ol d hi m he was a f uck up. He t hen asked me i f I want ed my head t wi st ed of f , and got r eal l y pi ssed. So I t ol d hi m he had mi sunder st ood my comment , and what I r eal l y sai d was " I wanna f uck you up. " So he changed hi s mi nd and f el l i n l ove wi t h me, and we di d t hi s danci ng f l yi ng ki nd of t hi ng. Af t er we di d t hi s, I acci dent al l y l et go and f l ew i nt o anot her r oom, and changed i nt o a t wi n of t he man i n t her e. Then t her e was somet hi ng i n t her e about Dor ot hy/ Judy Gar l and, but I don' t r emember . I don' t r emember t he endi ng. " Gal e l ook ed ar ound t he br eakf ast nook. Gal e dr ank some j ui ce, f uck i t , r i ght ? Whos e house even was t hi s? Phi l omena l ooked ar ound t he guest bedr oom. She st ar ed at t he bed uncompr ehendi ngl y. She hear d a noi se f r om somewher e el se i n t he house. Vi vi anna f ound Di t a i n t he l i br ar y. " Wher e di d you get t hat s weat er , Di t a?" Di t a i gnor ed her . The gr eat hal l was empt y. Fi nal l y, Dar by t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. Dar by t ook
of f her shoes, got a r unni ng st ar t , a sl i d i n her socks down t he sl i ck har dwood f l oor s. As Di t a ent er ed t he l i br ar y, she saw Vi vi anna maki ng t r oubl e. Di t a seemed di si nt er est ed. " why do you f ucki ng do t hi s t o me?" she asked. " because I ' m so f ucki ng scar ed of di ssapoi nt i ng, " sai d Vi vi anna. Di t a ent er ed t he f oyer . Vi vi anna was t her e, as i f wai t i ng. Vi vi anna st i f f ened and began t o r ambl e, not not i ci ng Di t a, as i f i n a f ugue st at e. " I was a bi g f i sh and I was swi mmi ng t hr ough t he ai r and I f el l t hr ough a hol e i n a t r ee. I f el l down t o an under gr ound r i ver wher e a man wi t h a bi g nose was sayi ng, " Moo, Oh how I l ove you. " And he was sayi ng t hi s t o a cat si t t i ng on a pedest al . Then I woke up. " Ki ah ent er ed t he gar age. Ki ah t r i ed t o j i mmy t he l ock on t he car and ended up set t i ng of f t he al ar m. Whoops. Gal e l ook ed ar ound t he ki t chen. Gal e checked t he f r i dge f or snacks. She t hought about school , and how Gal e and Ki ah got bet t er gr ades t han her . How coul d t hat even be poss i bl e? Di d t hey secr et l y l i ke her af t er al l ? I t di dn' t mat t er anyway. The guest bedr oom hel d t wo i t ems of i nt er est t o Dar by: t he bed and Phi l omena. Dar by l ooked concer ned. " What i s t he best Chr i st mas movi e?" she i nqui r ed. " Al l I Want For Chr i st mas I s You. " The gr eat hal l was empt y. Fi nal l y, Phi l omena t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. She st ar ed at t he t r i bal Af ghan r ug unc ompr ehendi ngl y. Thi ngs. The house was f ul l of t hi ngs. When she got ol d enough t o have a house, she' d own not hi ng. She t hought about school , and how Vi vi anna and Ki ah di dn' t have t o t r y har d t o be l i ked. Why di d t hey l eave whenever she ent er ed a r oom? They wal ked ar ound t he school l i ke t hey owned t he pl ace. They never i nvi t ed her t o par t i es; i t was a f l uke she ended up at t hi s one. They al ways got t hey want ed. Al ways. Nobody was i n t he f oyer , so Di t a f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. Di t a debat ed
j ust l eavi ng t he house. Af t er some t i me, Vi vi anna f ound her sel f i n t he l i vi ng r oom. Vi vi anna t ur ned on t he TV f or a whi l e. She t hought about school , and how Di t a and Phi l omena got bet t er gr ades t han her . Wer e t hey j eal ous of her somehow? Not l i kel y. How coul d t hat even be possi bl e? They wal ked ar ound t he school l i ke t hey owned t he pl ace. They wer e queen bees and t hey knew i t . They never i nvi t ed her t o par t i es; i t was a f l uke she ended up at t hi s one. Di d t hey suspect she t hought about t hem so much? Dar by l ook ed ar ound t he guest bedr oom. Dar by i magi ned what ki nd of peopl e had s t ayed i n t he bed. How many peopl e had had sex i n i t ? Af t er some t i me, Ki ah f ound her sel f i n t he f r ont yar d. Ki ah r an her f i nger s t hr ough t he wel l mani c ur ed gr ass, dr eami ng of bet t er days. She t hought about Ki ah. She want ed t hat wat ch. Not hi ng el se woul d do. I t was al most t oo much t o deal wi t h. Maybe i f t hey c oul d j ust be r eal wi t h each ot her f or once. . . Just t hi nki ng about i t made her want t o puke. The br eak f ast nook was empt y. Fi nal l y, Gal e t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. She st ar ed at t he j ui cer uncompr ehendi ngl y. She di dn' t gi ve i t a second t hought . She t hought about school , and how Phi l omena and Vi vi anna di dn' t have t o t r y har d t o be l i ked. How coul d t hat even be possi bl e? They wer e al ways l aughi ng wi t h t hei r per f ect f r i ends. Di d t hey suspect she t hought about t hem so much? The f r ont y ar d hel d t wo i t ems of i nt er est t o Vi vi anna: t he l awn and Di t a. Vi vi anna pl ayed ner vousl y wi t h her sweat er i n a successf ul bi d t o avoi d t al ki ng t o Di t a. Nobody was i n t he gr eat hal l , so Dar by f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. Dar by t ook of f her shoes, got a r unni ng s t ar t , a sl i d i n her socks down t he sl i ck har dwood f l oor s. She t hought about Vi vi anna. She want ed t hat bel t . Not hi ng el se woul d do. Maybe i f t hey coul d j ust be r eal wi t h each ot her f or once. . . Why di d ever yone want t o be l i ke her ? Ki ah f ound Di t a i n t he f r ont yar d. " Di t a, what di d you dr eam about l ast ni ght ?" asked Ki ah. Di t a seemed war y, but her f ace sof t ened. " I was on a cr ui se and i t was summer . A wai t er , Br andon, al ways br ought me i ce c r eam. Suddenl y ever ybody st ar t ed get t i ng si ck and
dyi ng, so I deci ded t o l eave t he boat bef or e I di ed. I swam f or a l ong t i me, and I got t o t hi s i sl and wi t h not hi ng but f r ui t t r ees. I l i ved t her e f or a whi l e, but I was l onel y al t hough I was ot her wi se happy. Then a r escue pl ane came and t ook me home. " The br eak f ast nook was empt y. Fi nal l y, Gal e t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. Gal e dr ank some j ui ce, f uck i t , r i ght ? Whose house even was t hi s? The mast er bedr oom was empt y. Fi nal l y, Phi l omena t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. " Wow, check out t hat t eak dr esser , " she sai d t o no one i n par t i cul ar . Thi ngs. The house was f ul l of t hi ngs. When she got ol d enough t o have a house, she' d own not hi ng. Vi vi anna l ooked ar ound t he gar age. Vi vi anna consi der ed get t i ng on t hat l awnmower and r i di ng i t out of t hi s pl ace. Af t er some t i me, Gal e f ound her sel f i n t he br eakf ast nook. Gal e dr ank some j ui ce, f uck i t , r i ght ? Whose house even was t hi s ? Di t a f ound Ki ah i n t he f oyer . " What ' s t he best damn t hi ng you' ve l ucked i nt o?" " ser i ousl y t hi s. " Di t a br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n s i ght s of t he l i vi ng r oom. Di t a bounced on t he sof a, hopi ng t o r ecapt ur e her chi l dhood i nnocence. Nobody was i n t he gar age, so Vi v i anna f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. Vi vi anna t r i ed t o j i mmy t he l ock on t he car and ended up set t i ng of f t he al ar m. Whoops. Dar by ent er ed t he gr eat hal l . Dar by st ar ed down t he hal l , whi ch seemed l onger t han i t had any r i ght t o be. Ki ah l ooked ar ound t he f r ont yar d. Ki ah st ar t ed t o cl i mb t he t r ee, t hen t hought bet t er of i t . Nobody was i n t he gr eat hal l , so Vi vi anna f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. Vi vi anna st ar ed down t he hal l , whi ch seemed l onger t han i t had any r i ght t o be. She t hought about Dar by. She l oved her so damn much. She want ed t hat coat . Not hi ng el se woul d do.
Nobody r eal l y knew how she f el t . Why di d ever yone want t o be l i ke her ? Ki ah br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he f oyer . Ki ah debat ed j ust l eavi ng t he house. " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he mast er bedr oom al l t o mysel f , " t hought Phi l omena. She dut i f ul l y avoi ded t he ki ng si zed bed out of some pr i mal r espect f or i t s ot her ness. Par t of her , a l ar ger par t t han she car ed t o admi t , want ed t o smash i t . She t hought about Di t a. Di t a and t hat i ncr edi bl e phone of her s. May be i f t hey coul d j ust be r eal wi t h each ot her f or once. . . The l i br ar y was empt y. Fi nal l y, Vi vi anna t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. Vi vi anna t r i ed and f ai l ed t o open t he l ock on t he desk. " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he gr eat hal l al l t o mysel f , " t hought Dar by. Dar by t ook of f her shoes, got a r unni ng st ar t , a sl i d i n her socks down t he sl i ck har dwood f l oor s. Nobody was i n t he back yar d, so Gal e f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. She not i c ed t he l awn f ur ni t ur e. Ki nda t acky. Thi ngs. The house was f ul l of t hi ngs. When she got ol d enough t o have a house, she' d own not hi ng. As Ki ah ent er ed t he di ni ng r oom, she saw Di t a maki ng t r oubl e. " Dr eams, " Ki ah sai d. " Tel l me about your dr eams. " Di t a al most sai d not hi ng, but t hought bet t er of i t . " I was wal ki ng down an al l ey when I came t o a cor ner ont o a bi g s t r eet . On t he cor ner i nsi de a bi g door a gi r l and boy wer e maki ng a mat t r ess. The gi r l hat ed me but t he boy was my f r i end and he came out t o t al k wi t h me. Then he hel d a model hel i copt er above hi s head and st ar t ed t o f l y, so I f ol l owed hi m. Then we sat on a r i dge comi ng out of a bui l di ng. He sai d he coul d f l y l i ke me now but not wi t hout t he hel i c opt er . Al l of a sudden t he r i dge we wer e on br oke, and we f el l . Then f ur t her down t he st r eet I saw a l ady i n a busi ness sui t comi ng t owar ds us. I st ar t ed t o r un, but she was abl e t o cat ch me. I t r i ed t o get away by f l yi ng but she was hol di ng ont o me so t i ght I coul d har dl y get of f t he gr ound. Then she t ook me t o a st or e t hat r emi nded me of Kor ea. Then she sai d I c oul d have anyt hi ng I want ed but I r ef used. Then t he peopl e f r om t he nor t h came by and got me away f r om t he l ady and t ook me s ki i ng i n some odd appar el . " Af t er some t i me, Dar by f ound her sel f i n t he guest bedr oom. Dar by guessed t hat t hi s was t he most bor i ng r oom i n t he house. She t hought about Dar by. She want ed t hat shi r t .
Not hi ng el se woul d do. Why coul dn' t she be mor e l i ke her ? Just t hi nki ng about i t made her want t o puke. Why di d she come t o t hi s st upi d house par t y i n t he f i r st pl ace? Gal e l ook ed ar ound t he gar age. The r i di ng l awnmower r emi nded her of her mot her . Bar f . Thi ngs. The house was f ul l of t hi ngs. When she got ol d enough t o have a house, she' d own not hi ng. She t hought about school , and how Gal e and Dar by never t al ked t o her . Why di d t hey l eave whenever she ent er ed a r oom? Wer e t hey j eal ous of her somehow? Not l i kel y. Di d t hey s ecr et l y l i ke her af t er al l ? I t di dn' t mat t er anyway. They wal ked ar ound t he school l i ke t hey owned t he pl ace. They never i nvi t ed her t o par t i es; i t was a f l uke she ended up at t hi s one. Phi l omena f ound Vi vi anna i n t he gr eat hal l . " Vi vi anna, what di d you dr eam about l ast ni ght ?" asked Phi l omena. Vi vi anna seemed war y, but her f ace sof t ened. " I was ski i ng al one at Badger Pass i n Yosemi t e and ever yone j ust di sappear ed, no one was t her e. I was al one and I f el t l ost , I got scar ed c ause i t st ar t ed snowi ng, t hen a bl i zzar d came and I st ar t ed maki ng a dome out of snow t o keep me war m, but i t di dn' t wor k. A bi g wi nd came and I f el t my t oes f r eezi ng ( and t hen I woke up wi t h a bi g j er k and I was sweat i ng) . " " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he ki t chen al l t o mysel f , " t hought Di t a. " Wow, check out t hat oven, " she sai d t o no one i n par t i c ul ar . She was hopi ng i t woul d di st r act her , i f f or some br i ef moment , f r om her l i f e. She t hought about Gal e. Gal e and t hat aquamar i ne ski r t of her s. May be i f t hey coul d j ust be r eal wi t h each ot her f or once. . . Why di d she come t o t hi s st upi d hous e par t y i n t he f i r st pl ace? Vi vi anna br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he guest bedr oom. The next t hi ng she saw was t he post er of a. . . Monet ?, whi ch l ef t her f eel i ng di squi et ed. She was hopi ng i t woul d di st r act her , i f f or some br i ef moment , f r om her l i f e. The gr eat hal l was empt y. Fi nal l y, Dar by t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. Dar by st ar ed down t he hal l , whi ch seemed l onger t han i t had any r i ght t o be. Af t er some t i me, Ki ah f ound her sel f i n t he l i vi ng r oom. The cof f ee t abl e r emi nded her of her mot her . Bar f . Par t of her , a l ar ger par t t han she car ed t o admi t , want ed t o smash i t . Nobody was i n t he ki t c hen, so Di t a f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. Di t a c hecked
t he f r i dge f or snacks. Nobody was i n t he guest bedr oom, so Vi vi anna f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. Vi vi anna guessed t hat t hi s was t he most bor i ng r oom i n t he house. She t hought about school , and how Ki ah and Di t a had mor e money t han she di d. Wer e t hey j eal ous of her somehow? Not l i kel y. They wal ked ar ound t he school l i ke t hey owned t he pl ace. They al ways got t hey want ed. Al ways. Dar by and Phi l omena r an i nt o each ot her i n t he gr eat hal l . Dar by pl ayed ner vousl y wi t h her coat i n a successf ul bi d t o avoi d t al ki ng t o Phi l omena. Ki ah ent er ed t he l i vi ng r oom. Ki ah t ur ned on t he TV f or a whi l e. " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he l i br ar y al l t o mysel f , " t hought Phi l omena. Phi l omena f l i pped t hr ough some book s. She t hought about school , and how Dar by and Ki ah got bet t er gr ades t han her . Wer e t hey j eal ous of her somehow? Not l i kel y. They wal ked ar ound t he school l i ke t hey owned t he pl ace. They wer e queen bees and t hey knew i t . They al ways got t hey want ed. Al ways. Di d t hey suspect she t hought about t hem so much? Nobody was i n t he guest bedr oom, so Vi vi anna f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. The next t hi ng she saw was t he bed, whi ch l ef t her f eel i ng di squi et ed. Par t of her , a l ar ger par t t han s he car ed t o admi t , want ed t o smash i t . The f oyer was empt y. Fi nal l y, Ki ah t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. Ki ah debat ed j ust l eavi ng t he house. Nobody was i n t he gr eat hal l , so Gal e f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. The next t hi ng she saw was t he t r i bal Af ghan r ug, whi ch l ef t her f eel i ng di squi et ed. Thi ngs. The house was f ul l of t hi ngs . When she got ol d enough t o have a house, she' d own not hi ng. Di t a br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n s i ght s of t he ki t chen. " Wow, check out t hat kni f e set , " she sai d t o no one i n par t i c ul ar . She was hopi ng i t woul d di st r act her , i f f or some br i ef moment , f r om her l i f e. Gal e ent er ed t he gr eat hal l . Vi vi anna was t her e, as i f wai t i ng. " What i s your f avour i t e
BASHMENT t une at t he moment ?" " Ever bl es sed. " Phi l omena ent er ed t he l i br ar y. Phi l omena f l i pped t hr ough some books. Di t a br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n s i ght s of t he br eakf ast nook. " Wow, check out t hat j ui cer , " she sai d t o no one i n par t i cul ar . Par t of her , a l ar ger par t t han she car ed t o admi t , want ed t o smash i t . The gr eat hal l hel d t wo i t ems of i nt er est t o Ki ah: t he t r i bal Af ghan r ug and Dar by. " Wher e di d y ou get t hat shi r t , Dar by?" Dar by i gnor ed her . Vi vi anna and Ki ah r an i nt o each ot her i n t he gr eat hal l . " What ' s t he best l unch per i od i n t ownshi ps?" Vi vi anna asked. " Lunch at nan and gr anddad' s. " Phi l omena wal ked i nt o t he gr eat hal l and saw Ki ah. Gr eat . Phi l omena eyed Ki ah' s f ashi onabl e pur se wi t h envy. The br eak f ast nook was empt y. Fi nal l y, Di t a t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. Di t a dr ank some j ui ce, f uck i t , r i ght ? Whose house even was t hi s? She t hought about Phi l omena. She l oved her so damn much. She want ed t hat phone. Not hi ng el se woul d do. I t was al most t oo much t o deal wi t h. Why di d ever yone want t o be l i ke her ? Why di d she come t o t hi s st upi d house par t y i n t he f i r st pl ace? Dar by ent er ed t he guest bedr oom. Dar by guessed t hat t hi s was t he most bor i ng r oom i n t he house. Vi vi anna ent er ed t he mast er bedr oom. Gal e was t her e, as i f wai t i ng. " Why woul d you msg me t hen not t el l me who you ar e?" i nqui r ed Vi vi anna. " because I l i ke t hem bet t er t hen you , " sai d Gal e. The ki t chen was empt y. Fi nal l y, Di t a t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. Di t a r i f l ed
t hr ough t he cabi net s f or al cohol . Nobody was i n t he gr eat hal l , so Dar by f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. Dar by t ook of f her shoes, got a r unni ng s t ar t , a sl i d i n her socks down t he sl i ck har dwood f l oor s. Ki ah ent er ed t he mast er bedr oom t o f i nd Gal e st andi ng t her e. Ki ah avoi ded Gal e. She t hought about Gal e. I t was al most t oo much t o deal wi t h. Maybe i f t hey coul d j ust be r eal wi t h each ot her f or once. . . Why di d ever yone want t o be l i ke her ? Why di d she come t o t hi s st upi d house par t y i n t he f i r st pl ac e? The mast er bedr oom hel d t wo i t ems of i nt er est t o Gal e: t he ki ng si zed bed and Phi l omena. " Wher e di d you get t hat phone, Phi l omena?" Phi l omena i gnor ed her . Di t a br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n s i ght s of t he back yar d. The next t hi ng she saw was t he gas gr i l l , whi ch l ef t her f eel i ng di squi et ed. She was hopi ng i t woul d di st r act her , i f f or some br i ef moment , f r om her l i f e. Vi vi anna and Phi l omena r an i nt o each ot her i n t he mast er bedr oom. Vi vi anna st ar ed at Phi l omena suspi ci ousl y. Dar by br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he bat hr oom. " Wow, check out t hat naut i cal t hemed shower cur t ai n, " she sai d t o no one i n par t i cul ar . Par t of her , a l ar ger par t t han she car ed t o admi t , want ed t o smash i t . Phi l omena ent er ed t he mast er bedr oom t o f i nd Vi vi anna st andi ng t her e. " why do you ni ggas hat e on QRC?" asked Phi l omena. Vi vi anna squi r med. " because I had sur ger y f uck ni ggas and I ai n' t r ob nobody I ' m not a t hi ef I get my own hop of f my di ck. " Phi l omena and Vi vi anna r an i nt o each ot her i n t he gr eat hal l . Vi vi anna st i f f ened and began t o r ambl e, not not i ci ng Phi l omena, as i f i n a f ugue st at e. " I was i n a cl assr oom wi t h t he r est of my cl as s ( 8t h gr ade) . St eve, our t eacher and pr i nci pal , was cal l i ng up, one by one, t he peopl e wi t h l ong hai r and cut t i ng t hei r hai r so t hat i t was about j awbone l engt h. I was t he l ast per son t o be cal l ed up. I r an away and t ucked my hai r i nt o my sweat shi r t so t hat i t
l ooked l i k e I had shor t hai r al r eady. Ever ybody l ooked at me l i ke I was j ust bei ng s t upi d, so I went over t o St eve. I had t o keep t el l i ng hi m not t o cut i t so shor t . I t seemed l i ke he f i nal l y cut i t j ust above shoul der l engt h. Then I was at home and l ooki ng i n t he mi r r or i n my r oom. My hai r was j ust bel ow shoul der l engt h. I wonder ed f or about 20 seconds about why he had cut i t shor t er . I f i gur ed I j ust di dn' t see wher e St eve cut my hai r . Then I not i ced t hat my hai r l ooked good at t hi s l engt h and l ooked at t he mi r r or f or a whi l e. " Af t er some t i me, Ki ah f ound her sel f i n t he l i br ar y. She not i ced t he mahogany wor k desk. Ki nda t acky. Why she not i ced i n t he f i r st pl ace was beyond her . Gal e ent er ed t he mast er bedr oom. She not i ced t he t eak dr esser . Ki nda t acky. Par t of her , a l ar ger par t t han she c ar ed t o admi t , want ed t o smash i t . Vi vi anna br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he bat hr oom. Vi vi anna r el i eved her sel f . Phi l omena encount er ed Dar by i n t he gr eat hal l . " What i s your f avour i t e BASHMENT t une at t he moment ?" " Ever bl es sed. " Af t er some t i me, Phi l omena f ound her sel f i n t he bat hr oom. Phi l omena j i ggl ed t he t oi l et handl e. The f r ont y ar d was empt y. Fi nal l y, Ki ah t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. Ki ah st ar t ed t o cl i mb t he t r ee, t hen t hought bet t er of i t . " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he gr eat hal l al l t o mysel f , " t hought Phi l omena. Phi l omena st ar ed down t he hal l , whi ch seemed l onger t han i t had any r i ght t o be. Af t er some t i me, Dar by f ound her sel f i n t he guest bedr oom. Dar by guessed t hat t hi s was t he most bor i ng r oom i n t he house. She t hought about Ki ah. Ki ah and t hat ost ent at i ous wat ch of her s. She want ed t hat wat ch. Not hi ng el se woul d do. Why coul dn' t she be mor e l i ke her ? Maybe i f t hey coul d j ust be r eal wi t h each ot her f or once. . . Nobody r eal l y knew how she f el t . Why di d ever yone want t o be l i ke her ? Just t hi nki ng about i t made her want t o
puke. Why di d she come t o t hi s st upi d house par t y i n t he f i r st pl ace? " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he f r ont yar d al l t o mysel f , " t hought Ki ah. The l awn r emi nded her of her mot her . Bar f . Thi ngs. The house was f ul l of t hi ngs. When she got ol d enough t o have a house, she' d own not hi ng. The mast er bat hr oom was empt y. Fi nal l y, Gal e t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. The bl onde ony x bat ht ub r emi nded her of her mot her . Bar f . She wi shed t he booze woul d ki ck i n. " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he l i br ar y al l t o mysel f , " t hought Phi l omena. Phi l omena f l i pped t hr ough some book s. The gr eat hal l was empt y. Fi nal l y, Dar by t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. She not i ced t he f ami l y por t r ai t . Ki nda t acky. She was hopi ng i t woul d di st r act her , i f f or some br i ef moment , f r om her l i f e. Af t er some t i me, Ki ah f ound her sel f i n t he f r ont yar d. Ki ah r an her f i nger s t hr ough t he wel l mani c ur ed gr ass, dr eami ng of bet t er days. Nobody was i n t he f oyer , so Phi l omena f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. The next t hi ng she saw was t he chandel i er , whi ch l ef t her f eel i ng di squi et ed. Why she not i ced i n t he f i r st pl ace was beyond her . Di t a ent er ed t he di ni ng r oom. The next t hi ng she saw was t he di ni ng r oom t abl e, whi ch l ef t her f eel i ng di squi et ed. She wi shed t he booze woul d ki ck i n. She t hought about Vi vi anna. Nobody r eal l y knew how she f el t . Why di d ever yone want t o be l i ke her ? Dar by ent er ed t he bat hr oom. Dar by l ooked ar ound f or t ampons, f i ndi ng none. She t hought about Ki ah. She want ed t hat wat ch. Not hi ng el se woul d do. Maybe i f t hey coul d j us t be r eal wi t h each ot her f or once. . . Why di d ever yone want t o be l i ke her ? Just t hi nki ng about i t made her want t o puke. Ki ah ent er ed t he f r ont y ar d. Ki ah r an her f i nger s t hr ough t he wel l mani cur ed gr ass, dr eami ng of bet t er days. She t hought about Phi l omena. Phi l omena and t hat f ashi onabl e scar f of her s. She hat ed her so damn much. She want ed t hat scar f . Not hi ng el se woul d do.
Why coul dn' t she be mor e l i ke her ? Nobody r eal l y knew how she f el t . Why di d ever yone want t o be l i ke her ? Nobody was i n t he bat hr oom, so Dar by f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. Dar by j i ggl ed t he t oi l et handl e. Ki ah f ound Phi l omena i n t he f r ont yar d. Ki ah avoi ded Phi l omena. The mast er bedr oom hel d t wo i t ems of i nt er est t o Vi vi anna: t he ki ng si zed bed and Gal e. Gal e encount er ed Vi vi anna i n t he mast er bedr oom. " why do you have an i Phone?" asked Gal e. Vi vi anna si ghed. " because I don’ t have my l i f epr oof case on my i Phone ( do I ever when I need i t . " The gar age was empt y. Fi nal l y, Phi l omena t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. Phi l omena cons i der ed get t i ng on t hat l awnmower and r i di ng i t out of t hi s pl ace. Di t a l ooked ar ound t he ki t chen. Di t a checked t he f r i dge f or snacks. Vi vi anna ent er ed t he mast er bat hr oom. The bl onde onyx t oi l et r emi nded her of her mot her . Bar f . She di dn' t gi ve i t a second t hought . " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he bat hr oom al l t o mysel f , " t hought Dar by . Dar by was af r ai d, as she al ways was, t hat a mur der er l ay i n ambush behi nd t he shower cur t ai n. Ki ah ent er ed t he f r ont y ar d. Ki ah s t ar t ed t o cl i mb t he t r ee, t hen t hought bet t er of i t . She t hought about Dar by. Dar by and t hat ost ent at i ous shi r t of her s. She want ed t hat coat . Not hi ng el se woul d do. Maybe i f t hey coul d j ust be r eal wi t h each ot her f or once. . . Nobody r eal l y knew how she f el t . Just t hi nki ng about i t made her want t o puke. The di ni ng r oom was empt y. Fi nal l y, Di t a t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. " Wow, chec k out t hat si l ver war e, " she sai d t o no one i n par t i cul ar . Par t of her , a l ar ger par t t han she car ed t o admi t , want ed t o smash i t .
Dar by wal k ed i nt o t he gr eat hal l and saw Phi l omena. Gr eat . " Wher e di d you get t hat phone, Phi l omena?" Phi l omena i gnor ed her . " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he f oyer al l t o mysel f , " t hought Ki ah. Ki ah debat ed j ust l eavi ng t he house. She t hought about school , and how Phi l omena and Vi vi anna di dn' t have t o t r y har d t o be l i ked. Why di d t hey l eave whenever she ent er ed a r oom? How coul d t hat even be possi bl e? They wer e queen bees and t hey knew i t . They never i nvi t ed her t o par t i es; i t was a f l uke she ended up at t hi s one. They al ways got t hey want ed. Al ways. Di d t hey suspect she t hought about t hem so much? Vi vi anna ent er ed t he mast er bedr oom t o f i nd Phi l omena st andi ng t her e. Vi vi anna pl ayed ner vousl y wi t h her sweat er i n a successf ul bi d t o avoi d t al ki ng t o Phi l omena. She t hought about school , and how Phi l omena and Vi vi anna wer e such t ot al bi t ches. They al way s got t hey want ed. Al ways. Nobody was i n t he f oyer , so Ki ah f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. Ki ah debat ed j ust l eavi ng t he house. She t hought about school , and how Di t a and Gal e t hought t hey wer e so much bet t er t han ever yone el se. Why di d t hey l eave whenever she ent er ed a r oom? Wer e t hey j eal ous of her somehow? Not l i kel y. How coul d t hat even be possi bl e? They never i nvi t ed her t o par t i es; i t was a f l uke she ended up at t hi s one. They al ways got t hey want ed. Al ways. Phi l omena ent er ed t he mast er bedr oom. She not i ced t he ki ng si zed bed. Ki nda t acky. She hear d a noi se f r om somewher e el se i n t he house. She t hought about school , and how Di t a and Dar by di dn' t have t o t r y har d t o be l i ked. Why di d t hey l eave whenever she ent er ed a r oom? How coul d t hat even be possi bl e? They wer e al ways l aughi ng wi t h t hei r per f ect f r i ends. They wal ked ar ound t he school l i ke t hey owned t he pl ace. They never i nvi t ed her t o par t i es; i t was a f l uke she ended up at t hi s one. They al ways got t hey want ed. Al ways. " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he back yar d al l t o mysel f , " t hought Di t a. The l awn f ur ni t ur e caught her eye. She t hought i t was t he ugl i es t t hi ng she' d ever seen. She di dn' t gi ve i t a second t hought .
Af t er some t i me, Ki ah f ound her sel f i n t he f oyer . " Wow, check out t hat chandel i er , " she sai d t o no one i n par t i cul ar . She di dn' t gi ve i t a second t hought . Dar by f ound Vi vi anna i n t he gr eat hal l . Dar by l ooked concer ned. " Why do you cont i nue t o send me pi ct ur es of your l ower r egi ons t hough?" she asked. " because I need si l l i ness t o keep me sane whi l e I cont i nue t o ( not ) do t hi s paper , " sai d Vi vi anna. Af t er some t i me, Di t a f ound her sel f i n t he ki t chen. She not i ced t he kni f e set . Ki nda t acky. Thi ngs. The house was f ul l of t hi ngs. When she got ol d enough t o have a house, she' d own not hi ng. Dar by ent er ed t he l i br ar y. The bookshel f caught her eye. She t hought i t was t he ugl i est t hi ng she' d ever seen. She wi shed t he booze woul d ki ck i n. Ki ah and Gal e r an i nt o each ot her i n t he f oyer . Ki ah l ooked concer ned. " what i s your f avour i t e Chr i st mas r ec or d?" she asked. " El f . " Nobody was i n t he ki t c hen, so Di t a f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. Di t a c hecked t he f r i dge f or snacks. She t hought about Gal e. Gal e and t hat aquamar i ne ski r t of her s. She hat ed her so damn much. I t was al most t oo much t o deal wi t h. Why di d ever yone want t o be l i ke her ? Just t hi nki ng about i t made her want t o puke. Why di d she come t o t hi s st upi d house par t y i n t he f i r st pl ace? Vi vi anna ent er ed t he gr eat hal l . Phi l omena was t her e, as i f wai t i ng. Vi vi anna eyed Phi l omena' s f ashi onabl e scar f wi t h envy. She t hought about school , and how Phi l omena and Vi vi anna got bet t er gr ades t han her . Why di d t hey l eave whenever she ent er ed a r oom? Wer e t hey j eal ous of her somehow? Not l i kel y. How coul d t hat even be possi bl e? They wer e al ways l aughi ng wi t h t hei r per f ect f r i ends. They wal ked ar ound t he school l i ke t hey owned t he pl ace. But l i f e was pr obabl y har d f or t hem t oo, i n i t s own way. I t al ways i s. The f oyer hel d t wo i t ems of i nt er est t o Ki ah: t he chandel i er and Gal e. " Wher e di d you get
t hat ski r t , Gal e?" Gal e i gnor ed her . Gal e and Dar by r an i nt o each ot her i n t he f oyer . Gal e eyed Dar by' s ost ent at i ous shi r t wi t h envy . " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he guest bedr oom al l t o mysel f , " t hought Phi l omena. She st ar ed at t he set of cur t ai ns uncompr ehendi ngl y. Why she not i ced i n t he f i r st pl ace was beyond her . Di t a br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n s i ght s of t he br eakf ast nook. Di t a dr ank some j ui ce, f uck i t , r i ght ? Whose house even was t hi s? Vi vi anna ent er ed t he gr eat hal l . Vi vi anna st ar ed down t he hal l , whi ch seemed l onger t han i t had any r i ght t o be. Ki ah ent er ed t he l i br ar y. Dar by was t her e, as i f wai t i ng. Dar by was cr yi ng. Ki ah act ed on i nst i nct . " Tel l me al l about i t . " she sai d. Dar by obl i ged i n an unbecomi ng out pour i ng. " ( si c) . I n my dr eam, I woke up and t ook a shower , made my l unch and at e br eakf ast . Then my br ot her t ol d me t hat I was goi ng wi t h mom and t hat I coul d sl eep i n l at e. I woke up. " " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he f r ont yar d al l t o mysel f , " t hought Gal e. Gal e r an her f i nger s t hr ough t he wel l mani c ur ed gr ass, dr eami ng of bet t er days. Af t er some t i me, Phi l omena f ound her sel f i n t he guest bedr oom. Phi l omena i magi ned what ki nd of peopl e had st ayed i n t he bed. How many peopl e had had sex i n i t ? She t hought about Ki ah. Ki ah and t hat f ashi onabl e pur se of her s. She want ed t hat pur se. Not hi ng el se woul d do. I t was al most t oo much t o deal wi t h. Why coul dn' t she be mor e l i ke her ? Maybe i f t hey coul d j ust be r eal wi t h each ot her f or once. . . Nobody r eal l y knew how she f el t . Why di d ever yone want t o be l i ke her ? Af t er some t i me, Di t a f ound her sel f i n t he br eakf ast nook. She dut i f ul l y avoi ded t he t oast er out of some pr i mal r espect f or i t s ot her ness. She was hopi ng i t woul d di st r act her , i f f or some br i ef moment , f r om her l i f e. She t hought about Dar by. Dar by and t hat emer al d coat of her s. She hat ed her so damn much. Maybe i f t hey coul d j us t be r eal wi t h each ot her f or once. . . Nobody r eal l y knew how she f el t . Why di d ever yone want t o be l i ke her ? Why di d
she come t o t hi s st upi d house par t y i n t he f i r st pl ace? The gr eat hal l was empt y. Fi nal l y, Vi vi anna t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. She not i c ed t he t r i bal Af ghan r ug. Ki nda t acky. She was hopi ng i t woul d di st r act her , i f f or some br i ef moment , f r om her l i f e. " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he f oyer al l t o mysel f , " t hought Dar by. She dut i f ul l y avoi ded t he s i de t abl e out of some pr i mal r espect f or i t s ot her ness. She di dn' t gi ve i t a second t hought . Ki ah br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he l i br ar y. Ki ah f l i pped t hr ough some books. Gal e ent er ed t he f r ont yar d. Gal e st ar t ed t o cl i mb t he t r ee, t hen t hought bet t er of i t . The br eak f ast nook was empt y. Fi nal l y, Di t a t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. The next t hi ng she saw was t he t abl e, whi ch l ef t her f eel i ng di squi et ed. She wi shed t he booze woul d ki ck i n. The f oyer was empt y. Fi nal l y, Dar by t hought , somewher e s he coul d t hi nk. " Wow, check out t hat chandel i er , " she sai d t o no one i n par t i cul ar . She wi shed t he booze woul d ki ck i n. Phi l omena and Vi vi anna r an i nt o each ot her i n t he mast er bedr oom. Vi vi anna st i f f ened and began t o r ambl e, not not i ci ng Phi l omena, as i f i n a f ugue st at e. " I was Oksana Bai ul and I was i ce skat i ng wi t h Kat ar i na Wi t t . We deci ded t o go t o anot her r i nk, but when we got t her e i t was t oo s mal l t o skat e on. Suddenl y I became mysel f al ong wi t h my f ami l y and we wer e st ayi ng at a house by t he r i nk. I ns i de t he house, t her e wer e mi l l i ons of sweet s. " The ki t chen was empt y. Fi nal l y, Di t a t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. She dut i f ul l y avoi ded t he oven out of some pr i mal r espect f or i t s ot her ness. Par t of her , a l ar ger par t t han she car ed t o admi t , want ed t o smash i t . She t hought about Phi l omena. She l oved her so damn much. She want ed t hat phone. Not hi ng el se woul d do. Nobody r eal l y knew how she f el t . Why di d ever yone want t o be l i ke her ? Why di d she come t o t hi s st upi d house par t y i n t he f i r st pl ace? Dar by ent er ed t he l i br ar y. Dar by f l i pped t hr ough some books. Ki ah br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he gr eat hal l . Ki ah st ar ed down t he hal l , whi ch
seemed l onger t han i t had any r i ght t o be. The gr eat hal l was empt y. Fi nal l y, Phi l omena t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. Phi l omena t ook of f her shoes, got a r unni ng st ar t , a sl i d i n her socks down t he sl i ck har dwood f l oor s. Nobody was i n t he br eakf ast nook , so Di t a f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. Di t a dr ank some j ui ce, f uck i t , r i ght ? Whose house even was t hi s? Nobody was i n t he f oyer , so Dar by f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. " Wow, check out t hat chandel i er , " she sai d t o no one i n par t i cul ar . Thi ngs. The house was f ul l of t hi ngs. When she got ol d enough t o have a house, she' d own not hi ng. The gar age was empt y. Fi nal l y, Gal e t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. The r i di ng l awnmower caught her eye. She t hought i t was t he ugl i est t hi ng she' d ever seen. Par t of her , a l ar ger par t t han she car ed t o admi t , want ed t o smash i t . Phi l omena ent er ed t he guest bedr oom. Phi l omena i magi ned what ki nd of peopl e had st ayed i n t he bed. How many peopl e had had sex i n i t ? She t hought about Dar by. I t was al most t oo much t o deal wi t h. Maybe i f t hey coul d j ust be r eal wi t h each ot her f or once. . . Just t hi nki ng about i t made her want t o puke. Di t a ent er ed t he ki t chen. She dut i f ul l y avoi ded t he kni f e set out of some pr i mal r espect f or i t s ot her ness. She hear d a noi se f r om somewher e el se i n t he house. Dar by l ook ed ar ound t he f oyer . Dar by debat ed j ust l eavi ng t he house. She t hought about school , and how Phi l omena and Di t a wer e such t ot al bi t ches. Why di d t hey l eave whenever she ent er ed a r oom? Wer e t hey j eal ous of her somehow? Not l i kel y. They wer e al ways l aughi ng wi t h t hei r per f ect f r i ends. They al ways got t hey want ed. Al ways. Ki ah br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he mast er bat hr oom. She st ar ed at t he bl onde onyx f l oor i ng uncompr ehendi ngl y. She was hopi ng i t woul d di st r act her , i f f or some br i ef moment , f r om her l i f e. The gr eat hal l was empt y. Fi nal l y, Gal e t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. Gal e t ook of f
her shoes , got a r unni ng st ar t , a s l i d i n her socks down t he sl i ck har dwood f l oor s. She t hought about Vi vi anna. I t was al most t oo much t o deal wi t h. Why coul dn' t she be mor e l i ke her ? Nobody r eal l y knew how she f el t . Why di d ever yone want t o be l i ke her ? Af t er some t i me, Phi l omena f ound her sel f i n t he guest bedr oom. Phi l omena i magi ned what ki nd of peopl e had st ayed i n t he bed. How many peopl e had had sex i n i t ? Af t er some t i me, Di t a f ound her sel f i n t he back yar d. The l awn f ur ni t ur e caught her eye. She t hought i t was t he ugl i est t hi ng she' d ever seen. Thi ngs. The house was f ul l of t hi ngs. When she got ol d enough t o have a hous e, she' d own not hi ng. " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he f oyer al l t o mysel f , " t hought Dar by. The si de t abl e r emi nded her of her mot her . Bar f . She di dn' t gi ve i t a second t hought . She t hought about Ki ah. She want ed t hat wat ch. Not hi ng el se woul d do. The bat hr oom was empt y. Fi nal l y, Gal e t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. Gal e l ooked ar ound f or t ampons, f i ndi ng none. The gr eat hal l was empt y. Fi nal l y, Phi l omena t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. Phi l omena t ook of f her shoes, got a r unni ng st ar t , a sl i d i n her socks down t he sl i ck har dwood f l oor s. Af t er some t i me, Dar by f ound her sel f i n t he l i vi ng r oom. The cof f ee t abl e caught her eye. She t hought i t was t he ugl i est t hi ng she' d ever seen. She hear d a noi se f r om somewher e el se i n t he house. The mast er bedr oom hel d t wo i t ems of i nt er est t o Phi l omena: t he t eak dr esser and Vi vi anna. Phi l omena pl ayed ner vousl y wi t h her scar f i n a successf ul bi d t o avoi d t al ki ng t o Vi vi anna. She t hought about Vi vi anna. She l oved her so damn much. I t was al mos t t oo much t o deal wi t h. Maybe i f t hey c oul d j ust be r eal wi t h eac h ot her f or once. . . Why di d ever yone want t o be l i ke her ? Af t er some t i me, Di t a f ound her sel f i n t he ki t chen. The kni f e set caught her eye. She t hought i t was t he ugl i est t hi ng she' d ever seen. She was hopi ng i t woul d di st r act her , i f f or some
br i ef moment , f r om her l i f e. The mast er bat hr oom was empt y. Fi nal l y, Ki ah t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk . The bl onde ony x count er t op caught her eye. She t hought i t was t he ugl i est t hi ng she' d ever seen. Thi ngs. The house was f ul l of t hi ngs. When she got ol d enough t o have a house, she' d own not hi ng. Di t a ent er ed t he cl oset . Di t a sur r ept i ci ousl y r ear r anged t he suppl i es. Nobody was i n t he mast er bedr oom, so Ki ah f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. The next t hi ng she saw was t he t eak dr esser , whi ch l ef t her f eel i ng di squi et ed. Par t of her , a l ar ger par t t han she car ed t o admi t , want ed t o smash i t . Gal e ent er ed t he gr eat hal l . Vi vi anna was t her e, as i f wai t i ng. " What i s t he best way t o wash wool ?" asked Gal e. Vi vi anna l aughed. " Not post i ng any t hi ng about your r el at i onshi p. " Vi vi anna ent er ed t he gr eat hal l . Gal e was t her e, as i f wai t i ng. Vi vi anna avoi ded Gal e. " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he f oyer al l t o mysel f , " t hought Dar by. The chandel i er r emi nded her of her mot her . Bar f . She wi shed t he booze woul d ki ck i n. Ki ah ent er ed t he gr eat hal l t o f i nd Gal e st andi ng t her e. Ki ah st ar ed at Gal e suspi ci ousl y. Phi l omena wal ked i nt o t he f oyer and saw Dar by. Gr eat . Dar by l ooked di r ect l y at Phi l omena. " I had t he wei r dest dr eam, " she sai d. " I was put t i ng on my makeup and I was j ust about f i ni shed when suddenl y i t al l t ur ned i nt o mud. I went t o wash i t of f but i t woul dn' t come of f . " The cl oset was empt y. Fi nal l y, Di t a t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. Di t a sur r ept i ci ousl y r ear r anged t he suppl i es. Ki ah encount er ed Vi vi anna i n t he gr eat hal l . Ki ah seemed concer ned. " why do you hos st i l l t r y t o t al k t o t hem ?" she asked.
Vi vi anna chuckl ed. " because I ' m s t i l l ver y much i n l ove. " Nobody was i n t he l i br ar y, so Phi l omena f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. Phi l omena f l i pped t hr ough some books. She t hought about Vi vi anna. She l i ked her so damn muc h. She want ed t hat bel t . Not hi ng el se woul d do. Why coul dn' t she be mor e l i ke her ? Why di d ever yone want t o be l i ke her ? Just t hi nki ng about i t made her want t o puke. Why di d she come t o t hi s st upi d house par t y i n t he f i r st pl ace? Af t er some t i me, Vi vi anna f ound her sel f i n t he bat hr oom. Vi vi anna was af r ai d, as she al ways was, t hat a mur der er l ay i n ambush behi nd t he shower cur t ai n. Dar by l ook ed ar ound t he f oyer . Dar by debat ed j ust l eavi ng t he house. The l i br ar y was empt y. Fi nal l y, Phi l omena t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. Phi l omena f l i pped t hr ough some books. She t hought about Vi vi anna. Vi vi anna and t hat aquamar i ne sweat er of her s. She l i k ed her so damn much. She want ed t hat bel t . Not hi ng el se woul d do. Why di d ev er yone want t o be l i ke her ? Just t hi nki ng about i t made her want t o puk e. " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he ki t chen al l t o mysel f , " t hought Di t a. She dut i f ul l y avoi ded t he oven out of some pr i mal r espect f or i t s ot her ness. She wi shed t he booze woul d ki ck i n. Nobody was i n t he f oyer , so Dar by f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. Dar by debat ed j ust l eavi ng t he house. Gal e ent er ed t he gr eat hal l . Gal e t ook of f her shoes, got a r unni ng st ar t , a sl i d i n her socks down t he sl i ck har dwood f l oor s. She t hought about Vi vi anna. I t was al most t oo muc h t o deal wi t h. Why di d ever yone want t o be l i ke her ? Why di d she come t o t hi s st upi d house par t y i n t he f i r st pl ace? Nobody was i n t he f oyer , so Phi l omena f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. Phi l omena debat ed j us t l eavi ng t he house. Nobody was i n t he ki t c hen, so Di t a f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. Di t a c hecked t he f r i dge f or snacks.
Vi vi anna br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he gr eat hal l . Vi vi anna t ook of f her shoes, got a r unni ng st ar t , a sl i d i n her socks down t he sl i ck har dwood f l oor s. Gal e br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he mast er bedr oom. " Wow, check out t hat t eak dr esser , " she sai d t o no one i n par t i cul ar . Why she not i ced i n t he f i r st pl ace was beyond her . Di t a l ooked ar ound t he br eakf ast nook. She dut i f ul l y avoi ded t he t abl e out of some pr i mal r espect f or i t s ot her ness. Thi ngs. The house was f ul l of t hi ngs. When she got ol d enough t o have a house, she' d own not hi ng. Vi vi anna wal ked i nt o t he gr eat hal l and saw Gal e. Gr eat . Vi vi anna eyed Gal e' s t eal shi r t wi t h envy . Dar by wal k ed i nt o t he f r ont yar d and saw Phi l omena. Gr eat . " Wher e di d you get t hat phone, Phi l omena?" Phi l omena i gnor ed her . Gal e ent er ed t he gr eat hal l t o f i nd Vi vi anna st andi ng t her e. " What i s your f avor i t e c ar t o wor k on, and why?" Vi vi anna yawned. " BMW X5my f avour i t e car , whi ch i s . " The gar age was empt y. Fi nal l y, Phi l omena t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. Phi l omena peer ed i n t he car door f or some ki nd of cl ue as t o whose house t hi s was. Af t er some t i me, Di t a f ound her sel f i n t he ki t chen. She st ar ed at t he kni f e set uncompr ehendi ngl y. Why she not i ced i n t he f i r st pl ace was beyond her . Dar by l ook ed ar ound t he f r ont yar d. Dar by st ar t ed t o cl i mb t he t r ee, t hen t hought bet t er of i t . She t hought about Gal e. Gal e and t hat t eal shi r t of her s. She l oved her so damn much. She want ed t hat ski r t . Not hi ng el se woul d do. Nobody r eal l y knew how she f el t . Why di d ever yone want t o be l i ke her ? Jus t t hi nki ng about i t made her want t o puke. Why di d she come t o t hi s st upi d house par t y i n t he f i r st pl ace? Vi vi anna wal ked i nt o t he gr eat hal l and saw Ki ah. Gr eat . Vi v i anna appear ed cr oss. " why do
you t hi nk you' r e so t ough?" she asked. Ki ah yel l ed. " because I don' t t hi nk so honey. " Nobody was i n t he gar age, so Phi l omena f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. Phi l omena consi der ed get t i ng on t hat l awnmower and r i di ng i t out of t hi s pl ace. She t hought about Gal e. She want ed t hat ski r t . Not hi ng el se woul d do. Why di d ever yone want t o be l i ke her ? Why di d she come t o t hi s st upi d house par t y i n t he f i r st pl ace? Nobody was i n t he f r ont yar d, so Dar by f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. Dar by r an her f i nger s t hr ough t he wel l mani cur ed gr ass, dr eami ng of bet t er days. Ki ah ent er ed t he gr eat hal l . Vi vi anna was t her e, as i f wai t i ng. Ki ah avoi ded Vi vi anna. She t hought about school , and how Vi vi anna and Gal e got bet t er gr ades t han her . They wer e al ways l aughi ng wi t h t hei r per f ect f r i ends. They wal ked ar ound t he school l i ke t hey owned t he pl ace. They wer e queen bees and t hey knew i t . Di d t hey suspect she t hought about t hem so much? Phi l omena ent er ed t he f r ont yar d t o f i nd Dar by st andi ng t her e. Dar by l ooked di r ect l y at Phi l omena. " I had t he wei r dest dr eam, " she sai d. " I had j ust spent t he ni ght over at my best f r i end' s house and we wer e waki ng up on a gor geous spr i ng mor ni ng. She had t o go t o school , but I di dn' t , so I want ed t o go wi t h her . She l i ves l ess t han a bl ock away f r om her school , and I was j eal ous t hat she coul d wake up at 7: 30 and make i t t o school by 8. I was shav i ng my l egs wi t h her el ect r i c r azor and t hen we went i nt o her back yar d and went swi mmi ng i n t he cool wat er . " The l i vi ng r oom was empt y. Fi nal l y, Di t a t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. Di t a bounced on t he sof a, hopi ng t o r ecapt ur e her chi l dhood i nnocence. Dar by ent er ed t he f r ont yar d. Phi l omena was t her e, as i f wai t i ng. Dar by st ar ed at Phi l omena suspi ci ousl y. She t hought about Phi l omena. She envi ed her so damn much. She want ed t hat phone. Not hi ng el se woul d do. Why coul dn' t she be mor e l i ke her ? Why di d ever yone want t o be l i ke her ? Just t hi nki ng about i t made her want t o puke. Ki ah f ound Vi vi anna i n t he bat hr oom. Ki ah eyed Vi vi anna' s aquamar i ne sweat er wi t h envy.
Gal e ent er ed t he l i br ar y . The bookshel f r emi nded her of her mot her . Bar f . Par t of her , a l ar ger par t t han she car ed t o admi t , want ed t o smash i t . " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he l i vi ng r oom al l t o mysel f , " t hought Phi l omena. Phi l omena t ur ned on t he TV f or a whi l e. Dar by ent er ed t he f oyer . Dar by debat ed j ust l eavi ng t he house. Vi vi anna encount er ed Ki ah i n t he gr eat hal l . " What i s your f avour i t e heal t hy meal t o make dur i ng t he wor k week?" " sal ad. " Ki ah ent er ed t he gr eat hal l t o f i nd Gal e st andi ng t her e. " what ' s your f avour i t e song?" asked Ki ah. " Al l bad. " Vi vi anna wal ked i nt o t he gr eat hal l and saw Gal e. Gr eat . Gal e l ooked di r ect l y at Vi vi anna. " I had t he wei r dest dr eam, " she sai d. " I was wi t h my f ami l y. We went t o buy somet hi ng at a st or e and I f ound t hi s CD I ki nd of want ed so I put i t i n a bag. Then I t r i ed on t hese ugl y r ai nbow col or ed shoes . I put t hese i n a bag. Lat er , we' r e dr i vi ng and I see t hat I have st ol en bot h t hese t hi ngs, whi ch I di dn' t mean t o do. Then we see some bl ack gangst er s f i ght i ng and my mom si ghs, " pl ease don' t st ar t . " Then t hey st ar t punchi ng peopl e out and Tupac get s r ol l ed i n f r ont of our car & st ar t s scr eami ng somet hi ng at us. " Dar by br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he f oyer . She st ar ed at t he si de t abl e uncompr ehendi ngl y. Par t of her , a l ar ger par t t han she car ed t o admi t , want ed t o s mash i t . " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he l i br ar y al l t o mysel f , " t hought Ki ah. She dut i f ul l y avoi ded t he mahogany wor k desk out of some pr i mal r espect f or i t s ot her ness. Why she not i ced i n t he f i r st pl ace was beyond her . She t hought about Dar by. Dar by and t hat emer al d coat of her s. I t was al most t oo much t o deal wi t h. Why coul dn' t she be mor e l i ke her ? Maybe i f t hey coul d j ust be r eal wi t h each ot her f or once. . . Nobody r eal l y knew how she f el t . Why di d ever y one want t o be l i ke her ? Just t hi nki ng about i t made her want t o puke. Why di d she come t o t hi s
st upi d house par t y i n t he f i r st pl ac e? Di t a ent er ed t he l i vi ng r oom. Phi l omena was t her e, as i f wai t i ng. " what i s t he best k i nd of pi zza f r om l eo' s?" asked Di t a. " musi c t hat gi ves you c hi l l s, " sai d Phi l omena. Af t er some t i me, Phi l omena f ound her sel f i n t he l i vi ng r oom. Phi l omena bounced on t he sof a, hopi ng t o r ecapt ur e her chi l dhood i nnocence. Di t a ent er ed t he f oyer t o f i nd Dar by st andi ng t her e. Vi vi anna ent er ed t he l i br ar y t o f i nd Ki ah st andi ng t her e. " Why do you get so cl ose t o peopl e when you' r e j ust gonna wal k out when i t get s har d?" Ki ah squi r med. " because I don' t want t o annoy peopl e wi t h my pr obl ems. " Ki ah encount er ed Vi vi anna i n t he l i br ar y. " What i s your f avor i t e Thanksgi vi ng di sh?" " Lasagna. " Phi l omena wal ked i nt o t he l i vi ng r oom and saw Di t a. Gr eat . Di t a was cr yi ng. Phi l omena act ed on i nst i nct . " Tel l me al l about i t . " she sai d. Di t a obl i ged i n an unbecomi ng out pour i ng. " I was si t t i ng i n a r est aur ant when t hr ee men came i n and st ar t ed r obbi ng t he pl ace. Ever yone s cr eamed and t hey shot one per son. They l ay on t he f l oor , bl ood st r eami ng out of t hem. I st ood t her e and I di dn' t know what t o do, so I st ar t ed scr eami ng and t hey t r i ed t o shoot me but bul l et s bounced of f , and t hey wer e unar med. Peopl e came and hel d t hem unt i l t he pol i ce came. " Vi vi anna ent er ed t he gr eat hal l . Vi vi anna st ar ed down t he hal l , whi ch seemed l onger t han i t had any r i ght t o be. Nobody was i n t he f oyer , so Dar by f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. Dar by debat ed j ust l eavi ng t he house. Phi l omena ent er ed t he f oyer . Dar by was t her e, as i f wai t i ng. Phi l omena eyed Dar by' s
emer al d c oat wi t h envy. She t hought about Dar by. She l i ked her so damn much. She want ed t hat shi r t . Not hi ng el se woul d do. Nobody r eal l y knew how she f el t . Why di d ever yone want t o be l i ke her ? Jus t t hi nki ng about i t made her want t o puke. Why di d she come t o t hi s st upi d house par t y i n t he f i r st pl ace? Nobody was i n t he f r ont yar d, so Di t a f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. Di t a r an her f i nger s t hr ough t he wel l mani cur ed gr ass, dr eami ng of bet t er days. Af t er some t i me, Vi vi anna f ound her sel f i n t he gr eat hal l . She st ar ed at t he t r i bal Af ghan r ug uncompr ehendi ngl y. She wi shed t he booze woul d ki ck i n. Nobody was i n t he l i br ar y, so Ki ah f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. The mahogany wor k desk r emi nded her of her mot her . Bar f . Thi ngs. The house was f ul l of t hi ngs. When she got ol d enough t o have a house, she' d own not hi ng. She t hought about Ki ah. May be i f t hey coul d j ust be r eal wi t h each ot her f or once. . . Gal e l ook ed ar ound t he mast er bat hr oom. The next t hi ng she saw was t he bl onde onyx f l oor i ng, whi ch l ef t her f eel i ng di squi et ed. She was hopi ng i t woul d di st r act her , i f f or some br i ef moment , f r om her l i f e. Di t a ent er ed t he f r ont yar d. Di t a r an her f i nger s t hr ough t he wel l mani cur ed gr ass, dr eami ng of bet t er days. She t hought about Dar by. Maybe i f t hey coul d j ust be r eal wi t h each ot her f or once. . . Why di d she come t o t hi s s t upi d house par t y i n t he f i r st pl ace? Vi vi anna l ooked ar ound t he bat hr oom. The t oi l et caught her eye. She t hought i t was t he ugl i est t hi ng she' d ever seen. She hear d a noi se f r om somewher e el se i n t he hous e. She t hought about Gal e. She want ed t hat shi r t . Not hi ng el se woul d do. Why coul dn' t she be mor e l i ke her ? Maybe i f t hey coul d j ust be r eal wi t h each ot her f or once. . . Why di d ever yone want t o be l i ke her ? Just t hi nki ng about i t made her want t o puke. Why di d she come t o t hi s st upi d house par t y i n t he f i r st pl ac e? Dar by f ound Phi l omena i n t he f oyer . Dar by avoi ded Phi l omena. Af t er some t i me, Ki ah f ound her sel f i n t he l i br ar y. Ki ah t r i ed and f ai l ed t o open t he l ock on
t he desk. Nobody was i n t he l i vi ng r oom, so Phi l omena f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. Phi l omena t ur ned on t he TV f or a whi l e. " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he f r ont yar d al l t o mysel f , " t hought Di t a. Di t a r an her f i nger s t hr ough t he wel l mani c ur ed gr ass, dr eami ng of bet t er days. She t hought about school , and how Gal e and Dar by t hought t hey wer e so much bet t er t han ever yone el se. How coul d t hat even be poss i bl e? Di d t hey secr et l y l i ke her af t er al l ? I t di dn' t mat t er anyway. They wer e al ways l aughi ng wi t h t hei r per f ect f r i ends. They wal ked ar ound t he school l i ke t hey owned t he pl ace. They wer e queen bees and t hey knew i t . " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he bat hr oom al l t o mysel f , " t hought Vi vi anna. She st ar ed at t he t oi l et uncompr ehendi ngl y. She hear d a noi se f r om somewher e el se i n t he house. Dar by encount er ed Ki ah i n t he f oy er . " What ' s your f avor i t e epi sode of Ji mmy Neut r on ?" Dar by i nqui r ed. " DAMN THI S I S . " Nobody was i n t he gr eat hal l , so Vi vi anna f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. Vi vi anna st ar ed down t he hal l , whi ch seemed l onger t han i t had any r i ght t o be. Ki ah l ooked ar ound t he f oyer . She not i ced t he chandel i er . Ki nda t acky. Why she not i ced i n t he f i r st pl ace was beyond her . Dar by wal k ed i nt o t he l i vi ng r oom and saw Di t a. Gr eat . Dar by appear ed angr y. " why do you l i ve a mi l l i on mi l es away?" she demanded. " because I get t o wor k l i ke a mi l l i on hour s and I ' m gonna get t ons of gas money, " sai d Di t a. As Di t a ent er ed t he l i vi ng r oom, she saw Dar by maki ng t r oubl e. Di t a st ar ed at Dar by suspi ci ous l y. Dar by f ound Di t a i n t he l i vi ng r oom. Dar by pl ayed ner vousl y wi t h her shi r t i n a successf ul
bi d t o avoi d t al ki ng t o Di t a. Ki ah and Phi l omena r an i nt o each ot her i n t he f oyer . " why woul d you name your chi l d af t er a r ash?" demanded Ki ah. Phi l omena yawned. " because i was a onl y chi l d f or so l ong. " Gal e wal k ed i nt o t he mast er bedr oom and saw Vi vi anna. Gr eat . " Why do you peopl e t hi nk t hat i am a Cel ebr i t y?" Gal e i nqui r ed. Vi vi anna chuckl ed. " because I ' m a cel ebr i t y st ar t s. " Vi vi anna ent er ed t he mast er bedr oom. She not i ced t he ki ng si zed bed. Ki nda t acky. She di dn' t gi ve i t a second t hought . Dar by br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he f r ont yar d. Dar by st ar t ed t o cl i mb t he t r ee, t hen t hought bet t er of i t . " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he l i br ar y al l t o mysel f , " t hought Di t a. She st ar ed at t he mahogany wor k desk uncompr ehendi ngl y. She was hopi ng i t woul d di st r act her , i f f or some br i ef moment , f r om her l i f e. She t hought about Ki ah. Ki ah and t hat ost ent at i ous wat ch of her s. She want ed t hat wat ch. Not hi ng el se woul d do. I t was al most t oo much t o deal wi t h. Why coul dn' t she be mor e l i ke her ? Why di d ever yone want t o be l i ke her ? Vi vi anna br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he gr eat hal l . She dut i f ul l y avoi ded t he f ami l y por t r ai t out of some pr i mal r espect f or i t s ot her ness. Thi ngs. The house was f ul l of t hi ngs. When she got ol d enough t o have a house, she' d own not hi ng. Dar by and Ki ah r an i nt o each ot her i n t he f r ont yar d. " Wher e di d you get t hat wat ch, Ki ah?" Ki ah i gnor ed her . Vi vi anna l ooked ar ound t he guest bedr oom. Vi vi anna i magi ned what ki nd of peopl e had st ayed i n t he bed. How many peopl e had had sex i n i t ? The l i vi ng r oom was empt y. Fi nal l y, Dar by t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. " Wow, chec k out t hat f l at scr een TV, " she sai d t o no one i n par t i cul ar . Thi ngs. The house was f ul l of
t hi ngs. When she got ol d enough t o have a house, she' d own not hi ng. The gr eat hal l was empt y. Fi nal l y, Gal e t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. Gal e st ar ed down t he hal l , whi ch seemed l onger t han i t had any r i ght t o be. She t hought about Ki ah. Ki ah and t hat f ashi onabl e pur se of her s. She envi ed her so damn much. Why coul dn' t she be mor e l i ke her ? Why di d ever yone want t o be l i ke her ? The l i vi ng r oom hel d t wo i t ems of i nt er est t o Phi l omena: t he cof f ee t abl e and Ki ah. Phi l omena st ar ed at Ki ah suspi ci ousl y. The f oyer was empt y. Fi nal l y, Di t a t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. The next t hi ng she saw was t he si de t abl e, whi ch l ef t her f eel i ng di squi et ed. She was hopi ng i t woul d di st r act her , i f f or some br i ef moment , f r om her l i f e. The f r ont y ar d was empt y. Fi nal l y, Dar by t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. Dar by r an her f i nger s t hr ough t he wel l mani cur ed gr ass, dr eami ng of bet t er days. " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he bat hr oom al l t o mysel f , " t hought Gal e. Gal e j i ggl ed t he t oi l et handl e. She t hought about school , and how Gal e and Vi vi anna wer e such t ot al bi t ches. Wer e t hey j eal ous of her somehow? Not l i kel y. They wer e al ways l aughi ng wi t h t hei r per f ect f r i ends. They al ways got t hey want ed. Al ways. Phi l omena l ooked ar ound t he l i vi ng r oom. Phi l omena bounced on t he sof a, hopi ng t o r ecapt ur e her chi l dhood i nnocence. Di t a and Ki ah r an i nt o each ot her i n t he f oyer . Di t a pl ayed ner vousl y wi t h her phone i n a successf ul bi d t o avoi d t al ki ng t o Ki ah. Vi vi anna and Gal e r an i nt o each ot her i n t he gr eat hal l . " Gal e, what di d you dr eam about l ast ni ght ?" asked Vi vi anna. Gal e seemed war y, but her f ace s of t ened. " Mel i ssa and I went t o a Beat l es concer t at Sand Har bor . Onl l y t he st age was i n a di f f er ent spot . Ther e was t hi s cabi n wher e you get t i cket s and we' r e l ooki ng f or my mom t o get a bl anket t o si t down on. We wer e j ust wal ki ng ar ound and t hen t her e was a pause wher e not hi ng happened. Then t he dr eam ended. " Af t er some t i me, Dar by f ound her sel f i n t he f r ont yar d. Dar by st ar t ed t o cl i mb t he t r ee, t hen
t hought bet t er of i t . Dar by ent er ed t he f r ont yar d. Dar by st ar t ed t o cl i mb t he t r ee, t hen t hought bet t er of i t . As Ki ah ent er ed t he f oy er , she saw Di t a maki ng t r oubl e. Ki ah st ar ed at Di t a suspi ci ousl y. Gal e l ook ed ar ound t he gr eat hal l . The f ami l y por t r ai t caught her eye. She t hought i t was t he ugl i est t hi ng she' d ever seen. Why she not i ced i n t he f i r st pl ace was beyond her . " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he di ni ng r oom al l t o mysel f , " t hought Phi l omena. She not i ced t he di ni ng r oom t abl e. Ki nda t acky . She was hopi ng i t woul d di st r act her , i f f or some br i ef moment , f r om her l i f e. " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he mast er bedr oom al l t o mysel f , " t hought Vi vi anna. The next t hi ng she saw was t he ki ng si zed bed, whi ch l ef t her f eel i ng di squi et ed. Par t of her , a l ar ger par t t han she car ed t o admi t , want ed t o smash i t . " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he f r ont yar d al l t o mysel f , " t hought Dar by. Dar by r an her f i nger s t hr ough t he wel l mani cur ed gr ass, dr eami ng of bet t er days. Di t a encount er ed Ki ah i n t he f oyer . " What ' s t he best way t o f or ce a man t o do si t ups?" " Get t i ng home and l i st eni ng t o Er i c Hut chi nson whi l e r eadi ng t he new i ssue of The Rol l i ng St one, " sai d Ki ah. " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he di ni ng r oom al l t o mysel f , " t hought Phi l omena. The si l ver war e r emi nded her of her mot her . Bar f . She di dn' t gi ve i t a second t hought . Dar by f ound Di t a i n t he f r ont yar d. Dar by avoi ded Di t a. Di t a f ound Ki ah i n t he f r ont yar d. " What i s your f avor i t e Thanksgi vi ng di sh?" Di t a demanded. " Wat chi ng t hankski l l i ng. " Vi vi anna wal ked i nt o t he gr eat hal l and saw Gal e. Gr eat . " What ' s t he best hot choc ol at e I
can buy f r om t he st or e?" " Thi s. " Vi vi anna ent er ed t he bat hr oom. Vi v i anna was af r ai d, as she al ways was, t hat a mur der er l ay i n ambush behi nd t he shower cur t ai n. Dar by encount er ed Di t a i n t he f r ont yar d. Dar by pl ayed ner vousl y wi t h her coat i n a successf ul bi d t o avoi d t al ki ng t o Di t a. She t hought about school , and how Di t a and Dar by got bet t er gr ades t han her . Wer e t hey j eal ous of her somehow? Not l i kel y. How coul d t hat even be possi bl e? Di d t hey secr et l y l i ke her af t er al l ? I t di dn' t mat t er anyway. They wer e al ways l aughi ng wi t h t hei r per f ect f r i ends. They wer e queen bees and t hey knew i t . But l i f e was pr obabl y har d f or t hem t oo, i n i t s own way. I t al ways i s. Nobody was i n t he f oyer , so Ki ah f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. Ki ah debat ed j ust l eavi ng t he house. Phi l omena l ooked ar ound t he ki t chen. Phi l omena checked t he f r i dge f or snacks. Vi vi anna ent er ed t he gr eat hal l . Vi vi anna st ar ed down t he hal l , whi ch seemed l onger t han i t had any r i ght t o be. Gal e ent er ed t he bat hr oom. Gal e j i ggl ed t he t oi l et handl e. Af t er some t i me, Vi vi anna f ound her sel f i n t he gr eat hal l . Vi vi anna t ook of f her shoes, got a r unni ng st ar t , a sl i d i n her socks down t he sl i ck har dwood f l oor s. She t hought about Gal e. I t was al most t oo much t o deal wi t h. Why coul dn' t she be mor e l i ke her ? Maybe i f t hey coul d j ust be r eal wi t h each ot her f or onc e. . . Just t hi nki ng about i t made her want t o puke. Why di d she come t o t hi s st upi d house par t y i n t he f i r st pl ace? Gal e l ook ed ar ound t he bat hr oom. Gal e j i ggl ed t he t oi l et handl e. Phi l omena l ooked ar ound t he ki t chen. Phi l omena checked t he f r i dge f or snacks. The f r ont y ar d was empt y. Fi nal l y, Di t a t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. The next t hi ng she saw was t he l awn, whi ch l ef t her f eel i ng di squi et ed. Par t of her , a l ar ger par t t han she
car ed t o admi t , want ed t o smash i t . Af t er some t i me, Dar by f ound her sel f i n t he di ni ng r oom. She dut i f ul l y avoi ded t he di ni ng r oom t abl e out of some pr i mal r espect f or i t s ot her ness. She hear d a noi se f r om somewher e el se i n t he house. Af t er some t i me, Ki ah f ound her sel f i n t he l i br ar y. Ki ah f l i pped t hr ough some books . " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he gr eat hal l al l t o mysel f , " t hought Gal e. Gal e t ook of f her shoes , got a r unni ng st ar t , a sl i d i n her socks down t he sl i ck har dwood f l oor s. " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he ki t chen al l t o mysel f , " t hought Phi l omena. Phi l omena checked t he f r i dge f or snacks. Vi vi anna ent er ed t he gr eat hal l . Vi vi anna st ar ed down t he hal l , whi ch seemed l onger t han i t had any r i ght t o be. Dar by and Di t a r an i nt o each ot her i n t he l i vi ng r oom. Dar by avoi ded Di t a. Ki ah br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he l i br ar y. The next t hi ng she saw was t he mahogany wor k desk, whi ch l ef t her f eel i ng di squi et ed. Why she not i ced i n t he f i r s t pl ace was beyond her . Vi vi anna ent er ed t he gr eat hal l . Vi vi anna st ar ed down t he hal l , whi ch seemed l onger t han i t had any r i ght t o be. She t hought about Phi l omena. She want ed t hat scar f . Not hi ng el se woul d do. I t was al most t oo much t o deal wi t h. Nobody r eal l y knew how she f el t . Why di d ever yone want t o be l i ke her ? Jus t t hi nki ng about i t made her want t o puke. Why di d she come t o t hi s st upi d house par t y i n t he f i r st pl ace? Dar by encount er ed Di t a i n t he di ni ng r oom. Dar by pl ayed ner vousl y wi t h her shi r t i n a successf ul bi d t o avoi d t al ki ng t o Di t a. " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he l i br ar y al l t o mysel f , " t hought Ki ah. The mahogany wor k desk caught her eye. She t hought i t was t he ugl i est t hi ng she' d ever seen. She di dn' t gi ve i t a s econd t hought . She t hought about school , and how Gal e and Vi vi anna di dn' t have t o t r y har d t o be
l i ked. Wer e t hey j eal ous of her somehow? Not l i kel y. How coul d t hat even be possi bl e? They wal ked ar ound t he school l i ke t hey owned t he pl ace. They wer e queen bees and t hey knew i t . But l i f e was pr obabl y har d f or t hem t oo, i n i t s own way. I t al ways i s. Di d t hey suspect she t hought about t hem so much? Phi l omena f ound Dar by i n t he di ni ng r oom. " What i s t he best deal you f ound?" ask ed Phi l omena. " Vi ct or i a' s Secr et 7 f or $26 under wear , " sai d Dar by. Di t a f ound Dar by i n t he di ni ng r oom. " what ' s your f avour i t e i t em of f ood i n a buf f et ?" Dar by si ghed. " Out of ever yt hi ng I have my pandor a br acel et . " Di t a wal ked i nt o t he di ni ng r oom and saw Phi l omena. Gr eat . " Dr eams, " Di t a sai d. " Tel l me about your dr eams. " Phi l omena al most sai d not hi ng, but t hought bet t er of i t . " My c ousi n' s f r i end was over who I ' d never met but al ways want ed t o meet . When I saw Mi chael ' s f r i end I coul dn' t bel i eve i t ' caus e he was t al l and f i ne and l ooked about 14! ( I ' m 13. ) I kept aski ng hi m and Mi chael " ar e y ou r eal l y onl y 9 year s ol d?" and he woul d answer yes! That ' s al l I r emember . " Nobody was i n t he f oyer , so Ki ah f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. She st ar ed at t he chandel i er uncompr ehendi ngl y . Why she not i ced i n t he f i r st pl ace was beyond her . The gr eat hal l was empt y. Fi nal l y, Gal e t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. Gal e t ook of f her shoes , got a r unni ng st ar t , a s l i d i n her socks down t he sl i ck har dwood f l oor s. Nobody was i n t he bat hr oom, so Vi vi anna f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. The t oi l et caught her eye. She t hought i t was t he ugl i est t hi ng she' d ever seen. She was hopi ng i t woul d di st r act her , i f f or some br i ef moment , f r om her l i f e. Af t er some t i me, Ki ah f ound her sel f i n t he f r ont yar d. The t r ee caught her eye. She t hought i t was t he ugl i est t hi ng she' d ever seen. She di dn' t gi ve i t a second t hought . Di t a ent er ed t he di ni ng r oom t o f i nd Phi l omena st andi ng t her e. " What i s your f avor i t e pi ece
of f i shi ng gear ?" asked Di t a. " my l eat her j acket , " sai d Phi l omena. Phi l omena encount er ed Dar by i n t he back yar d. Phi l omena pl ayed ner vousl y wi t h her phone i n a successf ul bi d t o avoi d t al ki ng t o Dar by. She t hought about school , and how Dar by and Phi l omena had mor e money t han she di d. They wer e queen bees and t hey knew i t . They never i nvi t ed her t o par t i es; i t was a f l uke she ended up at t hi s one. They al ways got t hey want ed. Al ways. Di d t hey suspect she t hought about t hem so muc h? Di t a l ooked ar ound t he l i vi ng r oom. Di t a bounced on t he sof a, hopi ng t o r ecapt ur e her chi l dhood i nnocence. Af t er some t i me, Vi vi anna f ound her sel f i n t he gr eat hal l . The f ami l y por t r ai t r emi nded her of her mot her . Bar f . Thi ngs. The house was f ul l of t hi ngs. When she got ol d enough t o have a house, she' d own not hi ng. The f r ont y ar d was empt y. Fi nal l y, Ki ah t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. Ki ah r an her f i nger s t hr ough t he wel l mani cur ed gr ass, dr eami ng of bet t er days. She t hought about school , and how Vi vi anna and Phi l omena t hought t hey wer e so much bet t er t han ever yone el se. Di d t hey secr et l y l i ke her af t er al l ? I t di dn' t mat t er anyway. They wal ked ar ound t he school l i ke t hey owned t he pl ace. They wer e queen bees and t hey knew i t . They never i nvi t ed her t o par t i es; i t was a f l uke she ended up at t hi s one. They al ways got t hey want ed. Al ways. The di ni ng r oom hel d t wo i t ems of i nt er est t o Phi l omena: t he di ni ng r oom t abl e and Dar by. Phi l omena st ar ed at Dar by suspi c i ousl y. The bat hr oom was empt y. Fi nal l y, Vi vi anna t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. Vi vi anna r el i ev ed her sel f . She t hought about school , and how Vi vi anna and Di t a wer e such t ot al bi t ches. Why di d t hey l eave whenever she ent er ed a r oom? Di d t hey secr et l y l i ke her af t er al l ? I t di dn' t mat t er any way. They al ways got t hey want ed. Al ways. Di d t hey suspec t she t hought about t hem so much?
Nobody was i n t he f r ont yar d, so Di t a f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. Di t a st ar t ed t o cl i mb t he t r ee, t hen t hought bet t er of i t . Vi vi anna br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he bat hr oom. Vi vi anna was af r ai d, as she al ways was, t hat a mur der er l ay i n ambush behi nd t he shower cur t ai n. Nobody was i n t he f oyer , so Ki ah f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. Ki ah debat ed j ust l eavi ng t he house. She t hought about school , and how Gal e and Vi vi anna got bet t er gr ades t han her . Wer e t hey j eal ous of her somehow? Not l i kel y. They wer e al ways l aughi ng wi t h t hei r per f ect f r i ends. They wal k ed ar ound t he school l i k e t hey owned t he pl ace. They al ways got t hey want ed. Al ways. The ki t chen hel d t wo i t ems of i nt er est t o Dar by: t he f r i dge and Phi l omena. " Why do you even have t wi t t er ?" Dar by asked. Phi l omena r ecoi l ed. " because I have t oo many t wi t t er f ol l ower s. " Phi l omena l ooked ar ound t he bac k yar d. " Wow, check out t hat l awn f ur ni t ur e, " she sai d t o no one i n par t i cul ar . Why she not i ced i n t he f i r st pl ace was beyond her . Di t a ent er ed t he f r ont yar d. Di t a st ar t ed t o cl i mb t he t r ee, t hen t hought bet t er of i t . She t hought about school , and how Dar by and Vi vi anna wer e such t ot al bi t ches. Why di d t hey l eave whenever she ent er ed a r oom? Wer e t hey j eal ous of her somehow? Not l i kel y. How coul d t hat even be possi bl e? They never i nvi t ed her t o par t i es; i t was a f l uke she ended up at t hi s one. They al ways got t hey want ed. Al ways. Vi vi anna br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he gr eat hal l . Vi vi anna t ook of f her shoes, got a r unni ng st ar t , a sl i d i n her socks down t he sl i ck har dwood f l oor s. The br eak f ast nook was empt y. Fi nal l y, Dar by t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk . She st ar ed at t he t oast er uncompr ehendi ngl y. Thi ngs. The house was f ul l of t hi ngs. When she got ol d enough t o have a house, s he' d own not hi ng. She t hought about Ki ah. Ki ah and t hat ost ent at i ous wat ch of her s. I t was al most t oo much t o deal wi t h. Why coul dn' t she be mor e l i ke her ? Nobody r eal l y knew how she f el t . Just t hi nki ng about i t made her want t o puke.
Ki ah ent er ed t he l i br ar y. Ki ah f l i pped t hr ough some books. She t hought about Vi vi anna. Maybe i f t hey coul d j ust be r eal wi t h each ot her f or once. . . Why di d she come t o t hi s st upi d house par t y i n t he f i r st pl ace? Phi l omena l ooked ar ound t he ki t chen. The oven r emi nded her of her mot her . Bar f . She was hopi ng i t woul d di st r act her , i f f or s ome br i ef moment , f r om her l i f e. Vi vi anna ent er ed t he gr eat hal l . Vi vi anna st ar ed down t he hal l , whi ch seemed l onger t han i t had any r i ght t o be. Af t er some t i me, Dar by f ound her sel f i n t he back yar d. She st ar ed at t he gas gr i l l uncompr ehendi ngl y. Thi ngs. The house was f ul l of t hi ngs. When she got ol d enough t o have a house, she' d own not hi ng. Ki ah ent er ed t he l i br ar y. Ki ah t r i ed and f ai l ed t o open t he l ock on t he desk. Di t a ent er ed t he f oyer . Di t a debat ed j ust l eavi ng t he house. Ki ah l ooked ar ound t he l i br ar y. The next t hi ng she saw was t he mahogany wor k desk, whi ch l ef t her f eel i ng di squi et ed. Thi ngs. The house was f ul l of t hi ngs. When she got ol d enough t o have a house, she' d own not hi ng. She t hought about school , and how Gal e and Ki ah t hought t hey wer e so much bet t er t han ever yone el se. Wer e t hey j eal ous of her somehow? Not l i kel y. They wer e queen bees and t hey knew i t . They never i nvi t ed her t o par t i es; i t was a f l uke she ended up at t hi s one. The ki t chen hel d t wo i t ems of i nt er est t o Phi l omena: t he oven and Dar by. Phi l omena eyed Dar by' s ost ent at i ous shi r t wi t h envy. As Vi vi anna ent er ed t he gr eat hal l , she saw Gal e maki ng t r oubl e. Vi vi anna pl ayed ner vousl y wi t h her sweat er i n a successf ul bi d t o avoi d t al ki ng t o Gal e. The l i br ar y was empt y. Fi nal l y, Ki ah t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. Ki ah t r i ed and f ai l ed t o open t he l ock on t he desk. Gal e encount er ed Vi vi anna i n t he gr eat hal l . " What i s your f avor i t e scene of mi ne i n a Love
Thy Nei ghbor epi sode?" Gal e ask ed. Vi vi anna f l i nched. " When Aur or a and Phi l l i p meet i n t he woods and si ng t oget her . " The f oyer was empt y. Fi nal l y, Di t a t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. She dut i f ul l y avoi ded t he chandel i er out of some pr i mal r espect f or i t s ot her ness. She hear d a noi se f r om somewher e el se i n t he house. The gr eat hal l was empt y. Fi nal l y, Ki ah t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. Ki ah t ook of f her shoes , got a r unni ng st ar t , a s l i d i n her socks down t he sl i ck har dwood f l oor s. Di t a br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n s i ght s of t he f r ont yar d. Di t a st ar t ed t o cl i mb t he t r ee, t hen t hought bet t er of i t . Af t er some t i me, Vi vi anna f ound her sel f i n t he gr eat hal l . " Wow, check out t hat t r i bal Af ghan r ug, " she sai d t o no one i n par t i cul ar . She was hopi ng i t woul d di st r act her , i f f or some br i ef moment , f r om her l i f e. " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he ki t chen al l t o mysel f , " t hought Dar by. She st ar ed at t he oven uncompr ehendi ngl y. She di dn' t gi v e i t a second t hought . She t hought about Phi l omena. Phi l omena and t hat cr i mson phone of her s. She want ed t hat phone. Not hi ng el se woul d do. Nobody r eal l y knew how she f el t . Why di d she come t o t hi s st upi d house par t y i n t he f i r st pl ace? The guest bedr oom was empt y. Fi nal l y, Ki ah t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. Ki ah guessed t hat t hi s was t he most bor i ng r oom i n t he house. Di t a br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n s i ght s of t he f r ont yar d. Di t a r an her f i nger s t hr ough t he wel l mani c ur ed gr ass, dr eami ng of bet t er days. She t hought about school , and how Di t a and Phi l omena t hought t hey wer e so much bet t er t han ever yone el se. They wer e queen bees and t hey knew i t . They never i nvi t ed her t o par t i es; i t was a f l uke she ended up at t hi s one. But l i f e was pr obabl y har d f or t hem t oo, i n i t s own way . I t al ways i s. Di d t hey suspect she t hought about t hem so much? Dar by l ook ed ar ound t he cl oset . Dar by l ooked f or some paper t owel s. She t hought about
Phi l omena. Phi l omena and t hat cr i mson phone of her s. She want ed t hat phone. Not hi ng el se woul d do. Nobody r eal l y knew how she f el t . Why di d ever yone want t o be l i ke her ? Just t hi nk i ng about i t made her want t o puke. As Ki ah ent er ed t he gr eat hal l , she saw Vi vi anna maki ng t r oubl e. Ki ah avoi ded Vi v i anna. The f r ont y ar d was empt y. Fi nal l y, Di t a t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. Di t a s t ar t ed t o cl i mb t he t r ee, t hen t hought bet t er of i t . The cl oset was empt y. Fi nal l y, Dar by t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. Dar by l ooked f or some paper t owel s. The mast er bat hr oom was empt y. Fi nal l y, Gal e t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. " Wow, chec k out t hat bl onde onyx count er t op, " she sai d t o no one i n par t i cul ar . She hear d a noi se f r om somewher e el se i n t he house. She t hought about school , and how Di t a and Phi l omena wer e such t ot al bi t ches. Why di d t hey l eave whenever she ent er ed a r oom? Wer e t hey j eal ous of her somehow? Not l i kel y. They wer e al ways l aughi ng wi t h t hei r per f ect f r i ends. They wal ked ar ound t he school l i ke t hey owned t he pl ace. But l i f e was pr obabl y har d f or t hem t oo, i n i t s own way. I t al ways i s. Di d t hey suspect she t hought about t hem so much? Vi vi anna encount er ed Ki ah i n t he gr eat hal l . " what ' s your f avor i t e book t he mi l k f i c?" asked Vi vi anna. " secr et s beyond t he gr ave. " Phi l omena l ooked ar ound t he ki t chen. Phi l omena r i f l ed t hr ough t he cabi net s f or al c ohol . Di t a br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n s i ght s of t he f r ont yar d. Di t a st ar t ed t o cl i mb t he t r ee, t hen t hought bet t er of i t . She t hought about Dar by. I t was al most t oo much t o deal wi t h. Vi vi anna ent er ed t he bat hr oom. Vi v i anna l ooked ar ound f or t ampons, f i ndi ng none. She t hought about school , and how Di t a and Vi vi anna never t al k ed t o her . Wer e t hey j eal ous of her somehow? Not l i kel y. How coul d t hat even be possi bl e? But l i f e was pr obabl y har d f or
t hem t oo, i n i t s own way. I t al ways i s. Di d t hey suspect she t hought about t hem so much? " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he cl oset al l t o mysel f , " t hought Dar by. She st ar ed at t he br i c a br ac uncompr ehendi ngl y. She wi shed t he booze woul d ki ck i n. She t hought about Ki ah. Ki ah and t hat ost ent at i ous wat ch of her s. She want ed t hat pur se. Not hi ng el se woul d do. Maybe i f t hey coul d j ust be r eal wi t h each ot her f or once. . . Nobody r eal l y knew how she f el t . Just t hi nk i ng about i t made her want t o puke. Ki ah ent er ed t he guest bedr oom. The post er of a. . . Monet ? r emi nded her of her mot her . Bar f . She wi shed t he booze woul d ki ck i n. Nobody was i n t he br eakf ast nook , so Phi l omena f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. Phi l omena dr ank some j ui ce, f uck i t , r i ght ? Whose house even was t hi s? Di t a br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n s i ght s of t he f r ont yar d. Di t a st ar t ed t o cl i mb t he t r ee, t hen t hought bet t er of i t . Vi vi anna ent er ed t he gr eat hal l . Vi vi anna st ar ed down t he hal l , whi ch seemed l onger t han i t had any r i ght t o be. She t hought about Ki ah. Why coul dn' t she be mor e l i ke her ? Maybe i f t hey coul d j ust be r eal wi t h each ot her f or once. . . Nobody r eal l y knew how she f el t . The cl oset was empt y. Fi nal l y, Dar by t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. Dar by sur r ept i ci ousl y r ear r anged t he suppl i es. She t hought about Gal e. Gal e and t hat t eal shi r t of her s. She want ed t hat shi r t . Not hi ng el se woul d do. I t was al most t oo much t o deal wi t h. Why coul dn' t she be mor e l i ke her ? Nobody r eal l y knew how she f el t . Nobody was i n t he guest bedr oom, so Ki ah f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. Ki ah guessed t hat t hi s was t he most bor i ng r oom i n t he house. She t hought about school , and how Dar by and Vi vi anna t hought t hey wer e so much bet t er t han ever yone el se. Phi l omena ent er ed t he ki t chen. Dar by was t her e, as i f wai t i ng. Phi l omena st ar ed at Dar by suspi ci ous l y. She t hought about s chool , and how Dar by and Ki ah had mor e money t han she di d. They wal ked ar ound t he s chool l i ke t hey owned t he pl ace. They wer e queen bees and t hey knew i t . Di d t hey suspec t she t hought about t hem so much?
Di t a l ooked ar ound t he gar age. The r i di ng l awnmower caught her eye. She t hought i t was t he ugl i es t t hi ng she' d ever seen. She hear d a noi se f r om s omewher e el se i n t he house. The gr eat hal l was empt y. Fi nal l y, Ki ah t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. Ki ah st ar ed down t he hal l , whi ch seemed l onger t han i t had any r i ght t o be. Di t a ent er ed t he gar age. The BMW caught her eye. She t hought i t was t he ugl i est t hi ng she' d ever seen. She wi shed t he booze woul d ki ck i n. She t hought about school , and how Phi l omena and Dar by never t al ked t o her . Why di d t hey l eave whenever she ent er ed a r oom? Wer e t hey j eal ous of her somehow? Not l i kel y. Di d t hey secr et l y l i ke her af t er al l ? I t di dn' t mat t er anyway. They wer e al ways l aughi ng wi t h t hei r per f ect f r i ends. They wer e queen bees and t hey k new i t . They never i nvi t ed her t o par t i es; i t was a f l uke she ended up at t hi s one. Di d t hey suspect she t hought about t hem so much? Vi vi anna l ooked ar ound t he gr eat hal l . The next t hi ng she s aw was t he t r i bal Af ghan r ug, whi ch l ef t her f eel i ng di squi et ed. Why she not i ced i n t he f i r st pl ace was beyond her . Gal e ent er ed t he gr eat hal l . Vi vi anna was t her e, as i f wai t i ng. " Wher e di d you get t hat bel t , Vi vi anna?" Vi vi anna i gnor ed her . Di t a l ooked ar ound t he gr eat hal l . Di t a st ar ed down t he hal l , whi ch seemed l onger t han i t had any r i ght t o be. The l i br ar y was empt y. Fi nal l y, Vi vi anna t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. Vi vi anna f l i pped t hr ough some books. She t hought about school , and how Ki ah and Di t a t hought t hey wer e so much bet t er t han ever yone el se. They wal ked ar ound t he school l i ke t hey owned t he pl ace. They never i nvi t ed her t o par t i es; i t was a f l uke she ended up at t hi s one. But l i f e was pr obabl y har d f or t hem t oo, i n i t s own way. I t al ways i s. Dar by br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he l i vi ng r oom. Dar by bounced on t he sof a, hopi ng t o r ecapt ur e her chi l dhood i nnocence. " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he mast er bedr oom al l t o mysel f , " t hought Ki ah. " Wow, check out t hat t eak dr ess er , " she sai d t o no one i n par t i cul ar . Thi ngs. The house was f ul l of t hi ngs . When
she got ol d enough t o have a hous e, she' d own not hi ng. Gal e br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he guest bedr oom. Gal e guessed t hat t hi s was t he most bor i ng r oom i n t he house. She t hought about school , and how Di t a and Vi vi anna had mor e money t han she di d. Wer e t hey j eal ous of her somehow? Not l i kel y. They wal ked ar ound t he school l i ke t hey owned t he pl ace. They never i nvi t ed her t o par t i es; i t was a f l uke she ended up at t hi s one. Vi vi anna br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he l i br ar y. " Wow, check out t hat bookshel f , " she sai d t o no one i n par t i cul ar . Par t of her , a l ar ger par t t han she car ed t o admi t , want ed t o smash i t . Phi l omena ent er ed t he l i vi ng r oom t o f i nd Dar by st andi ng t her e. " Why do you assume ever yt hi ng i s about you?" asked Phi l omena. " because I ' m j ust t r yi ng t o say ever yt hi ng I need t o say, " sai d Dar by. As Di t a ent er ed t he gr eat hal l , she saw Gal e maki ng t r oubl e. Di t a seemed di si nt er est ed. " What ' s your f avor i t e t v show ( Real i t y) 16 and pr egnant , t een mom, gi r l code ( Wr i t t en on t he app) Fr i ends?" she demanded. " Chuck, " s ai d Gal e. The l i vi ng r oom hel d t wo i t ems of i nt er est t o Dar by: t he f l at scr een TV and Phi l omena. The l i br ar y was empt y. Fi nal l y, Vi vi anna t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. Vi vi anna t r i ed and f ai l ed t o open t he l ock on t he desk. She t hought about Phi l omena. Phi l omena and t hat f ashi onabl e scar f of her s. She hat ed her so damn much. She want ed t hat phone. Not hi ng el se woul d do. Why di d ever yone want t o be l i ke her ? Just t hi nki ng about i t made her want t o puke. Gal e ent er ed t he gr eat hal l . She not i ced t he f ami l y por t r ai t . Ki nda t acky. Thi ngs. The house was f ul l of t hi ngs. When she got ol d enough t o have a house, she' d own not hi ng. Di t a ent er ed t he mast er bedr oom. Ki ah was t her e, as i f wai t i ng. " What ' s t he best i nsur ance
company her e i n t he Phi l i ppi nes t hat of f er s educat i on pl ans?" Di t a asked. Ki ah chuc k l ed. " Best Buy i nsur ance. " Ki ah ent er ed t he mast er bedr oom t o f i nd Di t a st andi ng t her e. " why woul d you r et weet t hat punk?" Di t a yawned. " because I can' t r et weet al yssas t weet s. " Dar by ent er ed t he di ni ng r oom. The di ni ng r oom t abl e caught her eye. She t hought i t was t he ugl i es t t hi ng she' d ever seen. Thi ngs. The house was f ul l of t hi ngs. When she got ol d enough t o have a house, she' d own not hi ng. She t hought about Di t a. She hat ed her so damn muc h. I t was al most t oo much t o deal wi t h. Why coul dn' t she be mor e l i ke her ? Maybe i f t hey coul d j ust be r eal wi t h each ot her f or once. . . Nobody r eal l y knew how she f el t . Why di d ev er yone want t o be l i ke her ? The mast er bedr oom hel d t wo i t ems of i nt er est t o Ki ah: t he t eak dr esser and Di t a. Ki ah avoi ded Di t a. Gal e encount er ed Di t a i n t he mas t er bedr oom. Gal e st ar ed at Di t a suspi ci ousl y. As Di t a ent er ed t he mast er bedr oom, she saw Gal e maki ng t r oubl e. Di t a l ooked conc er ned. " What ' s your f avour i t e l i ne f r om a Soca chune?" she demanded. " Gar ni er Fr uct i s. " Vi vi anna ent er ed t he f oyer . Phi l omena was t her e, as i f wai t i ng. Vi vi anna seemed angr y. " What ' s t he BEST desser t of al l t i me?" she demanded. " cheesecake, " sai d Phi l omena. " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he f oyer al l t o mysel f , " t hought Phi l omena. The chandel i er r emi nded her of her mot her . Bar f . She di dn' t gi ve i t a second t hought . The l i vi ng r oom was empt y. Fi nal l y, Vi vi anna t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. Vi vi anna t ur ned on t he TV f or a whi l e. She t hought about Di t a. Di t a and t hat i ncr edi bl e sweat er of
her s. She hat ed her so damn much. Maybe i f t hey coul d j us t be r eal wi t h each ot her f or once. . . Why di d she come t o t hi s s t upi d house par t y i n t he f i r st pl ace? Di t a br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n s i ght s of t he gr eat hal l . Di t a st ar ed down t he hal l , whi ch seemed l onger t han i t had any r i ght t o be. The ki t chen was empt y. Fi nal l y, Dar by t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. The f r i dge caught her eye. She t hought i t was t he ugl i est t hi ng she' d ever seen. She hear d a noi se f r om somewher e el se i n t he house. Ki ah l ooked ar ound t he l i br ar y. Ki ah t r i ed and f ai l ed t o open t he l ock on t he desk. The f oyer was empt y. Fi nal l y, Phi l omena t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. " Wow, check out t hat chandel i er , " she sai d t o no one i n par t i cul ar . She wi shed t he booze woul d ki ck i n. Vi vi anna l ooked ar ound t he f r ont y ar d. She not i ced t he l awn. Ki nda t acky. She hear d a noi se f r om somewher e el se i n t he house. Dar by ent er ed t he ki t chen. She st ar ed at t he f r i dge uncompr ehendi ngl y. She was hopi ng i t woul d di s t r act her , i f f or some br i ef moment , f r om her l i f e. Vi vi anna ent er ed t he l i v i ng r oom. Vi vi anna bounced on t he sof a, hopi ng t o r ecapt ur e her chi l dhood i nnocence. Nobody was i n t he cl os et , so Dar by f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. The br i c a br ac r emi nded her of her mot her . Bar f . Par t of her , a l ar ger par t t han she car ed t o admi t , want ed t o smas h i t . " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he guest bedr oom al l t o mysel f , " t hought Ki ah. The post er of a. . . Monet ? caught her eye. She t hought i t was t he ugl i est t hi ng she' d ever seen. Thi ngs. The house was f ul l of t hi ngs. When she got ol d enough t o have a house, she' d own not hi ng. She t hought about school , and how Di t a and Vi vi anna got bet t er gr ades t han her . Why di d t hey l eave whenever she ent er ed a r oom? Wer e t hey j eal ous of her somehow? Not l i kel y. They wer e al way s l aughi ng wi t h t hei r per f ect f r i ends. They al ways got t hey want ed. Al ways.
As Gal e ent er ed t he gr eat hal l , she saw Di t a maki ng t r oubl e. " What i s t he best ser v i ce pr ovi der ?" Gal e asked. " Keycl ub i nt er nat i onal . " Af t er some t i me, Phi l omena f ound her sel f i n t he f r ont yar d. The t r ee r emi nded her of her mot her . Bar f . Par t of her , a l ar ger par t t han she car ed t o admi t , want ed t o smash i t . She t hought about Ki ah. She hat ed her so damn much. She want ed t hat wat ch. Not hi ng el se woul d do. I t was al most t oo much t o deal wi t h. Nobody r eal l y knew how she f el t . Why di d she come t o t hi s st upi d house par t y i n t he f i r st pl ace? " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he l i vi ng r oom al l t o mysel f , " t hought Vi vi anna. Vi vi anna t ur ned on t he TV f or a whi l e. Dar by l ook ed ar ound t he ki t chen. Dar by r i f l ed t hr ough t he cabi net s f or al cohol . The gr eat hal l was empt y. Fi nal l y, Ki ah t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. " Wow, check out t hat f ami l y por t r ai t , " she sai d t o no one i n par t i cul ar . She di dn' t gi ve i t a second t hought . " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he gar age al l t o mysel f , " t hought Phi l omena. Phi l omena t r i ed t o j i mmy t he l ock on t he car and ended up set t i ng of f t he al ar m. Whoops. " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he f r ont yar d al l t o mysel f , " t hought Vi vi anna. Vi vi anna r an her f i nger s t hr ough t he wel l mani c ur ed gr ass, dr eami ng of bet t er days. She t hought about school , and how Ki ah and Di t a di dn' t have t o t r y har d t o be l i ked. Dar by l ook ed ar ound t he back yar d. " Wow, check out t hat gas gr i l l , " she sai d t o no one i n par t i cul ar . She wi shed t he booze woul d ki ck i n. Af t er some t i me, Gal e f ound her sel f i n t he gr eat hal l . Gal e t ook of f her shoes, got a r unni ng st ar t , a sl i d i n her socks down t he sl i ck har dwood f l oor s. " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he bat hr oom al l t o mysel f , " t hought Di t a. Di t a l ooked ar ound f or t ampons, f i ndi ng none. Af t er some t i me, Vi vi anna f ound her sel f i n t he f oyer . She not i ced t he chandel i er . Ki nda
t acky . She hear d a noi se f r om somewher e el se i n t he house. Af t er some t i me, Ki ah f ound her sel f i n t he gr eat hal l . Ki ah st ar ed down t he hal l , whi ch seemed l onger t han i t had any r i ght t o be. Af t er some t i me, Gal e f ound her sel f i n t he guest bedr oom. The set of cur t ai ns r emi nded her of her mot her . Bar f . She wi shed t he booze woul d ki ck i n. Dar by ent er ed t he back yar d t o f i nd Phi l omena st andi ng t her e. " What ' s t he best damn t hi ng you' ve l ucked i nt o?" " St al ki ng ot her per son' s t wi t t er / f acebook/ i nst agr am. " The bat hr oom was empt y. Fi nal l y, Di t a t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. Di t a r el i eved her sel f . Vi vi anna l ooked ar ound t he l i br ar y . The mahogany wor k desk caught her eye. She t hought i t was t he ugl i est t hi ng she' d ever seen. Why she not i ced i n t he f i r st pl ace was beyond her . Ki ah ent er ed t he gr eat hal l . Gal e was t her e, as i f wai t i ng. Ki ah st ar ed at Gal e suspi ci ousl y. As Dar by ent er ed t he back yar d, she saw Phi l omena maki ng t r oubl e. " What ' s t he best damn t hi ng you' ve l ucked i nt o?" " ser i ousl y t hi s. " The f oyer was empt y. Fi nal l y, Vi vi anna t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. Vi vi anna debat ed j ust l eavi ng t he house. The ki t chen was empt y. Fi nal l y, Dar by t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. The kni f e set caught her eye. She t hought i t was t he ugl i est t hi ng she' d ever seen. Thi ngs. The house was f ul l of t hi ngs. When she got ol d enough t o have a house, she' d own not hi ng. Af t er some t i me, Ki ah f ound her sel f i n t he mast er bedr oom. The ki ng si zed bed r emi nded her of her mot her . Bar f . Thi ngs. The house was f ul l of t hi ngs. When she got ol d enough t o have a house, she' d own not hi ng. She t hought about school , and how Di t a and Phi l omena
never t al k ed t o her . How coul d t hat even be possi bl e? They wer e al ways l aughi ng wi t h t hei r per f ect f r i ends. They never i nvi t ed her t o par t i es; i t was a f l uke she ended up at t hi s one. They al ways got t hey want ed. Al ways. Gal e wal k ed i nt o t he bat hr oom and saw Di t a. Gr eat . Gal e appear ed di si nt er est ed. " What i s t he best t hi ng you do i n your bus i ness whi ch hel ps our envi r onment ?" she asked. Di t a beamed. " Somet i mes when wor ds f ai l , an ear . " Di t a encount er ed Gal e i n t he gr eat hal l . " Dr eams, " Di t a sai d. " Tel l me about your dr eams. " Gal e al most sai d not hi ng, but t hought bet t er of i t . " I was on a cr ui se and i t was summer . A wai t er , Br andon, al ways br ought me i ce cr eam. Suddenl y ever ybody st ar t ed get t i ng si ck and dyi ng, so I deci ded t o l eave t he boat bef or e I di ed. I swam f or a l ong t i me, and I got t o t hi s i sl and wi t h not hi ng but f r ui t t r ees. I l i ved t her e f or a whi l e, but I was l onel y al t hough I was ot her wi se happy. Then a r escue pl ane came and t ook me home. " Vi vi anna br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he f oyer . Vi vi anna debat ed j ust l eavi ng t he house. Gal e wal k ed i nt o t he gr eat hal l and saw Di t a. Gr eat . " What ' s t he best damn t hi ng you' ve l ucked i nt o?" asked Gal e. " The end of mi ssi ng someone. " Di t a l ooked ar ound t he guest bedr oom. Di t a guessed t hat t hi s was t he most bor i ng r oom i n t he house. She t hought about school , and how Gal e and Dar by never t al ked t o her . Di d t hey secr et l y l i ke her af t er al l ? I t di dn' t mat t er anyway. They wal k ed ar ound t he school l i ke t hey owned t he pl ace. They wer e queen bees and t hey knew i t . But l i f e was pr obabl y har d f or t hem t oo, i n i t s own way. I t al ways i s. The l i br ar y was empt y. Fi nal l y, Vi vi anna t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. Vi vi anna f l i pped t hr ough some books. " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he cl oset al l t o mysel f , " t hought Dar by. She not i ced t he br oom. Ki nda
t acky . Why she not i ced i n t he f i r st pl ace was beyond her . Gal e f ound Ki ah i n t he mast er bedr oom. " Why woul d you t ake advi ce f r om a cowar d?" Ki ah chuc k l ed. " becaus e I t ake f i nanci al advi ce f r om my Nana. " Af t er some t i me, Phi l omena f ound her sel f i n t he l i vi ng r oom. Phi l omena bounced on t he sof a, hopi ng t o r ecapt ur e her chi l dhood i nnocence. Di t a ent er ed t he gr eat hal l . " Wow, check out t hat t r i bal Af ghan r ug, " she sai d t o no one i n par t i cul ar . Par t of her , a l ar ger par t t han she car ed t o admi t , want ed t o smash i t . The l i br ar y was empt y. Fi nal l y, Vi vi anna t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. Vi vi anna t r i ed and f ai l ed t o open t he l ock on t he desk. She t hought about school , and how Gal e and Di t a t hought t hey wer e so much bet t er t han ever yone el se. Why di d t hey l eave whenev er she ent er ed a r oom? Wer e t hey j eal ous of her somehow? Not l i kel y. How coul d t hat even be poss i bl e? Di d t hey secr et l y l i ke her af t er al l ? I t di dn' t mat t er anyway. They wer e queen bees and t hey knew i t . They never i nvi t ed her t o par t i es; i t was a f l uke she ended up at t hi s one. They al ways got t hey want ed. Al ways. Di d t hey suspect she t hought about t hem so much? " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he ki t chen al l t o mysel f , " t hought Dar by. Dar by r i f l ed t hr ough t he cabi net s f or al cohol . " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he f r ont yar d al l t o mysel f , " t hought Phi l omena. Phi l omena st ar t ed t o cl i mb t he t r ee, t hen t hought bet t er of i t . She t hought about Phi l omena. Phi l omena and t hat cr i ms on phone of her s. Why coul dn' t she be mor e l i ke her ? Just t hi nki ng about i t made her want t o puke. Vi vi anna ent er ed t he gr eat hal l t o f i nd Ki ah st andi ng t her e. Vi vi anna eyed Ki ah' s ost ent at i ous wat ch wi t h envy. She t hought about school , and how Ki ah and Di t a wer e such t ot al bi t ches. They wer e queen bees and t hey knew i t . They never i nvi t ed her t o par t i es; i t was a f l uk e she ended up at t hi s one. Di d t hey suspect she t hought about t hem so much? Dar by l ook ed ar ound t he back yar d. The gas gr i l l caught her eye. She t hought i t was t he ugl i est t hi ng she' d ever seen. Why she not i ced i n t he f i r st pl ace was beyond her . She
t hought about Gal e. She want ed t hat shi r t . Not hi ng el se woul d do. Why coul dn' t she be mor e l i ke her ? Nobody r eal l y knew how she f el t . Why di d ever yone want t o be l i ke her ? Why di d she come t o t hi s st upi d house par t y i n t he f i r st pl ace? Ki ah encount er ed Di t a i n t he gr eat hal l . Ki ah pl ayed ner vousl y wi t h her wat ch i n a successf ul bi d t o avoi d t al ki ng t o Di t a. She t hought about Di t a. Di t a and t hat i ncr edi bl e phone of her s. She l i ked her so damn much. She want ed t hat sweat er . Not hi ng el se woul d do. I t was al most t oo much t o deal wi t h. Why coul dn' t she be mor e l i ke her ? Nobody r eal l y knew how she f el t . Jus t t hi nki ng about i t made her want t o puke. Phi l omena ent er ed t he f r ont yar d. The next t hi ng she saw was t he t r ee, whi ch l ef t her f eel i ng di squi et ed. Thi ngs. The house was f ul l of t hi ngs. When she got ol d enough t o have a house, she' d own not hi ng. The l i br ar y was empt y. Fi nal l y, Vi vi anna t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. She s t ar ed at t he mahogany wor k desk uncompr ehendi ngl y. She wi shed t he booze woul d ki ck i n. She t hought about Di t a. She want ed t hat phone. Not hi ng el se woul d do. I t was al most t oo much t o deal wi t h. Why coul dn' t she be mor e l i ke her ? Maybe i f t hey coul d j ust be r eal wi t h each ot her f or once. . . Why di d ever yone want t o be l i ke her ? Why di d she come t o t hi s s t upi d house par t y i n t he f i r st pl ace? The ki t chen was empt y. Fi nal l y, Dar by t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. Dar by checked t he f r i dge f or snacks. Nobody was i n t he bat hr oom, so Ki ah f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. She st ar ed at t he t oi l et uncompr ehendi ngl y. Par t of her , a l ar ger par t t han she car ed t o admi t , want ed t o smash i t . Af t er some t i me, Phi l omena f ound her sel f i n t he gar age. Phi l omena consi der ed get t i ng on t hat l awnmower and r i di ng i t out of t hi s pl ace. Nobody was i n t he ki t c hen, so Dar by f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. Dar by r i f l ed t hr ough t he cabi net s f or al cohol .
Ki ah ent er ed t he bat hr oom. The naut i cal t hemed shower cur t ai n r emi nded her of her mot her . Bar f . Thi ngs. The house was f ul l of t hi ngs. When she got ol d enough t o have a house, she' d own not hi ng. She t hought about school , and how Ki ah and Gal e wer e such t ot al bi t ches. Why di d t hey l eave whenever she ent er ed a r oom? Di d t hey secr et l y l i ke her af t er al l ? I t di dn' t mat t er anyway. They never i nvi t ed her t o par t i es; i t was a f l uke she ended up at t hi s one. Phi l omena l ooked ar ound t he gar age. Phi l omena consi der ed get t i ng on t hat l awnmower and r i di ng i t out of t hi s pl ace. " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he cl oset al l t o mysel f , " t hought Dar by. The next t hi ng she saw was t he br i c a br ac, whi ch l ef t her f eel i ng di squi et ed. She di dn' t gi ve i t a second t hought . Ki ah ent er ed t he bat hr oom. The next t hi ng she saw was t he f r amed phot o of a f i sh, whi ch l ef t her f eel i ng di squi et ed. Thi ngs. The house was f ul l of t hi ngs. When she got ol d enough t o have a house, she' d own not hi ng. She t hought about school , and how Gal e and Vi v i anna di dn' t hav e t o t r y har d t o be l i ked. Why di d t hey l eave whenever she ent er ed a r oom? How coul d t hat even be possi bl e? Di d t hey secr et l y l i ke her af t er al l ? I t di dn' t mat t er any way. They wer e queen bees and t hey knew i t . They never i nvi t ed her t o par t i es; i t was a f l uke she ended up at t hi s one. Di d t hey suspect she t hought about t hem so much? " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he f r ont yar d al l t o mysel f , " t hought Phi l omena. " Wow, check out t hat l awn, " she sai d t o no one i n par t i cul ar . She wi shed t he booze woul d ki ck i n. Vi vi anna wal ked i nt o t he gr eat hal l and saw Ki ah. Gr eat . Vi v i anna eyed Ki ah' s ost ent at i ous wat ch wi t h envy. The cl oset was empt y. Fi nal l y, Dar by t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. The br i c a br ac r emi nded her of her mot her . Bar f . Why she not i ced i n t he f i r st pl ace was beyond her . Ki ah and Vi vi anna r an i nt o each ot her i n t he gr eat hal l . " Wher e di d you get t hat bel t , Vi vi anna?" Vi vi anna i gnor ed her . Gal e wal k ed i nt o t he mast er bedr oom and saw Di t a. Gr eat . Gal e avoi ded Di t a.
" Per f ect , I ' v e got t he gar age al l t o mysel f , " t hought Phi l omena. Phi l omena t r i ed t o j i mmy t he l ock on t he car and ended up set t i ng of f t he al ar m. Whoops. She t hought about Gal e. She l i ked her so damn much. She want ed t hat shi r t . Not hi ng el se woul d do. I t was al most t oo much t o deal wi t h. Maybe i f t hey c oul d j ust be r eal wi t h eac h ot her f or once. . . Just t hi nki ng about i t made her want t o puke. Di t a f ound Gal e i n t he gr eat hal l . Di t a eyed Gal e' s aquamar i ne ski r t wi t h envy. Vi vi anna and Gal e r an i nt o each ot her i n t he gr eat hal l . Vi vi anna eyed Gal e' s aquamar i ne ski r t wi t h envy. The ki t chen was empt y. Fi nal l y, Dar by t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. Dar by checked t he f r i dge f or snacks. She t hought about school , and how Di t a and Ki ah di dn' t have t o t r y har d t o be l i ked. Why di d t hey l eav e whenever she ent er ed a r oom? Di d t hey secr et l y l i ke her af t er al l ? I t di dn' t mat t er anyway. They wer e al ways l aughi ng wi t h t hei r per f ect f r i ends. Ki ah br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he bat hr oom. The next t hi ng she saw was t he t oi l et , whi c h l ef t her f eel i ng di squi et ed. She was hopi ng i t woul d di st r act her , i f f or s ome br i ef moment , f r om her l i f e. She t hought about school , and how Phi l omena and Vi vi anna di dn' t hav e t o t r y har d t o be l i ked. Wer e t hey j eal ous of her somehow? Not l i kel y. How coul d t hat even be possi bl e? They never i nvi t ed her t o par t i es; i t was a f l uke she ended up at t hi s one. They al ways got t hey want ed. Al ways. The gr eat hal l hel d t wo i t ems of i nt er est t o Gal e: t he f ami l y por t r ai t and Di t a. Gal e pl ayed ner vousl y wi t h her shi r t i n a succes sf ul bi d t o avoi d t al ki ng t o Di t a. She t hought about school , and how Di t a and Vi vi anna had mor e money t han she di d. Why di d t hey l eave whenever she ent er ed a r oom? How coul d t hat even be possi bl e? They wal ked ar ound t he school l i ke t hey owned t he pl ace. They wer e queen bees and t hey knew i t . They al ways got t hey want ed. Al ways. But l i f e was pr obabl y har d f or t hem t oo, i n i t s own way. I t al ways i s. Phi l omena ent er ed t he gar age. Phi l omena t r i ed t o j i mmy t he l ock on t he car and ended up set t i ng of f t he al ar m. Whoops. Af t er some t i me, Di t a f ound her sel f i n t he mast er bedr oom. She st ar ed at t he ki ng si zed
bed uncompr ehendi ngl y. Par t of her , a l ar ger par t t han she car ed t o admi t , want ed t o smash i t . Dar by br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he br eakf ast nook. Dar by dr ank some j ui ce, f uck i t , r i ght ? Whose house even was t hi s? As Vi vi anna ent er ed t he gr eat hal l , she saw Gal e maki ng t r oubl e. Vi vi anna eyed Gal e' s t eal shi r t wi t h envy. She t hought about school , and how Gal e and Dar by t hought t hey wer e so much bet t er t han ever yone el se. Wer e t hey j eal ous of her s omehow? Not l i kel y. How coul d t hat even be possi bl e? They wal ked ar ound t he school l i ke t hey owned t he pl ace. They never i nvi t ed her t o par t i es; i t was a f l uke she ended up at t hi s one. But l i f e was pr obabl y har d f or t hem t oo, i n i t s own way. I t al ways i s. Dar by ent er ed t he ki t chen. The next t hi ng she saw was t he f r i dge, whi ch l ef t her f eel i ng di squi et ed. Par t of her , a l ar ger par t t han she car ed t o admi t , want ed t o smash i t . She t hought about Gal e. Gal e and t hat aquamar i ne ski r t of her s. I t was al most t oo muc h t o deal wi t h. Why di d ever yone want t o be l i ke her ? Why di d she come t o t hi s st upi d house par t y i n t he f i r st pl ace? Gal e encount er ed Vi vi anna i n t he gr eat hal l . " what ' s your f avour i t e song?" " I t hi nk ARTPOP, " sai d Vi vi anna. The gr eat hal l hel d t wo i t ems of i nt er est t o Di t a: t he f ami l y por t r ai t and Ki ah. " Wher e di d you get t hat pur se, Ki ah?" Ki ah i gnor ed her . Vi vi anna br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he guest bedr oom. Vi vi anna i magi ned what ki nd of peopl e had st ayed i n t he bed. How many peopl e had had sex i n i t ? Dar by ent er ed t he ki t chen. Dar by checked t he f r i dge f or snacks. Ki ah and Di t a r an i nt o each ot her i n t he gr eat hal l . Ki ah eyed Di t a' s i ncr edi bl e phone wi t h envy . Vi vi anna wal ked i nt o t he gr eat hal l and saw Ki ah. Gr eat . " Wher e di d you get t hat pur se,
Ki ah?" Ki ah i gnor ed her . Dar by ent er ed t he ki t chen. Phi l omena was t her e, as i f wai t i ng. " Phi l omena, what di d you dr eam about l ast ni ght ?" asked Dar by. Phi l omena seemed war y, but her f ac e sof t ened. " I was at My school but i t di dn' t l ook l i ke My school . St uf f happened t hat I can' t r emember . The me and a f ew ot her f r i ends went t o t he cl assr oom next t o wher e wer e sl eepi ng. I t l ooked l i ke cl ass r oom 2 at school , but had mor e st uf f i n i t . My f r i end A. sai d t hat t equi l a t ast es good wi t h t or t i l l as. I di dn' t f i nd t hi s at al l st r ange. So we go i nt o t he cl assr oom and ask i f t her e ar e any t or t i l l as. They say no but t hat t her e i s pi t a br ead, so we go i n t her e and ever yone el se di sappear s. We l ook under t he si nk, whi ch i sn' t i n cl assr oom 2 r eal l y, and under neat h ar e bi g j ugs ( t hose squar e ki nd t hat cl eani ng st uf f comes i n) and t hey ar e k i nd of see t hr ough and t her e i s yel l ow whi t i sh l i qui d i nsi de. On t hem t hey say somet hi ng I don' t r emember . Anyway we pour t he t equi l a i nt o mar gar i t a gl asses and eat i t wi t h pi t a br ead. Some s t uf f happens. ( I t hi nk t hat i t has got t en l at er but I ' m not sur e. ) An el der l y bl ack man comes i n and says he has t o check us. We i mmedi at el y t hi nk he' s t al ki ng about us dr i nki ng t equi l a. I ' m t he t ype who woul d br eak down and t el l ever yt hi ng we wer e doi ng. I l ook, about t o l augh at t hi s bl ack gi r l t o my r i ght ( A. ' s on my l ef t ) . She put her l ong dar k r ed nai l s i n her mout h ( a nor mal gest ur e as i f bi t i ng her nai l s) , and l eans her head down and t el l s me no ( don' t t el l ) . The man goes and checks behi nd a mi r r or i nsi de a mi r r or l i ke t he i l l ust r at i on. Behi nd, t her e ar e some phot os. I nsi de wer e t he phot os t hat showed t he snak e t hat bi t one of t he t eacher s. Thi s was a bi g myst er y, sol ved. Then we went away. I t hi nk l at er t her e was a bi g commot i on wi t h t he t eacher who had been bi t . " Ki ah encount er ed Vi vi anna i n t he gr eat hal l . " Vi vi anna, what di d you dr eam about l ast ni ght ?" asked Ki ah. Vi vi anna seemed war y, but her f ace sof t ened. " Fi r st I was t al ki ng t o my gr andma, t hen we wer e t r yi ng t o f i nd a seat i n t hi s huge l ec t ur e hal l . Then I sat down i n t he f i r st r ow next t o my cousi n. Then t hi s l ady came wi t h a t r ay and gave me a cup of or ange j ui ce and a cup of soda. I was hol di ng bot h and I coul dn' t bal ance mysel f at al l . I f i nal l y got t he cups under my seat . Then I was ki nd of nowher e but my cousi n was t el l i ng me her f ami l y was goi ng wi t h mi ne t o t he shoppi ng cent er . " Gal e and Vi vi anna r an i nt o each ot her i n t he gr eat hal l . Gal e st ar ed at Vi vi anna suspi ci ous l y.
Di t a and Ki ah r an i nt o each ot her i n t he gr eat hal l . Di t a avoi ded Ki ah. The bat hr oom was empt y. Fi nal l y, Vi vi anna t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. Vi vi anna was af r ai d, as she al ways was, t hat a mur der er l ay i n ambush behi nd t he shower c ur t ai n. She t hought about school , and how Dar by and Di t a had mor e money t han she di d. Why di d t hey l eave whenever she ent er ed a r oom? Wer e t hey j eal ous of her somehow? Not l i kel y. How coul d t hat even be possi bl e? They wer e al ways l aughi ng wi t h t hei r per f ect f r i ends. They wal ked ar ound t he school l i ke t hey owned t he pl ace. But l i f e was pr obabl y har d f or t hem t oo, i n i t s own way. I t al ways i s. Di d t hey suspect she t hought about t hem so much? Gal e encount er ed Ki ah i n t he gr eat hal l . Gal e avoi ded Ki ah. Dar by l ook ed ar ound t he cl oset . Dar by sur r ept i ci ousl y r ear r anged t he suppl i es. She t hought about Di t a. Di t a and t hat i ncr edi bl e phone of her s. She l oved her so damn much. She want ed t hat sweat er . Not hi ng el se woul d do. Why di d ever yone want t o be l i ke her ? Just t hi nki ng about i t made her want t o puke. Ki ah br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he guest bedr oom. Ki ah guessed t hat t hi s was t he most bor i ng r oom i n t he house. " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he bat hr oom al l t o mysel f , " t hought Di t a. " Wow, check out t hat naut i cal t hemed shower cur t ai n, " she sai d t o no one i n par t i cul ar . Why she not i ced i n t he f i r st pl ace was beyond her . Vi vi anna ent er ed t he gr eat hal l t o f i nd Gal e st andi ng t her e. Vi vi anna eyed Gal e' s t eal shi r t wi t h envy . She t hought about school , and how Gal e and Ki ah t hought t hey wer e so much bet t er t han ever yone el se. Why di d t hey l eave whenever she ent er ed a r oom? How coul d t hat even be possi bl e? Di d t hey sec r et l y l i ke her af t er al l ? I t di dn' t mat t er anyway. They wal ked ar ound t he school l i ke t hey owned t he pl ace. They never i nvi t ed her t o par t i es; i t was a f l uk e she ended up at t hi s one. Di d t hey suspect she t hought about t hem so much? " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he cl oset al l t o mysel f , " t hought Dar by. She dut i f ul l y avoi ded t he mop out of some pr i mal r espect f or i t s ot her ness. She di dn' t gi ve i t a second t hought .
Ki ah l ooked ar ound t he guest bedr oom. Ki ah i magi ned what ki nd of peopl e had st ay ed i n t he bed. How many peopl e had had sex i n i t ? Gal e and Vi vi anna r an i nt o each ot her i n t he gr eat hal l . " Why do you st i l l do i t knowi ng I get mad ever y t i me?" Vi vi anna beamed. " BECAUSE I AM VERY I NTERESTED I N KNOWI NG WHY. " Phi l omena ent er ed t he ki t chen. Phi l omena checked t he f r i dge f or snacks. The bat hr oom was empt y. Fi nal l y, Di t a t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. Di t a r el i eved her sel f . Nobody was i n t he gr eat hal l , so Vi vi anna f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. The next t hi ng she saw was t he f ami l y por t r ai t , whi ch l ef t her f eel i ng di squi et ed. Par t of her , a l ar ger par t t han she car ed t o admi t , want ed t o smash i t . Af t er some t i me, Dar by f ound her sel f i n t he cl oset . Dar by l ooked f or some paper t owel s. She t hought about Ki ah. Ki ah and t hat ost ent at i ous wat ch of her s. She l i ked her so damn much. Ki ah encount er ed Gal e i n t he guest bedr oom. " why woul d you f i ght me?" asked Ki ah. " because I know even af t er we f i ght or bi t ch at each ot her at t he end of t he day t hey wi l l al ways have my back, " sai d Gal e. Phi l omena ent er ed t he ki t chen t o f i nd Dar by st andi ng t her e. Phi l omena avoi ded Dar by. " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he bat hr oom al l t o mysel f , " t hought Di t a. Di t a j i ggl ed t he t oi l et handl e. Ki ah wal k ed i nt o t he gr eat hal l and saw Gal e. Gr eat . " What i s t he best f i t f or me?" asked Ki ah. " Real i zi ng t hat t her e ar e many sour ces of r enewabl e ener gy wi l l al l ow you t o r esear ch whi ch one. " Gal e ent er ed t he gr eat hal l t o f i nd Ki ah st andi ng t her e. " Why woul d you RT my bes t f r i ends
sel f i e?" Gal e i nqui r ed. " because I di dn' t t al k shi t or say anyt hi ng unt i l you t ol d her , " sai d Ki ah. Dar by ent er ed t he ki t chen t o f i nd Phi l omena st andi ng t her e. " What ' s your f avor i t e s ong of f of t he new al bum?" Dar by demanded. " Jai l house Rock, " sai d Phi l omena. Gal e and Vi vi anna r an i nt o each ot her i n t he guest bedr oom. " what i s your f avor i t e per son/ t hi ng t o phot ogr aph?" asked Gal e. " Jor dan. " Phi l omena ent er ed t he ki t chen. The f r i dge caught her eye. She t hought i t was t he ugl i est t hi ng she' d ever seen. Why she not i ced i n t he f i r st pl ace was beyond her . Di t a l ooked ar ound t he bat hr oom. Di t a r el i eved her sel f . She t hought about Ki ah. Ki ah and t hat ost ent at i ous wat ch of her s. She hat ed her so damn much. I t was al most t oo much t o deal wi t h. Why coul dn' t she be mor e l i ke her ? Nobody r eal l y knew how she f el t . Just t hi nk i ng about i t made her want t o puke. Why di d she come t o t hi s st upi d house par t y i n t he f i r st pl ace? Vi vi anna ent er ed t he gr eat hal l . Gal e was t her e, as i f wai t i ng. Vi vi anna avoi ded Gal e. Dar by br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he cl oset . She dut i f ul l y avoi ded t he mop out of some pr i mal r espect f or i t s ot her ness. She di dn' t gi ve i t a second t hought . Gal e and Vi vi anna r an i nt o each ot her i n t he gr eat hal l . " Wher e di d you get t hat sweat er , Vi vi anna?" Vi vi anna i gnor ed her . Di t a l ooked ar ound t he gr eat hal l . Di t a t ook of f her shoes, got a r unni ng st ar t , a sl i d i n her socks down t he sl i ck har dwood f l oor s. Nobody was i n t he ki t c hen, so Dar by f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. The next t hi ng she saw was t he oven, whi ch l ef t her f eel i ng di squi et ed. She was hopi ng i t woul d
di st r act her , i f f or some br i ef moment , f r om her l i f e. Di t a ent er ed t he gr eat hal l . Vi vi anna was t her e, as i f wai t i ng. Di t a pl ayed ner vousl y wi t h her sweat er i n a successf ul bi d t o avoi d t al ki ng t o Vi vi anna. Nobody was i n t he back yar d, so Dar by f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. She not i c ed t he gas gr i l l . Ki nda t acky. Par t of her , a l ar ger par t t han she car ed t o admi t , want ed t o smash i t . Gal e br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he l i br ar y. She dut i f ul l y avoi ded t he mahogany wor k desk out of some pr i mal r espect f or i t s ot her ness. She di dn' t gi ve i t a second t hought . Nobody was i n t he bat hr oom, so Di t a f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. Di t a j i ggl ed t he t oi l et handl e. The back y ar d was empt y. Fi nal l y, Dar by t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. The next t hi ng she saw was t he gas gr i l l , whi ch l ef t her f eel i ng di squi et ed. She wi shed t he booze woul d ki ck i n. Ki ah encount er ed Gal e i n t he gr eat hal l . " why do you have t o make t hi s so har d on me?" demanded Ki ah. " because i have mor e t hen j ust one i nt ensi on, " sai d Gal e. Nobody was i n t he ki t c hen, so Phi l omena f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. Phi l omena checked t he f r i dge f or snacks. The bat hr oom was empt y. Fi nal l y, Di t a t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. She s t ar ed at t he f r amed phot o of a f i sh uncompr ehendi ngl y. She hear d a noi se f r om somewher e el se i n t he house. She t hought about Dar by. I t was al most t oo much t o deal wi t h. Nobody r eal l y knew how she f el t . Jus t t hi nki ng about i t made her want t o puke. Gal e l ook ed ar ound t he l i br ar y. Gal e t r i ed and f ai l ed t o open t he l ock on t he desk. She t hought about Phi l omena. She want ed t hat scar f . Not hi ng el se woul d do. Why coul dn' t she be mor e l i ke her ?
The mast er bedr oom was empt y. Fi nal l y, Vi vi anna t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. The next t hi ng she saw was t he t eak dr esser , whi ch l ef t her f eel i ng di squi et ed. Par t of her , a l ar ger par t t han she c ar ed t o admi t , want ed t o smash i t . Dar by ent er ed t he back yar d. She st ar ed at t he gas gr i l l uncompr ehendi ngl y. Why she not i c ed i n t he f i r st pl ace was beyond her . Gal e ent er ed t he f oyer . Gal e debat ed j ust l eavi ng t he house. Nobody was i n t he gr eat hal l , so Di t a f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. Di t a st ar ed down t he hal l , whi ch seemed l onger t han i t had any r i ght t o be. Nobody was i n t he bat hr oom, so Ki ah f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. " Wow, chec k out t hat naut i cal t hemed shower cur t ai n, " she sai d t o no one i n par t i cul ar . Par t of her , a l ar ger par t t han she c ar ed t o admi t , want ed t o smash i t . " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he l i vi ng r oom al l t o mysel f , " t hought Gal e. The next t hi ng she saw was t he cof f ee t abl e, whi ch l ef t her f eel i ng di squi et ed. She hear d a noi se f r om somewher e el se i n t he house. Di t a ent er ed t he l i br ar y. The bookshel f r emi nded her of her mot her . Bar f . Why she not i ced i n t he f i r st pl ace was beyond her . Dar by ent er ed t he ki t chen. Dar by r i f l ed t hr ough t he cabi net s f or al cohol . Ki ah br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he gr eat hal l . Ki ah st ar ed down t he hal l , whi ch seemed l onger t han i t had any r i ght t o be. Vi vi anna ent er ed t he mast er bat hr oom. The next t hi ng she saw was t he bl onde onyx count er t op, whi ch l ef t her f eel i ng di squi et ed. Thi ngs. The house was f ul l of t hi ngs. When she got ol d enough t o have a house, s he' d own not hi ng. Dar by br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he ki t chen. Dar by checked t he f r i dge f or snac ks. She t hought about school , and how Dar by and Vi vi anna t hought t hey wer e so much bet t er t han ever yone el se. Wer e t hey j eal ous of her somehow? Not l i kel y. How coul d t hat
even be possi bl e? They al ways got t hey want ed. Al ways. Di d t hey suspect she t hought about t hem so much? The l i vi ng r oom was empt y. Fi nal l y, Gal e t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. Gal e t ur ned on t he TV f or a whi l e. Ki ah ent er ed t he gr eat hal l t o f i nd Di t a st andi ng t her e. " what ' s your f avor i t e par t of t he book?" " I know br eat hi ng i n 2 s t r oke exhaust f umes at t he bus st op. " Vi vi anna ent er ed t he mast er bat hr oom. She dut i f ul l y avoi ded t he bl onde onyx count er t op out of some pr i mal r espect f or i t s ot her ness. Why she not i ced i n t he f i r st pl ace was beyond her . Gal e l ook ed ar ound t he f r ont yar d. The l awn caught her eye. She t hought i t was t he ugl i est t hi ng she' d ever seen. She was hopi ng i t woul d di st r act her , i f f or some br i ef moment , f r om her l i f e. Af t er some t i me, Phi l omena f ound her sel f i n t he gar age. Phi l omena peer ed i n t he car door f or some ki nd of cl ue as t o whose house t hi s was. She t hought about Gal e. She l i ked her so damn much. Maybe i f t hey coul d j ust be r eal wi t h each ot her f or once. . . Why di d ever yone want t o be l i ke her ? Di t a br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n s i ght s of t he guest bedr oom. Di t a i magi ned what ki nd of peopl e had st ayed i n t he bed. How many peopl e had had sex i n i t ? She t hought about Dar by. Maybe i f t hey coul d j ust be r eal wi t h each ot her f or once. . . Nobody r eal l y knew how she f el t . Why di d ever yone want t o be l i ke her ? Why di d she come t o t hi s st upi d house par t y i n t he f i r st pl ace? Nobody was i n t he mast er bat hr oom, so Vi vi anna f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. She not i ced t he bl onde ony x count er t op. Ki nda t acky. Why she not i ced i n t he f i r st pl ace was beyond her . She t hought about school , and how Phi l omena and Di t a got bet t er gr ades t han her . How c oul d t hat even be possi bl e? Di d t hey secr et l y l i ke her af t er al l ? I t
di dn' t mat t er anyway. They wer e al ways l aughi ng wi t h t hei r per f ect f r i ends. They never i nvi t ed her t o par t i es; i t was a f l uke she ended up at t hi s one. They al ways got t hey want ed. Al ways. But l i f e was pr obabl y har d f or t hem t oo, i n i t s own way. I t al ways i s. " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he gr eat hal l al l t o mysel f , " t hought Ki ah. Ki ah t ook of f her shoes , got a r unni ng st ar t , a sl i d i n her socks down t he sl i ck har dwood f l oor s. Gal e br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he l i vi ng r oom. Gal e t ur ned on t he TV f or a whi l e. Nobody was i n t he br eakf ast nook , so Dar by f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. Dar by dr ank some j ui ce, f uck i t , r i ght ? Whose house even was t hi s? As Ki ah ent er ed t he gr eat hal l , she saw Phi l omena maki ng t r oubl e. Ki ah st ar ed at Phi l omena suspi ci ousl y. The l i vi ng r oom was empt y. Fi nal l y, Gal e t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. Gal e bounced on t he sof a, hopi ng t o r ec apt ur e her chi l dhood i nnocence. She t hought about Vi vi anna. I t was al most t oo much t o deal wi t h. Why coul dn' t she be mor e l i ke her ? Why di d she come t o t hi s st upi d house par t y i n t he f i r st pl ace? Di t a wal ked i nt o t he mast er bedr oom and saw Vi vi anna. Gr eat . Di t a st ar ed at Vi vi anna suspi ci ous l y. She t hought about s chool , and how Vi vi anna and Vi vi anna never t al k ed t o her . Wer e t hey j eal ous of her somehow? Not l i kel y. Di d t hey secr et l y l i ke her af t er al l ? I t di dn' t mat t er anyway. They wer e al ways l aughi ng wi t h t hei r per f ect f r i ends. They al ways got t hey want ed. Al ways. As Vi vi anna ent er ed t he mast er bedr oom, she saw Di t a maki ng t r oubl e. " Wher e di d you get t hat phone, Di t a?" Di t a i gnor ed her . She t hought about school , and how Di t a and Dar by t hought t hey wer e so much bet t er t han ever yone el se. They wer e al ways l aughi ng wi t h t hei r per f ect f r i ends. They al ways got t hey want ed. Al ways. Af t er some t i me, Gal e f ound her sel f i n t he f r ont yar d. Gal e st ar t ed t o cl i mb t he t r ee, t hen t hought bet t er of i t .
Phi l omena and Ki ah r an i nt o each ot her i n t he gr eat hal l . " what ' s your f avour i t e song?" demanded Phi l omena. " t r ue l i f e Tom For d. " Ki ah wal k ed i nt o t he gr eat hal l and saw Phi l omena. Gr eat . " Why woul d you f n t ext me and not r epl y?" Ki ah asked. " because I r epl i ed i n my mi nd but was t oo l azy t o physi cal l y r epl y and I ' m r eal l y sor r y, " sai d Phi l omena. Nobody was i n t he mast er bat hr oom, so Di t a f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. She not i ced t he bl onde onyx count er t op. Ki nda t acky. She wi shed t he booze woul d ki ck i n. Nobody was i n t he gr eat hal l , so Vi vi anna f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. Vi vi anna st ar ed down t he hal l , whi ch seemed l onger t han i t had any r i ght t o be. Ki ah br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he bat hr oom. The t oi l et r emi nded her of her mot her . Bar f . She was hopi ng i t woul d di st r act her , i f f or some br i ef moment , f r om her l i f e. Gal e ent er ed t he gar age. Gal e t r i ed t o j i mmy t he l ock on t he car and ended up set t i ng of f t he al ar m. Whoops. Dar by br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he ki t chen. Dar by r i f l ed t hr ough t he c abi net s f or al cohol . She t hought about school , and how Ki ah and Dar by never t al ked t o her . They wer e al way s l aughi ng wi t h t hei r per f ect f r i ends. They wal ked ar ound t he school l i ke t hey owned t he pl ace. They wer e queen bees and t hey knew i t . Di d t hey suspect she t hought about t hem so much? " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he bat hr oom al l t o mysel f , " t hought Ki ah. " Wow, check out t hat f r amed phot o of a f i sh, " she sai d t o no one i n par t i cul ar . She wi shed t he booze woul d ki ck i n. Phi l omena f ound Vi vi anna i n t he mast er bedr oom. " What I s The Best Femal e Ant hem Of Al l Ti me?"
" Lady Macbet h. " The mast er bedr oom hel d t wo i t ems of i nt er est t o Di t a: t he ki ng si zed bed and Vi vi anna. Di t a eyed Vi vi anna' s aquamar i ne sweat er wi t h envy. She t hought about school , and how Vi vi anna and Dar by had mor e money t han she di d. How coul d t hat even be possi bl e? They wal ked ar ound t he school l i ke t hey owned t he pl ace. They al ways got t hey want ed. Al ways. Ki ah br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he bat hr oom. She dut i f ul l y avoi ded t he naut i cal t hemed shower cur t ai n out of some pr i mal r espect f or i t s ot her ness. She wi shed t he booze woul d ki ck i n. She t hought about Dar by. Dar by and t hat emer al d coat of her s. She l oved her so damn much. She want ed t hat shi r t . Not hi ng el se woul d do. Nobody r eal l y knew how she f el t . Why di d she come t o t hi s s t upi d house par t y i n t he f i r st pl ace? Gal e ent er ed t he ki t chen t o f i nd Dar by st andi ng t her e. Gal e pl ayed ner vousl y wi t h her ski r t i n a succes sf ul bi d t o avoi d t al ki ng t o Dar by. Vi vi anna and Phi l omena r an i nt o each ot her i n t he mast er bedr oom. " Why do you even ask me , i f you ar en' t gonna bel i eve a wor d I say?" Vi vi anna asked. " because I can' t bel i eve I j ust ar e hal f of t hat pack , " sai d Phi l omena. The mast er bedr oom hel d t wo i t ems of i nt er est t o Phi l omena: t he ki ng si zed bed and Vi vi anna. Phi l omena pl ayed ner vousl y wi t h her scar f i n a successf ul bi d t o avoi d t al ki ng t o Vi vi anna. Ki ah ent er ed t he bat hr oom. Ki ah l ooked ar ound f or t ampons, f i ndi ng none. She t hought about Di t a. Di t a and t hat i ncr edi bl e sweat er of her s. Nobody r eal l y knew how she f el t . Why di d s he come t o t hi s st upi d house par t y i n t he f i r st pl ace? " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he mast er bedr oom al l t o mysel f , " t hought Vi vi anna. She st ar ed at t he ki ng si zed bed uncompr ehendi ngl y . She di dn' t gi ve i t a second t hought . Gal e br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he ki t chen. She not i ced t he f r i dge. Ki nda t acky. Par t of her , a l ar ger par t t han she car ed t o admi t , want ed t o smash i t .
Phi l omena and Ki ah r an i nt o each ot her i n t he gr eat hal l . " What i s t he best f i t f or me?" " chr i s evans and chr i s Hemswor t h ar e now bat t l i ng wi t hi n my hear t t o see who. " Af t er some t i me, Gal e f ound her sel f i n t he br eakf ast nook. Gal e dr ank some j ui ce, f uck i t , r i ght ? Whose house even was t hi s ? She t hought about school , and how Ki ah and Phi l omena never t al ked t o her . Wer e t hey j eal ous of her somehow? Not l i kel y. But l i f e was pr obabl y har d f or t hem t oo, i n i t s own way. I t al ways i s. Nobody was i n t he guest bedr oom, so Phi l omena f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. Phi l omena i magi ned what k i nd of peopl e had st ayed i n t he bed. How many peopl e had had s ex i n i t ? Ki ah and Di t a r an i nt o each ot her i n t he gr eat hal l . Ki ah pl ay ed ner vousl y wi t h her wat ch i n a successf ul bi d t o avoi d t al ki ng t o Di t a. " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he ki t chen al l t o mysel f , " t hought Gal e. She dut i f ul l y avoi ded t he f r i dge out of some pr i mal r espect f or i t s ot her ness. She di dn' t gi ve i t a second t hought . Di t a ent er ed t he gr eat hal l . Ki ah was t her e, as i f wai t i ng. " What ' s t he best damn t hi ng you l ucked i nt o?" Di t a asked. " Thi s, " sai d Ki ah. Phi l omena and Ki ah r an i nt o each ot her i n t he gr eat hal l . Phi l omena pl ayed ner vous l y wi t h her phone i n a successf ul bi d t o avoi d t al ki ng t o Ki ah. Di t a ent er ed t he bat hr oom. The t oi l et caught her eye. She t hought i t was t he ugl i es t t hi ng she' d ever seen. She wi shed t he booze woul d ki ck i n. Dar by l ook ed ar ound t he gar age. Dar by peer ed i n t he car door f or some ki nd of cl ue as t o whose house t hi s was. " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he ki t chen al l t o mysel f , " t hought Gal e. The next t hi ng she saw was t he oven, whi ch l ef t her f eel i ng di squi et ed. Thi ngs. The house was f ul l of t hi ngs. When she got
ol d enough t o have a house, she' d own not hi ng. Vi vi anna encount er ed Ki ah i n t he gr eat hal l . " Why woul d you f avor i t e t hat ?" Vi vi anna demanded. " because I can pl ay my f avor i t e game, " sai d Ki ah. Af t er some t i me, Phi l omena f ound her sel f i n t he gr eat hal l . Phi l omena t ook of f her s hoes, got a r unni ng st ar t , a sl i d i n her socks down t he sl i ck har dwood f l oor s. Af t er some t i me, Di t a f ound her sel f i n t he bat hr oom. Di t a l ooked ar ound f or t ampons, f i ndi ng none. The ki t chen was empt y. Fi nal l y, Gal e t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. She st ar ed at t he kni f e set uncompr ehendi ngl y. She hear d a noi se f r om somewher e el se i n t he house. She t hought about school , and how Gal e and Phi l omena di dn' t have t o t r y har d t o be l i ked. Why di d t hey l eave whenever she ent er ed a r oom? Di d t hey secr et l y l i ke her af t er al l ? I t di dn' t mat t er anyway. They wal ked ar ound t he school l i ke t hey owned t he pl ace. But l i f e was pr obabl y har d f or t hem t oo, i n i t s own way. I t al ways i s. " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he bat hr oom al l t o mysel f , " t hought Di t a. She dut i f ul l y avoi ded t he naut i cal t hemed shower cur t ai n out of some pr i mal r espect f or i t s ot her ness. She hear d a noi se f r om somewher e el se i n t he house. Dar by f ound Phi l omena i n t he gr eat hal l . " Wher e di d you get t hat phone, Phi l omena?" Phi l omena i gnor ed her . Ki ah encount er ed Vi vi anna i n t he mast er bedr oom. Ki ah pl ayed ner vousl y wi t h her wat ch i n a success f ul bi d t o avoi d t al ki ng t o Vi vi anna. Nobody was i n t he ki t c hen, so Gal e f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. She not i ced t he f r i dge. Ki nda t acky. She hear d a noi se f r om somewher e el se i n t he house. Phi l omena and Dar by r an i nt o each ot her i n t he guest bedr oom. Dar by l ooked di r ect l y at Phi l omena. " I had t he wei r dest dr eam, " she sai d. " I was at swi m pr act i ce. My whol e cl ass was t her e. We al l changed and went out si de and got i n t he pool and st ar t ed swi mmi ng. The pool was
much l ar ger t han usual , and about 40 f eet deep. I hear d t hat my f r i end Loui s was wal ki ng t hr ough t he bui l di ng, so I want ed t o see hi m and I got out as soon as I coul d, but he had l ef t when I got out si de. " " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he gr eat hal l al l t o mysel f , " t hought Di t a. The t r i bal Af ghan r ug caught her eye. She t hought i t was t he ugl i es t t hi ng she' d ever seen. She was hopi ng i t woul d di st r act her , i f f or some br i ef moment , f r om her l i f e. The guest bedr oom hel d t wo i t ems of i nt er est t o Dar by: t he set of cur t ai ns and Phi l omena. Phi l omena st i f f ened and began t o r ambl e, not not i c i ng Dar by, as i f i n a f ugue st at e. " I was i n a 7 El even, and my f at her ' s f r i end Mar i e came i n. She sai d t o hur r y. I bought my gum and r an t o t he car . Our house had st or m shut t er s and a st or m cel l ar . Dad had al r eady got t en f ood, cl ot hes and bl anket s, and we went i nt o t he cel l ar . The hur r i cane hi t and we wer e saf e, t hough we di dn' t have power f or a whi l e. They named i t Hur r i cane Juno. " " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he ki t chen al l t o mysel f , " t hought Gal e. Gal e r i f l ed t hr ough t he cabi net s f or al cohol . The mast er bedr oom was empt y. Fi nal l y, Vi vi anna t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. She st ar ed at t he ki ng si zed bed uncompr ehendi ngl y. Why she not i ced i n t he f i r st pl ace was beyond her . " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he mast er bat hr oom al l t o mysel f , " t hought Ki ah. The bl onde ony x count er t op r emi nded her of her mot her . Bar f . Why she not i ced i n t he f i r st pl ace was beyond her . She t hought about school , and how Phi l omena and Di t a wer e such t ot al bi t ches. Why di d t hey l eave whenever she ent er ed a r oom? How coul d t hat even be possi bl e? They wer e queen bees and t hey k new i t . They never i nvi t ed her t o par t i es; i t was a f l uke she ended up at t hi s one. They al ways got t hey want ed. Al ways. But l i f e was pr obabl y har d f or t hem t oo, i n i t s own way. I t al ways i s. Di d t hey suspect she t hought about t hem so much? Gal e ent er ed t he ki t chen. The kni f e set r emi nded her of her mot her . Bar f . Thi ngs. The house was f ul l of t hi ngs . When she got ol d enough t o have a house, she' d own not hi ng. Nobody was i n t he gr eat hal l , so Dar by f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. The next
t hi ng she saw was t he f ami l y por t r ai t , whi ch l ef t her f eel i ng di squi et ed. Thi ngs. The house was f ul l of t hi ngs. When she got ol d enough t o have a house, she' d own not hi ng. The mast er bedr oom hel d t wo i t ems of i nt er est t o Ki ah: t he t eak dr esser and Vi vi anna. Ki ah eyed Vi vi anna' s aquamar i ne s weat er wi t h envy. Phi l omena f ound Di t a i n t he gr eat hal l . Phi l omena pl ayed ner vousl y wi t h her phone i n a successf ul bi d t o avoi d t al ki ng t o Di t a. The bat hr oom was empt y. Fi nal l y, Dar by t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. Dar by j i ggl ed t he t oi l et handl e. She t hought about Ki ah. Ki ah and t hat f ashi onabl e pur se of her s. She want ed t hat pur se. Not hi ng el se woul d do. Maybe i f t hey coul d j ust be r eal wi t h each ot her f or once. . . Nobody r eal l y knew how she f el t . Why di d ever yone want t o be l i ke her ? Why di d she come t o t hi s st upi d house par t y i n t he f i r st pl ace? Af t er some t i me, Phi l omena f ound her sel f i n t he bat hr oom. The t oi l et caught her eye. She t hought i t was t he ugl i est t hi ng she' d ever seen. She wi shed t he booze woul d ki ck i n. Vi vi anna and Dar by r an i nt o each ot her i n t he gr eat hal l . Vi vi anna pl ayed ner vousl y wi t h her bel t i n a successf ul bi d t o avoi d t al ki ng t o Dar by. She t hought about school , and how Dar by and Ki ah di dn' t have t o t r y har d t o be l i ked. Why di d t hey l eave whenever she ent er ed a r oom? They wal ked ar ound t he sc hool l i ke t hey owned t he pl ace. They wer e queen bees and t hey knew i t . They al ways got t hey want ed. Al ways. Di d t hey suspect she t hought about t hem so much? Ki ah l ooked ar ound t he mast er bat hr oom. The bl onde onyx f l oor i ng r emi nded her of her mot her . Bar f . She hear d a noi se f r om somewher e el se i n t he house. The gr eat hal l hel d t wo i t ems of i nt er est t o Dar by: t he f ami l y por t r ai t and Vi vi anna. " What ' s t he BEST desser t of al l t i me?" " Pai n per du. " Phi l omena encount er ed Vi vi anna i n t he gr eat hal l . " Dr eams, " Phi l omena sai d. " Tel l me about your dr eams. " Vi vi anna al most sai d not hi ng, but t hought bet t er of i t . " The f i r s t par t of
t he dr eam I was wi t h a bunch of f r i ends and we f el t l i ke doi ng somet hi ng st upi d and r ebel l i ous, but we f i gur ed we' d bet t er have my ot her f r i end Sal l y al ong. Si nce nobody el se knew t he way t o her house, I dr ove. Event ual l y we j ust sat ar ound t al ki ng, eat i ng c ooki es, and maki ng scr ap books i n t he mi ddl e of t he ni ght , up i n Sal l y' s l of t . I had some mi ni dr eam about bei ng i n a comput er game. Me and my f ami l y and f ami l y f r i ends went t o t hi s Cl ub Med, and t hey wer e al l a par t of t he Cl ub Med ci r cus t eam, and t hey want ed me t o do t he t r apeze. I ' m an acr ophobi c, so t hey coul dn' t get me t o do i t . Ri ght at t he end of my dr eams, Whi t ney Houst on sang " I wi l l al ways l ove you. " " Di t a ent er ed t he l i br ar y. Di t a f l i pped t hr ough some books. Dar by wal k ed i nt o t he gr eat hal l and saw Phi l omena. Gr eat . Dar by pl ayed ner vous l y wi t h her coat i n a successf ul bi d t o avoi d t al ki ng t o Phi l omena. She t hought about school , and how Phi l omena and Di t a wer e suc h t ot al bi t ches. Wer e t hey j eal ous of her somehow? Not l i kel y. They wer e al ways l aughi ng wi t h t hei r per f ect f r i ends. They wer e queen bees and t hey knew i t . Af t er some t i me, Ki ah f ound her sel f i n t he mast er bat hr oom. The bl onde onyx count er t op caught her eye. She t hought i t was t he ugl i est t hi ng she' d ever seen. Thi ngs. The house was f ul l of t hi ngs. When she got ol d enough t o have a house, she' d own not hi ng. She t hought about Dar by. She l i ked her so damn much. I t was al most t oo much t o deal wi t h. Maybe i f t hey coul d j ust be r eal wi t h each ot her f or once. . . Nobody r eal l y knew how she f el t . Why di d ev er yone want t o be l i ke her ? Just t hi nki ng about i t made her want t o puk e. Why di d s he come t o t hi s st upi d house par t y i n t he f i r st pl ace? Gal e ent er ed t he di ni ng r oom. She st ar ed at t he di ni ng r oom t abl e uncompr ehendi ngl y. She di dn' t gi ve i t a second t hought . She t hought about Ki ah. Ki ah and t hat f ashi onabl e pur se of her s. She want ed t hat pur se. Not hi ng el se woul d do. I t was al most t oo muc h t o deal wi t h. Why coul dn' t she be mor e l i ke her ? Maybe i f t hey coul d j ust be r eal wi t h each ot her f or once. . . Di t a br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n s i ght s of t he l i br ar y. Di t a t r i ed and f ai l ed t o open t he l ock
on t he des k. " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he mast er bedr oom al l t o mysel f , " t hought Ki ah. She not i ced t he t eak dr esser . Ki nda t acky. Thi ngs. The house was f ul l of t hi ngs. When she got ol d enough t o have a house, she' d own not hi ng. She t hought about school , and how Ki ah and Vi vi anna di dn' t hav e t o t r y har d t o be l i ked. Di d t hey secr et l y l i ke her af t er al l ? I t di dn' t mat t er anyway. They al ways got t hey want ed. Al ways. " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he di ni ng r oom al l t o mysel f , " t hought Gal e. " Wow, check out t hat di ni ng r oom t abl e, " she sai d t o no one i n par t i cul ar . Thi ngs. The house was f ul l of t hi ngs. When she got ol d enough t o have a hous e, she' d own not hi ng. Di t a l ooked ar ound t he l i br ar y. She not i ced t he bookshel f . Ki nda t acky. Thi ngs. The house was f ul l of t hi ngs. When she got ol d enough t o have a house, she' d own not hi ng. Vi vi anna ent er ed t he guest bedr oom. The bed r emi nded her of her mot her . Bar f . She was hopi ng i t woul d di st r act her , i f f or s ome br i ef moment , f r om her l i f e. Dar by and Phi l omena r an i nt o each ot her i n t he gr eat hal l . Dar by eyed Phi l omena' s cr i ms on phone wi t h envy. Ki ah l ooked ar ound t he mast er bat hr oom. The bl onde onyx count er t op caught her eye. She t hought i t was t he ugl i est t hi ng she' d ever seen. She wi shed t he booze woul d ki ck i n. Phi l omena br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he gr eat hal l . Phi l omena st ar ed down t he hal l , whi ch seemed l onger t han i t had any r i ght t o be. " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he bat hr oom al l t o mysel f , " t hought Di t a. Di t a was af r ai d, as she al ways was, t hat a mur der er l ay i n ambus h behi nd t he shower cur t ai n. Dar by ent er ed t he l i br ar y t o f i nd Vi vi anna st andi ng t her e. Dar by avoi ded Vi vi anna. She t hought about school , and how Vi vi anna and Di t a got bet t er gr ades t han her . Di d t hey secr et l y l i ke her af t er al l ? I t di dn' t mat t er anyway. They wer e al ways l aughi ng wi t h t hei r per f ect f r i ends. Di d t hey suspect s he t hought about t hem so much?
Ki ah ent er ed t he mast er bat hr oom. The bl onde onyx count er t op r emi nded her of her mot her . Bar f . Par t of her , a l ar ger par t t han she car ed t o admi t , want ed t o smash i t . She t hought about school , and how Ki ah and Vi vi anna got bet t er gr ades t han her . How c oul d t hat even be possi bl e? Di d t hey sec r et l y l i ke her af t er al l ? I t di dn' t mat t er anyway. They wer e queen bees and t hey knew i t . They al ways got t hey want ed. Al ways. Gal e l ook ed ar ound t he cl oset . Gal e sur r ept i ci ousl y r ear r anged t he suppl i es. Nobody was i n t he f oyer , so Vi vi anna f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. The next t hi ng she saw was t he si de t abl e, whi ch l ef t her f eel i ng di squi et ed. She di dn' t gi ve i t a second t hought . Dar by ent er ed t he gr eat hal l . Di t a was t her e, as i f wai t i ng. Dar by eyed Di t a' s i ncr edi bl e sweat er wi t h envy. Gal e ent er ed t he cl oset . " Wow, check out t hat mop, " she sai d t o no one i n par t i cul ar . She wi shed t he booze woul d ki ck i n. The f oyer was empt y. Fi nal l y, Vi vi anna t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. She not i ced t he chandel i er . Ki nda t acky. Why she not i ced i n t he f i r st pl ace was beyond her . She t hought about Di t a. She envi ed her so damn much. She want ed t hat sweat er . Not hi ng el se woul d do. Maybe i f t hey coul d j ust be r eal wi t h each ot her f or once. . . Why di d she come t o t hi s st upi d house par t y i n t he f i r st pl ac e? Gal e br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he ki t chen. She st ar ed at t he f r i dge uncompr ehendi ngl y. She hear d a noi se f r om somewher e el se i n t he house. Ki ah ent er ed t he gr eat hal l t o f i nd Dar by st andi ng t her e. " what ' s t he best f or me?" " my mom. " Nobody was i n t he gr eat hal l , so Phi l omena f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. She st ar ed at t he f ami l y por t r ai t uncompr ehendi ngl y. She wi shed t he booze woul d ki ck i n. She t hought about school , and how Phi l omena and Di t a wer e such t ot al bi t ches. How coul d t hat
even be possi bl e? They never i nvi t ed her t o par t i es; i t was a f l uke she ended up at t hi s one. The bat hr oom was empt y. Fi nal l y, Di t a t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. The naut i cal t hemed shower cur t ai n caught her eye. She t hought i t was t he ugl i est t hi ng she' d ever seen. Thi ngs. The house was f ul l of t hi ngs. When she got ol d enough t o have a house, she' d own not hi ng. She t hought about school , and how Ki ah and Di t a t hought t hey wer e so much bet t er t han ever yone el se. They wer e al ways l aughi ng wi t h t hei r per f ect f r i ends. They wer e queen bees and t hey k new i t . They never i nvi t ed her t o par t i es; i t was a f l uke she ended up at t hi s one. They al ways got t hey want ed. Al ways. Di d t hey suspect she t hought about t hem so much? Vi vi anna l ooked ar ound t he f r ont y ar d. Vi vi anna st ar t ed t o c l i mb t he t r ee, t hen t hought bet t er of i t . She t hought about school , and how Gal e and Phi l omena never t al ked t o her . Di d t hey s ecr et l y l i ke her af t er al l ? I t di dn' t mat t er anyway. They wer e queen bees and t hey knew i t . Di d t hey suspect she t hought about t hem so much? Af t er some t i me, Ki ah f ound her sel f i n t he guest bedr oom. The set of cur t ai ns caught her eye. She t hought i t was t he ugl i es t t hi ng she' d ever seen. She wi shed t he booze woul d ki ck i n. Gal e ent er ed t he back yar d. She dut i f ul l y avoi ded t he l awn f ur ni t ur e out of some pr i mal r espect f or i t s ot her ness. She hear d a noi se f r om somewher e el se i n t he house. Nobody was i n t he guest bedr oom, so Phi l omena f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. The set of cur t ai ns r emi nded her of her mot her . Bar f . She was hopi ng i t woul d di st r act her , i f f or some br i ef moment , f r om her l i f e. Vi vi anna l ooked ar ound t he f r ont y ar d. Vi vi anna r an her f i nger s t hr ough t he wel l mani cur ed gr ass, dr eami ng of bet t er days. She t hought about Vi vi anna. Why coul dn' t she be mor e l i ke her ? Just t hi nki ng about i t made her want t o puke. Phi l omena and Dar by r an i nt o each ot her i n t he gr eat hal l . Phi l omena pl ayed ner vousl y wi t h her scar f i n a successf ul bi d t o avoi d t al ki ng t o Dar by.
Nobody was i n t he f oyer , so Vi vi anna f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. Vi v i anna debat ed j ust l eavi ng t he house. Di t a f ound Phi l omena i n t he gr eat hal l . " What ' s your f avour i t e mont h?" demanded Di t a. " December . " Di t a l ooked ar ound t he bat hr oom. She not i ced t he f r amed phot o of a f i sh. Ki nda t acky. She hear d a noi se f r om somewher e el se i n t he house. She t hought about Phi l omena. I t was al most t oo much t o deal wi t h. Nobody r eal l y knew how she f el t . Why di d she come t o t hi s st upi d house par t y i n t he f i r st pl ac e? Vi vi anna br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he f r ont yar d. Vi vi anna st ar t ed t o c l i mb t he t r ee, t hen t hought bet t er of i t . She t hought about Gal e. I t was al most t oo much t o deal wi t h. Why coul dn' t she be mor e l i ke her ? Just t hi nki ng about i t made her want t o puke. Why di d she come t o t hi s st upi d house par t y i n t he f i r st pl ace? Dar by f ound Phi l omena i n t he gr eat hal l . Dar by pl ayed ner vousl y wi t h her shi r t i n a successf ul bi d t o avoi d t al ki ng t o Phi l omena. Af t er some t i me, Gal e f ound her sel f i n t he ki t chen. Gal e checked t he f r i dge f or snacks. Phi l omena ent er ed t he gr eat hal l t o f i nd Ki ah st andi ng t her e. Phi l omena avoi ded Ki ah. Vi vi anna ent er ed t he l i v i ng r oom. The next t hi ng she saw was t he cof f ee t abl e, whi ch l ef t her f eel i ng di squi et ed. She wi shed t he booze woul d ki ck i n. She t hought about school , and how Phi l omena and Gal e t hought t hey wer e so much bet t er t han ever yone el se. They never i nvi t ed her t o par t i es; i t was a f l uke she ended up at t hi s one. They al ways got t hey want ed. Al ways. Dar by ent er ed t he mast er bedr oom. She st ar ed at t he ki ng si zed bed uncompr ehendi ngl y. She wi shed t he booze woul d ki ck i n. Ki ah f ound Phi l omena i n t he gr eat hal l . Ki ah eyed Phi l omena' s cr i mson phone wi t h envy.
Gal e ent er ed t he cl oset . Gal e sur r ept i ci ousl y r ear r anged t he suppl i es. Di t a ent er ed t he bat hr oom. The next t hi ng she saw was t he naut i cal t hemed shower cur t ai n, whi ch l ef t her f eel i ng di squi et ed. Thi ngs. The house was f ul l of t hi ngs. When she got ol d enough t o have a house, she' d own not hi ng. She t hought about Gal e. Why coul dn' t she be mor e l i ke her ? Nobody r eal l y knew how she f el t . Why di d ever yone want t o be l i ke her ? Just t hi nk i ng about i t made her want t o puke. Dar by ent er ed t he gr eat hal l . Phi l omena was t her e, as i f wai t i ng. " WHAT' S YOUR FAVORI TE COLOR?" asked Dar by. " Bl ack. " The l i br ar y was empt y. Fi nal l y, Phi l omena t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. Phi l omena t r i ed and f ai l ed t o open t he l ock on t he desk. Phi l omena encount er ed Di t a i n t he l i br ar y. " Dr eams, " Phi l omena sai d. " Tel l me about your dr eams. " Di t a al most sai d not hi ng, but t hought bet t er of i t . " I went t o a t oyst or e wi t h my dad and my f r i end Sandy. We wer e buyi ng some st r ange dol l shower , but i t l ooked l i ke a mi ni f l yi ng saucer . We br ought i t back home, and I at t ached ( i t ) t o my l i vi ng r oom cei l i ng. I j umped i n t he ai r and gr abbed ont o t he dol l shower . When I l et go, I was f l yi ng and f l oat i ng i n t he ai r . " Vi vi anna l ooked ar ound t he f oyer . She dut i f ul l y avoi ded t he si de t abl e out of some pr i mal r espect f or i t s ot her ness. Par t of her , a l ar ger par t t han she car ed t o admi t , want ed t o smash i t . Phi l omena and Di t a r an i nt o each ot her i n t he l i br ar y. Phi l omena avoi ded Di t a. " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he f r ont yar d al l t o mysel f , " t hought Vi vi anna. The t r ee r emi nded her of her mot her . Bar f . She was hopi ng i t woul d di st r act her , i f f or some br i ef moment , f r om her l i f e. She t hought about Di t a. She l oved her so damn much. Why coul dn' t she be mor e l i ke her ? Just t hi nki ng about i t made her want t o puke. Af t er some t i me, Dar by f ound her sel f i n t he gr eat hal l . The next t hi ng she saw was t he t r i bal Af ghan r ug, whi ch l ef t her f eel i ng di squi et ed. Thi ngs. The house was f ul l of t hi ngs. When
she got ol d enough t o have a hous e, she' d own not hi ng. Ki ah ent er ed t he mast er bedr oom. She st ar ed at t he ki ng si zed bed uncompr ehendi ngl y. She wi shed t he booze woul d ki ck i n. Di t a wal ked i nt o t he f oy er and saw Phi l omena. Gr eat . Di t a pl ayed ner vousl y wi t h her sweat er i n a successf ul bi d t o avoi d t al ki ng t o Phi l omena. Af t er some t i me, Vi vi anna f ound her sel f i n t he f r ont yar d. " Wow, check out t hat t r ee, " she sai d t o no one i n par t i c ul ar . She hear d a noi se f r om somewher e el se i n t he house. Gal e ent er ed t he ki t chen. Gal e r i f l ed t hr ough t he cabi net s f or al cohol . " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he f r ont yar d al l t o mysel f , " t hought Vi vi anna. " Wow, check out t hat t r ee, " she sai d t o no one i n par t i cul ar . Par t of her , a l ar ger par t t han she car ed t o admi t , want ed t o smash i t . Dar by f ound Ki ah i n t he gr eat hal l . Dar by avoi ded Ki ah. Gal e l ook ed ar ound t he ki t chen. The oven caught her eye. She t hought i t was t he ugl i est t hi ng she' d ever seen. Thi ngs. The house was f ul l of t hi ngs. When she got ol d enough t o have a house, she' d own not hi ng. She t hought about school , and how Phi l omena and Gal e got bet t er gr ades t han her . Wer e t hey j eal ous of her somehow? Not l i kel y. They wer e al ways l aughi ng wi t h t hei r per f ect f r i ends. Phi l omena ent er ed t he l i br ar y t o f i nd Di t a st andi ng t her e. " Why woul d you get your f i ve year ol d daught er m&g t i cket s anyways um t hose boys mean so much t o so many of us and we never meet t hem so?" i nqui r ed Phi l omena. Di t a f l i nched. " because I woul d hav e r at her gone wi t h your husband t o t ake hi s r eal daught er shoppi ng. " Phi l omena l ooked ar ound t he l i br ar y. " Wow, check out t hat bookshel f , " she sai d t o no one i n par t i cul ar . She was hopi ng i t woul d di st r act her , i f f or some br i ef moment , f r om her l i f e. She t hought about school , and how Di t a and Vi vi anna wer e such t ot al bi t ches. Wer e t hey
j eal ous of her somehow? Not l i kel y. How coul d t hat even be possi bl e? Di d t hey secr et l y l i ke her af t er al l ? I t di dn' t mat t er anyway. They wer e al ways l aughi ng wi t h t hei r per f ect f r i ends. They wal ked ar ound t he school l i ke t hey owned t he pl ace. They wer e queen bees and t hey knew i t . They al ways got t hey want ed. Al ways. Vi vi anna l ooked ar ound t he f oyer . She dut i f ul l y avoi ded t he chandel i er out of some pr i mal r espect f or i t s ot her ness. She wi shed t he booze woul d ki ck i n. Af t er some t i me, Ki ah f ound her sel f i n t he bat hr oom. She st ar ed at t he naut i cal t hemed shower cur t ai n uncompr ehendi ngl y. She wi shed t he booze woul d ki ck i n. As Dar by ent er ed t he gr eat hal l , s he saw Di t a maki ng t r oubl e. Nobody was i n t he l i br ar y, so Phi l omena f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. Phi l omena f l i pped t hr ough some books. She t hought about school , and how Vi vi anna and Ki ah never t al ked t o her . Why di d t hey l eave whenever she ent er ed a r oom? Di d t hey secr et l y l i ke her af t er al l ? I t di dn' t mat t er anyway. Di t a br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n s i ght s of t he gr eat hal l . She dut i f ul l y avoi ded t he t r i bal Af ghan r ug out of some pr i mal r espect f or i t s ot her ness. Par t of her , a l ar ger par t t han she car ed t o admi t , want ed t o smash i t . She t hought about Phi l omena. Nobody r eal l y knew how she f el t . Why di d ever yone want t o be l i ke her ? Why di d she come t o t hi s st upi d house par t y i n t he f i r st pl ace? Vi vi anna l ooked ar ound t he f oyer . The chandel i er r emi nded her of her mot her . Bar f . Thi ngs. The house was f ul l of t hi ngs. When she got ol d enough t o have a house, she' d own not hi ng. She t hought about Dar by. Dar by and t hat ost ent at i ous shi r t of her s. She l i ked her so damn much. She want ed t hat shi r t . Not hi ng el se woul d do. Maybe i f t hey coul d j ust be r eal wi t h each ot her f or once. . . Nobody r eal l y knew how she f el t . Why di d she come t o t hi s s t upi d house par t y i n t he f i r st pl ace? Gal e l ook ed ar ound t he ki t chen. She not i ced t he kni f e set . Ki nda t acky. She wi shed t he booze woul d ki ck i n.
The bat hr oom hel d t wo i t ems of i nt er est t o Ki ah: t he t oi l et and Dar by. Di t a ent er ed t he guest bedr oom. Di t a guessed t hat t hi s was t he most bor i ng r oom i n t he house. She t hought about Gal e. She hat ed her so damn much. Nobody r eal l y knew how she f el t . Why di d she come t o t hi s s t upi d house par t y i n t he f i r st pl ace? Nobody was i n t he l i br ar y, so Vi vi anna f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. Vi vi anna f l i pped t hr ough some books. Dar by l ook ed ar ound t he gr eat hal l . Dar by st ar ed down t he hal l , whi ch seemed l onger t han i t had any r i ght t o be. " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he bat hr oom al l t o mysel f , " t hought Ki ah. The next t hi ng she saw was t he t oi l et , whi c h l ef t her f eel i ng di squi et ed. She wi shed t he booze woul d ki ck i n. Phi l omena ent er ed t he f r ont yar d. She st ar ed at t he t r ee uncompr ehendi ngl y. Why she not i c ed i n t he f i r st pl ace was beyond her . She t hought about school , and how Ki ah and Dar by di dn' t have t o t r y har d t o be l i ked. They wal ked ar ound t he school l i ke t hey owned t he pl ace. They never i nvi t ed her t o par t i es; i t was a f l uke she ended up at t hi s one. They al ways got t hey want ed. Al ways. But l i f e was pr obabl y har d f or t hem t oo, i n i t s own way. I t al ways i s. Nobody was i n t he guest bedr oom, so Di t a f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. Di t a guessed t hat t hi s was t he most bor i ng r oom i n t he house. Af t er some t i me, Vi vi anna f ound her sel f i n t he f oyer . " Wow, check out t hat si de t abl e, " she sai d t o no one i n par t i c ul ar . She was hopi ng i t woul d di st r act her , i f f or some br i ef moment , f r om her l i f e. Phi l omena l ooked ar ound t he l i vi ng r oom. Phi l omena bounced on t he sof a, hopi ng t o r ecapt ur e her chi l dhood i nnocence. The gr eat hal l was empt y. Fi nal l y, Di t a t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. Di t a t ook of f her shoes , got a r unni ng st ar t , a s l i d i n her socks down t he sl i ck har dwood f l oor s. She t hought about school , and how Ki ah and Di t a wer e such t ot al bi t ches. How coul d t hat even
be possi bl e? Di d t hey secr et l y l i ke her af t er al l ? I t di dn' t mat t er anyway. They wal k ed ar ound t he school l i ke t hey owned t he pl ace. They wer e queen bees and t hey knew i t . Nobody was i n t he f oyer , so Vi vi anna f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. Vi v i anna debat ed j ust l eavi ng t he house. Dar by ent er ed t he l i br ar y. Dar by t r i ed and f ai l ed t o open t he l ock on t he desk. " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he cl oset al l t o mysel f , " t hought Gal e. She not i ced t he br i c a br ac . Ki nda t acky . Why she not i ced i n t he f i r st pl ace was beyond her . Nobody was i n t he l i vi ng r oom, so Phi l omena f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. She dut i f ul l y avoi ded t he f l at scr een TV out of some pr i mal r espect f or i t s ot her ness. She di dn' t gi ve i t a second t hought . " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he l i br ar y al l t o mysel f , " t hought Vi vi anna. Vi vi anna t r i ed and f ai l ed t o open t he l ock on t he desk. Gal e br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he cl oset . Gal e sur r ept i ci ousl y r ear r anged t he suppl i es. Dar by ent er ed t he gr eat hal l . Di t a was t her e, as i f wai t i ng. " what ' s t he best choi ce f or me?" Di t a beamed. " Somet i mes wr i t i ng. " Phi l omena ent er ed t he l i vi ng r oom. The f l at scr een TV caught her eye. She t hought i t was t he ugl i es t t hi ng she' d ever seen. She di dn' t gi ve i t a second t hought . " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he bat hr oom al l t o mysel f , " t hought Di t a. Di t a was af r ai d, as she al ways was, t hat a mur der er l ay i n ambus h behi nd t he shower cur t ai n. Ki ah l ooked ar ound t he mast er bedr oom. She st ar ed at t he t eak dr esser uncompr ehendi ngl y. Why she not i ced i n t he f i r st pl ace was beyond her . She t hought about school , and how Phi l omena and Gal e got bet t er gr ades t han her . Wer e t hey j eal ous of her somehow? Not l i kel y. Di d t hey secr et l y l i ke her af t er al l ? I t di dn' t mat t er anyway. They wal ked ar ound t he school l i ke t hey owned t he pl ace. They wer e queen bees and t hey knew
i t . They never i nvi t ed her t o par t i es; i t was a f l uke she ended up at t hi s one. They al ways got t hey want ed. Al ways. Di d t hey sus pect she t hought about t hem so much? Gal e l ook ed ar ound t he ki t chen. " Wow, check out t hat oven, " she sai d t o no one i n par t i cul ar . Why she not i ced i n t he f i r st pl ace was beyond her . The f oyer was empt y. Fi nal l y, Phi l omena t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. She st ar ed at t he si de t abl e uncompr ehendi ngl y. Thi ngs. The house was f ul l of t hi ngs. When she got ol d enough t o have a house, she' d own not hi ng. She t hought about Gal e. She envi ed her so damn muc h. " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he gr eat hal l al l t o mysel f , " t hought Vi vi anna. " Wow, check out t hat t r i bal Af ghan r ug, " she sai d t o no one i n par t i cul ar . She hear d a noi se f r om somewher e el se i n t he house. " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he ki t chen al l t o mysel f , " t hought Gal e. The f r i dge r emi nded her of her mot her . Bar f . She wi shed t he booze woul d ki ck i n. The f oyer was empt y. Fi nal l y, Phi l omena t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. Phi l omena debat ed j ust l eavi ng t he house. " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he bat hr oom al l t o mysel f , " t hought Di t a. Di t a r el i eved her sel f . The l i br ar y was empt y. Fi nal l y, Vi vi anna t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. Vi vi anna f l i pped t hr ough some books. Af t er some t i me, Gal e f ound her sel f i n t he cl oset . Gal e l ooked f or some paper t owel s. She t hought about Ki ah. She want ed t hat pur se. Not hi ng el se woul d do. Nobody r eal l y knew how she f el t . Why di d she come t o t hi s st upi d house par t y i n t he f i r st pl ace? Di t a l ooked ar ound t he gr eat hal l . She not i ced t he t r i bal Af ghan r ug. Ki nda t acky. She di dn' t gi ve i t a second t hought . " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he l i br ar y al l t o mysel f , " t hought Vi vi anna. She st ar ed at t he mahogany wor k desk uncompr ehendi ngl y. She was hopi ng i t woul d di st r act her , i f f or some br i ef
moment , f r om her l i f e. Ki ah ent er ed t he mast er bedr oom. The ki ng si zed bed r emi nded her of her mot her . Bar f . She wi shed t he booze woul d ki ck i n. She t hought about Ki ah. She want ed t hat wat ch. Not hi ng el se woul d do. I t was al most t oo much t o deal wi t h. Why di d she come t o t hi s st upi d house par t y i n t he f i r st pl ac e? Gal e ent er ed t he cl oset . The mop r emi nded her of her mot her . Bar f . Par t of her , a l ar ger par t t han s he car ed t o admi t , want ed t o smash i t . The gr eat hal l hel d t wo i t ems of i nt er est t o Di t a: t he f ami l y por t r ai t and Ki ah. Di t a avoi ded Ki ah. She t hought about Ki ah. She l oved her so damn much. I t was al most t oo much t o deal wi t h. Why di d ever yone want t o be l i ke her ? Just t hi nki ng about i t made her want t o puke. " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he ki t chen al l t o mysel f , " t hought Gal e. Gal e r i f l ed t hr ough t he cabi net s f or al cohol . She t hought about school , and how Ki ah and Phi l omena wer e such t ot al bi t ches. Di d t hey s ecr et l y l i ke her af t er al l ? I t di dn' t mat t er anyway. They wal ked ar ound t he school l i ke t hey owned t he pl ace. They wer e queen bees and t hey knew i t . Phi l omena l ooked ar ound t he l i vi ng r oom. Phi l omena t ur ned on t he TV f or a whi l e. " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he f r ont yar d al l t o mysel f , " t hought Vi vi anna. Vi vi anna r an her f i nger s t hr ough t he wel l mani c ur ed gr ass, dr eami ng of bet t er days. As Ki ah ent er ed t he gr eat hal l , she saw Di t a maki ng t r oubl e. " What i s your f avor i t e song of f of Char l at an' s web?" Ki ah demanded. " Headl i ght s . " Phi l omena br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he l i vi ng r oom. Phi l omena bounc ed on t he sof a, hopi ng t o r ecapt ur e her chi l dhood i nnocence. " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he br eakf ast nook al l t o mysel f , " t hought Gal e. She dut i f ul l y avoi ded t he t abl e out of some pr i mal r espect f or i t s ot her ness. Par t of her , a l ar ger par t t han she car ed t o admi t , want ed t o smash i t .
Phi l omena encount er ed Vi vi anna i n t he l i vi ng r oom. Phi l omena avoi ded Vi vi anna. As Vi vi anna ent er ed t he l i vi ng r oom, she saw Phi l omena maki ng t r oubl e. " Wher e di d you get t hat phone, Phi l omena?" Phi l omena i gnor ed her . She t hought about school , and how Phi l omena and Dar by di dn' t have t o t r y har d t o be l i ked. How coul d t hat even be possi bl e? Di d t hey s ecr et l y l i ke her af t er al l ? I t di dn' t mat t er anyway. They al ways got t hey want ed. Al ways. Dar by ent er ed t he mast er bat hr oom. " Wow, check out t hat bl onde onyx t oi l et , " she s ai d t o no one i n par t i cul ar . Why she not i ced i n t he f i r st pl ace was beyond her . Gal e br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he ki t chen. The kni f e set r emi nded her of her mot her . Bar f . Thi ngs. The house was f ul l of t hi ngs. When she got ol d enough t o have a house, she' d own not hi ng. As Di t a ent er ed t he gr eat hal l , she saw Ki ah maki ng t r oubl e. " What ' s your f avour i t e ai r por t ?" asked Di t a. " exo at t he ai r por t on 130603 was l i t er al l y t he best day ever yone l ooked f ucki ng amazi ng i t . " " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he f oyer al l t o mysel f , " t hought Phi l omena. Phi l omena debat ed j us t l eavi ng t he house. Di t a ent er ed t he gr eat hal l . Ki ah was t her e, as i f wai t i ng. Ki ah s t i f f ened and began t o r ambl e, not not i ci ng Di t a, as i f i n a f ugue st at e. " I don' t r emember any det ai l s about t hi s dr eam. I j ust know t hey wer e goi ng t o dr af t 7 women i n t he ar my ( Vi et nam war ) and t hey went down t he l i ne of women and sai d, " Do you want t o f i ght f or your count r y?" I wasn' t i n t he dr eam. I t was l i ke I was wat chi ng i t happen. " Af t er some t i me, Vi vi anna f ound her sel f i n t he l i vi ng r oom. Vi vi anna t ur ned on t he TV f or a whi l e. She t hought about school , and how Phi l omena and Gal e had mor e money t han she di d. Why di d t hey l eave whenever she ent er ed a r oom? How coul d t hat even be possi bl e? Di d t hey s ecr et l y l i ke her af t er al l ? I t di dn' t mat t er anyway. They wal ked ar ound t he school l i ke t hey owned t he pl ace. They never i nvi t ed her t o par t i es; i t was a f l uke she ended up at
t hi s one. But l i f e was pr obabl y har d f or t hem t oo, i n i t s own way. I t al ways i s. Dar by encount er ed Di t a i n t he mast er bedr oom. Dar by st ar ed at Di t a suspi ci ousl y. " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he gr eat hal l al l t o mysel f , " t hought Ki ah. Ki ah st ar ed down t he hal l , whi ch seemed l onger t han i t had any r i ght t o be. Af t er some t i me, Gal e f ound her sel f i n t he ki t chen. She not i ced t he oven. Ki nda t ac ky. She hear d a noi se f r om somewher e el se i n t he house. Af t er some t i me, Ki ah f ound her sel f i n t he gr eat hal l . Ki ah st ar ed down t he hal l , whi ch seemed l onger t han i t had any r i ght t o be. " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he f r ont yar d al l t o mysel f , " t hought Phi l omena. Phi l omena r an her f i nger s t hr ough t he wel l mani c ur ed gr ass, dr eami ng of bet t er days. The f oyer was empt y. Fi nal l y, Vi vi anna t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. Vi vi anna debat ed j ust l eavi ng t he house. Dar by wal k ed i nt o t he mast er bedr oom and saw Di t a. Gr eat . Dar by st ar ed at Di t a suspi ci ous l y. Nobody was i n t he l i br ar y, so Ki ah f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. She s t ar ed at t he bookshel f uncompr ehendi ngl y. Why she not i ced i n t he f i r st pl ace was beyond her . She t hought about school , and how Dar by and Di t a wer e such t ot al bi t ches. Wer e t hey j eal ous of her somehow? Not l i kel y. Di d t hey secr et l y l i ke her af t er al l ? I t di dn' t mat t er anyway. They wer e al way s l aughi ng wi t h t hei r per f ect f r i ends. They wal ked ar ound t he school l i ke t hey owned t he pl ace. They wer e queen bees and t hey knew i t . But l i f e was pr obabl y har d f or t hem t oo, i n i t s own way. I t al ways i s. Di d t hey suspect she t hought about t hem so much? Phi l omena l ooked ar ound t he f r ont yar d. " Wow, check out t hat l awn, " she sai d t o no one i n par t i cul ar . Why she not i ced i n t he f i r st pl ace was beyond her . She t hought about s chool , and how Gal e and Phi l omena had mor e money t han she di d. Wer e t hey j eal ous of her somehow? Not l i kel y. Di d t hey secr et l y l i ke her af t er al l ? I t di dn' t mat t er anyway. They wer e queen bees and t hey k new i t . They never i nvi t ed her t o par t i es; i t was a f l uke she ended up
at t hi s one. Vi vi anna ent er ed t he l i v i ng r oom. The next t hi ng she saw was t he f l at scr een TV, whi ch l ef t her f eel i ng di squi et ed. Why she not i ced i n t he f i r st pl ace was beyond her . Dar by br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he gr eat hal l . Dar by st ar ed down t he hal l , whi ch seemed l onger t han i t had any r i ght t o be. The l i br ar y was empt y. Fi nal l y, Ki ah t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. She dut i f ul l y avoi ded t he mahogany wor k desk out of some pr i mal r espect f or i t s ot her ness. Par t of her , a l ar ger par t t han she c ar ed t o admi t , want ed t o smash i t . Gal e br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he ki t chen. Gal e checked t he f r i dge f or snacks. " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he f oyer al l t o mysel f , " t hought Phi l omena. Phi l omena debat ed j us t l eavi ng t he house. " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he di ni ng r oom al l t o mysel f , " t hought Vi vi anna. The di ni ng r oom t abl e caught her eye. She t hought i t was t he ugl i est t hi ng she' d ever seen. She di dn' t gi ve i t a second t hought . Dar by ent er ed t he guest bedr oom. She st ar ed at t he bed uncompr ehendi ngl y. Thi ngs. The house was f ul l of t hi ngs . When she got ol d enough t o have a house, she' d own not hi ng. Nobody was i n t he br eakf ast nook , so Gal e f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at eas e. Gal e dr ank some j ui ce, f uck i t , r i ght ? Whose house even was t hi s? Ki ah f ound Di t a i n t he gr eat hal l . Ki ah seemed cr oss. " What i s t he best t hi ng you do i n your busi ness whi ch hel ps our envi r onment ?" she demanded. " Dumb di c k , " sai d Di t a. Af t er some t i me, Phi l omena f ound her sel f i n t he f r ont yar d. The l awn r emi nded her of her mot her . Bar f . Par t of her , a l ar ger par t t han she car ed t o admi t , want ed t o smash i t . Dar by l ook ed ar ound t he guest bedr oom. Dar by guessed t hat t hi s was t he most bor i ng
r oom i n t he house. " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he bat hr oom al l t o mysel f , " t hought Ki ah. Ki ah j i ggl ed t he t oi l et handl e. The ki t chen was empt y. Fi nal l y, Gal e t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. Gal e r i f l ed t hr ough t he cabi net s f or al cohol . She t hought about Phi l omena. She l oved her so damn much. Maybe i f t hey coul d j ust be r eal wi t h each ot her f or once. . . Why di d she come t o t hi s st upi d house par t y i n t he f i r st pl ac e? Phi l omena br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he f r ont yar d. Phi l omena r an her f i nger s t hr ough t he wel l mani c ur ed gr ass, dr eami ng of bet t er days. Di t a br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n s i ght s of t he mast er bedr oom. " Wow, check out t hat ki ng si zed bed, " she sai d t o no one i n par t i cul ar . Why she not i ced i n t he f i r st pl ace was beyond her . The gr eat hal l was empt y. Fi nal l y, Dar by t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. Dar by st ar ed down t he hal l , whi ch seemed l onger t han i t had any r i ght t o be. Nobody was i n t he bat hr oom, so Ki ah f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. She st ar ed at t he naut i cal t hemed shower cur t ai n uncompr ehendi ngl y. Why she not i ced i n t he f i r st pl ace was beyond her . Gal e l ook ed ar ound t he cl oset . Gal e l ooked f or some paper t owel s. She t hought about school , and how Di t a and Ki ah t hought t hey wer e so much bet t er t han ever yone el se. Di d t hey secr et l y l i ke her af t er al l ? I t di dn' t mat t er anyway. They wer e al ways l aughi ng wi t h t hei r per f ect f r i ends. They al ways got t hey want ed. Al ways. Phi l omena br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he f r ont yar d. Phi l omena r an her f i nger s t hr ough t he wel l mani c ur ed gr ass, dr eami ng of bet t er days. Nobody was i n t he guest bedr oom, so Dar by f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. Dar by guessed t hat t hi s was t he most bor i ng r oom i n t he house. She t hought about Gal e. Gal e and t hat aquamar i ne ski r t of her s. Why coul dn' t she be mor e l i ke her ? Nobody r eal l y
knew how she f el t . Why di d ever yone want t o be l i ke her ? Af t er some t i me, Gal e f ound her sel f i n t he ki t chen. Gal e r i f l ed t hr ough t he cabi net s f or al cohol . " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he f oyer al l t o mysel f , " t hought Vi vi anna. The next t hi ng she saw was t he si de t abl e, whi ch l ef t her f eel i ng di squi et ed. Par t of her , a l ar ger par t t han she car ed t o admi t , want ed t o smas h i t . She t hought about school , and how Gal e and Phi l omena t hought t hey wer e so much bet t er t han ever yone el se. Why di d t hey l eave whenever she ent er ed a r oom? They wer e al ways l aughi ng wi t h t hei r per f ect f r i ends. They wal ked ar ound t he school l i ke t hey owned t he pl ace. They wer e queen bees and t hey knew i t . They never i nvi t ed her t o par t i es; i t was a f l uke she ended up at t hi s one. They al ways got t hey want ed. Al ways. But l i f e was pr obabl y har d f or t hem t oo, i n i t s own way. I t al ways i s. Di d t hey suspect she t hought about t hem so much? Nobody was i n t he br eakf ast nook , so Gal e f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at eas e. " Wow, check out t hat t abl e, " she sai d t o no one i n par t i cul ar . She di dn' t gi ve i t a second t hought . Di t a ent er ed t he gr eat hal l t o f i nd Dar by st andi ng t her e. " what ' s t he best t hi ng t o do i s al ways t he har dest t hi ng t o do?" Di t a asked. " Bei ng cal l ed beaut i f ul . " The f r ont y ar d was empt y. Fi nal l y, Phi l omena t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. The t r ee r emi nded her of her mot her . Bar f . She wi shed t he booze woul d ki ck i n. Di t a br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n s i ght s of t he guest bedr oom. The bed r emi nded her of her mot her . Bar f . Why she not i ced i n t he f i r st pl ace was beyond her . She t hought about school , and how Gal e and Phi l omena di dn' t have t o t r y har d t o be l i ked. They wal ked ar ound t he school l i ke t hey owned t he pl ace. But l i f e was pr obabl y har d f or t hem t oo, i n i t s own way. I t al ways i s. Di d t hey suspect she t hought about t hem so much? Vi vi anna br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he l i br ar y. Vi vi anna f l i pped t hr ough some
books. She t hought about Phi l omena. Phi l omena and t hat cr i mson phone of her s. Why di d ever yone want t o be l i ke her ? Jus t t hi nki ng about i t made her want t o puke. Why di d she come t o t hi s st upi d house par t y i n t he f i r st pl ace? Nobody was i n t he f oyer , so Ki ah f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. Ki ah debat ed j ust l eavi ng t he house. Nobody was i n t he ki t c hen, so Gal e f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. The kni f e set caught her eye. She t hought i t was t he ugl i est t hi ng she' d ever seen. She wi shed t he booze woul d ki ck i n. She t hought about Vi vi anna. She want ed t hat sweat er . Not hi ng el se woul d do. Nobody r eal l y knew how she f el t . Why di d she come t o t hi s st upi d house par t y i n t he f i r st pl ace? Phi l omena br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he l i vi ng r oom. The f l at scr een TV caught her eye. She t hought i t was t he ugl i est t hi ng she' d ever seen. Thi ngs. The house was f ul l of t hi ngs. When she got ol d enough t o have a house, she' d own not hi ng. Vi vi anna l ooked ar ound t he l i br ar y . She dut i f ul l y avoi ded t he bookshel f out of some pr i mal r espect f or i t s ot her ness. She wi shed t he booze woul d ki ck i n. Af t er some t i me, Dar by f ound her sel f i n t he mast er bedr oom. She dut i f ul l y avoi ded t he ki ng si zed bed out of some pr i mal r espect f or i t s ot her ness. She di dn' t gi ve i t a sec ond t hought . Nobody was i n t he f r ont yar d, so Ki ah f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. She st ar ed at t he t r ee uncompr ehendi ngl y. Thi ngs. The house was f ul l of t hi ngs. When she got ol d enough t o have a house, she' d own not hi ng. She t hought about Ki ah. She l i ked her so damn muc h. Why coul dn' t she be mor e l i ke her ? Why di d ever yone want t o be l i ke her ? Why di d she come t o t hi s st upi d house par t y i n t he f i r st pl ace? Phi l omena ent er ed t he f r ont yar d t o f i nd Ki ah st andi ng t her e. Phi l omena avoi ded Ki ah. Nobody was i n t he ki t c hen, so Gal e f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. The next t hi ng she saw was t he oven, whi ch l ef t her f eel i ng di squi et ed. She was hopi ng i t woul d
di st r act her , i f f or some br i ef moment , f r om her l i f e. Af t er some t i me, Phi l omena f ound her sel f i n t he gar age. Phi l omena consi der ed get t i ng on t hat l awnmower and r i di ng i t out of t hi s pl ace. She t hought about school , and how Di t a and Dar by had mor e money t han she di d. Why di d t hey l eave whenever she ent er ed a r oom? Wer e t hey j eal ous of her somehow? Not l i kel y. How coul d t hat even be possi bl e? They wal ked ar ound t he school l i ke t hey owned t he pl ace. Dar by ent er ed t he gr eat hal l t o f i nd Di t a st andi ng t her e. Dar by eyed Di t a' s i ncr edi bl e sweat er wi t h envy. The f r ont y ar d was empt y. Fi nal l y, Ki ah t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. The next t hi ng she saw was t he l awn, whi ch l ef t her f eel i ng di squi et ed. She di dn' t gi ve i t a second t hought . Di t a encount er ed Dar by i n t he gr eat hal l . Di t a appear ed concer ned. " What ' s t he BEST dess er t of al l t i me?" she demanded. " Somet i mes a sl i ce of hot but t er y c i nnamon t oast , " sai d Dar by. Nobody was i n t he guest bedr oom, so Di t a f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. Di t a guessed t hat t hi s was t he most bor i ng r oom i n t he house. Vi vi anna br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he f oyer . Vi vi anna debat ed j ust l eavi ng t he house. Ki ah ent er ed t he f r ont y ar d. Phi l omena was t her e, as i f wai t i ng. " What ' s t he best par t of bei ng soup?" " Wal ki ng t o my car . " Af t er some t i me, Phi l omena f ound her sel f i n t he f r ont yar d. Phi l omena r an her f i nger s t hr ough t he wel l mani c ur ed gr ass, dr eami ng of bet t er days. Nobody was i n t he gr eat hal l , so Di t a f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. Di t a st ar ed down t he hal l , whi ch seemed l onger t han i t had any r i ght t o be.
The mast er bat hr oom was empt y. Fi nal l y, Dar by t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. She st ar ed at t he bl onde onyx f l oor i ng uncompr ehendi ngl y. Par t of her , a l ar ger par t t han she car ed t o admi t , want ed t o smash i t . Ki ah encount er ed Vi vi anna i n t he f oyer . " Wher e di d you get t hat bel t , Vi vi anna?" Vi vi anna i gnor ed her . She t hought about sc hool , and how Vi vi anna and Phi l omena got bet t er gr ades t han her . Wer e t hey j eal ous of her somehow? Not l i kel y. But l i f e was pr obabl y har d f or t hem t oo, i n i t s own way. I t al ways i s. Nobody was i n t he back yar d, so Gal e f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. She st ar ed at t he l awn f ur ni t ur e uncompr ehendi ngl y. She hear d a noi se f r om somewher e el se i n t he house. Nobody was i n t he gr eat hal l , so Di t a f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. The t r i bal Af ghan r ug caught her eye. She t hought i t was t he ugl i est t hi ng she' d ever seen. She was hopi ng i t woul d di st r act her , i f f or s ome br i ef moment , f r om her l i f e. Af t er some t i me, Gal e f ound her sel f i n t he back yar d. The l awn f ur ni t ur e caught her eye. She t hought i t was t he ugl i est t hi ng she' d ever seen. Why she not i ced i n t he f i r st pl ace was beyond her . The f r ont y ar d hel d t wo i t ems of i nt er est t o Phi l omena: t he l awn and Ki ah. As Vi vi anna ent er ed t he f r ont yar d, she saw Phi l omena maki ng t r oubl e. " What ' s your f avor i t e TV show r i ght now?" Vi vi anna i nqui r ed. " Fr es h meat . " As Phi l omena ent er ed t he f r ont yar d, she saw Vi vi anna maki ng t r oubl e. Phi l omena st ar ed at Vi vi anna suspi ci ousl y. Nobody was i n t he l i br ar y, so Di t a f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. She st ar ed at t he mahogany wor k desk uncompr ehendi ngl y. Why she not i ced i n t he f i r st pl ace was beyond her .
The gar age was empt y. Fi nal l y, Ki ah t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. Ki ah consi der ed get t i ng on t hat l awnmower and r i di ng i t out of t hi s pl ace. Vi vi anna wal ked i nt o t he f r ont yar d and saw Phi l omena. Gr eat . " Why woul d you change f eel i ng t o f el l i ng?" Vi vi anna i nqui r ed. Phi l omena si ghed. " because I hav e a f eel i ng chucky mi ght come out of nowher e. " As Phi l omena ent er ed t he gar age, she saw Vi vi anna maki ng t r oubl e. Phi l omena avoi ded Vi vi anna. She t hought about school , and how Vi vi anna and Dar by never t al ked t o her . How coul d t hat even be possi bl e? They wal ked ar ound t he school l i ke t hey owned t he pl ace. They wer e queen bees and t hey knew i t . Nobody was i n t he f oyer , so Di t a f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. Di t a debat ed j ust l eavi ng t he house. She t hought about Dar by. Why di d ever yone want t o be l i ke her ? The gr eat hal l was empt y. Fi nal l y, Ki ah t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. The next t hi ng she saw was t he f ami l y por t r ai t , whi ch l ef t her f eel i ng di squi et ed. She di dn' t gi ve i t a second t hought . " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he l i vi ng r oom al l t o mysel f , " t hought Gal e. Gal e bounced on t he sof a, hopi ng t o r ecapt ur e her chi l dhood i nnocence. As Vi vi anna ent er ed t he gar age, she saw Phi l omena maki ng t r oubl e. " What i s t he best Lana song i n your opi ni on?" " Bor n To Di e by Lana Del Rey. " Vi vi anna f ound Phi l omena i n t he back yar d. Vi vi anna pl ayed ner vousl y wi t h her sweat er i n a successf ul bi d t o avoi d t al ki ng t o Phi l omena. She t hought about Phi l omena. I t was al most t oo much t o deal wi t h. Nobody r eal l y knew how she f el t . Just t hi nki ng about i t made her want t o puke. Dar by br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he mast er bedr oom. The t eak dr esser caught her eye. She t hought i t was t he ugl i est t hi ng she' d ever seen. Par t of her , a l ar ger par t t han
she car ed t o admi t , want ed t o smash i t . The l i br ar y was empt y. Fi nal l y, Ki ah t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. Ki ah t r i ed and f ai l ed t o open t he l ock on t he desk. She t hought about school , and how Di t a and Ki ah di dn' t have t o t r y har d t o be l i ked. Wer e t hey j eal ous of her somehow? Not l i kel y. How coul d t hat even be possi bl e? Di d t hey secr et l y l i ke her af t er al l ? I t di dn' t mat t er anyway. They wal ked ar ound t he school l i ke t hey owned t he pl ace. Di t a wal ked i nt o t he f oy er and saw Gal e. Gr eat . " What i s your f avour i t e t r ai ni ng out f i t col our ?" demanded Di t a. Gal e l aughed. " t hur sday. " Nobody was i n t he di ni ng r oom, so Phi l omena f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. The next t hi ng she saw was t he si l ver war e, whi ch l ef t her f eel i ng di squi et ed. She di dn' t gi ve i t a second t hought . She t hought about Ki ah. She envi ed her so damn much. Why coul dn' t she be mor e l i ke her ? Nobody r eal l y knew how she f el t . Just t hi nki ng about i t made her want t o puke. Why di d she come t o t hi s st upi d house par t y i n t he f i r st pl ace? Di t a ent er ed t he l i vi ng r oom. She st ar ed at t he cof f ee t abl e uncompr ehendi ngl y. Par t of her , a l ar ger par t t han she c ar ed t o admi t , want ed t o smash i t . She t hought about Gal e. I t was al most t oo much t o deal wi t h. Why coul dn' t she be mor e l i ke her ? Maybe i f t hey coul d j ust be r eal wi t h each ot her f or once. . . Nobody r eal l y knew how she f el t . Why di d she come t o t hi s s t upi d house par t y i n t he f i r st pl ace? Af t er some t i me, Vi vi anna f ound her sel f i n t he ki t chen. Vi vi anna checked t he f r i dge f or snac ks. She t hought about school , and how Ki ah and Dar by t hought t hey wer e so much bet t er t han ever yone el se. Why di d t hey l eave whenever she ent er ed a r oom? Di d t hey secr et l y l i ke her af t er al l ? I t di dn' t mat t er anyway. They wer e queen bees and t hey knew i t . They al ways got t hey want ed. Al ways. But l i f e was pr obabl y har d f or t hem t oo, i n i t s own way. I t al ways i s. " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he mast er bedr oom al l t o mysel f , " t hought Dar by. She not i ced t he ki ng si zed bed. Ki nda t acky. Par t of her , a l ar ger par t t han she car ed t o admi t , want ed t o
smash i t . She t hought about Dar by. She l i ked her so damn much. She want ed t hat shi r t . Not hi ng el se woul d do. Maybe i f t hey coul d j ust be r eal wi t h each ot her f or once. . . Gal e encount er ed Ki ah i n t he f oyer . " Ki ah, what di d you dr eam about l ast ni ght ?" asked Gal e. Ki ah seemed war y, but her f ace s of t ened. " I was i n a cl assr oom wi t h t he r est of my cl ass ( 8t h gr ade) . St eve, our t eacher and pr i nci pal , was cal l i ng up, one by one, t he peopl e wi t h l ong hai r and cut t i ng t hei r hai r so t hat i t was about j awbone l engt h. I was t he l ast per son t o be cal l ed up. I r an away and t ucked my hai r i nt o my sweat shi r t so t hat i t l ooked l i ke I had shor t hai r al r eady. Ever ybody l ooked at me l i ke I was j ust bei ng st upi d, so I went over t o St ev e. I had t o keep t el l i ng hi m not t o cut i t so shor t . I t seemed l i ke he f i nal l y cut i t j ust above shoul der l engt h. Then I was at home and l ooki ng i n t he mi r r or i n my r oom. My hai r was j ust bel ow shoul der l engt h. I wonder ed f or about 20 seconds about why he had cut i t s hor t er . I f i gur ed I j ust di dn' t see wher e St ev e cut my hai r . Then I not i ced t hat my hai r l ooked good at t hi s l engt h and l ooked at t he mi r r or f or a whi l e. " The ki t chen was empt y. Fi nal l y, Phi l omena t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. Phi l omena r i f l ed t hr ough t he cabi net s f or al cohol . The cl oset was empt y. Fi nal l y, Vi vi anna t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. Vi vi anna sur r ept i ci ousl y r ear r anged t he suppl i es. She t hought about school , and how Dar by and Phi l omena di dn' t have t o t r y har d t o be l i ked. Wer e t hey j eal ous of her somehow? Not l i kel y. How coul d t hat even be possi bl e? Di d t hey secr et l y l i ke her af t er al l ? I t di dn' t mat t er anyway. They wer e al ways l aughi ng wi t h t hei r per f ect f r i ends. They wer e queen bees and t hey knew i t . They never i nvi t ed her t o par t i es; i t was a f l uke she ended up at t hi s one. But l i f e was pr obabl y har d f or t hem t oo, i n i t s own way. I t al ways i s. Di d t hey suspect she t hought about t hem so much? " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he mast er bedr oom al l t o mysel f , " t hought Dar by. The next t hi ng she saw was t he ki ng si zed bed, whi ch l ef t her f eel i ng di squi et ed. She hear d a noi se f r om somewher e el se i n t he house. Af t er some t i me, Gal e f ound her sel f i n t he l i br ar y. Gal e t r i ed and f ai l ed t o open t he l ock on t he desk. She t hought about school , and how Ki ah and Dar by never t al ked t o her . Why di d
t hey l eave whenever she ent er ed a r oom? How coul d t hat even be possi bl e? They never i nvi t ed her t o par t i es; i t was a f l uke she ended up at t hi s one. They al ways got t hey want ed. Al ways. Di d t hey suspect she t hought about t hem so much? Di t a br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n s i ght s of t he f r ont yar d. Di t a st ar t ed t o cl i mb t he t r ee, t hen t hought bet t er of i t . She t hought about school , and how Dar by and Vi vi anna had mor e money t han she di d. Wer e t hey j eal ous of her somehow? Not l i kel y. They wal ked ar ound t he school l i ke t hey owned t he pl ace. They never i nvi t ed her t o par t i es; i t was a f l uke she ended up at t hi s one. But l i f e was pr obabl y har d f or t hem t oo, i n i t s own way. I t al ways i s. Ki ah ent er ed t he l i vi ng r oom. The cof f ee t abl e r emi nded her of her mot her . Bar f . Par t of her , a l ar ger par t t han she c ar ed t o admi t , want ed t o smash i t . She t hought about Phi l omena. She l oved her so damn much. Why coul dn' t she be mor e l i ke her ? Maybe i f t hey coul d j ust be r eal wi t h each ot her f or once. . . Nobody r eal l y knew how she f el t . Just t hi nki ng about i t made her want t o puke. Gal e ent er ed t he l i br ar y . The bookshel f caught her eye. She t hought i t was t he ugl i est t hi ng she' d ever seen. Par t of her , a l ar ger par t t han she car ed t o admi t , want ed t o smash i t . " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he ki t chen al l t o mysel f , " t hought Phi l omena. " Wow, check out t hat f r i dge, " she sai d t o no one i n par t i cul ar . She was hopi ng i t woul d di st r act her , i f f or some br i ef moment , f r om her l i f e. She t hought about school , and how Vi vi anna and Gal e got bet t er gr ades t han her . Why di d t hey l eave whenever she ent er ed a r oom? Wer e t hey j eal ous of her somehow? Not l i kel y. Di d t hey secr et l y l i ke her af t er al l ? I t di dn' t mat t er anyway. They wal ked ar ound t he school l i ke t hey owned t he pl ace. They wer e queen bees and t hey knew i t . Di d t hey suspect she t hought about t hem so much? The gar age was empt y. Fi nal l y, Di t a t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. Di t a consi der ed get t i ng on t hat l awnmower and r i di ng i t out of t hi s pl ace. Af t er some t i me, Vi vi anna f ound her sel f i n t he cl oset . Vi vi anna l ooked f or some paper t owel s. Gal e l ook ed ar ound t he gr eat hal l . She st ar ed at t he f ami l y por t r ai t uncompr ehendi ngl y.
She wi shed t he booze woul d ki ck i n. Phi l omena f ound Vi vi anna i n t he ki t chen. " Vi v i anna, what di d y ou dr eam about l ast ni ght ?" asked Phi l omena. Vi vi anna seemed war y, but her f ace sof t ened. " Al l I can r emember i s a pi ece of paper . I t hi nk i n t he dr eam I was t aki ng not es i n a cl ass. I was bor ed and doodl i ng t hi s pi ct ur e on t he paper . The paper l ooked l i ke an ey e. " " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he mast er bedr oom al l t o mysel f , " t hought Dar by. The next t hi ng she saw was t he ki ng si zed bed, whi ch l ef t her f eel i ng di squi et ed. She wi shed t he booze woul d ki ck i n. She t hought about Dar by. She hat ed her so damn much. Just t hi nki ng about i t made her want t o puke. Af t er some t i me, Ki ah f ound her sel f i n t he l i vi ng r oom. Ki ah bounced on t he sof a, hopi ng t o r ecapt ur e her chi l dhood i nnocence. She t hought about school , and how Ki ah and Di t a never t al k ed t o her . How coul d t hat even be possi bl e? They wer e al ways l aughi ng wi t h t hei r per f ect f r i ends. They wal ked ar ound t he school l i ke t hey owned t he pl ace. They al ways got t hey want ed. Al ways. But l i f e was pr obabl y har d f or t hem t oo, i n i t s own way. I t al ways i s. Di d t hey s uspect she t hought about t hem so much? The ki t chen hel d t wo i t ems of i nt er est t o Vi vi anna: t he f r i dge and Phi l omena. " What ' s your f avour i t e ai r por t ?" " exo at t he ai r por t on 130603 was l i t er al l y t he best day ever yone l ooked f ucki ng amazi ng i t . " The ki t chen was empt y. Fi nal l y, Phi l omena t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. Phi l omena r i f l ed t hr ough t he cabi net s f or al cohol . Vi vi anna br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he br eakf ast nook. The t abl e r emi nded her of her mot her . Bar f . She di dn' t gi ve i t a second t hought . As Dar by ent er ed t he gr eat hal l , s he saw Gal e maki ng t r oubl e. Dar by st ar ed at Gal e suspi ci ous l y. Ki ah ent er ed t he f oyer . Ki ah debat ed j ust l eavi ng t he house. She t hought about Vi vi anna.
She want ed t hat bel t . Not hi ng el se woul d do. I t was al most t oo much t o deal wi t h. Why coul dn' t s he be mor e l i ke her ? Why di d ever yone want t o be l i ke her ? Just t hi nki ng about i t made her want t o puke. Why di d she come t o t hi s st upi d house par t y i n t he f i r st pl ace? Gal e ent er ed t he gr eat hal l t o f i nd Dar by st andi ng t her e. Dar by was cr yi ng. Gal e ac t ed on i nst i nct . " Tel l me al l about i t . " she s ai d. Dar by obl i ged i n an unbecomi ng out pour i ng. " I wal ked i nt o school and ever yone was i n a ci r cl e ( al l t he ki ds) and no one woul d l et me i n. They j ust i gnor ed me. Even my bes t f r i end i gnor ed me. I was l ef t al one. I r an up t o t he bat hr oom and st ar t ed c r yi ng. When I asked my best f r i end what s up, she j ust sai d, " Go away, I don' t l i ke you. " " " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he ki t chen al l t o mysel f , " t hought Phi l omena. The kni f e set r emi nded her of her mot her . Bar f . She was hopi ng i t woul d di st r act her , i f f or some br i ef moment , f r om her l i f e. She t hought about school , and how Ki ah and Di t a di dn' t have t o t r y har d t o be l i ked. Wer e t hey j eal ous of her somehow? Not l i kel y. Di d t hey secr et l y l i ke her af t er al l ? I t di dn' t mat t er anyway. They wer e al ways l aughi ng wi t h t hei r per f ect f r i ends. They wer e queen bees and t hey knew i t . They never i nvi t ed her t o par t i es; i t was a f l uke she ended up at t hi s one. They al ways got t hey want ed. Al ways. Ki ah br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he f oyer . She dut i f ul l y avoi ded t he chandel i er out of some pr i mal r espect f or i t s ot her ness. Why she not i ced i n t he f i r st pl ace was beyond her . Gal e l ook ed ar ound t he l i br ar y. Gal e f l i pped t hr ough some books. She t hought about Phi l omena. Maybe i f t hey coul d j ust be r eal wi t h each ot her f or once. . . Why di d ever yone want t o be l i ke her ? Phi l omena and Vi vi anna r an i nt o each ot her i n t he ki t chen. Vi vi anna st i f f ened and began t o r ambl e, not not i ci ng Phi l omena, as i f i n a f ugue st at e. " I was i n an or ange and I coul dn' t br eat he. I t r i ed t o but I onl y coul d dr i nk t he or ange j ui ce, al t hough i t t ast ed good I st i l l coul dn' t br eat he. I f i nal l y got t o a pl ace wher e I coul d br eat he but t he or ange st ar t ed movi ng so I l ost my pl ace. I was suddenl y out si de of t he or ange wat chi ng a cl own j uggl e my or ange. He was al so j uggl i ng a mi r r or and a r emot e cont r ol . " Di t a br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n s i ght s of t he gr eat hal l . Di t a st ar ed down t he hal l , whi ch
seemed l onger t han i t had any r i ght t o be. Af t er some t i me, Dar by f ound her sel f i n t he mast er bedr oom. She not i ced t he t eak dr esser . Ki nda t acky. She wi shed t he booz e woul d ki ck i n. Ki ah ent er ed t he f oyer . Gal e was t her e, as i f wai t i ng. " Wher e di d you get t hat shi r t , Gal e?" Gal e i gnor ed her . As Vi vi anna ent er ed t he ki t chen, she saw Phi l omena maki ng t r oubl e. " What ' s your f avour i t e ai r por t ?" Vi vi anna i nqui r ed. " exo at t he ai r por t on 130603 was l i t er al l y t he best day ever yone l ooked f ucki ng amazi ng i t . " Af t er some t i me, Phi l omena f ound her sel f i n t he cl oset . The mop r emi nded her of her mot her . Bar f . Why she not i ced i n t he f i r st pl ace was beyond her . Vi vi anna br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he ki t chen. She st ar ed at t he oven uncompr ehendi ngl y. She hear d a noi se f r om somewher e el se i n t he house. The gr eat hal l was empt y. Fi nal l y, Dar by t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. Dar by st ar ed down t he hal l , whi ch seemed l onger t han i t had any r i ght t o be. The f oyer was empt y. Fi nal l y, Ki ah t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. Ki ah debat ed j ust l eavi ng t he house. Gal e ent er ed t he l i br ar y . Gal e t r i ed and f ai l ed t o open t he l ock on t he desk. Dar by l ook ed ar ound t he guest bedr oom. Dar by i magi ned what ki nd of peopl e had s t ayed i n t he bed. How many peopl e had had sex i n i t ? She t hought about Gal e. Gal e and t hat aquamar i ne ski r t of her s. She want ed t hat shi r t . Not hi ng el se woul d do. I t was al most t oo much t o deal wi t h. Why coul dn' t she be mor e l i ke her ? Maybe i f t hey coul d j ust be r eal wi t h each ot her f or once. . . Ki ah l ooked ar ound t he f oyer . " Wow, check out t hat chandel i er , " she sai d t o no one i n
par t i cul ar . She hear d a noi se f r om somewher e el se i n t he house. " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he l i br ar y al l t o mysel f , " t hought Gal e. The mahogany wor k desk r emi nded her of her mot her . Bar f . She di dn' t gi ve i t a second t hought . She t hought about school , and how Di t a and Phi l omena got bet t er gr ades t han her . Why di d t hey l eave whenever she ent er ed a r oom? How coul d t hat ev en be possi bl e? They wer e al ways l aughi ng wi t h t hei r per f ect f r i ends. They wer e queen bees and t hey knew i t . They never i nvi t ed her t o par t i es; i t was a f l uk e she ended up at t hi s one. They al ways got t hey want ed. Al ways. Di d t hey suspect she t hought about t hem so much? Phi l omena ent er ed t he ki t chen. Vi vi anna was t her e, as i f wai t i ng. " Why do you hat e me so much?" demanded Phi l omena. Vi vi anna chuckl ed. " because I hat e f angi r l i ng f or peopl e who don' t make musi c anymor e. " Af t er some t i me, Dar by f ound her sel f i n t he gr eat hal l . She dut i f ul l y avoi ded t he f ami l y por t r ai t out of some pr i mal r espect f or i t s ot her ness. Why she not i ced i n t he f i r st pl ace was beyond her . Ki ah ent er ed t he f r ont y ar d. Ki ah s t ar t ed t o cl i mb t he t r ee, t hen t hought bet t er of i t . " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he ki t chen al l t o mysel f , " t hought Vi vi anna. Vi vi anna checked t he f r i dge f or snac ks. She t hought about Gal e. Why coul dn' t she be mor e l i ke her ? Nobody r eal l y knew how she f el t . Why di d ever yone want t o be l i ke her ? Why di d she come t o t hi s st upi d house par t y i n t he f i r st pl ace? Ki ah l ooked ar ound t he f oyer . The next t hi ng she saw was t he chandel i er , whi ch l ef t her f eel i ng di squi et ed. She hear d a noi se f r om somewher e el se i n t he house. " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he l i vi ng r oom al l t o mysel f , " t hought Gal e. " Wow, check out t hat cof f ee t abl e, " she sai d t o no one i n par t i c ul ar . Thi ngs. The house was f ul l of t hi ngs. When she got ol d enough t o have a house, she' d own not hi ng. Af t er some t i me, Di t a f ound her sel f i n t he mast er bat hr oom. She not i ced t he bl onde onyx count er t op. Ki nda t acky. Thi ngs. The house was f ul l of t hi ngs. When she got ol d enough t o
have a house, she' d own not hi ng. Af t er some t i me, Dar by f ound her sel f i n t he gr eat hal l . Dar by t ook of f her shoes, got a r unni ng st ar t , a sl i d i n her socks down t he sl i ck har dwood f l oor s. She t hought about Phi l omena. Why coul dn' t she be mor e l i ke her ? Nobody r eal l y knew how she f el t . Why di d ever yone want t o be l i ke her ? Jus t t hi nki ng about i t made her want t o puke. The f oyer was empt y. Fi nal l y, Ki ah t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. " Wow, check out t hat chandel i er , " she sai d t o no one i n par t i cul ar . She wi shed t he booze woul d ki ck i n. Gal e l ook ed ar ound t he l i vi ng r oom. Gal e bounced on t he sof a, hopi ng t o r ecapt ur e her chi l dhood i nnocence. She t hought about Vi vi anna. She want ed t hat sweat er . Not hi ng el se woul d do. Maybe i f t hey coul d j ust be r eal wi t h each ot her f or once. . . Why di d ever y one want t o be l i ke her ? Af t er some t i me, Phi l omena f ound her sel f i n t he ki t chen. Phi l omena checked t he f r i dge f or snac ks. She t hought about Phi l omena. I t was al most t oo much t o deal wi t h. Why di d she come t o t hi s st upi d house par t y i n t he f i r st pl ace? Dar by ent er ed t he guest bedr oom. The next t hi ng she saw was t he bed, whi ch l ef t her f eel i ng di squi et ed. She was hopi ng i t woul d di st r act her , i f f or some br i ef moment , f r om her l i f e. She t hought about school , and how Phi l omena and Vi v i anna had mor e money t han she di d. How c oul d t hat even be possi bl e? They wer e al ways l aughi ng wi t h t hei r per f ect f r i ends. They wal ked ar ound t he school l i ke t hey owned t he pl ace. But l i f e was pr obabl y har d f or t hem t oo, i n i t s own way. I t al ways i s. Di d t hey suspect she t hought about t hem so much? " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he l i vi ng r oom al l t o mysel f , " t hought Ki ah. The cof f ee t abl e caught her eye. She t hought i t was t he ugl i es t t hi ng she' d ever seen. She di dn' t gi ve i t a second t hought . She t hought about school , and how Dar by and Gal e wer e such t ot al bi t ches. How coul d t hat even be possi bl e? Di d t hey secr et l y l i ke her af t er al l ? I t di dn' t mat t er any way. They never i nvi t ed her t o par t i es; i t was a f l uke she ended up at t hi s one. They al ways got t hey want ed. Al ways. But l i f e was pr obabl y har d f or t hem t oo, i n i t s own way. I t al ways i s. Di d t hey s uspect she t hought about t hem so much?
Di t a br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n s i ght s of t he mast er bedr oom. The t eak dr esser r emi nded her of her mot her . Bar f . Why she not i ced i n t he f i r st pl ace was beyond her . Af t er some t i me, Dar by f ound her sel f i n t he gr eat hal l . The f ami l y por t r ai t r emi nded her of her mot her . Bar f . She hear d a noi se f r om somewher e el se i n t he house. The f r ont y ar d was empt y. Fi nal l y, Ki ah t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. She st ar ed at t he t r ee uncompr ehendi ngl y. Why she not i ced i n t he f i r st pl ace was beyond her . She t hought about school , and how Phi l omena and Gal e wer e such t ot al bi t ches. Wer e t hey j eal ous of her somehow? Not l i kel y. Di d t hey secr et l y l i ke her af t er al l ? I t di dn' t mat t er anyway. They wal ked ar ound t he school l i ke t hey owned t he pl ace. But l i f e was pr obabl y har d f or t hem t oo, i n i t s own way. I t al ways i s. Gal e ent er ed t he gar age t o f i nd Vi v i anna st andi ng t her e. " what ' s your f avour i t e song?" " Ar t Pop. " Phi l omena l ooked ar ound t he br eakf ast nook. The next t hi ng she saw was t he t oas t er , whi ch l ef t her f eel i ng di squi et ed. She hear d a noi se f r om somewher e el se i n t he house. Vi vi anna encount er ed Gal e i n t he back yar d. Vi vi anna avoi ded Gal e. Nobody was i n t he guest bedr oom, so Dar by f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. " Wow, check out t hat set of cur t ai ns, " she sai d t o no one i n par t i cul ar . Thi ngs. The house was f ul l of t hi ngs. When she got ol d enough t o have a house, she' d own not hi ng. " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he l i vi ng r oom al l t o mysel f , " t hought Ki ah. Ki ah bounced on t he sof a, hopi ng t o r ecapt ur e her chi l dhood i nnocence. Gal e encount er ed Vi vi anna i n t he back yar d. Vi vi anna l ooked di r ect l y at Gal e. " I had t he wei r dest dr eam, " she sai d. " A mal e nar r at or sai d t hat women become i nf at uat ed wi t h men who don' t l ove t hem. I saw a bl ack and whi t e pi ct ur e of s ever al coupl es wi t h t he f emal e beami ng and t he mal e wi t h an uneasy l ook on hi s f ace. " Phi l omena ent er ed t he br eakf ast nook. Phi l omena dr ank some j ui ce, f uck i t , r i ght ? Whose
house even was t hi s? Di t a l ooked ar ound t he gr eat hal l . Di t a st ar ed down t he hal l , whi ch seemed l onger t han i t had any r i ght t o be. She t hought about school , and how Di t a and Vi vi anna t hought t hey wer e so much bet t er t han ever yone el se. How coul d t hat even be possi bl e? They wer e al ways l aughi ng wi t h t hei r per f ect f r i ends. They wal ked ar ound t he school l i ke t hey owned t he pl ace. They wer e queen bees and t hey knew i t . They never i nvi t ed her t o par t i es; i t was a f l uke she ended up at t hi s one. They al ways got t hey want ed. Al ways. " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he guest bedr oom al l t o mysel f , " t hought Dar by. The set of cur t ai ns caught her eye. She t hought i t was t he ugl i est t hi ng she' d ever seen. She di dn' t gi ve i t a s econd t hought . Nobody was i n t he l i vi ng r oom, so Ki ah f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. The cof f ee t abl e r emi nded her of her mot her . Bar f . She hear d a noi se f r om somewher e el se i n t he house. " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he ki t chen al l t o mysel f , " t hought Gal e. She not i ced t he f r i dge. Ki nda t acky . She hear d a noi se f r om somewher e el se i n t he house. As Phi l omena ent er ed t he ki t chen, she saw Gal e maki ng t r oubl e. " Wher e di d you get t hat ski r t , Gal e?" Gal e i gnor ed her . Ki ah ent er ed t he di ni ng r oom. Vi vi anna was t her e, as i f wai t i ng. Ki ah avoi ded Vi vi anna. Dar by f ound Di t a i n t he gr eat hal l . " why do you l et me t ake f our hour naps?" Di t a f l i nched. " because i need t her apy, but because t he Xanax deal er on t he cor ner wont t ake my i ns ur ance. " Af t er some t i me, Phi l omena f ound her sel f i n t he cl oset . Phi l omena l ooked f or some paper t owel s. Di t a br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n s i ght s of t he l i br ar y. The bookshel f caught her eye. She t hought i t was t he ugl i est t hi ng she' d ever seen. She wi shed t he booze woul d ki ck i n.
The l i vi ng r oom was empt y. Fi nal l y, Ki ah t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. The next t hi ng she saw was t he cof f ee t abl e, whi ch l ef t her f eel i ng di squi et ed. Why she not i ced i n t he f i r st pl ace was beyond her . She t hought about Di t a. She l oved her so damn much. She want ed t hat sweat er . Not hi ng el se woul d do. Why coul dn' t she be mor e l i ke her ? Nobody r eal l y knew how she f el t . Why di d s he come t o t hi s st upi d house par t y i n t he f i r st pl ace? Af t er some t i me, Gal e f ound her sel f i n t he ki t chen. The kni f e set r emi nded her of her mot her . Bar f . She di dn' t gi ve i t a second t hought . Phi l omena encount er ed Gal e i n t he ki t chen. Phi l omena pl ayed ner vousl y wi t h her scar f i n a successf ul bi d t o avoi d t al ki ng t o Gal e. She t hought about Gal e. She want ed t hat s hi r t . Not hi ng el se woul d do. Why coul dn' t she be mor e l i ke her ? Why di d she come t o t hi s st upi d house par t y i n t he f i r st pl ace? Di t a l ooked ar ound t he l i br ar y. She not i ced t he mahogany wor k desk. Ki nda t acky. She was hopi ng i t woul d di s t r act her , i f f or some br i ef moment , f r om her l i f e. She t hought about Dar by. Dar by and t hat emer al d coat of her s. Nobody r eal l y knew how she f el t . Just t hi nki ng about i t made her want t o puke. Why di d she come t o t hi s st upi d house par t y i n t he f i r st pl ace? The mast er bedr oom was empt y. Fi nal l y, Dar by t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. She st ar ed at t he ki ng si zed bed uncompr ehendi ngl y. Par t of her , a l ar ger par t t han she car ed t o admi t , want ed t o smash i t . Nobody was i n t he f oyer , so Ki ah f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. Ki ah debat ed j ust l eavi ng t he house. Phi l omena l ooked ar ound t he ki t chen. Phi l omena checked t he f r i dge f or snacks. Dar by ent er ed t he mast er bat hr oom. She dut i f ul l y avoi ded t he bl onde onyx t oi l et out of some pr i mal r espect f or i t s ot her ness. She was hopi ng i t woul d di st r act her , i f f or some br i ef moment , f r om her l i f e. She t hought about Phi l omena. Phi l omena and t hat cr i mson phone of her s. She want ed t hat sc ar f . Not hi ng el se woul d do. I t was al most t oo much t o deal wi t h. Why di d ever yone want t o be l i ke her ? Just t hi nki ng about i t made her want t o
puke. Nobody was i n t he cl os et , so Gal e f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. Gal e sur r ept i ci ousl y r ear r anged t he suppl i es. She t hought about Ki ah. Maybe i f t hey coul d j ust be r eal wi t h each ot her f or once. . . Why di d ever yone want t o be l i ke her ? Ki ah wal k ed i nt o t he f oyer and saw Di t a. Gr eat . " What ' s your f avor i t e par t of t he t r i p?" " Mmm, cuddl i ng up i n bed. " " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he f oyer al l t o mysel f , " t hought Di t a. Di t a debat ed j ust l eavi ng t he house. Phi l omena ent er ed t he ki t chen t o f i nd Gal e st andi ng t her e. " What ' s your f avour i t e ki nd of musi c t o l i st en t o whi l e cooki ng?" " i ncoher ent j ami e, " sai d Gal e. Phi l omena br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he cl oset . Phi l omena l ooked f or some paper t owel s. She t hought about Vi vi anna. Vi vi anna and t hat aquamar i ne sweat er of her s. I t was al most t oo much t o deal wi t h. Just t hi nki ng about i t made her want t o puke. The f r ont y ar d was empt y. Fi nal l y, Di t a t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. Di t a r an her f i nger s t hr ough t he wel l mani cur ed gr ass, dr eami ng of bet t er days. She t hought about Phi l omena. Why di d ever yone want t o be l i ke her ? Why di d she come t o t hi s st upi d house par t y i n t he f i r st pl ace? " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he gr eat hal l al l t o mysel f , " t hought Vi vi anna. The f ami l y por t r ai t r emi nded her of her mot her . Bar f . She hear d a noi se f r om somewher e el se i n t he house. She t hought about school , and how Gal e and Dar by di dn' t have t o t r y har d t o be l i ked. Wer e t hey j eal ous of her somehow? Not l i kel y. They wer e al ways l aughi ng wi t h t hei r per f ect f r i ends. They never i nvi t ed her t o par t i es; i t was a f l uke she ended up at t hi s one. They al ways got t hey want ed. Al ways. But l i f e was pr obabl y har d f or t hem t oo, i n i t s own way. I t al ways i s. Di d t hey suspect she t hought about t hem so much? Af t er some t i me, Dar by f ound her sel f i n t he mast er bedr oom. She not i ced t he ki ng s i zed
bed. Ki nda t acky. She di dn' t gi ve i t a second t hought . Af t er some t i me, Gal e f ound her sel f i n t he ki t chen. Gal e checked t he f r i dge f or snacks. " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he cl oset al l t o mysel f , " t hought Phi l omena. " Wow, check out t hat mop, " she sai d t o no one i n par t i cul ar . She was hopi ng i t woul d di st r act her , i f f or some br i ef moment , f r om her l i f e. " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he guest bedr oom al l t o mysel f , " t hought Vi vi anna. She dut i f ul l y avoi ded t he post er of a. . . Monet ? out of some pr i mal r espect f or i t s ot her ness. She di dn' t gi v e i t a second t hought . She t hought about school , and how Ki ah and Vi vi anna wer e such t ot al bi t ches. They never i nvi t ed her t o par t i es; i t was a f l uke she ended up at t hi s one. They al ways got t hey want ed. Al ways. But l i f e was pr obabl y har d f or t hem t oo, i n i t s own way. I t al ways i s. Di d t hey suspect she t hought about t hem so muc h? Dar by br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he mast er bat hr oom. She not i ced t he bl onde onyx f l oor i ng. Ki nda t ac ky. She was hopi ng i t woul d di st r act her , i f f or some br i ef moment , f r om her l i f e. Ki ah ent er ed t he l i vi ng r oom. She dut i f ul l y avoi ded t he f l at scr een TV out of some pr i mal r espect f or i t s ot her ness. She di dn' t gi ve i t a second t hought . Af t er some t i me, Gal e f ound her sel f i n t he ki t chen. Gal e checked t he f r i dge f or snacks. Vi vi anna l ooked ar ound t he guest bedr oom. Vi vi anna i magi ned what ki nd of peopl e had st ayed i n t he bed. How many peopl e had had sex i n i t ? Dar by ent er ed t he mast er bedr oom. " Wow, check out t hat t eak dr esser , " she sai d t o no one i n par t i cul ar . She hear d a noi se f r om somewher e el se i n t he house. Ki ah ent er ed t he f r ont y ar d t o f i nd Di t a st andi ng t her e. Ki ah avoi ded Di t a. Gal e and Phi l omena r an i nt o eac h ot her i n t he ki t chen. Phi l omena st i f f ened and began t o r ambl e, not not i c i ng Gal e, as i f i n a f ugue st at e. " I don' t r emember any det ai l s about t hi s dr eam. I j ust know t hey wer e goi ng t o dr af t 7 women i n t he ar my ( Vi et nam war ) and t hey went down t he l i ne of women and sai d, " Do you want t o f i ght f or your count r y?" I wasn' t i n t he dr eam. I t was
l i ke I was wat chi ng i t happen. " Di t a wal ked i nt o t he f r ont yar d and saw Ki ah. Gr eat . " Why do you t hi nk I car e, your annoyi ng act ual l y?" Di t a asked. " because I di dn' t l i ke someone she got mad at me l i ke t hat ' s so annoyi ng haha, " sai d Ki ah. Nobody was i n t he l i vi ng r oom, so Di t a f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. The next t hi ng she saw was t he f l at scr een TV, whi ch l ef t her f eel i ng di squi et ed. Par t of her , a l ar ger par t t han s he car ed t o admi t , want ed t o smash i t . She t hought about Phi l omena. I t was al most t oo much t o deal wi t h. Why coul dn' t she be mor e l i ke her ? Maybe i f t hey coul d j ust be r eal wi t h each ot her f or once. . . Nobody r eal l y knew how she f el t . " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he mast er bedr oom al l t o mysel f , " t hought Dar by. The t eak dr ess er r emi nded her of her mot her . Bar f . Par t of her , a l ar ger par t t han she car ed t o admi t , want ed t o smash i t . She t hought about Ki ah. Ki ah and t hat f ashi onabl e pur se of her s. She l i ked her so damn much. Maybe i f t hey coul d j ust be r eal wi t h each ot her f or once. . . Why di d ever yone want t o be l i ke her ? Jus t t hi nki ng about i t made her want t o puke. Ki ah ent er ed t he f r ont y ar d. Ki ah r an her f i nger s t hr ough t he wel l mani cur ed gr ass, dr eami ng of bet t er days. Di t a and Ki ah r an i nt o each ot her i n t he l i vi ng r oom. Di t a avoi ded Ki ah. Nobody was i n t he guest bedr oom, so Vi vi anna f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. The next t hi ng she saw was t he set of cur t ai ns, whi ch l ef t her f eel i ng di squi et ed. She hear d a noi se f r om somewher e el se i n t he house. The gr eat hal l was empt y. Fi nal l y, Dar by t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. Dar by t ook of f her shoes, got a r unni ng st ar t , a sl i d i n her socks down t he sl i ck har dwood f l oor s. She t hought about school , and how Gal e and Phi l omena wer e such t ot al bi t ches. Wer e t hey j eal ous of her somehow? Not l i kel y. Di d t hey secr et l y l i ke her af t er al l ? I t di dn' t mat t er anyway. They wal ked ar ound t he school l i ke t hey owned t he pl ace. They wer e queen bees and t hey knew i t . They al ways got t hey want ed. Al ways. But l i f e was pr obabl y har d f or t hem
t oo, i n i t s own way. I t al ways i s. Gal e wal k ed i nt o t he di ni ng r oom and saw Phi l omena. Gr eat . " What ' s your f avour i t e l i ne f r om a Soca chune?" " Loool t hat . " Vi vi anna br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he gr eat hal l . Vi vi anna t ook of f her shoes, got a r unni ng st ar t , a sl i d i n her socks down t he sl i ck har dwood f l oor s. " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he l i br ar y al l t o mysel f , " t hought Dar by. Dar by t r i ed and f ai l ed t o open t he l ock on t he desk. Af t er some t i me, Ki ah f ound her sel f i n t he di ni ng r oom. She dut i f ul l y avoi ded t he si l v er war e out of some pr i mal r espect f or i t s ot her ness. She di dn' t gi ve i t a second t hought . The l i vi ng r oom hel d t wo i t ems of i nt er est t o Gal e: t he f l at scr een TV and Di t a. Gal e eyed Di t a' s i ncr edi bl e phone wi t h envy. As Phi l omena ent er ed t he l i vi ng r oom, she saw Di t a maki ng t r oubl e. " Why woul d you set t l e f or second when I ' m i n f i r st pl ace and want i ng uou ever yday?" Phi l omena asked. " because I l ove seei ng her happy f ace ever yday☺, " sai d Di t a. Phi l omena encount er ed Di t a i n t he di ni ng r oom. Di t a st i f f ened and began t o r ambl e, not not i c i ng Phi l omena, as i f i n a f ugue st at e. " I was cl eani ng my r oom and f ound a car d cover ed i n i nches of l i nt and dust . When I bl ew on i t , i t f l ew up and cl ogged up my nose. " Di t a encount er ed Phi l omena i n t he di ni ng r oom. Di t a st ar ed at Phi l omena suspi ci ousl y. Ki ah ent er ed t he l i vi ng r oom. She dut i f ul l y avoi ded t he f l at scr een TV out of some pr i mal r espect f or i t s ot her ness. She hear d a noi se f r om somewher e el se i n t he house. Gal e br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he f oyer . The chandel i er caught her ey e. She t hought i t was t he ugl i est t hi ng she' d ever seen. Why she not i ced i n t he f i r st pl ace was beyond her . She t hought about school , and how Ki ah and Di t a di dn' t have t o t r y har d t o be
l i ked. Why di d t hey l eave whenever she ent er ed a r oom? Wer e t hey j eal ous of her somehow? Not l i kel y. How coul d t hat even be possi bl e? They wer e al ways l aughi ng wi t h t hei r per f ec t f r i ends. They wal ked ar ound t he school l i ke t hey owned t he pl ace. Di d t hey suspect she t hought about t hem so much? Vi vi anna ent er ed t he gr eat hal l t o f i nd Dar by st andi ng t her e. Vi vi anna eyed Dar by' s emer al d c oat wi t h envy. She t hought about school , and how Dar by and Phi l omena wer e such t ot al bi t ches. How coul d t hat even be possi bl e? They wer e al ways l aughi ng wi t h t hei r per f ect f r i ends. They never i nvi t ed her t o par t i es; i t was a f l uke she ended up at t hi s one. They al ways got t hey want ed. Al ways. Di d t hey suspect she t hought about t hem so much? Di t a encount er ed Phi l omena i n t he l i vi ng r oom. " What ' s t he best communi t y school t o go t o ?" Di t a asked. Phi l omena squi r med. " Ther e' s a r eason why RJ. " Vi vi anna ent er ed t he guest bedr oom. She st ar ed at t he bed uncompr ehendi ngl y. She wi shed t he booze woul d ki ck i n. She t hought about Ki ah. I t was al most t oo much t o deal wi t h. Just t hi nki ng about i t made her want t o puke. Why di d she come t o t hi s st upi d house par t y i n t he f i r st pl ace? Di t a br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n s i ght s of t he l i br ar y. Di t a t r i ed and f ai l ed t o open t he l ock on t he des k. Vi vi anna br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he guest bedr oom. She dut i f ul l y av oi ded t he post er of a. . . Monet ? out of some pr i mal r espect f or i t s ot her ness. Par t of her , a l ar ger par t t han s he car ed t o admi t , want ed t o smash i t . She t hought about Dar by. She l oved her so damn much. She want ed t hat s hi r t . Not hi ng el se woul d do. I t was al most t oo much t o deal wi t h. J ust t hi nki ng about i t made her want t o puke. Why di d she come t o t hi s st upi d house par t y i n t he f i r st pl ace? " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he bat hr oom al l t o mysel f , " t hought Dar by . The next t hi ng she saw was t he f r amed phot o of a f i sh, whi ch l ef t her f eel i ng di squi et ed. She was hopi ng i t woul d di st r act her , i f f or some br i ef moment , f r om her l i f e. She t hought about school , and how Phi l omena
and Di t a di dn' t have t o t r y har d t o be l i ked. Why di d t hey l eave whenever she ent er ed a r oom? How coul d t hat even be possi bl e? They wal ked ar ound t he school l i ke t hey owned t he pl ace. They wer e queen bees and t hey knew i t . They never i nvi t ed her t o par t i es; i t was a f l uke she ended up at t hi s one. They al ways got t hey want ed. Al ways. But l i f e was pr obabl y har d f or t hem t oo, i n i t s own way. I t al ways i s. Di d t hey suspect she t hought about t hem so much? Phi l omena l ooked ar ound t he bac k yar d. The l awn f ur ni t ur e caught her eye. She t hought i t was t he ugl i est t hi ng she' d ever seen. She hear d a noi se f r om somewher e el se i n t he house. The guest bedr oom was empt y. Fi nal l y, Vi vi anna t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. The post er of a. . . Monet ? r emi nded her of her mot her . Bar f . Why she not i ced i n t he f i r st pl ace was beyond her . Af t er some t i me, Dar by f ound her sel f i n t he gr eat hal l . Dar by t ook of f her shoes, got a r unni ng st ar t , a sl i d i n her socks down t he sl i ck har dwood f l oor s. She t hought about Phi l omena. Phi l omena and t hat cr i mson phone of her s. She want ed t hat scar f . Not hi ng el se woul d do. I t was al most t oo much t o deal wi t h. Why di d ever yone want t o be l i ke her ? Why di d s he come t o t hi s st upi d house par t y i n t he f i r st pl ace? " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he l i br ar y al l t o mysel f , " t hought Di t a. Di t a t r i ed and f ai l ed t o open t he l ock on t he des k. Vi vi anna and Dar by r an i nt o each ot her i n t he gr eat hal l . " Wher e di d you get t hat c oat , Dar by?" Dar by i gnor ed her . Ki ah ent er ed t he ki t chen. Ki ah checked t he f r i dge f or snacks. Af t er some t i me, Gal e f ound her sel f i n t he f oyer . Gal e debat ed j ust l eavi ng t he house. As Vi vi anna ent er ed t he l i br ar y, she s aw Di t a maki ng t r oubl e. Di t a l ooked di r ect l y at Vi vi anna. " I had t he wei r dest dr eam, " she sai d. " Ther e was t hi s buf f al o i n my house and hi s name was Moose, and he went downst ai r s t o my basement but he peed on my st ai r s as he went down t hem. I was r eal l y mad so I went down t he st ai r s t o cat ch hi m, but I was t oo s car ed, so
I sent my f r i end down t o wake hi m up. When he came back upst ai r s he was t hi s t al l pr eppy bl onde guy . " Dar by ent er ed t he gr eat hal l . Dar by st ar ed down t he hal l , whi ch seemed l onger t han i t had any r i ght t o be. Ki ah l ooked ar ound t he br eakf ast nook. Ki ah dr ank some j ui ce, f uck i t , r i ght ? Whos e house even was t hi s? She t hought about school , and how Dar by and Di t a got bet t er gr ades t han her . They wer e al ways l aughi ng wi t h t hei r per f ect f r i ends. They wal ked ar ound t he school l i ke t hey owned t he pl ace. They wer e queen bees and t hey knew i t . They al ways got t hey want ed. Al ways. Di d t hey suspect s he t hought about t hem s o much? Gal e l ook ed ar ound t he f r ont yar d. " Wow, check out t hat t r ee, " she sai d t o no one i n par t i cul ar . She hear d a noi se f r om somewher e el se i n t he house. Af t er some t i me, Vi vi anna f ound her sel f i n t he f oyer . " Wow, check out t hat si de t abl e, " she sai d t o no one i n par t i c ul ar . Thi ngs. The house was f ul l of t hi ngs. When she got ol d enough t o have a house, she' d own not hi ng. Dar by l ook ed ar ound t he bat hr oom. Dar by r el i eved her sel f . " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he back yar d al l t o mysel f , " t hought Phi l omena. The next t hi ng she saw was t he gas gr i l l , whi ch l ef t her f eel i ng di squi et ed. Why she not i ced i n t he f i r st pl ac e was beyond her . " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he l i br ar y al l t o mysel f , " t hought Di t a. Di t a f l i pped t hr ough some books. " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he f oyer al l t o mysel f , " t hought Vi vi anna. Vi vi anna debat ed j ust l eavi ng t he house. She t hought about Ki ah. She l i ked her so damn much. She want ed t hat wat c h. Not hi ng el se woul d do. I t was al most t oo much t o deal wi t h. Why coul dn' t she be mor e l i ke her ? Why di d ever yone want t o be l i ke her ? Just t hi nki ng about i t made her want t o puke. Af t er some t i me, Dar by f ound her sel f i n t he bat hr oom. Dar by l ooked ar ound f or t ampons, f i ndi ng none.
Ki ah br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he br eakf ast nook. The next t hi ng she s aw was t he t oast er , whi ch l ef t her f eel i ng di squi et ed. Thi ngs. The house was f ul l of t hi ngs. When she got ol d enough t o have a house, s he' d own not hi ng. The f r ont y ar d was empt y. Fi nal l y, Gal e t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. Gal e r an her f i nger s t hr ough t he wel l mani cur ed gr ass, dr eami ng of bet t er days. Phi l omena br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he di ni ng r oom. She dut i f ul l y avoi ded t he si l ver war e out of some pr i mal r espect f or i t s ot her ness. Thi ngs. The house was f ul l of t hi ngs. When she got ol d enough t o have a house, she' d own not hi ng. Di t a and Dar by r an i nt o each ot her i n t he gr eat hal l . Di t a st ar ed at Dar by suspi ci ous l y. Ki ah br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he br eakf ast nook. She dut i f ul l y avoi ded t he t oast er out of some pr i mal r espect f or i t s ot her ness. Par t of her , a l ar ger par t t han she car ed t o admi t , want ed t o smash i t . Dar by wal k ed i nt o t he gr eat hal l and saw Di t a. Gr eat . " Why do you have t o be so f ar away ?" Di t a f l i nched. " because I have muscl es l i ke a boy. " Vi vi anna ent er ed t he f oyer t o f i nd Gal e st andi ng t her e. Vi vi anna seemed cr oss. " Why do you get my hopes up?" she demanded. Gal e beamed. " becaus e I l i ve i n a house wher e i t ' s common f or peopl e t o get my hopes up. " Phi l omena br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he di ni ng r oom. The di ni ng r oom t abl e caught her eye. She t hought i t was t he ugl i est t hi ng she' d ever seen. She hear d a noi se f r om somewher e el se i n t he house. She t hought about school , and how Di t a and Vi vi anna wer e such t ot al bi t ches. Why di d t hey l eave whenever she ent er ed a r oom? Wer e t hey j eal ous of her somehow? Not l i kel y. They wer e al ways l aughi ng wi t h t hei r per f ect f r i ends. They wal ked ar ound t he school l i ke t hey owned t he pl ace. Di d t hey suspect she t hought
about t hem so much? Vi vi anna l ooked ar ound t he l i vi ng r oom. Vi vi anna t ur ned on t he TV f or a whi l e. Dar by encount er ed Di t a i n t he gr eat hal l . Dar by pl ayed ner vousl y wi t h her shi r t i n a successf ul bi d t o avoi d t al ki ng t o Di t a. She t hought about school , and how Di t a and Gal e wer e such t ot al bi t ches. How coul d t hat even be possi bl e? They wal ked ar ound t he school l i ke t hey owned t he pl ace. They al ways got t hey want ed. Al ways. " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he f r ont yar d al l t o mysel f , " t hought Gal e. Gal e r an her f i nger s t hr ough t he wel l mani c ur ed gr ass, dr eami ng of bet t er days. Di t a ent er ed t he gr eat hal l t o f i nd Dar by st andi ng t her e. " why do you even ask ?" demanded Di t a. Dar by yel l ed. " because I ' m wat chi ng Tr ansf or mer s. " Di t a f ound Dar by i n t he gr eat hal l . Dar by st i f f ened and began t o r ambl e, not not i ci ng Di t a, as i f i n a f ugue st at e. " I was si t t i ng at home, back i n my Mom' s bedr oom, l yi ng i n bed. Then I hear d t he dog bar ki ng r eal l y l oud. I yel l ed at my mom t o ask why she was bar ki ng but I got no r espons e. I got up out of bed & no one el se was home. " Dar by encount er ed Di t a i n t he gr eat hal l . Dar by avoi ded Di t a. The f r ont y ar d was empt y. Fi nal l y, Gal e t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. " Wow, check out t hat l awn, " she sai d t o no one i n par t i cul ar . Thi ngs. The house was f ul l of t hi ngs. When she got ol d enough t o have a hous e, she' d own not hi ng. As Phi l omena ent er ed t he l i vi ng r oom, she saw Vi vi anna maki ng t r oubl e. Phi l omena appear ed di si nt er est ed. " why do y ou st i ck ar ound?" she i nqui r ed. Vi vi anna r ecoi l ed. " because I know he f eel s comf or t abl e ar ound me. " " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he gr eat hal l al l t o mysel f , " t hought Di t a. " Wow, check out t hat f ami l y por t r ai t , " s he sai d t o no one i n par t i cul ar . She di dn' t gi ve i t a second t hought . She t hought about school , and how Vi vi anna and Phi l omena never t al ked t o her . Why di d t hey l eave
whenever she ent er ed a r oom? How coul d t hat even be possi bl e? They wer e queen bees and t hey knew i t . They never i nvi t ed her t o par t i es; i t was a f l uke she ended up at t hi s one. They al ways got t hey want ed. Al ways. Dar by l ook ed ar ound t he bat hr oom. Dar by was af r ai d, as she al ways was, t hat a mur der er l ay i n ambush behi nd t he shower cur t ai n. Af t er some t i me, Ki ah f ound her sel f i n t he cl oset . Ki ah sur r ept i ci ousl y r ear r anged t he suppl i es. Phi l omena ent er ed t he f r ont yar d t o f i nd Gal e st andi ng t her e. " What ' s your f avor i t e par t of t he t r i p?" " wat chi ng Paci f i c Ri m wi t h t he f ami l y, t hi s. " Vi vi anna l ooked ar ound t he f oyer . Vi vi anna debat ed j ust l eavi ng t he house. Dar by br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he gr eat hal l . " Wow, check out t hat f ami l y por t r ai t , " s he sai d t o no one i n par t i cul ar . Par t of her , a l ar ger par t t han she car ed t o admi t , want ed t o smash i t . Ki ah br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he ki t chen. " Wow, check out t hat f r i dge, " she sai d t o no one i n par t i c ul ar . She was hopi ng i t woul d di st r act her , i f f or some br i ef moment , f r om her l i f e. Gal e and Phi l omena r an i nt o each ot her i n t he gar age. Gal e pl ayed ner vousl y wi t h her ski r t i n a succes sf ul bi d t o avoi d t al ki ng t o Phi l omena. She t hought about Phi l omena. She want ed t hat phone. Not hi ng el se woul d do. I t was al most t oo much t o deal wi t h. Why coul dn' t s he be mor e l i ke her ? Maybe i f t hey coul d j ust be r eal wi t h each ot her f or once. . . Why di d ev er yone want t o be l i ke her ? Just t hi nki ng about i t made her want t o puk e. Di t a br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n s i ght s of t he guest bedr oom. Di t a guessed t hat t hi s was t he most bor i ng r oom i n t he house. Af t er some t i me, Vi vi anna f ound her sel f i n t he f oyer . Vi vi anna debat ed j ust l eavi ng t he
house. Af t er some t i me, Dar by f ound her sel f i n t he l i br ar y. " Wow, c heck out t hat mahogany wor k desk , " she sai d t o no one i n par t i c ul ar . Thi ngs. The house was f ul l of t hi ngs. When she got ol d enough t o have a house, she' d own not hi ng. She t hought about Dar by. Just t hi nki ng about i t made her want t o puke. Why di d she come t o t hi s st upi d house par t y i n t he f i r st pl ace? Ki ah l ooked ar ound t he ki t chen. Ki ah checked t he f r i dge f or snacks. Af t er some t i me, Di t a f ound her sel f i n t he gr eat hal l . Di t a st ar ed down t he hal l , whi ch seemed l onger t han i t had any r i ght t o be. Dar by ent er ed t he l i br ar y. Dar by t r i ed and f ai l ed t o open t he l ock on t he desk. She t hought about Di t a. She envi ed her so damn much. Maybe i f t hey coul d j ust be r eal wi t h each ot her f or once. . . Why di d she come t o t hi s st upi d house par t y i n t he f i r st pl ace? Phi l omena f ound Ki ah i n t he ki t chen. Phi l omena appear ed cr oss. " What ' s t he best mal l i n Tr ent on
?" she demanded.
" The Rocki ngham Mal l . " As Gal e ent er ed t he f r ont yar d, she saw Vi vi anna maki ng t r oubl e. " What i s your f av or i t e St or e Downt own Newar k ?" Gal e demanded. " Amer i can Appar el . " " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he guest bedr oom al l t o mysel f , " t hought Di t a. The next t hi ng she saw was t he post er of a. . . Monet ?, whi ch l ef t her f eel i ng di squi et ed. Why she not i ced i n t he f i r st pl ace was beyond her . Vi vi anna f ound Gal e i n t he f r ont yar d. Vi vi anna eyed Gal e' s t eal shi r t wi t h envy. " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he gr eat hal l al l t o mysel f , " t hought Dar by. " Wow, check out t hat t r i bal Af ghan r ug, " she sai d t o no one i n par t i cul ar . She was hopi ng i t woul d di st r act her , i f f or
some br i ef moment , f r om her l i f e. Ki ah br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he br eakf ast nook. She not i ced t he t oast er . Ki nda t acky. Why she not i ced i n t he f i r st pl ace was beyond her . She t hought about school , and how Phi l omena and Dar by di dn' t have t o t r y har d t o be l i ked. They never i nvi t ed her t o par t i es; i t was a f l uke she ended up at t hi s one. They al ways got t hey want ed. Al ways. But l i f e was pr obabl y har d f or t hem t oo, i n i t s own way. I t al ways i s. Di d t hey suspect she t hought about t hem so much? Nobody was i n t he cl os et , so Phi l omena f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. She st ar ed at t he br i c a br ac uncompr ehendi ngl y. Par t of her , a l ar ger par t t han she car ed t o admi t , want ed t o smas h i t . Di t a br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n s i ght s of t he gr eat hal l . She st ar ed at t he t r i bal Af ghan r ug uncompr ehendi ngl y. She was hopi ng i t woul d di st r act her , i f f or some br i ef moment , f r om her l i f e. She t hought about Phi l omena. I t was al most t oo much t o deal wi t h. Why coul dn' t she be mor e l i ke her ? Maybe i f t hey coul d j ust be r eal wi t h each ot her f or once. . . Why di d ever yone want t o be l i ke her ? Why di d she come t o t hi s st upi d house par t y i n t he f i r st pl ace? Dar by l ook ed ar ound t he l i br ar y. Dar by t r i ed and f ai l ed t o open t he l ock on t he desk. She t hought about Dar by. She want ed t hat shi r t . Not hi ng el se woul d do. Why coul dn' t she be mor e l i ke her ? Why di d she come t o t hi s st upi d house par t y i n t he f i r st pl ace? The f r ont y ar d was empt y. Fi nal l y, Gal e t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. Gal e st ar t ed t o cl i mb t he t r ee, t hen t hought bet t er of i t . Nobody was i n t he l i vi ng r oom, so Vi vi anna f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. " Wow, check out t hat f l at scr een TV, " she sai d t o no one i n par t i cul ar . She di dn' t gi ve i t a second t hought . Ki ah l ooked ar ound t he br eakf ast nook. The t abl e r emi nded her of her mot her . Bar f . Why she not i ced i n t he f i r st pl ace was beyond her .
Nobody was i n t he gar age, so Gal e f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. Gal e cons i der ed get t i ng on t hat l awnmower and r i di ng i t out of t hi s pl ace. She t hought about school , and how Dar by and Phi l omena got bet t er gr ades t han her . Wer e t hey j eal ous of her somehow? Not l i kel y. They wer e queen bees and t hey knew i t . They al ways got t hey want ed. Al ways. Di d t hey suspect s he t hought about t hem s o much? Dar by f ound Di t a i n t he gr eat hal l . Dar by l ooked angr y. " what ' s t he best f or you?" s he asked. " my mom, " sai d Di t a. Di t a l ooked ar ound t he guest bedr oom. The next t hi ng she saw was t he set of cur t ai ns, whi ch l ef t her f eel i ng di squi et ed. Par t of her , a l ar ger par t t han she car ed t o admi t , want ed t o smash i t . Vi vi anna ent er ed t he f r ont yar d. Vi vi anna st ar t ed t o cl i mb t he t r ee, t hen t hought bet t er of i t . She t hought about Phi l omena. Phi l omena and t hat cr i mson phone of her s. I t was al most t oo much t o deal wi t h. Dar by ent er ed t he gr eat hal l . She st ar ed at t he f ami l y por t r ai t uncompr ehendi ngl y. She di dn' t gi ve i t a second t hought . Gal e l ook ed ar ound t he gar age. Gal e t r i ed t o j i mmy t he l ock on t he car and ended up set t i ng of f t he al ar m. Whoops. The gr eat hal l was empt y. Fi nal l y, Di t a t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. Di t a st ar ed down t he hal l , whi ch seemed l onger t han i t had any r i ght t o be. The f r ont y ar d was empt y. Fi nal l y, Vi vi anna t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. Vi vi anna r an her f i nger s t hr ough t he wel l mani cur ed gr ass, dr eami ng of bet t er days. She t hought about school , and how Phi l omena and Di t a di dn' t have t o t r y har d t o be l i ked. How coul d t hat even be possi bl e? They wer e al ways l aughi ng wi t h t hei r per f ect f r i ends. They never i nvi t ed her t o par t i es; i t was a f l uke she ended up at t hi s one. They al ways got t hey want ed. Al ways. Di d t hey suspect she t hought about t hem so much?
Dar by br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he mast er bedr oom. The t eak dr esser caught her eye. She t hought i t was t he ugl i est t hi ng she' d ever seen. Why she not i ced i n t he f i r st pl ace was beyond her . Ki ah f ound Phi l omena i n t he br eakf ast nook. Phi l omena l ooked di r ec t l y at Ki ah. " I had t he wei r des t dr eam, " she sai d. " I was i n a t ape pl ayer and somehow I was cont r ol l i ng when i t pl ayed and when i t di dn' t . Somet hi ng mal f unct i oned and I was hel d r esponsi bl e f or endi ng t he musi c so I went t o a pl ug and had t o st eal some of i t s el ect r i ci t y t o f i x t he musi c. " The br eak f ast nook was empt y. Fi nal l y, Phi l omena t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. Phi l omena dr ank some j ui ce, f uck i t , r i ght ? Whose house even was t hi s? " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he ki t chen al l t o mysel f , " t hought Ki ah. Ki ah r i f l ed t hr ough t he cabi net s f or al cohol . She t hought about Ki ah. She want ed t hat pur se. Not hi ng el se woul d do. Why coul dn' t s he be mor e l i ke her ? Nobody r eal l y knew how she f el t . Why di d she come t o t hi s st upi d house par t y i n t he f i r st pl ac e? Di t a wal ked i nt o t he gr eat hal l and saw Dar by. Gr eat . " What ' s t he best way t o ask a quest i on f or a f r i end?" Di t a demanded. " Ti ckl e. " Af t er some t i me, Phi l omena f ound her sel f i n t he ki t chen. She st ar ed at t he f r i dge uncompr ehendi ngl y. Why she not i ced i n t he f i r st pl ace was beyond her . She t hought about Di t a. Di t a and t hat i ncr edi bl e sweat er of her s. She envi ed her so damn much. She want ed t hat sweat er . Not hi ng el se woul d do. Why coul dn' t she be mor e l i ke her ? Why di d ever yone want t o be l i ke her ? " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he bat hr oom al l t o mysel f , " t hought Di t a. The t oi l et r emi nded her of her mot her . Bar f . She di dn' t gi ve i t a second t hought . She t hought about school , and how Ki ah and Dar by had mor e money t han she di d. Why di d t hey l eave whenever she ent er ed a r oom? How coul d t hat even be possi bl e? Di d t hey secr et l y l i ke her af t er al l ? I t di dn' t mat t er anyway. They wer e al ways l aughi ng wi t h t hei r per f ect f r i ends. They never i nvi t ed her t o par t i es; i t was a f l uke she ended up at t hi s one. They al ways got t hey want ed. Al ways. But
l i f e was pr obabl y har d f or t hem t oo, i n i t s own way. I t al ways i s. The gar age hel d t wo i t ems of i nt er est t o Vi vi anna: t he BMW and Gal e. Vi vi anna pl ayed ner vousl y wi t h her sweat er i n a successf ul bi d t o avoi d t al ki ng t o Gal e. Nobody was i n t he cl os et , so Phi l omena f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. She st ar ed at t he br i c a br ac uncompr ehendi ngl y. She hear d a noi se f r om somewher e el se i n t he house. Di t a f ound Dar by i n t he bat hr oom. Di t a avoi ded Dar by. Af t er some t i me, Vi vi anna f ound her sel f i n t he gar age. The BMW r emi nded her of her mot her . Bar f . She hear d a noi se f r om somewher e el se i n t he house. Nobody was i n t he f r ont yar d, so Gal e f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. The l awn r emi nded her of her mot her . Bar f . She hear d a noi se f r om s omewher e el se i n t he house. She t hought about Ki ah. Why di d ever yone want t o be l i ke her ? Vi vi anna br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he back yar d. The next t hi ng she saw was t he l awn f ur ni t ur e, whi ch l ef t her f eel i ng di squi et ed. She hear d a noi se f r om somewher e el se i n t he house. Ki ah ent er ed t he di ni ng r oom. The di ni ng r oom t abl e r emi nded her of her mot her . Bar f . She wi shed t he booze woul d ki ck i n. Af t er some t i me, Gal e f ound her sel f i n t he f r ont yar d. The l awn caught her eye. She t hought i t was t he ugl i est t hi ng she' d ever seen. Par t of her , a l ar ger par t t han she car ed t o admi t , want ed t o smash i t . Phi l omena ent er ed t he cl oset . The br i c a br ac caught her eye. She t hought i t was t he ugl i est t hi ng she' d ever seen. She was hopi ng i t woul d di st r act her , i f f or some br i ef moment , f r om her l i f e. Di t a l ooked ar ound t he l i br ar y. Di t a t r i ed and f ai l ed t o open t he l ock on t he desk. The gr eat hal l was empt y. Fi nal l y, Dar by t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. She not i ced
t he f ami l y por t r ai t . Ki nda t acky. Thi ngs. The house was f ul l of t hi ngs. When she got ol d enough t o have a house, she' d own not hi ng. She t hought about school , and how Phi l omena and Vi vi anna wer e such t ot al bi t ches. How coul d t hat even be possi bl e? Di d t hey secr et l y l i ke her af t er al l ? I t di dn' t mat t er anyway. They wer e queen bees and t hey knew i t . They never i nvi t ed her t o par t i es; i t was a f l uke she ended up at t hi s one. Di d t hey suspect she t hought about t hem so much? Gal e br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he f oyer . She dut i f ul l y avoi ded t he chandel i er out of some pr i mal r espect f or i t s ot her ness. Thi ngs. The house was f ul l of t hi ngs. When she got ol d enough t o have a hous e, she' d own not hi ng. Af t er some t i me, Phi l omena f ound her sel f i n t he ki t chen. Phi l omena r i f l ed t hr ough t he cabi net s f or al cohol . The gr eat hal l was empt y. Fi nal l y, Di t a t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. Di t a st ar ed down t he hal l , whi ch seemed l onger t han i t had any r i ght t o be. Vi vi anna l ooked ar ound t he gar age. The r i di ng l awnmower caught her eye. She t hought i t was t he ugl i est t hi ng she' d ever seen. She wi shed t he booze woul d ki ck i n. " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he mast er bedr oom al l t o mysel f , " t hought Dar by. She st ar ed at t he ki ng si zed bed uncompr ehendi ngl y . She wi shed t he booze woul d ki ck i n. Ki ah l ooked ar ound t he di ni ng r oom. She not i ced t he di ni ng r oom t abl e. Ki nda t acky. Par t of her , a l ar ger par t t han she car ed t o admi t , want ed t o smash i t . Gal e l ook ed ar ound t he f oyer . Gal e debat ed j ust l eavi ng t he house. Phi l omena ent er ed t he cl oset . Phi l omena sur r ept i ci ousl y r ear r anged t he suppl i es. She t hought about Gal e. She l i ked her so damn much. She want ed t hat shi r t . Not hi ng el se woul d do. Maybe i f t hey coul d j ust be r eal wi t h each ot her f or once. . . Why di d ever yone want t o be l i ke her ? Why di d she c ome t o t hi s st upi d house par t y i n t he f i r st pl ace? Di t a br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n s i ght s of t he guest bedr oom. " Wow, check out t hat set of cur t ai ns, " she sai d t o no one i n par t i cul ar . She was hopi ng i t woul d di st r act her , i f f or some
br i ef moment , f r om her l i f e. " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he gar age al l t o mysel f , " t hought Vi vi anna. She dut i f ul l y avoi ded t he r i di ng l awnmower out of some pr i mal r espect f or i t s ot her ness. She wi shed t he booze woul d ki ck i n. " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he l i vi ng r oom al l t o mysel f , " t hought Ki ah. The f l at scr een TV r emi nded her of her mot her . Bar f . Why she not i ced i n t he f i r st pl ace was beyond her . Nobody was i n t he f oyer , so Gal e f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. She not i ced t he si de t abl e. Ki nda t acky. She wi shed t he booze woul d ki c k i n. Phi l omena br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he ki t chen. Phi l omena checked t he f r i dge f or snacks . Di t a ent er ed t he gr eat hal l . She dut i f ul l y avoi ded t he f ami l y por t r ai t out of some pr i mal r espect f or i t s ot her ness. She hear d a noi se f r om somewher e el se i n t he house. " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he gar age al l t o mysel f , " t hought Vi vi anna. Vi vi anna t r i ed t o j i mmy t he l ock on t he car and ended up set t i ng of f t he al ar m. Whoops. Nobody was i n t he f oyer , so Ki ah f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. She st ar ed at t he chandel i er uncompr ehendi ngl y . She hear d a noi se f r om somewher e el se i n t he house. Af t er some t i me, Phi l omena f ound her sel f i n t he ki t chen. The next t hi ng she saw was t he kni f e set , whi ch l ef t her f eel i ng di squi et ed. She was hopi ng i t woul d di st r act her , i f f or some br i ef moment , f r om her l i f e. Di t a ent er ed t he bat hr oom. Di t a l ooked ar ound f or t ampons, f i ndi ng none. She t hought about Vi vi anna. Why coul dn' t she be mor e l i ke her ? Why di d ever yone want t o be l i ke her ? " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he mast er bedr oom al l t o mysel f , " t hought Dar by. The t eak dr ess er caught her eye. She t hought i t was t he ugl i est t hi ng she' d ever seen. She was hopi ng i t woul d di s t r act her , i f f or some br i ef moment , f r om her l i f e. Ki ah l ooked ar ound t he l i vi ng r oom. The f l at scr een TV caught her eye. She t hought i t was
t he ugl i es t t hi ng she' d ever seen. She wi shed t he booze woul d ki ck i n. Di t a ent er ed t he gr eat hal l . Dar by was t her e, as i f wai t i ng. Gal e wal k ed i nt o t he bat hr oom and saw Vi vi anna. Gr eat . " why do you keep doi ng i t t o me?" " because I ' m not doi ng t hem) ) , " sai d Vi vi anna. The ki t chen was empt y. Fi nal l y, Phi l omena t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. Phi l omena chec ked t he f r i dge f or snacks. Di t a l ooked ar ound t he guest bedr oom. She dut i f ul l y avoi ded t he bed out of some pr i mal r espect f or i t s ot her ness. Thi ngs. The house was f ul l of t hi ngs. When she got ol d enough t o have a house, she' d own not hi ng. As Gal e ent er ed t he bat hr oom, she saw Vi vi anna maki ng t r oubl e. Gal e appear ed cr oss. " Why do y ou al ways l ook sad dur i ng l unch?" she asked. Vi vi anna squi r med. " because I know, i n t he end, she' l l al ways be t her e f or me. " As Gal e ent er ed t he gr eat hal l , she saw Di t a maki ng t r oubl e. Gal e eyed Di t a' s i ncr edi bl e sweat er wi t h envy. The di ni ng r oom hel d t wo i t ems of i nt er est t o Ki ah: t he di ni ng r oom t abl e and Phi l omena. " Why woul d you Ret weet t hem hot wi ngs on my TL?" Ki ah asked. Phi l omena squi r med. " because I r eal l y j ust want t o r et weet ever yt hi ng you say somet i mes. " Vi vi anna and Di t a r an i nt o each ot her i n t he gr eat hal l . " Why woul d you sni t ch l i ke t hat and poss i bl y s cr ew up somet hi ng t hat has f i nal l y been wor ki ng out af t er t he l ongest t i me?" Di t a yel l ed. " because I asked her t o get me somet hi ng ok . " Phi l omena l ooked ar ound t he ki t chen. The kni f e set caught her eye. She t hought i t was t he ugl i est t hi ng she' d ever seen. She hear d a noi se f r om somewher e el se i n t he hous e.
Di t a l ooked ar ound t he gr eat hal l . Di t a t ook of f her shoes, got a r unni ng st ar t , a sl i d i n her socks down t he sl i ck har dwood f l oor s. Phi l omena br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he ki t chen. The f r i dge r emi nded her of her mot her . Bar f . She hear d a noi se f r om somewher e el se i n t he house. She t hought about Gal e. I t was al most t oo much t o deal wi t h. Maybe i f t hey coul d j ust be r eal wi t h eac h ot her f or once. . . Nobody r eal l y knew how she f el t . Just t hi nki ng about i t made her want t o puke. Gal e br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he gr eat hal l . The t r i bal Af ghan r ug r emi nded her of her mot her . Bar f . She di dn' t gi ve i t a second t hought . Nobody was i n t he back yar d, so Phi l omena f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. The l awn f ur ni t ur e r emi nded her of her mot her . Bar f . Par t of her , a l ar ger par t t han she car ed t o admi t , want ed t o smas h i t . Vi vi anna br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he l i br ar y. Vi vi anna f l i pped t hr ough some books. Dar by br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he mast er bedr oom. The ki ng si zed bed caught her eye. She t hought i t was t he ugl i est t hi ng she' d ever seen. Par t of her , a l ar ger par t t han s he car ed t o admi t , want ed t o smash i t . Nobody was i n t he l i vi ng r oom, so Ki ah f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. Ki ah t ur ned on t he TV f or a whi l e. The l i br ar y hel d t wo i t ems of i nt er est t o Gal e: t he bookshel f and Vi vi anna. Gal e seemed angr y. " Why do you guys not have school t omor r ow?" she asked. " because i know when i wake up t omor r ow i wont be abl e t o move my ar ms at al l , " sai d Vi vi anna. " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he gar age al l t o mysel f , " t hought Phi l omena. The BMW r emi nded her of her mot her . Bar f . She was hopi ng i t woul d di st r act her , i f f or some br i ef moment , f r om her l i f e.
Vi vi anna ent er ed t he f oyer t o f i nd Gal e st andi ng t her e. " What ' s t he best Chi nese r est aur ant i n bost on?" Vi vi anna asked. " Sunny pal ace, " sai d Gal e. Gal e encount er ed Ki ah i n t he f oyer . " Why do you have t o be so compl i cat ed?" demanded Gal e. Ki ah r ecoi l ed. " because I ' ve never wi t nessed nor been i nvol ved i n pop cul t ur e so i t ' s much compl i cat ed j oke my f r i end. " Nobody was i n t he l i br ar y, so Ki ah f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. Ki ah f l i pped t hr ough some books. Af t er some t i me, Gal e f ound her sel f i n t he f oyer . Gal e debat ed j ust l eavi ng t he house. Af t er some t i me, Phi l omena f ound her sel f i n t he di ni ng r oom. The si l ver war e r emi nded her of her mot her . Bar f . She hear d a noi se f r om somewher e el se i n t he house. Dar by ent er ed t he mast er bedr oom t o f i nd Di t a st andi ng t her e. Dar by st ar ed at Di t a suspi ci ous l y. Nobody was i n t he l i br ar y, so Ki ah f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. Ki ah f l i pped t hr ough some books. Di t a l ooked ar ound t he mast er bedr oom. The ki ng si zed bed r emi nded her of her mot her . Bar f . She wi shed t he booze woul d ki ck i n. She t hought about Dar by. Dar by and t hat ost ent at i ous shi r t of her s. Nobody r eal l y knew how she f el t . Why di d ever yone want t o be l i ke her ? Why di d she c ome t o t hi s st upi d house par t y i n t he f i r st pl ace? Af t er some t i me, Ki ah f ound her sel f i n t he l i br ar y. Ki ah f l i pped t hr ough some books . Gal e ent er ed t he gar age. Gal e t r i ed t o j i mmy t he l ock on t he car and ended up set t i ng of f t he al ar m. Whoops. Phi l omena ent er ed t he back yar d t o f i nd Gal e st andi ng t her e. Phi l omena pl ayed ner vousl y
wi t h her s c ar f i n a succ essf ul bi d t o avoi d t al ki ng t o Gal e. She t hought about school , and how Gal e and Dar by t hought t hey wer e so much bet t er t han ever yone el se. Di d t hey secr et l y l i ke her af t er al l ? I t di dn' t mat t er anyway. They wer e al ways l aughi ng wi t h t hei r per f ect f r i ends. They wal ked ar ound t he school l i ke t hey owned t he pl ace. They al ways got t hey want ed. Al ways. Di d t hey sus pect she t hought about t hem so much? Vi vi anna f ound Ki ah i n t he f oyer . " Dr eams, " Vi vi anna sai d. " Tel l me about your dr eams. " Ki ah al most sai d not hi ng, but t hought bet t er of i t . " I was at My school but i t di dn' t l ook l i ke My school . St uf f happened t hat I can' t r emember . The me and a f ew ot her f r i ends went t o t he cl assr oom next t o wher e wer e sl eepi ng. I t l ooked l i ke cl assr oom 2 at school , but had mor e st uf f i n i t . My f r i end A. sai d t hat t equi l a t ast es good wi t h t or t i l l as. I di dn' t f i nd t hi s at al l st r ange. So we go i nt o t he cl assr oom and ask i f t her e ar e any t or t i l l as. They say no but t hat t her e i s pi t a br ead, so we go i n t her e and ever yone el se di sappear s. We l ook under t he si nk, whi ch i sn' t i n cl assr oom 2 r eal l y, and under neat h ar e bi g j ugs ( t hose squar e ki nd t hat cl eani ng st uf f comes i n) and t hey ar e ki nd of see t hr ough and t her e i s yel l ow whi t i sh l i qui d i nsi de. On t hem t hey say somet hi ng I don' t r emember . Anyway we pour t he t equi l a i nt o mar gar i t a gl asses and eat i t wi t h pi t a br ead. Some st uf f happens. ( I t hi nk t hat i t has got t en l at er but I ' m not sur e. ) An el der l y bl ack man comes i n and says he has t o check us. We i mmedi at el y t hi nk he' s t al ki ng about us dr i nki ng t equi l a. I ' m t he t ype who woul d br eak down and t el l ever yt hi ng we wer e doi ng. I l ook, about t o l augh at t hi s bl ac k gi r l t o my r i ght ( A. ' s on my l ef t ) . She put her l ong dar k r ed nai l s i n her mout h ( a nor mal gest ur e as i f bi t i ng her nai l s ) , and l eans her head down and t el l s me no ( don' t t el l ) . The man goes and checks behi nd a mi r r or i nsi de a mi r r or l i ke t he i l l ust r at i on. Behi nd, t her e ar e some phot os. I nsi de wer e t he phot os t hat showed t he snake t hat bi t one of t he t eacher s. Thi s was a bi g myst er y, sol ved. Then we went away. I t hi nk l at er t her e was a bi g commot i on wi t h t he t eacher who had been bi t . " Ki ah and Vi vi anna r an i nt o each ot her i n t he f oyer . Ki ah avoi ded Vi vi anna. Gal e wal k ed i nt o t he back yar d and saw Phi l omena. Gr eat . Gal e avoi ded Phi l omena. Di t a and Dar by r an i nt o each ot her i n t he mast er bat hr oom. Di t a seemed concer ned. " What ' s t he best way t o ask a quest i on f or a f r i end?" she as ked.
Dar by beamed. " Li st eni n t o The Weeknd whi l e doi n homewor k. " Phi l omena br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he back yar d. She dut i f ul l y avoi ded t he l awn f ur ni t ur e out of some pr i mal r espect f or i t s ot her ness. Thi ngs. The house was f ul l of t hi ngs. When she got ol d enough t o have a house, she' d own not hi ng. Gal e l ook ed ar ound t he ki t chen. Gal e r i f l ed t hr ough t he cabi net s f or al cohol . The ki t chen was empt y. Fi nal l y, Phi l omena t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. The kni f e set caught her eye. She t hought i t was t he ugl i est t hi ng she' d ever seen. She wi shed t he booze woul d ki ck i n. Ki ah l ooked ar ound t he gar age. The BMW caught her eye. She t hought i t was t he ugl i est t hi ng she' d ever seen. She hear d a noi se f r om somewher e el se i n t he house. Gal e br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he cl oset . Gal e sur r ept i ci ousl y r ear r anged t he suppl i es. " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he mast er bedr oom al l t o mysel f , " t hought Di t a. She not i ced t he ki ng si zed bed. Ki nda t acky. Thi ngs. The house was f ul l of t hi ngs. When she got ol d enough t o have a house, she' d own not hi ng. She t hought about Di t a. She l oved her so damn much. She want ed t hat sweat er . Not hi ng el se woul d do. Why coul dn' t she be mor e l i ke her ? Nobody r eal l y knew how she f el t . The l i br ar y was empt y. Fi nal l y, Vi vi anna t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. The mahogany wor k desk caught her eye. She t hought i t was t he ugl i est t hi ng she' d ever seen. Par t of her , a l ar ger par t t han she car ed t o admi t , want ed t o smash i t . " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he cl oset al l t o mysel f , " t hought Gal e. Gal e l ooked f or some paper t owel s. She t hought about Gal e. She l oved her so damn much. Nobody r eal l y knew how s he f el t . Vi vi anna l ooked ar ound t he gr eat hal l . Vi vi anna t ook of f her shoes, got a r unni ng st ar t , a sl i d i n her socks down t he sl i ck har dwood f l oor s. Dar by ent er ed t he mast er bat hr oom. Di t a was t her e, as i f wai t i ng. " Wher e di d you get t hat
phone, Di t a?" Di t a i gnor ed her . Ki ah br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he ki t chen. She st ar ed at t he kni f e set uncompr ehendi ngl y. She was hopi ng i t woul d di st r act her , i f f or some br i ef moment , f r om her l i f e. She t hought about Phi l omena. Maybe i f t hey coul d j ust be r eal wi t h each ot her f or once. . . Nobody r eal l y knew how she f el t . Why di d ever yone want t o be l i ke her ? Jus t t hi nk i ng about i t made her want t o puke. Why di d she come t o t hi s st upi d house par t y i n t he f i r st pl ace? The cl oset was empt y. Fi nal l y, Gal e t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. Gal e l ooked f or some paper t owel s. She t hought about Gal e. She envi ed her so damn much. Nobody r eal l y knew how she f el t . Why di d ever yone want t o be l i ke her ? Phi l omena ent er ed t he gar age. Phi l omena consi der ed get t i ng on t hat l awnmower and r i di ng i t out of t hi s pl ace. Vi vi anna l ooked ar ound t he gr eat hal l . Vi vi anna st ar ed down t he hal l , whi ch seemed l onger t han i t had any r i ght t o be. Ki ah l ooked ar ound t he ki t chen. " Wow, check out t hat kni f e set , " she sai d t o no one i n par t i cul ar . Thi ngs. The house was f ul l of t hi ngs. When she got ol d enough t o have a house, she' d own not hi ng. The gr eat hal l was empt y. Fi nal l y, Vi vi anna t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. Vi vi anna st ar ed down t he hal l , whi ch seemed l onger t han i t had any r i ght t o be. She t hought about school , and how Dar by and Ki ah never t al ked t o her . They wal ked ar ound t he school l i ke t hey owned t he pl ace. They al way s got t hey want ed. Al way s. But l i f e was pr obabl y har d f or t hem t oo, i n i t s own way. I t al ways i s. Gal e encount er ed Ki ah i n t he cl oset . " What i s t he best Lana song i n your opi ni on?" " Summer t i me sadness . " The back y ar d was empt y. Fi nal l y, Phi l omena t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. The next t hi ng she saw was t he l awn f ur ni t ur e, whi ch l ef t her f eel i ng di squi et ed. She wi shed t he
booze woul d ki ck i n. Af t er some t i me, Di t a f ound her sel f i n t he gr eat hal l . She dut i f ul l y avoi ded t he f ami l y por t r ai t out of some pr i mal r espect f or i t s ot her ness. Par t of her , a l ar ger par t t han she car ed t o admi t , want ed t o smas h i t . " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he guest bedr oom al l t o mysel f , " t hought Vi vi anna. " Wow, check out t hat bed, " she s ai d t o no one i n par t i cul ar . Thi ngs. The house was f ul l of t hi ngs. When she got ol d enough t o have a house, she' d own not hi ng. She t hought about school , and how Gal e and Dar by di dn' t have t o t r y har d t o be l i ked. They wal ked ar ound t he school l i ke t hey owned t he pl ace. They al ways got t hey want ed. Al ways. But l i f e was pr obabl y har d f or t hem t oo, i n i t s own way. I t al ways i s. Gal e br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he ki t chen. She not i ced t he kni f e set . Ki nda t acky . Par t of her , a l ar ger par t t han she car ed t o admi t , want ed t o smash i t . Phi l omena ent er ed t he back yar d. Gal e was t her e, as i f wai t i ng. " Wher e di d you get t hat ski r t , Gal e?" Gal e i gnor ed her . Vi vi anna ent er ed t he gr eat hal l . She not i ced t he t r i bal Af ghan r ug. Ki nda t acky. Par t of her , a l ar ger par t t han she c ar ed t o admi t , want ed t o smash i t . She t hought about school , and how Dar by and Ki ah got bet t er gr ades t han her . Why di d t hey l eave whenever she ent er ed a r oom? How coul d t hat even be possi bl e? Di d t hey secr et l y l i ke her af t er al l ? I t di dn' t mat t er anyway. They wer e al ways l aughi ng wi t h t hei r per f ect f r i ends. They wer e queen bees and t hey knew i t . But l i f e was pr obabl y har d f or t hem t oo, i n i t s own way. I t al ways i s. Di d t hey suspect she t hought about t hem so much? Af t er some t i me, Dar by f ound her sel f i n t he mast er bat hr oom. She not i ced t he bl onde onyx bat ht ub. Ki nda t acky. She hear d a noi se f r om somewher e el se i n t he house. " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he cl oset al l t o mysel f , " t hought Ki ah. Ki ah l ooked f or some paper t owel s. She t hought about school , and how Di t a and Gal e t hought t hey wer e so much bet t er t han ever yone el se. Wer e t hey j eal ous of her somehow? Not l i kel y. Di d t hey secr et l y l i ke her af t er al l ? I t di dn' t mat t er anyway. They wal ked ar ound t he s chool l i ke t hey owned t he pl ace.
They never i nvi t ed her t o par t i es; i t was a f l uke she ended up at t hi s one. Di d t hey suspect she t hought about t hem so much? Phi l omena l ooked ar ound t he bac k yar d. She st ar ed at t he l awn f ur ni t ur e uncompr ehendi ngl y. She di dn' t gi v e i t a second t hought . She t hought about Ki ah. She l i ked her so damn much. Why coul dn' t she be mor e l i ke her ? Why di d she come t o t hi s st upi d house par t y i n t he f i r st pl ace? Vi vi anna ent er ed t he l i br ar y. The next t hi ng she saw was t he mahogany wor k desk, whi ch l ef t her f eel i ng di squi et ed. She hear d a noi se f r om somewher e el se i n t he house. Ki ah l ooked ar ound t he ki t chen. Ki ah checked t he f r i dge f or snacks. " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he gar age al l t o mysel f , " t hought Phi l omena. She not i ced t he r i di ng l awnmower . Ki nda t acky. Par t of her , a l ar ger par t t han she car ed t o admi t , want ed t o smash i t . Di t a br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n s i ght s of t he gr eat hal l . Di t a st ar ed down t he hal l , whi ch seemed l onger t han i t had any r i ght t o be. She t hought about school , and how Phi l omena and Di t a di dn' t have t o t r y har d t o be l i ked. They wer e al ways l aughi ng wi t h t hei r per f ect f r i ends. They never i nvi t ed her t o par t i es; i t was a f l uke she ended up at t hi s one. But l i f e was pr obabl y har d f or t hem t oo, i n i t s own way. I t al ways i s. Vi vi anna br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he f oyer . The si de t abl e r emi nded her of her mot her . Bar f . She hear d a noi se f r om somewher e el se i n t he house. Phi l omena br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he back yar d. The l awn f ur ni t ur e r emi nded her of her mot her . Bar f . Why she not i ced i n t he f i r st pl ace was beyond her . She t hought about Di t a. I t was al most t oo much t o deal wi t h. Why coul dn' t she be mor e l i ke her ? Why di d ev er yone want t o be l i ke her ? Why di d she come t o t hi s st upi d house par t y i n t he f i r st pl ace? Nobody was i n t he guest bedr oom, so Di t a f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. The next t hi ng she saw was t he bed, whi ch l ef t her f eel i ng di squi et ed. She was hopi ng i t woul d
di st r act her , i f f or some br i ef moment , f r om her l i f e. Vi vi anna br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he f oyer . The si de t abl e caught her eye. She t hought i t was t he ugl i est t hi ng she' d ever seen. She was hopi ng i t woul d di st r act her , i f f or some br i ef moment , f r om her l i f e. She t hought about school , and how Di t a and Vi vi anna di dn' t hav e t o t r y har d t o be l i ked. Di d t hey secr et l y l i ke her af t er al l ? I t di dn' t mat t er anyway. They wal ked ar ound t he school l i ke t hey owned t he pl ace. They wer e queen bees and t hey knew i t . They never i nvi t ed her t o par t i es; i t was a f l uke she ended up at t hi s one. But l i f e was pr obabl y har d f or t hem t oo, i n i t s own way. I t al ways i s. Di d t hey suspect she t hought about t hem so much? Gal e and Ki ah r an i nt o each ot her i n t he di ni ng r oom. " Dr eams, " Gal e sai d. " Tel l me about your dr eams. " Ki ah al most sai d not hi ng, but t hought bet t er of i t . " For some r eason t hi s gi r l and her f ami l y was l i vi ng i n our house wi t h us. I hat ed her and we f ought al l t he t i me. We wer e scr eami ng at each ot her and s he came up wi t h a pai r of sci ssor s and cut a huge chunk of my hai r r i ght up t o t he scal p. I was cr yi ng but I coul dn' t do anyt hi ng about i t . " Ki ah f ound Gal e i n t he di ni ng r oom. " Why do you t ake phot os wi t h your ass on t he si nk ?" Ki ah demanded. " because I can' t access my phot os so I can save t hem i n my comput er >, " sai d Gal e. Af t er some t i me, Di t a f ound her sel f i n t he guest bedr oom. She dut i f ul l y avoi ded t he post er of a. . . Monet ? out of some pr i mal r espect f or i t s ot her ness. She wi shed t he booze woul d ki ck i n. She t hought about Di t a. Di t a and t hat i ncr edi bl e phone of her s. Why coul dn' t she be mor e l i ke her ? Maybe i f t hey coul d j ust be r eal wi t h each ot her f or once. . . Dar by ent er ed t he gr eat hal l . Dar by st ar ed down t he hal l , whi ch seemed l onger t han i t had any r i ght t o be. Ki ah ent er ed t he ki t chen t o f i nd Phi l omena st andi ng t her e. " What ' s t he best way t o get gum out of hai r ?" " Wai t i ng f or someone el se t o make you happy. "
Vi vi anna l ooked ar ound t he f oyer . The chandel i er caught her eye. She t hought i t was t he ugl i est t hi ng she' d ever seen. Why she not i ced i n t he f i r st pl ace was beyond her . She t hought about school , and how Gal e and Phi l omena got bet t er gr ades t han her . Wer e t hey j eal ous of her somehow? Not l i kel y. How coul d t hat even be possi bl e? They wer e al ways l aughi ng wi t h t hei r per f ect f r i ends. They wal ked ar ound t he school l i ke t hey owned t he pl ace. They never i nvi t ed her t o par t i es; i t was a f l uke she ended up at t hi s one. But l i f e was pr obabl y har d f or t hem t oo, i n i t s own way. I t al ways i s. Di d t hey suspect she t hought about t hem so much? Dar by f ound Di t a i n t he gr eat hal l . Dar by l ooked concer ned. " What ' s t he best way t o get gum out of hai r ?" she asked. " Smi l i ng. " Di t a ent er ed t he gr eat hal l t o f i nd Dar by st andi ng t her e. " WHY WOULD YOU QUOTE A TWEET WHEN YOU HAVE NOTHI NG TO SAY WHY NOT JUST RT?" i nqui r ed Di t a. " because i have not hi ng el se t o do, " sai d Dar by. Nobody was i n t he gr eat hal l , so Di t a f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. She dut i f ul l y avoi ded t he f ami l y por t r ai t out of some pr i mal r espect f or i t s ot her ness. She wi shed t he booze woul d ki ck i n. Nobody was i n t he l i br ar y, so Vi vi anna f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. Vi vi anna t r i ed and f ai l ed t o open t he l ock on t he desk. The di ni ng r oom was empt y. Fi nal l y, Phi l omena t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. She dut i f ul l y avoi ded t he di ni ng r oom t abl e out of some pr i mal r espect f or i t s ot her ness . She was hopi ng i t woul d di s t r act her , i f f or some br i ef moment , f r om her l i f e. She t hought about school , and how Vi vi anna and Gal e never t al ked t o her . How coul d t hat even be possi bl e? They wer e al ways l aughi ng wi t h t hei r per f ect f r i ends. They wal ked ar ound t he school l i ke t hey owned t he pl ace. They wer e queen bees and t hey knew i t . They never i nvi t ed her t o par t i es; i t was a f l uke she ended up at t hi s one. But l i f e was pr obabl y har d f or t hem t oo, i n
i t s own way. I t al ways i s. Di t a ent er ed t he guest bedr oom. The post er of a. . . Monet ? r emi nded her of her mot her . Bar f . She was hopi ng i t woul d di st r act her , i f f or some br i ef moment , f r om her l i f e. Af t er some t i me, Vi vi anna f ound her sel f i n t he l i br ar y. Vi vi anna f l i pped t hr ough some books. Dar by ent er ed t he gr eat hal l t o f i nd Ki ah st andi ng t her e. Dar by seemed angr y. " Why woul d you ever ?" she asked. Ki ah yel l ed. " because I coul d say we st ar t ed dat i ng 11/ 12/ 13 and t hat won' t ever happen agai n. " Nobody was i n t he di ni ng r oom, so Phi l omena f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. She dut i f ul l y avoi ded t he si l ver war e out of some pr i mal r espect f or i t s ot her ness. Thi ngs. The house was f ul l of t hi ngs. When she got ol d enough t o have a house, she' d own not hi ng. The f oyer was empt y. Fi nal l y, Vi vi anna t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. Vi vi anna debat ed j ust l eavi ng t he house. Ki ah encount er ed Dar by i n t he bat hr oom. " What ' s your f avour i t e mont h?" Ki ah demanded. " November . " Vi vi anna ent er ed t he f oyer . She st ar ed at t he si de t abl e uncompr ehendi ngl y. Par t of her , a l ar ger par t t han she car ed t o admi t , want ed t o smash i t . She t hought about school , and how Ki ah and Dar by t hought t hey wer e so much bet t er t han ever yone el se. Wer e t hey j eal ous of her somehow? Not l i kel y. They wal ked ar ound t he school l i ke t hey owned t he pl ac e. They never i nvi t ed her t o par t i es; i t was a f l uke she ended up at t hi s one. Dar by wal k ed i nt o t he bat hr oom and saw Di t a. Gr eat . Dar by st ar ed at Di t a suspi ci ousl y. Ki ah l ooked ar ound t he gr eat hal l . Ki ah st ar ed down t he hal l , whi ch seemed l onger t han i t had any r i ght t o be.
Di t a f ound Dar by i n t he gr eat hal l . Di t a avoi ded Dar by. Vi vi anna br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he f oyer . She dut i f ul l y avoi ded t he si de t abl e out of some pr i mal r espect f or i t s ot her ness. Par t of her , a l ar ger par t t han she car ed t o admi t , want ed t o smash i t . She t hought about Phi l omena. She l oved her so damn much. Nobody r eal l y knew how she f el t . Why di d ever yone want t o be l i ke her ? Just t hi nk i ng about i t made her want t o puke. Why di d she come t o t hi s st upi d house par t y i n t he f i r st pl ace? Dar by f ound Di t a i n t he gr eat hal l . Dar by avoi ded Di t a. She t hought about Di t a. Maybe i f t hey coul d j ust be r eal wi t h each ot her f or once. . . Why di d ever yone want t o be l i ke her ? Just t hi nki ng about i t made her want t o puke. Why di d she come t o t hi s st upi d house par t y i n t he f i r st pl ace? The mast er bedr oom was empt y. Fi nal l y, Ki ah t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. The t eak dr ess er caught her eye. She t hought i t was t he ugl i est t hi ng she' d ever seen. She hear d a noi se f r om somewher e el se i n t he house. Phi l omena br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he di ni ng r oom. She not i ced t he di ni ng r oom t abl e. Ki nda t acky . Thi ngs. The house was f ul l of t hi ngs. When she got ol d enough t o have a house, she' d own not hi ng. The bat hr oom was empt y. Fi nal l y, Di t a t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. Di t a was af r ai d, as s he al ways was, t hat a mur der er l ay i n ambush behi nd t he shower cur t ai n. Vi vi anna ent er ed t he l i br ar y. Vi vi anna f l i pped t hr ough some books. Nobody was i n t he gr eat hal l , so Dar by f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. " Wow, chec k out t hat t r i bal Af ghan r ug, " s he sai d t o no one i n par t i cul ar . Why she not i ced i n t he f i r st pl ace was beyond her . Nobody was i n t he mast er bat hr oom, so Ki ah f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. She st ar ed at t he bl onde onyx t oi l et uncompr ehendi ngl y. She hear d a noi se f r om somewher e el se i n t he house. She t hought about school , and how Vi vi anna and Ki ah had mor e money t han she di d. Why di d t hey l eave whenever she ent er ed a r oom? How coul d
t hat even be possi bl e? They wal ked ar ound t he school l i ke t hey owned t he pl ace. They wer e queen bees and t hey knew i t . But l i f e was pr obabl y har d f or t hem t oo, i n i t s own way. I t al ways i s. Di d t hey suspect she t hought about t hem so muc h? Phi l omena l ooked ar ound t he l i vi ng r oom. Phi l omena bounced on t he sof a, hopi ng t o r ecapt ur e her chi l dhood i nnocence. She t hought about Vi vi anna. Vi vi anna and t hat aquamar i ne sweat er of her s. She l i ked her so damn much. She want ed t hat bel t . Not hi ng el se woul d do. I t was al most t oo much t o deal wi t h. Di t a l ooked ar ound t he gr eat hal l . The t r i bal Af ghan r ug caught her eye. She t hought i t was t he ugl i es t t hi ng she' d ever seen. Why she not i ced i n t he f i r st pl ace was beyond her . Vi vi anna ent er ed t he l i br ar y. She dut i f ul l y avoi ded t he bookshel f out of some pr i mal r espect f or i t s ot her ness. She wi shed t he booze woul d ki ck i n. She t hought about Dar by. Dar by and t hat ost ent at i ous shi r t of her s. She envi ed her so damn much. Why di d ever yone want t o be l i ke her ? Just t hi nki ng about i t made her want t o puke. Dar by br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he guest bedr oom. The bed r emi nded her of her mot her . Bar f . Par t of her , a l ar ger par t t han she car ed t o admi t , want ed t o smash i t . Ki ah ent er ed t he mast er bedr oom. The next t hi ng she saw was t he ki ng si zed bed, whi ch l ef t her f eel i ng di squi et ed. She hear d a noi se f r om somewher e el se i n t he house. " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he back yar d al l t o mysel f , " t hought Gal e. She st ar ed at t he gas gr i l l uncompr ehendi ngl y. She wi shed t he booze woul d ki ck i n. She t hought about school , and how Gal e and Di t a never t al ked t o her . Di d t hey secr et l y l i ke her af t er al l ? I t di dn' t mat t er anyway. They wer e al ways l aughi ng wi t h t hei r per f ect f r i ends. They wal ked ar ound t he school l i ke t hey owned t he pl ace. They al ways got t hey want ed. Al ways. Nobody was i n t he guest bedr oom, so Di t a f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. Di t a guessed t hat t hi s was t he most bor i ng r oom i n t he house. Dar by ent er ed t he gr eat hal l t o f i nd Vi vi anna st andi ng t her e. Dar by eyed Vi vi anna' s ost ent at i ous bel t wi t h envy.
Af t er some t i me, Gal e f ound her sel f i n t he gar age. " Wow, check out t hat r i di ng l awnmower , " she sai d t o no one i n par t i cul ar . Why she not i ced i n t he f i r st pl ace was beyond her . Vi vi anna ent er ed t he gr eat hal l . Dar by was t her e, as i f wai t i ng. " What ' s your f avour i t e l i ne f r om a Soca song?" " I see you checki n me out . " Ki ah ent er ed t he gr eat hal l t o f i nd Vi vi anna st andi ng t her e. Ki ah l ooked angr y. " Why woul d you t hi nk t hat was f or you ?" she asked. " because I ' m so scar ed t o hear what peopl e t hi nk of me , " sai d Vi vi anna. " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he gar age al l t o mysel f , " t hought Phi l omena. She not i ced t he BMW. Ki nda t acky. Why she not i ced i n t he f i r st pl ace was beyond her . Ki ah encount er ed Vi vi anna i n t he gues t bedr oom. " Vi vi anna, what di d you dr eam about l ast ni ght ?" asked Ki ah. Vi vi anna seemed war y , but her f ace sof t ened. " I was at some ki nd of f l ea mar ket t hat had a bunch of r eal l y cool j ewel r y shops, and i t had a cal endar shop. So t hen my mom i nt r oduces me t o t hi s l ady, a ver y st r ange l ooki ng l ady. Af t er t he l ady goes t o one of t he shops , my mom whi s per s t o my gr andma t hat she i s a r api st . I hear d t hat and was scar ed. So I l ook ar ound at one j ewel r y shop when I have t o go t o t he bat hr oom. The st r ange l ady c ame by and I t ol d her I had t o go. She sai d, " I ' l l t ake you, " and gr i nned at me. I scr eamed f or my gr andma and when she came I sai d t o bot h of t hem, " Wi l l you bot h t ake me?" because I di dn' t want t o be al one wi t h t he l ady. My gr andma t ol d me she woul d be del i ght ed t o t ake me t o t he bat hr oom. The bat hr oom i s al l set up l i ke a st abl e and I go i n one of t he st al l s. Then my gr andma sai d she had t o l eave and I was goi ng t o have t o wal k al one wi t h t hi s l ady. When I get i nt o t he st al l , i t ' s not a st al l . Ther e' s a r odeo goi ng on. My f r i end Di ana was t her e and I asked her i f she coul d wal k me back, but she coul dn' t . Al l of a sudden I r emember i t ' s my dad' s bi r t hday, so I l eave t he r odeo and t he st r ange l ady t ugged me ar ound and I st ar t ed yel l i ng. Then I woke up. " Vi vi anna f ound Ki ah i n t he guest bedr oom. " What ' s t he bes t new book si nce hunger
games?" " Advent ur e t i me. " As Di t a ent er ed t he gr eat hal l , she saw Dar by maki ng t r oubl e. Di t a appear ed concer ned. " Why do y ou have Chr i st mas t r ees up?" she demanded. " because I l ove Chr i st mas ❄
, " sai d Dar by.
Di t a encount er ed Vi vi anna i n t he gr eat hal l . Di t a avoi ded Vi vi anna. Vi vi anna f ound Ki ah i n t he gr eat hal l . " Wher e di d you get t hat wat ch, Ki ah?" Ki ah i gnor ed her . Dar by ent er ed t he gr eat hal l . Vi vi anna was t her e, as i f wai t i ng. Dar by eyed Vi vi anna' s aquamar i ne sweat er wi t h envy. Ki ah ent er ed t he gr eat hal l . Dar by was t her e, as i f wai t i ng. " Dr eams, " Ki ah sai d. " Tel l me about your dr eams. " Dar by al most sai d not hi ng, but t hought bet t er of i t . " I had a younger si st er who r an away. I had t o go l ook at shi r t s she had wor n t o guess what she was wear i ng, and f i nal l y concl uded t hat she was at a mi ddl e school I used t o at t end. " Gal e br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he ki t chen. Gal e r i f l ed t hr ough t he cabi net s f or al cohol . Vi vi anna f ound Dar by i n t he gr eat hal l . Vi vi anna seemed concer ned. " Why do you t ake phot os wi t h your ass on t he si nk ?" she demanded. Dar by si ghed. " becaus e I ' m f or ced t o see t hose cr azy i nj ur y phot os peopl e r et weet omg. " Phi l omena l ooked ar ound t he l i vi ng r oom. Phi l omena bounced on t he sof a, hopi ng t o r ecapt ur e her chi l dhood i nnocence. " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he guest bedr oom al l t o mysel f , " t hought Di t a. Di t a i magi ned what ki nd of peopl e had st ayed i n t he bed. How many peopl e had had sex i n i t ? " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he br eakf ast nook al l t o mysel f , " t hought Gal e. The j ui cer caught her eye.
She t hought i t was t he ugl i est t hi ng she' d ever seen. She was hopi ng i t woul d di st r act her , i f f or some br i ef moment , f r om her l i f e. Ki ah ent er ed t he gr eat hal l . Dar by was t her e, as i f wai t i ng. Ki ah appear ed cr oss. " What ' s t he best mal l i n Tr ent on
?" she asked.
" Al so, t he Sher man Oaks West f i el d f ashi on squar e. " Dar by and Vi vi anna r an i nt o each ot her i n t he gr eat hal l . Dar by appear ed di si nt er est ed. " What ' s t he best way t o l i ve wi t h someone who hat es you?" she asked. Vi vi anna yel l ed. " i t has been conf i r med t hat f avor i t i ng t weet s. " The f r ont y ar d was empt y. Fi nal l y, Phi l omena t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. The next t hi ng she saw was t he t r ee, whi ch l ef t her f eel i ng di squi et ed. Thi ngs. The house was f ul l of t hi ngs. When she got ol d enough t o have a house, she' d own not hi ng. Nobody was i n t he guest bedr oom, so Di t a f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. The set of cur t ai ns caught her eye. She t hought i t was t he ugl i es t t hi ng she' d ever seen. Thi ngs. The house was f ul l of t hi ngs. When she got ol d enough t o have a house, she' d own not hi ng. Dar by br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he bat hr oom. The f r amed phot o of a f i s h caught her eye. She t hought i t was t he ugl i est t hi ng she' d ever seen. She wi shed t he booze woul d ki ck i n. Af t er some t i me, Ki ah f ound her sel f i n t he gr eat hal l . Ki ah t ook of f her shoes, got a r unni ng st ar t , a sl i d i n her socks down t he sl i ck har dwood f l oor s. Af t er some t i me, Phi l omena f ound her sel f i n t he f oyer . She st ar ed at t he si de t abl e uncompr ehendi ngl y. She hear d a noi se f r om somewher e el se i n t he house. The bat hr oom was empt y. Fi nal l y, Dar by t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. The naut i cal t hemed shower cur t ai n caught her eye. She t hought i t was t he ugl i est t hi ng she' d ever seen. She di dn' t gi ve i t a second t hought . Gal e ent er ed t he ki t chen. She dut i f ul l y avoi ded t he kni f e set out of some pr i mal r espect f or
i t s ot her ness. She wi shed t he booze woul d ki ck i n. Ki ah encount er ed Di t a i n t he gr eat hal l . " What ' s t he best way t o l i ve wi t h someone who hat es you?" " Bei ng ni c e t o f ast f ood wor ker s. " Phi l omena br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he l i vi ng r oom. Phi l omena bounc ed on t he sof a, hopi ng t o r ecapt ur e her chi l dhood i nnocence. Dar by l ook ed ar ound t he gr eat hal l . Dar by st ar ed down t he hal l , whi ch seemed l onger t han i t had any r i ght t o be. Ki ah encount er ed Di t a i n t he mast er bedr oom. Ki ah pl ayed ner vousl y wi t h her pur s e i n a successf ul bi d t o avoi d t al ki ng t o Di t a. Gal e ent er ed t he ki t chen. Gal e checked t he f r i dge f or snacks. The l i vi ng r oom was empt y. Fi nal l y, Phi l omena t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk . She dut i f ul l y avoi ded t he cof f ee t abl e out of some pr i mal r espect f or i t s ot her ness. Why she not i c ed i n t he f i r st pl ace was beyond her . The mast er bedr oom hel d t wo i t ems of i nt er est t o Di t a: t he ki ng si zed bed and Vi vi anna. Di t a st ar ed at Vi vi anna suspi ci ous l y. Vi vi anna wal ked i nt o t he mast er bedr oom and saw Ki ah. Gr eat . Vi vi anna pl ayed ner vousl y wi t h her s weat er i n a successf ul bi d t o avoi d t al ki ng t o Ki ah. Dar by ent er ed t he guest bedr oom. Dar by guessed t hat t hi s was t he most bor i ng r oom i n t he house. As Ki ah ent er ed t he mast er bedr oom, she saw Vi vi anna maki ng t r oubl e. Ki ah eyed Vi vi anna' s aquamar i ne sweat er wi t h envy. Phi l omena br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he l i vi ng r oom. Phi l omena t ur ned on t he TV f or a whi l e. She t hought about s chool , and how Vi vi anna and Gal e di dn' t have t o t r y har d
t o be l i ked. Why di d t hey l eave whenever she ent er ed a r oom? How coul d t hat even be poss i bl e? They wer e al ways l aughi ng wi t h t hei r per f ect f r i ends. They wal ked ar ound t he school l i ke t hey owned t he pl ace. They never i nvi t ed her t o par t i es; i t was a f l uke she ended up at t hi s one. But l i f e was pr obabl y har d f or t hem t oo, i n i t s own way. I t al ways i s. Di d t hey suspect she t hought about t hem so much? Vi vi anna f ound Ki ah i n t he mast er bedr oom. Vi vi anna avoi ded Ki ah. " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he guest bedr oom al l t o mysel f , " t hought Dar by. She dut i f ul l y avoi ded t he post er of a. . . Monet ? out of some pr i mal r espect f or i t s ot her ness. Par t of her , a l ar ger par t t han she car ed t o admi t , want ed t o smash i t . She t hought about Dar by. She hat ed her so damn muc h. She want ed t hat shi r t . Not hi ng el se woul d do. I t was al most t oo much t o deal wi t h. May be i f t hey coul d j ust be r eal wi t h each ot her f or once. . . Ki ah ent er ed t he mast er bedr oom. Vi vi anna was t her e, as i f wai t i ng. Ki ah eyed Vi v i anna' s aquamar i ne sweat er wi t h envy. Phi l omena ent er ed t he l i vi ng r oom. Phi l omena t ur ned on t he TV f or a whi l e. She t hought about Gal e. I t was al most t oo muc h t o deal wi t h. Why coul dn' t she be mor e l i ke her ? Why di d s he come t o t hi s st upi d house par t y i n t he f i r st pl ace? Vi vi anna f ound Dar by i n t he gr eat hal l . Vi vi anna st ar ed at Dar by suspi ci ousl y. The gr eat hal l hel d t wo i t ems of i nt er est t o Dar by: t he t r i bal Af ghan r ug and Vi vi anna. Dar by st ar ed at Vi vi anna suspi ci ousl y. She t hought about Vi vi anna. She l oved her so damn much. Why coul dn' t she be mor e l i ke her ? Maybe i f t hey coul d j ust be r eal wi t h each ot her f or once. . . Why di d she come t o t hi s s t upi d house par t y i n t he f i r st pl ace? Gal e br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he ki t chen. " Wow, check out t hat kni f e set , " she sai d t o no one i n par t i c ul ar . She was hopi ng i t woul d di st r act her , i f f or some br i ef moment , f r om her l i f e. Phi l omena br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he l i vi ng r oom. Phi l omena bounc ed on t he sof a, hopi ng t o r ecapt ur e her chi l dhood i nnocence.
Af t er some t i me, Gal e f ound her sel f i n t he br eakf ast nook. Gal e dr ank some j ui ce, f uck i t , r i ght ? Whose house even was t hi s ? The f oyer was empt y. Fi nal l y, Phi l omena t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. The chandel i er caught her eye. She t hought i t was t he ugl i est t hi ng she' d ever seen. Par t of her , a l ar ger par t t han she c ar ed t o admi t , want ed t o smash i t . Nobody was i n t he br eakf ast nook , so Gal e f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at eas e. Gal e dr ank some j ui ce, f uck i t , r i ght ? Whose house even was t hi s? Di t a wal ked i nt o t he mast er bedr oom and saw Vi vi anna. Gr eat . " What ' s t he best way t o ask a quest i on f or a f r i end?" " Shor t hai r , " sai d Vi vi anna. Ki ah ent er ed t he mast er bedr oom. Vi vi anna was t her e, as i f wai t i ng. " Why woul d y ou have t o cut a Sheep' s neck t o get wool f or a pai r of Uggs?" Vi vi anna chuckl ed. " because I f ol l ow you. " Phi l omena br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he f oyer . She not i ced t he chandel i er . Ki nda t acky. Par t of her , a l ar ger par t t han she car ed t o admi t , want ed t o smash i t . She t hought about school , and how Di t a and Gal e got bet t er gr ades t han her . Di d t hey secr et l y l i ke her af t er al l ? I t di dn' t mat t er anyway. They wer e al ways l aughi ng wi t h t hei r per f ect f r i ends. They wal ked ar ound t he school l i ke t hey owned t he pl ace. Vi vi anna wal ked i nt o t he gr eat hal l and saw Di t a. Gr eat . Di t a was cr yi ng. Vi vi anna ac t ed on i nst i nct . " Tel l me al l about i t . " she sai d. Di t a obl i ged i n an unbecomi ng out pour i ng. " Al l I r emember i s bei ng a cat er pi l l ar ( I t hi nk I was mal e, because I r emember comi ng " home f r om wor k" and f i ndi ng my wi f e al r eady t her e) . We wer e i n a cher r y t r ee. The f i r st dr eam I can onl y r emember huggi ng a f ai r l y young boy, and hi s t wo ol der br ot her s sayi ng somet hi ng al ong t he l i nes of " Don' t become t oo at t ached. " The dr eam af t er ( bef or e t he cat er pi l l ar s) I as i n t he Nat ur e Company st or e, or may be a sci ence museum gi f t shop. " Dar by ent er ed t he l i br ar y. Dar by f l i pped t hr ough some books.
Af t er some t i me, Gal e f ound her sel f i n t he ki t chen. The oven r emi nded her of her mot her . Bar f . Why she not i ced i n t he f i r st pl ace was beyond her . Af t er some t i me, Dar by f ound her sel f i n t he l i br ar y. The bookshel f caught her eye. She t hought i t was t he ugl i est t hi ng she' d ever seen. Thi ngs. The house was f ul l of t hi ngs. When she got ol d enough t o have a hous e, she' d own not hi ng. She t hought about Gal e. She want ed t hat shi r t . Not hi ng el se woul d do. Why coul dn' t she be mor e l i ke her ? Maybe i f t hey coul d j ust be r eal wi t h each ot her f or once. . . Nobody r eal l y knew how she f el t . Just t hi nki ng about i t made her want t o puke. Nobody was i n t he br eakf ast nook , so Gal e f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at eas e. Gal e dr ank some j ui ce, f uck i t , r i ght ? Whose house even was t hi s? " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he gar age al l t o mysel f , " t hought Phi l omena. The BMW r emi nded her of her mot her . Bar f . She wi shed t he booze woul d ki ck i n. Vi vi anna ent er ed t he mast er bedr oom. She st ar ed at t he t eak dr esser uncompr ehendi ngl y. She was hopi ng i t woul d di st r act her , i f f or some br i ef moment , f r om her l i f e. Af t er some t i me, Ki ah f ound her sel f i n t he mast er bat hr oom. She not i ced t he bl onde onyx f l oor i ng. Ki nda t acky. She was hopi ng i t woul d di st r act her , i f f or some br i ef moment , f r om her l i f e. Gal e ent er ed t he br eakf ast nook. Gal e dr ank some j ui ce, f uck i t , r i ght ? Whose house even was t hi s? Di t a wal ked i nt o t he gr eat hal l and saw Dar by. Gr eat . Di t a l ooked concer ned. " What ' s your f avor i t e G Eazy memor y?" she as ked. Dar by r ecoi l ed. " Act i ng up. " The back y ar d was empt y. Fi nal l y, Phi l omena t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. " Wow, chec k out t hat l awn f ur ni t ur e, " she sai d t o no one i n par t i cul ar . She di dn' t gi ve i t a s econd t hought .
Di t a wal ked i nt o t he mast er bedr oom and saw Dar by. Gr eat . Di t a pl ayed ner vousl y wi t h her phone i n a successf ul bi d t o avoi d t al ki ng t o Dar by. She t hought about school , and how Dar by and Gal e wer e such t ot al bi t ches. Why di d t hey l eave whenever she ent er ed a r oom? Di d t hey secr et l y l i ke her af t er al l ? I t di dn' t mat t er anyway. Af t er some t i me, Vi vi anna f ound her sel f i n t he l i br ar y. Vi vi anna t r i ed and f ai l ed t o open t he l ock on t he desk. Ki ah wal ked i nt o t he mast er bedr oom and saw Di t a. Gr eat . " Di t a, what di d y ou dr eam about l ast ni ght ?" as ked Ki ah. Di t a seemed war y, but her f ace sof t ened. " Me and my br ot her Max wer e swi mmi ng i n t he ocean. I j umped of f a cl i f f t o j oi n hi m, and we deci ded we' d st ay t her e over ni ght . So t hen we had t o go t o hi gher gr ound, and we hi ked up a bunch of hi l l s as t he sun was set t i ng ( i t was r eal l y pr et t y) , t hen f ound a cabi n we coul d st ay i n, t hat nobody el se was usi ng. Then my par ent s st opped by t o make sur e ever yt hi ng was okay, and t hat I had t aken my cont act s out . " " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he br eakf ast nook al l t o mysel f , " t hought Gal e. She dut i f ul l y avoi ded t he t abl e out of some pr i mal r espect f or i t s ot her ness. Par t of her , a l ar ger par t t han she car ed t o admi t , want ed t o smash i t . She t hought about Dar by. She hat ed her so damn much. Maybe i f t hey coul d j ust be r eal wi t h each ot her f or once. . . Nobody r eal l y knew how she f el t . As Dar by ent er ed t he mast er bedr oom, she saw Di t a maki ng t r oubl e. Dar by seemed cr oss. " What ' s t he best way t o get gum out of hai r ?" she demanded. Di t a f l i nched. " Wor ki ng out angr y. " The back y ar d was empt y. Fi nal l y, Phi l omena t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. She st ar ed at t he l awn f ur ni t ur e uncompr ehendi ngl y. She wi shed t he booze woul d ki ck i n. " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he f oyer al l t o mysel f , " t hought Vi vi anna. She not i ced t he si de t abl e. Ki nda t acky . Thi ngs. The house was f ul l of t hi ngs. When she got ol d enough t o have a house, she' d own not hi ng. She t hought about Ki ah. Ki ah and t hat f ashi onabl e pur se of her s. Why coul dn' t s he be mor e l i ke her ? Maybe i f t hey coul d j ust be r eal wi t h each ot her f or once. . . Nobody r eal l y knew how she f el t . Just t hi nki ng about i t made her want t o puke. Vi vi anna br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he l i br ar y. The mahogany wor k des k caught
her eye. She t hought i t was t he ugl i est t hi ng she' d ever seen. She was hopi ng i t woul d di st r act her , i f f or some br i ef moment , f r om her l i f e. Phi l omena ent er ed t he di ni ng r oom. Gal e was t her e, as i f wai t i ng. Phi l omena appear ed di si nt er es t ed. " Why woul d you t weet somet hi ng l i ke t hat ?" she asked. " because I f eel sadness i s not somet hi ng one shoul d pr omot e, " sai d Gal e. Gal e and Phi l omena r an i nt o each ot her i n t he di ni ng r oom. " What i s your f avour i t e t r ai ni ng out f i t col our ?" Gal e asked. " t hur sday. " Di t a encount er ed Dar by i n t he mast er bedr oom. Di t a pl ayed ner vousl y wi t h her phone i n a successf ul bi d t o avoi d t al ki ng t o Dar by. She t hought about Dar by. She l i ked her so damn much. I t was al most t oo much t o deal wi t h. Maybe i f t hey coul d j ust be r eal wi t h each ot her f or once. . . Nobody r eal l y knew how she f el t . Why di d ever yone want t o be l i ke her ? Just t hi nk i ng about i t made her want t o puke. Vi vi anna ent er ed t he l i br ar y. Vi vi anna f l i pped t hr ough some books. The gr eat hal l was empt y. Fi nal l y, Ki ah t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. " Wow, check out t hat f ami l y por t r ai t , " she sai d t o no one i n par t i cul ar . She hear d a noi se f r om somewher e el se i n t he house. Dar by ent er ed t he mast er bedr oom. Di t a was t her e, as i f wai t i ng. The ki t chen was empt y. Fi nal l y, Phi l omena t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. The next t hi ng she saw was t he f r i dge, whi c h l ef t her f eel i ng di squi et ed. She wi shed t he booze woul d ki ck i n. She t hought about Ki ah. Ki ah and t hat f ashi onabl e pur se of her s. She want ed t hat wat ch. Not hi ng el se woul d do. Why coul dn' t she be mor e l i ke her ? Just t hi nki ng about i t made her want t o puke. Why di d she come t o t hi s st upi d house par t y i n t he f i r st pl ace? The gr eat hal l hel d t wo i t ems of i nt er est t o Di t a: t he f ami l y por t r ai t and Ki ah. " Wher e di d you get t hat wat ch, Ki ah?" Ki ah i gnor ed her .
Dar by encount er ed Vi vi anna i n t he gr eat hal l . " Wher e di d you get t hat sweat er , Vi v i anna?" Vi vi anna i gnor ed her . Gal e ent er ed t he gar age. Gal e consi der ed get t i ng on t hat l awnmower and r i di ng i t out of t hi s pl ace. She t hought about Dar by. Dar by and t hat ost ent at i ous shi r t of her s. I t was al most t oo much t o deal wi t h. Why coul dn' t she be mor e l i ke her ? Maybe i f t hey coul d j ust be r eal wi t h each ot her f or once. . . Nobody r eal l y knew how she f el t . Just t hi nki ng about i t made her want t o puke. Why di d she come t o t hi s st upi d house par t y i n t he f i r st pl ace? The gr eat hal l hel d t wo i t ems of i nt er est t o Vi vi anna: t he t r i bal Af ghan r ug and Ki ah. " what ' s t he best bl ue t oot h f or my phone?" " Thi s. " Nobody was i n t he di ni ng r oom, so Phi l omena f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. She st ar ed at t he di ni ng r oom t abl e uncompr ehendi ngl y. She wi shed t he booze woul d ki ck i n. Dar by ent er ed t he gr eat hal l . Vi vi anna was t her e, as i f wai t i ng. Dar by pl ayed ner vousl y wi t h her shi r t i n a successf ul bi d t o avoi d t al ki ng t o Vi vi anna. Ki ah wal k ed i nt o t he bat hr oom and saw Di t a. Gr eat . " Wher e di d you get t hat sweat er , Di t a?" Di t a i gnor ed her . Phi l omena l ooked ar ound t he ki t chen. The oven r emi nded her of her mot her . Bar f . Thi ngs. The house was f ul l of t hi ngs. When she got ol d enough t o have a house, she' d own not hi ng. As Di t a ent er ed t he gr eat hal l , she saw Dar by maki ng t r oubl e. Di t a avoi ded Dar by. Dar by ent er ed t he gr eat hal l t o f i nd Di t a st andi ng t her e. Dar by st ar ed at Di t a suspi c i ousl y. Af t er some t i me, Di t a f ound her sel f i n t he mast er bedr oom. The t eak dr esser caught her eye. She t hought i t was t he ugl i es t t hi ng she' d ever seen. She wi shed t he booze woul d ki ck i n. Nobody was i n t he di ni ng r oom, so Phi l omena f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease.
She st ar ed at t he di ni ng r oom t abl e uncompr ehendi ngl y. She was hopi ng i t woul d di st r act her , i f f or some br i ef moment , f r om her l i f e. She t hought about Phi l omena. Phi l omena and t hat cr i ms on phone of her s. She want ed t hat scar f . Not hi ng el se woul d do. Why coul dn' t she be mor e l i ke her ? Maybe i f t hey coul d j ust be r eal wi t h each ot her f or once. . . Nobody r eal l y knew how she f el t . Why di d ever yone want t o be l i ke her ? Di t a ent er ed t he mast er bat hr oom. She dut i f ul l y avoi ded t he bl onde onyx count er t op out of some pr i mal r espect f or i t s ot her ness. Thi ngs. The house was f ul l of t hi ngs. When she got ol d enough t o have a house, she' d own not hi ng. Dar by ent er ed t he guest bedr oom. Dar by i magi ned what ki nd of peopl e had st ayed i n t he bed. How many peopl e had had sex i n i t ? Gal e ent er ed t he ki t chen. She st ar ed at t he oven uncompr ehendi ngl y. She wi shed t he booze woul d ki ck i n. " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he f oyer al l t o mysel f , " t hought Ki ah. Ki ah debat ed j ust l eavi ng t he house. Gal e br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he ki t chen. She not i ced t he oven. Ki nda t acky. She was hopi ng i t woul d di st r act her , i f f or some br i ef moment , f r om her l i f e. She t hought about Vi vi anna. Why coul dn' t she be mor e l i ke her ? Nobody was i n t he guest bedr oom, so Vi vi anna f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. " Wow, check out t hat post er of a. . . Monet ?, " she sai d t o no one i n par t i cul ar . She di dn' t gi ve i t a second t hought . She t hought about school , and how Phi l omena and Gal e t hought t hey wer e so much bet t er t han ever yone el se. How coul d t hat even be possi bl e? Di d t hey secr et l y l i ke her af t er al l ? I t di dn' t mat t er anyway. They never i nvi t ed her t o par t i es; i t was a f l uke she ended up at t hi s one. They al ways got t hey want ed. Al ways. Di d t hey sus pect she t hought about t hem so much? Nobody was i n t he gr eat hal l , so Dar by f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. Dar by t ook of f her shoes, got a r unni ng s t ar t , a sl i d i n her socks down t he sl i ck har dwood f l oor s. Af t er some t i me, Ki ah f ound her sel f i n t he f oyer . Ki ah debat ed j ust l eavi ng t he house. As
Dar by ent er ed t he gr eat hal l , she saw Vi vi anna maki ng t r oubl e. Vi vi anna was cr yi ng. Dar by act ed on i nst i nct . " Tel l me al l about i t . " she sai d. Vi vi anna obl i ged i n an unbecomi ng out pour i ng. " Al l I an r emember i s goi ng t hr ough a house t hen i nt o a gar den maze. I t t ur ned out t o be one of t hose " gr oup" ski l l s act i vi t i es, but i t t ook me a whi l e t o f i nd my gr oup. They had f ound many cl ues al r eady, so I wasn' t t hat hel pf ul . I t hi nk we won. " Ki ah l ooked ar ound t he l i br ar y. Ki ah f l i pped t hr ough some books. As Vi vi anna ent er ed t he gr eat hal l , she saw Dar by maki ng t r oubl e. Vi vi anna seemed angr y. " What ' s your f avour i t e ai r por t ?" she asked. Dar by si ghed. " exo at t he ai r por t on 130603 was l i t er al l y t he best day ever yone l ooked f ucki ng amazi ng i t . " The gr eat hal l was empt y. Fi nal l y, Di t a t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. The f ami l y por t r ai t caught her eye. She t hought i t was t he ugl i est t hi ng she' d ever seen. Why she not i c ed i n t he f i r st pl ace was beyond her . Nobody was i n t he mast er bedr oom, so Vi vi anna f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. She not i ced t he t eak dr esser . Ki nda t acky. She hear d a noi se f r om somewher e el s e i n t he house. Dar by ent er ed t he bat hr oom. The t oi l et caught her eye. She t hought i t was t he ugl i est t hi ng she' d ever seen. She hear d a noi s e f r om somewher e el se i n t he house. She t hought about school , and how Dar by and Di t a had mor e money t han she di d. They wer e al ways l aughi ng wi t h t hei r per f ect f r i ends. They wal k ed ar ound t he school l i k e t hey owned t he pl ace. They wer e queen bees and t hey knew i t . They al ways got t hey want ed. Al ways. But l i f e was pr obabl y har d f or t hem t oo, i n i t s own way. I t al ways i s. Di d t hey suspect she t hought about t hem so much? Af t er some t i me, Ki ah f ound her sel f i n t he f oyer . She dut i f ul l y avoi ded t he si de t abl e out of some pr i mal r espect f or i t s ot her ness. Why she not i ced i n t he f i r st pl ace was beyond her . As Gal e ent er ed t he ki t chen, she saw Phi l omena maki ng t r oubl e. " Wher e di d you get t hat
phone, Phi l omena?" Phi l omena i gnor ed her . She t hought about school , and how Phi l omena and Gal e di dn' t have t o t r y har d t o be l i ked. How coul d t hat even be possi bl e? They wer e al ways l aughi ng wi t h t hei r per f ect f r i ends. They al ways got t hey want ed. Al ways. The di ni ng r oom was empt y. Fi nal l y, Phi l omena t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. The next t hi ng she saw was t he si l ver war e, whi ch l ef t her f eel i ng di squi et ed. She wi shed t he booze woul d ki ck i n. She t hought about Ki ah. Ki ah and t hat ost ent at i ous wat ch of her s. She l i ked her so damn much. Nobody r eal l y knew how she f el t . Why di d ever yone want t o be l i ke her ? Just t hi nki ng about i t made her want t o puke. Why di d she come t o t hi s st upi d house par t y i n t he f i r st pl ace? The gr eat hal l hel d t wo i t ems of i nt er est t o Di t a: t he f ami l y por t r ai t and Dar by. Di t a eyed Dar by' s emer al d coat wi t h envy. Vi vi anna l ooked ar ound t he mast er bat hr oom. The next t hi ng she saw was t he bl onde onyx t oi l et , whi c h l ef t her f eel i ng di squi et ed. Why she not i ced i n t he f i r st pl ace was beyond her . She t hought about Gal e. Gal e and t hat t eal shi r t of her s. I t was al most t oo much t o deal wi t h. Why c oul dn' t she be mor e l i k e her ? Maybe i f t hey coul d j ust be r eal wi t h each ot her f or once. . . Why di d ever yone want t o be l i ke her ? Dar by wal k ed i nt o t he gr eat hal l and saw Di t a. Gr eat . Dar by st ar ed at Di t a suspi ci ousl y. She t hought about Di t a. Di t a and t hat i ncr edi bl e phone of her s. Maybe i f t hey coul d j ust be r eal wi t h each ot her f or once. . . Why di d ever yone want t o be l i ke her ? Just t hi nki ng about i t made her want t o puke. Why di d she come t o t hi s st upi d house par t y i n t he f i r st pl ace? Ki ah br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he f r ont yar d. Ki ah st ar t ed t o cl i mb t he t r ee, t hen t hought bet t er of i t . Gal e l ook ed ar ound t he cl oset . Gal e sur r ept i ci ousl y r ear r anged t he suppl i es. Di t a ent er ed t he bat hr oom. She not i ced t he f r amed phot o of a f i sh. Ki nda t acky. Thi ngs. The house was f ul l of t hi ngs. When she got ol d enough t o have a house, she' d own not hi ng. She t hought about Vi vi anna. Vi vi anna and t hat ost ent at i ous bel t of her s. She want ed t hat bel t . Not hi ng el se woul d do. Why coul dn' t she be mor e l i ke her ? Nobody r eal l y knew how
she f el t . Why di d she come t o t hi s s t upi d house par t y i n t he f i r st pl ace? Nobody was i n t he mast er bedr oom, so Vi vi anna f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. She st ar ed at t he t eak dr esser uncompr ehendi ngl y. She was hopi ng i t woul d di st r act her , i f f or some br i ef moment , f r om her l i f e. She t hought about Dar by. Maybe i f t hey coul d j ust be r eal wi t h each ot her f or once. . . Why di d ever yone want t o be l i ke her ? Just t hi nki ng about i t made her want t o puke. Why di d she come t o t hi s st upi d house par t y i n t he f i r st pl ace? Dar by l ook ed ar ound t he gr eat hal l . The t r i bal Af ghan r ug r emi nded her of her mot her . Bar f . She was hopi ng i t woul d di st r act her , i f f or some br i ef moment , f r om her l i f e. The f r ont y ar d was empt y. Fi nal l y, Ki ah t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. She dut i f ul l y avoi ded t he l awn out of some pr i mal r espect f or i t s ot her ness. She wi shed t he booze woul d ki ck i n. Gal e f ound Phi l omena i n t he ki t chen. Gal e st ar ed at Phi l omena suspi ci ousl y. She t hought about Phi l omena. She want ed t hat phone. Not hi ng el se woul d do. Maybe i f t hey coul d j ust be r eal wi t h each ot her f or once. . . Why di d ever yone want t o be l i ke her ? Just t hi nki ng about i t made her want t o puke. Phi l omena and Gal e r an i nt o each ot her i n t he ki t chen. Phi l omena l ooked di si nt er est ed. " What ' s your f avour i t e l i ne f r om a Soca chune?" she asked. " My bi o, " sai d Gal e. Af t er some t i me, Phi l omena f ound her sel f i n t he di ni ng r oom. She st ar ed at t he di ni ng r oom t abl e uncompr ehendi ngl y. She di dn' t gi ve i t a second t hought . As Dar by ent er ed t he gr eat hal l , s he saw Vi vi anna maki ng t r oubl e. Dar by avoi ded Vi vi anna. Af t er some t i me, Ki ah f ound her sel f i n t he f oyer . The next t hi ng she saw was t he si de t abl e, whi ch l ef t her f eel i ng di squi et ed. Par t of her , a l ar ger par t t han she car ed t o admi t , want ed t o smash i t .
Gal e br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he ki t chen. She dut i f ul l y avoi ded t he f r i dge out of some pr i mal r espect f or i t s ot her ness. Why she not i ced i n t he f i r st pl ace was bey ond her . She t hought about Dar by. She l ov ed her so damn much. Nobody r eal l y knew how she f el t . Why di d ev er yone want t o be l i ke her ? Just t hi nki ng about i t made her want t o puk e. Why di d s he come t o t hi s st upi d house par t y i n t he f i r st pl ace? Di t a wal ked i nt o t he gr eat hal l and saw Dar by. Gr eat . " what ' s your f avor i t e col our ?" Di t a asked. Dar by squi r med. " pi nk. " Vi vi anna wal ked i nt o t he gr eat hal l and saw Di t a. Gr eat . " What i s t he best and cheapest i nt er net ?" i nqui r ed Vi vi anna. " l ar i s , " sai d Di t a. Af t er some t i me, Phi l omena f ound her sel f i n t he ki t chen. The next t hi ng she saw was t he f r i dge, whi ch l ef t her f eel i ng di squi et ed. She wi shed t he booze woul d ki ck i n. She t hought about Di t a. She hat ed her so damn much. Maybe i f t hey coul d j ust be r eal wi t h each ot her f or once. . . Nobody r eal l y knew how she f el t . Why di d she come t o t hi s st upi d house par t y i n t he f i r st pl ace? Di t a ent er ed t he gr eat hal l t o f i nd Dar by st andi ng t her e. Di t a avoi ded Dar by. Nobody was i n t he f r ont yar d, so Ki ah f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. Ki ah st ar t ed t o cl i mb t he t r ee, t hen t hought bet t er of i t . The cl oset was empt y. Fi nal l y, Gal e t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. Gal e sur r ept i ci ousl y r ear r anged t he suppl i es. Nobody was i n t he bat hr oom, so Di t a f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. The t oi l et caught her eye. She t hought i t was t he ugl i est t hi ng she' d ever seen. She hear d a noi se f r om somewher e el se i n t he house. She t hought about Ki ah. Ki ah and t hat ost ent at i ous wat ch of her s. She l oved her so damn much. She want ed t hat pur se. Not hi ng el se woul d do. Maybe i f t hey coul d j ust be r eal wi t h each ot her f or once. . . Nobody r eal l y knew how she
f el t . J ust t hi nki ng about i t made her want t o puke. Ki ah l ooked ar ound t he f r ont yar d. Ki ah st ar t ed t o cl i mb t he t r ee, t hen t hought bet t er of i t . Vi vi anna encount er ed Dar by i n t he gr eat hal l . Vi vi anna appear ed angr y. " Why woul d you car e?" she asked. " because I car e TOO damn much, " sai d Dar by. Dar by encount er ed Vi vi anna i n t he gr eat hal l . " what ' s t he best f or you?" " St ayi ng s i ngl e. " Di t a ent er ed t he bat hr oom. Di t a j i ggl ed t he t oi l et handl e. She t hought about school , and how Vi vi anna and Dar by got bet t er gr ades t han her . Di d t hey secr et l y l i ke her af t er al l ? I t di dn' t mat t er anyway. They wer e queen bees and t hey knew i t . They al ways got t hey want ed. Al ways. Di d t hey suspect s he t hought about t hem s o much? Dar by ent er ed t he l i br ar y. Dar by t r i ed and f ai l ed t o open t he l ock on t he desk. She t hought about Gal e. She envi ed her so damn much. She want ed t hat ski r t . Not hi ng el se woul d do. I t was al most t oo much t o deal wi t h. Gal e encount er ed Phi l omena i n t he back yar d. The back y ar d hel d t wo i t ems of i nt er est t o Phi l omena: t he gas gr i l l and Gal e. Phi l omena ent er ed t he di ni ng r oom. " Wow, check out t hat si l ver war e, " she sai d t o no one i n par t i cul ar . She wi shed t he booze woul d ki ck i n. " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he bat hr oom al l t o mysel f , " t hought Di t a. Di t a r el i eved her sel f . She t hought about Gal e. Maybe i f t hey coul d j ust be r eal wi t h each ot her f or once. . . Why di d ev er yone want t o be l i ke her ? Just t hi nki ng about i t made her want t o puke. Why di d she come t o t hi s st upi d house par t y i n t he f i r st pl ac e? Vi vi anna br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he mast er bat hr oom. She st ar ed at t he bl onde ony x f l oor i ng uncompr ehendi ngl y. Thi ngs. The house was f ul l of t hi ngs. When she
got ol d enough t o have a house, s he' d own not hi ng. She t hought about school , and how Vi vi anna and Phi l omena never t al ked t o her . Wer e t hey j eal ous of her somehow? Not l i kel y. They wal ked ar ound t he school l i ke t hey owned t he pl ace. They wer e queen bees and t hey knew i t . Af t er some t i me, Dar by f ound her sel f i n t he l i br ar y. Dar by f l i pped t hr ough some books. " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he ki t chen al l t o mysel f , " t hought Phi l omena. The next t hi ng she saw was t he oven, whi ch l ef t her f eel i ng di s qui et ed. Thi ngs. The house was f ul l of t hi ngs. When she got ol d enough t o have a house, s he' d own not hi ng. " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he bat hr oom al l t o mysel f , " t hought Di t a. She st ar ed at t he t oi l et uncompr ehendi ngl y. She was hopi ng i t woul d di st r act her , i f f or some br i ef moment , f r om her l i f e. Dar by l ook ed ar ound t he l i br ar y. Dar by t r i ed and f ai l ed t o open t he l ock on t he desk. She t hought about Ki ah. She l oved her so damn much. I t was al most t oo much t o deal wi t h. Nobody r eal l y knew how she f el t . Why di d she come t o t hi s st upi d house par t y i n t he f i r st pl ace? The di ni ng r oom was empt y. Fi nal l y, Ki ah t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. She not i ced t he si l ver war e. Ki nda t acky. She was hopi ng i t woul d di st r act her , i f f or some br i ef moment , f r om her l i f e. Gal e ent er ed t he gar age. Gal e t r i ed t o j i mmy t he l ock on t he car and ended up set t i ng of f t he al ar m. Whoops. Phi l omena br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he ki t chen. She dut i f ul l y avoi ded t he oven out of some pr i mal r espect f or i t s ot her ness. Why she not i ced i n t he f i r st pl ace was beyond her . She t hought about Di t a. Di t a and t hat i ncr edi bl e sweat er of her s. Why coul dn' t she be mor e l i ke her ? Just t hi nki ng about i t made her want t o puke. Why di d she come t o t hi s st upi d house par t y i n t he f i r st pl ac e? Di t a l ooked ar ound t he bat hr oom. " Wow, check out t hat naut i cal t hemed shower cur t ai n, "
she sai d t o no one i n par t i cul ar . She hear d a noi se f r om somewher e el se i n t he house. The l i br ar y was empt y. Fi nal l y, Dar by t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. Dar by t r i ed and f ai l ed t o open t he l ock on t he desk. Ki ah l ooked ar ound t he di ni ng r oom. She st ar ed at t he di ni ng r oom t abl e uncompr ehendi ngl y. She di dn' t gi v e i t a second t hought . Gal e br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he gr eat hal l . The f ami l y por t r ai t r emi nded her of her mot her . Bar f . Par t of her , a l ar ger par t t han she car ed t o admi t , want ed t o smash i t . She t hought about Ki ah. I t was al most t oo much t o deal wi t h. Maybe i f t hey coul d j ust be r eal wi t h each ot her f or once. . . Nobody r eal l y knew how she f el t . Why di d she come t o t hi s st upi d house par t y i n t he f i r st pl ac e? " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he ki t chen al l t o mysel f , " t hought Phi l omena. The oven caught her eye. She t hought i t was t he ugl i est t hi ng she' d ever seen. She hear d a noi se f r om somewher e el se i n t he house. Vi vi anna ent er ed t he mast er bat hr oom. The bl onde onyx t oi l et r emi nded her of her mot her . Bar f . She hear d a noi se f r om somewher e el se i n t he house. Af t er some t i me, Dar by f ound her sel f i n t he f oyer . She dut i f ul l y avoi ded t he si de t abl e out of some pr i mal r espect f or i t s ot her ness. Why she not i ced i n t he f i r st pl ace was beyond her . " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he back yar d al l t o mysel f , " t hought Ki ah. The gas gr i l l caught her eye. She t hought i t was t he ugl i est t hi ng she' d ever seen. She wi shed t he booze woul d ki ck i n. Di t a l ooked ar ound t he guest bedr oom. Di t a i magi ned what ki nd of peopl e had st ay ed i n t he bed. How many peopl e had had sex i n i t ? Dar by ent er ed t he f r ont yar d. She dut i f ul l y avoi ded t he l awn out of some pr i mal r es pect f or i t s ot her ness. Thi ngs. The house was f ul l of t hi ngs. When she got ol d enough t o hav e a house, she' d own not hi ng. Gal e br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he l i br ar y. Gal e t r i ed and f ai l ed t o open t he l ock
on t he des k. Nobody was i n t he guest bedr oom, so Di t a f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. Di t a guessed t hat t hi s was t he most bor i ng r oom i n t he house. Af t er some t i me, Dar by f ound her sel f i n t he gar age. Dar by peer ed i n t he car door f or some ki nd of cl ue as t o whose house t hi s was. Vi vi anna encount er ed Di t a i n t he gr eat hal l . " Wher e di d you get t hat phone, Di t a?" Di t a i gnor ed her . Nobody was i n t he gar age, so Dar by f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. The BMW r emi nded her of her mot her . Bar f . She wi shed t he booze woul d ki ck i n. Di t a and Vi vi anna r an i nt o each ot her i n t he gr eat hal l . " What ' s your f avor i t e movi e?" " Pear l Har bor . " Phi l omena l ooked ar ound t he ki t chen. She not i ced t he f r i dge. Ki nda t acky. She di dn' t gi ve i t a second t hought . She t hought about Vi vi anna. She hat ed her so damn much. I t was al most t oo much t o deal wi t h. Nobody r eal l y knew how she f el t . Just t hi nki ng about i t made her want t o puke. Vi vi anna l ooked ar ound t he l i br ar y . She not i ced t he bookshel f . Ki nda t acky. Why she not i c ed i n t he f i r st pl ace was beyond her . Dar by br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he gar age. She dut i f ul l y avoi ded t he r i di ng l awnmower out of some pr i mal r espect f or i t s ot her ness. She was hopi ng i t woul d di st r act her , i f f or some br i ef moment , f r om her l i f e. She t hought about school , and how Di t a and Dar by got bet t er gr ades t han her . Di d t hey secr et l y l i ke her af t er al l ? I t di dn' t mat t er anyway. They wal ked ar ound t he school l i ke t hey owned t he pl ace. They never i nvi t ed her t o par t i es; i t was a f l uke she ended up at t hi s one. They al ways got t hey want ed. Al ways. Gal e ent er ed t he bat hr oom. Gal e j i ggl ed t he t oi l et handl e. " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he cl oset al l t o mysel f , " t hought Phi l omena. Phi l omena l ooked f or some
paper t owel s. " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he l i br ar y al l t o mysel f , " t hought Vi vi anna. Vi vi anna t r i ed and f ai l ed t o open t he l ock on t he desk. She t hought about school , and how Phi l omena and Dar by di dn' t have t o t r y har d t o be l i ked. How coul d t hat even be possi bl e? They wer e queen bees and t hey knew i t . They never i nvi t ed her t o par t i es; i t was a f l uke she ended up at t hi s one. But l i f e was pr obabl y har d f or t hem t oo, i n i t s own way. I t al ways i s. Nobody was i n t he gar age, so Dar by f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. The next t hi ng she saw was t he BMW, whi ch l ef t her f eel i ng di squi et ed. Why she not i ced i n t he f i r st pl ace was beyond her . Ki ah br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he l i vi ng r oom. The f l at scr een TV caught her eye. She t hought i t was t he ugl i es t t hi ng she' d ever seen. She hear d a noi se f r om somewher e el se i n t he house. Gal e l ook ed ar ound t he gr eat hal l . Gal e t ook of f her shoes, got a r unni ng st ar t , a s l i d i n her socks down t he sl i ck har dwood f l oor s. Nobody was i n t he ki t c hen, so Phi l omena f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. Phi l omena r i f l ed t hr ough t he cabi net s f or al cohol . Nobody was i n t he gar age, so Dar by f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. Dar by t r i ed t o j i mmy t he l ock on t he car and ended up set t i ng of f t he al ar m. Whoops. Af t er some t i me, Gal e f ound her sel f i n t he guest bedr oom. She st ar ed at t he post er of a. . . Monet ? uncompr ehendi ngl y. She di dn' t gi ve i t a second t hought . Phi l omena l ooked ar ound t he br eakf ast nook. Phi l omena dr ank some j ui ce, f uck i t , r i ght ? Whose house even was t hi s? She t hought about Ki ah. Ki ah and t hat f ashi onabl e pur se of her s. She want ed t hat pur se. Not hi ng el se woul d do. Why coul dn' t she be mor e l i k e her ? Di t a f ound Gal e i n t he gr eat hal l . Di t a eyed Gal e' s t eal shi r t wi t h envy. Dar by l ook ed ar ound t he gar age. She st ar ed at t he r i di ng l awnmower uncompr ehendi ngl y.
She wi shed t he booze woul d ki ck i n. As Gal e ent er ed t he gr eat hal l , she saw Di t a maki ng t r oubl e. Di t a st i f f ened and began t o r ambl e, not not i ci ng Gal e, as i f i n a f ugue st at e. " I went wi t h my best f r i end, Al i xanne, and her f ami l y t o get t hei r Chr i st mas t r ee. They got a t r ee f r om a spot t hat l ooked exact l y l i ke wher e I had got t en my Chr i st mas t r ee. I t ol d her al l about how I got my Chr i st mas t r ee. " Nobody was i n t he ki t c hen, so Phi l omena f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. The oven caught her eye. She t hought i t was t he ugl i est t hi ng she' d ever seen. She hear d a noi se f r om somewher e el se i n t he house. She t hought about Dar by. Dar by and t hat emer al d c oat of her s. Why coul dn' t she be mor e l i ke her ? Why di d ever yone want t o be l i ke her ? " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he guest bedr oom al l t o mysel f , " t hought Gal e. Gal e guessed t hat t hi s was t he most bor i ng r oom i n t he house. Phi l omena ent er ed t he ki t chen. Phi l omena r i f l ed t hr ough t he cabi net s f or al cohol . Nobody was i n t he gr eat hal l , so Di t a f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. She st ar ed at t he t r i bal Af ghan r ug uncompr ehendi ngl y. She hear d a noi se f r om somewher e el se i n t he house. She t hought about Phi l omena. She l oved her so damn much. Nobody r eal l y knew how she f el t . Just t hi nki ng about i t made her want t o puke. Gal e br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he guest bedr oom. Gal e guessed t hat t hi s was t he most bor i ng r oom i n t he house. Vi vi anna ent er ed t he l i v i ng r oom t o f i nd Ki ah st andi ng t her e. " WHY WOULD YOU EVER TAKE A PI CTURE OF YOUR SHI T, WHY WOULD YOU EVER SEND I T TO ANYONE WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY?" Vi vi anna asked. " because I saw a pi ct ur e of ar r y t hat made me t hi nk of i t , " sai d Ki ah. Di t a ent er ed t he bat hr oom. Di t a l ooked ar ound f or t ampons, f i ndi ng none. Af t er some t i me, Dar by f ound her sel f i n t he gr eat hal l . She dut i f ul l y avoi ded t he t r i bal Af ghan r ug out of some pr i mal r espect f or i t s ot her ness. Thi ngs. The house was f ul l of
t hi ngs. When she got ol d enough t o have a house, she' d own not hi ng. Gal e ent er ed t he guest bedr oom. Gal e guessed t hat t hi s was t he most bor i ng r oom i n t he house. The f r ont y ar d was empt y. Fi nal l y, Vi vi anna t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. She dut i f ul l y avoi ded t he l awn out of some pr i mal r espect f or i t s ot her ness. Thi ngs. The house was f ul l of t hi ngs. When she got ol d enough t o have a house, she' d own not hi ng. Dar by br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he guest bedr oom. Dar by guessed t hat t hi s was t he most bor i ng r oom i n t he house. She t hought about school , and how Phi l omena and Vi vi anna t hought t hey wer e so muc h bet t er t han ever yone el se. Wer e t hey j eal ous of her somehow? Not l i kel y. Di d t hey secr et l y l i ke her af t er al l ? I t di dn' t mat t er anyway. They al ways got t hey want ed. Al ways. Ki ah encount er ed Phi l omena i n t he ki t chen. " What i s your f avour i t e heal t hy meal t o make dur i ng t he wor k week?" asked Ki ah. " sal ad. " Phi l omena ent er ed t he ki t chen t o f i nd Ki ah st andi ng t her e. Phi l omena appear ed conc er ned. " why woul d you ever t r eat her wr ong?" she i nqui r ed. " because I ' l l be mi ssi ng out on someone t hat can t r eat me much bet t er , " sai d Ki ah. As Gal e ent er ed t he gr eat hal l , she saw Di t a maki ng t r oubl e. " What i s t he best oi l t o use?" " ' pussy, " sai d Di t a. Di t a ent er ed t he gr eat hal l . Dar by was t her e, as i f wai t i ng. Dar by l ooked di r ect l y at Di t a. " I had t he wei r dest dr eam, " she sai d. " I was i n Nor t her n Br i t i sh Col umbi a and I was wal ki ng down a st r eet . At t he end of t he st r eet was a beaut i f ul l ake. I was wear i ng goggl es and I f ound t hat I coul dn' t see ver y wel l wi t hout t hem of f . I went i nt o a dr ug st or e but I coul d buy anyt hi ng. I r eal i zed t hi s was wher e I want ed t o l i ve. My f r i ends wer e maki ng snowbal l s near t he l ake. They wer e wear i ng ski cl ot hes. "
Vi vi anna l ooked ar ound t he f oyer . Vi vi anna debat ed j ust l eavi ng t he house. Ki ah br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he br eakf ast nook. Ki ah dr ank some j ui ce, f uck i t , r i ght ? Whose house even was t hi s? Dar by encount er ed Di t a i n t he gr eat hal l . " what ' s your f avor i t e col our ?" demanded Dar by. " Or ange. " Nobody was i n t he f r ont yar d, so Vi vi anna f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at eas e. Vi vi anna r an her f i nger s t hr ough t he wel l mani cur ed gr ass, dr eami ng of bet t er day s. Dar by ent er ed t he gr eat hal l . She not i ced t he f ami l y por t r ai t . Ki nda t acky. Par t of her , a l ar ger par t t han she car ed t o admi t , want ed t o smash i t . She t hought about school , and how Di t a and Vi vi anna wer e such t ot al bi t ches. Why di d t hey l eave whenever she ent er ed a r oom? They never i nvi t ed her t o par t i es; i t was a f l uke she ended up at t hi s one. Af t er some t i me, Gal e f ound her sel f i n t he guest bedr oom. The set of cur t ai ns caught her eye. She t hought i t was t he ugl i es t t hi ng she' d ever seen. Thi ngs. The house was f ul l of t hi ngs. When she got ol d enough t o have a house, she' d own not hi ng. As Ki ah ent er ed t he ki t chen, she s aw Phi l omena maki ng t r oubl e. " What ' s your f avour i t e ai r por t ?" " exo at t he ai r por t on 130603 was l i t er al l y t he best day ever yone l ooked f ucki ng amazi ng i t . " Nobody was i n t he ki t c hen, so Phi l omena f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. Phi l omena r i f l ed t hr ough t he cabi net s f or al cohol . She t hought about Di t a. Di t a and t hat i ncr edi bl e phone of her s. She want ed t hat phone. Not hi ng el se woul d do. Just t hi nki ng about i t made her want t o puke. Why di d she come t o t hi s st upi d house par t y i n t he f i r st pl ace? As Di t a ent er ed t he gr eat hal l , she saw Gal e maki ng t r oubl e. Di t a st ar ed at Gal e suspi ci ous l y.
The f oyer was empt y. Fi nal l y, Vi vi anna t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. She dut i f ul l y avoi ded t he si de t abl e out of some pr i mal r espect f or i t s ot her ness. Why she not i ced i n t he f i r st pl ace was beyond her . The mast er bedr oom was empt y. Fi nal l y, Dar by t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. She dut i f ul l y avoi ded t he ki ng si zed bed out of some pr i mal r espect f or i t s ot her ness. Par t of her , a l ar ger par t t han she car ed t o admi t , want ed t o smash i t . Ki ah br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he br eakf ast nook. Ki ah dr ank some j ui ce, f uck i t , r i ght ? Whose house even was t hi s? Di t a ent er ed t he guest bedr oom. Di t a guessed t hat t hi s was t he most bor i ng r oom i n t he house. Vi vi anna br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he l i vi ng r oom. Vi vi anna bounced on t he sof a, hopi ng t o r ecapt ur e her chi l dhood i nnocence. She t hought about Ki ah. I t was al most t oo much t o deal wi t h. Nobody r eal l y knew how she f el t . Just t hi nki ng about i t made her want t o puke. The bat hr oom was empt y. Fi nal l y, Gal e t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. The next t hi ng she saw was t he t oi l et , whi ch l ef t her f eel i ng di squi et ed. Why she not i ced i n t he f i r st pl ace was beyond her . As Phi l omena ent er ed t he ki t chen, she saw Ki ah maki ng t r oubl e. " What i s your f av our i t e heal t hy meal t o make dur i ng t he wor k week?" i nqui r ed Phi l omena. " sal ad. " Af t er some t i me, Phi l omena f ound her sel f i n t he br eakf ast nook. Phi l omena dr ank s ome j ui ce, f uck i t , r i ght ? Whose house even was t hi s? The mast er bat hr oom was empt y. Fi nal l y, Dar by t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. She dut i f ul l y avoi ded t he bl onde onyx f l oor i ng out of some pr i mal r espect f or i t s ot her ness. She hear d a noi se f r om somewher e el se i n t he house.
The br eak f ast nook was empt y. Fi nal l y, Phi l omena t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. The t oast er caught her eye. She t hought i t was t he ugl i est t hi ng she' d ever seen. She hear d a noi se f r om somewher e el se i n t he house. The ki t chen was empt y. Fi nal l y, Ki ah t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. She dut i f ul l y avoi ded t he f r i dge out of some pr i mal r espect f or i t s ot her ness. She wi shed t he booze woul d ki ck i n. The ki t chen was empt y. Fi nal l y, Phi l omena t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. Phi l omena r i f l ed t hr ough t he cabi net s f or al cohol . Di t a l ooked ar ound t he gr eat hal l . The t r i bal Af ghan r ug caught her eye. She t hought i t was t he ugl i es t t hi ng she' d ever seen. Par t of her , a l ar ger par t t han she car ed t o admi t , want ed t o smash i t . She t hought about Dar by. She want ed t hat shi r t . Not hi ng el se woul d do. Why coul dn' t s he be mor e l i ke her ? Nobody r eal l y knew how she f el t . Nobody was i n t he br eakf ast nook , so Ki ah f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at eas e. She st ar ed at t he t abl e uncompr ehendi ngl y. Thi ngs. The house was f ul l of t hi ngs. When she got ol d enough t o have a house, she' d own not hi ng. Gal e l ook ed ar ound t he l i br ar y. The mahogany wor k desk c aught her eye. She t hought i t was t he ugl i est t hi ng she' d ever seen. She was hopi ng i t woul d di st r act her , i f f or s ome br i ef moment , f r om her l i f e. Phi l omena ent er ed t he cl oset . The br oom caught her eye. She t hought i t was t he ugl i est t hi ng she' d ever seen. Thi ngs. The house was f ul l of t hi ngs. When she got ol d enough t o have a house, she' d own not hi ng. " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he gr eat hal l al l t o mysel f , " t hought Di t a. The f ami l y por t r ai t caught her eye. She t hought i t was t he ugl i es t t hi ng she' d ever seen. Thi ngs. The house was f ul l of t hi ngs. When she got ol d enough t o have a house, she' d own not hi ng. Af t er some t i me, Vi vi anna f ound her sel f i n t he ki t chen. She dut i f ul l y avoi ded t he f r i dge out of some pr i mal r espect f or i t s ot her ness. She di dn' t gi ve i t a second t hought .
Af t er some t i me, Gal e f ound her sel f i n t he f oyer . Gal e debat ed j ust l eavi ng t he house. Nobody was i n t he gr eat hal l , so Di t a f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. The t r i bal Af ghan r ug caught her eye. She t hought i t was t he ugl i est t hi ng she' d ever seen. Why she not i c ed i n t he f i r st pl ace was beyond her . Gal e br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he f oyer . Gal e debat ed j ust l eavi ng t he house. The ki t chen was empt y. Fi nal l y, Phi l omena t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. Phi l omena r i f l ed t hr ough t he cabi net s f or al cohol . She t hought about school , and how Ki ah and Vi vi anna had mor e money t han she di d. Di d t hey secr et l y l i ke her af t er al l ? I t di dn' t mat t er anyway. They wer e al ways l aughi ng wi t h t hei r per f ect f r i ends. They al ways got t hey want ed. Al ways. Nobody was i n t he bat hr oom, so Di t a f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. Di t a r el i ev ed her sel f . Vi vi anna ent er ed t he l i v i ng r oom. The next t hi ng she saw was t he f l at scr een TV, whi ch l ef t her f eel i ng di squi et ed. She was hopi ng i t woul d di st r act her , i f f or some br i ef moment , f r om her l i f e. Gal e ent er ed t he f r ont yar d. Gal e r an her f i nger s t hr ough t he wel l mani cur ed gr ass, dr eami ng of bet t er days. Phi l omena ent er ed t he cl oset . Phi l omena sur r ept i ci ousl y r ear r anged t he suppl i es. " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he gr eat hal l al l t o mysel f , " t hought Di t a. Di t a t ook of f her shoes, got a r unni ng st ar t , a sl i d i n her socks down t he sl i ck har dwood f l oor s. She t hought about school , and how Vi vi anna and Dar by had mor e money t han she di d. Why di d t hey l eave whenever she ent er ed a r oom? How coul d t hat even be possi bl e? Di d t hey secr et l y l i ke her af t er al l ? I t di dn' t mat t er anyway. They wal ked ar ound t he school l i ke t hey owned t he pl ace. Di d t hey suspect she t hought about t hem so much? Gal e l ook ed ar ound t he f r ont yar d. Gal e st ar t ed t o cl i mb t he t r ee, t hen t hought bet t er of i t .
The cl oset was empt y. Fi nal l y, Phi l omena t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. Phi l omena l ooked f or some paper t owel s. Af t er some t i me, Vi vi anna f ound her sel f i n t he l i vi ng r oom. Vi vi anna bounced on t he sof a, hopi ng t o r ecapt ur e her chi l dhood i nnocence. The ki t chen was empt y. Fi nal l y, Ki ah t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. Ki ah checked t he f r i dge f or snacks. Gal e l ook ed ar ound t he gar age. Gal e consi der ed get t i ng on t hat l awnmower and r i di ng i t out of t hi s pl ace. The mast er bedr oom was empt y. Fi nal l y, Di t a t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. She dut i f ul l y avoi ded t he ki ng si zed bed out of some pr i mal r espect f or i t s ot her ness. She di dn' t gi ve i t a second t hought . Gal e ent er ed t he gar age. Gal e peer ed i n t he car door f or some ki nd of cl ue as t o whose house t hi s was. As Ki ah ent er ed t he di ni ng r oom, she saw Vi vi anna maki ng t r oubl e. " what ' s your f avor i t e col or ?" Ki ah demanded. " pi nk, " sai d Vi vi anna. " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he cl oset al l t o mysel f , " t hought Phi l omena. Phi l omena l ooked f or some paper t owel s. She t hought about Dar by. Dar by and t hat emer al d coat of her s. She l i ked her so damn much. I t was al most t oo much t o deal wi t h. Just t hi nki ng about i t made her want t o puke. Af t er some t i me, Di t a f ound her sel f i n t he mast er bedr oom. The next t hi ng she saw was t he t eak dr ess er , whi ch l ef t her f eel i ng di squi et ed. She di dn' t gi ve i t a second t hought . Nobody was i n t he ki t c hen, so Vi vi anna f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. The f r i dge r emi nded her of her mot her . Bar f . Thi ngs. The house was f ul l of t hi ngs. When she got ol d enough t o have a house, she' d own not hi ng.
Gal e br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he gar age. Gal e peer ed i n t he car door f or some ki nd of cl ue as t o whose house t hi s was. She t hought about school , and how Dar by and Phi l omena wer e such t ot al bi t ches. Why di d t hey l eave whenever she ent er ed a r oom? Wer e t hey j eal ous of her somehow? Not l i kel y. They wer e al ways l aughi ng wi t h t hei r per f ect f r i ends. They never i nvi t ed her t o par t i es; i t was a f l uke she ended up at t hi s one. They al ways got t hey want ed. Al ways. Nobody was i n t he mast er bedr oom, so Di t a f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. She dut i f ul l y avoi ded t he t eak dr esser out of some pr i mal r espect f or i t s ot her ness. Par t of her , a l ar ger par t t han she c ar ed t o admi t , want ed t o smash i t . The gr eat hal l was empt y. Fi nal l y, Gal e t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. She not i ced t he f ami l y por t r ai t . Ki nda t acky. Why she not i ced i n t he f i r st pl ace was beyond her . Vi vi anna wal ked i nt o t he ki t chen and saw Phi l omena. Gr eat . The ki t chen was empt y. Fi nal l y, Phi l omena t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. Phi l omena r i f l ed t hr ough t he cabi net s f or al cohol . Vi vi anna l ooked ar ound t he br eak f ast nook. She not i ced t he j ui cer . Ki nda t acky. Why she not i c ed i n t he f i r st pl ace was beyond her . Ki ah l ooked ar ound t he di ni ng r oom. The di ni ng r oom t abl e r emi nded her of her mot her . Bar f . She wi shed t he booze woul d ki ck i n. Af t er some t i me, Gal e f ound her sel f i n t he gr eat hal l . Gal e st ar ed down t he hal l , whi ch seemed l onger t han i t had any r i ght t o be. Di t a encount er ed Dar by i n t he mast er bat hr oom. " What ' s t he best way t o get gum out of hai r ?" " Wai t i ng f or someone el se t o make you happy, " sai d Dar by. The ki t chen was empt y. Fi nal l y, Vi vi anna t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. Vi vi anna r i f l ed t hr ough t he cabi net s f or al cohol .
Gal e l ook ed ar ound t he gr eat hal l . Gal e t ook of f her shoes, got a r unni ng st ar t , a s l i d i n her socks down t he sl i ck har dwood f l oor s. Di t a wal ked i nt o t he mast er bedr oom and saw Dar by. Gr eat . " why woul d you want anyone t o know?" Di t a asked. Dar by f l i nched. " because i j ust dont under st and what anyone coul d ever see i n me. " The back y ar d hel d t wo i t ems of i nt er est t o Ki ah: t he gas gr i l l and Phi l omena. " What ' s your f avour i t e l i ne f r om a Soca chune?" i nqui r ed Ki ah. " ' j ust t r ust me' . " Di t a wal ked i nt o t he gr eat hal l and saw Dar by. Gr eat . " Wher e di d you get t hat coat , Dar by?" Dar by i gnor ed her . She t hought about school , and how Dar by and Gal e di dn' t have t o t r y har d t o be l i ked. They wal ked ar ound t he school l i ke t hey owned t he pl ac e. They never i nvi t ed her t o par t i es; i t was a f l uke she ended up at t hi s one. Phi l omena ent er ed t he back yar d. She dut i f ul l y avoi ded t he gas gr i l l out of some pr i mal r espect f or i t s ot her ness. She di dn' t gi ve i t a second t hought . Vi vi anna br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he di ni ng r oom. " Wow, check out t hat si l ver war e, " she sai d t o no one i n par t i cul ar . She di dn' t gi ve i t a second t hought . Dar by br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he l i br ar y. Dar by f l i pped t hr ough some books. Af t er some t i me, Ki ah f ound her sel f i n t he ki t chen. Ki ah checked t he f r i dge f or snac ks. The gr eat hal l hel d t wo i t ems of i nt er est t o Di t a: t he t r i bal Af ghan r ug and Gal e. Di t a seemed angr y. " What i s your f avour i t e cof f ee i n Vi ct or i a?" she asked. Gal e l aughed. " St ar bucks l at t es ar e good but pl ai n ol cof f ee f r om dunki n. " The ki t chen was empt y. Fi nal l y, Vi vi anna t hought , somewher e she coul d t hi nk. Vi vi anna r i f l ed t hr ough t he cabi net s f or al cohol . She t hought about Di t a. She l oved her so damn much. She want ed t hat phone. Not hi ng el se woul d do. Maybe i f t hey coul d j ust be r eal wi t h
each ot her f or once. . . Why di d she come t o t hi s st upi d house par t y i n t he f i r st pl ace? Dar by br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he f oyer . She not i ced t he chandel i er . Ki nda t acky . Thi ngs. The house was f ul l of t hi ngs. When she got ol d enough t o have a house, she' d own not hi ng. Ki ah ent er ed t he back yar d. Phi l omena was t her e, as i f wai t i ng. Phi l omena st i f f ened and began t o r ambl e, not not i ci ng Ki ah, as i f i n a f ugue st at e. " I had j ust s pent t he ni ght over at my bes t f r i end' s house and we wer e waki ng up on a gor geous spr i ng mor ni ng. She had t o go t o school , but I di dn' t , so I want ed t o go wi t h her . She l i ves l ess t han a bl ock away f r om her school , and I was j eal ous t hat she coul d wake up at 7: 30 and make i t t o school by 8. I was s havi ng my l egs wi t h her el ect r i c r azor and t hen we went i nt o her back yar d and went swi mmi ng i n t he cool wat er . " As Gal e ent er ed t he gr eat hal l , she saw Di t a maki ng t r oubl e. " What ' s t he best way t o get gum out of hai r ?" Gal e asked. " An open mi nd t owar ds l i f e. " Di t a br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n s i ght s of t he l i br ar y. She st ar ed at t he bookshel f uncompr ehendi ngl y. Par t of her , a l ar ger par t t han she car ed t o admi t , want ed t o s mash i t . " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he ki t chen al l t o mysel f , " t hought Vi vi anna. She not i ced t he kni f e s et . Ki nda t acky. She was hopi ng i t woul d di st r act her , i f f or some br i ef moment , f r om her l i f e. Dar by l ook ed ar ound t he l i vi ng r oom. Dar by t ur ned on t he TV f or a whi l e. Gal e ent er ed t he gr eat hal l . The t r i bal Af ghan r ug r emi nded her of her mot her . Bar f . Why she not i ced i n t he f i r st pl ace was beyond her . She t hought about school , and how Ki ah and Gal e had mor e money t han she di d. How coul d t hat even be possi bl e? They wer e al ways l aughi ng wi t h t hei r per f ect f r i ends. They never i nvi t ed her t o par t i es; i t was a f l uke she ended up at t hi s one. But l i f e was pr obabl y har d f or t hem t oo, i n i t s own way. I t al ways i s. " Per f ect , I ' v e got t he l i br ar y al l t o mysel f , " t hought Di t a. The bookshel f r emi nded her of her mot her . Bar f . She hear d a noi se f r om somewher e el se i n t he house. Vi vi anna br eat hed deepl y and t ook i n si ght s of t he br eakf ast nook. Vi vi anna dr ank some
j ui ce, f uck i t , r i ght ? Whose house even was t hi s? Nobody was i n t he f r ont yar d, so Dar by f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. Dar by r an her f i nger s t hr ough t he wel l mani cur ed gr ass, dr eami ng of bet t er days. Nobody was i n t he gr eat hal l , so Gal e f ound her sel f unchar act er i st i cal l y at ease. Gal e st ar ed down t he hal l , whi ch seemed l onger t han i t had any r i ght t o be. Ki ah and Phi l omena r an i nt o each ot her i n t he back yar d. " why do you st i l l t r y and t al k t o me ?" " because I ' m st i l l goi ng t o hel p ever yone and t r y my har dest no mat t er what, " sai d Phi l omena.