MISFIT. CROWN said that being in such demand for honse- parties would ...... Oc
-tober wind, fresh with sea-salt, blowing in their faces. Autumn had come early,.
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B O O K ON E
F OUN DA TIO N S
I MADAME
M O N TE DO NI C O
B O O K O NE
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MADA ME
M O N TE DO N IOO
my dear Lady C arnifex said J ohn Ashburton sipping his tea slowly and stan d ing with his thin tall figure sharply outlined “ in the bl azin g fire light she must be clever ” thi s M adame M onted onico Lady C arnifex an elegant sli ghtly faded little woman with a perfect figure and bej ew eled h and s which fl as hed as they moved o ver the tea service in front of her looked thought fully in to the fir e before she replied ” “ I suppo se she is clever, she said medita “ tiv ely bec ause she does her hair so badly “ Oh fall acy of woman ! You might con clud e then t hat I am a fool because I don t ” wear ill fitting clothes “ Lad y C arnifex shook her head I always N0,
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d that being in such deman d for house “ ” parties woul d spoil y ou she contin ued and ’ You re getting vain or you ve got so it will It s all the same ten vain or y ou ll get vain in the en d But I like y ou bett er than an y man I know all the same except when you talk too much That s on e reason I married Sir Rufus H e s so comfortably silent And — then I did thi nk that C aroline C arnifex C 0 — would make such a pretty monogram for ” my handkerchiefs J ohn Ashburton laughed He was very charming when he laughed p eople thought H is keen gray eyes t winkled behind his eye glasses and he threw back his head with a very evident enjoyment Lad y C arnifex al ways amus ed him and he had been wise enough t o let her think that it w as what she — — said an d not wh at she was that aff orded the amu sement “ ” But to go back to Madame M onted onico “ he said D o you remember Al ice in Won derlan d ? She is not untidy because she is sai
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M AD AM E
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clever nor clever because she is untidy In spite of my thinking the back of her head — which is all I h ave seen of her interesting she is heavily h andicapp ed I hear Tom tells me she is poor H er face and rumor say she has had a hi story You claim she fix es her ” hair badly Unfortunate woman ! “ I think histories are awful ly interesting myself an d I shoul d rather like to try living in a sweet little cottage with only two or three maids ; but what I could not stand would be an untidy head an d the old C ountess of M ar ” weir for my mother an d L ady C arnifex “ shivered O ne of the M arweirs of R iv ast on o k n o l u ow Sh e s s mpl y mpo ss ibl th t d i i e a y woman My mother w ould never even cal l on her S he dyes her hair an d there s been every s ort of story about her The children w ere — like her I expect all except M adame Monte .
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Mr A shburton wrinkled his brow for a mo “ — ment Lady M arweir Lady M ar weir l I ” don t seem to place her .
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Well, if youd once seen her it woul d be easy enough S in ce the old earl s death she “
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knocks about the C ontin ent or invites herself to stop with people at home and f orgets to fee the servants when she leaves Her chil dren don t get on with her O n e of her sons was ” the famous Viscount Blye “ The Viscount Blye who dr ank ? The Viscount Blye who drank He was an awful man and pr etended t o be in love with me But Madame M onted onico is a sort of famil y contr adiction She ran away with thi s Italian Leone M ontedonic o and had n o smart wedding or presents An d then when the ,
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or thr ee years old the Italian r an away in hi s t u rn and has n ever been heard of since An d she s never had an y fli rtation s or anything but has ju st economised and made Th ey say she came to C ar the girl s clothes ley Weir beca use it was cheap She certainly wouldn t h ave come if she d wanted gaiety an d the littl e l ady shook her head resignedly “ My dear lady if you w anted a pretty was t wo
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M ADAM E
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monogram on your han dkerchi efs you had to ” take Sir Rufus s country tastes too 1 “ Oh I know ! O nly it has been fearfully boring To marr y a country magnate is t o kill oneself for the world I always say just like becoming mayor of Liverpool or liv in g in the suburbs don t you know If it weren t for you and the doctor I am sure I would have to give up even dinn ers You re both celebrities even in town I think it must be awfull y nice to be famous My bo y Rufus is going to be famous I suppo se “ I haven t seen Rufus since he w as a mere ” lad How is he going to shine 1 “ Lady Carn ifex sighed H e won t shi ne Shining is too attractive and brilliant He will just do some solidl y good stupid work Rufus H e s trying t o write y ou kn ow N ow Ge o ffry went through his t wo or three Lon ’ d on seasons an d didn t get himself tan gl ed up with any girl though he is so good looking an d has w andered about the world generally an d done nothing Yet I m sure he s far ,
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more likely Rufus
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ttractively famous than
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th em may marry M adame M onte ” d onico s d aughter “ That s why I want to find out about them I haven t seen them yet since we came back from Scotl and but the boys were here all an d they made f riend s summ er y ou know M aud Fitz gerald s met her at w ith the girl the Vicar s an d she says she is simply stun ning Think of my grandchil dren hav ing old L ady M arweir for a great grandmother ! Oh ” d ear 1 “ When I had my glimp se of the mother in ” church l ast Sunday I saw the daughter too “ said John A shburton She is very han d — some but t oo tall an d about t wenty I sho u ld say Mad ame M onted onico h erself can n ot be “
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more than forty
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personali “ Oh well she sounds rath er qu eer an d she s s ome on e new at an y r ate I think I shall call -
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M ADAM E
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to di nner W e are going to have these p eople S aturday week and Maud Fitz gerald has given out For heaven s sake don t forget you re coming ! All the other men ” talk about their pigs or their chickens “ John A shburton smil ed I should like to ” take Madame M onted onico in if she comes “ ” he remarked She interests me Two other men were appro aching them from the far en d of the low country house room Both were in riding dress The one short stout with a head already whi te an d a face which win d an d rain had reddened was Sir Rufus C arnifex master of C arley Hou se a striking contrast to his pret ty r ath er faded little wife The other Dr Thomas A shburton the celebrated surgeon was a l ess inten sified imitation of his spare tall brother H is fame of the O p erating room was on e th ing ; his fame of personality was but reflected H e was — the brother of his brother th at was enough Never a man who c ared for s ociety in its worldly sense he was yet one who kept up hi s on
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intercourse an
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John A shburton was th en in his forty eighth year but he looked far older H e w as a man who se charm many p eople had tried t o an a lyse Women sighed an d said he had a p ast M en liked him to come to di nner an d said it w as a cursed sh ame h e did n ot consent to h ave re H e had never in all his life antag a fut u onised any on e an d onl y on e per son had suc — an d th a t w as a ceeded in ant agoni sin g him wom an who se judgment of him w as h arsh A life an d for who se O pin ion he had c ar ed of club s an d tea tables with enough money t o dress perfectly an d t o amuse himself n ow an d again at Monte C arlo had drift ed easily along ” “ My cynici sm he once sai d to his mother -
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Why here answered John A shburton “ openi ng his cigarett e case M ay I Lady C arnifex ? Thanks so much The truth is that our lady here h as discovered M adame M onted on ico an d th at M aud F itzgerald has very thoughtfully given out for S aturday w eek You dear Tom are n ot asked by the way I have my invitation safe in my en m n t a e e book And if m y ho t m rci s e s s i s e g g full y inclined she will let me take Madame ” M onted onico in to di nner “ I don t know why the deuce you shoul d call on h er C arrie much l ess as k her to d inner said Sir Rufu s cro ssly Lady C amifex shook her head “ I v e been a martyr to y ou an d the boys “ ” always Rufus she said Here they w an t me to make friends with the girl an d her mother an d you don t I can t help it if they ar e queer Mr A shburton says the woman ,
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doesn t make up I m sure I don t know why ” you re so unreasonable ’
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M ADAM E
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nce I know her broke in the doctor I spent my summ er holid ays her e thi s year y ou see when you p eopl e w ere all takin g cures for di seases you have n ot got S he consulted me professionally first and I have come t o kn ow her quite well “ ” D oes she m ake up I asked L ady C arni fex cautiously Dr Ashburton smiled My dear Lady C arnifex she cares far less about her appear ance than the simplest vill ager in C arley Weir She is a very miserabl e woman except for her daughter Remember that her life has been a mo st tr agic failure No, she do es not make ,
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just that kind that alw ays d o ; an d what s worse they succeed in making men think they don t At any rate I shall ask her to di nner in spite of Rufu s an d her untidiness It s really fearful ly bad form and everything It is
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have a past ” bad form
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I am not generally considered
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Well sai d L ady C arnifex dubiously you didn t care much about her or you woul dn t “
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dmit that you had a past at all I think life s awfully queer my self It s so full of contr a dictions So many p eople look like A gamem non or Anchises or who ever it was led her father around the world for so many years in Greek hi story an d w as s o fearfully tr agic an d underneath they r e h aving the silliest flirtatious an d always changing their cooks Then so many women spend thou sands on their clothes an d al ways look as if they dressed in the left overs of a summer sale An d the people whom you think tal k mo st ” really s ay least “ I don t see what on earth talking is then grumbled Sir Rufus sl eepily ” C lever talkin g said Dr A shburton pick “ ing up his crop is I should say the knack of making p eopl e surpri sed when you say ” s omething st upid ’
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And the cleverest talking I sho uld say — his brother retorted smiling is listenin g “
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What Tom are the horses here ? Well good by dear lady Your te a s the best I know Chinese isn t it ? “ Carley will be terribly stupid till you come “ ” I again gloomil y said L ady C arni fex ” wonder why you are so amusing ? ” “ For heaven s sake don t call me funny ! “ protest ed J ohn hastily That is the l ast in ,
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ult to a self respecting man I m not really amu sing L ady C arnifex There s a great deal in reputation you know “ Kn ow ? I should think I did ! E very on e thinks my hair is naturally w avy an d on the s tr ength of that I only have it curled twic e a ” week ! Sir Rufus saw them ofl from the doorw ay The t wo brothers mounted with a biting C c tober wind fresh with sea salt blowing in their faces Autumn had come early and the evenings were apt to be cold an d rai ny “ ” Gad it s blowing on the moor l exclaimed ’
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Sir Rufus strikin g the doctor s ho rse with hi s “ rough p alm Nice horses of yours doct or “ ”— u o By the w ay he lowered his v oiw y kn ow this woman better than any on e el se here — thi s Madame what s her name I mean C an C arrie really call on her do you think ? Is — she is she all right ? The doct or straightened in his saddl e an d looked down into the bluff face beside him ” “ “ All right ? he said Oh I see Yes my dear fellow she s all right But she won t ’
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dine with you Good night The brothers w ere silent until they p assed the lodge gate s of C arl ey House an d struck out on the long fl at stretch of moorl and Here the mi st ch anged into a drivin g rain an d the wind beat h eavily against them The gray to
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darkn ess grew an d the mystery of a stormy night fell over the moor Once John A shbur t on drew rein to pull his coll ar about his ear s an d to swear in his gentl e voice, at hi s tailor s cuttin g in the act ,
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W e shall have blustering weather the doctor shortly “
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I came down to be bored my dear Tom Don t try to arrange croquet parties for me an d apologi se for the weather I m too old Besides which there is alw ays C arrie ,
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C arnifex She is one of th e mo st enchantin g people I know I tried to write a book once wi th her c ontr adict ion s li ttl e character f or my .
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ole materi al “ Her vi ew of things is c erta amu sing i t ted the doctor a dm “ I often wonder if fate will some d ay be cruel enough to make her reali se how funny She h as the mo st she is an d so spoil it all remarkable in stin ct for hi tting nails on their heads You an d I work around to a point by reason an d sen se an d she jumps gaily over ter rible sp aces of illogicity an d l ands com s
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Madame M onted oni co The glimpse of her which I got w as an o asis in the desert of C ar .
ley
her
Weir church S he is
I want
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know more of
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T he
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doctor sighed It is a tragic case J ack E very on e in the village has guessed the state of things so I m tel lin g you no secret Three month s ago when I came down as usual I found this woman established in a cot tage at C arl ey W eir O ne d ay she met me in th e village an d as ked me frankly if I were Dr A shburton S he told me her n ame and said I had it in my power to rend er her a great — servic e simply thi s : she wi shed me to giv e her a professional opinion as to how long she ” H e c ov could live S he has a fatal di sease er ed his eyes with his h and s f or a moment “ I went to see her an d examined h er She can n ot po ssibly l a st mor e than fiv e or six — month s There is an d has been an d God ~ help her will be t err ible suffering which In all my pr ofes she is bearing mo st nobly ,
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She is fiery
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passionate an d uncontrolled now She will never make iron but she may mold herself into tempered steel “ How intelligent it would be of chance to make one of tho se Carnifex boys fall in love ” with her ! said John p ensively If they were much together during the summer, it ” may not be immssible ’ “ The doctor smiled But I m afraid it is Rufu s seem s to bore her as things look now — by far the more likely on e sti ff an d G eo ff ry — is on t erms of the mo st healthy of the two ” friendshi p with her “ A friendship between a young man as good lookin g as every on e says Geofi r y Car n ifex is an d a hand s ome girl in a rom antic ,
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po sition is abnormal if it is healthy my dear fellow Oh I kno w the symptoms Wait I will tell you They call each other by their first n ames h ave som e speci al hobby in com mon an d are hilariously fran k about their ” relationship “ E xactly l ,
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Heaven help them then poor chi ldren O n e of them will fall helplessly in lov e and t he other won t respond That is on e of the — f ew states in life which makes me kick d e S pite my gray hair s an d my wi sdom of years which tells me that the kicking doesn t even dent fate s obstinacy an d only exhausts me It is such a lopsid ed badl y b alanc ed undi g The on e who loves gives so n ified situation pitifully much an d receives so pitifully little ; an d the other c an t h elp looking superciliou s ” if it s a woman or caddish if it s a man “ If Leonida M onted oni c o said Dr A sh “ burton slowly should fall in love in the ” wrong quarter it would be dangerous They were comin g to the first houses of C ar ley Weir Lights t winkled blurred an d yel low through the rain an d a sense of cheer crept out into the desolate darkness “ ” There w ent on the doctor after a mo ’ ment s pause pointing with his whi p to a shaft of light a littl e above the long village street “ is their house It overlooks the ocean you ,
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the
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Friends always help The doctor drew rein suddenly in the d ar k “ ness I want to know how she is sleeping by the w ay Turn off to the right J ack an d w e will stop there f or a mom ent now Sh e ” will not mind my bringing you It w as characteri stic of John A shburton that he smoothed his rumpled hair an d wiped the damp carefully from hi s spotless li nen as they stood in the tiny porch of C arley Weir see
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cottage O n e could see vaguely that the house overlooked an exten sive vi ew of the village just below it an d of the moor an d sea beyond A garden lay to on e side and on e smelt .
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M ADAM E
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In response to the doctor s knock the do or was op en ed by a neat little maid an d they made their way into the narrow hall The ’
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ladies w ere in the sitting room she said ; an d she ushered them in at once It w as the room of the ordinary E nglish cot tage long and low wi th heavy beams an d prettily wainscoted wall s An indefinable at mosphere of individualit y and tas te hung about it There were n o accompani ments of invalidi sm J ohn A shburton quickly noticed ; n o pillow s no scent bottles n o superfluous shawl s Neither in the woman in the low ch air by the fireside were ther e outward signs of — su fferin g ; but only an d it was an in d efin able — a tmo s phere too of a great p ain conqu ered C atherin e M onted onico w as one of those wom en whom once h aving known on e never for gets She lived herself into her companions an d h er surroundin gs to s uch a degree th at her indi viduality w as almo st ineffaceable Never beautiful her face yet had the beauty of those who have lived an d liv ed nobly -
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There w as too in her eyes and in the firm lines of her chin the strength of those who have fought down the past having n o hope for the future John Ashburton was a man who obser v ed quickly an d he saw at once that — here w as a woman difi erent from th e rest S he held out h er hand to both men an d spok e, in a v oice which w as cold an d w ell modulated choo sing her word s carefully an d slowly It was p erh ap s the only outward sign in her that her whole life had been a victory of self control Then she turned to the oth er side of the fir epl ac e from which she sat “ “ ” Mr Ashburt on she said whi le I talk with your brother L eonida can make fri ends ” with you This is my daughter ,
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M ADA M E M O NTE DO N IC O
however that she was mar v elously hand s ome H er straight lithe figure carri ed a s mall head full of delicate S pirit Her hair w as soft an d glo ssy ; her skin almo st show ed t he blue vein s beneath S h e w as all trembling ner v ous energy like a beautiful hor se set to ru n the rac e of life S he w as dressed very s imply in pure whi te save f or a little ribbon of p ale blue velvet ti ed about her slim young see,
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How do you do ? she began ner v ously Mother lik es the sofa so perhap s you will You have only just come down s it by me here to Devon haven t you? I saw you in the vil ” l age the other d ay but you didn t see me Mr A shburton k ept his keen smiling eyes .
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upon her as he seated hi mself an d h eard hi s brother an d M adame M onted on ico begin to ,
talk in low tones at the other en d of the room “ ” “ Did you see me ? he remarked I am .
very sorry that I mi ssed seeing you She gl anced at him for a moment
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25
an d
then
M ISFIT
T HE she
began pearing
laugh
to
Her
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CRO WN
hyness
s
was disap
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“
D o you know
from where I
saw
o u y
she
“
k d From the gutter ! I found a little boy sailing a toy boat there an d I stopped to try to sail on e too O nly think if I had fir st ” — met you in the gutter ! Again her laugh rang out an infectious m erry laugh whi ch echoed itself in her eyes ” “ I am rather u sed to the gutter myself said John A shburton smilin g back at her “ S ome of the nicest people I know li v e there ” T ell me wh at is your book ? “ Leoni da grew grave suddenly I am read ” “ It is the ing it to mother she explained — sh e hesi V ie de J ésus by Renan Perhap s “ — p erhaps you don t tated ” “ Oh yes I do he returned taking the vol “ ume from her So you an d your mother read ” these books together do you? “ Yes w e read tog ether all th e time mother ” an d I H er smile was v er y tender a s she looked over to the other en d of the room as e
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Life !
v y one isn t cyni cal she obj ected “ The cup of li fe mo st H e laughed shortly wise young lady is bitter to some of us sweet to others Say on e has drained a lit tle of its contents an d something sour creep s in ; the r emainder is all p ermeated an d on e must try not t o make too wry a face in finishi ng it ” That is all She turned away an d looked in to the fire S o it s just a chance whether the bitter or the ” sw eet is th e s tronger ? “ ” Just a chance Don t you think though that the sweet would have a rather bett er ch ance if we looked for it an d expected it and forgot about the ” bitter ? John Ashburton did not answer Leoni da dr ew her chair near er his an d dropped her voice to its confi denti al tone “
B ut
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“
I ll
tell you why it expl ained eagerly ’
m s to me po ssible sh e “ N ow I m really fright
see
fond of sugar
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ll u f y
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28
whenever
I
have
to
M ADAM E
M O NT E DO N ICO
take an espec ially nasty medicine I always put a pi ece of sugar in front of me an d in thin k ing how good it s going to be I almo st forget ” th e bad tas te of the medicin e There was another pause Then John shook h im self a little “ ” D o you li ke walking ? he asked suddenly “ ” Oh I simply adore it ! said Leoni da en thusiastically forgett ing cynicism in a flash “ The w alks here are t oo lovely D o you know ” them ? ,
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N ot well I was about to ask you to pilot ” me on some of them Leoni da sprang up an d ru shed acro ss the room ” “ “ Mother may I ? she cried M ay I go to w alk with Mr A shburton The doctor had ri sen to go an d he slipp ed his h and into the girl s an d drew her t o him .
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with his quiet smile Madame M onted onico looked thoughtfully at John A shburt on as she .
gave hi m her hand “ Do you really want .
her ?
29
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id
she sa
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It is
M ISFIT
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very ure ;
kin d
CRO WN
of you an d she will but d o not let her tire you
o g
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with pleas
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John smiled ” he She will not tire me your d aughter “ replied ; she interests me ” “ She is very young said C atherine Monte “ At present her ideas are a d onico slowly But in a certain set of itali ci sed enthusia sm s ” way she is n ot immature She will d evelop “ ” W e all develop until the last madame She smiled her grave quiet smil e “ And there is never an y last with develop ” m ent she said .
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A few moment s an d the brother s were out in They rode on through the dark night again the village toward the doctor s hou se in si lence John Ashburton w as thin kin g deeply of the short scene in the cottage behind them “ ” “ Life he remarked suddenly is very ful l ” of contr asts ,
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Yes
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30
M A DAM E M O NT E D ON IC O
For in stance C arrie C arni fex an d that ” w oman The other brother h alf turned in his sad dl e, an d smil ed “ And for instance again you an d Leonida ” J ack he said ,
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CO N TRASTS
T HE
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view was concerned had come from in diff er ence in his youth an d was fas t merging into laziness in hi s mi ddle age H e smiled carelessly as he open ed the gate of M adame M on ted on ic o s garden a few day s a fter hi s introduction to her Perhap s the very contradiction of his taking a girl of nine teen to walk appeal ed to him The smile however w as cau sed by his own vexation at seeing two horses held at the g ate by th e C a r n ifex groom Some on e w as in the field be fore him He entered the cottage sitting room bright with the brilliant mo rning sunshine Madame M on ted on ic o was seated at her d esk writing B eside her resting on e h and on the tabl e an d fin gering his cap nervou sly with the other stood Rufu s C a rnifex elder s on an d h eir t o whom on e d ay woul d devolve the gr eat pr0 p Ashburton had not er ty of C arley Hou se seen young Rufu s since s ome year s before when h e had been a pal e sickly lad N ow at twenty eight he was much unch an ged Too ,
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36
CON TRA S TS s
mall
w hi ch
in
s at u e,
t
r
with
went against
— handsome d ark
an air of
him, h is
inconsequence
face w as
e t y
very
thoughtful in expression s en sitive in it s outlines but with a seriousness which somehow failed to be interesting an d degenerated into being cro s s Madame M on ted on ico greeted her n ew vi si t or an d as ked leave to fini sh the note she was writing “ It is for Mr C arnifex t o take to C arley ” “ House she expl ained Leoni da an d Mr Geo ff ry have gone into our meadow back ” here to do s ome veterinary work John A shburton shook hands with Rufu s “ ” I h ave not seen you for a long time he said moving courteou sly away from the wri ting table in order to let Madame M onted o “ ” ni co be undisturbed How are you? “ I am quite well thank you Mr A shbur — ton far stronger than I used t o be “ ” An d your broth er ? “ Geo ff ry is always well H e will be here — in a moment his horse is waiting with mine an d
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lways well I think he has all a strong m an s mi sunderstanding an d in t oler ” ance of illness Rufu s was unmi stakably nervous an d pre occupi ed H e kept hi s eyes fix ed on a win dow of the room which looked out over the meadow of which Madame M onted oni co had Yes, he is
a
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just S poken
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often seen the strongest men ” mo st tender called Madame M onted on ic o from her desk as her pen fl ew on Rufus t urned from the window with an ev i dent eff ort “ Yes Madame M ont ed onic o that is quite t rue But I don t think th at any on e who h as n ot act ually su ff ered phy sically can r eally un “
Yet I have ,
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d er st an d
p ain
O ne
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must h ave
the
mart in
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order to have the symp athy H e sighed “ How ever Mr A shburton I must tell you of a n ew inter est th at has l ately come to me I am writing a book “ Ah that is interesting ! And when is it to ” app ear I ”
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CON TRA S T S Rufus smil ed Well you see the publica ti on will be a comparatively secondary matter T he point is the labor an d research My oh i t r f ec s t prov t h r trogr ss ion mod e n o e e e e o j Christi anity The amount of study involved is of course immen se an d h as absorbed me ” almo st more than the actual wri ting “ ” It must indeed be tremendou s responded John politely He was tr yin g not to yawn an d wond ering why L eonid a an d Geofi ry “ were so long Yes I believe your mother did menti on the fact of your becoming literary ” when I l ast saw her “ My people are not altogether in touch with me mentally I am sorry t o say They don t seem t o under stand th e wonderful fascin ati on You see it is n ot vulgarly speak of study ing that I am bec omin g literary I am sim — J ply trying to prov a Madame M on ted on ico came forward at that moment with her letter in her hand Po ssibly !
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caught the expression of John Ashburton s face for she interrupted Rufu s ruthlessly
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M ISFIT
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Here is the note Mr Carnifex an d I am very peni tent for having kept you waitin g ,
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Please tell your mother how
s
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orry
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— J O hn
m
a
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Lady Carnifex she t u rned to very kindly sent to ask me to din e with her but I am unabl e t ogo anywhere ju st now Ah here ” come your brother an d Leonida There was a sound of an O pening door a ring of laughter a heavy tread an d a light on e an d Leonida an d her comp anion entered th e room A greater contrast to his elder brother th an Geofi ry C arnifex could scarcely be im agined Physically he was the mo st superb type of — An glo Saxon a good six foot four tremeu d ously bro ad with tow colored hair an d frank blue eyes H e had played every conceivabl e game an d won it ; he had ridden from hi s babyhood At E ton he had only been les s popular than at O xford His face had none O f the sensitiveness of Rufus s ; he w as built “
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tota lly diff erent cl ay Honesty an d a good h eart were synonymou s with Geofi ry s small of
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40
CON TRA S T S big well shap ed hands had a The pride of hi s way O f moving
ction ; quick sure
his
father
mother
est a
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t yed unspoiled
he h ad
s a
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protected by the all permeatin g sunnin ess of a h appy nat ure If but a few p eople had loved him he might have tr ied to exerci se hi s charm an d s o tainted it A s it w as his un iversal popularity seemed to him but a phase of the — general big heartedness O f the world a phase as n at ur al as the fresh air an d the sun shi e n Yet G eo ff ry John A shburton remembered hearing had not been without his experiences H e w as n ot simply a strong undeveloped an i mal He had traveled wid ely hunted for big game in Africa helped on e or two men out of tight pl aces had mild flirta tio us with sev eral prett y girl s P erhaps it was almo st d an geron s that he had never made an enemy Yet gr eat an d small alike never looked into those clear blue eyes without instinctively feel ing th at this was a gentleman with clean hands an d un sullied honor -
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L eonida tall as she w as was not tall be s ide him The wind had r uflied her hair a little an d there w as a cl ear pink in her cheeks ,
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John saw th at she wore her simple serge dress with a knack of bien mis e té whi ch belongs only to tho se with L atin blood He noticed again too the littl e lin e O f blue velvet about her thro at She greeted him with a touch of shyn ess “ Yes indeed it is very kind of you to r e member our walk I sh all be ready as s oon — — in a moment that is if mother wi ll let as me She caught suddenly what Geofi ry “ Oh mother if w as sayin g t o her mother ! a o h ! e o o could puppy s d rling u s t H t ee e y -
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And Mr C arnifex has fitted the ni cest little ” Splint t o his leg M adame M on ted onic o smil ed at John .
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Leoni da found a for saken dog in the village yesterday an d it app ears that his leg w as broken I did n ot know we had a veterinary ” at C arley Weir Geo ff ry grew red an d laughed frankly ,
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M ISFIT
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very well indeed thank you ,
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A r e you r eady,
Geofi ry
A moment later the t wo brothers galloped Rufu s riding with a aw ay in the sun shi ne preci se care Geofi ry singing the l atest music hall song with his cap O ff an d the wind blow ing through hi s yellow hair John A shburton an d Madame M onted on ic o watched them from the garden gate while they waited for Leonida to fetch her hat “ ” Wh at a contrast tho se t wo ar e ! said M a dame M onted on ico thoughtfully “ Yes An d as there will always be a c on ” trast there will always be a compari s on “ An d th ere being a comp ari son R ufus is su r e t o su ff er Yet he has fin e points M r Ashburton His lack of physical stren gth seems t o have given hi m an almo s t feminin e — I I myself am n ot very w ell j ust symp athy n ow ; an d there is no on e who is kind er or more under standing than Rufu s C arn ifex about sp a ring me sm all fatigues an d brin gin g — me small comforts H e interests me but I ,
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CON TRA S T S like Geo ff ry They have been here all sum mer you see whi le their mother an d father were away ; an d L eoni da has made friends with them I have not yet met Lady C ar .
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n ifex “
I
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m s orry
a
hoped in
to
u o y
have
the
will not din e there I pleasure of ta king you .
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Madame M onted on ico smi led a little sadly as She turned to L eonida w h o w as appro ach ing from the cottage
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It is
not a case of will not but can n ot “ sh e r esponded Leonida dear don t call on ” Mr A shburton s kindness too long ,
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I wonder said Leonida meditatively as sh e an d John p au sed at the en d O f the vill age “ ” str eet what sort of things you like best ? “ John laughed M y principle is never to go to extremes on e way or the other E xcept chipp ed b eef which I love an d garden parties ” which I abhor my emotion s are very no rmal “ I am going to take you by a p ath right ,
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M ISFIT
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cro ss the moor then O n e can see the ocean beyond an d if y ou care for view s you can make out Porlock B ay from the top of that far hill W hy don t you like garden p arties ? ” I think they are too lovely “ So did I when I was your age my dear young lady It is all point of vi ew you know For instance you can wear a becoming h at an d amu se your self with tanta li sing all the young men of the neighborhood while I have a
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to cart food around an d keep up a somewh at thr eadbare reputation for charm And that is ” very wearing Leonida glanced at him from under her long ” “ l ashes Do you think I have charm ? she a sked suddenly “ ” Yes said John A shburton smiling a lit “ I do But there are t wo sort s tle p ensively Yours is young an d lives in th e of ch arm .
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would be spoiled by self con Mine is S O mature th at it is fast sciousn ess becomi ng stale It lives on the p ast, an d n eeds ,
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46
CON TRA S T S the
mo st careful handl ing t o make it work at all All things are mere matters of comp ari son you see I hope you have brought a p en cil an d paper to wr ite out the words of wi sdom ” I am giving vent to They were silent for a minute as they trudged along “ What subj ects d o you talk mo st c onfiden ” t ially about ? as ked Leo nida presently “ John thought for a moment Tooth aches Whenever I Sit next a woman at dinner to whom I feel inexplicably drawn I kn ow at once that She has had the p eculiar fo rm O f toothache from whi ch I suffer Some d ay I mean to write a seri es of articles in collabo ration with my best friends called Tooth to Tooth T alks T ell me what subj ects touch ” your innermo st heart mo st nearly ? “ I think love is the mo st interesting thi ng “ ” in th e world said Leonida gravely I mean .
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what it makes p eople d o an d what it makes ’ them sufi er I like to read about it but not ,
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47
M ISFIT
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to talk about it It is always like touching a beautiful piece of clean lin en with di rty hands ” isn t it ? .
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think I agree with you there I don t hold that familiarity breeds contempt ’ Shutting oneself up in one s mental Sh ell is an inevitable s tag e with all of us yet I believe it is a harmful one And love lasts such a little while th at I thin k it is a good pl an to ’ blow about it as the small boys say while on e h as it I know no more in spiring Sight th an a young man and woman on the t op of a ’ Putney bus on Sunday afternoon gazing rapt urously at each other and radiating the ” ban ns of their approaching nuptial s “ Leonida l aughed When are you seriou s ? Sh e asked “ Very seldom O n e invariably bores other p eople an d oneself too when on e is seriou s It is almo st as bad as being invari ably funny Then there is a great deal in knowing one s bent For instance it do es n ot become me t o be learned an d it do es become Rufu s C arni I do
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48
CON TRA S T S fex
He looked
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at
her Sharply
“ .
u o y
Do
see ?
H er face grew gr ave
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q
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But don t you give ’
work more w eight than that of a mere ” “ I do fad ? She said thoughtfully I quite admit that I don t even begin to understand what he is trying to prove ; but the amount he has accompli shed is really wonderful While mo st men in his po sition would be idling away their time an d their money Rufus ’
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t rted out with a splendi d purpose to make his mind worth s omething I admire what he is doing very much “ The world s judgment my dear young lady is harder than yours It will not pass sentence so much on what he do es as on th e w ay he does it ; it will n ot read his book but it will say that writing h as made him unin h as
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Well
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rath er interesting
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me “ I beg leave to di ff er Rufu s will never be ” interesting until he learns how to be Silly
all
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49
T HE
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Thi s time Leonida acquiesced Y es I s ometimes wish he would be more fooli sh like Geo ff ry But serious or fooli sh they are ’ ” awfully nice both of th em aren t they ? John cut at a t uft of late h eather with his “ stick The art of being silly is a great t al ” “ he ob served It is also a clo ak which en t covers a multitude of secrets P ersonally I — do n ot po ssess it except unconsciously when I am flattering myself that I am being inter Intentional S illiness is a tal ent ju st as esting ” much as unintentional S illiness is a bore “ But I think gravity is just as beautiful in its w ay said L eonida smiling “ Gravity is t o me like a winter I don t — landscape on e of tho se things which I alway s have t o remind myself t o admi re For in — r stanc e we a e becoming gr ave n ow let us be ” Silly 1 .
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moment I saw that my do ll was st uff ed with sawdu st L eonida stopped short and looked at him “ ” I think She observ ed Slowly su spiciously “ th at you are being silly now John burst out l aughing ” “ he You are a very clever young woman .
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talked to him long about her mother that morning an d he reali sed how deep the S he
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t mp of Catherine M on ted on ico s personality was on that young life H er mother had nev er been strong Leonida admitted a littl e wist fully S he looked very delicate n ow did she n ot ? John winc ed an d w as silent “ ” I feel sure though Leonida continued with the suspicion of a quiver in her voice “ that She will improve here The air is s o s pl endid ; an d your broth er h as been S O kind She tri es t o d o t oo much that is on e troubl e S he will n ot let me t ake a S ingle burden o fi her Shoulder s S he says it will all come s oon ’
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CONTRA STS ”
nough Did you ever see any S he sighed on e quite like my mother Mr Ashburton “ N s aid John gently And she was S O beautiful until just a few years ago ! B efore her hair turned gray you — kn ow But her eyes an d her smi le th ey have never changed She has the loveliest smil e in the world I think It is always a little gr av er e
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than other people s smiles an d makes on e feel that She has had less t o smile at than mo st of ” the world John in stin ctively tried t o change the sub ’
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hope you an d your mother will like Lady ” “ Carnifex he said S he is a charming litt le woman an d very good hearted Sir Rufus t oo is quite a typ e Wh at a handsome fellow ” Geo ff ry has grown to be ! H e h ad Slipped the remark in adroitly but the color n ever wavered on her face as she an swered “ O h Geo ffry is splendid ! There is nothi ng I
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can t do An d then he is such a healthy happy pers on I do wish that in a way ” Rufus were more like him “ Rufus seems to make the mistake of think ” ing th at people want t o be instr ucted said “ John Some d ay when he has really lived he will realise that p eople only want to be ” amu sed “ H e may not amuse us repeated L eonida “ obstinately but hi s life will be worth more than ours all the same He is going t o d o ” good work some day Rufus She smiled “ But his beli ef s ar e curiou s H e sudd enly is trying t o convert me to hi s w ay of thinking an d lend s me the mo st gruesome thing s t o read Religion is the main point of life to ” him he
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John l augh ed in his t urn Why do es he n ot l earn that our r eligion do es n ot make our lives but that our lives m ake our relig .
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know said Leonida eagerly That is ju st wh at mother says She thinks that by ,
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54
CONTRA STS
Sp ending so much time defin ing religion an d provin g unlikely things t o be humanly pos sible w e limit faith to s omething easily under stood an d mort al “ Do you remember the preface of your V ie d e J ésu s ? Renan says th at r eligion is fal se when it tries t o define an d true when it affirms Youhav e quite bru shed up my curio sity about such books by the w ay I Shall read s ome of them whil e I am l oafi n g down here “ ” Did you come to lo af ? asked Leonida gaily “ Lo afin g is the consequence but n ot the cau se I w as moved to come by a frantic de Sire to get away from house p arties When r o u a my will und r t nd h much e a e o u s a w e o y g y agony a w eek en d may contain O ne s ho stess is invariably worried for fear on e is bored an d on e is inva ri ably worri ed for fear on e s ho stess will catch on t o the fact that on e only came t o b e polite But I have a cipher with a fri end of min e at h is club in town an d when ev er I wire askin g h ow stocks ar e he under ,
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t nds that I can bear matters n o longer an d telegraphs me in ret urn that my entire income is in imminent peril an d that I must return to town at once Thi s scheme originated in my younger days when I was going too far in s a
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innocent fli rtation s and wanted to pretend t o anxiou s mother s that I w as threate n ed with poverty an d was n ot an eligible match It has ” saved me m any times “ I should like to go about an d see the ” world said Leonida thoughtfully “ It is a great schoolroom my dear young l ady W e all start out thinkin g we will reform .
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it an d w e en d in trying to keep it from p er verting us Personally I have found it very amu sing If on e do es n ot bu ffet fate or howl t oo loudly when one s sug ar plum s are taken aw ay on e can get on ver y well Don t expect t oo much of life R ath er exp ect nothing an d be surpri sed an d grateful f or wh at you ,
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When they reached home Leonida held h er h and at th e garden gate .
56
out
CONTRASTS don t think I agree with you but I like ” you She said smiling at him a little shyly “ John Ashburton laughed For h eaven s sake let us take care alw ays to disagree th en ! C ontradiction is the basi s of friendship I ,
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57
LE
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CAT HE RIN E M O N TE DO N IC O o ften wondered in tho se clear bright early winter days why life did n ot seem more cruel to her Sto rm to ssed an d t urbulent as the years had been She seem ed to have found her moorin gs now in a quiet h arbor which she felt in stinctively to be the Great Haven though She could not e r h t e S hor th t bound it H e phy s ic a l s t a ee e y su ff ering w as comp ar atively Simpl e to bear ; the rest was harder The p assion of her whole life had t urned hungrily to L eonida It was deep enough to enable her to face even the p arting with the girl an d the planning cease lessly for the inevitable loneliness of her fu But in on e w ay the mother was a t ure coward She could n ot see Leonida suff er ; d ay by d ay an d She blindly grop ed along ,
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ncouraging Leoni da s belief in her improve ment an d clo sing her tired eyes to the fact — that She was doing the girl an d her woman — hood an injusti ce ’
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been one of tho se delicate soul s who sta rt out in life with high sta ndards only to see th em continually degraded Her mother an d her home h ad brui sed her ideal s until they were warp ed enough to center themselves in Leone M on ted on ico If after the crash of her whol e life C atherine M ar weir h ad gone on loving him an d excusing him the tragedy would have been less But she saw his true nat ure fin ally an d that involved her seein g In the l ast l etter she had her own mi stake ever written her hu sb and S he h ad told him s o “ Do n ot imagin e that I sh all S pen d my life ” “ I know t oo w ell h ow regr ettin g she wrote full of work an d healin g the w orld is to fold my han ds an d bemo an my own mi stakes I Shall alw ays be sorry but I shall n ever fl agel ” l ate myself into rem or se R emember th at ! S he took her stand and lived up t o it with S he had
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L EON IDA GR OW S UP the
pirit of her race an d the nobility of nature But what She could neither deny S
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mother had been the inten se weariness of life — that had overcome her a weariness which had made her face some month s before the decree of her fatal illness with comparative calm E ven her passionate adoration of Leo n id a burned l ow before the cl ear light of th e r s n e u r t p c b for c liv liv e a a e e h e e o t e e e a W g very easily but we can never cure the wear The an d tear of years upon our vita lity nicest mechanism of th e human soul can be replaced onl y by the M as ter H and Her menta l activity had come to her as a great balm Until Leonida was old enough to be a compani on to her sh e had lived in her book s Too much so perhaps She fre quently felt now that she had lo st the kn ack of putting herself in touch with people ; an d that especially for the girl s sake was wrong She mad e the eff ort finally of driving over to C arley Hou se with Leonida to ret urn Lady C arnifex s vi sit ; an d sh e asked the t wo A sh s
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burtons frequently to the cott age an d strove to catch as much of the fleeting winter sun shine as po ssibl e an d store it in Leo nida s dark eyes John Ashburton telegraphed from C arley Weir in November and declin ed mo s t of hi s house parties He in formed every on e that his brother who was to stop in D evon until w as really t oo after Chri stm as that year crabbed to be left alone H e often rode over to tea with Lady C arni fex hunted three days of the week with Geo ff ry an d S pent his even ing s with Madame M on tedon ico an d Leonida ,
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quite clear th at h e was turnin g s ome thin g over in his min d “ A r e you considerin g writing a b ook my ” dear Jack ? the doctor asked him on e eveni n g glancin g over his new spaper at his bro ther “ ” You are so grave “ He l aughed as h e lit his pipe N o ; I am on ly co n sidering whether I can put the finish ing touch to a book I h ave more th an h alf ” written which will make it worth readin g It w as
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L EON IDA GR OW S UP bright cold Sun day ju st before Christ mas John walked home from church with Madame M on ted on ico H e noted careful ly th at her step s were short an d uncertain an d that there was a curious gray tin ge in her cheeks as she p au sed half w ay up the hill l ly out to sea rest side an d looked thoughtfu in g her arm s on th e low stone wall which bound the road “ ” “ I must rest a mom ent S he said I fin d I ” am n ot s o strong as I w as Suddenl y in th at moment John Ashburton felt him self almo st awe stricken by the Sheer invin cible nerve with which thi s woman faced th e fut ure Did S he know what s ort of a death fore her what terribl e things every d ay was be brought nearer to her ? ’ S he S poke again after a moment s S ilence rned an d there was a smil e in her eyes as she tu them to him “ “ ” I often thi nk she resumed how curi ously repl et e with life the world seem s when w e suddenl y fin d our days numb ered E very O ne
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morning now the sea looks to me almo st pain fully blue an d the sun almo st daz zlingly golden B eauty is never more infin ite than when we are just about to O pen our childish rer beauty It seems a eyes on a far mat u ” str ange p aradox It was the first tim e that she had act ually mentioned her condition to him an d unlike mo st men his certain feminine quality saved him from a p ainful shrinking from the subj ect “ When on e is going with such a faith and ” conviction as your s he ret urned thought fully fingerin g her prayer book as it lay on “ w e w ho stay behind the w all bet ween th em ” for a few hours longer can but envy you Catherine M on ted onico s eyes darken ed a “ I h ave come to the d ark p art of the little ” — ro ad the part we must all d o al one She “ Seein g my own soul face to face I said have said to myself that if my faith were in truth small an d of little scope at l east I be lieve wh at I do believe with all my heart I h ave lived it i nto my life I am testing it in ,
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know women but not woman she said slowly “ Ther e are things in some of us which you do not admit because you have never seen — them things of which Leonida is cap able an d which are p ast your comprehen sion S he will be moved all her life by generous high minded and perhaps very unwise impulses “ — — I do I do no She p au sed for a moment not want cheap cynici sm to be on e of tho se impul ses “ Perhap s I am cynical because I have seen ” too much of life “ I should rather say my frien d th at you are cynic al becau se you h ave n ever liv ed “ ” enough D o you forget that She smil ed I u sed to know Alice Trehern e But John Ashburton when all w as said an d don e w as a very cl ever man an d he carri ed himself well n ow “ ” Alice Alice with the brow n h air ? he r e “ Surely I don t f orget it t urn ed lightly A n d h ow desp erately in love with her I w as ! I wish you could have seen the glimpse I had ,
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68
L EONIDA GR OW S UP her
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in Paris some fiv e or six years ago S he had dyed her h air a brilli ant yellow and had not been able to aff ord to buy a fringe to match Thus do our Sp anish castl es crum ,
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Why di d you never marry her ? asked C atherine M onted onico suddenly “ I had the honor of being refused at her ” hands dear madame She leaned forward an d began to draw pat tern s ou the wall with her bl ack gloved hand “ Alice Treherne was too good for you Mr “ ” In Spite of her hai r Ashburton She said an d her middle aged weight She holds a whole family t ogether an d struggles nobly to keep a dimin utive pot boilin g S he was too good for e a m e e e a you r going t o h t e v r ft r u n a o a d e y w ard for telling you so Ashburton flushed H is vanity was perhaps the only thing he did not h ave under perfect control “ Since I have in spired your hate SO far C atherine continued still intent on her pat .
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terns on the w all answer me a question How many people have ever told you a big ” truth like that in your life ? H e ro se to the occasion with a readiness that su rpri sed her “ — O nl y you an d Alice herself when She said to me th at I did n ot under sta nd h er w ell enough to really c are for her an d that on e f orgot mo st things in time “
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There was Silence for a few moments They both looked out to the great sheet of sea below them sparkli ng in the midday winter sun .
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little joys an d woes must seem to you n ow John said at last S he smil ed her smile that was alway s a lit “ tle t oo grave as Leonida had said Yet the little joys an d wo es make up the process of ” “ living She an swered What would you have ? E xcept for Leonida my own lif e has been dead these many years The world has aff ected me only as it seemed l ikely in h er ,
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LEON IDA GR OW S UP total ly unprotected fut ure to affect her My ld on e reason for wi shing to live longer wo u have been to see her married an d settled An d yet there ar e so few men who co ul d han ” dle a high delicate soul l ike hers ! “ What is your ideal for her may on e ask ? M adame M onted onico thought for a mo ment “ Leonida must marry a young man above — everyt hing a man who looks at life from the He must s am e untin ged standpoint as her self be of a nat ure rather simple than Subtle an d rather ful fillin g her defect s than matching her virt ues Mo st important of all he must be normal S he will alw ays lean a littl e to the dramatic an d the high fl own an d the best steadying in the world for her would be th at ” of a very healthy nat ure “ My mother remarked Ashburton smil “ ing once pl anned for me such a match which — was to be much on your pl an each fulfilling ” defect in each B ehold the result ! “ Were the women too wise, S he l aughed .
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— fooli sh
perhaps too for you ar e a very charming man Mr Ashburton They t urned away from the sea an d began to mount the hill again John A shburton lifted his hat an d showed his iron gray hair in the s unl ight “ ” You are very complimentary he said ; but I have been refused onl y once an d that H e broke off suddenl y with a little or
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best criti ci sm on that is that you have ” never asked an other woman S ince They walked on in Silence to the cottage gate There Madame M ont ed oni co p aused “ “ ” It is a pity she sai d slowly that she dyes her hair “ ” Yes an swered John a Sharp smile sn ap “ ping out in his keen eyes it is t o say the least a pity I would never h ave let her d o it B ut I hear her hu sband is qui te impos sibl e He gets his cl othes ready made they tell me Th e
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72
L EON IDA GR OW S UP Mother said Leonida one evening as the t wo sat together in front of the fire her small, firm chin resting on her hand s an d her eyes “ deep in the blaze mother do you know it seems to me I m awfully wicked ! “ ” Why dear ? replied M adame M onted o nico rather wearily She clo sed her book an d dropped her hands thinner than ever and more tremulous for the p ast week in her ,
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B ecause I can t believe things said Leo nida briskly going to the point with her usual “ energy I O ften wonder what s to become of me I can fall back on you for my faith now, but suppo se I should go away t o visit some on e an d they Should hav e prayers an d all that s ort of thing If I couldn t pray with my whole heart I ought n t to pray at all ought I ? Woul dn t it be rather mean and und erhand C atherine M ontedonico sat upright sud ’
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TH E
H er thoughts fl ew to John Ashburton
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been talkin g religion to the child ? “ What do you mean Leonida she asked “ Sharply What has been the use of all our — talks an d O f of my entire life if you can n ot reali se wh at God is an d how eas ily one can beli eve in an d trust him? Look at me ; you ,
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know I pray with my whole heart every day of my life C hild child look at me an d think ” what need of faith an d help I have had S he drew Leonida impulsively to her knees an d “ ki ssed the brown head There there we mustn t worry you yet with dogm a an d argu ,
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Leonida s brow wr in kled beneath the touch of her mother s ca r es sin g finger s “ But how can I forget it m other ? Some times it worr ies me terribly an d makes me feel like a sort of a Sinn er O ne of the books th at Rufus C arnifex len t me said that faith was the mo st important thing in life an d even if a man had sinn ed for year s if h e turned ’
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Of s
upreme emotion an d tenderness that one first sees the height of lif e Remem ber that it has been worked for an d plan n ed for for years an d when the culmination is reached we open our s ouls to the light ; just as when you used to run to me as a lit tle child and tell me all your joys an d s orrows but one d ay something larger an d greater came an d you reali sed all at once by my response an d by my tenderness how very greatly I loved ” you Madame M onted onico thought for a moment before She went on : “ Think always of God as an embodiment .
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Love For some en d which we do n ot kn ow L eonida that Wi sdom made this world so ,
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76
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We s oul s
own hands ; the only
L EONIDA GR OW S UP with much about us that is crooked an d less that is strai ght is t o t urn back to the Love an d Infinite Wisdom which made uS an d lay up their streng th in our hearts To me it is one O f the greatest proofs of God s exi stence that the di vine in each of us is onl y developed by our own eff orts an d our own reali sation of good an d evil There is no arbitr ary power to p as s sentence on ’ one s life save one s own scal es of conscience poised on all the tr ue an d noble that has lit our p as t an d m akes our future hope I can n ot expl ai n t o you an y more than any one could ever explain to me the why and where fore of life If we un derstood God s plans we Should be as he ; and there would be nothi ng to work for It is h ard enough as it is Y et at the en d I believe he will see that each on e ” of us m i ght have done worse She p au sed again an d held her han d over her eyes “ An other thing I want you t o feel dear is that the something di vine in you must never way we
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By beautifying your soul you will
W e each one of us make by our lives an d our eff orts the abstr act standard s c al led nobility an d self abnegati on an d mor ality S o that p ers onal sacrifice be comes small when one is adding t o the prin ciple of right O ur lives touch each other more clo sely than any of us realise an d we are responsibl e for our smallest actions Remember that And the power an d the str ength an d the love to d o all this lies in your own heart God exp ects you to m ake use of the divine in you He exp ects you to conquer the little thing s F or in stance when o r s u pr a y f r in or f r fi n w th r it lw a y o a o e e a e a y seem s to me t o be belitt ling God H is works ar e t oo in finite f or that But when you lift up your very heart an d say 0 God giv e me streng th t o bear the little trial s of daily life as they may come then you are really praying W e can n ot change God s mind Leonida His purpo ses are too vast for that — But what we can d o is t o love him that is be
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78
LEON IDA GR OW S UP to love everything beautiful and noble and only the beautiful an d noble an d t o ask for a quiet an d equ able soul n o matter what the chances O f life bring us And at the last he will understand he will understand better than the mo st loving father h ow dark the ro ad was how dim the light Never pray to God for ju stic e chil d F or h e himself is ju stice an d portion s our rewards according to ou r own sou It seems t o me t o be l s stan dards tr ying to put something infin ite with some thing mortal when peopl e try to induce him — t o h ave mercy on them he who is all mercy ,
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forgiveness You may n ot be able t o under stand thi s n ow ; p erhap s you will n ot be able t o understand it un til you ar e near ” death F or death makes all thin gs clear t o us H er eyes grew suddenly deeper an d darker “ When the eveni ng comes Leonida an d we fold our work and put it aside God s love is never greater He lets our tired eyelids clo se an d amid st all earthly doubts an d perplex i ties he gives us the kn owledge th at in some
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better world all will be made clear to us The greater hearted we have been here so much more will we appreciate the life there Tho se who h ave conquered here will see things in their true light there ; tho se who have fail ed here will n ot understand there That my chil d is what is meant by heaven an d hell But we shall be able to grow to learn and to exp and th ere t oo L eonid a s o that the great est failur e may be develop ed into a success ” at l as t Leonida stirred by something in her moth er s voic e c aught the thin hand s an d pressed them against her lips “ And for each one of us there is something S pecial waiting there If we have bravely fought doubts here the solving will be there ; if we have pu zzl ed here it will be made clear th ere ; if we h ave been starv ed here we sh all — be fil led there there Leonida in the pl ace of ” fulfil ment A sil ence fell upon the room The fire light flickered on the t wo figures an d bur .
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80
LEONID A GR OW S UP Leonida s hair The sp arks shot fit fully out every n ow and then C atherine M on ted on ic o s fin g ers moved ceaseles sly over the girl s cheek She w as battling with h er self as on e could t ell by the lin es of h er fore head an d the even un usual pallor of her face But she had learned the l esson O f life so w ell that outw ardly she was the same gentle rather cold woman In some of us self control comes as almo st a cur se ; to others it is a primal necessity Yet it is never called upon for years without blun ting the finer points of ten derness an d makin g our smiles less frequent an d our tear s less ready She straightened herself suddenly in her chair as a clock struck somewhere H er mind was made up Her mouth twitched at the cor ners as she t urned t o the girl an d took her face between her tw o hands an d kissed it ” “ Stand up before me Leoni da she said L eonida smiled as she ro se t o her feet Mother darling I hav e outgrown thi s dress if that s what you mean n ished
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H er
voice dropped aw ay as She caught sight F or a moment the of her mother s eyes Sil ence of the room w as almo st un bearable Then Leonida straightened herself as the older woman had done a moment before It was a characteri stic ac tion with both of them “ ” What is the matter ? she asked She was very p ale an d her voice had s omething str ang e in it ’
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Then it was that C atherine M onted on ico the woman who had faced the greatest mi s ery with str ength an d judgm ent the woman who had won her battle for herself while los — ing it in the eyes of the world fail ed She leaned suddenly against her chil d an d burst into a p assionat e flood of tear s “ ” “ L eonida L eonida she mo aned I am going t o di e ! In th at moment Leonida grew up an d be came a woman A litt le tremor went through her but h er hands w ere cool an d steady as she laid them on her mother s head an d her breath came an d went evenly O n e great thought ,
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There dearest Leoni da gently said “ Try to clo se your You ll feel eas ier here ” eyes an d be quite still And so they remained through the long win — ter evening the woman weak an d exhau sted the girl kneeling on the floor by th e s ofa with her mother s h ead again st her breast Th e wind ro se outs ide an d ratt led against the win dow s A log broke an d fell to pi eces in the fireplace But C atherine M onted onic o di d not hear She had fallen into a tired sleep with the feeling th at her fight was over at last an d that she was in the hands of a soul stronger than her own Leonida s mind w as busy She went back week after week month after month seeing thousands of little incidents in their true light A flood of pity and tenderness welled up in h er h eart an d her tears dropp ed on e by on e on the seamed forehead Only on e p assi onate — prayer could ri se to her lip s that it might n ot be long In time to come the girl O ften went b ack ”
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84
LEONIDA GROW S UP cro ss the years to that ni ght It was the sta rting point mat urity Suddenly of her there had been awakened in h er that str ength an d independent courage which were her birthright from her mother Sh e could not see ahead n ow for h erself ; the on e su ff ering figure filled the future But She could vagu ely un derstand the cool steady judgment She would need the iron self control and the en during patience Tho se wh o are mad e O f l strong material lead lonely lives Leonida in later years often thanked God that on thi s ni ght she had not been able to look ahead a
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A MI S TAK E
A
M ISTAK E
daff odil s were early that year They O p ened their eyes to the March sunlight an d drank in the first spring breezes that swept over the moor The world suddenly seemed The sea laughed softly as it t o grow young beat again st the cli ffs an d murmured s ome ’ In L eonida s secret to the budding earth garden there were already anemones and tiny TH E
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h e r n s p e a nno u n c e d t h coming O f t e e a rs e g crocu s army The first morning that the daff o dil s were full blown the gi rl went into the g arden an d stood looking at them thoughtfully She Shi v ered a littl e though the d ay w as mil d as She bent t o gather some of the freshest an d sweet est an d as sh e pr essed th em again st h er cheek her eyes were full of tears .
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M ISFIT
T HE
CRO WN
“
I hate to have you die you poor thi ngs “ she whis per ed But she does so want to see ,
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! o u y
”
walked over t o the gate and stood lean in g on it lookin g out to the sea with the sp arkle of the mo rning sunshi ne on its w aves There was an almo st un bearable beauty in the — day Why why was life s o simple an d fair h ere an d a few pac es aw ay in th at still room Leonida dropped the flowers so horribl e ? suddenly an d put her hand s over h er ears to n d of th at l a shut out the rem embered s o u bored breathing that pitiful gasp of p ain that mo an of a suff erin g beyond control S o John A shburton f ound her as he r ode up She
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the ro ad
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moment l ater
an d
di smounted
at
th e
cottage gate ” “ Wh at is the matter ? he called quickly a sharp fear in h is voic e S he caught sight of him an d smil ed r ather sadly then bent t o pick up th e fl ower s at her feet “ ” “ It is nothing sh e s aid ; I got t o think .
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T HE
M ISFIT
CRO WN
more or less selfis h life O n the contrar y, I have no bad habits an d a suflicien t income to a
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make you comfortable Y ou out his hand suddenly toward .
tretched “ — her you are he
s
very young an d you will be very lonely It ” — would mean a great h appiness—in my life He paused an d straightened himself ag ai n “ There it is I ask you t o do me the honor to be my wife Leonida had grown very pale but h er eyes were bright an d her head unu sually erect “ ” “ An d I she said coolly decline that hon or M r A shburton John Ashburton did n ot move but the whip in his h and suddenly snapped H e w as a man of strong self control ; but h e h ad sun k in th e last moment s in hi s own estimation : h e had allow ed hi mself t o be surpri sed “ Sh all I tell you why you ask me t o marry ” ea e s L e o n i d w e nt n h er voic e m ur d u ? a o o y “ becau se you pity me B ec au se an d ev en your brother has told you th at my poor moth er s greatest dread is my uncertain future .
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92
A
M IS TAKE
would not marry you if I were starv ” in g Mr Ashburton She paused for a mo “ I will d o you the justice t o say that ment o u o n r m d o e pr t nd to lov Your t a n f o e e e y y motive may even have b een a generous on e But I have n ot fallen so low that I will marry a man wh o asks me out of pity She t urned an d walked up the garden p ath t o the house At the door she paused an d looked back at him “ If you had asked me to marry you because ” “ u o lov d m sa id S lowly I would h a v e e e s h e y given you another answer I will n ot marry you n ow because I d o n ot want your pity I would n ot have married you then because I ” d o n ot want your love A moment l ater an d John Ashburton was alon e in the spring sun shin e having been r e fused for the second time in his life But
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A S the
hou se door clo sed behind Leonida the little maid She stumbl ed again st Ro sa who w as hurryin g down the narrow entry ,
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M ISF IT
T HE
CRO WN “
”
Oh mi ss She gasped your mother Leonida clutch ed the girl who was white with terror by the shoulders an d stopped her “ What is it Ro sa ? K eep quiet an d tell ” me ! “ She woke in a fearful way mi ss I think ” She s dying ! Leonida wrenched O pen the front door an d push ed her out “ ” “ Run ! she said Shortly Run t o the near est hou se an d tell s ome man t o rid e for h is ” life for Dr A shburton “ — Ro sa hun g back But you mi ss I can t leave you all alone ” “ Hurry ! cried Leonida ho arsely Then she turn ed an d d ash ed up the stairs C atherin e M on t ed on ic o feeble as she w as w as almo st up right in her bed H er eyes w er e wide an d h er face w as gr ay S h e held out her shaki n g arms “ ” Leonida ! she panted Leon i d a I am — dying C ome clo se to me child cl oser ” cl oser Leonid a ,
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94
M ISF IT
T HE
For thou only
art
rest
CRO WN
Whithers oever
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the
man turneth it findeth s orrow except o nly in thee Fix there then thy resting pl ace my soul Lay up in him wh at thou hast received from him C ommend to the keeping of the truth whatever the truth hath given thee an d thou shalt lo se nothing And thy dead things Sh all revive an d thy weak ” things shall be made whole C atherine M onted on ico looked into her child s eyes an d smiled Then very p eace fully She died s
oul
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H ow long Leonida knelt there by the bed
never kn ew Some s ound broke suddenly through the still h ou se an d she moved at last She ro se sl owly t o her feet an d lo oked at th e rigid white face on the pillow S he reali sed in that m oment that the mo st preciou s thin g in her life w as dead ; that the memory o f her childho od w as gone forever ; an d th at the on e irrep arable l oss in the wo rld had befallen her H er stro n g slim h and s did n ot quiver as she
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96
M IS TAKE
A
clo sed her mother s eyes sh eets over the shrunken body She
had
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mechanica lly str aightened
tood helpless gaz ing fixedly
s
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folded Yet when
an d
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room
sh e
the the
at
the
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till fo rm
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with a feeling of almo st unbear abl e d esol ation Then turnin g instinctively to the things she loved best, She moved over t o the window an d let in the air an d the sun light on
the bed
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noon an d the sun w as blaz ing down on the village The sea was such an O palescent blue th at it seemed unnatural an d the street of the t own looked almo st snow whi te beside it Leoni da put her hand to her head Surely everything was abnormal ly colored and strange S he suddenly realised that she might give way herself an d that she must call for help S he clo sed the room door behind her an d began to descend the n arrow stairs a little uncert ainly A sob caught in her thro at Suppo se She should fal l or lo se con sciousness ? S he was so alone an d so helpless It was al mo st
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97
T HE
I
M ISFIT
CRO WN
”
will n ot faint She said aloud her dry “ ” I will n ot faint white lips quiverin g A great w ave of darkn ess surged over her an d She c aught at s om ethi ng before her A moment l ater the weakness had passed an d S he reali sed that she w as at the foot of th e stairs holding fast t o Rufu s C arn ifex s h ands “ ” “ Leonida he was saying Leoni da don t — try t o stand sit down on the stai rs for a mo ” ment Poor child ! ,
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k down helplessly restin g her throbbing head again st the bani sters Rufus fetched some water an d she vaguely felt him moisten her forehead It w as very good to h ave s ome on e s o t en der clo se by she tho ught ; an d ther e w as a gentl en ess abo ut R ufus which belon gs only t o men wh o have suffered them selves When she had rested a few m omen ts she let hi m h elp her out into the fresh air They stood sid e by S id e in the littl e g ar den L eon id a with her eyes on the sea Rufus watchin g her san
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98
V THE
L E GE N D O F
TR IN GAR T H
M ISFIT
T HE
CRO WN
discussed the matter She will make a lovely ” bride She has such a nice fig ure “ She has a terrible old woman for a grand ” mother Carrie obj ected Sir Rufus from be hind his newspaper “ My dear Rufu s there is no woman in London more religious than I I m sure I v e just p aid six pounds for havin g my Bible re bound in that lovely n ew shade of mauve leather ; but I really don t thin k we can as k There s no better blood everything of heaven in E ngland than the M arweirs an d the old countess mightn t turn up at the marri age or live long enough t o be at the first baby s chri stening E very family is founded on a skel eton I believ e ; an d L eoni d a h erself makes up for fifty Lady M arweir s She has more than mo st gi rl s in my O pinion I think I “
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hould wear pink at the wedding Leon ida her self was sil ent an d absent It w as with a great eff ort th at she forced herself t o t ake an interest in Sir Rufus s horses an d L ady C arn ifex s frocks The whol e life was s
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1 04
T HE
LE GEN D
T R IN GAR T H
OF
uch an absolute contradiction of her old on e th at She could n ot get her soundings an d felt hopelessly adrift an d lonely O n e point h ow ever Sh e had settled : th at it would be a relief to have work to d o She had writte n to her grandmother that she would join her when The old countess had ever she w as sent f or been on the C ontinent at the time of Madame M onted on ico s death an d had sent v ery hys t er ical tel egra s an d v ery gaudy flowers She meant to Sp end the summer at Montreux in — Switzerl and n ot b ecause Geneva was beau tiful but becau se the hotel was cheap ; an d as soon as a fitting escort t urn ed up she would Leonida h er exp ect L eonid a t o come t o h er self would far r ather have liv ed on with s om e on e in C arley Weir for which Simpl e life her Slender income would have been ampl e But already she was t oo strong an d ideali stic a nature n ot to feel the need of a duty an d a work for some on e or somethi ng L ady M ar weir seemed her fir st call an d besides that C atherine M onted on ico had wished it s
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1 05
M ISFIT
THE
CRO WN
All the long Spring afternoon Leonida h ad lain in th e cool qui et hall an d had tried her best to Obey L ady C arn ifex s injunctions an d But she felt a sudden relief as the sl eep serv ants brought in the l amp s an d some doors banging in the distance ann ounced the family ,
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ret urning to tea Lady C arnifex an d Sir Rufus came in first They had been driving over the moor to see oked s om e di stant n eighbor s an d Sir Rufu s l o bored an d his wife elated She kissed Leo nida saw that the shawl over her feet was a warm on e an d then bu stled over to the tea thin gs “ Well my dear w e really got O ff awfully easily an d n ow it s don e at l ast They w ere all at h om e fan cy every on e of that great Fitzgerald family an d the childr en were play ing h orse on the dr awin g ro om floor when w e went in I n ever allow ed Rufus an d G eoff ry s o much as in sid e th e d r awing roo m did I Rufus ? Ar chie Fitzgerald is an awfully n i ce man but he do es play the worst game of .
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1 06
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M ISF IT
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Dear me ! put in Lady C arnifex how clever that sound s ! Re al ly Rufus dear I hOpe you ll do s omethin g with your book My father used to write awfully sweet letters Lo ts of clever people don t write though Look at Mr A shburton He doesn t write Don t you think so an d he s terribl y cl ever “
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Leonid a Leonida turned to move the cu shi on behind “ Yes Lady C arnifex I thin k he is her head ,
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very clever man A silence fell upon the room Rufus walked over an d picked up a book from the floor at Leonida s feet ” “ “ I beg your p ardon he said you dropped your book I hO pe you enjoyed it thi s after noon I marked the pass ages I thought would ” help you mo st Leonida looked up at him an d her brow wrinkl ed “ I m awfully sorry but I haven t O p ened it I don t think I m intelligent enough t o under stand it M r C arnifex ”
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1 08
L E GEND
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T R IN GAR T H
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Rufus smiled W e are all more or less ” unintelligent in th e beginning he responded “ You don t know how d iflicult I found it to comprehend th ese things at fir st Now with study an d pr acti se it all seems as clear as d ay I only recommend it to you becau se I know that in the en d it will give you a great source ” of strength an d happiness “ ” You are very good said L eonida peni “ tently an d s ome d ay I will try again to get — into it But d on t you think I might read ” — other things just now ? “ I think you are mi staken in putting it off said Rufu s stifliy “
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Lady C arn ifex rattled the sugar tongs “ cro ssly Oh Rufus d on t say you re mi s taken say you re wrong It s s o much l ess p atronising I m sur e that sort of book al ways gives me a head ache H elp for E very Day i sn t it ? I don t believe in reading such thing s myself I don t know where you got all thi s religion from Rufu s And it s made o u i s r th n your hould r third n rrow r s e e a a a e ; y -
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1 09
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M ISF IT
THE
than Geo ffry s
CRO WN
Personally
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think it
mo st
is
unnecessary to be thinkin g about the hereafter s o much an d all th at sort of thing I m sure ’
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no
on e can e e
v r tell if you re right or wrong
so
where s
the
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ti sfaction of it ?
Ring
sa
,
the
bell pl ease I hear Geo ffry coming The front door blew shut with a crash an d the terri er s came rushing into the room tum bling j oyously over each other an d finally l anding by Leonida on the sofa T he girl s eyes w ere brighter an d h er head w as turn ed t o the other en d of the h all where Geo ffr y w as throwing as ide his crop an d whi stlin g to the d ogs H e came in like a breath of fr esh air like something str ong an d free an d pure ,
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L eonida thought “ ” Hello everybody ! he said slipping h is “ Wh ew I v e had a arm abo t h is moth er long rid e ! Did you g o to the Fitzgerald s too ” Rufus ? Yes tea please Rufu s sitting b ent forw ard in his chair with his eyes on Leonida carefully fl ecked a bit of dust fro m h is co at .
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110
C R OW N
M ISFIT
THE
”
mother G eo ff ry w ent on going back to the tea table an d balancing himself on “ let s bring the arm of Lady C arn ifex s chair all the puppies in to n ight an d h ave a romp I stopp ed at the ken nel s ju st now an d th e dogs D ear little mother doesn t are all S plendid — I love th at hat you look sw eet She look fine ? ” S ixteen over again Lady C arnifex patted her head and colored with pleasure “ My dear boy I m really getting very old I m going t o change thi s s ort of veil I wear M aud Fitzgerald has a l ovely kind fr om ” J ay s ; but then her complexion is awful “ You r eally sh ould n ot allow the dogs in ” s aid Rufu s here to night disapprovingly I
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They t wi st the rugs every which ” jump on the best ch airs
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Well repli ed his mo ther resignedly I m Y ou can settl e th e dog s going up stair s among yourselves I don t c are I m su r e D ear me I wish my hair would stay in curl ! “
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112
.
THE
L E GEN D
Leonida what ” din ner ?
ar e
,
T R IN GAR T H
OF
you going to
do
before
L eoni d a ro se from the sofa and wrapped “ her Shawl about her I m going for a w alk to the kenn el s if I may I want to see the ” puppies “ ” Yes said Geo ffr y loo king about for hi s “ cap Sh e ought to see them F ath er I ordered that new strap fitted to your saddle in Por lock C ome on Leonid a The door clo sed behind the t wo Lady C ar n ifex stood sil ent at th e foot of the stairc ase f or a mom ent ab sently running a hat pin into the hat She held “ I hope they won t have a long engage ” ment she said at last “ ” Oh bo sh ! C arrie grunted Sir Rufus cro ssly “ Y ou a re worryin g quite unn ec essarily “ Geofi ry feel s said Rufu s in his sti ff w ay ,
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Leonid a only the purest friendship ” know because he told me so
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113
.
I
T HE
C R OW N
M ISF IT
My dear Rufus replied Lady Carnifex “ w earily in mo st matters you really are an ” awful fool ,
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kenn els of C arley House were one of Sir Rufus s tend erest point s an d the envy of half the countryside There are few S ights more full of inconsequent fun than that of forty or fifty puppies tumbling over each other with h ealth an d spirits an d quarreling lu stily over their evening meal They had ap pealed to Leonida at once an d She had fo rmed the h abit of w atching th em at th eir supper ju st at dusk every evening during her st ay at C arley House T o night she an d G eo ffry stood gazin g at the d og s over the w all which bound ed th eir y ard T here w as a din of b arks an d yelp s an d the cries of t he st abl e b oys ” “ They r e really spl endid said G eo ffry en “ I v e n ever seen youn g d ogs in thusiast ically better tr im H ave you ever n oticed th at each Lo ok at that s ol on e of them l ook s human ? ’
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114
,
M IS FIT
T HE
chance
an d
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I
C R OW N
don t have to wait ’
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ither
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can
”
rt next week Leonida was strangely silent She sud denl y drew her Sh awl clo ser about her and shivered “ “ ” You see Geo ffry went on it s just what I w ant bec au se ever yt hing more or less of father s goes to Rufus with the titl e ; an d a younger son s n o good in E ngland anyw ay With the capital I v e got to start on I ought to make a fairly nice thing of it I don t want to be a burden on father and on e of these days I Sha n t want to be a burd en on Rufus I mean to tell father to ni ght an d I think he ll be as gl ad as I He do esn t like stay at h ome s on s O f course it ll be beas tly leaving mother an d every on e but they s ay that West ern life is simply ripping an d I v e alw ays w anted t o try it I ll miss you Leonida awfully We ve s r o l rown t b e uch good f i nd I hop l e s o u e g y ” miss me a bit t oo H e l aid his big h and on her S lim strong fin gers as they r ested on the gray stone of sta
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116
LE GEND
T HE
w all
T R IN GAR T H
OF
miled down into her eyes S he w as an unu sually tall woman yet She sca rcely rea ched Geo ffr y s should er So they sil ent stood for a moment then Leonida lifted her hand an d gave hi s a friendly little
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wfully glad Geo ffry she said sim “ I h O pe you ll do a lot of good work an d ply make a fort une C an t we go in an d see th e ” puppies n ow ? And they went into the k ennel yards an d played with the dogs until dinner time “
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That night after dinner the pro spects of Geo ff ry s new Opening w ere fully di scussed Sir Rufu s w as plainly delighted an d said so A manly wholesome O p en air life appealed to him above everyt hi ng an d like mo st of hi s kind the love he bore h is favorite son con si sted more in the pride of G eo ff r y s riding an d in h is manlin ess th an in h is mer e com hi a s Rufu look d moth r w i th h i t e i s e n o n s a p p ,
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117
of patronage whi ch ,
ru flled
C R OW N
M ISFIT
T HE
that lady s feathers at once an d t hen rem arked that he had heard on fairly re liable authority that the climate of T ex as was all
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I don t care a bit for the salubriety or ” whatever one calls it r etorted Lady C arni “ I sometimes think you go out fex cro ssly of y our w ay to say di sagreeably ped antic things Rufus Geo ffry s constitution can stand anything I only hope it won t be d is e e i d i rt y Do you uppo th y S l p s l s s e u t n e g gy ’
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in tents or wigwams or what ? Oh dear ! An d the women are terribly pretty an d Geo f fry s sure to make a mésaliian ee Do you think any of tho se p eople have grandfath ers ? N ot much ! Why far less fathers Th at land — is settled by ca staways awful creat ures wh o don t know how to sp ell ! D o be careful ,
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G eo ff ry
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out l aughing Wh y mother dear I won t h ave tim e t o as much as look at — provided there s on e within fif ty a woman miles, which isn t likely Y ou forget I m “
Geofl ry burst ’
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118
M IS FIT C R OW N
T HE
My dear L ady Carnifex I r an down qui te un expectedl y for the w eek end an d of course I had to ride acro ss at once to see you How — bright your fire looks the evenings are sur pri singly cold for M ay I was n t interr upt ing a family confab was I ? You all look so ” abs orbed ,
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Oh dear no said L ady C arnifex set tling herself with contentment for a delightful evening an d wi shing She had on a more be “ It s only somethi ng that s coming frock happ ened to Geo ff You remember Bobby Hayward don t you my cousin ? H e always would ride hor ses that were too small for him ” an d pay c all s in the evening “ B obby Hayw ard evidently di d n ot under ” stand th e fitn es s of thin g s John l aughed “ I should thin k n ot H e marri ed a very nice girl who se name I can t remember but sh e h ad r ed hair Don t you r ecoll ect R u — fus w e u sed t o sit b ehind th em in church Well their son is n ow living in T exas an d w ants Geo ffry t o come out an d go shares in ,
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1 20
L E GEND
T HE
OF
TR IN GAR T H
omething or other They breed horses you know F or my part I say it s probably aw fully dirty Don t you th ink so Ashburton turned to Geofi ry N ot the yo ung Hayward who own s that big ranch and of whom every on e thi nks s o much ! he ex “ claimed Why it s a spl endid chance Your ” s on s in luck Sir Rufu s “ H e d eserves it he deserves it grunted Sir Rufus contentedl y “ D ecided ly in luck And is the younger ” Rufus going too ? The younger Rufu s at some di stance from the p arty about the fire Shut his book an d kept his finger car efully in the correct page “ ” I beg your pardon ? he said s
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John A shburt on s eyes t winkled Rufus alw ays amu sed him inten sely “ A re you too going with your broth er ? he repeat ed ’
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N0 most certainly no ! I have s ome very importan t work on hand here Mr Ashhur ” ton ,
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1 21
.
T HE
Of
M IS FIT C R OW N
course your book ” how it is progressing ,
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I have not heard
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I fancy few people kn ow of it at all he “ E ven when they do hear of it continued I suppo se it is not on a subj ect which will take with the multitude It is the result of In s ome year s of thought an d argument fact it is a siftin g The subj ect is you know the D ecline of Modern Christi anity The far ther I go the more inadequate I fin d myself f or the task But I have determined t o com — l i t n t e e a d s e to compl t it w ll O f cour e e e p ” the field is an almost indefinitely wide on e “ ” I don t know John lit a cigar he said I shouldn t c all any C hri stianity wid e an d I should think the D ecline of Modern Chri s tian ity n arrow comp ar ed to its progress ’ “ ” Thi s from a cynic ! laughed Geofi ry ” Hear hear ! “ It is impo ssible for e t o argue fl ippan tly ” “ replied Rufu s abo ut it The subj ect seem s ,
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1 22
CR OW N
M IS FIT
THE
id Geo ffry to ssing some wood on the You rea d aloud Read it Leonida fire ” rippingly ” “ assented Lady C arnifex as she Yes do “ tucked another cushion behind her back It s e s rf ctly prop r i n t it Mr A hbu r ton s e ? e p Gen erally speaking I think readi ng aloud is — fearfully middle elass the happy homes of But the E ngl and and all that sort of thing serv ant s aren t about an d it really doesn t ” matter B efore L eonid a began she looked at the three men outlined again st the firelight s tand ing sid e by side Geo ffry first his head thrown bac k his p ip e b etw een his lip s h is sho ulder s — squ ared H is eyes were rather di stan t prob ably in T ex a s H e w as n ot p aying much Next Rufus slightly attention she thought bent fo rward h is gaz e on the gr ound his whol e fo rm pigmy beside that of his huge brother And last John A shburt on smiling keen bland smoking his excell ent cigar with evident enjoym ent an d w atching the girl sa
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1 24
,
T HE
L E G EN D OF
T R IN GAR T H
closely as She read The thr ee great influences of her life were before her Which would come out on top ? Her fing ers tightened suddenly about the book as if in pain Then she began : “ The Legend of Trin garth and the M ys tery of its Haunted G arden “ Once th ere wandered over the hill s an d vall eys of this fair country a woman S he moved ceaselessly taking no rest in the win ter s cold or the summer s h eat always wi th slow painful footstep s her groping an d hands stretched out before her ; for she was blind .
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Now it came to pas s that after man y long an d weary winters a mid summ er d ay dawned f or her She w as wending her way through a great an d S il ent forest where the green branches let the sun flicker down about her head an d the quiet of noontide stole into her heart ; an d there suddenly cro ssed h er path from among the trees a man blind as She the only wound of who se Strength was his ,
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1 25
,
T HE
M IS F IT C R OW N
ightless eyes And when she felt him draw near She shrank back and was afraid s
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gently took her hands an d lo oked Y et with his blin dness into her blindness still She was afraid an d drew back in terror “ And he passed his ar m about her an d She “
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leaned on him in utter weariness an d he led her o ver the hills “ At l ast they came to a great garden at the edge of th e forest full of r ed Jun e ro ses ; an d ther e were p ansies that grew beside the roses for r emembrance And in the center of the garden there was a still pool And he led her to its edge an d plucked a red ro se that grew th ere an d gave it to her ; an d he drew her clo ser t o him an d they looked with stead fas t heart s into the pool “ And suddenly th ey O pened their eyes an d s aw ; an d w h at they saw w as each other s face reflected in the quiet water against the blue June S ky “ And she kn elt on the ground in the great stilln ess w i th the n o ond ay sun on her h air ,
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1 26
M IS FIT C ROW N
THE
n sta nding by the edge of the pool look ing into its unfathomable depths and clasping ” to her breast a ro se that is dead The sil ence in the room was broken by Lady C arnifex “ ” H ow p erfectly sweet ! She excl aim ed “ Where did you fin d it Mr Ashburton Ashburton Shook hi s Shoulders before he replied : “ It is an old W el sh l egend Lady C arnifex I m p articul arly fond of that sort of thi ng ” N ow I want t o know what you all make of it ? “ ” M ake of it ? retorted L ady C arnifex “ briskly Why they were in love of cour se an d he had t o go away bec au se he had a sick moth er or heredi tary disease in his fami ly or n o money or s omething of th at sort And sh e lived on where he d pr epo sed t o her an d alw ay s w er e bl ack an d w ent to church on th e ” anniv er sary Th at s wha t I think “ Th ere w as probably a moral obstacle “ broke in Rufus p ensively P erh ap s his r e ligion bound him very str ongly C onscience see
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1 28
LE GEND
T HE
O F T R IN G A RT H
trong factor in the actions of the more primitive men Gardening would be a poor s ort of climax for a woman with tru e Chr is ” tian Spirit though
was
a s
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John coughed suddenly an d has tily t urned to Sir Rufus t o regain hi s self control That gentleman was fast asleep “ H ow about you Geo ffry ? Geo ffry was pufling at hi s pipe thought fully “ I think it w as rather nice in them to d o the thing d ecently an d to make n o fuss about it ” if they had t o give each other up he said “ I m sure that fellow was a gen S imply tleman “ I I think so decidedl y agreed John have another theo ry about them too I don t believe somehow that they had t o give each other up so much as that th ey felt it was finer It is very an d b et ter and a m atter of honor beautiful The line I like bést is they saw each other s face reflec ted in the qui et water against th e blu e June sky ,
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1 29
T HE
CR OW N
M IS FIT
Leonida stirred suddenly The part I like ‘ best is yet a red ro se will never bloom in her she said garden ag ain “ Yes I do think faithf ulness is awfully “
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I knew a weet Lady C arni fex answered woman once who was so faithful to a man He was in a half pay regiment in Indi a too an d a fearful bor e In some cases it s easier than others H e gave her the mo st hideous s
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ngagement ring I v e ever ” r ibly rough on her ’
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J ohn Ashburton cro ssed over to where L eoni da sat an d spoke gently t o her “ ” I m glad you enjoyed it he said I enjoyed it immensely an d I sh all always ” “ I hop e always keep the book She returned Im t o keep my friend s t oo Mr A shburton .
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going in a week or ten days to my grand mother Lady M ar weir in Switz erland ; but I hO pe n o on e in E ngl and will forget me Y ou — wrote me a very kind l etter about about ” m other s death Than k you! “ W e Shall non e of us forget you S o it is ,
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T HE
kind
M IS FIT C R OW N
of
person who will S houlder with an exalted fer v or an y bur den fate giv es you to carry without in the least reali sin g that the burden can always be shaped to fit your own back There is n o telling to what impo ssible excess this mania may l ead you The mo st trivi al necessities will loom up for you as tabulated commandments ; an d you will pro b ably en d by joining a S i sterhood becau se they n eed s ome on e to du st an altar or marrying a man becau se he n eed s s ome on e t o put his ” winter cloth es in camphor He dropped his “ I am really quite serious voice Don t let notions of p aths t o be follow ed an d duti es an d exigenci es d o you your self an irrep ar abl e wrong M ake it your rule of life not s o much t o do other s ju stice as to do yourself no in ” j ustice S he turned away l o oking thoughtfully at the little book She still held an d did n ot an swer John bent his h ead an d spoke l ower still “ I hO pe our l ast meeting an d p arting wil l ,
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1 32
LEGEND
T HE
never m ake ” Leon ida
any
O F TR IN G AR T H
di fference in our friendship
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I h O pe
Perhaps I d id n ot d o you jus ” “ tice quite She hesitated a moment Per haps I myself have a fal se sor t of pride My v i ew of life is qu i te difi eren t from your s “ He smiled And perhap s the right man will give you a r ed ro se to keep for him some ,
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A r ed ro se ? H ow did she keep it you ” “ mean broke in L ady C arnifex Why she wore it in a locket of course with his initi al s on on e sid e an d h er s on the other Y ou can k l l e th e m t Hunt R o s e s Th e y look a t g ” rather like old Welsh things anyway “
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A few moments l ater Leonida bade them all good night Sh e w as tired she said Geo ffry w ent with her to the foot of the stairw ay an d it s o h appened that John ca ught .
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what they
id t o each other “ Y ou seem done up t o night L eonida “ Geo ff ry observed I think it s that black sa
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THE
M ISFIT
C ROW N
that makes you look so pale Do you kn ow, I ll be awfully glad when you ta ke off your mourning, and wear that nice little blue ” ribbon around your thro at again “ I thi nk that is the onl y Leonida laughed
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personal remark you have ever mad e Geofi ry
she sai
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1 34
to
me
,
B O OK T WO I AN
OT HER
CO N TRA ST
AD E LIZIA , C O U N rE ss
or
'
M AB W E IB , was
a
whom some on e had once sai d that she had cl ean l ace at her front win dows an d dirty muslin at her back Her whol e life had been a continual strug l e g a in t d cr as ing incom Brought up a s e e a e g in a cl ass which Spent as it pleased as accu s tomed to her diamonds as She was to her titl e she seemed fated to see her fort u nes drop s teadily down hill until th ey finally coll ap sed in a rubbish heap at the bottom H er husband had passed his life vibrating betw een di ssip a tion s an d Monte C arlo ; her S ons followed in hi s train O f her t wo daughters on e died in woman
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n atorium the other sadder still lived out life as Catherin e M on tedonico But all
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1 37
M IS FIT C R OW N
THE
this would have afi ected any other woman far The vulgar ari stocrats ar e al ways more worse than the vulgar democrats and Lady M ar weir w as vulgar She was a mistake in — her clas s though She was the daughter of a baron an d the widow of an earl who had de spised bein g made a duke She talked loud Sh e dressed loud she w as without the faintest Shadow of delicacy Yet with it al l her race show ed in her in a certa in unbreakable spirit in a wild l avi shness in a pride that if her s on s had gon e t o the bad their sin s at l east had been the sin s of their class Lady M arw eir was cl ever an d had just mi ssed being intellect ual An d her cleverness had sto od h er in good stead F or long sh e had fought the world well getting lo an s h ere there an d everywh ere on incredible securi ties trimming her h ats with a kn ack that l o oked like Paris browbeatin g her serv ants an d trading on the symp athy of every on e f or h er extrav agan t s ons an d her dr ooping p osi tion in society But of late years her age had .
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1 38
—sit uated balconi es
th e S ide
on or
C R OW N
M ISFIT
T HE
views
where there w ere
no
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Lady M arweir ro se from
her
s
ofa drew ,
Shabby tea gown maj estically about her glanced into the mirror an d fell on the gir l s
her
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cried genuinely
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touched by the Sit uation an d r emembering C atherine s fresh young girlh ood Then she drew back an d looked L eonida over “ ” My dear child ! She excl aimed good looking you are ,
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days th at followed L ady M ar weir w as cl ever enough t o underst an d L eonid a at once If the girl had been ugly an d spirit less an d h ad depended on the old l ady s pow her grandmoth er w ould h ave sway er ful y awn ed an d let her al one But she was l ovely she wa s strong an d she w as cl everer than L ady M ar weir ; al so she knew how t o put on her cl othes S he listened p atiently t o her gr and m other s gossip she w as unfailingly th ought The old ful an d she lo oked a M arweir In the
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1 40
ANO TH E R CON TRA S T countess did a very strange thing : She let Leo nida get possession of her h eart She began t o be proud of her telling her friends in the hotel h ow many l anguages Sh e Spoke how good a manag er she was an d how like Leonida s her own figure had been She did n ot notice th at the girl sometimes colored p ainfully over her bro ad S p eeches or strove t o tone down her mo st vulgar frocks ; an d if She h ad noticed she would n ot have und er st ood The proc ess of getting t o know her grand mother interested L eonida intensely an d l ent t o tho se fir st days of loneliness a n ew char acter It was precisely thi s vitality this ab sorbing eag erness thi s energy of youth which was her greatest safeg uard She w as too intelligent for her y ears an d her quick wits sp ent th em selv es upon h er surroundings Their common funds w ere put into one j oint stock so far as the act ual expenses of living went ; but L eonida kept the control of the rest of her own money an d quietly as .
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1 41
M ISF IT
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C R OW N
umed that of the full exch equer t oo soon after her arriv al In Lady M ar weir s more v ivid days S he would have r esented thi s step ; but n ow it seemed onl y a relief t o have a steady hand t o t u rn t o an d a r eliable head to ad d up correctly an d forbid her b ank b al ance ov erdr awn S he began to a sk L eonida for the sums she n eeded quite meekly seeing that tears an d anger would be of n o avail In a thou sand li ttl e w ays the girl firmly took her battered by a stand ; an d her grandmoth er long life as she was an d with but few flash es of h er f orm er en ergy l eaned with the whol e weight of her tired beaten s oul on th ose str ong y oun g sh oulder s At n o time d oes nat ure seem more ten der an d p er s on al than in the r eac ti on fr om a great sorr ow Leonida turn ed t o the beauty of th o se Jun e d ay s with a full h eart From her wind ow she l ooked out b ey ond the hotel g ar den s to a Sheet of t urqu oi se water shim merin g in the summer sunshin e Ther e is n o s
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lake in th e w orld blue with the blue of Geneva 1 42
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M ISFIT
THE
C R OW N
by the sparkle of the sun on some mountain l d dream day dr eams for sid e an d She wo u hours the S ilence only broken for her by the s oft wind or that mysterio us murmur of the rise an d fall of Geneva whi ch seems the heart beat of the blue water against the land B ack — to her mother her thoughts would travel an d slowly ther e gr ew in her an understandin g of that noble fight of the solemnity of that death B ack t o tho se first spring days in the cottage at C arl ey Weir to the dafi odils in th e garden an d then back t o C arl ey Hou s e t o a spring t wilight the sky fl ecked with crimson an d th e di stant sea murmuring an d vast wh en she an d Geoffry C arnifex h ad leaned on the st one wall sid e by s id e an d watched the puppies at -
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ummer began
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morni ng in early Augu st Leonid a found unexp ected new s in a l ett er from J ohn A shburton O ne
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1 44
ANOTH E R CON TRA S T D ear little lady how goes it with you? “ I am coming to see for my self as it ran adv ancing y ear s tea ch me wh at un s atis fac tory things l etters are After a st upid seas on in town a German cure and a crui se with s ome p articul arly bores om e p eopl e on th eir p articularly un steady yacht I h ave finally brought up just near you at O uchy The Lu d ovi e W idmor es have a villa here ; I am st op ping with them They are ch arming but so are h n s n m a a d n t lik h ir co k My u d I o t e o e o a y telepho n ed to your hotel an d fin ds I can get ro oms s o I shall arrive the en d of the week — If all go es well I Sh all stay unobtru sively — believe me an d enjoy myself If au c on t rair e you ar e bored with me or N al er do es n ot thin k the h ou semaid s suflicien tly pr ett y I Shall meekly tran sfer my quart ers farther up th e l ake t o Vevey wh ere I can enjoy the s ame outl ook as you with out the feeling th at some on e is by wh o fin d s me middl e aged an d st u pid My compliments to your gr andmother ; ,
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1 45
THE
M ISFIT
C R OW N
v n her kindness will n ot induce her to member me after the l apse of years Since met Yours alw ays e e
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“
J O H N A SHB U RTO N
.
Leonida read the letter at once t o her grand moth er “ ” I am so pleased he is comin g She said ” It will be nice to h ave n ew s from home Lady M arweir w as stretched on her sofa fanning herself l azily She gl an ced suspi ciously at the girl “ ” Is John A shburton in l ove with you? she “ ask ed It would be an excell ent m atch L eo ” nida H e has money Leonida ro se an d w alked t o the side of the s ofa looking down steadily int o her gr and moth er s eyes S he w as tearing the letter she h eld slowly an d meth odically “ Listen grandmother ; you must clearly understand once an d for all th at there neith er is n or ever can be an y such questi on bet ween .
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1 46
THE
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C R OW N
M ISFIT
P erhaps it was wise In the bott om of her hea rt She w as conscious th at She w as a little afraid of Leonid a “ Well dear of course it s very flattering .
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rate he s cert ain t o mv rte us t o tea in the afternoon while he s here so th at will save a littl e mon ey I m ” very gl ad he s coming I m sure Leonid a bit her li p an d did n ot an swer O n the afternoon of John s arriv al She was Th ey told him at the sewin g in the g ard en hotel where She w as to be found an d he went at o n c e in search of h er S he w as sittin g under s ome spreadin g fir trees her white dress an d h er d ark h ead silhou etted again st th e sum mer sky A flash of pl easure lit her gr ave young face as she r ose t o g r eet him ” “ Dear dear me ! l aughed J ohn c atchin g “ both her han ds in his h ow ridicul ously gl ad ” I am t o s ee you! “ A n d I t o see you Only I d on t kn ow why ” it s r idicul ou s “ It i sn t ridicul ous in you but only in me she sa
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1 48
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ANOTH E R CON TRA S T I am Old enough by thi s time t o kn ow that t h e ch arming w elc ome your an swer t o my n ote gave me w as probably n ot genuine Never mind It is summer it is lovely weather an d ” w e are alive ! Leonida made room for him on h er b ench “ I h ave so m any questions that I want to ” ask you th at I d on t kn ow where t o begin J ohn w ent on seating himself beside her an d scru tini sing her c ar efully with his keen fl ash “ ing eyes First of all h ow d o you fin d your grandmother “ ” I have n ot found her entirely yet Sh e replied smiling a li ttl e thoughtfully She is still und er proc ess of being discovered In return She is probably still measuring an d l abeling me W e get along famously F or myself I hav e these enchanted gardens an d pl enty of books “ And p eopl e ? Leonida l aughed again “ Don t let me di scourage you but when I tell you that your advent is the sensation of ,
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1 49
C R OW N
M ISF IT
THE
umm er you will realise how barren M on treux is N o we are a handful of itinerant s who can t afford Ouchy or a cure W e pre tend that we h ave come here through the recommendation of s ome friend who has a title but n o discrimination The lady wh o has the entr esol rooms with a b alcony go es in to dinn er first W e idle away our days onl y herding together when the omnibus arrives with n ew victims ; th en w e go ssip about them an d cl assify them by their clothes an d accord ing as to whether or n o th ey c an aff ord co ff ee ” I v e been very c on t en t th ou gh after d in ner “ I see I J ohn was sil ent for a moment sh all h ave t o get t o kn ow you all ov er again “ Y ou ve chan ged he rem ark ed fin ally Her h an d s m oved slowly tow ard the sew ing “ I v e h ad r esp on in her lap an d she sighed sibil ity B ut n ow you mu st d o s ome talking ” H ow is the d oct or ? “ T om is ver y w ell H e has sp en t the sum mer ben din g over micr obes in his l ab oratory Having a few w eeks of holiday he decided the
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1 50
M IS F IT
TH E
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commonplace points of resemblance bet ween us our afi ection woul d have sun k to medioc rity A S it is here w e ar e ; no longer young not yet old ; no longer brilli ant nor yet en tirely tires ome Wait until that term middl e aged can be applied to you Leo ni da O nly tho se who benefit by it can appreciate its blessed vagueness ! “ I think I shoul d say remarked Leonida “ that the diff erence between you is smiling that life has rounded the doctor s corners an d ” sharp ened your s How like h er moth er she looked John A sh burton suddenly thought H ow she was de — v eIO pin g an d yet how h er enthu siasm an d her girli shness clung t o her “ ” I am sh arp ened L eonida if you will he “ T ell me ar e said aft er a moment s p au se ” u s till a n O ptimi s t ? o y Th e girl s mouth set an d her eyes darken ed a litt l e “ I will tell you what these month s have done ” “ I h ave b een clo se f or me sh e res pond ed ,
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1 52
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A NOTH E R CON TRA S T to both j oy an d sorrow I have seen both lo ss — both fai lure an d success Above an d gain all I have been s tudying in the s chool of little things I have calcul ated to a ni ce point how my bread is t o be provided and what prac tical difi culties I may h ave to face I have seen how small one s action s may be an d how dreary the wear an d tear of years on one s ” S he enthu si a sm s It ha s all taught me thi s t urn ed toward him an d fixed her eyes intently “ on hi s The sorrow has only Shown me how great can be the j oy The mistakes have only proved h ow lasting can be the successes The petty has but thrown the large into relief Perhaps it is a heritage from my mother that I should strive to forget the suff ering of life in its gain Yes Mr Ashburton I think I ” am an optimist .
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John arr anged to dine at Lady M arweir s table that night an d met th at lady in the hall just before dinner a s she was waiting for Leonida to appear H e intr oduced hi mself to ’
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1 53
T HE
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her
with his usual quiet ease yet She had an uncomfortable feelin g that the sharp eyes be hind his invariable glas ses had instantly foun d out how badly her hair was dyed “ Thi s is a great pleasure Mr A shburton “ She assured L eonida has him volubly spoken of you s o often Dear child how ” lovely She is lookin g isn t she ? “ I don t think she looks lovely my dear — C oun tess return ed John smiling he had di v in ed at once that thi s was the sort of woman who woul d like t o be addressed as “ “ ” ” C ountess I think she is lov ely “ O f course of course My family h ave Black an d white ar e always b een h and some It will n ot be long b efo re s o becomin g t o her H ow nice the sh e l eaves me I am afraid C arnifexes h ave been t o her h aven t they ? Is C arri e C arnifex still p retty ? I never kn ew Living in London an d on the C on her w ell tin en t exc ept for th e seas on on e s ees s o little One of p eopl e wh o ar e n ot in on e s ow n set of my boys w as once d evoted t o h er but I ,
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Lady M arweir began to enjoy herself S ev eral p eople at the long vulgar promi scuou s table d hOte had turn ed and stared excitedly .
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tess
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h ad
taken special care to remark to an acquaint ance in the lift that her fri end Mr A shbur ,
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just been stopping with Lo r d Ludovic W idmore the Pr emi er s s on at O uchy Pres ently too John ordered s ome ch ampagn e an d her s pirits ro se still higher S h e turned in surprise t o Leonida as the girl with an al mo st studied c ar el essn ess refused the wine “ Why don t you take some dear sinc e Mr A shburton is so kin d ? It i sn t bad f or the complexion and you seem tired She does t oo much entirely t oo much M r A shbu rton an d I sh all look t o you t o be very firm w ith ’
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care for an y win e thank you said L eo n id a quietly A sudden sh arpness “ had crept into her voic e And you know it I do
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1 56
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A NOTH E R CONTRA ST is bad for
hould
n ot
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u o y
your digestion grandmother I risk takin g an y more if I were .
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very sil ent for the rest of the meal Just before they ro se to leave the table Lady M arweir noted the fact “ she ex You look so gr aVe Leon ida “ claimed p etti shly It i sn t natural in a girl You ve got your poor dear of your y ear s mother s unfort unate n ature Goodn ess knows what I v e sufi ered with my children Mr A shburton H er voice grew tearful an d she took out her handkerchief forgetting t o hold it so that John could n ot see its coarse cotton “ an d imitation l ace M y life has been on e long misery I m sure n o mother ev er sacri ficed as much as I There h as n ot been a singl e d egr ad ation or di sgr ac e that I h av e n ot undergone L eonida rose suddenly She was very white in the gl are of the el ectric light “ ” C ome grandmother ! she s aid with still “ that cu rious sharpness in her voice We She w as
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1 57
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have quite finished an d the air will be pl eas ” an ter outs ide John lingered behind for a m oment to give s ome order When he went after them into th e entrance hall L eonida w as waitin g for him alone “ My gr andmother has a headache an d has ” gone t o h er room for the rest of the evening “ she said mech anically I am go ing up t o h er for a few moments to see that she is comfort Will you meet me her e in about ten abl e min utes from now ? I wan t to say somethin g ,
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John found some words ri sing impul sively to h is lip s ; but she turn ed quickly fr om him an d di s app ear ed When they met again a few moments l ater he felt a sort of d r ead at the str ange l ook in her face There w as s omething in it that sp ok e of C ath erine M on t ed on ic o S h e c arr ied a shawl in h er h and an d she let h im put it ar oun d h er Then sh e m oved towar d the do or .
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8 15
C ROW N
M ISFIT
THE
— Do do
u nn i s t ly hard nk my m r o t hi a e y — unkind ? Y ou see w e will n ever speak of — — these things again only I am s o young an d ignorant an d advice would help me so much “ N0 littl e lady I don t think you are ” hard “ ” “ I try so hard Leonida went on sadly to see the right ; an d I know th at my duty is to be v ery true an d v ery tender I am gl ad you d o n ot think me hard W e mu st never sp eak — of it again ; only d on t don t “ ” — N o I understand John replied gently A silence fell upon them Leon ida cl osed her eyes S he li sten ed w ear ily t o th e beat of th e wat er on th e st ones It w as s o s oothin g an d co ol s o d a rk an d qui et ! John b r oke the stillness H is voi ce w as as cl ear an d strong as ever but he spoke in an unn at urally l ow tone “ ” “ Leonid a he said I d o n ot think that a mi stake I onc e made in r egar d t o you in E n g l and n eed make us necessarily str an ger s In fact I like t o feel th at we ar e good fr ien ds a e
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1 60
A NOTH E R CON TRA S T think you c ould put your head ” — for a little ? an d cry H e s aw her breast ri se and fall suddenly ; her h and s tightened about each other con v ul siv ely S he t urned t o him with a sad littl e min g an d the te ars rain smil e her ey es swim ing down her cheeks Don t down
o u y
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L ady M ar weir kept her room more an d more as the days went on She would appear s om etimes late in the a fternoon an d go ssip t o John A shburton of her p ast glories an d her present fall But she decreased in energy so visibly that L eonida encouraged her to remain up stairs an d tri ed to whil e aw ay the hours for her as best she could John kept them plentifully supplied with flower s an d the girl arr anged a comfo rtabl e s ofa by th eir s ingl e window which h ad a vi ew an d pil ed it with r s oft e v cu hion A w k ft r Joh tt s s e n s ee a p a dven t th e old l ady l eft her room scarc ely at all but w as c ontent to h ave L eonida r ead to her fr om the s ociety p aper s an d bru sh her hair .
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1 61
T HE
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by the hour H er requirements were v ery arduou s for her m aid had left h er for unp aid wages an d she w as growing more an d more weak an d exacting day by day H er splendid s pirit w a s begin ning to fail her an d h er tired .
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mind w as weary of pr etending even t o her self J ohn Ashburt on however was quietly en joying himself He had a fund of good b ooks an d L eo n ida w as free t o be with him f or a t least a couple of h ours each d ay She h ad at first smilingly urged him to move on t o s ome pl ace less boresome ; but he could see the r e lief his presence g av e her Weary from her l ong con fin ement in her grandmother s r oo m for she car ried Lady M arw eir s meal s t o h er — sh e w ould c ome every d ay an d sh ar ed them t o him in the middl e of th e after n o on an d th ey would make small excur si on s together or take l ong w alks un til dinner time wh en the c oun tess stir red fr om h er r est an d h ad t o be J ohn c ould feel how amu sed f or th e ev en in g th e ment al rel ax ati on an d the ch an ge of scen e ,
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that Leonida She asked on e day as the girl came in to darken her room an d arran ge h er f or the afternoon n ap S he was dressed in ,
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noon an d night ; an d her h at an d sun shade “ were the last of her slim stock Y ou go out every afternoon in that h at t oo Mr A sh ,
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burton will be growing sick of it “ I don t think he notices L eonida smiled — grandmother M y my other things ar e pret ty w ell w orn out “ All the better retorted the old l ady “ p r omptly Th e l ast time I w as in a sh op her e I saw a l ov ely w hite lin en evident ly fr o m P aris an d p riced mo st r idicul ously low I .
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w ant you t o
have it Leonida w as silent “ ” Lady M arweir went on T o be su re sear ching f or her h andk er chi ef w ith a p r es “ — age of c omi n g tear s t o be su r e I supp ose I sh all h ave t o go w ithout th at peign oir if you i h n u i n t e M it Did u e it w d o w a t a o s e e t y g clin s L eon ida ? It s a l ov ely shell pin k .
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1 64
ANOTH E R CON TRA S T chi ffon you know Pink has alw av s been be comi ng t o me Oh dear wh at does it matter I m a ch anged woman an d my anyw ay ? If my children h adn t skin s completely gone made me sacrifice every moment of my life to th em I wouldn t be at a loss for a decent peignoir n ow The scene began in earnest It was s ome time before Leonida could dry her grand mother s tears an d then she rubbed the tired head until the old l ady slept It took an hour from her afternoon freedom an d she looked paler than usual as she j oined John A shburton down stairs H e glanced at her keenly “ Wh at was the matter L eonida ? They were standing on the s teps of the hotel She t urn ed her face away an d abs orb ed her self in O p enin g her p ar as ol th at h e might n ot see h er lip s quiver .
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N othing Grandmother did n t go to sl eep ” quite as pr omptly as usual ’
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Have
o u y
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1 65
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id John
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M ISF IT
THE
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“
walked along what a gl oriou s afternoon thi s is ? Look at the blue of the l ake an d rejoice Leonida ! If I could start life ov er again I d be a woman an d hav e blue eyes But n ow I must tell you where I m going t o take you t o d ay F or long that spidery funicul aire h a s fascin ated me an d N al er the all powerful has di scovered that it go es up t o a place called M ont P elerin wh ere there is a hotel an d a vi ew The hotel pl ease heaven includes tea ” C ome on ! Leaning back in the little car of the fun icu l ar railw ay w atching the t own th e vin eyar ds an d th e l ake sp r ead mor e wid ely bef or e h er Leonida drew a l ong breath every moment A cool breeze fresh an d b eg an t o feel rested ened t he a fter no on h eat a s they ro s e high er an d on e or t wo di s t an t p eak s seemed t o come ,
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in t o nearer V iew T h ey got out at a small wayside stati on an d s tar ted f or th ei r w alk t o th e h otel ov er a g ood mo un tain r o ad It w as bordered on on e sid e by a low wall an d J ohn made Leonid a c om .
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M ISF IT
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much of them except when I v e run down to T om f or w eek ends Geo fi ry is doing fa mously in the west I hear H e s one of the finest specim en s I know Geofl ry C arni ’
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father wan ts him to come home for s ome holi days thi s autumn but Geofi ry w on t hear of it He s fall en head over heel s in love with the life an d can t bear th e thought of l eav ing H e s a trump ! If ever I h ave nervous pro s tration from li stenin g t o C arrie or talkin g t o Rufus I sh all send for Geofi ry an d the mer e sight of him will r evive me Leonida l aughed ; an d in after years John rem embered th at h er l augh had been a little forced “ What about Rufus ? H e p aused a mom en t before he an sw ered ’
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ANOTH ER CONTRAST Rufus is chan ging You left him a pedan t There w ere and you will find him a schol ar t wo distin ct po ssibil ities f or Rufus E ither he woul d h ave gotten over hi s religiou s man ia an d become a ch eap imitation of Geofi r y or he woul d have lo st hi s frill s dug un d erneath t o solid ground an d begun to work in earnest The book was bound to be either a phase or re He has in both cases cho sen the a fixt u latt er course He wil l never be interestin g an d his books will never sell ; but his work will be thoroughly an d c arefully done Sincerity excu ses a multit u de of sins “ ” Poor Rufus ! Leonida sai d a little sadly He always strikes me as not being human ,
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I know n o on e with more human fail ings He is do gmatic he is egotistical he is vain he is sensitive True h e has always greatly sufi ered from compari son with Geof “
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1 69
C R OW N
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THE
chief title to fame wil l be that of Geo ffry s brother “ You kn ow you an d I have always di s ” agr eed a littl e about Rufu s sh e an swered “ smiling Y ou look upon him as an un c on d i tion al bore ; I on the contrary think him an unusually determined and rather fin e man I have been forced into admiration time an d time again “ N ot of the Retrogression of Modern C hris tian ity L eonida “ N 0 n ot of the book itself but of the eff ort th at is making it With every on e an d every — thin g with even his own sen se of hum or if — he h as on e l aten t s omewher e ag ain st hi m Rufus is determinedly goin g on I call it rather fin e as I say ; p erhap s bec ause it is I l ean s o w eakly such a c on trast t o my self t o the beautiful an d the attr active an d the p oetic side of life ; an d Rufus w ith his grim ’
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— P uritan unin t erestin g, if you w ill
resolve makes me a trifl e ashamed o f myself “ Dear child you hav e ideali sed Rufus be .
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1 70
So
C R OW N
M ISFIT
THE
do I First of all t o a n ature like his our d ear L ady C arnifex is exqui site torture And she does sum him up so deliciou sly ! There is a woman Leonida with that mo st — extr aordinary thing a sen se of humor of which she is n ot consciou s The consequen ce is that it never do es her an y go od an d yet ” sh e is alw ay s amu s ing other p eopl e v astly They w ere silent f or a while J ohn s thought s went involunt arily b ack t o a Sun day in E ngl and when he had lean ed ag ainst a wall such a s thi s at C arl ey Weir an d t alked with C atherin e M on ted on ic o H ad she real i sed then what L eon ida would c ome to mean t o him ? H e smil ed a littl e as he rem embered her fear of his in fluen cin g the gi rl ; an d h e t ook up the c on v er sati on sudden ly again t o preven t him self fr om w on derin g h ow much Leonida had i n fluen ced him ” “ “ W e all h e said are so queer th at w e make the world a perfect sixp enny mus eum ” o f o d diti es ! — She smiled her smile w as s o cl o se t o that .
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1 72
A NOTH E R
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mile of her mother s always a little too ” grave “ And what d o you call life itself ? Life my d ear Leonida is the process of elimination It is the siftin g of the gold from It is the selection of the fit from the dro ss the unfit Kn owing one s own self is the key to it ; an d its climu is to understand what is n ecessary an d t o let the rest go by “ ” Do you live by this precept ? ” Good heavens n o ! excl ai med John tak “ ing out his watch E xpounding a creed is more fun than believing in it I don t intend t o start a church an d name it after my self th e fir st church of John the C yn ic or anyt hing of the s ort I m t oo level headed t o be a fanatic an d n ot good looking enough to run a S und ay school But at present I would bar ” ter ev en my faith in you for a cup of tea The view from th e hotel terrace w as mag nificen t an d L eonid a revel ed in it whi le John drank some t ea which he pr onounced execra ble an d talk ed on t o amuse her H e seemed ’
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1 73
M ISF IT
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have the knack of resting her an d con trolling her thoughts H e saw th at what she needed n ow above all things was rel ax ation an d amu sem ent, an d he set t o work with a quiet steadiness of purpo se to accomplish to
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last rays of the sun had died an d on e or two stars were glowing through the purple t wilight when they left the railway at M on treux and slowl y w alked homew ard Leonida sighed suddenly an d t urn ed to John “ I don t know why I enjoy our aftern oo n s ” she s aid h alf l aughin g s o much “ ” Oh d on t spare me h e an swered humbly I h ave long since dis covered that the p eopl e who pretend t o think me good comp any only ask me t o dinn er when ev ery o ther man in ” London has given out ” “ L eo I sh all n ot see you again t o night nida w ent on pausing for a moment at the “ I hotel door an d holding out her hand must stay with grandm other But I shall be The
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1 74
C R OW N
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”
That was more than sweet of you ! S he repeated her voice quivering a little “ My dear child I m sure my generous good ” heart is what has ruin ed me Do try it on ! “ I will go into my own room an d fit it “ — The th e gl as s L eonida answered evas ively .
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better there When she returned a few moments l ater she w as in her dress ing gown howev er “ “ ” Grandmother she laughed I v e an awful ” piece of news for you It doesn t fit ! “ ” What ! cried Lady M arweir N 0 it s quite impo ssible N othing can be done to it I m afraid you ll h ave t o let me take it down in the mornin g an d exchange it ” fo r th at p ei gn oir you saw “ Well my dear I m s orry Still the psig noir will be v ery useful an d I d o need it frightfully .
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J O H N B E GIN S T O S CO RE
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Midi began to look
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weather was clear an d cold an d apt to be very lovely O n e night in early S eptember L ady M ar weir had a stroke of paralysi s She barely had time t o c all Leonid a t o her before she fell ,
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helpl essly t o the floor Leonida aroused a doctor in the hotel an d together they worked over the pro strate form with it s pin ched gray face an d its pitiful dyed hair until d awn Then the girl sent for John A shburton an d he hurried into Montr eux t o try t o secure an E n gli sh nur se In th e middle of the m orn i n g the ol d lady was quite con sciou s an d fai rly c omfortabl e F or the first time Leonida l eft her an d w en t in to her own room with the d octor “ ” N ow t ell me ! she said quietly T he man shrugg ed his sh oulder s with a Gallic protestatio n again st th e suff eri n g of life “ She w ill n ever w alk agai n mad emoi s ell e Y ou s ee th at for y ourself It is the w h ol e l eft .
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1 80
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JOH N B E GIN S TO S CORE s
ide
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Yet
— — may she probably will live
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L ady M ar weir slept mo st of the d ay ; an d the E nglish nurse arrived an d was in stall ed John in sp ected her carefully She w as a mid .
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A breath of air will do you good he said meeting her at their old bench by the lake “ And I went to the p atiss erie an d bought all the c ak es I could fin d with pink icing I know ” I lik pink icing h a t it u e e o ; y I would like Leonida l aughed wearily an yt hing ! I h ave had a cup of c ofi ee an d a ” stal e r oll s ince midnight “ Your grandmoth er needs a nurse an d you ” need a keeper went on John energetically “ I am going t o be as he h anded h er her t ea ,
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keeper for the present Wh at a good thing that thi s hotel stays op en all the winter Leo nid a ! It is a splendi d altit ude an d sure to help her Here w e are sitting out of doors t o day I suppo se it wiser f or you t o keep on h er e ? .
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passed her hand over her eyes as if she were trying t o conc entr ate h er thought s “ Yes I think so W e had better stop here for the present I st arted thi s morning t o telegraph my uncle Lord M arw eir you kn ow in London ; but grandmother w as con sciou s then an d she would n ot let me S he said h e only would n ot come an d that w ould put h er in such a temper that sh e w ould d ie out .
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marv el ou s her spirit is ! B ut Leo nida my dear child you must face ahead a ” — little S upp ose something happen s ? J ohn s heart sm ote him as h e sp oke S he seemed s o utterly al on e an d unpr otected “ Then I sh ould g o t o the E ngli sh p en si on — here an d stay for the winter or at l east “
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C R OW N
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noyance to her ? But hi s eyes were as steady an d keen as ever as they met her s “ And now from whom do you suppo se I had a telephone thi s morning ? From L ady — C arnifex ! Sh e s at C aux ju st above here on the mountain you know She rang me up to ask how you w ere an d when you an d I would come up to lunch eon She says she w as at Aix having dragged the t wo R ufuses ther e after supr eme eff orts but on e d ay she saw the sweetes t skating dress th ere at R ed fern s an d she bought it on the spot an d of cour se Sh e had t o use it s o she came t o C aux be cause they h ear d it w as high an d c old an d a very smart h otel an d she supp o sed of c our se there would be skating but n ow she fin d s there w on t be an y f or t wo g ood months ; an d an yw ay sh e do esn t kn ow h ow t o sk ate W hen I c ould interrupt I t old her ab out p o or Lad y M arw eir an d she was m ost symp ath eti c an d wanted t o c ome d own t o you at once I said I w as sure th at you were b etter w i th out v isi t ors for the p r esen t ; an d then she r eally m ad e an
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1 84
JOH N B E GIN S TO S C ORE most excellent suggesti on It was that in a sho r t time when you have go t ten t o know the nurse you should run up to C aux an d s pend a few da ys with her for the change an d rest You could always be reached by tele phone an d coul d get back here in an hour ; an d I shall h ave t o sta y on her e an yw ay on account of th at ben edett o Nal er I would have a carefu l eye to things ; the doctor too , assured me this afternoon there w as n o chang e likely in your grandmother for many days to come ’ Lady C arnifex also said that if you didn t come up t o see her Rufus the erudite woul d ”— come down t o see you whi ch John shook “ ” — his h ead gloomi ly God forbid ! “ Well it is Leoni da burst out l aughing v ery good of her an d if all is well I sh al l certainl y go Don t be too hard on Rufus though Your coming was an event ; his ” would only be an incident “ N ow Leonida don t flatter the aged ! You know well that t o be an event in my tenderest point I would rather be dead than common the
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1 85
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By the way Lady C arnifex says that she is quite conv inc ed th at Rufu s is in love ” with you I am gl ad he is growing human L eonida had ri sen to go in She t urned aside an d smiled , rather ab sently before she an sw ered “ Don t pl ace any stock in Lady C arnifex s romances She thought onc e that Geofi ry was in love with me J ohn was silent H e watched the smoke of his cigarette curl upward in the cri sp cold “ I think myself that it is a pity that air ” ’ Geofi ry w asn t in love with you he said at “ ” — last ; but he wasn t ! place
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Lady M arweir continued in very much the sam e c ondition as the next d ay s p assed The doctor s prediction that n o change w as immi nent seemed about t o be fulfil led A s for Leonida she grew s o startlingly p ale an d J ohn ur ged the vi sit t o C aux so in si stently th at she finally gave w ay ; an d one afternoon the tw o set out Leon ida leaving man y fin al .
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O h well my dear it do esn t make any di ff erence whether it s plain s or mountains when it s at that distance I w ant hi m here ’ Geofl ry s s o nice to travel with Mr A shbur — Al l the girl s t on you c an t thi nk how ni ce fall in love with him Leonida my dear child take s ome more cake ! N ow I want to hear It s a p erfect m ercy your grand everyt hing mother s just the same We ll send you back s o f at an d ro sy an d meanwhile we ll giv e you rned such a good time that your h ead will be t u Thi s is an awfully nice hotel isn t it ? And There are lots of p eople the food is so good I suppo se you on e kn ows st eppin g here heard that the W idmores are here didn t you Mr A shburton John had been spied out by several p eople congregated in the hall an d with a little apology to L ady C arnifex he w ent t o sp eak ’
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wonderful the w ay he s run after “ ” Th ey th at man ! she exclaimed to Leoni d a say he kn ow s mor e p eople th an an y on e in “
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1 88
JOH N B E GIN S E
TO
S C O RE
urope When I first heard th at he was at Montreux of course I said he w as in love with you But then I realised he was far too pun c tili ous to stay on if he really d id care for you An d n ow his man has sprained his ankle an d H e w as alw ays suppo sed to be ever ythi ng ! — in love with Al ice Trehern e you know M rs Tommy Treherne She rattled on telling L eonida who the peo l a s s e th t p d w r comm nting on th ir a e e e e e p frocks and diverting the girl intensely There w as s omething very lovable about h er kind pretty luxurious little Lady C arnifex ; when Leonida went up to her room she found a lovely black chi ff on gown laid out on the bed for her an d beside it a clu st er of gardenias from Sir Rufus There had been nothing for .
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g otten They were a very merry p ar ty at dinn er E ven Rufu s unbent a little an d contradicted his mother with more spirit than u su al “ Isn t it h orr id that Mr A shburton will go down t o Montreux t o n ight said Lady C ar .
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M ISF IT
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beating time on the table to a gay “ French valse W e could have so much more fun if he stayed Sir Rufu s h ates all this you know Leonida an d so do es young Rufu s too N ever mind you an d I will enj oy our I think men are awfully selfish any selves n ifex
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My dear L ady C arnifex protested John sipping hi s champ agn e with evident enj oy “ ment don t be so hard on us ! Remember how un selfish I have been in my life I have pitied your lovely sex so much that I have ” foreg one mar riage “ Y ou w o uld h ave been div or ced by n ow if r oo a h a m ri e d Y o n v r c o uld h v s t d a o u d u e e e y a l ot of c rying b abies an d ec on omy an d a bad c ook And that s almost alw ay s what mar “
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mean s Y ou re the kin d of man wh o likes a g ood meal but w on t stand kn owing h ow it s prepar ed N ot that I mean t o d is c ourage you tw o y oun g p eopl e I thin k mar riage is p er fectly sw eet d on t you Mr A sh burton riage
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may be found in tho se pages It is an d has been an d will be my supreme eff ort And when it is complete I shall have reached the ” prime of my manhood Leonida an d John A shburt on glanc ed at A certain strength which comes each other only from labor seemed to h ave come to Rufu s “ I h O pe you ll finish it before you re an old ” man Sir Rufus grunted scepticall y turning hi s attention from his dinn er for a moment “ Oh my dear Rufus the boy can t grow ” much older than he is n ow ! said Lady C ar “ n ifex huflily Why he s seventy fiv e already But what is youth after all ? Only a question ” of a good skin or a bad “ ” “ I think put in L eonida th at youth an d A s E m er s on age ar e a qu esti on of ideal s say s in the heyd ay of y outh an d p oetry w e see that ideali sm may b e tru e ; th en th e face o f life w ax es stern an d gr and an d w e s ee th at ” it mus t be true “ And I think y outh is a questi on of futil e ” s aid kick s an d age is a matter of agr émen ts .
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1 92
JOH N B E GIN S TO S C OR E “
John smiling But S ince Rufus s book wil l undoubtedly give him the development he ’
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After th ey had their co ff ee Leonida an d the t wo R ufuses wrapp ed up an d went out to see the moonlight on the l ake below John pro fessed he woul d enjoy it during his trip back t o M ontreux an d pr eferred t o sit an d h av e a fin al chat with L ady C arnifex in the warm bright hall “ ” I think the moon is lov ely of course that lady began when they were comfortably set tled an d she had gotten her ch air in the glow “ but when you go out to of a becoming light ; see a thing that w ay it s alw ays disappoint ing d on t you think ? Sort of made to order I mean And then the wind blow s my hair N ow d o tell me about that terribl e old L ady ” M arweir Mr A shbu rton ,
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John examin ed the ash of hi s cigar critic “ My dear lady you see for yourself ally how tired Leonida looks and you can easily guess that her life isn t parti cularly j oyful I have seen Lady M arweir only three or four times since I came W e all dined together the night of my arrival an d sh e began t o feel ill that very evening I remember S he ap r only onc or ic a ft e r th t t w ea e d a e e p “ They tell th e mo st awful stories of her in ” said Lady C arnifex in an London awe “ Drin k an d m orphine an d I struck whi sp er d on t kn ow what all Th at poor darling child ! What are w e to d o Mr A shburt on ? H er mother never coul d have kn own the truth or she w ouldn t hav e w anted L eoni da t o be with ” her grandmother “ I m n ot so sure M adam e M on ted onico had a str ong idea of dut y an d the old c oun tess ” is cl early s ome one s duty “ B ut Leonida is so y oung an d s o l ovely an d sh e puts on h er cl othes s o w ell ! Oh dear I ” w i sh she w ould c om e an d live with me ! ,
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If
I had married people would have called me flirtatious whereas as it is I am simply call ed agreeable There is a vast di fference ,
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If I had married I would have been a simile ; ” as it is I am a hyp erbol e verging on batho s ” “ I am n ot sure what b atho s is said L ady “ C arnifex cautiously ; but it sounds like a kin d ” of bath s oap John laughed ; then suddenl y he look ed up ” Wh en is Geofi ry coming home ? “ Oh I don t know I m sure I don t be liev e for a good year yet though There isn t an y woman s o far as I c an m ak e out ; h e s s imply mad a bout th e h or ses an d the life I d o wi sh he w ere at h ome I mi s s him d r ead fully There is no on e in the world quite like ” G eoffry “ It is a pity that he is n ot c oming h ome “ John murmured half under his breath A great great pity Well my dear Lady C ar n ifex my time is gr owin g sh ort The l ast train for M ontreux starts in half an h our And here come th ose star gazers by the w ay ,
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1 96
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JO HN BEGINS TO SCORE I hate to
leave you all but I dare not desert my pro strate N aler H e has a pill or some thing to take before he goes to Sleep ; an d if I don t write out a reminder for him on a conspicuou s piece of p aper I find he forgets it Did you ever hear of a pill for a sprained ankl e ? “ ” Oh well you can t tell Lady C arnifex “ Science is so awfully shook her head wi sely clever don t you think ? I suppose it works down to his ankle while he s asleep in s ome Leonida my dear I hope you didn t way ” catch cold ! Leonida an d John had a few words alone in a qui et corner of the h all before he started “ ” N ow you re not going to be lonely ? he asked as he dr ew on his glov es She glanced up at hi m with a worn tired little smil e an d he saw that her eyes were ” “ I shall mi ss you she swimming with tear s “ I v e grown to depend on you said S imply Mr A shburt on You ll telephone if there is the slight est change
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O f course And you will fin d a lot to Lady Ludovic W idmor e a amu se you h ere great friend of mine is going to speak t o you to morrow By th e way do you see the dif ference I mean in Rufu s ? It s quite interest ing an d worth observ ing “ Y es said Leonida thoughtfully ” “ I wonder how it will en d ? w ent on John “ In cases like thi s th e subj ect do esn t count H e is quite an d the work h e puts into it do es right in sayin g it is his process of develop ment the book I am s omewhat going over H e is t o your way of thinking Le o n ida doing a boresome tas k rather finely H e do es The he w ants truth n ot care f or O pinion great question to my pro saic mind is will he It may turn out on e of tho se ev er fini sh it ? sad eases th e unin ter esting respectability o f l abor without the dignity of achievement .
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1 98
TH E
RE TRO GRE SSION
T HAT night
at
M ODERN
OF
C aux
CH R I S TIA N IT Y
lways stood out in
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Leonida s memory She slept very litt le an d fin ally just before dawn she wrapped h erself in her dressing gown an d drew a chai r to the window The stars h ad not quite died an d looked strangely wan an d brill iant in the deep purple Wreaths of cloud hung low upon the ’
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mountain s an d a great cal m seemed drawn over the sleeping world E very now an d then a c ow bell tinkl ed from a d i stant p asture ; otherwi se the stillness was unbroken Almo st involunta rily the girl sank on her knees an d prayed ,
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A Sharp kn ock came on her door at seven o clock Before Leonida could answer it she knew wh at had happened It was a telephone message from John A shburton to say that ’
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Lady M arweir had had an other strok e of p araly sis shortly after midn ight and th at while conscious she was sinkin g r apidly They h ad w aked Lady C arnifex an d she came to L eonida at once with every o ff er of h elp and sympathy H er maid hastily put the girl s things together an d looked out the first train t o Montreux it l eft in fort y min utes ,
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Shall be down l ater in the mo rning my dear child D o look out for yourself ! Gray will see you safely into M r A shburto n s han ds an d you are t o keep h er as long as you w ant A s L eonida an d the m aid p assed thro ugh the entrance h all Rufus C arnifex hurried after I
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m goin g down with you to Montreux he said “ ” Y ou! L eo n ida stO pped short “ Yes ; I p articularly w an t t o ; an d I can lo se “
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M ISF IT
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he said sarcastically Leonida Why on eart h did he come ? “ I don t kn ow I m sure But he meant it very kindl y an d he has lo st a whole morning s ” work It do es not h elp to let him irritate one “ ” H e is an intol erable nuisance ! B e careful Mr A shburt on ! Lady C arni fex told you you kn ow th at he w as in love ” with me ! They ran up the hotel step s panting John “ laughed as he tri ed to get his breath Oh “ ” I resp ect your bo sh l he replied cheerful ly ” good judgment too much for th at ! .
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good friend t o Leonid a that day John A shburton Lady M arweir w as per fectly con sciou s an d n ot sufi er in g Pillows of sh abby pink silk b ehin d h er a t orn l ac e coverlet over her her hair carefully arranged an d on e quiverin g h an d plucking at the l ace at her thro at she fought death all d ay with an indomitabl e spirit wort hy of h er r ac e an d Wh en the even in g began t o fall of her p ast a
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M OD E R N
her fl ame
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life flickered an d burned low ; an d ju st as the c alm early winter moon w as ri sing she died It w as John who did everyt hing H e saved Leoni da every po ssible p ain an d Shielded her from every detail Lady C arnifex had arrived rom C aux an d put the girl to bed at once f for She was completely exh au sted from the strain an d excitem ent It was arranged that L ady M arweir should be buried in the little “ E ngli sh cemetery at Montreux Don t cart ” me back to E ngland ! She had told Leonida “ My vi siting list has dwindled so that there would be no on e worth speaking of to come ” to my funeral So it w as settled And the next morning but on e they lai d the weary broken body to rest of
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O n the afternoon following the fun eral L ady C arnifex who h ad settled her self tem i r r l a o h Montr x hot l nt for a t t e s u e e e p y John to come to her sittin g room There he found Leonida awaiting him alone She was str etched out on the sofa a white sh awl over ,
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an d s
ome red ro ses he had giv en her on a tabl e beside her There were great dark rings under her eyes an d her mouth was very tremulou s .
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I have been longing to see you said John “ gently But I am gl ad Lady C arn ifex h as made you rest Poor little girl ! S he passed her hand over her brow “ ” I Sh all be all right she answ er ed w earily O nly I must have a littl e time to collect my — I I am n ot going to try t o thank you self Mr A shburton It would be almo st belittling wh at you h ave done But believe me I shall never forget it John to ok her h and in both of h is an d p atted it gently “ T h er e is than k God never an y questi on of than ks betw een friend s A s I have been ut ter ly usel es s for half a century w hy n ot let me d o s ome on e the smallest of services before I g o my w ay ? It may p ass me in t o heav en ” n u o k o w y Leon ida l o oked up at him an d smiled ,
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2 06
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THE
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widow of a clergyman and is a shelter for — — many lone females se so “ So nothing Leonida Youmu st come away ” from thi s place You can t be left here alone ! “ But I would r eally rather stay I have promised Lady C arnifex that if no O pening occurs to me before spring I will go home an d pay her a long vi sit at C arley then An d if I need an y help at any time I shall send her word Indeed I sh all “ John sighed Well my dear chi ld I h ave thought it all over and if you insi st upon st ay ing the winter out here stay you must But I may as w ell break the n ew s t o you th at T om an d I are g oin g t o co n stitute o ur selv es y our g uardi an s O n ce a mo n th on e of us will c ome here t o see h ow you ar e gettin g on an d t o arrange all y our bus in ess matter s f or you ” Y ou will simply hav e t o grin an d bear it A gr eat lump came into Leo n ida s thr oat She tri ed t o sp eak but the word s w ould n ot c ome “ O f c our se w en t on J ohn smilin g you ,
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understand there is safety in numbers S in gly either T om or I woul d be questionabl e .
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C ombined we form an invincible trust com pany W e shall worr y about you and fuss over you t o our hearts content ; an d our eyes will never be ofl you remember that ! My only fun in going hom e will be the pro spect in a month s time of sendi ng you a C hri stmas box I shall begin to pack it at once I shall buy Ro stand an d violet water an d han dker chiefS an d cakes with pink icing an d every thi ng else I can thin k of What sport it w ill ,
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would rather h av e a good talk with you ” than any Chri stmas box said L eonida t ry “ ing to l augh And I d o love Ro stand an d violet w ater ! They all p arted from her that night as their train was to leave very early John made ev ery po ssibl e arran g ement for her com fort an d security an d threatened t o come back t o see her in tw o week s tim e Ju st before h e left her she Showed him a little memorandum ,
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C R OW N
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D ear Leonida it r an be sure ” my full title put on my tombstone ,
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Wh at a remarkable woman she was ! said L eonida as She folded the bit of p ap er aw ay “ H er courage and h er will taught me s o ” much John held her hand in hi s as if he were very lo ath to let it go “ You have plenty of courage an d will of ” “ your own he answ ered And plenty of — mind t o operate them t oo But don t Oh my ” — dear Leonida d on t be quixo tic ! “ ” Why ? asked L eon id a smilin g B ec au se it will lead you in t o horribl e thi ngs Your dresses will alw ays be made of what other p eople d on t want an d c on se quen tly ugly Y our serv an t s w i ll always be — un fort un ate an d maimed an d c on sequen tly Y our con scien ce w i ll alw ays make useless — th e mo st di s agreeabl e thin gs seem duties an d c on sequen tly youw ill make your self an d every ,
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21 0
THE
C R OW N
M ISF IT
blaz ing co al s The expression of her mouth an d chin had ch anged an d that alw ay s means development of character A book lay in her lap over which she had been dreaming for an hour It w as the littl e volume of Wel sh legends which John had given her the Spring before S he had used it well for it was wornan d scarred an d marked in many places ; an d among the l eaves of the story which they h ad read al oud at C arley lay a few dri ed p an sies S he was brought t o h erself suddenly by the entr ance of the littl e Swi ss m aid with a c ard The vi sit or w as below she s aid an d asked t o .
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madem oi sell e Leonida read it in bl ank ast oni shmen t
s ee
.
“ .
Mr
.
”
Rufus C arnifex ! F or a momen t a wild fear seized her th at an d that th ey s omethi n g h ad b efall en Joh n had despat ch ed Rufus t o tell her ; but on sec ,
on d at
th ought s
,
she s
miled
at
h er
least w a s n ot qui x oti c ” Show him up sh e s aid ;
fan cy
.
Rufu s
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,
21 2
an d she
d rew
for
,
M OD E R N
CH R IS TIAN ITY
ward another chair t o the fireside There was a mirror on the mantel shelf, but she never .
v n glanced toward it as she waited Rufus came toiling laboriously up the stair s
e e
.
H e paused
the
.
door “ ” “ I think I had How d o you do ? he said better leave my overco at over th ese b anisters had I n ot ? Y ou see there is not much room at
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,
,
”
in the
hall down stairs “ It is a very good place an swered Leo “ nida holding out her hand H ow are you an d what brings you to Montr eux “ I am fairly well thank you I had an attack of in fluen za ju st before th e holidays The bad effects cling t o on e some time I find But I am almo st recovered now It is good to see you looking SO well “ ” How is your mother ? E very on e at home is quite well They have had l arge house parties at C arl ey all win t er you know I am living in rooms in town I fin d that I can concentrate more there Yes ” every one is quit e w ell -
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21 3
,
C R OW N
M ISF IT
T HE
Leonid a took up the poker and turned over s om e co al s in the fi r e “ What d o you hear from Geofi ry? “ I believe the new s is very good I never He writes such an impo ssible see his l etter s hand But from what moth er tells me he seems very w ell an d very h appy The life I suppo se there is suits him to p erfection room in the world for every sort of ” taste “ Is Geofi ry coming home did you say? “ “ said Rufu s N Geo ffry is n ot comi ng ” home There w as a p ause Then Leonid a roused h erself suddenly “ A n d n ow tell me about the book It is progressi n g spl endidly Th e first v olume is nearly c omplete an d a B ali ol man a great fr iend of min e h as r ead it an d er iti H is O pinio n of the thing as a whole c ised it is excell ent an d I am imm en sely encouraged H e says he b eli eves that ultimately it will be ” H e tu rn ed ac cep ted a s a w or k of r eferenc e ,
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21 4
THE
C ROW N
M ISF IT
dw ell on myself or my own feelings too much I have never had an y on e at home with whom I could talk symp athetically at any r ate Looking back on my lot n ow so far as it has gone it seems t o me to have been You see I w as ill an unu sually lon ely on e a great deal as a child an d ap art from all morbidness greatly mi sunderstood as a boy Geofi ry was always SO much stronger S O much more of a favorite than I Yet I have really accompli shed a good deal more than to
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he
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He r ai sed his hand
an d
tr aightened
s
an
ornament on the chimney piece “ I once heard you say L eonida that you measured a man s worth by wh at he aecom -
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l i h s e d p “
id L eonid a hoarsely Rufus covered his eyes with h is han d for “ Well such w ork as I h av e d one a moment such a man a s I am I w ant t o put bef or e you I w ant you t o kn ow ju st where my str en gth an d my w eakn ess lie I wi sh I had m ore t o Yes,
sa
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21 6
M OD E R N O ffer
CH R IS TIAN ITY
you Leonida ,
F or I
.
want to
ask
u o y
”
my wife L eonida t urned away an d looked thought fully Out of the window The cri es of some children pl aying in the street below broke
t o be
.
.
,
,
Sharply
on
litt le floor
an d
a
,
the
tillness
s
The
.
Shi fting
was
its
sun
faded
had
patterns
on
the
.
S he was
Silent for S O long that Rufus be h hi n fi e s t e drum n rvou ly with ng r on a t o e s s g mantelpiece Fin ally She spoke “ ” Do you love me ? she asked slowly H is face changed “ Yes L eonida I love you so much th at you have influenced the trend of my whole life My work has been the principal thing in the world to me in the past N ow I find myself wondering as I write what you will think of it all an d h ow it will appeal to you Wh at ev er I accompli sh you are respon sible for I ” only wish I had more t o give you “ It is r ath er Leonida l ooked at him fix edly I who should try t o be worthy of the gift ,
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15
21 7
— Weeks when
I
see
pment
way of
dev elo
my own
how and
unworthiness
.
much I
need
in the
— an d edu cation
I do
not
mean
then
to
say
practical ones B ut you are put ting the ba t of your man hood in to a noble eff ort and if I .
,
Then
— — Leonida you will marry me ?
Yes,
answered Leonida quietly,
,
marry you
“
I
will
” .
held out her han d an d he raised it to hi s lip s Then She ro se an d stood beside him Her eyes w ere on th e shabby little volume she held ; she lifted them suddenly to his fac e “ — Do you believe that that symp athy and tenderness an d und erstanding are as goo d as ” love ? she asked impulsively “ ” he answered They are love Leonida gravely She
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TH R E E
B O OK
I TH E
F IR
ST
REA CTIO N
”
questi on is ob served L ady C arnifex “ thoughtfully are they happy ? S he was sitt ing on the terrace at Monte C arlo talking t o John A shburton It was a brillian t M arch morning ju st tw o years after L eonida s marri age to Rufus C arnifex The sun bl az ed down on the sea with the fier cen ess of a m ore N orthern Jun e the air wa s l ad en with the scent of orange blo ssoms L ady C ar ni fex s at on on e of the m arbl e benches her pink cloth dress arranged in fold s with im maculate c are an d sh e gl anced from time t o time at the gay throng p as sing by A band w as pl aying in the di s tan ce an d the very atmos phere s eem ed l aden with life an d bril TH E
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lian cy
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22 1
M ISFIT CR OW N
T HE
My dear lady,
J ohn pleasantly, you that they have had t wo years in whi ch A ll y oung over their disappointment ”
forget t o get
“
said
.
married people
disillusionised They are p robably now settling d own into calm He did
omehow
not
have to be
S peak
with
.
much
o viction, A shburton c n
age
He had
d, John His hair was more whi te than black now, and his face mo re heav ily lined “ ’ Lady C arnifex sighed It is n t Rufus who ’ If I were she I worries me it s Leoni da would have been bored to distraction long ago Sitting with folded hands in an ob scure Ger — man village for t wo soli d years tw enty fo ur ” — let me see how m any weeks ? solid mon ths “ ” “ Oh d on t ! implored John It s quite b ad ” enough without th at “ I never could multiply anyway Why she di dn t even h ave a chance t o wear her trous Mr A shburton And I really seau thing s d on t see th at thi s complete is ol ation from out as he s ays in his lett ers h a s side annoy ances s
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22 2
M IS FIT
T HE
“
I do wish I could
father,
an
yway
J ohn smil ed M arian a s M ther
.
“
Cons istenc y is
.
-
as
-
infi
ngth n sisté ncy is the charm h
e stre
'
no se ; inconsistently Leonida persuaded ” herself t o marry him “ Then you believe She simply persu aded her ” self th at She wanted t o mar ry him ? ” “ N ot exactly John wrinkled his brow I think Leo n ida s character is t oo complex t o be judged in that way S he is a m ass of sen sation s an d very d elic ately an d finely m ade What was wanting in her at the time Rufus — wis hed to marry her wa s a a m otor power — She felt she w as u seless without ti es an d ’
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224
FIR S T R EA C TION
T HE
without respon sibility S o She wrote out the word Duty with a ca pital D hyphened Rufu s s ” name on to it an d marri ed him “ I m sure I wouldn t h ave ma rried R ufu s for anything ab stract like that even if he is my own son It would have taken mo re money or po sition th an he will ever h ave or som ething o f th at s ort t o m ake me willing t o look at him for the rest of my days ; but I don t know th at even a hou se on the corner of Gro svenor Square an d Brook Street would have made me ” li sten to him John evidently wanted t o ch ange the subj ect “ W e must give her some good tim es thi s sea “ ” he s aid If th e hou se is at s on in L ond on tractive she ought to entertain a little L ady ” C arn ifex Y ou will h ave t o m an age th at “ Yes I am c oming up from C arley after Whitsunday ; an d if Rufu s m akes a fu ss I sh all b ox his ear s I Shall take her t o my dressm aker an d m ake her give a series of I wish or dinn er s or something ev ening s .
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they
h ad
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a
child Mr A shburton .
225
” .
So do
I .
A s I hav e character
It would do
t old you,
oft en
is
much I
for them both
.
think
Leonida s
— very dormant one Side
still
v yet liv ed ” “ Perhaps it nev er will live !
her has
’
ne er
of
.
said
La dy
it is boun d to And I thin k it is the keyn ote of the Sit uat ion bet ween them uestion is not whether I should say that the q th ey are happy, but what is going to form ’ Leonida s happiness in the f ut ure L ook at that woman in blue, who is She ? S he seems vaguely familiar Lady Ludovic W idmore by Jove ! L ady C arnifex r uflled her small person sud denl y into a whirlwind of excitement “ And that is the man ! Wh at an aff air it has b een ! Do you suppo se She will get her ” divorce from her hu sband ? “ I fancy She will It is the inevitable out come th at She Should marry thi s ch ap I sup po se She ha s been an unhappy woman for years You see She found out after she was O h, yes, it will ;
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22 6
M ISFIT
T HE
CR OW N
John smiling No, I don t think idealism helps I think the whole secret may be summed — up in one word companions hip O f course f r n a l r l o p p t h v i s o s a o u w i t as e t e u n eo e t t t g y orange blossom s ; the begin ning is very apt t o be hilarious The danger comes when the gilt has worn O H, and she forgets that he likes bacon for breakfast and he forgets that she ’ can t stand the smell of a pipe If, at this l o f e r io fi rs t m i s u n d r s t a ndin t h y u d e d o e w p g only take their good tim es together and enjoy the same things many coming storms would blow themselves out A s it is a sort of stag nancy takes the place of enthusi asm an d the mo st fatal danger of the matrimonial sea be falls them ; th ey begin to drift After that it is S hort work S h e fin d s th at her soul h as found it s true mate in the fir st good looking man who comes al ong ; and he persuades him s elf th at s ome wom an wh o read s Ib sen under Act next : the st an ds him better th an she divorce court Act next : further di sillusion Act next : repetition of the whole isemen t “
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2 28
THE
F IR S T R EAC TION
bu siness A ct l ast : w ell let us say purgatory P ersonally I should rather go to purgatory th an either heaven or hell E xtremes are t oo ” violent for my old age “ “ ” said L ady C arnifex It I don t kn ow has alw ay s seemed to me that hell woul d be rather sm art and heaven rather ordinary but that purgatory would be fearfully middle cl ass Divorce is awful though It woul d be splendid if s ome n i ce good looking unm arried bishop were to start a cru sade again st it, ” wouldn t it ? “ O n e of the gr eat factor s to uproot di vorce would be t o m ake it unf ashion able Therefore I am p articularly s orry that such a woman as L ady Ludovic W idmore shoul d succum L ady C arnifex rai sed her sunshade an d “ tilted it at a becomin g angle But after all “ it s eems unjust W e she said regretfully change our religion an d our friends and our cook s an d even the color of our h air ; but we aren t allowed t o ch ange our hu sb and s It s just as if we ordered a frock an d when it came ,
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229
THE
C R OW N
M ISF IT
home from the dressm aker s found it di dn t fit I think it s rather h ard we sho ul d h ave t o w ear ’
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’
”
it forever an d know that it was all wrong They were silent for a moment ; then John ” “ said : So G eo ff ry comes home thi s spring ? “ Thank goodness yes H e expect s to j oin us in town in M ay Y ou can t fancy how gl ad I am; it s nearly three years s ince he went an d I v e almo st forgotten if he p arts his h air or n ot D ear Geofi ry ! O f course he ll fall in love with s ome girl thi s season an d m arry But I — don t care I d rath er have him m arry a a girl w ho did w ork in B erlin w ool th an go all ” the w ay out t o T ex a s again “ — B e car eful y ou d h av e to presen t her at court ! And people who work in B erlin wool ” gener ally wear it all over them “ Yes I kn ow Like livi n g in a vill a or d oi n g B ut he w on t acr osti c s in the ! ueen i sn t it ? x s e a a n I a s u o T g a i if c n t e it W ll o o t t e p g What ar e you amus e him t oo w ell for th at r h s r r A f s h n i g umm e t n d o o e M u r t t o b o o g “ I n ever pl an ahead I thin k J ohn laughed .
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230
”
Again, it depends,
“
said
John,
as
he fol
weré to be unpacked, his study to be arranged,
his doct or s
blished
esta
various
seen, and
for him .
mforts
to be
co
He had had
a sev ere at
left him with a chronic cough sleepless nights and a violent dread of the fresh air He was obliged to res t two hour s every after noon an d it was then th at Leonida relaxed an d caught up with her self She stood in her drawing room one after noon during her period of freedom and looked wonderingly about her L ady C arnifex had e e h v n a littl Fr nch touch o room with e t e i t g it s p ale green Silk dr aperies an d p aneled A white m arble chimneypiece sup W all s h ad
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232
.
T HE
F IR S T RE A C TION
ported a delicate E mpire glas s ; one or t wo charming littl e p astel s stood about ; an d the window was b anked hi gh with pink az aleas L eonida O p ened one of the leaded sashes an d looked out The gaiety of a M ay afternoon was over London C arri ages swung by peddlers of sweet lav end er called in the streets the dresses th at p assed were bright colored an d spring like an d the sun shin e str eam ed over all But she seemed str angely alone some h ow It wa s h ard t o believe th at she was n ot n e e s n a n e e n y thr ee th r a a lmo s t u a t u t t w t w y ; r al gr avity about her T o d ay she found her self wea ry an d di scord ant with all t he move ment an d life about her ; an d she felt a sudden reli ef when a ser v ant interrupted her to say th at J ohn A shbu rton w a s down stair s They h ad met once or t wice before since her return but always in the presence of other people ; an d she n ow under stood th at he had come t o really talk t o her S he held out her h and gladly ” “ I am as u su al a gras s widow ! She said .
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16
233
C R OW N
M ISF IT
THE
J ohn depo sited his hat ca refully on a ch air “ So I have ob ser v ed at thi s time of the d ay That is why I came n ow I alw ays like wives ” an d husband s sep a r ately nev er togeth er Leonid a returned t o her po st at the window an d bea t a littl e t une with her fin ger s on th e p ane “ I am not sure th at I like them even sep a ” she rem arked r ately “ Well I m glad I am unm arried my dear lady Turn around here I want to ask you a lot of questions Y ou an swer more with your ” ey es th an yo ur lip s you kn ow “ I am ready to an swer anythi n g an y w ay L eonida said with an attempt at gaiety a s she “ D o you w an t to s at b eside him on th e s ofa kn ow if Rufus an d I quarrel or if my h ai r is ” all my own ? I w ant t o know ev erything Let me see ! Germany f or tw o y ear s is r ather mon ot on ous or a very gen er al defin iti on will d o Rufus as you know h as n ot been at There wer e a few de all w ell an d v ery bu sy .
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234
M ISFIT
C R OWN
re eated
l il y oo m g
T HE
one ask 1 “
”
John
N
p
“
youre ’
Youve been bored for two years Personally, ’ I v e been bored for t wen ty S o it d oesn t much matter If you keep on at this rate you wi ll ’
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’
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,
Geofi r y had
Leonida
reached
Lond on this morning ?
rose su ddenly
to her feet
“
.
Goof
”
fry1 “
Yes, he
me unex pectedly
ca
His ship was
.
not due until to morrow youknow I thought Lady C arnifex woul d h ave sent you word I have just been lun ching with them in C adogan Square and Geoff ry said he was comin g to ” see you an d Rufu s thi s evening ” “ I am very glad said L eonida Slowly John fl ecked a morsel of dust from his sleeve ” “ “ H e has He looks very well l he remarked I s s t rown mo r e rip e th k Do n o trik e o n e i n e g The only as so healthy minded you know word that will defin e Geofi ry is m atutinal -
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236
THE
FIR S T R EAC TION
There is a huntin g song about the dawn and the horn an d the dew an d fair Phylli s an d all th at sort of thin g which alway s reminds me of ” him Leonida shook up the s ofa cushi on behind ,
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“
n him since I was married ” “ v u h o se s s ob r d S h ll h v e e e e I a a e t o e t y g Think of his coming b ack to t o know him E ngland to find a ready made s i ster in law “ H e will probably enjoy going about with u n a i o a d L dy C rnif x imm n s ly a e H e s e e y alw ays run a fter in London ; he is on e of t he mo st popular men I kn ow Almo st too popu lar Wh at Geo ff ry w ants to develop him is — s omethi ng whi ch really hurts a good big w oe ” He will get it s ome d ay “ W e all get our pain s s ooner or later said Leoni d a unoriginally “ ” T o go b ack to yourself John went on another thing th at strikes me is th at you h av e made your agr emen ts with li fe Y ouhave n ot so m any little tin god s as you u sed t o h ave I
have
n ot s ee
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237
THE
It is
a
C ROW N
M ISF IT
very healthy change if it ,
has
t aken
”
place Leonida smiled .
has
But then
.
“ .
t he
To
certain degree it
a
,
little tin gods h ave been
re
placed by big stone idols I hope never to liv e long enough to outli ve my enthusiasms Mr ” A shburton “ Then your tombstone will read : H ow sad that she should die so young ! P ersonally I w ant to d ie just as soon as I become un attract ” iv e It is bett er to be dead th an boresome said John fl ippan t ly “ D O you rem ember once sayin g to me th at ” life was largely a question of elimin ati on ? “ Ther e is on e of a sk ed L eo n id a th oughtfully y our comm andments to which I will subscribe I h av e lea rned to ca st asi de s o many thi n gs as — useless for in st ance s o m any of my O ld per n e s as do bt m t j t liv n u s u u s e l x s d O i i e a e t p .
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best on e can an d n ot go sear chin g for tr ouble I b eli eve S o you h av e c on verted me on th at p oint T hen again on e of the str o ngest t en ets of my life n ow is in the v alue of fr ien d ship ,
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2 38
M ISFIT
T HE
C R OW N
young my dear ; an d I am O ld enough to tell ” r o o u u e v e ry h nd s om e a a y y Leoni da p au sed before the m antel an d looked critically in the glass S he rai sed her h and and put b ack a little wi sp of h air behind her ear Perhap s it wa s as well that she di d n ot see that the smile in John s eyes had r eached his mouth ” “ “ What colo r she remarked should you ” say wa s mo st b ecomin g to me ? Goo d heavens give me time L eonid a said “ John piteously Whom have you d esign s on ” n ow ? a n d whi ch of your fro ck s fit s b est ? S he leaned her elbow s on t he chimn eypi ece s till l ooki n g ab sently at h er reflecti on in the “ Do you rem ember th at fir st summer glas s W ell I at C a rl ey W eir b efor e m oth er di ed ? u sed to wear white alm ost alway s then S omethi n g suddenly fl ash ed out in J ohn A shburt on s memory H e t ook up his hat an d s tick an d d r ew on h is gl oves ” “ “ If I wer e you he s aid ca r elessly I sh ould But I alw ays stick t o w hite if it pl eased me ,
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240
T HE
F IR S T R EA C TION
like a touch of color myself Why don t you wear a little blue velvet ribbon around your threat as you u sed t o ? Good by dear child Remember me to Rufus and look out for yourself I shall come again in a d ay or ’
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two “
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have never before demeaned my self by ” mindi ng other people s bu sin ess he thought “ s n rimly h w a lk e d down t a ir s d I m as e a ; g ” l fool to begin n ow ! an awfu L eonida stood idly for some moments after Then she rang for her maid he had gone an d sent her out t o R egent S treet to buy a piece of blue velvet ribbon S omehow it was ju st like Rufus th at on thi s evening of Geofi ry s home coming he should get up a sick h ead ach e an d revel in it s to rt ures ; keeping the hou se mournfully silent, an d L eonid a at his bed side with cologne water and a f an S he l eft him only long enough to eat her lonely dinn er an d then went b ack t o her po st p at iently an d quietly Th e window w as O pen an d, as she fanned hi m she could I
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24 1
THE
C R OW N
M ISF IT
hear the roar of the city and feel the cool night breez e on her cheeks The room was dark an d she could n ot see di s ti nctly but she r eal i sed at last that Rufus was sl eeping With a sigh of reli ef she dropp ed her a ching wri st in her lap H er lip s suddenly beg an t o quiv er rebelliously The servant at the door would tell any on e who came of Rufus s indispo si tion ; an d she had so wanted to see Geo ff r y ! S he had alway s liked him A soft knock at the door brought her to her feet with a start T he blood seemed to rush t o her face an d then roll away again an d her h and s shook S he lo oked at Rufu s almo st in terror but h e d id n ot stir Very gently she Mr Geoffry C arn i s lipped out of th e r oom fex w as down stair s the foo tm an s aid an d h ad in si sted on s eeing h er Leon ida gave an an gry little l augh as she caught herself gl ancin g at her own image in S he str aightened her a gl as s on the s t air s sh ould er s s pa smo d i c ally w ith th e a ction she h ad inherited fr om h er mo ther an d h eld her .
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24 2
Geofi ry “
CR OW N
M ISFIT
T HE
looked
her
v r
o e
won deringly
.
Youre changed, Leonida he said, laughing “ ’ Youre very much married, I sup again ’
.
s o e p
”
.
“
Oh,
n o,
Im ’
not
!
”
she
an swered
cooll
y
.
Do you forget that I have been locked up in Germany for two years ? O ne does not keep “
’
mells
cooking s
so
John Ashburton says youre a disc iple of ’ his an d father say s youre a brick ; and mother n g marri ed says youre the handsomest y ou woman in town I agree with her I alway s did like you in whi te And by Jove L eonida t h o u s till w e r e littl e blu ribbon round a e a y your neck don t you? You don t know how often I v e thought of that little piece of rib “
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bon
” .
L eonida glanced at him warily Then she “ r ai sed her hand to her thro at Why yes of ” “ cour se she said carelessly I remember I used to wear it when I first knew you all at ” C arley Weir I remember perfectly .
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244
,
FIRST RE A CTION
THE
There w as silence “ Well I m aw full y glad t o be home again “ I simply star v ed Geo ffr y went on briskly in Texas I can tell you though I did love the — life You d like it t oo it s all so pure an d How well mother looks simple and healthy doesn t she ? And she s so excite d about t ak ing you around I m going to court with you on Friday B ehold the return of the Western ” lion ! “ I d o hop e they ll m ake a fu ss over you ! I Should love to be related to a great man C an t you invent some stories about bear hunts or ” Indi an mas s acres ? “ My dear L eonida said Geo ff ry reprov “ you ll some d ay hear y our husband ingly H ow can you s pok en of as a great author D ear old w i sh for other adverti sement ? ” Rufus ! Is he ju st the same ? ” “ L eonida s N o I think Rufu s h as ch anged “ H e is older an d voice dropped in stinctively .
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wiser
,
ically
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an d
he h as
If he
did
good deal phys in si st upon working so
sufi er ed a n ot
24 5
THE
CR OW N
M ISFIT
hard things would be easier for him H e ought to have led the life you ve been leading A r e you going b ack to T ex as Geo ff ry .
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“
”
G eo ff ry smiled I don t know he re ’ plied I m not s ure L eonida put up her h and to screen the lamp “ li ght from her eyes Ah a lady, I suppo se ! You ll have to tell me all your love aff airs Brothers and sisters in law always do that in ” novels ’
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“
But this do esn t h appen ’
to be
a
novel
,
o u y
Mr A shburton s ay s th at life is alway s either a tr agi c fa rce or a c omic trag edy I hope my fate will be the l atter O n e would n ot mind ending up in blood if one could b e ” funny by the w ay ” “ s aid G eo ffry sl owly You ar e ch an ged Mr A shhur Y ou are n ot the old L eonid a t on wa s right Leonid a l aughed S o he said I w as .
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ch anged 24 6
.
C R OW N
M I SF IT
T HE
they re bull terr iers I am going t o Show them in the aut umn ; an d every mornin g n ow I S hall t ake them to walk in the p a rk accom s so l s a ! n i by my S i s r i n a Moth e r y a e t e w d p I sh all begin to morrow an d will call for you ” at eleven “ I am alway s bu sy in the morn in g “ ” At what ? “ I work with Rufus “ Haven t youyet learn ed that a man respects hi s wife o nl y a s long a s She keep s her self for ” hi s pl ay hour s ? S o f ar I h av e m ade a success of m arriage ” becau se I h ave n ot had to un learn anything “ ” Bo sh ! returned Geofi ry pl easantly You ll pl ease be ready at eleven I sh all r un up and see Rufus then if he c an t be di sturbed I v e got to go b ack t o mother n ow to night I promi sed to D on t you think you might t ell ” me your secret b efore I go ? “ M y dear Geofi ry my sole secret is th at I an d I d on t am ch angi n g cook s t o morrow ” w ant an y on e t o fin d it out ’
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24 8
T HE
FIRST RE A CTION
When he had said good night Geo ff r y lingered in the h all f or a moment “ — T ell me th at little piece of blue ribbon have youworn it ever since youwere married ? he asked “ Yes said L eonida faintly ,
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24 9
EOFFRY S H O ME ’
G
-
CO M I N G
trui sm so stretched th at it h as almo st become w arped that whereas a man always want s to shine a wom an is often willing to reflect Like all platitudes however this on e lo ses its eff ect in the search light of circum stance s an d som etim es b ecomes a p ar adox L eonida had never for a moment been in love with Rufu s C arnifex ; which showed th at F ar more import ant sh e she under stood him had never tried t o convinc e her self that she wa s in love with him ; which show ed that she under stood herself H er young life had been s o full of emotion al cri ses th at sh e h ad come t o look upon th e things th at produce emotion as essenti al t o living S he could n ot p erh ap s h ave worked for twen ty years to secure an en d ; but she could very easily have sacrificed her IT is
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2 53
THE
M ISF IT
C R OW N
life in twenty sec onds to save that of another person When her grandmother had died she had waited with the beautiful super stiti on of her It ali an blood for a t ask to come to her God s ometimes di sgui ses our cro ss es so un success fully th at he makes them look like duties With all the ardor and the ill judgment of her romantic untutored nature Leon ida deter mined to m arr y Rufus C arnifex S he had ended up feeling th at h er mi s si on w a s to r ead But she had started out con aloud t o him v in ced th at she wo ul d fin d t he el ixir of life ; an d thi s is a r eac t i on whi ch reb oun d s h eavily Th r oughout the t wo year s of pr osaic d rudgery t o wh ich sh e h a d sch ool ed her self she h ad never forgotten th at on ce f ar away in her s oul there h ad fallen the seed of l on ging t o fin d that A n d she kn ew w h o h ad s own it Amid elixi r t he d aily r es ol uti on s which sh e h ad made t o reflect con ten t edly the s omewh at d oubtful r h r n f r n s r r f h R ss M d e l y i C i o o e e t o e o o o t g g tian ity she still rememb er ed th at sh e had on ce .
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25 4
Ah, yes
.
Wel
hy
n ot
o g
to the
He takes Yet she did
rse cou
he is
ex
not
my
wwhy
kno
r i d e n e w p
O ne
.
bring me in some pens by the way? I will h ave one sent to your room an d please match it exactly It is most necessary that it Shoul d be the same length and ” nu ber “ A sudden impul se overcame L eonid a I am going t o the pa rk with G eo ff r y an d the ” dogs again thi s morning She said “ Really ? Then you can stop in Knights bridge on your way home can you n ot ? It is incomprehensible to me h ow G eo ff ry can find out
t o day, will you kindly -
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25 6
GEOFFRY S
H OM E
’
-
COM IN G
much recreation in these dog s And the duchess s to night I suppo se ? I hope to see I s s s lunch on though S h ll nd M t r o u a t e e a e a y to tell you whether I feel able to go down or so
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n ot
” .
S he leaned
over him
an d
put her h and on his
S houlder “ Would you rather h ave me st ay at home ” with you t o night Rufus ? Rufu s l aid down the letter whi ch he had “ ag a in tak en up Th ank you very much Leo nida but M aster s is quite competent an d for s ome rea son s I r eally prefer to dict at e to him, ” good as youhave been about helping me The Duchess of Wheatland s b all th at night was on e of the event s of the season E very on e who was any on e was there an d every on e who was no on e pretended that th ey had been asked an d had d eveloped a cold in th e head at th e last moment Leonid a had appeared several times with h er — mother in law before yet never h ad she looked lovelier th an this night H er face was never .
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257
”
Lady C arnifex
don,
bur ton,
ment s ’
men “
they
as
chat.
to her
observed
settled
John A sh
themselv es for
a
made most
And youv e
“
to
’
of
mo her
”
.
Beau B rummel !
”
said
John,
miling
s
.
ort of thing on principle B ut Leonida is lovely Th at string of pearls you gave her is mo st becoming S he is the kind of woman who How should wear j ewel s an d never j ewelry does Geofi ry get on with her as a Si ster in s
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-
law ?
Oh , I don t know I m sure They go to the p ark together every morni ng t o exerci se the dogs Per son ally I think th e dog s are too thin I told G eo ffry so ; an d he laughed an d said that ex erci se often m ade people fat So “
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25 8
v enir s oons , and
p the people who don t There are the people who do belong to the W C T U ” and the people who don t It is invariable “ ” asked Lady C arnifex Do you think, “ that you would rather do too thoughtfully ’
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much
than too little ?
TOO
“
much ;
scale of
big
ment
refin e
doesn t ’
cou nt
in the
I would rather be alive in dead in London I am no
things
Liverpool than hero
”
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”
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I v e Often thought how
“
ni ce
it would
have ” been to have lived in the time of Nero L ady “ If only on e could h ave C arnifex went on gotten up gall enough to be eaten by the lions ! I think heroism is perfectly lovely It would never h ave done for me though because my b ack hair is so Short an d it wouldn t h ave looked a bit nice flying in the aren a And in pictures the Chri sti an m aiden s alw ay s had long h air Imagine a girl with short straight wi sp s an d a fringe in the Coli seum “ E v en then they had curling tongs ! Yes but I don t beli eve they let h air ’
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2 60
GEOFFRY S
H OM E
’
-
CO M IN G
dressers go around from cell t o cell in the pri s on s do you? I once kn ew a man who sp ent his whol e life trying to decid e whether or n ot the ” Greeks used du st p ans by the way “ I am sure hi s hou se was dirty th en O h fearfully He was unbearabl e That s ” what I m afraid Rufu s will fall into “ Do you mean that he ll think so much about ” Chri stianit y that he l l become a heathen ? a sked John smiling Y es ex actly You h ave such a way of put ting things ! N ow I wouldn t mind h alf so much if Rufu s became a C atholic Lot s of smart peopl e are C atholics ; an d th ey alw ay s h ang ro saries over their babies beds an d m ake them look perfectly sweet I think C atholici sm is an awfully nice religion anyw ay But thi s sort of middle cl a ss Anglic ani sm is wh at I can t stand It always m akes on e think of fam ily Sunday luncheon s an d cold roas t beef an d wet um an d gr ay woolen stocking s ,
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brell as John threw back .
his 2 61
head
an d
l aughed
.
“
You m lly oufi t to write a book, Lady C ar
fully bad formto do
anyt hing of
Then you think the
“
nt cou
say
for
most
,
most ?
o u y
m
ople
that
sort
” .
who do least
”
mean least
.
I like being complicated myself “ I d rather be like t he M aze at S o do I ” H ampton C our t th an anythin g I know “ You could never be charming if you were ” n ot your self said John prett i ly ” There goes Geo ffry observed L ady C ar “ nif ex after a mom ent s p au se Isn t he good looking Mr A shburton ? I do wi sh though that I coul d thin k wh at is the m atter with the boy ! ” “ Why ? asked John c arelessly enough “
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Carria youtalk enough t o wake the dead r
“
’
won t ’
say another
word
”
.
Geofi ry had been t rying to
He found her a corner of
at
the
her partner
last,
p
to Leo
x l n e i n u i t e p d u e e c t y, q
conser vat ory,
The
.
s eak
man
talking gaily to
arose
as
Ge ofi ry
ppro ached “ Thi s i sn t your dance but you can have it “ under her breath And I said L eonid a don t want to d ance I m too tired Let us sit here and res t He sat down beside her sil ently and looked They were screened from the about him m ain con servatory by a wall of pal ms A little stone fountain stood in front of them an d th e spl ash of the w ater drowned the sound s a
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of
th e
b allroom
.
2 64
GEOFFRY S
H OM E
’
-
COM IN G
whi te
L onida opened great feather fan an d mov ed it slowly t o an d fr o They w ere both excited but being a woman She showed it her
e
-
,
.
,
less “
.
You
x ctly convers ational !
ar e n ot e a
”
she
remarked “ ” N o perh ap s n ot He t urned an d looked her over with his frank blue eyes into which “ s om ethin g n ew h ad crept of l ate D o you he know h ow beautiful you are Leonida asked “ S he l aughed My dear Geo ffry I did not a sk you t o pay me compliments but t o t alk — The compliments of of one s family ar e ” alw ay s b an al G eo ff ry s mouth twitched He took on e lon g glove from her lap an d began dr awing it through his big well shaped finger s “ ” I h av e a piece of news to tell you he said ” I am going aw ay The drip drip of the fountain was the only s ound which broke the s til lnes s Somehow L eonid a found her voice .
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18
2 65
,
t f e t a g
than, for I certainly sha n t have energy ’
’
to take them out
alone
”
.
B ecause I have found out that I love some ” he sai d on e whom I hav e no right to love, “
moment Leonida Shut her eyes an d prayed with her whole soul for strength O n e r h e r t goni d cry w nt up from hungr y ea a e z e g life so young so fair an d so lonely S he set her teeth an d pressed her fin ger n ails into the palms of her hands Self control is surely given of God : for when she spoke her voice was as qui et as strong as friendly as ever ” “ “ My dear Geo ffry She said I am very — gl ad we h ave thi s chance to t alk very glad indeed It is much better It has occ urred t o In that
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2 66
ld not cou
utter
mechanically
,
a
word
st li v ing
W ould you care
“
‘
q
.
to
She fanned herself choke
back the tor
t o go back to the ball
uite madyfi she answemd
“
.
we had better go
.
ried them ofi orning the
’
m
,
Your mother did
yin g that it was
all
sa
I thin k
not
want
hours of
.
John and Leonida walked down the stairs a little a fte r the oth ers She noticed vaguely that he never once looked at her A s he held out hi s h and to bid her good by hi s eyes lit .
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,
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,
on
her fan
.
”
“
“
Look 1 he said It is broken What a ” pity ! And he opened it and held it again st the light to discover the extent of the damage It .
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2 68
GEOFFRY S
H OM E
’
-
COM IN G
h appened th at the shadow it cast was be t ween Leonid a s face an d Geofi ry C arnifex s eyes as he came up t o say good night L eonid a found her maid at the front door in so
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Slo ane Street S he di smi ssed the woman at once saying She preferred t o get out of her dress alone an d then b egan to tiptoe up the Somewhere in the silent house a clock stair s .
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truck three At the dr awing room door she pau sed H ow white the moonlight lay upon the floor ! His face had had just that unearthly p allor when he h ad turned t o her And there in the c enter of the room wh ere he h ad stood the fir st night — he c ame hom e an d held both her h and s she could still feel the thrill that had gone through Leonida L eonida ! H ow her name her s ound ed wh en he spoke it ! S he moved forward suddenly an d flung her self on her kn ees by the sofa burying her head in the cushions The whole thi ng seemed The first long sum so ho r ribly clear t o her mer day s at C arl ey Weir when she had striven s
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2 69
the
y
agon
of
those
months
without
word
a
ms into his eyes
strange look
had
—she
hav e borne it bet ter
cou ld
.
not co
as
,
he
It would
.
ming
char
,
blithesome, whole hearted Ghofi ry And
n ow,
-
.
what had she done t o night ? -
Her tears
me
last P assionately She — told herself that she was glad glad after all r m in spite of he i sery At least it would en d clean clean and pure as it had always been without on e thought of taint or disloy alty to Rufus She would conquer Geofi ry s love by her own ; firmly and surely she woul d force it b ack into the bond s of a happy healthy friend F or him at any co s t there must be as shi p little sufi erin g as po ssible F or h er self she would always know th at each wound she had ca
at
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2 70
,
III
THE
TU RNIN G P O IN T -
TUR N IN G P O IN T
THE
-
mind s of tho se immort al men who se geniu s laid the corner stone of the faith ; who se p erseverance encour aged it amid the horror s an d trial s of the persecutions of an un known an d unthinking land ; who se sympathies w ere boundless though surrounded by the belittling influences of a sterile community ; who se hum anity was all comprehen siv e To them we owe our privilege th at t o d ay we may proudly look b ack to an unequ aled p ast an d may hope for a divine future They gave us the herit age of an undying doctrin e an d an immut able convict ion Thus it is to them that these pages the frui t of years of l abor an d thought are o ff ered as a tribute t o their great ness by on e who ask s n o great er title than th at of scholar of the church John took several long whi ff s of the ciga “ ” rette he held before he spoke W h y he “ a sked quietly did you n ot dedicate it to your ” wife ? T o the
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— wife Leonida ?
“
My j esting Mr A shburton ,
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2 77
Why you mu st be Leonida really com ,
T HE
M I SFIT
C RO W N
prehends noth ing of my subj ect ; and wh at she does comprehend I m af raid bores her more ” than it in teres ts her “ The mo st beautiful dedica tion I have ever ” read w as in N ans en s F arthest N orth O h “ His wife h ad never been to served John the Arcti c regions Rufu s Yet he wrote these wo rds for her : To her who chri stened the ship an d w as br ave enough to st ay behind H e ro se an d l aid hi s hand on Rufus s sh oulder “ I think Leonida did a go od deal tow ard chri stenin g your Sh ip And I think it would ’
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mean a great deal if at this time of her life you dedicated the book to her “ But I really fail t o see the allu sion re to t ted Rufu s a little cro ssly “ The allu sion is simply this : S he is a v ery young woman S he h as all the sensitiveness of a southern nat ure To people of her st amp the sm all tendernesses of life count for an immens e amount I think Leonida is some t imes lonely Rufus It has of course been impo ssible with your work an d your ill health ,
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2 78
Of
u
co rae
l
m ry way
,
no
shou ld
Of
t tO please Ie onida in of
my
an d
he
but the historical bearing
m
tem
m
he had
r, and
no
false pri de ;
”
“
course he said ri sing I quite under st and th at you w atching Leonid a as clo sely as you do an d thinking for her inces santly ar e perh ap s a better judge of the sit uation than I Ah here is the l ady Good by Rufus good by ,
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There are some moments in our lives wh en w e in stinctively under stand on e anoth er — Wo rd s seem superfl uous indeed they would mar the symp athy of tru st an d confidence .
,
280
TUR N IN G P O IN T
THE
-
which ri ses from our heart s In retro spect we may nev er allude t o these moment s ; yet we see them sh arp an d clea r with a strength in their influence which is grounded upon the clo sest ph ase of human sympathy : Mutual comprehen sion It is perh ap s fort unate that ,
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uch exp eriences come t o us seldom and almo st never t wice They would lo se their force by r epetition an d much of their influen ce would seem a m ere impul se of sentim ent John A shburton an d L eonida spoke v ery little that morning They sat under one of the old o ak s In Ken sington G arden s She w atch ing the sheep graze he looking at the outline of her p r o fil e again st t he S ky The bell s rang out their chime every n ow and then an d the voices of s ome of the children in the alleyway s drifted t o them L eonida felt so strongly th at he s aw her truly that it seemed useless t o attempt to talk A hard line aw ay t he b arrier b et ween them had come in the corner s of her mouth l ately S he would n ot h ave allowed her self to be un s
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19
2 81
mother s
that she was her
showed
’
child.
B ut
to John she was difi erent
.
S uppose he should
ness
.
her
so
ev er allu de
Suppose he should suspect the
miserably hard ;
is that
one
so
does not
full of
t o it to
u
ca se of
an in cessant
bat
care
.
“
Do y ou know said John suddenly I have had a piece of bad new s t hi s morning ! Leonida t urned to him and the color faded “ ” from her cheeks New s ? “ Yes The worst po ssible new s to one who is a cynic already O n e of my oldest an d best ” f riend s has di sappointed me He leaned forward restin g his chin on his h and and looking up into her face ,
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2 82
C R OW N
M ISF IT
THE
woman would perhaps h ave hunted with h im or gambled with him ; the excuse is alway s ac c o rd ing to ta ste S o an arrangement more o r l es s amic able h a s been m ade by which t he divorce court is m ade to seem les s dirty an d the go s s ip less true Incomp atibility of temper they ca l l ” it I believe Leonida had completed a neat little circle of holes with her p ar asol point Suddenly t he tear s rushed into her eyes “ H ave you ev er con sidered that a woman ” may be lonely at home ? she asked impulsively “ Oh dear me yes H ow very young you I tell you it is all a question o f ar e L eon id a ! S ome people put it in a m ore pl au s excuse ible light th an other s T hat is all It is a tr agi cally great step br ought abo ut by ludi F or in st an ce a w om an c r ously sm all c au ses fi r st think s h er hu sb an d mi sun d er stan d s her s om e d ay when h e s ay s she h a s on an un bec om — ing dres s when she is ti red an yw ay an d the cook h ad given n otice M oun t ain s are very The ea sily p atched t ogether out of mol e hill s .
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2 84
TUR N IN G PO IN T
T HE
-
thing these fool s will n ot underst and is th at once giv en a mountain on e can never revolve ,
,
it back
”
mole hill ag ain “ DO you mean soci al o straci sm ? H ow little h A s e n h i ow c of lov Mr u k n f s u fli e o o e c t y y burton John laughed “ My dear child love at second h and does not depend on the within but on the without N o m atter how many p airs of ro se colored dimin ishing gl a s ses on e buys on e can nev er quite look thro ugh the grim e that accumulates in the divorce court “ You ar e a sl ave to social convention ality C ertainly I am! I benefit by s ociety s ask ing me to dinner an d t o stop with it over Sun d ay I wouldn t o ff end it for the world It — — is n ot th at divorce in our age les sen s other people s respect for on e It is that it lessen s one s respect for oneself P er s on ally I h ave — preferred or Providence has preferred for me —a norm al single t o a h ectic double state I don t like b abies I never kn ow which are girl s to
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285
and
which
only by its
and
are
B ut if I did
boys
.
manency
r e p
measures
the
,
only ofi cial ones
An d
.
M argaret W idmore
neither
I
I could be Methodist ,
.
are
marry
nor
her
any of
fort able
.
“
But you do not all ow for unh appiness ! “ ” U nh appiness said John y awning spelled b ackward generall y means stupidi ty Th e world s a very nice place Perhaps it can t be alway s plum cake but it can almo st alw ay s , with a little tact and a good cook, be home made bread A woman should read her menu ” carefully before settling h er self at any t able “ I thi nk you for Leonid a laughed wearily h h es ll e th t om n do c t ring t a t e a a t a e w e g ,
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286
what poor Ludovic liked for breakfast
O h,
.
and
heaven s !
o o d g
ptimist, aft er such
o
W idmore has ” men ta l arithmetic ! r t a e g
M y scale
“
Of
me to be an w oman as M a r
s a u k o y a cl
er v e failed so
weights
lamentably in
measures
and
y
sa s ,
”
in a low voice, that she w as an un happy woman who had made a great mistake, ns hin e and that She had a right to some su “ O f course my dear chil d you are sympa thetic and charitable as usual N o no no ; I will try to look at such women as you an d be lieve th at you do n ot all bleed sawdust when n r d prick d th t your compl xion u e e a a e o a s y your own Don t tell me I m cynical ! I kn ow I am O nly help me as usual to believe in thi n gs He leaned forward an d l aid his h and on her s “ S eriou sly L eonida you hav e m ade me b e lieve in things Your mother once warn ed me again s t trying to infl uence you O ften I won “
she said,
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288
TUR N IN G P OIN T
T HE
-
if She know s how deeply you h av e come to — I did not b eli eve say three infl uence me — year s ago in stability in genuine impulses in const ancy or in faith its elf But you h ave taught me so much little lady ! you have forced me to be a better man because I believe ” in you A second lat er John turned away to look at his w atch ; he could not h av e seen the li ttle s tream of blood th at w as running from Leo nid a s bitten lips “ ” “ H alf p ast twelve ! he said We ve stayed too long And we are all going to the play you kn ow t o night Geo ffry comes b ack to town to d ay And you an d he an d I an d Lady C arn ifex will fill the box sufficiently to make it very uncomfortable Leonid a ro se an d opened her sun sh ade ; an d they started on their homeward walk “ Geo ff ry is so big he fil l s any box by him ” sh e rem arked c arel essly self ! “ Geo ff ry is a very amu sing fellow I have quite learned to know him since he c ame home der
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289
T HE
b
l?
M I SFI T C R OWN
nt charac ter he is !
o i
c ns st e
o u m ea n e ? d E y
M
M the
s
t o be
”
y goin g popul ar fine
eas
oul of honor
.
-
,
H e is
,
one of
those peo
— cigar
“
I think Geof moment t o light hi s fry practically incap able of a great aff ec tion ” “ I do not see th at th at is logical said Leo ni d a me chanic ally “ John thought for a moment On e of the hi i s n c iti s of f to m omp a nio n l e r i m e s s e c c e i p H is heart is m ade up of so many pieces ship so m any enthu si asm s s o m any friend ship s that I do not think it could ever contract to a a
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29 0
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failed An d the mo ment Geo ff ry had looked into her eyes he would
— had failed mi serably
.
kn ow he had won
realised the strength of it She told her self she would never have seen him S he would h ave battled against every ag ain circum st ance in order to keep her O ld numb — ness to absorb herself in Rufus s ills an d to reali se th at the love Geo ff ry bore her w as be — yond her above her Why had God made her feel so much ? Why was She so p assionate ? If
sh e
h ad
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29 2
T URN IN G P OIN T
T HE
-
cruel cruel to force her back into an the etern al pri son an d then let the sun shin e unatt ainable sun shine stream in on her in all it s glory An d n ow wh at w as sh e to d o ? She mu st face him she must live somehow through see ing him during the summer ; an d when the mn came he would go away Leonida aut u clenched her hands S he leaned out of her win dow into the fading afternoon sunshine — H ow beautiful the sky w as why should she be blinded to it forever ? H ow v ast an d fair — the w orld w as why should sh e die of slow starv ation ? It w as
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With a mo an she turned an d made her w ay into Rufu s s sitting room Th e carefully tid ied writing table th e pr eci sely r anged book shelv es seemed t o m ak e h er feel giddy an d sick Sh e w as t oo young for thi s too young O n the desk lay a slip of p aper with her n ame on it S he picked it up “ Please copy the notes in volume 1 1 sec ” tion 1 of the Rev Dr Whitman s S ermons ,
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2 93
,
home,
alone at
ton
aren
t you?
’
or are
u o y
o i n g g
.
“
I
nid a
her
me
can n ot co
,
tremulously
ears, an d
thank you,
answered
Leo
S omet hing was singing in “ hands were wet and cold I
.
her
.
W ell then youand Geofi ry can drop me in ” C adogan Square said L ady C arnifex a s t he “ three piled into the brougham ; then he wi l l drive around to Slo ane S treet with you an d see you safely into the hou s e I hate to think of you being there alone I m so terribly Do let your maid sleep on afr aid of burgl ars the sofa in th e hall Leoni da leaned back in a corner of the car riege an d watched the yellow lights fl ash by L ady C arnifex rattled on ah the window s en tly to Geo ffr y until they stopped at her do or “
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THE
TUR N IN G P OIN T -
in Cadogan Square She t urned an d drew the girl to her “ You won t come in with me for the night ” dear ? F or on e horrible moment Leonid a h esitated Then she silently shook her head She an d G eo ff ry never spoke as they drove around to Slo ane Street H e took her key from her on the doorstep “ I sh all come in with you an d see that you “ ” fin d your m aid all right he said Is she ” w aiting up for you ? .
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Yes
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l o want to get a p arcel which mother s aid she left on your dr awing room tabl e I ” promi sed to take it to her “ ” Very well she answered mechanically S he led the way up to the dr awing room The room w as lit by a clear summ er moon shining in as it h ad shone there on h er bowed figure the night when she h ad b een s o sure she h ad conquered S he turned to a sk Geo ff ry if he needed a I
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20
297
Ho had d oced th e
light to flnd the parc al
.
She could that
so
she
Shs
not speak.
mk down holp
s
locked thm together in her la p
— How long hav e youcared
“
Her v oice would not
he
.
asked.
me When she final ly
co
.
r it was in a whi sper “ Alway s ever since C arley Weir H e broke out passionately “ Why in God s name did you m ar r y ” Rufus ? S he ro se impul sively an d turned to the w in dow H ardly knowing wh at she did sh e opened it an d let in the hot night air T h e action seemed to st eady her for a moment ” “ You must go Geo ff ry she said faintly I will not go I will not believe that you
a swe ed ,
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2 98
.
many men have lov ed wom en loved you these pa st weeks I h av e smallest things abou t you Leoni da lov ed yo ur voice an d y our look, an d th e .
,
it will kill
.
me
Her br eath came in thick, short gasps S ilk
c
urtains
to
.
keep
S he h er
play fair I wi ll wait t wo weeks for you to decide I will stay here in town and let you think it out alone at C arley Then when tw o week s are up you mu st an swer me And if I a u s o lov t nth a s much lov e m a e o e u e y y ” your an swer will be yes Leonida made a violent eff ort to contr o l
to
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her self “ But .
gain
a
— f f e mu s t go G o ry n ow o u y ,
.
300
” ,
she sa
id
TUR N IN G P OIN T
THE
-
There was a breathles s pause for a second Then Geo ff ry bent suddenly forward and c aught her in his arm s crushi ng her again st him an d covering her face with ki sses F or a moment she lay there a mad happiness thri ll ing through her Then she broke away By some superhuman eff ort she managed to reach the door .
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301
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.
B O O K F O UR
JO
HN S ’
V
I CTORY
of Jul y Rufus s book went to the publi sher s H e h ad worked himself almo s t ill to compl ete it an d when the long mental str ai n fin ally broke and relax ation c ame he collap sed They moved him to C arley with every possi ble precaution an d the rest and the good Devon H e could air r apidly began to aff ect him an d w as continu al ly ev en pl an n ew eff orts Leoni da anxiou s t o be read t o an d amu sed after the fir st week sent hi s nur se b ack t o town an d thr ew her self into the w ork of c aring for him with passionate eagerness It w as a re lief after all to have something to do Geo ff ry after his mother had left for the C ontinent had taken room s in town N o one TH E first d ay
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305
M I SFIT
T HE
CR OW N
much of him; an d he said he had n o knew w ell en ough that he w as to make a move an d she f elt unable to act S he could bear — r h e e e e routin of v y day dut y very well She t could n ot bear th e thought of facing the d eci sion before her A S each day dawned she coun ted it O H from the calendar of her lif e ; ,
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She coul d ome p etty lit tle incident onl y wait until the time came when he shoul d ask her for her fin al answer an d t ry t o b e
or
s
.
,
rong When they had been at C arley some t en days a note came on e morning for Leonida nny ol d as she an d Rufu s were sitting in the su g arden A t able had been li fted out an d her e Rufu s kept his books an d his medicines fin d in g healing in the cool sea breezes which wer e
st
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c nted with
s e
the
full glory 306
of
the
heather
.
his curtains ?
”
fun t o hang curtains
rather
ru nning riot ov er
the
delicat e petals
soft,
.
med
see
to
ease
head
.
have been considering very seriously “ Rufus began after a moment s silence wh a t work I Shall undertake next I w ant to ta lk ” the matt er ov er with you “ Don t you think you might rest for j us t thi s summer ? You know you are not ver y ” strong “ But I don t think on e should ever rem ain inactive Leonida O n e owes oneself to t h e world N o I must continue t o write T h e ” question is wh at ? “
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308
JOH N S VICTORY ’
H e turned ov er some book s
t able “ ” “ I w ant t o confide to you he went on that in the autumn I intend to enter upon another — — l arge if n ot l arger field I mean t o write a cont empl ative study of the liv es of t he ea rly bishop s My former l abor has qualified me for the chronicling of thi s peculi ar er a But during the summer I wi sh t o d o s ome form of literary work And I thi nk I hav e almo st decided wh at it is t o be L eonid a freed her branch of ro ses and rou sed “ ” herself Yes ? “ Yes I have almo st decided M y knowl edg e of the G erman l angu age is far fr om su r fi c i l I s n e thi n k I h a ll tr n s l a t into it a a d a e p some of the W el sh l egend s in your littl e book ” there H e pointed t o a little volume on the “ table b efore him You read aloud t o me if n I n r m mb r night wh n could o u e e e o e e o t y sleep on e es peci ally ch arming littl e tal e It greatly impressed me Th ere are many way s in which you can help me Leonid a T o begin with I shall ask you often to read the E ngli sh on
t he
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309
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style.
What do youthink of my plan ?
“
I fl nd it
I will do
ex cellcnt.
wer to help yomRufus
o p
est
”
all
in
my
”
.
in
mywork was
r al nat u
that it
not as
r ea as t g
it us ed t o
m dry and
shou ld see
She winced suddenly,
and
did
dull t o
not answer .
J ohn that same after noon H e was standin g on the porch of ’ the doct or s cottage imm acul ate in his c o o l white fl ann els an d measuring curtain poles with elaborate care “ Good heavens Leonida he called as she “ How glad I am to see you! C ome d rove up These thin gs are like an d help me in st antly ” a b ad dream S he took off her hat an d prep ared to w ork J ohn brought out piles of snowy muslin cur She drove
over
to
see
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31 0
.
Have you had
anywa
y, Leonida ?
with Rufus ?
a
u ar r e l q
”
He led the way indoors, to where
ida to ok a curtain from him, the t op of the ladder
n
a
step
and clin ib ed
to
.
“
I
m going
a
she sai
d
han d
“ .
to do the fitting
and
It is much ni cer work ;
me the thin gs I
need.
tackin g ,
and
o u c an y
”
“
J ohn sighed I have been looking forwa rd all d ay to sit ting on that la dder myself ! B ut .
Rufu s “
.
H ow like
a
man ! I never
id I had h a d
sa
a
quarrel with Rufu s “ But when I said so you did n ot contr a dict me L eonida shook out some tack s in the palm o f “ It is t o o her hand an d counted th em gravely “ ” She observed Anyw ay hot t o contradict ” wh at is the use ? “ Don t be so an alytical my dear Leo ni d a It is di sagreeable Life a s I h ave often t o l d .
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J OH N u o y ,
is
n ot
’
S
VICTORY
question of
a
n lysing but
a a
,
of
”
being agreeable They were silent for a moment “ “ ” It is curiou s h ow said John pl easantly diff erent mental ages befall on e on di ff erent days Yesterday I w as eighty t wo To d ay I am not more th an t wenty eight an d six ” months “ Doesn t the jump fatigue you? Oh dear n o Why I once skipped from ninety t o sixteen in the space of an hour “ ” Wh at worked the change ? asked L eonida Truthfully ? Well I had been talking to some on e an d some on e else interr upted .
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Who were the t wo people ? “ ” You an d Rufus ! “ But it was I S he thought for a moment wh o m ade you feel old an d Rufu s who m ade s s e e e f l young n v rth l o u e ee y “ John smiled Leonida you are too clever for a wom an “ A nd you are too clev er for a pessimist “
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21
31 3
M ISF IT
THE
CR OW N
in Silence John was h um ming a li ttle tune under his breath He w as in — s great pirits to day Leonida thought “ Where d o you get your courage from sh e asked suddenly “ H e l aughed I have never needed to l o o k f or courage It has n ot happen ed that I w a s a t tacked by burgl ars or wild beasts or a q uer n lous wife You see looking b ack over my interesting career it really do es strike on e h o w little has h appened to me Though I believe a t the age of ten I did hav e the chi cken pox B ut I can n ot be sure I will write an d a sk my m other if you really want to know Howev e r all thi s h a s left me b etter O ff th an mo st p eo p l e I nev er t e ll an d l ooking y ounger th an I am my age ; peopl e who tell their ages ar e in v a r ia bly older th an they look an d have to lie in c o n They worked
on
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quen ce
se
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“
Y ou
hould h av e m arri ed !
s
”
s ai
d Leon id a
pen siv ely “ I h ave alw ay s s ai d th at if I could m eet th e Fig aro p er s on ifi ed I w ould marry her S h e .
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31 4
My faults v ir tu es
m all modermand
a
so are all
my
”
.
she asked.
o b e u y
“
l a d ? g
Youand I
are really v ery clevar.
”
do our best to tarnish it ; bnt even diamon ds badly set are beautif ul, and tourist hotels ca n
tot ally ruin S witz erland Al ways remem ” ber that Leonid a wh atever li fe brings to yo u H e rai sed hi s hand an d laid it suddenly on “ her s as he stood by the step l adder N O mat ter how much is t aken away it do es n ot nec es s arily mar th e beauty of wh at remains Do n ot let your c ake be soured becau se the pl u ms ” have di sappeared from it ” “ But without plum s it is n ot cake she s a i d n ot
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a
li ttle
dly
sa
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31 6
,
JOH N S VICTORY ’
N o it is not cake But as I said to you once before it is home made bread W e can not all be sky rocket s ; and when on e h as learned that on emust just go home p atiently an d r eali se that on e s dr awing room fir e is alway s th ere You know my favorit e m axim th at life is full of agr émen ts I don t mean agr émen ts in a belittling w ay ; but as good an d h appy and amu sing tasks which ar e always ” waiting to be done an d to be don e well Leonid a descended from her step ladder S he began to tie b ack a curt ain with a neat little bow of white ribbon H er head was b ent an d John could not see the tears in her eyes “ ” I underst and ! she lightly an swered You mean th at there are al way s curtains to ” be put up ! “ Yes ; and there should be a pride in doing it w ell My dear child how beautifully you have done your work by the w ay ! They look charming don t they ? And I am tired out from simply watching you C ome into the ” library an d h ave tea .
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31 7
C ROW N
M I SF IT
THE
He
put her into an easy ch air tucked so m e cu shion s behind her and poured out her tea “ Yesterday I almo st mi ssed my train in order to step an d buy th ese c akes with pink icing ” “ f or you ! he ob served gaily It is really v ery good of me always to hav e them when we have tea together f or th ey give me a mo st s homi n able indigesti on Leonida went on with her tea in sil ence “ ” You are too good to me Mr Ashburton sh e s aid finally in a l ow voi ce which shook a littl e “ ” An d wh at do y ou ev er let me do for you ? “ I am going to ask you t o do s omething for me this very afternoon My eyes have tr oubl ed me a good deal these l ast few d ays an d I wa nt to know if you will sit down there at my des k It mu s t catch t h e an d write a lett er for me night mail to town And by saving my ey es n ow you will en able me t o fini sh a mo st int er ” Will you? esting book befor e morning “ O f cour se with the gr eatest pleasure B ut ” wh at is such a little thin g ? “ Do n ot c all it a little thing John laughed ,
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31 8
M ISF IT
THE
C R OW N
po sts cript to s ay on your own ac coun t th at you agree wi th my advice to h im A r e you ready ? Well then : You told me frankly th at nothi ng bound you to stay in L on don Under these circum stances then I be li eve th at everythi ng binds you to go back t o T ex as W e all owe the world some work I f n n o u a e ee e h v othi g k p you hom t o t a u o y y mo st cert ainly ought t o go an d pur sue the pa th o u e e l so n w r fol owing w l m k o e l a e s m d a e y thing of yourself You will excu se me if I s ay th at you ar e nothing v ery much now H e p au sed for a moment in thought his h and over his eyes I can n ot ag r ee with you that your vi s it home h ow ever has accompli shed n othin g I thin k you h ave learn ed h ow emin en tly fitted r r r n h n f c e a o s h lif wi your u a e a d e o o w y Wher e you h ave made such ch oi ce of it w a s a si gn al succes s it wo uld s eem m or e th an fool ish t o th r o w that succes s aw ay Go b ack then And a n d d o th e w o rk w e a ll ex pect of you what is more go back at on ce to
add a
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32 0
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JOH N S VICTORY ’
Leonida stopped for just on e second ; then she wrote on H er h and w as cool an d steady To t urn to more pr actical things went on I quit e underst and the dread you have John of bidding sentim ent al good bys t o your peo l r P a rting s a e quit u se l es s t hi ng s Th e y e e p alway s up set other s an d undermine one s r e Therefore if I s pect for one s own res olves were you I Should qui etly slip away by the South ampton bo at next week and write to your mother an d all of them from the steamer Sudden cables ar e alw ays good excu ses There ar e apt to be exception s how ever to every rule ; and I shoul d make an exception here B efore you go run down to C arley an d say good by to L eon ida John broke off It w as beyond hi s strength to go on while he could see that gray drawn If she wo ul d only set face b ehind him waver or cry out But She never faltered H e ro se an d began to p ace up an d down the .
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32 1
— I should not t ell Rufus it meant a par t
‘
down for the day,
mething
of
or so
that
sort .
B ut Leonida has been a good friend to you,
r e t g
it
an d
.
It was
o er at
v
— There that
He t ook
last, thank God
is
.
a
M any tha nks to you — little l ady Sign it now if you will J A I am sure you agree with my advice don t yo u? Good heavens wh at a fool thi s hou sekeeper i s ! There are n o envelopes to match this p ap er — Wait a minute I will run up and get s ome from my room I wi sh I had m arried af t er all
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all
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Leonida waited until his step sounded on Then she snatched up her pen an d the stai rs .
322
dog
-
cart ;
he stood in front
ing the horse s head, ’
tress
and
of
the
porch hold ,
wait ing for his
mi s
.
John
walked down the steps,
and stroked
o u y
th e
”
drive Firefly yourself, he cal led ” “ back to Leonida, be careful with him He bent his head, running his hand down th e “
I
see
.
fo r ward
.
Look out sir ! he shouted A mas s of whit e one of tho se very curt ain s at which John an d L eonid a had been working had blown out from the porch an d w as wh irl ing acro ss the driveway The horse restless an d high s trung as h e w a s did n ot noti ce it at Then with a quiv er of terror he fi r st plun ged m adly forward John heard the gr oom s warning ; a second But th at later he saw the whirling cur tain ”
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32 4
JOH N S VIC TORY ’
cond was too late A s Firefly kicked — he bent suddenly to the earth bent almo st double Then with a reel he fell By the time Leoni da had dropped on her knees beside him the hor se mad with t error an d beyond all control h ad broken aw ay John was unconscious Acro ss his forehead there was a curiou s blue mark Leoni da lifted his head to her lap, an d felt hi s wri st It w as pul seless “ ” Good God M rs C arnifex ! p anted the “ H e can t be dead ! It gr oom as he ran up wa s in the forehead Firefly kicked him But ” he c an t be dead ! Somehow Leonida found her voice ” “ “ We Go and get help ! She said ho ar sely mu st carry him indoors ; an d then send for the on e se
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vill age doctor The serv ant s ran out a moment l ater an d John was tenderly lifted L eonida w ent in ah ead and thr ew s om e rug s and pillow s on the — There they laid him to all ap libr ary so fa s s ar lif e l e n ce e a p .
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32 5
M ISFIT
THE
C ROW N
doctor w as surpri singly quick B y s ome h appy chance h e h ad been in th e n ei gh borhood H e b eg an by sending every on e s ave L eon ida out of the room ; then he told her th at the worst had happ ened ” “ “ B ut I doub t if He is not dead he s ai d he ever recov ers cons ciou sness It is con cus The hoof struck his s ion of the br ain you see ” forehead fir st an d then his temple “ N ev er the L eon ida S mind was made up less I Shall wire to town for t wo more d oc “ ” tors She an swered an d also to hi s bro th er , ” w ho is in Vienna “ H e can n ot Th e doctor Shook his h ead las t out the ni ght M rs C arni fex ; but d o as ” s e o u pl e a y Leoni d a wrote the t elegram s an d desp atch ed them O n John s desk she caught sight of th e lett er t o Geo ff ry S he bowed her h ead in agony f or a mom ent ; then she dropp ed th e lett er into the po st bag The
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The
long summer
t wilight
32 6
fell
.
Down
the
m fighh
mth
e
m
hou
dim lamp in
sav e one
They were all b reathlessly wait
the library
.
tu med her eyes fromJohn
’
nev er
motionless pulse
The
.
He is
“
ming to
co
”
,
f i d a c e g
s ri
nd only sou
.
was the
he whispered
.
There was a flicker of the eyelids a tremor The doctor told Leo nida what t o of the lip s bring him an d She Silently obeyed A sec o n d l ater John opened hi s eyes “ “ he murmur ed Leonida my p o o r — — child L eonid a ah ! send her out of the ro om ,
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— she mu stn t ’
see
With a moan Leonida turned away The housekeeper took her pl ace Togeth e r she an d th e doctor did all that hum an h a n d s could But John A shburton s race was run .
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32 8
JOH N S VICT ORY ’
doctor came out of the room about h alf an hour after John h ad spoken ” “ Y ouhad better come back he said S hortly — H e do es not mind The en d is very near your being there now He is perfectly con ” sciou s John was sur rounded with pillows with a whi te cloth over hi s forehead As Leon ida and the doctor entered the doo r way he was speak ing to the hou sekeeper — You are quite sure she can not see any “ — thing painful he w as saying Ah Leo n ida my dear ! C ome an d sit here by me She drew up a ch ai r and sat down catching his hand in hers an d holding it again st her lip s S he co ul d not sp eak “ ” — Doctor John went on hi s voice was “ — strong an d almo st n atur al Doctor I want to be alone with M rs C arnifex if you please If you will wai t at the door She will call you if She wants you The doctor clo sed the door behind himso ftly How still the room was ! Only the eternal tick The
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22
329
John
raised
stairs,
his free hand
and
laid it
on
her
Leonida ?
“
Yes
” .
cushi n
behin d you, dear chil d I am sorry I can n ot reach it for you Your poor back will be so tired A great sob broke from her “ How am I to live without you sh e “ mo aned There is no one now God help me ” God help me ! ” “ said J ohn gently My dear little girl perhap s it is good for you that I should g o It will make you dep end on your home mor e I don t think I v e alway s acted wi sely with you Put that
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330
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m
to forget this
nearer
Yet
.
He m
a t ouch of
W
W
M
m
afh
mocn
.
Not tho
vary
a
nfi ng a htfl a and his h nds '
his old gaid y came c ver him ” IM M N R W M .
he m fl ed i s to thank hhn for letfing ms know ‘
m
o u . y
God blen yw alv ay little h dy F or n h h v o a n o m o m e u a l f r w v e e d o e a e o t o m e S y .
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— M ore have bored me n one have made me n u — — — happy B ut you Leonid a have made me .
9,
ying John A shbur ton t urn ed hi s face to the wall and went his way An d
so sa
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332
II
LE ONIDA S C R O WN ’
T HE
CR OW N
M ISFI T
A tall old clock standin g in a dim corner of the room ticked the seconds placidly along There was a certain peace which belongs only to clock s that have told 0 3 m any lifetimes in the swin g of its pendulum A s the hand s drew near twelve it seemed to gather its strengt h togeth er an d gave a little wheeze of fatigue Then it st ruck A s the last chime of twelv e rang out Leonida an d Geofi ry C arnifex en tered the room Geo ff ry clo sed the door carefully behind him Then he turned to her ,
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t ndin g with her b ack to the win dow She leaned rather heavily with on e hand upon Rufu s s writing t able but her head w as The noon sunshine erect an d her ey es shon e seem ed t o light en about her h air an d G eo ffr y s aw with a sudd en t ight ening about his hea rt that around her neck there was tied a little piece of blue ribbon F or a moment neither moved to br eak th e S omewhere in the orch ard a bird sil ence s ang sudd enly a few sw eet tremulou s notes S he was
s a
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336
.
LEONIDA S CR OW N ’
F in ally she spoke Geofi ry involuntarily str aightened his shoulder s as her lip s op ened “ ” You understood Geofi ry she said ” Yes I under stood And you will sail on Thursd ay ? .
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Yes
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— Do n ot d o
gently “
n ot
come back soon
” ,
she sa
id
.
I will
not come b ack at all L eonida I ” think it will be easier that way There was a pause ” “ I pray every moment of my li fe she went “ on that you may have plenty of work It will help you more than anything else I sh all alway s w ant to thi nk of you as battling an d ” — gaini ng never as idle an d useless G eo ffry moved a step nearer her He leaned — upon the table in hi s tum with Rufu s s proo f — an d looked at her in sheets under his h and ,
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t en tly
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Leonida I am acceptin g your decision as well as I can I am trying to bear up under it — I am go ing to live though an d to be a man “
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337
God lmows l don t want t o
One little thing I
’
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ask yout o do
me
kis s
— nida
for me in
— f o o u b e re y
1
retu r n z l ask
I go
.
Will
u l o t o e t y
u o y ,
Leo
”
She d osed her eyea that he
might
not see
the misery in them Then she drew herself up .
t o her full height
.
Geofl ry tears
of
sank
blood
into
a chair, and
hid his face
me into his eyes
ca
and
,
his
sobs
bowed head but She clenched them spasmo dic The bird s ally and pres sed again st her lip s s ong s ound ed ag ai n with almo st a cruelty of sweetn es s ” “ It mu st all end s ome d ay she said wearily ; ” an d then the pain will be p as sed He r ai sed his head “ What can never end Leonida is what you ” have done for me L eonida turned an d looked out steadily into “ I don t b eli eve you will ev er lov e the sun shi ne ,
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338
,
LEON IDA S CR OW N ’
o u y
r id
af a
will
t o town
miss your train
.
C an t you wait over until t o morrow Leonida rolled hi s chair for war d an d patted ’
-
the
cushions “ ” “ Sit down she answered gently ; you look O f course N o Geofi ry can not s tay tired I will read the end of the sto ry Give me the .
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book
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” .
moved slowly to the window the worn lit tle volume in her hand an d s tood looking back into the room The sun at it s height of glory streamed a golden path from behin d her erect figure Geo ffry pr essed his hand t o his head in uncontroll abl e pain caught up S he
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his hat,
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walked quickly over to the door He turned an d p aused with the knob in his hand gazing at her over Rufus s shrunken F or form bet ween them in the great chair and
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moment their eyes met Then she began to read “ And many years have passed ov er her head an d many storms But he has n ot come one
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t o her
a ai
g n
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34 1
